Title: The Dragonball Z Boot Camp

Author: J'dee

Rating: NC-13 (offensive language)

Genre: Drama?? / Humour??

Author's Notes: Okay the "head" of the Boot Camp will not be revealed until a 3rd person can guess who s/he is… and then there will be a 1st 2nd and 3rd prize… there are 3 hints in the chappie as to who the "head" is for those who still want to guess. Also that's why the chappie was on hold for so long I wanted another correct guess. Plushie I mean plus there was a major writer's block. And I mean big time.

Added A.N: Okay for those who wanted plushies. Fan F%#kin' net removed Boot Camp and eight other fics! Due to it violating some weird and yet unknown guideline. So I lost the reviews… and the plushie list that was there. So those who want plushies e-mail me with the info again, they will come in another plushie take over chapter… but that's not this chapter. I'm so sorry folks. But I have to get another plushie list going. So re-review your plushie list please. Oh and WildThing your evil half will come out just not this chappie I haven't forgotten. But let me know what her name was again. I lost that too… -.-v

Um and if you don't feature in the chapter so sorry. But I'm kinda stuck for inspiration but if you want to be in a chapter and doing something evil and devilistic e-mail me (again) and let me know what you want to be doing okay?

!!!Boot Camp - Platoon Updates!!!

Platoon Vegeta: Jeril Dragonsoul (FULL)

* VegetaGokuLover -

* Diamond Sky -

* TRF -

* Tanti -

*DeathdroidMk2 -

Platoon Mirai Trunks: J'dee (FULL)

* SaiyanAngel Princess -

* Jillitude -

* WildThing -

* Cheetah -

* Sailor Taichichi Vegeta -

Platoon Goku: S'rac (FULL)

* Artemisia (Arty) -

* Asilin -

* Washu -

* shinieblue -

* Chinow -

Platoon Gohan: BananaGirl (FULL)

* Jimbo -

* Aakeido -

* Xenia -

* Fox -

* VaarJ -

Platoon Bardock: Bura (FULL)

* Cherry wolf -

* Heaako -

* Cathowl

* Lavender -

*Toraneko

Platoon Piccolo: Mabelle (FULL)

* Maria li -

* Piccoloz Girl 01 -

*stina-chan -

* Reikon -

* Khaos -

Platoon Chibi Trunks: Springwarrior

* Itami -

* juuaichi -* Chibionna -

* Chichigal -

*

Platoon Chibi Goten: GangstaVidel

* Epona -

* Sayuri -* Geta -

*

*

Platoon Bulma: Tobias

*NDela - 6ft, brown hair, green eyes, glasses, a calmer person than Tobias (also his muse) (NEW)

*

*

*

*

*****

UTU

(pron: eh-too, Maori for Revenge)

S'rac sat in the meeting barracks of all those leading the certain platoons of Boot Camp. The "head" of boot camp sitting at the head of the table.

"Nooooooo!!" He held his head and climbed under the table.

"I'm sorry." J'dee apologised. "I just wanted even number of platoons."

"Hmph." Jeril crossed her arms. "The men will take over you know. If we let them, which we won't."

Mabelle sighed. "So who is the new platoon leader and what platoon is he leading?"

J'dee rubbed the back of her neck. "It's Toby and he's leading Platoon Bulma."

"I didn't see that coming." SpringWarrior remarked.

GangstaVidel shrugged. "Does it matter? Us women are ruling the camp anyway." (AN: Hint #1)

"I still have to head out and meet him at the loading zone." J'dee sighed.

"What happened to the loading zone inside the boot camp that Jimbo's always using?" BananaGirl questioned wearing her new Vegeta shirt proudly despite still partly being platoon Gohan's sergeant.

"Too much loading it's still going and is in twenty-four hour use by Jimbo who's using Platoon Gohan to help him unload his bomber and Nintendo and several million Nintendo 64 games." S'rac explained.

"So I have to go out of the camp to meet Toby."

S'rac sweatdropped. "You leave the camp? Okay we all know how bad your sense of direction is. Is this a wise idea?" He questioned.

"I'll take my cell phone with me and give someone a call if I lose my way."

"Who has a cell phone out of us? We're just kids." BananaGirl remarked.

"I do." The "head" remarked. "I never go anywhere without it." (AN: Now there's your 2nd hint!)

"Sweet gimmie ya number and I'll give you call."

"Expect a call within two minutes of her leaving this camp." S'rac remarked. "She has the closest thing to a Ryoga complex I've ever seen."

J'dee nodded. "Ahhhh so true."

"Proud of the fact that you couldn't find your way out of a maze?" Jeril questioned.

"Hey I can find a way out of a maze. We have a maze I visit and I have competitions with boy to see who can get to the four corners of the maze and out again. I just have this problem of actually getting lost in suburbs, mazes are confined. Suburbs get bigger in to zones, then they get even bigger in to town's cities or villages, then countries even!"

"Okay, okay we get the point." Jeril sighed. "How about I send someone with you."

"Oh oh oh ME!!!" S'rac jumped about. "We can rescue Goku!"

"Uh hello I'm in platoon mirai."

"So you'd still rescue Yamcha."

"That I would."

"I'm not going! Skittles is here why would I want to leave?"

Quorky's shout could be heard from outside. "Stacey!!!!! Let me in!!"

"BAKA MONKEY!!! GET BACK HERE!!! YOU DARE STEAL FROM THE PRINCE OF SAIYANS!!!!"

BananaGirl got up and opened the door and Quorky rushed inside and handed her a small balled up piece of material. "Don't you ever endanger my life like that again!!"

BananaGirl held up he bottom half of Vegeta's spandex and grinned.

"Ooooh Quorky!! You're the bestest muse ever, not only do you inspire me you steal from skittles for me too!" She hugged him tightly causing the already out of breath monkey muse to loose whatever breath he had left from running away from Vegeta.

"He's going a strange blue color." Jeril noted

"Looks more like a purple to me." J'dee added. "Or Lavender." She nodded proud with her mirai reference.

"He went orange first though." S'rac defended.

"Noooo it's blue, just like skittles spandex, see Quorky matches the spandex." BananaGirl blinked as he passed out in her arms and she grinned. "Seeee I told you."

The "head" cleared their throat. "I believe he needs air or he'll go a pale blue."

BananaGirl placed Quorky on the table while proceeding to pull the spandex pants on over her baggy jeans and then tied them round her waist to stay up with what looked like a bandage or a lame attempt at a martial arts belt. "Ooooh Mousse is being air dropped in to me too right?"

"What no fair she gets Mousse?! What about me?!" Mabelle cried.

"I get a mousse plushie nah-nah!!" BananaGirl stuck her tongue out and went to run off only to successfully run straight in to the closed door.

Those at the table sweatdropped, as she lay there unconscious, in her newly claimed spandex pants and Vegeta shirt.

J'dee stood up. "Off to meet Toby then."

"AND RESCUE MIRAI!!!" WildThing shouted through the window.

"Of course… Mirai…" J'dee's eyes grew starry. "One of my first ever DBZ crushes…"

"After Vegeta of course." Jeril nodded.

J'dee rubbed the back of her neck. "Uh yeah. But I'm so in to malteasers now."

"Not again with the malteasers." S'rac sighed.

"And you wanted to come with me." J'dee remarked.

"Fine go get lost."

"Ryoga… c'mon." J'dee flicked her hair over her shoulder and walked out the door and her Ryoga plushie made a hole in the wall as he walked out.

S'rac slapped his forehead. "With their sense of direction and together I don't think we'll see them for a month."

BananaGirl sat up now conscious again. Quorky sighed and drummed his fingers as BananaGirl stayed sitting on him partly.

"Who cares skittles is in the camp now to put my plan in to action and remove him from Platoon Skittles barracks and in to my own. Come Quorky we have an avocado garden to attack." BananaGirl stood up ready to put a plan in to action.

Quorky sighed. "That's platoon Piccolo's garden more seriously that's Stina's garden. Who is a member of Platoon Piccolo, what has that got to do with drawing Veget- skittles out of the barracks created for him? Besides lat I saw he was chasing me to THESE barracks."

"You shall see. Come now Quorky we have a pumpkin to catch." BananaGirl left with Quorky sighing as he followed.

S'rac scratched his head. "I'm afraid to ask what she's going to do."

*****

Deathdroid blinked and looked at BananaGirl. "You want me to steal J'dee's skateboard muse?"

BananaGirl nodded. "Yes."

"Ummm okay. Is that it?"

"No."

"I should of known. What else?"

"Have you ever watched a pup named Scooby Doo?"

"I'm not answering that I don't want people to look at me weirdly."

"Hey I'm asking the question people are gunna look at me weirdly and that's the whole point I am BananaGirl for a reason."

"I'm still not gunna answer that."

"Fine Sleepy Hollow?"

"Ooooh now we're getting somewhere." Deathdroid grinned. "Can I drag people off to hell?"

"Ummm well Hell isn't an easy place to get to… how about J'dee's hidden skateboard ramp?"

"I dun know, hell did sound a lot cooler."

"How about we dress the skateboard ramp up to look like hell?"

"Or the same place Avril Lavigne did that complicated music clip."

"That will take some work to turn a skateboard ramp in to a mall…"

"……"

"What? Don't look at me like that."

"I was talking about the skateboard scene."

"Oh it's a skateboard ramp, not a park that means concrete mixers an ages of designs and time Quorky doesn't have to complete it."

"Quorky?"

"Yes do you really think I'd do manual labour like that? That's what muses are for."

"Hmmmmm…"

Deathdroid got clobbered with the handle of an axe with Khaos growling at him. "Don't even think about it."

"Damn."

Quorky growled as he dragged a red wagon up to them with a pumpkin in the wagon. "Here's your pumpkin."

"Oooh spifferiffic!! Good job Quorky. Time to set my plan in to action."

*****

Tobias growled as J'dee walked up. "What took you so long?"

"I got lost."

Tobias smacked his forehead. "Oiy… again?!"

"Well yeah."

"Anyway I want you to meet my muse Ndela. He's joining me in platoon Bulma."

"Why Bulma?"

"Why not?" Ndela replied.

"I know Toby's like um Veggie but to the point of stealing his woman. Um right."

"*ahem* I'm right here."

J'dee nodded. "Indeed you are Toby. I noticed don't worry."

"Look I have a bone to pick with you. What is this deal with turning me in to a Cell junior in Trading Places."

"Hey it was either a cell junior or Puar."

"What?!"

"Puar wasn't my idea!! It was Mabelle's!!"

Tobias narrowed his eyes. "Well since you surprised me like that. I'm going to surprise you now."

"Surprise me… uh kay."

Tobias cleared his throat. "You can come out now!"

"Who's coming out?"

The bushes began to rustle and J'dee frowned as TRF jumped out. "SURPRISE!!"

Tobias slapped his forehead. "Didn't you hear me correctly or something?"

TRF blinked. "I know I have great hair." She flicked it for emphasis.

"The eggs!! What about the eggs?!" Tobias exclaimed.

"Ooooh them." TRF grinned.

"Them? Wait you're not going to egg me are you?"

"No much worse… he was going to bi-sexual egg you." TRF nodded.

"NOT THE BI-SEXUAL EGGS!!!"

"You just ruined my plan…" Tobias groaned.

J'dee looked at Tobias. "You were going to egg me! And to think I liked eggs, but due to being asthmatic I'm not allowed them. But bi-sexual eggs how could you?!"

"So you're not a true Volkin!" TRF pointed at J'dee.

"Uh?" J'dee blinked.

Ndela sighed. "That's Vegan." He corrected.

"Vegeta? Where?" TRF looked round.

Tobias slapped his forehead. "Well looks like since we don't have bi-sexual eggs we're going to have to do this the old fashioned way."

J'dee blinked and grabbed her Ryoga plushie. "No you're not hurting Ryoga!!"

"I wasn't going to attack your plushie."

"That's what you say!! Quick this way Ryoga!!" J'dee dashed in to the shrubbery.

"She's going to be in there for a while I think." TRF noted.

"Then go find her."

"Why?"

"Otherwise I'll torture you-"

"Oooh torture me?! Neat!! I always wanted to know what that was like."

"By attacking Vegeta." Tobias finished.

"Veggie-kun! NOOO! I'll go!!" TRF dove in to the shrubbery.

Tobias rolled his eyes. "Ndela it's time to get our barracks set up."

*****

Deathdroid groaned and looked down at the headless horseman costume her wore with the exception of protective pads on his knees, shins, wrists and elbows and a helmet on his head. BananaGirl was grinning proudly at the costume.

"Oh yeah reeeeeeaaaaal scary." He drooled.

Quorky snickered. "Heh glad it's not me."

"Oh shut up you!!"

"Quorky get in to the pumpkin."

"What?! Why?"

"We need a voice of the pumpkin head. And your lines have to be these." She handed him a piece of paper.

"What happened to the candle in the pumpkin?"

"Dude it's daylight."

Deathdroid chuckled at Quorky's misfortune.

"Dude don't you laugh at my muse."

"Sorry… um say why are we attacking Platoon Piccolo?"

"Platoon Piccolo's garden this will draw them and green bean out and then we capture them in this fishing net!"

"What for?"

"With green bean out of the way and his platoon gone so they can't rescue him Vegeta can take on that mere human (AN: hint #3!! First one to guess becomes 3rd place) and become head of Boot Camp."

"I don't think it works that way." Deathdroid frowned.

"Who cares Vegeta will rule!!"

*****

J'dee scratched her head and she looked round. "I think I'm lost."

"We're lost!" TRF corrected. "So much for getting you back to Tobias so he won't hurt Vegeta." She added sourly.

"Ummm this is Vegeta here. Hello?"

"Hi to you too, but why are you saying hi to me?" TRF questioned.

"Nevermind."

"Uh so what way now?"

"Dudette oh so don't ask me for directions seriously."

"Why not?"

"I have no sense of direction whatsoever. Everyone should understand that by now."

They stopped as they heard a knowing sound. "Oh beavers!"

"I don't hear any water near by." J'dee frowned.

"Beavers deep in the forest then?"

"I think this is a little bit more than beavers."

"Dun-nanananananananananananananana BUNNIE POWA!!"

A bunny bounced out in front of them loaded with weapons.

"Dude that just sounds wrong." TRF remarked.

The bunny blinked. "Hey who's got the weapon here don't dis me?!"

"A talking bunny… say maybe we could make some money off her?"

"Hey HIM! I'm a HIM!!"

"Anything that's cute and with fur is a her to meh." J'dee remarked. "Except Psycho, he's 's a he and he's the most tubbiest kitty ever, but oh so kawaii-"

"SHUT UP!!! You're BOTH my prisoners!!"

"You're just one bunny what can you do?" TRF remarked.

J'dee frowned as an entire platoon of bunnies and bi-sexual eggs began surrounding them.

"Easter's been what's up with these weirdos?" TRF questioned.

"MOVE IT YOU TWO!!"

"Move what? I don't carry things you see I like having my back in good shape-"

*****

"AIR DROP FOR BANANAGIRL!!"

"Ooooh!!!" BananaGirl ran off leaving Quorky and Deathdroid standing dressed up as a headless Hessian skateboarder and Quorky as his "talking" pumpkin head.

"And I thought a Rabbi was degrading." Deathdroid sighed.

"Well at least you didn't get forced to steal Vegeta's spandex."

"Kinky." Deathdroid snickered.

"Oh shut up."

BananaGirl reached the drop zone on the outside of the camp and she watched as a wooden box was dropped from the sky a parachute slowing it's decent so not to damage the goods. She didn't notice Quorky and Deathdroid come up behind her as she pulled a crowbar out of thin air and began to open the wooden box and she smiled and pulled out the tape recorder, some walkie-talkies and what she had been waiting for most of all that cause Quorky and Deathdroid to sweatdrop. A Mousse plushie.

*****

"Name, Rank and Serial Number?" The Rock questioned them as they were taken in to the cells.

"From the J to the 'dee that's me J'dee!"

"TRF."

Mirai jumped up. "Oh no it's not her!!!"

"Oooh Trunksie!! HI!!!"

"RANK!!"

"Platoon Sergeant, both of us." J'dee replied.

"SERIAL NUMBER."

"Well I don't know TRF's but mine is 315315 1631619!"

"Fine get in there."

The rock opened the cell with Mirai and Teen Gohan in it.

"Aww I wanted a cell with Yamcha."

"Sorry that's for her."

"What Yamcha?! NO!!!!! GOOD-BYE CRUEL WORLD HOW I LOVED YOUR TORTURE!!" TRF cried out as she was pushed in to a cell with Yamcha. "Hey wait you didn't get my serial number."

"Fine what's your serial number?" The Rock sighed.

"Ummm 17."

"What?" Seventeen looked up from the cell he was in.

"Junanna!!! OOOH lock me up with him!! Please please please!!"

"Good-bye." The Rock left followed by the bi-sexual eggs and platoon of bunnies.

"So close yet so far…" TRF sighed.

17 frowned. "Thank Kami."

"Awww he spoke to me!!"

"Well you wanted to be tortured." J'dee remarked.

Gohan looked at her. "That was an awfully long serial number."

"I know I ripped it off."

"From who?"

"Change the number to their corresponding letter in the alphabet and you have my favourite cereal."

Mirai and Gohan sweatdropped.

"He said serial not cereal." Mirai remarked.

"MIRAI!!"

"You glomp me and I'll blast you!" Mirai threatened J'dee.

"Oooh he sounded just like Veggie-kun then." TRF drooled.

"She is seriously starting to scare me." Mirai remarked.

"Woooohooo! I scare someone!"

"Say Mirai can you have a shower for me?"

"Why don't you have your own shower?"

"No I want you to have a shower."

Mirai sweatdropped. "Why?"

"He doesn't smell." Goku remarked.

"Well I wanted to add a mirai shower scene in to this fic somewhere. Beside's DeathStorm isn't the only one who can drool over a naked butt scene with Mirai. I didn't pick this platoon for nothing."

Gohan sweatdropped. "Hentai."

"All in good reason." J'dee grinned.

TRF tilted her head to the side and looked at 17. "Oooh junana!! How about it?"

"No!"

"Drat. Can't blame a girl for trying."

"When I get out I'm giving this to you Gohan." Arty jumped up and down excitedly.

"What's this?" He asked eyeing her worriedly.

"It's a hug card." Goku nodded.

"You want a hug?"

"Yes please!!"

"Junana?"

"Will you leave me alone?!"

"Why?"

17 sighed.

Tanti kicked the ground of the cell and she blinked as a piece of the ground flew out and she spotted some loose ground. "Hey guys! I think I found something!"

They all rushed up to the ki bars of their cells and looked at Tanti as she began digging.

She then lifted something out of the ground and her eyes grew all starry. "PLUSHIE!!!" She began hugging it. "TamaTamaTamaTamaTama!!"

Stina sighed. "A lot of help that does."

"Hey someone get me out of here!!!" Bardock shouted. "She's drowning me!"

Sayuri continued to drool as she stared adoringly at Bardock. "Barrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhh-kun."

The whole lot of them except Sayuri sweatdropped.

"Okay that's it I want out!" Bulma growled. "Damn that Vegeta for going off and leaving me here! What did that idiot think he was doing?!

"I guess finally beating Goku at something seemed appealing." J'dee remarked.

"Oh what's he's planning on beating me at?"

"He has Kakarott. He got to the Boot Camp before you." Tanti remarked.

"Well I'm sure they'll come for us."

J'dee nodded. "Next chapter! And as boy always says in his little Chris Rock impersonation from Friday… 'and I know this… man'…"

"And how do you know this?" Chibi Trunks asked crossing his arms.

"Cause she's the author Trunks…" Chibi Goten replied.

"Damn straight I am!"

"TANTI PREPEAR TO MEET YOUR MAKER!!!"

Tanti looked up as Shinieblue crashed through the roof cackling evilly followed by S'rac Washu and Aslin.

"Platoon Goku to the rescue!!" S'rac announced.

"Isn't it all awesome and stuff just like the real Goku!" Asilin grinned.

Washu's eyes became all starry. "Goku-kun!!" She ran up to the cell where Arty and Goku were locked behind. "Oh so not fair Arty!"

Arty held up a hug card and grinned. "I got to hug him!!"

Washu sniffled. "Awww no fair!"

Tanti looked at Shinieblue. "You again?"

"I am not Shinieblue I am SB! Bwha-hahahaha and you shall perish Vegeta fan!"

S'rac looked round. "Speaking of Vegeta fans I thought Chinow actually agreed to help us on this one. Where'd she get to?"

*****

Vegeta trudged through the camp.

"I don't believe this… I should of stayed in the cell instead of putting up with this. The prince of saiyans should not be demeaned in this way." Vegeta grumbled.

He had Jeril latched on to his leg, VegetaGoku his arm, Diamond sky his other leg and Chinow on to his other arm.

"Vegeta fans. Hmph." Piccolo turned round in a huff and walked back in to the barracks of platoon Piccolo.

BananaGirl rubbed her hands and cackled. "Soon green bean you will be out of the way and Vegeta will rule all!!!"

*CONK*

BananaGirl sweatdropped as a headless body walked in to the post behind her.

"Deathdroid you ruined my moment I was about to insert and evil cackle."

"Moh tmrph rmering mphis!" Deathdroid muffled.

"Huh?" BananaGirl blinked.

"Try pulling the neck piece down." Quorky remarked from inside the pumpkin.

Deathdroid pulled the neckpiece down and took in a deep breath of air. "I said you try wearing this." He repeated. "I can't see a thing."

"Then poke eyeholes." BananaGirl remarked.

"Who ever heard of a headless Hessian skateboarder anyway?"

"Hey quit complaining Hessian sounds better than Hispanic."

"Do you even know what a Hessian is?" Deathdroid remarked.

"I'm English I know…"

"Then what is a Hessian?"

"Hey why should I tell you Scot boy."

"Hessian is a German troop Hessian comes from the word Hesse, it originated back in-"

"Shut up." BananaGirl and Deathdroid remarked in unison to the know it all muse.

"Fine see if I educate you two buffoons anymore."

"Anyway as I was saying." Deathdroid continued. "If I poke eye holes in the neck it ruins the effect of being headless, c'mon what headless Hessian do you know of with eyes in his neck?"

"Well I don't know many Hessians."

"You don't know any considering you didn't' even know what one was till I told you both." Quorky interrupted.

BananaGirl watched the Vegeta fans over Vegeta and she growled. "Soon Skittles will be all mine…"

"So do you want to insert that evil cackle now?" Deathdroid asked.

"I don't see why not."

"Cool can I join in? It sounds better when there's more than one making an evil cackle."

"Feel free. One the count of three…"

Quorky sweatdropped. "I don't believe this…"

"One…"

"Two…"

"Three…"

"Mwha-hahahahahahahahahahaha!"

*****

To Be Continued…

R & R please. Comments opinions are much appreciated….

~J'dee