Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Goku's Cooking Tips ❯ Episode Four ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: ultravegeta 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.23.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 240 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.23.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 240 | Status: Work In Progress
(cut to Goku in a full body cast with a tophat on)
Goku - Well hello folks, and welcome to the fourth installment of 'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour'! Well after yesterdays show, I got into a bit of a...scuffle with some fine police officers who wanted to arrest me for poisoning my family and all...and uh, to make a long story short, I ended up having every bone in my body broken! But I digress...So today, my faithful assisstant Piccolo will be doing all the cooking for me!
Piccolo - Wha...YOU SAID WE WERE GOING OUT TO FIGHT FREEZA!
Goku - (laughs nervously) What a witless dope...Now anyways, like I promised yesterday, today we will be showing you how to make 'Deep Fried Baloney with Taters'! Piccolo, wheel me over to the counter you good for nothing lackie!
Piccolo - (incinerates Goku with a beam)
Goku - (smoldering) ...
(and now it's time for a 'conveniently placed commercial'!)
Baloney Spokesperson - Hello my name is Charles Rutherford, and I am talking to you as a representative of the 'World Baloney Industry'. We in no way...
(and now, back to the show!)
Goku - (still smoldering) Well hello again folks, and welcome back to the show! I'm now over at my cooking counter, no thanks to my lackie Piccolo...
Piccolo - (smoking a big one in the corner)
Goku - So then, let's get started! (long silence) Piccolo!
Piccolo - What! Oh right, the cooking...(walks over to Goku)
Goku - Now all you need to make this delicious meal is some spare baloney, some store bough tater tots, and a deep frier! If you don't have a deep frier, then simply borrow or steal one from your neighbour!
(meanwhile, at Vegeta's house)
Vegeta - Hmmm, I think I'm going to make my famous 'Deep Fried Arlian' for dinner tonight!
Bulma - Oooh, sounds good!
Vegeta - (walks into the kitchen) Wha...WHERE THE HELL IS MY DEEP FRIER!
(back at Goku's studio)
Goku - Heh heh heh heh...Now first you have to set your deep frier to maximum, so you get that nice crispyness to your baloney and taters! Piccolo, you can have the honors.
Piccolo - Oh joy. (flips the deep-frier switch)
Goku - And now, all you simply do is dump your baloney and taters inside, wait 20 minutes and voila! You have your deep fried meal all ready to go! Piccolo, get dumping.
Piccolo - (mumbling obscenities under his breath) (dumps the baloney and taters into the deep frier)
Goku - Wha...NO YOU IDIOT, YOU DON'T PUT THEM BOTH IN AT THE SAME TIME! JESUS, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO KILL US ALL!
Piccolo - But I...
Goku - (breaks out of his body cast and smacks Piccolo out of the way) Good God! Look what you've done! And so help me God if this screws up my dinner...(looks inside the deep frier) Well...here goes nothing! I gotta get these taters out of here, or we could end up with a core explosion! (goes in head first into the deep frier)
(loud sizzling sounds)
Goku - (head first in the deep frier) OH MY GOD IT BURNS! AAAAEUURRRGHHHH!
Piccolo - ...
Goku - (comes out with his upper body deep fried) Good Lord that hurt...But here I have the taters, and all is well again! ...No thanks to my son of a bitch good-for-nothing asswipe assisstant here,
but none-the-less!
Piccolo - (releases a cage of ravenous ferrets)
Goku - So then, let's go over and make some desert(gets mauled by the ferrets) AEUUGHHHH!
(rolling around on the floor covered in ferrets)
Piccolo - Hahahahahahaha! Now THAT is entertainment! (leaves the studio)
Goku - (gets up slowly) Okay...now that those ferrets are done eating me alive, let's see what we'll be having for desert tonight at my little shindig! (limps over to another counter) Now for todays show I had a specially custom made cake baked for me! It cost a lot of money and put this show into a huge debt, but trust me, it'llwha...WHERE THE HELL IS MY CUSTOM MADE, GOLD ENCRUSTED, DIAMOND COVERED ROYAL CAKE!
(meanwhile)
Piccolo - (walking down the street eating Goku's diamond encrusted cake)
(back at Goku's studio)
Goku - Well...it seems that some...culprit...has stolen my royal made cake...so then...might as well check on that baloney now...(walks over to the deep frier) Ah! Well at least something worked out tonight! (reaches into the deep frier with large tongs and pulls the baloney out) (looks into the camera) It's 'Baloney-Tacular'!
Audience - (silent)
(a tumbleweed rolls by)
Goku - (sweatdrop)
Audience Member - (coughs)
Goku - Okay then...let's just cut to dinner later on.
(later on at Goku's dinner party)
Goku - (emerges from his kitchen with both of his arms deep fried) Hello again folks! Now I will be serving my deep fried baloney and taters...(notices that everyone is giving him a funny look) What.
WHAT! You think I look funny! You think that having your arms deep fried twice is FUNNY!
(silence)
Goku - Yeah, that's what I thought! Now anyways, like I was saying
Gohan - (chuckles lightly)
Goku - (turns his head slowly towards Gohan) What the hell was that...did you just chuckle at me?...
Gohan - (tries to look serious)
Goku - SO HELP ME GOD, IF ONE MORE PERSON LAUGHS AT ME OR MY DEEP FRIED ARMS, I WILL GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH THESE SALAD TONGS HERE!
(silence)
Goku - Ahem! Now then...before we start dinner I would like to thank Vegeta for donating his wonderful deep-frier to the show for todays episode! Vegeta, we greatly appreciate it.
Vegeta - Wha...DONATED IT! YOU STOLE IT FROM ME YOU FAT MONKEY BASTARD! (leaps at Goku and tackles him to the floor)
(message: we're sorry, but we're currently experiencing technical difficulties at the moment. Please stand by.)
(sounds of Vegeta pummelling Goku in the background)
(five minutes and one very long beating later...at Goku's house...)
Goku - (covered in bruises and cuts) Now that Vegeta has finished beating me into the ground because I...'stole' his deep frier, let's get on to eating! (bows his head down) Lord, thank you for this wonderful meal of
Chichi - Uh Goku, where are the taters?
Goku - (slowly raises his head) (looks around nervously) Erm...there was a little...accident with them...
Chichi - ...
Goku - (lifts his deep fried arms, revealing taters stuck all over them)
Gohan - LET'S EAT! (jumps on top of Goku and starts eating away at the taters)
(Bulma, Vegeta and Chichi join in)
Goku - (flailing his arms wildly) OH MY GOD THAT HURTS! OH THE HUMANITY! (tries to get up, but trips and falls back down, sending his tophat into the fireplace) MY HAT!
YOU BASTARDS LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! (blows the entire house up)
(back at Goku's studio)
Goku - I can't do this without my tophat! (starts sobbing) Oh how I miss my hat...(suddenly notices that he's on TV) Eh...Hello folks! I hope you enjoyed this new episode of 'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour'! Join me tomorrow when not only will I have a brand new hat, but I will also make some delicious 'Baloney Encrusted Pancakes'! G'BYE!
Goku - Well hello folks, and welcome to the fourth installment of 'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour'! Well after yesterdays show, I got into a bit of a...scuffle with some fine police officers who wanted to arrest me for poisoning my family and all...and uh, to make a long story short, I ended up having every bone in my body broken! But I digress...So today, my faithful assisstant Piccolo will be doing all the cooking for me!
Piccolo - Wha...YOU SAID WE WERE GOING OUT TO FIGHT FREEZA!
Goku - (laughs nervously) What a witless dope...Now anyways, like I promised yesterday, today we will be showing you how to make 'Deep Fried Baloney with Taters'! Piccolo, wheel me over to the counter you good for nothing lackie!
Piccolo - (incinerates Goku with a beam)
Goku - (smoldering) ...
(and now it's time for a 'conveniently placed commercial'!)
Baloney Spokesperson - Hello my name is Charles Rutherford, and I am talking to you as a representative of the 'World Baloney Industry'. We in no way...
(and now, back to the show!)
Goku - (still smoldering) Well hello again folks, and welcome back to the show! I'm now over at my cooking counter, no thanks to my lackie Piccolo...
Piccolo - (smoking a big one in the corner)
Goku - So then, let's get started! (long silence) Piccolo!
Piccolo - What! Oh right, the cooking...(walks over to Goku)
Goku - Now all you need to make this delicious meal is some spare baloney, some store bough tater tots, and a deep frier! If you don't have a deep frier, then simply borrow or steal one from your neighbour!
(meanwhile, at Vegeta's house)
Vegeta - Hmmm, I think I'm going to make my famous 'Deep Fried Arlian' for dinner tonight!
Bulma - Oooh, sounds good!
Vegeta - (walks into the kitchen) Wha...WHERE THE HELL IS MY DEEP FRIER!
(back at Goku's studio)
Goku - Heh heh heh heh...Now first you have to set your deep frier to maximum, so you get that nice crispyness to your baloney and taters! Piccolo, you can have the honors.
Piccolo - Oh joy. (flips the deep-frier switch)
Goku - And now, all you simply do is dump your baloney and taters inside, wait 20 minutes and voila! You have your deep fried meal all ready to go! Piccolo, get dumping.
Piccolo - (mumbling obscenities under his breath) (dumps the baloney and taters into the deep frier)
Goku - Wha...NO YOU IDIOT, YOU DON'T PUT THEM BOTH IN AT THE SAME TIME! JESUS, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO KILL US ALL!
Piccolo - But I...
Goku - (breaks out of his body cast and smacks Piccolo out of the way) Good God! Look what you've done! And so help me God if this screws up my dinner...(looks inside the deep frier) Well...here goes nothing! I gotta get these taters out of here, or we could end up with a core explosion! (goes in head first into the deep frier)
(loud sizzling sounds)
Goku - (head first in the deep frier) OH MY GOD IT BURNS! AAAAEUURRRGHHHH!
Piccolo - ...
Goku - (comes out with his upper body deep fried) Good Lord that hurt...But here I have the taters, and all is well again! ...No thanks to my son of a bitch good-for-nothing asswipe assisstant here,
but none-the-less!
Piccolo - (releases a cage of ravenous ferrets)
Goku - So then, let's go over and make some desert(gets mauled by the ferrets) AEUUGHHHH!
(rolling around on the floor covered in ferrets)
Piccolo - Hahahahahahaha! Now THAT is entertainment! (leaves the studio)
Goku - (gets up slowly) Okay...now that those ferrets are done eating me alive, let's see what we'll be having for desert tonight at my little shindig! (limps over to another counter) Now for todays show I had a specially custom made cake baked for me! It cost a lot of money and put this show into a huge debt, but trust me, it'llwha...WHERE THE HELL IS MY CUSTOM MADE, GOLD ENCRUSTED, DIAMOND COVERED ROYAL CAKE!
(meanwhile)
Piccolo - (walking down the street eating Goku's diamond encrusted cake)
(back at Goku's studio)
Goku - Well...it seems that some...culprit...has stolen my royal made cake...so then...might as well check on that baloney now...(walks over to the deep frier) Ah! Well at least something worked out tonight! (reaches into the deep frier with large tongs and pulls the baloney out) (looks into the camera) It's 'Baloney-Tacular'!
Audience - (silent)
(a tumbleweed rolls by)
Goku - (sweatdrop)
Audience Member - (coughs)
Goku - Okay then...let's just cut to dinner later on.
(later on at Goku's dinner party)
Goku - (emerges from his kitchen with both of his arms deep fried) Hello again folks! Now I will be serving my deep fried baloney and taters...(notices that everyone is giving him a funny look) What.
WHAT! You think I look funny! You think that having your arms deep fried twice is FUNNY!
(silence)
Goku - Yeah, that's what I thought! Now anyways, like I was saying
Gohan - (chuckles lightly)
Goku - (turns his head slowly towards Gohan) What the hell was that...did you just chuckle at me?...
Gohan - (tries to look serious)
Goku - SO HELP ME GOD, IF ONE MORE PERSON LAUGHS AT ME OR MY DEEP FRIED ARMS, I WILL GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH THESE SALAD TONGS HERE!
(silence)
Goku - Ahem! Now then...before we start dinner I would like to thank Vegeta for donating his wonderful deep-frier to the show for todays episode! Vegeta, we greatly appreciate it.
Vegeta - Wha...DONATED IT! YOU STOLE IT FROM ME YOU FAT MONKEY BASTARD! (leaps at Goku and tackles him to the floor)
(message: we're sorry, but we're currently experiencing technical difficulties at the moment. Please stand by.)
(sounds of Vegeta pummelling Goku in the background)
(five minutes and one very long beating later...at Goku's house...)
Goku - (covered in bruises and cuts) Now that Vegeta has finished beating me into the ground because I...'stole' his deep frier, let's get on to eating! (bows his head down) Lord, thank you for this wonderful meal of
Chichi - Uh Goku, where are the taters?
Goku - (slowly raises his head) (looks around nervously) Erm...there was a little...accident with them...
Chichi - ...
Goku - (lifts his deep fried arms, revealing taters stuck all over them)
Gohan - LET'S EAT! (jumps on top of Goku and starts eating away at the taters)
(Bulma, Vegeta and Chichi join in)
Goku - (flailing his arms wildly) OH MY GOD THAT HURTS! OH THE HUMANITY! (tries to get up, but trips and falls back down, sending his tophat into the fireplace) MY HAT!
YOU BASTARDS LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! (blows the entire house up)
(back at Goku's studio)
Goku - I can't do this without my tophat! (starts sobbing) Oh how I miss my hat...(suddenly notices that he's on TV) Eh...Hello folks! I hope you enjoyed this new episode of 'Goku's Cooking Tips Hour'! Join me tomorrow when not only will I have a brand new hat, but I will also make some delicious 'Baloney Encrusted Pancakes'! G'BYE!