Falling In Love A Second Time

Chapter 8 - You're Not Him

Vegeta had decided to meditate after he felt Bulma's departure from Capsule Corporation. Whenever his temper is verging on planetary destruction, he finds it more beneficial for the safety of those around him to try and release his anger in the more healthy, not to mention less violent, fashion of meditation. His focus of course was very narrowed. Thoughts of his interlude with Bulma earlier were still fresh in his mind. How near he had come to having her body against his while his tongue ravaged her sweet tasting mouth. He stopped himself from imagining other parts of her that he would love to ravage with his tongue, he did not feel like taking yet another shower.

Last night had been perhaps the most difficult for him since the accident. Having her sleeping under the same roof as him, fully conscious and capable, and yet not desiring him, wreaked havoc with his mind. The only small consolation he felt was in seeing her blatant physical reaction to him after he had caught her earlier. She had insulted him for saving her now three times, and he had threatened not to do it a fourth, but he knew no matter what circumstances their relationship was in, he would always be there to catch her when she falls. That was a responsibility he willingly accepted when he bonded to her, and one he would fulfill until the end of his days.

Their bond; now there was a subject he was hesitant to think about, knowing the pain such memories would arouse. The decay of their bond, though not intentional, was becoming more of a burden to deal with everyday. The constant shift of her emotions towards him, from fear to hate, to acceptance to trust to fear again, to detachment to indifference to hate again; it was too much for him to bear. He longed for the days when the only emotion she felt when she thought of him was love, genuine, impenetrable love. Or at least he had thought it was impenetrable. Now he worried that the love that had taken them so long to develop would now be nothing more than a lost memory to them.

If she had awakened sooner, before her side of the bond had become too detached, he could have easily used his Saiya-jin mental abilities to reconnect their souls. To revitalize her feelings, if not her memories, she could know what they shared, and how deeply they needed each other. But that was not a possibility right now. She was too far lost from him to breach her mind without complications right now. She was still too fragile.

Taking one last deep breath, Vegeta rose from his seated position and decided to try something more physical, but still less violent, to work out his stress. Straightening himself out, he prepared himself to perform some katas, which he completed several flawlessly before he felt his heart starting to pound.

'I'm not expending that much energy, where the hell is this coming from?' He halted his movements as his slipped his hand over his chest in an attempt to focus on what was causing his palpitations. 'Bulma,' his mind quickly registered, as he realized the extra emotions pounding in his chest were not his. 'What's wrong?' he asked, knowing in her current condition she would not reply to him. Closing his eyes he tried to focus more directly on where her sudden emotional pain was coming from.

Concentrating carefully, he began to feel her emotions more specifically. Shock, disbelief, anguish, despair, loneliness, and finally emptiness; he could feel it all, but he couldn't understand what was causing it.

Opening his eyes, Vegeta decided not to stay in isolation playing guessing games any longer. His mate was in pain; whether physical or mental it didn't matter. It was his responsibility to cure whatever she is suffering, and make certain what or whoever caused it pays for her distress.

Walking towards the GR washroom to quickly change out of his training attire, Vegeta jerked to an abrupt stop before making it to his destination. 'No,' was all he thought before dropping to his knees in despair as his bond suddenly felt as though he had just been assaulted with an intense chi blast. 'Bulma, no, not this…' was the last thought to cross the prince's mind before his body fell limp onto the cold gravity room floor as the bliss of unconsciousness consumed his being.

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It hadn't taken Bulma as long as she had worried it would to arrive at the restaurant to meet Yamcha. As soon as she entered she could see her date sitting waiting for her. 'Well this is already a change; he's usually the one standing me up,' Bulma thought with a devilish smile, before walking gracefully over to him. "Yamcha," she whispered his name, grabbing his attention immediately.

"Wow," Yamcha's jaw visibly dropped. "You look incredible," he admitted honestly, as he rose from his seat and welcomingly accepted her into his arms for a gentle hug. He took a long breath, filling his lungs with the scent of her hair as he had done so many times in what was beginning to feel like ages ago. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming." He pulled away from her embrace to help her remove her coat. Walking around the table he placed it on the back of her chair, gentlemanly offering her seat.

"Thank you." Bulma blushed, she wasn't quite used to this much attention, especially from Yamcha. "I just had a conversation with Trunks that held me up a bit," Bulma causally mentioned, as Yamcha returned to his seat.

"Anything wrong?" Yamcha was quick to ask; strange, how even now he secretly reveled in hearing about any trouble in paradise.

"No, not really. He was just sort of surprised I was going out with you. I guess he just isn't comfortable with his mother dating. Not that that's terribly surprising, but… Oh, what am I rambling on about? I came here to get away from all of the bizarreness of my home life, right?"

"Right," Yamcha excitedly agreed. The pair was then approached by their waiter, who took their food and drink orders. The restaurant had been one the two had frequently gone to, when they were still an item; both knew exactly what their favorite dishes were without even glancing at the menu.

"Just like old times," Yamcha chuckled as the waiter left.

"They don't seem that old to me," Bulma said with a light frown, before her mind drifted to an inevitable question. "So what happened between us? Why did we break up?"

Yamcha sighed as his demeanor visibly shrunk when asked the question. In a word he could some up all the reasons for their problems, Vegeta; but she wasn't ready to hear that now, she unfortunately never was. "We had problems that couldn't be worked out." He donated the highly abridged version of the events.

"Well, what kind of problems?" Bulma defiantly wanted more of an explanation than that.

"Well," Yamcha began rather unsure of himself, "I had an affair, and then you sort of had one in retaliation, but you became pregnant, and there was no going back for us after that."

"Trunks," she whispered, shocked that it had been her son that destroyed what they had. "So that's it? I just went and gave my body to some guy to get back at you, and I ended up getting pregnant as a result?!" Yamcha remained silent; Bulma took this as a confirmation of the truth. It suddenly all made sense, why nobody spoke about Trunks' father, why she was a single mother, and why she felt so empty. "I don't believe I would do something so stupid."

"You wouldn't," Yamcha tried to shift the blame to where he believed it was more deserving. "Trunks' father wasn't exactly the most honorable of men. He took advantage of the emotional state you were in, and then left you after Trunks was born. He was too selfish to pay you any consideration."

"I don't believe this," Bulma felt tears forming in the back of her eyes. This was worse than she had ever imagined.

"Bulma," Yamcha reached out a comforting hand, Bulma shied away from it however; she shook her head.

"Thank you for being so honest with me, but if you don't mind I think I'd rather just skip the dinner." Bulma wiped her eyes before rising to pull her coat back on.

"But Bulma, you just got here." Yamcha tried to stop her. "Please, jut sit back down, we can talk about this--"

"No," Bulma shook her head, "I don't really want to talk about it… This is one of those things I'd rather just go home and bury my face in my pillow and cry about." She blew past him and headed right outside.

"Bulma!" Yamcha followed her, not stopping her until they were in the middle of the parking lot. "Bulma, please listen to me. I didn't want to upset you, but you asked for the truth and--"

"Yamcha, I'm not mad at you." She tried to calm herself. "I'm really grateful that you were willing to tell me the truth, but now I have to deal with this on my own."

"But, you don't have to," Yamcha maintained his grip on her arm. "Please, Bulma, come back inside with me, we can talk about this."

"Yamcha, I--"

"I won't take no for an answer on this Bulma. Your doctor said no stress, and I clearly broke that prescription by telling you this, now I have to make sure you calm yourself down. So please, come back inside with me."

"All right, you win," Bulma conceded begrudgingly. "But only if I get a straight answer from you about something."

"Ok," Yamcha was more than willing to answer anything that would get her to do as he asked. "Shoot."

Bulma took a long breath before asking, "I guess I was just thinking, as you were giving me this impassioned speech to get me to come inside, if… Well, why, if all I had was a meaningless affair, was there no going back for us? I don't know, call me crazy, but I still get the distinct impression that you care for me, so why didn't we ever try to work past what happened, unless… unless you didn't love me anymore. Was that it?" She wasn't entirely sure why, but she wanted to know the answer nonetheless. It was so hard to see a man she had loved so deeply telling her that they could never be, when it seemed more so to her as a simple missed opportunity.

Yamcha was completely taken a back by the question. He knew the real reason they could never be together was the same reason they were separated in the first place. But, right now that didn't seem to matter. Bulma didn't remember Vegeta, or anything that he had forced to happen between them. Right now all Bulma knew was what she felt for him, her pure feelings, uncorrupted by Vegeta. Looking into those deep sapphire eyes, Yamcha suddenly could feel the same emotions he had so many years ago. Lifting his hand to her cheek, Yamcha gently ran his thumb over her lips, a sign of intimacy he had frequently used with the woman before him, so long ago. "I never stopped loving you, Bulma."

Bulma felt her heart leap within her chest. Love, a word that sent chills down her spine. It was bizarre, since the moment she had awakened from her coma she had been left in want of that emotion. An emptiness within her soul cried for the intimacy that can only exist between two lovers. Now hearing his confession, she suddenly felt a man she could so easily remember her love for was offering to fill that void. He was, after all, the true reason she had gone to Namek in the first place, to bring back her departed sweetheart, a man she had dreamed of marrying. So why, after so many years, could that same love not be rekindled? Maybe her accident was some sort of divine intervention to give her the happiness she had apparently been denied for so many years.

Yamcha watched as Bulma's mind picked apart his answer ever so meticulously. He had come to understand the neurotic woman so well in the years they had spent together. Moving closer to her, he wanted to help clear any doubts her mind was forming. With an honest smile, Yamcha slowly moved his lips towards hers until they finally made contact. Tightening their embrace, he eliminated any space between them. He had been without her for so long he had almost forgotten how amazing it could feel to have her in his arms. It was a moment he couldn't possibly let pass.

Bulma couldn't prevent the moan that escaped her lips as she felt her body being enveloped by his warmth. This, she remembered. His touch, his taste, his embrace; all of it was a part of her. It felt like just months ago that she had given him a similarly impassioned kiss, to wish him luck against the Saiya-jins. She wanted to melt into him as she did then, forgetting about anything but them, but how could she, when so much plagued her thoughts. She had just been told the devastating truth of her affair and unplanned conception of her son. As much as she wanted the release Yamcha was offering her, she wasn't ready for it.

Yamcha could feel Bulma's hesitation, and wanted to rectify that immediately. Slipping his hands down to intertwine with hers, he broke from her unresponsive kiss and instead moved to a more chaste affection by bringing her hands up to his mouth to gently caressing them with his fingers and tender lips. He heard another moan escape her lips and thought he had brought himself to victory, but he was quickly proven wrong when the lustful look Bulma had been developing turned numb, as her mind seemed to completely leave Yamcha's attentions.

~*~

"Can I have my hands back now?"

"Are you sure you want them back?" he whispered with a slight smirk.

She was about to give him a very solid 'no' when she began to feel his thumbs stroking the insides of her palms. Normally she would have thought nothing of such an innocent motion, but his caresses were moving to such a sensual rhythm, she felt strangely weakened. Her body unconsciously drifted towards him as she suddenly felt he held some power over her that she found oddly irresistible.

"No answer?" he whispered in a purring manner.

She breathed heavily. "I want my hands back."

"You're not very convincing," he whispered, as he separated her hands and then brought both towards his lips. He extended his tongue slowly and gently ran the tip over one wrist, and then the other.

She felt herself shake as her eyes drifted shut. "Now you are playing with me."

"Yes, I am," he whispered, as he once again commenced with stroking her palms. "But not as you're suggesting."

By this point her face was mere inches from his as her mind screamed for her to move away, all the while her body telling her differently. "I don't want this," she whispered.

"Then leave," he shot back challengingly.

She felt his grip loosen enough so that if she wanted to, she could leave. She didn't however. She stayed frozen as she watched his eyes drift open and shut slowly. His weakened movements were almost hypnotic.

With fierce courage she closed the gap between their mouths as she placed her gentle lips atop his. She felt him immediately respond as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Her eyes slid shut as she moved her freed hands to his neck, pressing her chest against his. She felt his arms wrap around her waist as the two locked together.

Their kiss was gentle in delivery, but the desire behind it was immense…

~*~

Bulma's eyes flew open as her mind failed to let her see anymore. She ripped her hands away from Yamcha as though his touch had set fire to them. Breathing heavily she held her forehead, trying to sort out what she had just experienced.

"What's wrong?" Yamcha was quick to question. One minute he had thought he was getting through to her, the next, he felt utter rejection.

"This… This isn't right." Bulma shook her head as she tried to calm her labored breaths. She had never felt such intensity from a man, especially from only his memory. "It's… it's not you." She nearly gasped as her eyes locked with Yamcha's, suddenly realizing that the man in her vision and the one standing before her were not one and the same. She wasn't certain how she knew, being as she couldn't make out the face of he man in her memory, but somehow, she just knew.

Yamcha frowned as he watched the nearly frantic looking woman before him. Placing his hands upon her shoulders to try and steady her, Yamcha asked for further explanation. "Bulma what are you talking about? What 'is not' me?"

"I…" Bulma stuttered, as she locked eyes with her former lover. "I don't know how to explain it, but I know it's not you. I know you're not him."

Yamcha's head visibly lowered, he knew exactly who he was not. He was not the man she shared a child with, the man she went to sleep and woke up with every morning, the man whose ring she had accepted, the man who unrightfully held her heart; the man he would never be. "Bulma, I think I know--"

"I am sorry." She cut him off, not ready to deal with any more confusing questions or devastating pieces of reality. "But I can't be doing this anymore," she said, reaching into her purse and pulling out her capsule car. As soon as the car materialized Bulma walked over and opened the door, throwing her purse inside before turning back to Yamcha, who had followed her every movement. "I am sorry our evening was such a bust, but I think what I need now is just to get home, and try to sort everything out."

"Bulma," Yamcha tried to interrupt, but she wouldn't allow him.

"I know I probably sound insane to you right now, but I need you to just let me go, I need to deal with whatever I am feeling and remembering on my own."

Yamcha reluctantly agreed, giving his former girlfriend one final kiss upon her cheek before pulling away. "You know if you need me, I'll always be here for you," he offered the teary eyed woman, as he heard her whisper a goodbye before getting into her capsule car and driving off.

As Yamcha watched her fly away, he couldn't help but stand and wonder how different things would have been for them, if only he had been man enough to marry her when he had the chance.

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Author's Note: OK, so Bulma has some stuff to work out, Vegeta seems to be in a lot of pain, will they be able to heal each other's anguish? Find out next time…