Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Goku's Cooking Tips ❯ Episode One ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: ultravegeta 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.23.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 338 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.23.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 338 | Status: Work In Progress
(cut to Goku wearing a chefs hat and bib)
Goku - Well hello folks! I'm Goku and welcome to 'Goku's Tipping Cooks Hour'! Err...I mean'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour! Yeah, thats right! (clears his throat) Now today we will be making an absolutely scrumptious Baloney Casserolle! Now first you take two extra thick layers of noodles and stick baloney in between each of them! Then, you add some delicious creamed baloney on top of it all as a wonderful sauce! And then, to complete the dilectable package, we add some sprinkled baloney bits all over the top! And voila we have a 'Baloney Casserole'! Now, just stick this baby in the oven for...um...I forget...(laughs embarrassedly) Uh, (whispers out of the side of his mouth) what's the frickin'
time for cooking this thing!
Crewmember - 20 minutes!
Goku - WHA!
Crewmember - 20 MINUTES!
Goku - Hmm, well folks it seems as if we're experiencing some techinical difficulties here! We'll be back in one moment! (does the 'cut' signal)
(silence)
Goku - (grabs the TV cameras violently) TURN THESE FING THINGS OFF-
Message: We apologize, but we're currently experiencing some technical difficulties.
(in the background): WHAT IS THE MOTHERFBEEPING COOKING TIME YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ASSWIPES-
(suddenly cuts back)
Goku - (strangling a crewmember violently) (notices he's back on TV) Oh! Hello again folks! (drops the strangled crew member) While we're waiting for my beautiful casserole to bake in the oven, I might as well show you a wonderful desert to serve with this meal! (walks over to another counter) I call it 'Goku's Special Creamed Baloney Delight'! First, you take two cans of creamed baloney and pour 'em into a bowl; then you dump a cups worth of curdled milk and soy sauce in with it and voila! You have a creamed baloney delight! (sniffs the bowl) Mmmm mmm! Baloney-licious! (smiles stupidly)
suddenly a loud buzzer goes off
Goku - AAHHHH! IT'S A BOMB! (flings himself through the wall and covers his head)
Director - ...
Goku - (cowering) Huh! Oh, silly me! It's just the darn oven! (laughs) Ah, how stupid of me...(whispers at the crew) When I'm done with this fing show, I'm going to ram this casserole up your assesNow folks, let's take a look at how the Casserolle turned out! (pulls a smoldering handful of gunk out of the oven) Erm...Well, it seems as if I left this sucker for too long in the oven...(laughs nervously) Just a minute folks.
(cut to black)
(sounds of Goku murdering a crewmember)
(cut back to the show)
Goku - (covered in blood) You know, it's a good thing I keep a backup casserole in case of situations like this! (looks around frantically) (laughs angrily) What happened to my backup casserole...
Director - Er, Scott from editing ate it for lunch a while ago...
Goku - (face turns red and begins to bulge with veins)
Director - Well, if it's any consollation, he's been running to the toilet and complaining of severe abdominal cramping ever since he ate it!
Goku - (gives the director a death glare) Well now, what a funny day this has been, eh folks! Let's just cut to later on at dinner to see what my guests think of the casserole!
(later on, at Goku's dinner party)
Goku - (emerges from his kitchen wearing a tophat and bowtie) Well here we are at dinner, and here are my wonderful guests!
(camera pans around showing Vegeta, Bulma, Yamcha, and Gohan)
Vegeta - You know Kakarott, you look like a complete moron dressed like that
Goku - Ah hahahaha! Such great humour at my dinner gettogethers! (pulls out a baton from nowhere and whacks it over vegeta's head)
Vegeta - (slumps over face first into a dish of Goku's baloney casserole)
Goku - Heh, would you look at that! This guy loves my cooking so much that he can't even wait for all of us to start! (laughs again)
Chichi - Goku, I think he's dead
Goku - And now, let us all say grace before eating...Oh Lord, thank you for this bountiful meal of baloney and meat byproducts that you have bestowed upon us...
Gohan - Amen!
Goku - (hits Gohan over the head with his tophat) QUIET! I'm not done saying grace yet! (lowers his head again) And thank you for the cheese, and the noodles, and the soy sauce, and the dinner table, and the cutlery, and the...
Director - Oh God, here we go again...
(six hours later)
Goku - ...and the fireants, and the typewriters, and the cockroaches, and the douchebags, and the
Yamcha - AMEN! (digs in to his meal)
Goku - Eh man! Let's eat! ErVegeta! You know it's bad manners to go head first into your food! BAD BOY(breaks a chair over his head)
Vegeta - (jerks upward from pain) AAAAaaaaaagghhh!
Goku - Now that's more like it!
Gohan - Dad, this casserole tastes like sewage dump...
Audience - (laughs and giggles)
Goku - (laughs loudly) (whispers) I'm going to murder you after this show is over you little sh...Now then, seeing as how everyones either finished eating or getting their stomach pumped for medical reasons, let's go for desert!
Vegeta - Actually Kakarott, I think it's time we get going, right darling? (starts to get up)
Goku - (chuckles and hits a small button hidden under the table)
Vegeta - (suddenly falls to the floor convulsing and foaming at the mouth)
Bulma - ...
Goku - Hah! My trusty 'electric chair' button always works! (smiles)
Audience - (applauds)
Goku - (bows) Now let's go see how that Cream A La Baloney is doing in the kitchen! (walks away)
(suddenly there is an enourmous explosion which sends Goku flying through a wall and onto the table)
Goku - (holding a flaming vat of Baloney) Done!
Goku - Well folks, I hope you all enjoyed this weeks episode of 'Goku's Cooking Tips' I know I did! Tune in next week for more delicious recipes from your favourite buddy, Goku!
Director - And...CUT!
Goku - Whoo! What a great show, eh guys! And now for my afternoon snack...(takes out an enourmous vaccum-like tube attached to a vat of creamed baloney and proceeds to suck on it)
Director - Those cameras had better not be rolling.
disclaimer: the staff of the Goku's Cooking Tip Show takes no responsibility for any harms or damages inflicted by consuming or just being around Goku's food
Goku - Well hello folks! I'm Goku and welcome to 'Goku's Tipping Cooks Hour'! Err...I mean'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour! Yeah, thats right! (clears his throat) Now today we will be making an absolutely scrumptious Baloney Casserolle! Now first you take two extra thick layers of noodles and stick baloney in between each of them! Then, you add some delicious creamed baloney on top of it all as a wonderful sauce! And then, to complete the dilectable package, we add some sprinkled baloney bits all over the top! And voila we have a 'Baloney Casserole'! Now, just stick this baby in the oven for...um...I forget...(laughs embarrassedly) Uh, (whispers out of the side of his mouth) what's the frickin'
time for cooking this thing!
Crewmember - 20 minutes!
Goku - WHA!
Crewmember - 20 MINUTES!
Goku - Hmm, well folks it seems as if we're experiencing some techinical difficulties here! We'll be back in one moment! (does the 'cut' signal)
(silence)
Goku - (grabs the TV cameras violently) TURN THESE FING THINGS OFF-
Message: We apologize, but we're currently experiencing some technical difficulties.
(in the background): WHAT IS THE MOTHERFBEEPING COOKING TIME YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ASSWIPES-
(suddenly cuts back)
Goku - (strangling a crewmember violently) (notices he's back on TV) Oh! Hello again folks! (drops the strangled crew member) While we're waiting for my beautiful casserole to bake in the oven, I might as well show you a wonderful desert to serve with this meal! (walks over to another counter) I call it 'Goku's Special Creamed Baloney Delight'! First, you take two cans of creamed baloney and pour 'em into a bowl; then you dump a cups worth of curdled milk and soy sauce in with it and voila! You have a creamed baloney delight! (sniffs the bowl) Mmmm mmm! Baloney-licious! (smiles stupidly)
suddenly a loud buzzer goes off
Goku - AAHHHH! IT'S A BOMB! (flings himself through the wall and covers his head)
Director - ...
Goku - (cowering) Huh! Oh, silly me! It's just the darn oven! (laughs) Ah, how stupid of me...(whispers at the crew) When I'm done with this fing show, I'm going to ram this casserole up your assesNow folks, let's take a look at how the Casserolle turned out! (pulls a smoldering handful of gunk out of the oven) Erm...Well, it seems as if I left this sucker for too long in the oven...(laughs nervously) Just a minute folks.
(cut to black)
(sounds of Goku murdering a crewmember)
(cut back to the show)
Goku - (covered in blood) You know, it's a good thing I keep a backup casserole in case of situations like this! (looks around frantically) (laughs angrily) What happened to my backup casserole...
Director - Er, Scott from editing ate it for lunch a while ago...
Goku - (face turns red and begins to bulge with veins)
Director - Well, if it's any consollation, he's been running to the toilet and complaining of severe abdominal cramping ever since he ate it!
Goku - (gives the director a death glare) Well now, what a funny day this has been, eh folks! Let's just cut to later on at dinner to see what my guests think of the casserole!
(later on, at Goku's dinner party)
Goku - (emerges from his kitchen wearing a tophat and bowtie) Well here we are at dinner, and here are my wonderful guests!
(camera pans around showing Vegeta, Bulma, Yamcha, and Gohan)
Vegeta - You know Kakarott, you look like a complete moron dressed like that
Goku - Ah hahahaha! Such great humour at my dinner gettogethers! (pulls out a baton from nowhere and whacks it over vegeta's head)
Vegeta - (slumps over face first into a dish of Goku's baloney casserole)
Goku - Heh, would you look at that! This guy loves my cooking so much that he can't even wait for all of us to start! (laughs again)
Chichi - Goku, I think he's dead
Goku - And now, let us all say grace before eating...Oh Lord, thank you for this bountiful meal of baloney and meat byproducts that you have bestowed upon us...
Gohan - Amen!
Goku - (hits Gohan over the head with his tophat) QUIET! I'm not done saying grace yet! (lowers his head again) And thank you for the cheese, and the noodles, and the soy sauce, and the dinner table, and the cutlery, and the...
Director - Oh God, here we go again...
(six hours later)
Goku - ...and the fireants, and the typewriters, and the cockroaches, and the douchebags, and the
Yamcha - AMEN! (digs in to his meal)
Goku - Eh man! Let's eat! ErVegeta! You know it's bad manners to go head first into your food! BAD BOY(breaks a chair over his head)
Vegeta - (jerks upward from pain) AAAAaaaaaagghhh!
Goku - Now that's more like it!
Gohan - Dad, this casserole tastes like sewage dump...
Audience - (laughs and giggles)
Goku - (laughs loudly) (whispers) I'm going to murder you after this show is over you little sh...Now then, seeing as how everyones either finished eating or getting their stomach pumped for medical reasons, let's go for desert!
Vegeta - Actually Kakarott, I think it's time we get going, right darling? (starts to get up)
Goku - (chuckles and hits a small button hidden under the table)
Vegeta - (suddenly falls to the floor convulsing and foaming at the mouth)
Bulma - ...
Goku - Hah! My trusty 'electric chair' button always works! (smiles)
Audience - (applauds)
Goku - (bows) Now let's go see how that Cream A La Baloney is doing in the kitchen! (walks away)
(suddenly there is an enourmous explosion which sends Goku flying through a wall and onto the table)
Goku - (holding a flaming vat of Baloney) Done!
Goku - Well folks, I hope you all enjoyed this weeks episode of 'Goku's Cooking Tips' I know I did! Tune in next week for more delicious recipes from your favourite buddy, Goku!
Director - And...CUT!
Goku - Whoo! What a great show, eh guys! And now for my afternoon snack...(takes out an enourmous vaccum-like tube attached to a vat of creamed baloney and proceeds to suck on it)
Director - Those cameras had better not be rolling.
disclaimer: the staff of the Goku's Cooking Tip Show takes no responsibility for any harms or damages inflicted by consuming or just being around Goku's food