Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Feeding Genius ❯ Bulma's Decision ( Chapter 8 )

Feeding Genius

Chapter Eight

Bulma's Decision

Disclaimer: Yep… Still don't own it.

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There is a saying for this moment that perhaps you are familiar with. Never count your chickens before they are hatched. Truer words have never been spoken, because right now my head is struggling to come to terms with that phrases numerology. It's surprising how something so simple in theory, can throw up so many difficulties when you think on it a little more thoroughly.

I have spent the last, Kami only knows how many hours, locked in the hanger with Capsule Four, trying to work out the complexities of a scheme that could promise so much - if only I could find the right catalyst. I already have the plan formulated; it is the basics that currently baffle me. Like where to begin. I can see the goal in my mind, and yet the path to achieving it seems to become murky and fraught the further I explore.

There are certain things that have to be taken in to consideration when I grab hold of an idea and run away with it… certain regulations that have to be forcefully reined in to curb the boundaries of my own genius. I have to make sure that I slow my thoughts down and think first. Only then will the impulsiveness of my character be complimented with good work.

Unfortunately this results in me being constantly in battle with myself. In a sort of no-mans-land somewhere between inspiration and caution. It is very fair to say that on occasion I find this foggy mid-water hard to plough through. Both aspects just end up colliding together without gaining any true progress. It's like the scientific equivalent of writers block.

This is my current stumbling point and you would be perfectly justified in wondering why I have been so successful, especially when something so simple can unhinge my mind. Well the secret is temperance. I have never been on my own. For the majority of my life I have relied on the sanguine but similarly stable mind of one man. My father, but now I'm going to have to do it on my own.

I am a little disappointed at his reaction to my plan, but I guess he understands better than I do. I really don't know what I was hoping for but I'm sure it was more than the little encouragement I received. A simple, "If you think it is for the best" was not really where I had expected his level of interest to peak. Ok, he is retired now and it is right that I should handle this in my own way, but his interest earlier seems very misplaced with his current unconcern. Maybe spending all this time with mum is having a detrimental affect on him. Is dizziness contagious?

Of course I do not expect him to participate. I could never ask him to take on any more than the running of the business whilst I am gone, which he has agreed to, but as for anything else, well I think he sees it in the same light as my teenage escapades. Just like he let me have free reign then, he is offering it to me now. Unfortunately, as nice as it is, what I really need is support. If this is the course I am going to take, and it looks more and more likely it will be… then I need the backing of everyone around me. I am not strong enough to handle it on my own.

Ok. There you have it. I did not slip up. You heard me well enough. I admitted to needing the support of everyone around me, and importantly at this minute, more than anything else, this includes Vegeta.

Keeping my mind occupied tonight seems to have given my heart discipline and with it, the courage to admit where I am wrong. So the truth can no longer be denied and I can no longer block my husband out of the equation. I finally realize that adhering to my pride is, in fact, doing nothing but making both of us miserable. Even though it is thanks to Vegeta that I am in this situation to begin with, it might yet prove that he is the one that helps me find a way out of it. I can no longer ignore that, or anything else that has happened since we first came to an emotional understanding. I will not trick him into it though. The feeling that pounds through me is honest, and if he doubts that then… then… well, I don't know what I will do… but at least I can say I have tried.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm still angry with him. I'm still undecided if I most want to slap him silly, or hug him forever, because although I am sure I would prefer the former, I also think it is about time I swallowed what small amount of pride I have left and apologise. Oh my Kami! I can't believe I'm actually going to go through with this. I hang my head in shame. It's not just because I have to relinquish so much to make amends, but because I know that it should never have gone as far as it has in the first place.

I was so completely blind! How could I have pushed him away so cruelly? Of all the stupid, idiotic, crappy things I had to do, it was punish him for trying to protect me. Wasn't that what I had been trying to extract from our relationship for the last six years - some iota of feeling in him that proves he actually gives a shit? Undoubtedly his ego and pride had a defining influence in his behaviour towards Mr. Simmons, but wasn't it just a little stubborn of me not to notice the more caring aspect it offered?

I have told you already how linear his mind is - that he has no concept of how to look beyond what is in front of him. So didn't that, in theory, make him right? I was being unreasonable to expect more from him. But then again I can also counter that and say, wasn't I equally right in trying to teach him to think more openly of others? Aw man! I think my mind is going to go into overload if I keep going over this time and time again. So perhaps now I should sum up this big mess in one thought, and for the first time I realize that it is the method I have chosen which is wrong, which has caused so much pain.

I couldn't see past the anger and that is something that frightens me. All I knew was that I was right and I wouldn't even listen to his arguments no matter how rational they were. I mean even Chi Chi saw it! What does that say about me?

Wanting to apologise though, and finding the right way to do it, are two separate matters entirely. I will have to do it soon. He will want to leave as soon as I have finished my alterations to Capsule Four and seeing as I know for certain that this will no longer happen, finding him is imperative.

It is now very early in the morning. I look to my watch. Yep. 5 o'clock. I hadn't intended to stay out here all night, but necessity wins against weariness and I would not be so far advanced into my plan if I had not.

Unfortunately tiredness is catching up to me, but I will not give into it just yet. I need to focus, need to keep control of my thoughts, because I still have an hour to go before he wakes up.

I could feel his energy last night as I worked. He didn't go to bed until late. I think it was just past two when his energy finally left me. On some subconscious level I always know when he is active, restless, or angry… and last night I could feel his power unlike ever before because it was a combination of all three. No wonder it disturbs Trunks' sleep.

Despite his late night though, I know he will be up very soon. He is Saiyan, and never needs more than four hours sleep a night. Perhaps seeing as his temper is so tremulous at the moment he will breakfast earlier.

Under the thought, the hairs on my arms bristle slightly. I close my eyes and breathe a couple of times to clear my mind. I'll have to concentrate for a while to make sure if it is the feeling I am equally dreading and pining for, or whether it is just my mind thinking up its object!

No. It is real enough. I can feel that convulsion of power like a beacon in the dark and it's close. Shit! It's coming this way. Rubbing the tiredness from my face I down the remainder of my cold coffee and only slightly grimacing at it, I try and get some sort of feeling back in my legs before he arrives.

Walking out from the bowels of the ship and taking the bait, I squint into the darkness. Damn! All the floodlights are directed on me and I can't see a thing beyond my own circle.

"I know you're there Vegeta so why don't you just say, whatever it is you came to, and get it over with?"

I hear his movement long before my eyes catch up to see him pushing off the wall at the top of the metal stairs. The brightness of industrial lighting sends his whole body into a muddling of shadows. I'm sure he must go around testing certain areas of Capsule Corporation, just so he knows where to stand to look his most threatening.

He glares down at me. "Is it really in that bad condition? You have been here all night. Are you in that much of a hurry to get rid of me?"

My subconscious screams "Hell No!" at him. My body, however, rebels. I neither answer nor react as I walk up to the bottom step. I will lose enough pride by the end of this anyway. No need to sacrifice any too early.

Ignoring my coldness he continues. "When will it be ready?"

"Two, maybe three hours." It is the truth. If I wanted to I could delay it, but that is irrelevant now. "Vegeta… I…" My courage was high for a second, but under his stare it seems to wither back to wherever it came from.

"You…?" He questions when I say no more. His eyebrows gather contemptuously, and making a nonchalant gesture with his hands, he urges me in his own way to continue.

"I…" Dammit, dammit, dammit! Why is this so hard? I swallow once to clear my throat. "I'm sorry!"

He looks unsure if he has heard me correctly. "You're sorry?" He repeats.

Is murdering an ex-homicidal maniac still considered a crime? Is that all he has to say? "Yes. Now chew on it properly because I'm not going to say it again!"

I turn back to the ship. I know this isn't over by any stretch of the imagination, but being so exposed is making me feel awkward and I crave for the comfort of activity.

As I walk back up the ramp I can also hear his booted feet descending down the hanger steps. It is not long after, having sat back down in the ship and pulled my laptop onto my knees, that he makes his appearance. I do not look up on his entrance, determined to do anything but meet his gaze.

"Sorry for what?" He asks slowly.

My eyes don't leave the computer screen, but my body sags into a sigh. "Everything."

Nothing.

A good five minutes pass and still there is no more elaboration from either side. I can hear his breathing, heavy and thoughtful, eerily befitting the mood, but his energy belies him. I can feel it like a piercing bolt of electricity at the back of my mind. He isn't as calm as his exterior would have the world believe.

"Why?"

The word is spoken in such a breathy growl that I almost miss it… almost.

I'm unsure how to answer or to what the question even portends. For the first time since he has entered the room I look up. I catch a flash of obsidian, before it is wrenched haughtily away.

"Why are you sorry?" He enunciates.

I am about to reply but even as I open my lips to begin, he willingly answers for me.

"Are you sorry for overreacting? For treating me with less respect than the family feline, or is there another reason for you trying to trick me into pliancy?"

There is hidden meaning in his words. I know he is trying to manipulate my answer into betraying some double motive. Trust doesn't run very far with him.

"Look Vegeta I know this may be hard for you to understand but I feel just as shitty as you do. I haven't had a proper nights sleep in the last five days. I miss you. I don't want to be angry anymore. I can't take it! It's driving me insane!" I look up to him through the stress and depression that has clouded my mind, hoping above hope that the exhaustion in my eyes will plead my sincerity. "I'm still disappointed in how you handled yourself. I won't lie to you, but I can't help it. I love you, and every moment we've been stuck in this nonsensical battle of pride, it has hurt me like you can hardly imagine. What we have is so special. I don't want to lose it… or you."

Something within me swells with courage, and laying my computer to the side, I get up and walk over to him. His eyes are transfixed with mine, as I stroll confidently closer. I can feel the heat they promise and yet also the chill of scepticism they still regard me with. My chest is almost touching his as we stand nose to nose. I tremble slightly. There is so little of the physical that is stopping me from being with him as my heart desires, if only the situation would allow it. We're so close, and yet no nearer to conciliation.

"Please…?" I ask tentatively, and at last I dare to bridge the remaining gap to run the back of my index finger across the line of his cheek. His body doesn't move, but I at least have the satisfaction of creating a hint of caring in those eyes as he (consciously or not) leans into my caress.

There is a tumult of feeling that pours over me at his quiet acceptance and I hiccup my restraint as tears threaten to leave the sanctum of their ducts. It feels like an age since I last touched him. His hand reaches up to mine and I delight in the fact that he isn't wearing gloves, as is usually the case. I have all the thrill of his skin moving slowly over my own as his thumb flutters gently against the back of my hand.

A moment passes in this fashion, but at once our silent understanding is broken as his fingers curl under my palm. His breathing is ragged and tinged with an emotion I cannot tell as he removes my hand and swallows hard. I can sense the change in every organ and yet my mind still doesn't want to admit it. He is fighting for control.

Dammit! Whatever chord of connection I had built with him is melting fast and it feels as though the air conditioning has been set to freezing. The muscles that were relaxed a moment ago as I stroked his cheek are now clenched to breaking point and his teeth are gritted as he throws my hand, disparagingly away.

"You do well Bulma!" He snarls sadistically in my ear. "You might have almost fooled me for a minute there if I didn't already know better."

I can feel the emotion I had controlled before hitch back into my throat. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play the innocent with me!" He roars. "I have spoken with your father. It seems he is completely oblivious to the rift that has been driven between us because of your wretched business. I guess it is lucky for me that he is. Otherwise I might just have been fooled by this pathetic display of yours."

"What…" My voice is unsteady and the sentence falters. I try again. "What has dad got to do with this?"

"Everything! It seems the old man is worried about some new business venture you are about to take and wants my assurance that the information on this spacecraft is correct. Would you happen to know anything about this Bulma?" He looks bitterly at me and I take a step back. "No of course you wouldn't because you are only apologising because you love me aren't you? How pathetic! Do you honestly expect me to believe this? Do you want to know what I think?" He questions.

I open my mouth about to defend myself, but it appears that Vegeta doesn't care to listen.

"It doesn't matter what you want. I'm going to tell you anyway. The only reason you have said these things to me is because you need my help. I have no idea how you plan to utilise the data to better your company, but there is one thing for sure. You will never be able to interpret it without me. No doubt you have seen that all the files are stored in Sayaningo and this farce of a reconciliation is your way of tricking me into helping you."

"No Vegeta!" I cannot suppress my anger any longer. The falling tears of heartache evaporate over burning cheeks of ire. "This hasn't got anything to do with Capsule Corp. I mean can't you just for two seconds get over that damned ego of yours and see that the universe doesn't revolve around causing you pain. What I just gave you was my heart. I humbled myself in front of you. Apologised, declared my love for you, and you just waltz up to me and slap it right back in my face. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? But I guess you wouldn't because you don't even know what it is to feel!"

"The 'slap in the face' as you put it." He counters. "Is finding out that my own wife is deceiving me. Your speech was pretty but you skipped the issue at hand."

"That's because there is no issue! Yes!" I cede. "I found the files you stored. Yes!" I grind out bitterly. "I want to use them to help Capsule Corporation, but no! I am not apologising to you because I need your help. As if! I'm a genius! I don't need help from anyone!"

Vegeta steps closer to me. His face red with anger and I can almost see the last frayed edge of restraint as he balls his fists angrily to his sides. "Stop lying to me!"

"I'm not lying!" I scream at his face.

I expect him to get even angrier under my shouting, but instead he closes his eyes. Taking a step back, it isn't long before I can hear his lungs fleeting into a calculated chuckle. The tones vary as he struggles to claw in his emotions, but eventually flatten out to nothing short of vindictiveness.

"There is no need to worry. I know exactly how things stand. Deception has never been so distasteful to me as it is now. Do with it what you will. I will not waste any more time under it."

His body seems to force its posture up into intimidation and he points to my computer on the other side of the room.

"Finish preparing the ship. The sooner I leave the better for all concerned."

His only parting gesture is a cold, hard glare and all at once I am left on my own, wondering just what tornado has hit me. At this minute it feels as though all my strength is forsaking me and yet I cannot move. There is too much adrenalin mixing with anger to do anything other than shake uncontrollably.

"Fuck you Vegeta!" I curse in quiet anger, but it is all it takes to bring me to my knees and the tears to flow unchecked through my fingers. I can't control this anymore. I can't keep it all bottled up inside and it feels like my chest is going to explode as all the pain his words have inflicted rip through my tiny body. I ball my fists, futilely smashing them against the reinforced metal wall.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" The poison that adorns these words is slowly lessened and I lose all cohesion as the blood seeps from my knuckles. It stings as they mix with the salty tears, but right at this minute I couldn't care less.

My whole body crumples to the floor, and I give into the grief. This is it. I don't think we're coming back from this. I've apologised… told him I love him, what more can I possibly do to get through that thick head of his that I don't want us to be like this? I can't believe how much this has escalated. So now he doesn't even trust me? "Fuck!" I swear. The cheek of him! Does he really think that I would be so shallow as to apologise simply because I need his help! Like I told him before. I'm a genius. I must have at least fifty IQ points on him! "Arrogant, up himself son of a bitch!"

Sadness turns to action in a nanosecond. So he thinks I can't translate Saiyaningo into Japanese? Deluded Saiyan! I will show him. Oh fuck I will show the entire world Bulma Briefs does not need anyone's help. Sod them - sod them all! I'm going to do this all by myself. I'm going to save Capsule Corporation in my own way and once my company is the most successful business in the universe I will come back here to rub it in Vegeta's face.

"Oh yes Vegeta! I'll show you!"

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A/N - I hope you liked this chapter. *hugs* I could really use everybody's help though. You see I have come to a kind of crossroads in the story and have several roads I could possibly take. This fan fiction is (without a doubt) going to be an epic, but do you think that I should keep this entire story solely in Bulma's POV or should I do it in books. Making this the end of Bulma's Book and moving onto Vegeta's. Writing the next five or so chapters from his POV. I have ideas for both, which could each head the story in completely different directions. Please review and let me know what you think.

Ember