Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Goku's Cooking Tips ❯ Episode Two ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: ultravegeta 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.23.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 888 | Visits: 282 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.23.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 888 | Visits: 282 | Status: Work In Progress
(cut to Goku wearing a giant lobster bib and feathered hat)
Goku - Well hello once again folks, and welcome to another episode of 'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour'! (smiles idiotically)
Director - We really need to get this guy a new wardrobe...
Goku - Now today on the show, I will be teaching you on how to make an absolutely scrumptious 'Baloney and Byproduct' pie! First, you take five cans of creamed baloney and add it to a large cooking pan. Then you take a healthy serving of meat byproducts, including: horse testicles, chicken lips, pig ovaries, and all that other good stuff! Now once you've mixed all of this together, you just stick it in the oven for 20 minutes and your ready to eat! Let's see how things go...
(message: twenty minutes later...)
Goku - (covered in burnt baloney and meat byproducts) Well folks, it seems I accidentally stuck the pie inside of the microwave instead of an oven...(laughs nervously) Oh well, you know how they say it: ya only learn from your mistakes! .and severe third degree burns; but I digress! Now, while this sucka is cooking away in the oven, let me show you todays desert of choice. (reaches behind a counter and pulls out a tub containing a gelatinous substance) 'Baloney Jello! Perfect for those occaisons where you need a quick and delicious snack to please your dinner guests! (takes a mouthfull of the pink coloured jello)... (suddenly looks violently ill)...One moment folks. (runs off screen frantically)
(sounds of vomiting and severe gas)
(twelve minutes later...)
Goku - (emerges back onto screen looking deathly ill) I guess I forgot to mention to cook the baloney before adding to your jello, hah hah hah hah...
Paramedic - (rushes onto the screen) Sir, you need to lay down flat on your back!
Goku - (lays down) Now while these fine men pump my stomach for various reasons, let's cut to my dinner party later on in the day and see how my guests like the meal!
Paramedic - (sticks a huge tube down Goku's mouth)
Goku - Ooooh, this tickles! (starts giggling)
(later on at Goku's dinner get-together)
Goku - Hello again folks! Well, now that I've recovered from my severe case of baloney-induced botulism, let's get dinner started! (goes into the kitchen)
Vegeta - (loads a gun and puts it to his head)
Goku - (emerges from the kitchen) Well guys, it seems as if I let the pie sit out for too long; the darn things ice cold! So, I'll just stick it in the microwave for a few minutes, and then we can feast! (goes back into the kitchen and emerges again) (sits down at the dinner table and starts twiddling his thumbs)
(six hours later)
Goku - (still twiddling his thumbs)
Chichi - Uh...Goku?
Goku - Yesssssss darling?
Chichi - ...the pie?
Goku - The pie?...JESUS CHRIST, THE PIE! (runs off frantically into the kitchen)
Chichi - ...
Goku - (emerges holding the pie, which is now glowing green) Well folks, it seems I left the pie in the microwave for just a little too long. (chuckles) Five hours too long...
Gohan - Dad, I think that things radioactive...
Goku - Ah, it won't do ya any harm! Look! (takes a slice and bites into it) Ya see? I'm fine! In fact, the radiation gives it a nice tangy flavour! (continues eating)
Gohan - (cautiously takes a bite)
Vegeta - (grabs the plate of food and flings it out the window) Gee would you look at that; your house must be haunted Kakarott!
Goku - ...
Gohan - Uh dad, my mouth feels like its on fire...
Goku - (now glowing green) Must be the extra spices I added!
Gohan - (jaw falls off onto the floor)
Goku - Ah hahahahahahaha! What a riot this kid is! (laughs uncontrollably)
Gohan - (falls to the floor twitching and glowing)
Goku - Ah...well, now that we're finished with the main course and are all suffering from severe radiation poisoning, let's get desert ready
(suddenly, four men dressed in Hazmat suits come barging into the house)
Hazmat Man - Holy crap, we got a level 4 contamination situation here! Quaranteen the zone immediately!
Goku - Oh don't worry fellas, it's just my delicious pie! Here, have a slice!
Chichi - (hemorhagging from the mouth and nose)
Goku - (glowing radioactively) Well folks, this again wraps up another episode of 'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour'! See you next week! (arm falls off) Hmmm, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.
Announcer - And here is 'Goku's Specialty Radioactive Baloney Pie' recipe again, in case you missed it the first time!
Add 5 cups of creamed baloney to a cooking pan and then cover it with a healthy serving of meat byproducts. Then let it sit in the oven for 20 minutes and remove. If you would like your pie to glow and be highly radioactive (and have that wonderfully tangy taste!) then just let it sit in the microwave for six hours!
Goku - Well hello once again folks, and welcome to another episode of 'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour'! (smiles idiotically)
Director - We really need to get this guy a new wardrobe...
Goku - Now today on the show, I will be teaching you on how to make an absolutely scrumptious 'Baloney and Byproduct' pie! First, you take five cans of creamed baloney and add it to a large cooking pan. Then you take a healthy serving of meat byproducts, including: horse testicles, chicken lips, pig ovaries, and all that other good stuff! Now once you've mixed all of this together, you just stick it in the oven for 20 minutes and your ready to eat! Let's see how things go...
(message: twenty minutes later...)
Goku - (covered in burnt baloney and meat byproducts) Well folks, it seems I accidentally stuck the pie inside of the microwave instead of an oven...(laughs nervously) Oh well, you know how they say it: ya only learn from your mistakes! .and severe third degree burns; but I digress! Now, while this sucka is cooking away in the oven, let me show you todays desert of choice. (reaches behind a counter and pulls out a tub containing a gelatinous substance) 'Baloney Jello! Perfect for those occaisons where you need a quick and delicious snack to please your dinner guests! (takes a mouthfull of the pink coloured jello)... (suddenly looks violently ill)...One moment folks. (runs off screen frantically)
(sounds of vomiting and severe gas)
(twelve minutes later...)
Goku - (emerges back onto screen looking deathly ill) I guess I forgot to mention to cook the baloney before adding to your jello, hah hah hah hah...
Paramedic - (rushes onto the screen) Sir, you need to lay down flat on your back!
Goku - (lays down) Now while these fine men pump my stomach for various reasons, let's cut to my dinner party later on in the day and see how my guests like the meal!
Paramedic - (sticks a huge tube down Goku's mouth)
Goku - Ooooh, this tickles! (starts giggling)
(later on at Goku's dinner get-together)
Goku - Hello again folks! Well, now that I've recovered from my severe case of baloney-induced botulism, let's get dinner started! (goes into the kitchen)
Vegeta - (loads a gun and puts it to his head)
Goku - (emerges from the kitchen) Well guys, it seems as if I let the pie sit out for too long; the darn things ice cold! So, I'll just stick it in the microwave for a few minutes, and then we can feast! (goes back into the kitchen and emerges again) (sits down at the dinner table and starts twiddling his thumbs)
(six hours later)
Goku - (still twiddling his thumbs)
Chichi - Uh...Goku?
Goku - Yesssssss darling?
Chichi - ...the pie?
Goku - The pie?...JESUS CHRIST, THE PIE! (runs off frantically into the kitchen)
Chichi - ...
Goku - (emerges holding the pie, which is now glowing green) Well folks, it seems I left the pie in the microwave for just a little too long. (chuckles) Five hours too long...
Gohan - Dad, I think that things radioactive...
Goku - Ah, it won't do ya any harm! Look! (takes a slice and bites into it) Ya see? I'm fine! In fact, the radiation gives it a nice tangy flavour! (continues eating)
Gohan - (cautiously takes a bite)
Vegeta - (grabs the plate of food and flings it out the window) Gee would you look at that; your house must be haunted Kakarott!
Goku - ...
Gohan - Uh dad, my mouth feels like its on fire...
Goku - (now glowing green) Must be the extra spices I added!
Gohan - (jaw falls off onto the floor)
Goku - Ah hahahahahahaha! What a riot this kid is! (laughs uncontrollably)
Gohan - (falls to the floor twitching and glowing)
Goku - Ah...well, now that we're finished with the main course and are all suffering from severe radiation poisoning, let's get desert ready
(suddenly, four men dressed in Hazmat suits come barging into the house)
Hazmat Man - Holy crap, we got a level 4 contamination situation here! Quaranteen the zone immediately!
Goku - Oh don't worry fellas, it's just my delicious pie! Here, have a slice!
Chichi - (hemorhagging from the mouth and nose)
Goku - (glowing radioactively) Well folks, this again wraps up another episode of 'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour'! See you next week! (arm falls off) Hmmm, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.
Announcer - And here is 'Goku's Specialty Radioactive Baloney Pie' recipe again, in case you missed it the first time!
Add 5 cups of creamed baloney to a cooking pan and then cover it with a healthy serving of meat byproducts. Then let it sit in the oven for 20 minutes and remove. If you would like your pie to glow and be highly radioactive (and have that wonderfully tangy taste!) then just let it sit in the microwave for six hours!