Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Icebox ❯ 05 ( Chapter 5 )

Man, was I glad I'd met that Babadi. See, he turned out to be pretty helpful to us in this plot that Bardock came up with. He had some weird powers that could...well, increase Bardock's power, I s'pose. 'Cause that's exactly what he did. The whole process was pretty damn weird, but in the end I realized I had to knock the poor wizard guy out to get Bardock back.

 

Totally worth it. See, they wanted to scare Freeza.

 

Scare him real bad.

 

And since a Super Saiyajin was his downfall, what better than a guy who looks practically the same as Kakarrot? (I said before that I was over it, but it still creeps me out a little bit.) Plus, I told 'em I could play the part of that bald guy I fought back on Earth, that Freeza blew up before Kakarrot went Super Saiyajin. Bardock acted like it was the best idea ever (that was before the wizard though) but Raditsu didn't seem pleased. (Until he was telling other people about it, then he thought it was a great idea.)

 

He didn't even seem pleased when his father came back a Super Saiyajin. Guess he was just jealous. I am too--but, hell, I don't even know if I have it in me. Who knows if Babidi will ever even want to talk to us again. He hasn't yet...

 

That wasn't the end of it, though. Well, things would've been pretty good as they were, of course. But they could be better! I knew it. 'Cause I know that Vegeta was there for some of it, too. 'Fact, I know that Freeza killed him before Kakarrot fought Freeza.

 

And I know this guy. Well--we all know him--but I know him. Kind of.

 

King Vegeta. So I decided to go find him.

 

 

...

 

 

Things went kind of weird with the good ol' King after he got to Hell, I hear. For one, he was in denial for quite a while. I mean--I think he knew the whole thing was coming, kinda, somehow. But it's still a pretty big change. I mean, most of the Saiyajin still treated him as King, still do, only technically he hasn't got a place to rule. He kind of tried to...set up a kingdom. I got here after it was already here. But I hear at first it was pretty nuts. He drew a big circle and...I dunno, I don't know the story exactly.

 

Anywho, by the time I got to Hell things'd calmed down a bit. He even insisted talking to me, to find out more about how his son was doing. Then after a bit, stopped talking to me. I had a real hard time finding him again, after a while, even though he was always in that circle.

 

But I thought--Bardock being a Super Saiyajin and all, maybe we could muscle our way around to find him. So that's what we did.

 

 

...

 

 

He was kinda surprised to see us, I think, but listened pretty close when he heard the deal was about humiliating Freeza. (I get the feeling that everyone in Hell would've wanted in on it, if they'd known. I sure am glad I tagged along after them myself. I mean, I don't have it in for Freeza near as much as Bardock--of course--but he's a real bitch here in Hell so I feel just about the same as anyone around here. Plus, it was fun.)

 

'Course, the moment he heard that he'd have to go outside his, er, kingdom, he got a little weird, but I guess that's okay. It must have been worth it to him, because he agreed to (maybe mostly because there was a Super Saiyajin standing right behind me, giving the King this real mean look...I mean, I really think Bardock doesn't like King Vegeta at all!). I can't blame the King; being in Hell so long you kind of pick up weird quirks. Guess I'm lucky in that regard; I haven't picked anything up like that. Here's my secret: When I get bored, I go beat people up. Hey, it's Hell--not like they can die again, so I'll never run out of people. Got some friends, though, that I never ever beat up. But there's plenty of other tortured souls that don't notice a little extra torture. Keeps me sane. What can I say? I'm a Saiyajin.

 

 

...

 

 

So we had King Vegeta's (moving around real uncomfortable like the second he stepped over that line) help. He'd pretend to be (Prince) Vegeta.

 

Little did I know, we'd be lucky enough to come across even more help.

 

That green guy that I said I saw standing of the cliff before Bardock's hair got bleached, remember him? Well, I didn't get a good look at him at the time, but I saw him later. I was walking around (Bardock's adventurous spirit really got into me I guess) and I went by those same cliffs again. Saw the guy again, got a better look now I was closer, and I recognized him as one of the "big boys" in Hell. Then I was thinking about Hell...Hell, Hell, Hell...and it made me remember his name: Cell.

 

So I shouted that up to 'im. What can he do, knock me out for a few days? Plus I like to think I'm a pretty likable guy. No one I've talked to has ever really tried to hurt me. I think. Er...well, maybe a few.

 

He looked down like he was pretty irritated, but then he must have recognized me 'cause his face kind of lit up in this particular way. Apparently, Raditsu (poor lonely guy, why doesn't he just come hang out with me?) had been chatting up anyone who'd listen about his idea. (Wait, was it his, or Bardock's? Damn...) And so he'd listened in and heard about the plot.

 

This Cell guy didn't like Freeza either. He said he'd beat him up a few times (which I would believe; they say he killed Kakarrot) but that just wasn't good enough for him anymore, too boring. Seemed like a pretty...devious guy. But with a laugh that was less weird that Babidi's, so he was fine by me.

 

So you know how I said he's one of the big guys in Hell? Well get this: He asked me if there was any way he could help.

 

Talk about an honor.

 

See, he didn't like Kakarrot that much either, but said at least the guy could beat him soundly by now so he couldn't do a damn thing about it. He just hated Freeza that much that traumatizing him like that seemed perfect (he chuckled to himself every time he said "perfect" -- why??). I said I didn't know if he could do anything for us, what with Bardock being a Super Saiyajin now, and me acting as the short bald guy, and King Vegeta being Vegeta.

 

But I guess he had an idea all along. He had this really...weird ability. Well, a couple. Wait, let me back up. I said that we needed something to look like Namek, that was the main thing. 'Pparently the guy's like an expert at slicing up and moving rock. So I gave 'im my drawing of Namek (he laughed as soon as he saw it, I said that I thought blue trees were crazy too but he just shook his head) and he said he could do that.

 

Right, but I was gonna say, his other weird ability. So, he has the abilities of some of the guys I fought back on Earth, including the Namekian I killed, who apparently has this (I have no other way to say it) weird-ass clothes beam.

 

Bam.

 

Now I looked like that bald guy did. (My clothes, at least; not like he could make me shorter, anyway.)

 

And then, King Vegeta's clothes looked like Prince Vegeta's.

 

And then, Bardock's clothes looked like Kakarrot's.

 

And we had Namek.

 

A little observation and a little talk gets a guy far. But always in moderation. Because after that we were ready to stop talking and kick some ass.