Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Dude Looks Like A Lady ❯ Chapter Fifty-Four ( Chapter 54 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Innocence is Futile
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Dude Looks Like A Lady
By Raven Pan and Alison Sky
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Chapter Fifty-Four
March 15, 799 Thursday
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Trunks muttered to himself, before finally just turning off the game, and television, and going to lay on the couch. He just wasn't up for wearing himself out - damn couch was uncomfortable - and he was just too tired.

"Trunks?" Goten asked, standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

He lifted his arm from over his eyes and looked down the hall at Goten, "Hm?"

"Are you sure you don't want the bed tonight?" he asked softly.

"Nah, I'm fine Goten - you take it."

"But you haven't slept on it for a month... that couch has to be doing a number on your back..."

He was right... but Trunks was too proud to admit it. "I'll be fine, Chibi."

Goten wrapped his arms around himself. "Please."

Trunks sat up, running a hand through his hair. "Why? You can't sleep on the couch, you're barely able to walk the next day any time that you do."

"I'll survive... I just... well, I just don't want you to think you can't have the bed...."

"Goten, you need to be able to walk - I'll be fine - I have been for a while, that's not going to change," he chuckled.

"Fine..." Goten said softly, then walked to the kitchen. He rustled around for a glass, then opened the fridge, looking for something to drink.

Trunks sighed, resting his head in his hands. Why were they strangers?

Getting a drink, Goten sat at the table, staring at the contents, his mind wandering.

Trunks, not having really talked to Goten since Goten'd shown up drunk, finally stood and went to stand in the doorway to the kitchen. "Hey Chibi."

Goten looked up and smiled a bit. "Hey."

"Haven't seen you for a bit, you find a job yet?"

"No... I've looked everywhere... about ready to give up." Goten said softly.

"Let me call around and see if I can find an opening, it's not cheating," Trunks offered once again.

Goten just shrugged, looking back into his milk.

"I'll do first thing tomorrow," he promised, still standing in the doorway.


"I wanna help you, Goten - if you want to work, I'll do what I can to help you find a job. If you don't want to work and be a stay at home dad, that's cool too, you know I make more than enough to take care of the lot of us."

"What I want, you won't give me," Goten said very softly, staring down at his hands.

Trunks remained silent, blinking in confusion.

Goten stood up. "Trunks, close your eyes." he asked, walking closer.

"Why?" Trunks looked at Goten suspiciously.

"Just trust me," Goten's eyes begged.

"Okay," Trunks nodded and closed his eyes, still leaning in the doorframe.

"Remember when I was a girl? You remember what I looked like?"

"Yeah."

"Remember what I felt like?"

"...Yeah...?"

"Focus on that... tell me..." Goten asked, walking closer.

Trunks shrugged - not sure what Goten was getting at. "Well. Soft, real soft. Gentle...."

"And you liked it, right?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," Trunks nodded his eyes still closed, his voice quiet. "I liked it a lot."

"What did you like the most?"

"Dunno... just... just everything."

"What do you miss the most?" Goten asked, standing right in front of Trunks, biting his lip.

"Cuddling... Kissing," Trunks seemed sad, his eyes still obediently closed.

"Like this?" Goten asked, then placed one hand gently over Trunks's eyes, and his lips caressed Trunks's gently, like when he had been a female... tentative, soft... loving.

The soft speaking had put Trunks into another place of his mind, and he responded on instinct, kissing back carefully, gently the woman he thought was kissing him as he let out a soft moan. He wasn't sure if this was all in his head, or not.

Goten closed his eyes and kissed Trunks back, a bit more desperately, needing.

And Trunks responded, just as needy. He went to bring his hand up to cradle her head....

He opened his eyes wide, and pulled back, pushing Goten away, "What the hell?!" He looked panicked.

Goten looked at Trunks, fear and desperation in his eyes.

"Goten, I.. we..." he shook his head, backing away. "I told... told you we can't. Why'd you trick me like that?" his eyes were confused, almost scared.

"I just want to show you that it's still me, no matter what I look like... Did my kiss feel ANY different?" he asked, trying desperately to make a point.

"Well, no, but... it... Goten I'm not gay - I can't do that with you like this, it's wrong. You gotta let it go, man, things are... things are different now."

"It's only until the dragonballs come back, Trunks! Please... I can't be without you!" he pleaded.

"I'm still here! I'm still your best friend, but I'm not your lover anymore Goten, and I haven't been your wife for over a year - we can't do this, it's wrong, it'll mess up everything!" Trunks pleaded back.

"Just tell me exactly what it will mess up, Trunks! You act like the whole world will come to an end!" Goten stated.

Trunks jammed a hand through his hair. "Damnit Goten, you know I'd do anything in my power for you - but I can't do this. I can't become Gay, Goten, I'm. Not. Like. That!"

"WHY NOT?!" Goten shouted. "It's only until we get the Dragonballs Trunks! Being gay isn't the end of the world!"

"To me, it IS!" Trunks shouted back, turning his back on Goten and stalking for the door.

"Trunks please!" Goten chased after him, grabbing his arm. "Please don't shut me out like this..."

Trunks stopped, and looked up at Goten as he forced himself to calm. "I'm not shutting you out, Goten. But I'm not going to change either," he said seriously.

"You already have..." Goten stated. "You've turned back into that cold heartless person you were before you were changed into a girl."

"That's not true, but you can tell yourself whatever you want to, about me - if it'll stop you from trying to make me... to make me like that. You've got to put that behind you - things are different now."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Goten asked, his eyes filled with tears.

"I'm not doing anything to you, Chibi - you're doing it to yourself."
"You're shutting me out, Trunks..." Goten said softly.

"No I'm not, I'm being realistic. You're telling yourself things that aren't true. That's not healthy," Trunks said softly.

"I don't care... Trunks I love you!" Goten cried out.

"Well I don't love you!" Trunks responded. He ignored the shocked and hurt look on Goten's face. "I can't love you. Not just because we're both guys, not even if you were a girl and I the guy, or if I was a girl and you were the guy. I can't love, Goten. Not you, or anyone else, ever - I made a vow not to fall in love, and I've kept it. I don't love you Goten. I care a lot about you, more than anyone! You're my best friend, and I can't stand the thought of living without you. But. I can't love you. Don't ask for something I'm incapable of giving you!"

Goten took a step back, stunned. He bit his lip, his body trembling a bit. "Trunks please..." he whispered, coughing a bit.

"I'm sorry I can't give you what you want, Goten. But I can't give you something I don't believe even exists," he said softly. Wanting Goten to understand, hating that he had to speak so bluntly. It was the only way he could think to get through to Goten.

"Why..?" was all Goten was able to ask.

"Goten..." Trunks sighed, running a hand through his hair in agitation. "It may exist for you, but it doesn't for me. Like I said, I would willingly give you everything I have, even my life if I had to - but I can't give you something I don't have."

"But you did have it, Trunks... I saw it in your eyes everyday... you just didn't know it..." Goten said softly.

"Goten, I don't know what you were seeing," Trunks sighed. "Listen, the way I feel about you has not changed."

"Then why are you doing this?" Goten pleaded.

"Doing what?!" Trunks asked, exhasperated. "You're not making any sense, Goten!"

Goten just lowered his head, his shoulders slumping low. "Forget it," he whispered, then turned defeatedly back to the bedroom.

Trunks sighed, watching him go - now even more confused than ever.

Goten closed the door to the bedroom, then leaned against it and started to cry.

And Trunks heard it. Part of him wanted to go there and tell Goten it was going to be fine.... but a deeper part told him he'd better just let things be - they'd work out on their own, and he didn't need to be giving Goten any false hopes for something that didn't exist.

He stood there for a while, before going to lie on the couch, pulling the afghan over him as he turned his back to the open, his face to the couchback, a silent tear running down his cheek.

His sobs led to coughs and soon Goten fell into a fitful sleep, curled up in a ball on the bed, not understanding why no one could ever love him.

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