Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Heart of Fire ❯ The true meaning of loneliness ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

SonSofia, here, I realized that this story is slowly, but surely, turning in an AU (Alternate Universe) fic, and I'm going to let it. The chapters will be longer, but it is short now because I am writing off of the top of my head and don't have many ideas yet. But I will soon and I will share them. I appreciate the reviews and hope to update as soon as I can. And, MACHA, I read your stories and their awesome! Please update when you can.






Heart of Fire
Chapter Two- The true meaning of loneliness.



Disclaimer: I don’t own DBZ, and I never will. I will only put this disclaimer on one more time, by now everybody should know that I’ll never own or plagiarize Dragonball z/GT
Summary: Goku lands on Planet Lais, and begins a search for a new life. But it isn’t going to be easy.

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It wasn't easy but, I packed my things and left. After all I’ve done for the people of Earth there was nobody there to save me when I needed to be saved. I needed to be alone, a place void of Vegeta. And my feelings.

It made me envy him. He had complete control, or so it seemed. He was able to control his emotions and never let anyone see what he was feeling on the inside. I wish I could do that.

I wish I could put on a mask of indifference and parade around as if nothing were wrong. But just as I am, I can’t. I put on the happy facade and hoped nobody could see what I felt. But then there would always be someone that would walk up to me and ask if I was alright, even though I had a big dumb smile on my face.

They could see right through me.

So why couldn’t Vegeta?

I wished he could, but was glad he couldn’t. I don’t know what I would do if he found out any other way. He already called me names; clown, idiot, fool, simpleton, third class. Then he would have some other choice words to add to the list; fag, homo, nasty.....

I didn't want him to think I was indecent. I wasn’t a faggot or a homo. I was a man with feelings for another man. Okay, so I’m gay. And its wrong. I’m not human. But I can’t be just any kind of person. I have to be right; that means having feelings for women, like a real man should. Being ‘straight’ and the like.

I can’t answer to that, so I have to leave.

After I packed my things and boarded the ship, I thought about something. How was I going to eat? What was I going to eat. I couldn’t cook. I always ate my meals at Capsule Corp, where the servobots would prepare it for me. Maybe I could go back and get a few.

But that would mean seeing Vegeta. And that was something I did not want to do.

So I left, my stomach empty and my head full, with nothing but the clothes on my back and some small trinkets. I dont need much seeing as this is the first day of the rest of my life.

The ship rocks and shutters as it exits orbit. I am used to this by now and I easily relax as much as I could. I don’t look back at Earth. I want to, but I don’t. The ship is the same model Vegeta used to go into space. Complete with gravity simulator and the latest upgrades, the ship was perfect for me. I would train in my spare time when I’m not thinking.

The computer beeps and asks me to enter a coordinate. I just randomly select one and I’m off, I don’t know where but I don’t care. I just want to go anywhere that isn’t earth.

A world without Vegeta.

I feel myself falling asleep after weeks of restlessness and for the first time, my mind is at peace.


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I trained when I could and made time to meditate, which was good because now I would have plenty of time to sort my thoughts. I was till hungry and my stomach pleaded with me to feed it. But I would not eat for a few more weeks yet. Luckily for me, a Saiyan could withstand going without food for almost a whole month. But it was going to be harder for me, because I loved food and it would be rather hard to train on an empty stomach.
The days went on and I meditated for nights on end, trying to block out the empty feeling in my stomach and my heart. I missed him. And it hurt like hell to know that he doesnt give a shit about me when all I can think about is him.


It seemed so unfair! I had done so much, for so little. I stupidly thought that my efforts to save mankind would pay off and that I would gain his respect. All for nothing! He still regarded me as being lower than the dust and gave me no respect. There were times I thought I was close, only to be shot down by his cruel words and cold heart.


How could I love someone like that? We don’t even think on the same level. So incompatible, so different, yet I thought we were perfect for each other.



‘Vegeta.’


My heart ached but so did my stomach. I was so hungry. I hope I don’t die out here. But then again, that may not be so bad. I could die and float away in space forever. Deteriorate, so that the only things that would be left were my particles, and even that would not last long.

Nobody would remember me, I had out lived generations already, and there never was any evidence that I was actually alive. I didn’t have a birth certificate, no identification, just pictures of me from old martial arts tournaments.

Nobody really knew me. I was just another temporary legend played out. I could die now and nobody would remember the name;

Son Goku.

Maybe if I get to whatever planet it is that I’m going, I will be able to start a new life, and maybe, find someone to love, someone that loves me back. The thought seems highly unlikely, but it was worth a try.

I will not die. Not yet anyway.

I will not let this obsession be most important thing in my life. Even if it is.

The gravity suddenly increases and I am flattened instantly against the ground. I hadn’t been paying attention, and the change took me by surprise. I slowly get up an slam my hand on the big red button.

"Gravity decreasing. May cause nausea"

The gravity went back down to normal and I plopped back to the ground. I had been too preoccupied with my thoughts.

"Thats it", I grunted. "From here on, I will banish him from my thoughts and never speak his name again" I swore this on the memory of my son Goten, who was the only one that ever really loved me. I would never again let him plague my mind, I would start my new life from scratch, the only one I will choose to remember is Goten.


It would be hard but I will put every ounce of determination into this promise that I intended to keep.

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I had fallen into a daily routine of training until the pain in my stomach grew too intense to move then, I would sit by the window and meditate the pain away. Then I would continue training.

I had no real reason to train, it was just something that helped pass the time. I was strong nut I didn’t want to run into any trouble in space or on the planet I was headed for. I was deep in space and Earth was billions of miles away.

It had been three weeks since I had been in space and in six more days, I would be landing on the planet I had randomly chosen. Then I would find something to eat and continue my training.

That seemed like a good plan. I was feeling confident now. I would land on another planet in six days, and I actually was looking forward to it. More the food, though. For the next four days, I trained as hard as I could without passing out. By the fifth day, I was sprawled out on the floor, groaning in pain and I couldn’t move. I was losing strength quick and I was beginning to think that I wouldn’t make it.

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The bouncing of the ship as it entered the planets atmosphere wasn’t initially what woke me up. What woke me up was the sharp decrease in temperature. Suddenly it was really cold. I crawled over to the ships control panel and pressed a few buttons.

The planet was called Lais, and it had a population of 190 billion, many times the population of Earth. It was very big and blue. Not the blue of Earth, but a icy blue that indicated that the planet was made mostly of ice. I shivered and regretted not bringing something warmer to wear.

Instead of burning in the atmosphere, the ship was enveloped by an icy cover that chilled to ship to its core, and thensome. I curl up and try to gather some warmth from the bit of clothing I have on, but there is none to be found.

I was going to freeze to death in the atmosphere.

So cold....

I tried not to let the last thing I thought about be him. If I was going to die, it would be with my body completely purged of emotion.

The temperature just kept dropping and my skin eventually began to turn blue and icy pain surged through my body. I was finished.


******************** Please review.-SonSofia.