Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Green Horizons ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Green Horizons

By: Letta

Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own it. I have a cool action figure of Videl… and one of Goku. They're my muses. Though, right now, Goku's refusing to work for me… he's in a mood, just because I'm giving him a hard time. I had a point. What was it? Never mind, I guess I don't. You know, even though DBZ is on my list of rights to eventually own, it's not actually number one. I'm after Inu-Yasha, and then Yu Yu Hakusho. DBZ is third. It would be fourth, but I already own the rights to death…

Rating: R or NC-17 Wherever I decide to go with this.

Warnings: Well, I guess references to yaoi relationships, abuse… sort of… OOC, probably AU, later on there'll probably be some graphic sexual situations, and by probably, I mean there will be… maybe a little dark humor, some violence… and anything else that could possibly be offensive or ishy that might come up. Also, writer's block hit at the synopsis… that's why there is none. Oh, and now that this has come up, angst… specifically for Goku. He'll probably suffer.

Pairings: Piccolo x Bulma!!! Vegeta x Tien?

Notes: I have nothing left after that "disclaimer," if you could even call it that.

*denotes thought* "denotes speaking" //denotes flashbacks// #denotes whatever the hell I want it to denote#

Yamcha froze as the phone rang. He couldn't get to it before Diane, he knew that. The blood in his veins turned to ice and his body went numb as she picked up the receiver. It was like looking Death® in the face. *(Death® and all respective likenesses are property of Letta, who won the rights in a poker game.)

"Hello?" she answered. "No, he's not here, may I ask who's calling? Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Thank you, bye." She slowly turned to Yamcha, her eyes hardened crystals of black fire.

"Yamcha, dear," she began, her voice cold, "who is Sheila?"

"Sheila? She's… uh… no one."

"If she's no one, then why is she calling?"

"I have no idea! Really, I don't!" he squeaked, instinctively backing away. He wasn't sure if he would live to see tomorrow, but then, who is? Who can say with one hundred percent certainty that they will?

Diane gave him a withering stare that seemed to turn his feet to lead. He was rooted to the spot as she stalked towards him. She let out an angry snarl as she shot a fist out at him, connecting it with his jaw. Another one before he could block it snapped into his eye.

Diane had once been a professional boxer. She trained extensively over the years, usually practicing on her boyfriends. They were cheaper than punching bags. She idolized Mike Tyson, and although she had never tried biting off anyone's ear, she did manage to take a chunk out of someone's arm. She had done that long before his fight with Evander Holyfield, and since then believed that she and Mike were meant for each other. They probably were.

Yamcha, on the other hand, didn't care about Diane's abnormal obsession with the boxer, especially since he was bleeding profusely from the facial area. At the moment, all he cared about was seeing a medical professional.

*****

Bulma had directed Piccolo to the top of a three-story building, and was now busying herself with opening a capsule. Piccolo watched her with a great deal of interest as the capsule opened up into a large gym bag. The blue-haired beauty began fidgeting around inside the bag, finally producing an armful of what looked to be…

*Those aren't what I think they are, are they?* The namek wondered. When Bulma stood and turned to face him, his suspicions were confirmed. "And what are you planning on doing with those?"

"I think it's pretty obvious. We're standing on top of a building above a semi-busy street. What do you think I'm planning?" she asked, a devious smirk settling on her face. The namek stared at her for a moment before reaching out a hand.

"Give me one of those." The scientist complied, handing over a carton, and setting all but one on the ground between them. She got to work on opening hers up and selecting one of the white ovals.

Piccolo found himself a target, and waited with his arm extended over the sidewalk below. When the chosen man was a footstep away, he released his fragile shell and watched as it hit the man on the top of the head, cracking open and leaking its clear and yellow slime all over him. Piccolo and Bulma had ducked. The man stopped in shock, then anger welled up as he looked up shouting curses and shaking his fist. The pair crouched, attempting to stifle their laughter, but failing in escaped giggles and snorts.

They waited until the man had gone on before they stood again, looking for someone new to victimize. When a sharply dressed woman who looked to be in her early forties came down the walk, Bulma grinned at Piccolo. "My turn."

The scientist timed her drop, waiting until the woman was nearly directly below her before releasing her egg. Then ducking with her partner in crime immediately after she did so. The two not bothering to quell their laughter this time, which only helped to infuriate the shouts from below.

****

Goku sniffed the air around him. His prince had come this way. He had been trailing the man's scent for nearly thirty minutes after being unsuccessful in sensing him out. *Is this some kind of game?* The saiyan was more than thoroughly frustrated, not to mention confused.

When Vegeta had asked him for a glass of water, he had gone inside to get him just that, but then a sudden drop in the man's ki signature had easily caught his attention. When a power level that large just plummets, it's hard to miss. He had immediately forgotten about the water then, and ran outside to find Vegeta nowhere in sight.

At first, he had gone about searching for him calmly, but when he couldn't sense him anywhere, he began to worry. All out panic would be a better description.

Goku then caught a whiff of him, and preceded to track him the one way that he could: through scent. For three blocks, it was really strong, but then it began to ebb. At the city limits, he asked a few people milling about if they had seen him, finally getting some answers from a man who was working at a restaurant.

Vegeta had gotten out of a cab and started laughing like he had lost his mind. Then, he popped open a capsule car, got in and left. The man couldn't figure out why he had taken a taxi.

*****

Bulma and Piccolo each turned a carton upside-down on some poor woman's head, showering her with a torrent of fetal chicken slime. The couple laughed hysterically at the woman's shrieks and profanity, pointing at her all the while. They glanced up the street, however, when they noticed a man coming down the sidewalk carrying what appeared to be a large mallet.

What they didn't know was that this man was named Burt, and he was a kai. He gave and took life freely, and his platinum mallet was more than a symbol of his power. He was the Kai of Mallets. If that didn't make an impression, his clothing would, provided you knew he was a kai, for he was dressed in a brown, unassuming suit that reflected a middle-class British businessman. He regular getup was at the cleaners… he had spilt gravy on it.

The pair atop the building eyed each other and nodded, reaching for their last cartons. This weirdo was gonna' get it.

When Burt walked by a three-story bakery/tailor's shop, he didn't think anything was amiss, despite a shrieking woman surrounded by dried and drying egg spatterings. Poor Burt was caught unawares.

A single, white egg found its way to the top of his head, where it smashed apart, ending its egg-life in a yellow goo glory. Burt swung his head to the sky, seeking out the perpetrator with his eyes. Instead, two more orbs cracked open on his face. He could hear mocking laughter, but was now blinded. He didn't see, but he definitely felt the torrential downpour of chicken zygotes. It seemed to happen in slow motion as egg after torpid egg crashed down on him from above. The union of gametes cursed him once again! Why did this keep happening to him?!

Last time, he was the only one to walk away. Everyone else was left to rot in the bloody massacre that had occurred because of his wrath. Though, it hadn't been the first time something like that had happened. People didn't take you seriously when they learned you were the kai of a blunt object, despite its usefulness as a weapon. They tended to learn too late.

Otherwise, Burt was a real nice guy. Just swell.

*****

(If you could picture a dramatic scene from a cheesy black and white romance movie, that'd be great.)

Tien and Vegeta stared at each other. The prince didn't disguise the lust in his eyes, or try to deny the way his eyes roamed freely over the other man's body.

"You shouldn't have come back here, Vegeta… not after…" the taller man said, turning away.

"But Tien, can't you see? I need you," the prince said, grabbing his arm and spinning him around to face him, "I can't live without you."

"But Vegeta…"

"But nothing! My life is meaningless without you, please," the prince said, fumbling in his pocket until he pulled something out and presenting it to Tien, "Will you?"

"Oh Vegeta, you poor fool. Of course I will!" he said, before having both his arms grabbed and pulled close as his lips were crushed against the prince's in passionate bliss.

The object in Vegeta's hand fell to the ground… two paper-clipped tickets to Disney World®. Really, nothing says love like a disease-ridden rodent's empire.

*****

Burt began to swing his mighty mallet round his head, his mounting fury causing the air around him appear to ripple. Thunderclouds rolled in and lightening began to crackle in the air. A deafening roar tore through the air as Burt cried out.

Bulma watched the rain beginning to drizzle around her and looked over at Piccolo.

"It's started to rain, let's get out of here," she said, re-capsulating her pack and putting it into her pocket.

"Sure," Piccolo said, scooping her up and flying off to where she directed.

Isn't love great?

Disclaimer: (Again?! What the f***? Yeah, line up to kick my @$$. I've got another one.) I do NOT, under ANY circumstances own the rights or ANY respective likenesses of Disney World®. Seriously, those people are vicious, and they do NOT stop at the sight of blood. They'll keep going. I doubt there's anything in this world I fear more.

A/N: I was going to have this out nearly two weeks sooner, but I got sick and my life (waits patiently until laughter dies down) got put on hold for a few days, so, sorry about the delay. On the plus side, I can now eat something other than plain toast! Oh, and then the people who let me visit them purely to use their Internet went on vacation for a few days and brought back my sister who's on leave or something from the air force. They're my grandma and grandpa. That's pathetic, they have the Internet and I don't… but mine should be fixed by this week, so then I can stop making up lame excuses for not having my chapters out at a reasonable time.