Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Feeding Genius ❯ Vegeta's Blame ( Chapter 14 )

Feeding Genius

Chapter fourteen

Vegeta's Blame

Disclaimer - Yeah... I don't own it.

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It's at times like these that I realize just what a complete idiot I am, but perhaps it is not as straightforward as you may think. Oh yes! The incident tonight at the ball will no doubt rank high on the ever increasing list of sheer stupidity displayed by the Saiyan no Ouji, but it can never cloud the lunacy of the step I took over six years ago.

That is the cause of the anxiety I now feel, as I disregard station protocol and fly up through the newly melted metal ceiling. This moment was sealed into my fate the moment I let the blue-haired billionaire through my defenses. The day I finally admitted to myself that there was something there beyond sex, no matter how alien and inexplicable it was to me at the time... and perhaps is still.

It is so simple to be selfish. It comes so naturally to me, and that day, however many times the earth may have spun around the sun since, I had the option to walk away... but I couldn't. My need outweighed every rational thought for her safety. I'm a fool! I can remember that day as well as I can feel my inner energy bubbling and boiling through my veins right now. It had been so insufferably hot, and I had met a flustered old scientist in the hall, shrouded in the usual disgusting fuzz of tobacco smoke.

Dr. Brief looked so red and out of puff that I had thought he was about to keel over and die at my feet. I remember thinking how repulsive it was that any creature should let itself get so out of shape that such a short sprint from outside could cause its cheeks to burn and pulse to race so drastically.

"Vegeta!" He choked. "This is ridiculous! You have to speak to her... you can't just leave!"

"Watch me!"

For the first time since I had known him, the old man took a dominant stature, despite his difficulty in breathing. He blocked my path. No doubt he thought his precious little girl was suffering because of me, and finally under all those years of complaisance, parental concern managed to drift to the surface.

"I'm telling you... speak to her. You will regret it if you don't. You once told me that Saiyan warriors live on their pride. Well... they are not the only ones. Look..." He directed me to a long slanted window, where Bulma could be plainly seen, standing staunchly in front of the ship I fully intended to leave planet on. "Tell me you will have handled this situation with pride if you leave without talking to her."

"It is out of my hands old man. You read too much into this. Your wife thinks that there is some sort of relationship between your daughter and me, but I had at least thought I could rely on you to realize the difference between affection and sex. She wants me to go. She told me to. What has happened means nothing to either of us."

He smiled slightly. "I think you are the only creature on this planet that would dare tell a father that he was using his daughter for sex... but if this situation really means nothing to you, then you have no reason not to meet with her do you?"

"And I would have no reason to meet with her either. In each scenario I could leave content in mind and with pride in tact."

"If you really care nothing for her then yes..." He agreed, "Yes you could."

Gesturing once to his daughter with the hike of his eyebrows, he patted me on the back and left without another word. It was as though he had some ungodly power and knew precognizantly what I was going to do.

For several moments I contemplated in silence. Why my feet hadn't resumed on their original course was a mystery to me. Why I was even considering doing what the old man had suggested was a question as complex as it was unnerving.

For longer than I would care to admit... I remained. It took the hand of the clock to rotate past ten minutes before my feet finally resumed the course they had been interrupted from. That my path had been to the space pod in the first place was the only reason I followed the doctors prompting - or so I had convinced myself, but as I reached that familiar environ, where I was close enough to sense, smell, and experience... well lets say that I had no option but to stop... and so I did, not knowing what I was going to say, not knowing what... or why... or any of those infuriating questions that always hound me.

She knew I was there. Not one muscle moved... but she knew. There was no glance or outward sign of recognition, but I could feel her pulse rise, the breath hitch in her throat. She sighed, her hair billowing to a stray warm breeze, but she did not face me.

I should have carried on, but I paused, waited.

Eventually she turned to face me, her eyes alive with the sun's light and complimented by its flame. It was the reflection of the water standing in their depths. Had she been crying?

Her brow dropped, and I had to stoop a little to keep contact with the crystalline pools. It was ridiculous! I had nothing to say, and I managed to muster enough of my senses to brush past.

I wasn't, however, destined to leave the planet that day without confrontation.

A hand stopped me, not with power, but electricity. It crackled around my insides, alighting them and staying my feet. The palm was flat on my stomach, the thumb brushing up and down insecurely. I couldn't move. Her face held so much power in spite of her body holding so little.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean... that is..." Her voice licked at the air, a notch below a whisper. "You know you can stay... if you want."

"Stay...?" I questioned, somewhat contemptuously. "In what way... for what reason?"

"You have a choice Vegeta. I was... wrong to take that from you." She smiled nervously through the tears, "I can't believe I'm saying this. I must sound like such a wreck! Look what you keep doing to me!" She stopped. Perhaps it was because she knew how much I hated it when her sentences became inarticulate and took on a life of their own, or... more likely than not, she just remembered that there was a point to her ramblings. "I guess what I'm trying to say... really badly... is that I miss you. You know there's a human saying. It tells us there's a thin line between love and hate. I dunno... sometimes I just can't stand to be around you Vegeta, at times I want to hurt you physically just as much as you've hurt me emotionally, I have so much anger pent up over you that I feel like I'm about to explode and then... then there are times that... that..."

"That?"

"That..." She offered tentatively, "I just want you to hold me, to be close, to look at me and without even knowing it, make me fall even further."

The tears were as unchecked as they were disregarded. It felt as though her very inner being was leaping out at me through them... what do human's call it? The soul? It left me immobile and speechless... quite speechless.

She continued, seemingly wanting to explain away my silence. "I don't know what to do Vegeta. I don't know how you think sometimes... is it all just a jumble of contradictions or is there order in the madness somewhere? I just want to know what you really want, whether any of this means fuck all to you."

Her voice had risen, but after a pause it softened. She looked at the ground as though it was the most interesting spot of grass on the planet.

"I... I haven't said any of this to trap you, to make you feel guilt or to forgive myself because of the way I've treated you, but because its how I feel, and either way, there isn't any reason why I shouldn't say it to you... not now. If there's one thing I can be certain of, then it's that I want you to be happy, however much you might scorn the sentiment, or belittle it as a human weakness, and no matter how many times I have heard you say that happy isn't a word associated with a Saiyan warrior and all that crap. I care about you. I want you to be at peace with yourself, and no matter how shitty it might make me feel, if finding your destiny is something that can only be found off-planet, then who am I to stop you from reaching it."

She wiped the tears away with her sleeve. "Oh my kami... I'm such a mess." She giggled, sending me a smile, and having had the passion pass her lips, it left its enigmatical glow on her cheeks just to make extra sure I wouldn't forget... and I still haven't, but at the time... well my mind was even more muddled than I think it had ever been before or has been since. To feel such powerful emotion, and a feeling unassociated with anything dark or oppressive. I hadn't until that moment realized just how truly significant or how empowering it was. What was such a fragile Chikyu-jin compared to the might of Saiyan royal blood? Such a creature should be nothing and yet...

...And yet...

I knew that staying on planet was wrong, as wrong as I had known taking the human to my bed had been for all those demon-filled nights in the first place, knowing how I had hit my lowest and was searching for something sentient to drag down with me... to make them suffer just as much as I was.

Then there were all those conflicting ideals that were spun under the realization that I couldn't make her suffer, that I wanted her to feel pleasure and from my hands. It was in a way, a natural and desirable means of making me feel like I was worth something. I was in control, I was dominant, and unrivalled. It was a dream-world, a fantasy made of cotton-wool and faeries, and where Super Saiyan didn't matter, only completion. I couldn't relate to why the woman would pin so much importance on it, and most certainly didn't want to look into it, but it was a lie of course. I had looked into it, into the fire that burned so well inside her. Through the window of her eyes I had seen it all.

"You want something I have no idea of onna. To stay would be to lie and tell you that I am capable of giving whatever it is you are so passionate about. I have no ideals beyond Super Saiyan. That is my focus, my determination, my only need."

"And once you have it?"

"Then I will come back here to experience it to its fullest."

"On Goku?"

"The Androids first, and yes... then Kakarrot. However... despite everything I have said to the contrary, I no longer have any quarrel with this planet. It will not be part of the experience."

"And...?" She was so inviting and yet so sad, looking up at me under those thick lashes. "...and me?"

I lowered my head. It made me sick to the stomach, but I couldn't say what I wanted to her face. "Be assured Bulma, you will feel it in a way like no other ever will." And in that second I had made my promise to her and myself. Selfish, cruel, and as dark as the cloak of evil I had ever lived with... and I made it worse. "You will see me again Chikyu-jin... whether you wish it or not you will see me."

I can still remember the churning my insides made as I spoke that sentence. It was as though my being was being gouged from the inner core of my body, making me fall. I hated myself that day. I knew what I was offering her, but I thought it was right. She looked so happy, so content as though the darkness that habitually surrounded me was replaced with the light of a thousand angels. If only she had known how corrupted they were, how the wings were torn and hanging and the vestiges of horns outlined the rim of their foreheads. If she had then maybe... maybe she would have refused to be associated with me once and for all.

That is my blame... That is my horror, and that is my conscience. Keeping her for myself. Partaking in the thrill of her body without any due care as to the consequences. I was lying to myself, knowing that it was more than I deserved and tragic for her. Why couldn't I have just left the planet for good that day? Why did I have to give oath and promise, forcing my return, knowing that ultimately it would lead to this moment, where it might mean her death? There are few beings I have ever cared about and none in a way so encompassing as Bulma and I have taken her life in an even more traitorous manner than I have any other. I have devoted her to her end; coaxed, seduced and fucked her to her doom.

But this is not forgone... not yet. Right now... nothing that has happened in the past few months matters. Right now... it is time to go forward and complete what has been silently sworn within me ever since that day. I have to protect my little Chikyu-jin innocent and I have to hurry.

Somewhere through the jumble of twisted metal flooring I have lost count, and I find I have to pause a moment to get my bearings. This gap in my mission is frantic and painful. An elderly creature with crinkled yellow features, and limbs that shouldn't be proportionally possible, stares openly at me.

"Which floor is this?" I demand.

He doesn't respond, only quivers in fear and takes a few steps back.

"I demand you tell me which floor I'm on!" I repeat, grabbing the scruff of his uniform and pushing him into the solid wall.

Despite my entreaty it appears that the fat old fool can't answer my question with my elbow jammed into his windpipe and so instead he points to across the hall where I can make out the white static numbers of '42.'

Tossing the creature to the side, I congratulate my psyche on knowing when to stop.

Searching for the right door is more time consuming than I would like, and as I look for suite thirty my mind throws disturbing hints of the possibilities I could be faced with when I reach her. Each one is as harrowing as the last, but I am near now. Calculating ahead I can already see the door that belongs to her quarters.

In an instant I am before it and with no thought beyond protecting what is mine, I blast the lock open and storm inside.

Her sent… that is the first thing that I sense. It fills my lungs and works its ethereal spell over me. I have not smelt it for so long. My stomach knots in anticipation, but I do not see her. The room is large and well furnished. Everything inside screams Chikyu-jin at me, from the patterned curtains to the copious amount of cushions and the paper strewn desk.

I'll have to calm my breathing down and slow my pulse. I need to think. I can't do that if I am like this. Drawing large lungs of oxygen I can feel my mind returning to normal. At least I can relax a little. There are no signs of a struggle; the only damage to the room is that which I have inflicted myself.

In the tingling of my neck I spread out my senses, enhancing those I need, reaching out to touch all the rooms. I can feel her life energy! It is fainter than usual but I can feel it! I close my eyes in relief. She is in the room to the left.

I walk over in her direction, but why my pulse is increasing is beyond me. "Idiot" I scold, carefully toeing the door open with my foot.

I walk carefully, but authoritatively into the bedroom, preparing myself to see her face for the first time in too long. For some reason I can't exhale when my eyes meet with her body as all my fears are reaffirmed. She is pale… too pale and passed out on the large bed.

With more speed than thought I go to her side, placing my fingers in the crook of her neck. I finally manage to breathe. She looks like death, but she is just sleeping, nothing more. Still her skin is clammy and I'm concerned that she apparently did not have a chance to undress before falling asleep. She is wearing a very elaborate dress, corseted in dark blue, and with a white skirt lined with red that would reach to the floor if she were standing.

It appears to me, even through my confusion, that she must have been intending to join the ball tonight, but was too exhausted.

"Onna…" I mumble, "What have you been doing to yourself." And feeling disturbed by the affection I add, "Fool" just to ease my pride.

Without thinking about anything past my own need I bend down, wiping a few stray strands of hair from her damp face and sit on the bed next to her. My mind is made up. I don't care what she will say to me when she wakes, if she does anytime soon, it is not safe for her to stay here.

Using both hands to scoop her up I place her over my left shoulder. Not the most elegant of positions for her it is true, but much easier for me, because I will only need one hand to carry her. This way if I need to defend us I will be able. In an instant I find myself retreated from the room and her entire suite, walking with extra speed, strangely impatient to get back to my quarters.

One thing is for certain. The first thing I am going to do after making sure both Bulma and Trunks are safe in my rooms is confront Faylorn. He may not have done anything yet, but his presence will be a constant threat if I don't deal with him straight away. I cannot let that happen.

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A/N - I wanted to say sorry to you all for the lack of updates on all my stories in the past few weeks. My hard drive died and I have only just managed to get my computer working again. The worst part was the just finished chapter of "Everything happens for a reason" which died along with my hard drive. *sniffles* I hope this chapter will keep you going for a little while whilst I re-write the chapter I lost.

*hugs*

Ember

P.S. If you want to be notified of updates for this or any of my stories then send me an email to Ember_chan@hotmail.com saying you want to join my mailing list. (Warning - Blank emails will be ignored.)