Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Goku the Monkey King ❯ Last Gamble Lost ( Chapter 5 )

Goku the Monkey King

Part 5

[Goku is seen lying on a tree branch, trying to catch his breath]

Goku: Whoa! *huff, huff* ……… they don't give up easily, do they?

Narrator: Monkey had made his way back to the Earth, but by this time, he was thoroughly exhausted.

Goku: I'm downright pooped! *huff, huff*

Narrator: I just said that.

Goku: No, you said I was thoroughly exhausted. I said I was pooped!

Narrator: IT'S THE SAME FRIGGIN' THING!!!

Goku: (shrugs) Whatever…

Narrator: (throws a rock at Goku)

Goku: (gets hit in the head) Ow!

Narrator: Now shut up and do your part!

Goku: (rubbing the bump on his head) Ok, ok… take it easy!…

Narrator: Just then, Buddha summoned Monkey up to Heaven with his great power…

[Goku suddenly finds himself in Heaven with everyone giving him dirty looks]

Goku: (gulps) Oh…boy…

Narrator: (looks around) Um… where's Buddha? (looks through the character list) Who's playing Buddha's part?! He's supposed to be on the stage NOW!

[Snoring is heard backstage]

Narrator: WHO THE HELL IS SLEEPING AT A TIME LIKE THIS!? WHERE'S MASTER ROSHI? HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ON STAGE!

Bulma: (peeks out from behind the curtain) You cast that pervert as Buddha?! What were you thinking???!!

Narrator: Hey! It was either Master Roshi or Majin Buu! You take your pick!

Bulma: (gulps) Nevermind! Sorry I asked! (yelling) HEY! MASTER ROSHI! WAKE YOUR PERVERTED ASS UP!

Master Roshi: (wakes up) Huh? Wha…? Oh! I'm on! (drops a whole bunch of porno magazines as he rushes to the stage) Oh! Here I am! I am the all-powerful Buddha!

Goku: (scratches his head) Hmm… you're not as impressive… (glances at Narrator)

Narrator: (aiming a gun at Goku) Say your lines, monkey-boy…

Goku: (eyes bug out and he clears his throat) I-I-I-I mean… uh… Whoa… It's Buddha!

Narrator: (clears throat and mutters quietly) That's better… (normal voice) Buddha had summoned Monkey up to Heaven to discuss Monkey's erratic behavior.

Master Roshi: (clears his throat) Monkey, you've been causing a lot of trouble around here, and I've been called here to set things straight. What do you have to say for yourself?

Goku: Um… (tail twitches nervously) …well, uh… (points to the Heavenly court) They started it! They humiliated me!

Piccolo: You little upstart!

Kami: If you had just stayed put on the Earth, none of this would have happened!

King Kai: Why'd you have to take my greatest weapon anyway, huh?

King Yemma: You had no business erasing names out of the book of death!

Master Roshi: Enough! Now Monkey, you want to be the Emperor of Heaven, don't you?

Goku: (smiles) Sure do! I deserve it after all the mean things they've been doing to me!

Master Roshi: Very well, Monkey, you can have the throne of Heaven…

Kami: WHAT?!

Piccolo: Buddha!?

King Kai: Are you crazy?!

Master Roshi: Will you all just let me finish??? (to Monkey) The throne of Heaven will be yours… IF (holds out his hand) you can jump out of my hand…

Narrator: Monkey looked at the size of Buddha's hand and laughed.

Goku: Haha! That's all?

Master Roshi: That's all, you have my word.

Goku: (grins) This'll be easy as pie!

Master Roshi: We'll see…

[Scene darkens and when it lightens, Goku is hopping about happily]

Narrator: Monkey hopped into Buddha's hand, then leapt away, feeling victorious.

Goku: Haha! I've left them all so far behind, I bet they think I'm not coming back! (continues to run)

[Four pillars come into view]

Narrator: Monkey ran and jumped a long way until he finally came to some pillars and stopped to take a rest.

Goku: Wow, I must've jumped so far that I'm at the edge of the universe! Heh, bet I'm the first one here too! Better leave my mark…

Narrator: (looks a little disgusted, but continues) So Monkey scribbled his name onto one of the pillars and peed at the base of it.

Goku: (drops his pants, but nothings coming out) Uh oh,… (nervously over at the Narrator) Um…we've got a little problem here…

Narrator: (fuming, but trying to stay calm) What's… the problem?

Goku: I don't have to pee…

Narrator: (bangs her head several times against the podium) Why do these kinds of things always happen to me?

Master Roshi: (backstage) I'm not complaining! I know I sure as hell don't want some kid peeing on my hand!

Narrator: SHADDAP, ROSHI!

Goku: Sorry…

Narrator: Goku, how come you don't have to pee right now? Didn't you drink a glass of water before we got started like I told you to?

Goku: Yeah,… but…

Narrator: But… what?

Goku: Well,… um… I had to pee before we got started, so I went to the bathroom…

Narrator: YOU IDIOT! You were supposed to save that for this scene!

Goku: Sorry, but… I couldn't hold it any longer…

Narrator: For someone with a stomach as big as yours, you've sure got a pretty small bladder!

Goku: What's a bladder?

Narrator: (bangs head on podium) Nevermind… let's just say you did and get this part over with!

Goku: No! Wait! I think I've got a little! (pees a little bit against the pillar) Ahhh…

Narrator: (shakes her head) NOW he does it… oi…

Goku: (pulls his pants up) All done!

Narrator: Ok, then… (clears throat) Having made his mark on the pillar, Monkey returned to the Heavenly court and stood before them all.

[Scenery changes back to the Heavenly court]

Goku: Alright! I did it! I jumped out of Buddha's hand! The throne of Heaven is mine now!

Master Roshi: What are you talking about? (smiles) You never even left my hand!

Goku: WHAT!? No way! That's impossible! I made it all the way to the edge of the world! I even left my mark there if you want proof!

Master Roshi: (holds out his hand) You mean THIS proof?

Goku: (takes a closer look) AHHHH!!!!!

Narrator: It was true. There, on Buddha's fingers, was Monkey's tiny signature. Buddha's hand also reeked of Monkey pee…

Master Roshi: (shakes the pee off his hands) You sick little pest… that was disgusting!

Goku: (backing away) But…but…but…but…!!!

Master Roshi: No buts, Monkey. You would be given the throne of Heaven only if you were able to jump out of my hand, which you didn't. Now, you must be punished for your misbehavior!

Goku: AHH!! NO!! (starts running away)

Master Roshi: (calmly) Oh no you don't!

[A giant mountain falls from out of nowhere right on top of Goku]

Goku: AHHH! LEMME OUTTA HERE! THIS ISN'T FAIR!!

Master Roshi: It's plenty fair, Monkey, and you'll stay there, trapped under that mountain until the time comes for someone to free you. While you're waiting, why don't you think about all the bad things you've done and what you're going to do about it when you're finally freed!

Goku: Awww!

Narrator: And there Monkey stayed for countless centuries, waiting impatiently for someone to come along and finally free him. Just when Monkey was about to give up hope, someone did finally come along to help him…

~~~~~~~~~

This fic was WAAAAAAAAAAY overdue for an update! Glad I finally got around to updating it! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. There are more to come! After all, we can't have "The Journey to the West" without the actual journey, now, can we? ^_^

Liked it? Hated it? Tell me! It helps me write more and faster! Also, if there are any inaccuracies in the storyline, PLEASE feel free to tell me! I desperately want to be accurate, and with so few source of the chinese novel available on the web, that's a difficult thing to accomplish!