Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Interview Madness ❯ High-tops and Glasses ( Chapter 5 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

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ATM: Hey everyone...I know it's been a while, but...I really don't care. I thought I'd mix things up and have an interview with two completely different characters that aren't normally seen together. Say hello to Gohan Son and Juunana-gou, also known as Android #17.

(odd silence)

ATM: I said say hello dammit!

(reader looks around)

Reader/you: Uhh...hello...?

ATM: That's better. So uhh...hello there you guys.

17: There's too many "hello's" going on, I'm leaving.

ATM: You sit your metal butt down! It's not like you have anything better to do.

17: Whatever. My butt isn't metal.

ATM: Sure.

17: It isn't.

ATM: Shut up. Tell me Juunana-nana-nana...

17: Just call me 17...

ATM: Alright...tell me what it's like to be an android?

17: Actually, I'm a cyborg.

ATM: Actually, that's the same thing just about, so...shut up. I didn't invite you here to debate whether you're called an android or cyborg. Just tell me what it's like.

17: It's alright I guess. I don't appreciate being told to shut up though.

ATM: I don't care...shut up.

17: Pfft. I hope you're joking...

ATM: Shut up. Hey Gohan, what's happenin'?

Gohan: Oh, not much.

ATM: Right...right...you're boring.

17: Heh heh.

Gohan: Sorry.

17: I'm gonna like this interview thing. I think you have an interesting sense of humor.

ATM: I think you're kinda hot.

17: Yes.

ATM: That...wasn't a question.

17: I know.

ATM: You're weird. So what have been doing with yourself since you're not destroying the planet anymore? Still hate humans?

17: Yes, I still hate humans. I've been living in the forest in a tree house. It's cool.

ATM: Tree house, eh? Sounds kinda...dorky.

17: I have cable.

ATM: Ok? How do you keep your clothes so clean if you're living in the woods?

17: Forest. I said forest.

ATM: Whatever, just answer the damn question.

17: I have a washing machine.

ATM: You have a washing machine in your tree house?

17: Yes. A dryer too.

ATM: Must be a big tree house.

17: Yes.

ATM: Must be a big tree too.

17: Yes.

ATM: You say yes a lot.

17: ......Yes......

Gohan: Maybe he means a log house made OUT of trees...

17: No, it's a tree house. If it was a log house I would've said so. Idiot.

Gohan: Ok...I just wasn't sure if you...knew the difference.

17: I do.

ATM: Sheesh, you're both dorks.

17: You take that back! I'm NOT a dork. My tree house is awesome. Gohan lives with his mom.

Gohan: I do NOT! I live in a house separate from her's and dad's entirely.

17: They're connected.

Gohan: Wait...how do you know?

ATM: Ahem. I don't think either of us want to know the answer to that question.

Gohan: You're probably right.

ATM: I am. So Gohan, you're a married man now...what's that like?

Gohan: Ok I guess.

ATM: That it?

Gohan: Pretty much.

ATM: Jesus...you're so...that way...

Gohan: Is that bad?

ATM: *sigh* No...

17: I'm bored.

ATM: So am I.

17: Let's go blow stuff up.

ATM: Not now, I have a question for Gohan from someone named Sophs. I'm assuming her name is Sophie. Gohan...have you ever thought of wearing contacts instead of those "HUGE" glasses?

Gohan: Gosh, I haven't thought about wearing contacts. Are my glasses really that big?

17: Yes.

ATM: I have to concur.

Gohan: Well I think contacts would just get in the way because I mostly use my glasses to read. Going through the process of putting contacts on would just take too much time. Besides, I'm not very vain.

17: Why did you look at me when you said that? I'm not vain.

Gohan: I didn't mean anything by it.

17: I'll see you outside when this interview is over.

Gohan: You'll apparently see me no matter what, if you know so much about where I live.

ATM: I just thought of something...if you both leave at the same time, then of course you'll see him outside.

17: You're an idiot.

ATM: *mumbles* So uhh...17, how do you feel about your twin sister getting married?

17: She what?

ATM: She got married to Krillin.

17: Are you serious?

Gohan: Why does he know more about me than his own sister?

17: Isn't Krillin that bald guy?

ATM: He's not bald anymore.

17: But wasn't he also...short?

ATM: Yeah. He doesn't have a nose either.

17: Has she blown a curcuit?

ATM: No. They even have a daughter together. You're an uncle. Uncle Juu...whatever.

17: I am not liking this.

ATM: Well I'm glad I could brighten your day.

17: You didn't. That just pissed me off.

ATM: Oh well. Say Gohan, your dad sang a song to me and Trunks that you made when you were two.

Gohan: Uhh...what song?

ATM: It's about you taking a bath and how your name is Gohan.

Gohan: Oh God...he told you about that?

17: What a loser.

Gohan: Do my parents hate me?

ATM: No, of course not! At least...your dad doesn't.

Gohan: What's that supposed to mean?

ATM: Well it's just that your mom seems to like Goten a lot more than you. But that doesn't mean she HATES you.

Gohan: You've noticed that too? Geez, it's like nothing I do is good enough for her, yet Goten gets away with whatever he wants.

ATM: Sucks for you. You know your dad has a good singing voice.

Gohan: Yeah, he sings to himself a lot.

ATM: Hehehehe...he's so cool.

17: Why have we stopped talking about me? Goku can't sing and Gohan's life is boring. I'm better.

ATM: How would you know if Goku can sing or not?

Gohan: Hey, I've been through a lot in my life. I think my biography would be a lot more interesting to read than yours. Who wants to read about you? "I used to be human, but my body was stolen, and I was made into an android..."

17: Cyborg.

Gohan: "...and after rebelling against the evil scientist that created me, I went on an evil rampage with my twin sister and killed all the humans that I saw..."

ATM: Actually, that sounds pretty interesting...it'd make a good movie too...wait...it already was a movie. And a show. I'd read it, fosho!

17: Me too.

Gohan: I bet he can't read.

17: I can read. I have 20/20 vision too.

Gohan: Grrrr....my life was interesting too! Why doesn't anyone love me?!

ATM: I love ya Gohan.

Gohan: You're just saying that.

ATM: Yeah...

17: I like you, you're funny.

ATM: You live in a tree house...and you wear hightops...

17: Hightops are cool.

ATM: Yeah, in '89.

17: What year is it now?

ATM: Let's just say...it's been over 10 years since they were cool.

17: Well they're about due for a come-back. I like being a trend setter.

ATM: I wouldn't be too proud to be the one that brought high-tops back...

Gohan: Would you consider high-tops being dorkier than large eye-wear?

ATM: No, not really, cuz glasses are like...right there. You can't help but see them.

17: Ha ha monkey boy.

ATM: Leave Gohan alone, he can't help it, but you can. No one made you choose those dorky shoes.

Gohan: Thanks ATM...I think..

17: I think my shoes are cool. But no one thinks Gohan's glasses are cool, not even Gohan.

ATM: Yeah well...Gohan's got a wife, and all you've got is a tree.

Gohan: Or his right hand.

17: I'm left handed.

Gohan: So you admit it.

17: Admit what?

Gohan: You're an idiot.

17: You're the son of an idiot.

ATM: Leave Goku alone! He's awesome!

17: Whatever.

Gohan: At least I know my parents.

17: That was rude.

ATM: I can see now that this pairing was not appropriate. Not only were you two boring as hell, you were un-funny and bitchy. Gohan, you're depressing. I'm sorry your life has been so shitty. 17, I'm sorry you live in a tree.

17: What's wrong with my tree?

ATM: It's a tree...come on now...it's obvious you couldn't get a job to afford a real house.

17: I like trees.

Gohan: So do I, but you don't see me living in them.

ATM: You went through one with your head one time when you were a baby.

17: That explains SO much.

Gohan: Wait...I what?

ATM: Uhm, nevermind. I think I'm just gonna end this here. If you two decide to fight, go do it far away from here. Like in the woods or something.

17: Forest.

ATM: God dammit...android, cyborg, woods, forest, toe-ma-toe, ta-mah-toe. Let's call a cab and get out of my house.

Gohan: I thought this was your grandparents house.

ATM: Yes well...(looks around)

17: I like grandparents.

ATM: Ok...?

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Bah...two borings don't make a funny. I'll have a more interesting combo or...single....next chapter.