Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Elvis Returns! ❯ Poor Piccolo... ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Renee the Rabid Squirrel 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 11.14.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 252 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 11.14.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 252 | Status: Completed
Chapter 6
A/N: Hope you guys are liking the story so far - I know, I'm dragging it out a long while. You'll just have to keep reading and see how long it goes. Aren't I cruel? Heehee...well, anyways, usual disclaimers go, and I don't own Garfield, so on and so forth. On with the story!!
*thoughts*
~*~*~*~*~
"So, how do you like it?"
"DEAR KAMI LET ME DIE NOW!" Yamucha started bawling at the top of his lungs like a 4-year-old girl. Micheal, desperately trying not to drown in the tears, put on a mocking frown.
"Oh, come now. It can't be all that bad." Yamucha had foundation, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, rouge, sparkles... in short, he now looked like a drag queen.
"Oh, and we have another thing for you." snickered Puar evilly. The blue cat held up a long, black wig that had straight, womanly hair, almost what Chi-Chi's hair would look like if she let it grow another 3 feet and didn't tie it up.
Yamucha stood speechless as Kanimi shaved his head bald, then placed the wig on his, or rather 'her' head. "By the way, your name is no longer Yamucha."
"What?"
"Of course not! We don't want anyone to recognize you... and you need a woman's name." Yamucha was almost ready to cry again.
"Can someone else besides you pick the name at least?"
"Hmm..." Puar thought for a moment. "Alright. Leader!"
"Yes, Puar?"
"Pick a name for this ingrate."
"Why of course..." the orange-haired cat snickered evilly. "How about Penelope! That would really suit her."
"NOOO!" screamed Yamucha.
"How nice... you're in character already... screaming like a girl and all. You know what, that name isn't any good. Yolanda would be much more suited to you."
Puar smiled like she agreed. "Yes, Yolanda is perfect." Yamucha, or rather, Yolanda stood in horror as Puar said: "Now, as for what you're going to do in this getup..."
~*~*~*~
"WOMAN! WHAT THE HELL IS IT THAT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME! SPEAK NOW OR
SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!"
"Vegeta, if you touch me or the baby I swear to god I'll kick your..." *Oh shit! I just told him! Shit, shit shit... dammit!*
Vegeta stood in silence for 2 whole minutes as Bulma became so nervous she started to shake.
"YES!" Vegeta jumped so high into the air that Bulma was afraid he was going to fly right through the roof. She stood there with a puzzled expression on her face that turned into a scream as Vegeta lifted her into the air. "Haha! There shall be an heir to the throne of Vegetasei!
Praise Kami!"
"Put me down!"
"And what will you do if I don't?"
"I'll get an abortion."
"You can't possibly get an abortion while I'm holding you up in the air." said the arrogant saiyan with a smirk. "I'm right, you know."
"Shut up! You're not right!"
"Yes I am."
"No you're not! I can't lose!"
"Admit it, woman. You just lost an argument to the prince of saiyans."
"NO I DID NOT!" At this, Vegeta just laughed his signature laugh and walked out of the room. *Ooh, that Vegeta... he makes me so mad... dammit, why does he have to be right all the time? I always got my way with Yamucha... I guess that's why I got bored. I wonder what he's doing now that I dumped him? Probably mourning over his loss or drinking to the point of passing out. I'm gonna have to thank him for hooking me up with Vegeta... nah. He doesn't deserve it.*
What Bulma didn't know was that her ex was too busy avoiding a cattle prod to worry about her. "Ow! Watch where you point that thing, Puar!"
"Shut up and get a move on! Keep your ki down... do you WANT them to know it's you?"
"Who... do I want who to know... what are you guys gonna make me do?"
All the cats suddenly broke out into evil laughter, scaring 'Yolanda' so badly she started to bite her newly manicured nails.
"Stop that. You're ruining my artwork." complained Micheal.
"Now. The first thing you are going to do, Yolanda, is flirt with a few men."
"But I'm not gay!"
"You're a woman now, and besides, no one believes you on that one."
'Yolanda', too dumbfounded to think of anything, shut up and let Puar continue.
"Aha! There's one now... go over and give it your best shot." 'Yolanda' looked around the bend and saw none other than Piccolo using multi-form and sparring with himself.
"NO!... Owee! Fine I'll go... just stop poking me!" As 'Yolanda' walked very slowly over to where Piccolo was training, a rather fat cat who was orange with black stripes proceeded to start videotaping the entire thing.
"Hey Garfield?"
"Yeah boss?"
"Don't screw up this tape... I know many people who will pay big bucks for everything this idiot is about to do."
"Sure thing." Garfield kept the video camera rolling while eating a 30-foot sub.
"Hey there, big guy."
Piccolo stopped his training and pulled himself together to find a long, raven-haired muscular girl with large breasts. She also wore a rather slutty dress with just enough makeup to put her on that fine line between 70's caked and Oh my Kami I think I'm going to be sick."Er... hey... what do you want?"
The woman sauntered closer towards Piccolo, then fell on her high heeled shoes. It took all the effort the Namek had not to laugh out loud as she picked herself up.
"I've heard from the other girls that you're a real stud - and you know what us ladies want... is this true?" the woman all of a sudden became very close to Piccolo.
"Um, what ladies? You know, I really think I should go - have to meet with my friend Gohan - I still have to meditate... goodbye!" A rather spooked Piccolo sped off into the almost evening sky. 'Yolanda' sat on the ground and started screaming out to no one in particular.
"MY LIFE IS RUINED FOREVER! I FLIRTED WITH A NAMEK!" She sobbed and sniffled, then continued shrieking. "PICCOLO DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A FRIGGIN SEX! WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL TO MEEEEEEEEE??!!!" 'Yolanda' kept sobbing and crying.
"You getting this, Garfield?"
"Sure thing, Puar." The fat tabby kept focussing in on the tortured soul who once was Yamucha while munching on a 50 foot pizza. Puar went over to the crying human.
"Puar... I thought... we were friends... boohoohoohoooo!!!" 'Yolanda' kept crying until Puar delivered a good smack to her head. "OW! What was that for?"
"Pull yourself together... you have to go and visit a few more people until my revenge is complete. You're smearing all your makeup. Micheal! Fix 'her' face, will ya?"
"Of course, it would be my pleasure." 'Yolanda' got her face fixed, then became rather pale when 'she' heard who was the next person to be flirted with.
"NOOO! Not him! Please Kami not him! NOOOOO!!" 'Yolanda' suddenly was jabbed in the ass with the cattle prod. "EEEOOW! Fine, I'll go." *Dammit. Why him? I mean, even Piccolo was better than this guy!*
Who is to be the next victim of Yamucha's slutty flirtations? How much more can Garfield eat before he will explode? Will Yamucha go insane and destroy the entire IGOTC? You'll have to read the next chapter! Reviews are always welcome, good or bad. Sorry this took so long, I was at my dad's and I can't take my stories with me. Read on and stay cool, y'all.
A/N: Hope you guys are liking the story so far - I know, I'm dragging it out a long while. You'll just have to keep reading and see how long it goes. Aren't I cruel? Heehee...well, anyways, usual disclaimers go, and I don't own Garfield, so on and so forth. On with the story!!
*thoughts*
~*~*~*~*~
"So, how do you like it?"
"DEAR KAMI LET ME DIE NOW!" Yamucha started bawling at the top of his lungs like a 4-year-old girl. Micheal, desperately trying not to drown in the tears, put on a mocking frown.
"Oh, come now. It can't be all that bad." Yamucha had foundation, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, rouge, sparkles... in short, he now looked like a drag queen.
"Oh, and we have another thing for you." snickered Puar evilly. The blue cat held up a long, black wig that had straight, womanly hair, almost what Chi-Chi's hair would look like if she let it grow another 3 feet and didn't tie it up.
Yamucha stood speechless as Kanimi shaved his head bald, then placed the wig on his, or rather 'her' head. "By the way, your name is no longer Yamucha."
"What?"
"Of course not! We don't want anyone to recognize you... and you need a woman's name." Yamucha was almost ready to cry again.
"Can someone else besides you pick the name at least?"
"Hmm..." Puar thought for a moment. "Alright. Leader!"
"Yes, Puar?"
"Pick a name for this ingrate."
"Why of course..." the orange-haired cat snickered evilly. "How about Penelope! That would really suit her."
"NOOO!" screamed Yamucha.
"How nice... you're in character already... screaming like a girl and all. You know what, that name isn't any good. Yolanda would be much more suited to you."
Puar smiled like she agreed. "Yes, Yolanda is perfect." Yamucha, or rather, Yolanda stood in horror as Puar said: "Now, as for what you're going to do in this getup..."
~*~*~*~
"WOMAN! WHAT THE HELL IS IT THAT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME! SPEAK NOW OR
SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!"
"Vegeta, if you touch me or the baby I swear to god I'll kick your..." *Oh shit! I just told him! Shit, shit shit... dammit!*
Vegeta stood in silence for 2 whole minutes as Bulma became so nervous she started to shake.
"YES!" Vegeta jumped so high into the air that Bulma was afraid he was going to fly right through the roof. She stood there with a puzzled expression on her face that turned into a scream as Vegeta lifted her into the air. "Haha! There shall be an heir to the throne of Vegetasei!
Praise Kami!"
"Put me down!"
"And what will you do if I don't?"
"I'll get an abortion."
"You can't possibly get an abortion while I'm holding you up in the air." said the arrogant saiyan with a smirk. "I'm right, you know."
"Shut up! You're not right!"
"Yes I am."
"No you're not! I can't lose!"
"Admit it, woman. You just lost an argument to the prince of saiyans."
"NO I DID NOT!" At this, Vegeta just laughed his signature laugh and walked out of the room. *Ooh, that Vegeta... he makes me so mad... dammit, why does he have to be right all the time? I always got my way with Yamucha... I guess that's why I got bored. I wonder what he's doing now that I dumped him? Probably mourning over his loss or drinking to the point of passing out. I'm gonna have to thank him for hooking me up with Vegeta... nah. He doesn't deserve it.*
What Bulma didn't know was that her ex was too busy avoiding a cattle prod to worry about her. "Ow! Watch where you point that thing, Puar!"
"Shut up and get a move on! Keep your ki down... do you WANT them to know it's you?"
"Who... do I want who to know... what are you guys gonna make me do?"
All the cats suddenly broke out into evil laughter, scaring 'Yolanda' so badly she started to bite her newly manicured nails.
"Stop that. You're ruining my artwork." complained Micheal.
"Now. The first thing you are going to do, Yolanda, is flirt with a few men."
"But I'm not gay!"
"You're a woman now, and besides, no one believes you on that one."
'Yolanda', too dumbfounded to think of anything, shut up and let Puar continue.
"Aha! There's one now... go over and give it your best shot." 'Yolanda' looked around the bend and saw none other than Piccolo using multi-form and sparring with himself.
"NO!... Owee! Fine I'll go... just stop poking me!" As 'Yolanda' walked very slowly over to where Piccolo was training, a rather fat cat who was orange with black stripes proceeded to start videotaping the entire thing.
"Hey Garfield?"
"Yeah boss?"
"Don't screw up this tape... I know many people who will pay big bucks for everything this idiot is about to do."
"Sure thing." Garfield kept the video camera rolling while eating a 30-foot sub.
"Hey there, big guy."
Piccolo stopped his training and pulled himself together to find a long, raven-haired muscular girl with large breasts. She also wore a rather slutty dress with just enough makeup to put her on that fine line between 70's caked and Oh my Kami I think I'm going to be sick."Er... hey... what do you want?"
The woman sauntered closer towards Piccolo, then fell on her high heeled shoes. It took all the effort the Namek had not to laugh out loud as she picked herself up.
"I've heard from the other girls that you're a real stud - and you know what us ladies want... is this true?" the woman all of a sudden became very close to Piccolo.
"Um, what ladies? You know, I really think I should go - have to meet with my friend Gohan - I still have to meditate... goodbye!" A rather spooked Piccolo sped off into the almost evening sky. 'Yolanda' sat on the ground and started screaming out to no one in particular.
"MY LIFE IS RUINED FOREVER! I FLIRTED WITH A NAMEK!" She sobbed and sniffled, then continued shrieking. "PICCOLO DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A FRIGGIN SEX! WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL TO MEEEEEEEEE??!!!" 'Yolanda' kept sobbing and crying.
"You getting this, Garfield?"
"Sure thing, Puar." The fat tabby kept focussing in on the tortured soul who once was Yamucha while munching on a 50 foot pizza. Puar went over to the crying human.
"Puar... I thought... we were friends... boohoohoohoooo!!!" 'Yolanda' kept crying until Puar delivered a good smack to her head. "OW! What was that for?"
"Pull yourself together... you have to go and visit a few more people until my revenge is complete. You're smearing all your makeup. Micheal! Fix 'her' face, will ya?"
"Of course, it would be my pleasure." 'Yolanda' got her face fixed, then became rather pale when 'she' heard who was the next person to be flirted with.
"NOOO! Not him! Please Kami not him! NOOOOO!!" 'Yolanda' suddenly was jabbed in the ass with the cattle prod. "EEEOOW! Fine, I'll go." *Dammit. Why him? I mean, even Piccolo was better than this guy!*
Who is to be the next victim of Yamucha's slutty flirtations? How much more can Garfield eat before he will explode? Will Yamucha go insane and destroy the entire IGOTC? You'll have to read the next chapter! Reviews are always welcome, good or bad. Sorry this took so long, I was at my dad's and I can't take my stories with me. Read on and stay cool, y'all.