Falling In Love A Second Time

Chapter 12 - Real or Imagine?

His tail wrapped tightly around her neck, holding her in the air as he mercilessly delivered an endless slew of assaults to her unprotected back. Bulma could feel her bones breaking as blood continued to flow from what felt like every inch of her body. She heard the snide insults of the beast behind her, while out of the corner of her eye she could see Krillin, Piccolo, and Gohan standing by doing nothing, as if she wasn't worth being saved. All she kept thinking was what a waste of a life she lived. All she had strived for, all she had ever believed she could have accomplished had never come to fruition. She had nothing. No friends, no mate, no heir, no one to remember her existence. She could feel herself on the brink of death, and all she could think was what a failure she had turned out to be. As her salty tears continued to run down her face, she realized she had never shed them before. Her hope, her honor, and her pride had been beaten as her body had. She closed her eyes waiting for death to free her from her current misery… to take her into her next hell…

~*~*~

"NO!" Bulma screamed as she abruptly awoke from her nightmare. Here she had merely intended to enjoy a little catnap on the living room couch, but instead her mind decides to create such a horrifying dream. 'Why can't I find any peace?'

"Bulma!?" A deep voice managed to somehow calm her trembling as two powerful arms enveloped her. Not thinking twice before burying her head in the crook of her comforter's neck, Bulma tightly wrapped her arms around his muscular waist. She continued to sob for several minutes, the all too realistic images of her death so clear in her mind. Everything had felt so real; the pain, the sorrow, the regret, but still, something did not quite fit; her presence. It was as if she was reliving a memory, but it was not her own. But how could that be?

Vegeta held a possessive embrace around his wife as he shrouded his face in her cerulean hair. He could feel her pain and fear as if it was his own, making him desperate to find a cure to her suffering. "Bulma?" Vegeta whispered her name as softly has his husky voice could conger, "What happened? What frightened you so?"

Bulma blinked a few times as she began to take notice of her surrounds, or more accurately, who was surrounding her, but even as confused and angry as she was about what had happened between her and the man now comforting her, she wanted-no needed, his attentions. "I-" Bulma lifted her head from his neck so she could look into his eyes, but before she had the chance to offer her explanation, a much more disturbing fact was brought to her notice. "What happened to you?" she asked worriedly, as she gracefully lifted her hand to his brow to wipe blood away.

Vegeta frowned as he realized he had not had the chance to clean himself off since his battle with Kakarrot. And to Bulma, not having, according to memory, experience with the type of punishment he can handle from battle, he imagined his appearance must have seemed fatal. "It's nothing," he stopped her from further investigating his injuries; he was not the priority here.

"Nothing?" she refused his motion to halt her. "You are bleeding in several places," she noted while looking him up and down, "you need medical attention." Bulma rose from her seat to head to gather some supplies. She didn't make it very far however before a hand snaked around her wrist.

"Woman, I'm fine, I have only minor injuries," Vegeta was quick to argue, they needed to get back to what was important, her.

"You look like you have been beaten half to death, and perhaps you don't care, but I do." Bulma twisted her hand so she was now latched onto his wrist. Turning towards the stairs she silently guided him into her bedroom, and ordered him to sit upon the bed while she went into her bathroom to get a first aid kit.

Vegeta growled as he watched her taking control of the situation. Hadn't he been the one trying to help her? "Bulma," he hissed her name with impatience as he watched her return with medical supplies. "I don't nee-"

"You're wasting you breath, I am not going to let an injured man walk around my house. I don't need blood stains on my carpet." She allowed herself a quick smile, enjoying the irritated look her comment received from her patient.

Vegeta pouted, as only Vegeta can, in defeat as he allowed her to tend to his wounds. He watched her carefully as she cleaned, medicated, and bandaged every injury in site. Once he had become bored with humoring her need to attend to him, he gently raised his hands to lock with that of hers, successfully stopping her treatments. "Why were you so upset downstairs?"

Bulma frowned as she shook her hands free from his, and turned to clean up the mess she had just made. "Not that it's any of your business," she clarified, "but I just had a nightmare."

"Of what?" he asked very seriously.

"What does it matter? It was just a nightmare." She left his side once more to return the supplies she hadn't used, and disposed of the ones she had. "Haven't you ever had a dream so terrifying you just couldn't calm yourself?" she asked as she returned.

A dejected look flashed across Vegeta's eyes, before a mask of indifference returned. "No," he answered honestly as he pulled his eyes from hers. "I don't have dreams… I relive memories."

Bulma almost immediately regretted asking, as she could practically feel the suppressed emotions the bitter statement brought to him. "That must be very difficult for you." She found herself at a loss for any other words of sympathy. How could she ever dream to try and understand what he had lived through?

Vegeta released a deep sigh as he realized yet another desolation from these circumstances. Before, when he relived one of his past horrors, he would have her comforting arms and soothing voice to calm his misery. She could see the same memory, and know exactly what he was feeling. That was perhaps the most comforting, and yet painful part of their bond. Comforting for him, because as a part of their bond all memories they had were shared, and for once in his life he had someone who could understand and see all that he had seen. But excruciatingly painful for her because she was forced to live out her life with memories he could barely survive. He recalled how devastating those first few weeks of bonding to her had been for him to watch. To see her pure mind raped by his memories. She had become physically ill at times, trying to handle the horrors he had been dealt, and had dealt himself. It was a miracle she could still look into his eyes with the love and adoration she had miraculously developed for him after all the misery he had caused her. But she, the strongest woman he has ever had the privilege of knowing, suffered for him and actually stayed by his side through it all. A bitter chill ran down his spine as the thought of how vain all of the effort they had made to be together was becoming, now that her memory of them was gone.

"If that's all, I think you should go get changed," Bulma interrupted Vegeta's train of thought as she tactfully demanded his departure from her presence.

Vegeta knit his brows as he rose from their bed, "No," he answered decisively. "Not until we talk about last night."

A frown fell upon Bulma's face; she had intended to be thoughtful in helping aid his injuries, why did he have to demand more of her? "I think we have already said all we need to." She spoke briskly before trying to depart from him. She didn't make it far enough before being brought to an abrupt halt.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Vegeta asked with all seriousness, he needed to know exactly where he stood, now that she has had time to reflect on what has happened.

"Tell you what?" she asked with a deep sigh. Why wouldn't this guy just leave her alone?

"That with the loss of your memories, you lost the knowledge of ever being with a man."

Bulma couldn't suppress the rouge that flushed her cheeks. "H-How did you know?" The question came out almost as a whisper from her trembling lips. She wasn't sure why, but his question seemed to cruelly reawaken her feelings of shame in her actions.

"I recalled you telling me about your first time. It wasn't until you returned from Namek, after your memories end." He responded honestly, save the part about her telling him. He hadn't learned of how nearly he had 'missed' her virginity until they bonded. It infuriated him to no end that the weakling had her before him. But, perhaps it was fate; for if she had kept her virginity, she surely would have never given it to him under the circumstances of their first coupling. "So why didn't you tell me? I would have stopped; if you believe nothing else you must believe that."

Bulma took a long breath as she heard his genuine plea, why this man still seemed to care so deeply was still a confusing matter, but she did owe him an explanation. She, herself, just wasn't sure what it was. Walking back to her bed and taking an exhausted seat, she tried to explain. "It's easiest for me to tell myself that you took advantage of me last night. I mean, that conclusion doesn't leave me with all of the confusing questions the other scenario does. The one where I have to admit to myself that I actually wanted what happened last night, that the reason it did happen was because I didn't want it to end, and that this morning I had overreacted after some silly dream I had, and blamed everything on you. It was the quickest fix I could conger up, but it has only seemed to leave me with more problems than perhaps the truth would have. In my mind, last night was the first time I have ever been with a man, and maybe it shouldn't have been, but I can't stop thinking that, as absolutely insane as it sounds knowing who and what you are, that it… that it felt right. I don't know what that means, if it even means anything, but… Ah, you just can't understand how difficult this is for me. I don't know what's right and wrong anymore. I don't know what I should or shouldn't be feeling. Do you have any idea what it's like to have your mind, or at least what's left of it, telling you one thing while your heart is telling you another?" Her heartfelt admission came with tears as she locked eyes with the man standing above her. He seemed almost as lost as she.

Vegeta slowly walked beside Bulma and took a seat next to her. He wanted her absolution for his actions last night, but not at the cost of her own pain. "Believe it or not, I have some extensive knowledge of the internal struggle between logical thought and emotion. What I am told and what I feel. I have had to face such circumstances all my life. I was raised with the mental discipline to be emotionless. I never knew anything differently until I came to this planet. It was only at that point I realized the crushing fact that I still had a heart, and that it was telling me to protect when my mind told me to destroy, to be gentle when I wanted to hurt, and to love when I didn't understand what the word meant. I suppose that was the greatest battle I ever faced, and the only one I'm proud to say I lost. I'd be long dead without anyone to care, if I hadn't." As Vegeta finished he felt a warm palm encircle his face as his head was twisted so it was facing the deep azure eyes of his mate.

"I was wrong," Bulma whispered softly, as she searched his eyes for assurance of her induction. "The man I remember you as, is nothing like what I see here. I should have believed you this morning when you tried to assure me of your intentions. I am sorry."

Vegeta lightly chuckled as a smirk cross his face. "That may be the first time you ever admitted you were wrong to me."

Bulma laughed heartedly herself, as she ran her thumb over the crease of his lips. "I suppose there's a first time for everything." Her sentence fell to a whisper as her eyes met with those of her unknown husband. She felt her body unconsciously moving towards his, as his hands returned to her waist, bringing her flush up against him. It was there again, that feeling, that desire, that need. Tilting her head forward, it seemed another moment of intimacy was inevitable. But unfortunately, an irritating deja vu was to prevent them.

"Mom!" Bulma and Vegeta detangled themselves with lightening speed, before their son, who had shouted from the staircase, made it to their room.

"Trunks!?" Bulma greeted, after taking a moment to regain her composure. "What do you need?"

Trunks eye's averted from his mother as soon as he noticed his father's presence. "Hey, where have you been?" He stormed over to the fuming man; little did he know his poor timing was about to result in the man's evasive responses.

"I was out," Vegeta replied menacingly, as he crossed his arms over his chest rather angrily. "Now that you know, you can leave your mother and I to the conversation we were in the middle of."

"You were out where?" Trunks demanded, "Why wasn't your bed slept in? Why couldn't I find you this morning? Hm?" Trunks mimicked his father's stance, uninterested in being intimidated into not pursuing the truth.

Vegeta continued with his bitter glare, while releasing a challenging growl. "What I do and do not do is not your concern."

Trunks shot one of his own threatening glares to match his father. "It most certainly is! Do you have any idea how worried I was? I mean the way you have been acting lately… I was imagining all kinds of insane things you might have been off doing-all of them violent-and you act like it shouldn't matter to me!? You're my damn fath-friend-I can't care?!"

"He's your what?" Bulma interrupted, as she walked in front of Vegeta and glared angrily down at her son.

Trunks felt his heart stop. Had he let it slip? Did she figure it out? "W-What are you getting at?" Trunks gulped, already trying to come up with some plausible lies.

"He's your damn friend? Now I know I wouldn't tolerate that kind of language from my son!"

Both Trunks and Vegeta released a communal sigh of relief as they realized she had noticed the lesser of errors. "Oh, I am so sorry; it was an accident, really. I was just upset. I won't use that kind of language again. Promise!"

"Well good," Bulma nodded, "so no more arguing, it's really creeping me out. The way you two act like each other, it's like your father and son." Bulma started to laugh at the absurdity of that possibility, as Trunks and Vegeta almost fell over in utter befuddlement. "All right," Bulma began again after calming her laughter, "since I've had enough drama for today, how about we go get some lunch?"

"Sounds good to me," Trunks rubbed his stomach as he looked back at his father. "You coming, Vegeta?"

The Saiya-jin no ouji scowled after hearing his son address him so improperly. "Later," Vegeta said simply, before walking past the boy and heading straight to his mate. "We are not finished with this," Vegeta clarified, while locking his eyes with hers, he would make certain this was not going to be avoided any longer.

Bulma only nodded briefly before watching Vegeta walk past her and head to his room, for what she assumed would be the shower she earlier suggested. "So, what do you want for lunch?" Bulma asked absently, as she began her trek to the kitchen; it was bizarre, but it almost felt like her heart had skipped a beat, hearing the prospect of their continuing whatever it was they had begun.

"Anything sounds good," Trunks rubbed his stomach as he followed his mother into the kitchen and hopped on a chair while watching his mother rummage through the fridge. After some deliberation, hot dogs were decided on.

"Look, I know you are a growing boy, but thirty hot dogs? You can't possible eat that many," Bulma accused, after her son asked for what he called a 'modest' portion.

"Ah… um… well," Trunks frowned as he realized his eating habits must seem ludicrous, not knowing he is half Saiya-jin. It seemed he'd have to humor her now, and sneak back later for a more appropriate helping. "I was just kidding of course. Two will be fine." He concluded that was a more appropriate number considering his mother's assumptions.

Bulma smiled in agreement as she threw three into a boiling pot of water, adding one for herself. "They shouldn't take too long," Bulma announced, before taking a seat across from her son. She thought as they waited they could share a little 'mother-son' time. "So," Bulma decided to begin generally. "How have things been going for you?"

"Ah," Trunks thought a few moments before carefully answering. "All right I guess. How about you? Are you and Vegeta getting along?"

Though Trunks had no particularly hidden motives with his question, it caused much grief for Bulma. She was still not sure how she should answer that question. Perhaps, she could instead gain some wisdom from her son on the matter. Things are always so much simpler through the eyes of a child. "I'm not sure. I am having a hard time figuring the guy out. Maybe you can help me."

Trunks was genuinely shocked by his mother's question. "What is it you can't figure out?"

"A lot," Bulma sighed honestly, "I mean, one minute the guy seems like he really could be my best friend and then the next, he's colder and more distant than anyone I've ever known. Is it me, am I just reading him wrong?"

Trunks half smiled, if there was one word to sum up his father, it would surely be complicated. "It's not you," Trunks reassured her, "he is pretty rough around the edges. He can be one thing one minute and then something completely opposite the next, but that's just him. It's kinda like he's two different people. There is the evil side of him, which I fortunately have only met the watered down version of, and the, if I dare say, softer side of him, that he doesn't let everyone see all the time. But look, I know he can seem really scary sometimes, but he's actually not, at least with us. He'd never hurt either of us; in fact on more than one occasion he has gone out of his way to protect us. He might not have been that great with me at first, but he never gave up, on either of us. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be confused by him, just know he's a good person now, and he really cares about us. Does that answer your question?" Trunks scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed as he realized the truth had sort of run away with him. He had intended to offer a short response, but he wanted to make his mother understand that she could completely trust his father, even if she still couldn't remember why.

"I think it more than does." Bulma smiled as she heard her son's heartfelt conclusion. She could see the deep adoration her son held for this man, and a part of her felt truly grateful that her son had such a role model in his life. "It sounds like you two are very close."

"Yep," Trunks nodded quickly in agreement. "But I suppose that is to be expected since we spend so much time together. All the training, chow-fests, and even the outings to the park can--"

"The park?" Bulma repeated, suddenly remembering her dream early this morning. "Vegeta takes you to the park?"

"Oh, ah yeah," Trunks chuckled, "I know what you're thinking: it's something he'd never do. But years ago you talked him into it and he's gone with me a few times a month ever since. I think you wanted to get him out of the gravity room for some air almost as much as you wanted me to."

"H-How did I get him to take you?" Bulma gulped, trying not to arouse any suspicion from her son.

"I'm not entirely sure actually," Trunks thought a moment. "But you were busy with work and I wanted to go to the park, so I begged you to go ask him for me-you usually have more luck than I do. It didn't take more than a few minutes before he agreed to take me. I think you blackmailed him or something, because he seemed pretty bitter during the flight there. He kept cursing about how his 'playtime' shouldn't have to depend on my 'playtime' and referring to you as 'manipulative' several times. All things considered, it was actually pretty funny." Trunks began to laugh at the memory as he failed to notice his mother's shocked expression.

'if Trunks doesn't get to play this afternoon, you won't get to play tonight' The words vibrated through Bulma's mind. 'if you keep being manipulative like this I'm going to start to think I'm wearing off on you'

"Mom, what's wrong?" Trunks frowned as he watched his mother abruptly rise from her chair.

"Um… N-Nothing," Bulma lied poorly, "I think, I just need some air," she confessed quickly, before grabbing her coat and purse and bolting out of the kitchen.

"What did I say?" Trunks wondered briefly, before walking over to the stove to check on his lunch. "At least I can eat properly now."

"Why couldn't you before?" A questioning voice jolted the young boy from his activities.

"Dad!" Trunks gasped, "Ah, don't scare me like that!"

"Where's your mother?" Vegeta asked, as he began searching for her ki. He couldn't feel it anywhere close.

"She said she wanted to get some air." Trunks shrugged while pulling out three more packages of hotdogs and dropping what he could into the boiling pot before looking to pull out another to boil the rest in.

"Perfect." Vegeta hissed, he hadn't taken more than ten minutes to shower and change and already she has disappeared from him once again.

"Relax Dad; I'm sure she won't be gone long," Trunks tried to reassure, as he dropped the rest of his lunch into the second pot of boiling water.

Vegeta, unrelieved by his son's words, departed from the kitchen in an exasperated huff. To say he was angered by yet another denied chance to further his progress with Bulma would have been a grotesque understatement.

Grumpily heading back upstairs, Vegeta decided to indulge in an essentiality that he had meagerly been partaking of in these last few months, sleep.

Collapsing atop his bed, Vegeta buried himself under his lonely sheets. He had been drained both emotionally and physically after the day's roller coaster of events. Now he simply wanted a respite before his next battle, one that he would be damned if he lost again.

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Author's Note: Eeek! Has Bulma actually figured it out? I guess you will all just have to wait until the next chapter to find out!