Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Life Through the Looking Glass ❯ Desicions ( Chapter 16 )

Chapter Dedications: blackprinesse (Cause she thinks I'm stupid.), Sessh's BabyGrl, and skater_ning

Chapter 16: Decisions

Has something ever happened that you just weren't expecting. An outcome you just didn't think would ever happen. You wanted is so badly, but thought it would never happen. Now here it was and you had a choice to make: except it, or turn around and leave. Happiness or heartbreak. You are supposed to expect the best and prepare for the worst. But you didn't do that. All you did was prepare for the worst. Now you have the choice for happiness. You would think that it would be an easy answer, but you wouldn't know the consequences. Were you really willing to take such a risk? To sarifice so much on such a small chance. How would you know it was real? How would you know that it would last? How would you know it's the truth? How would you know it was really love? Is there such a thing as a happily ever after?

-From the Diary of Son, Pan

(Son, Carina)

I sat at school yet again. Thank Kami that it was the last class of the day. Yeah, it was with Trunks, but that didn't matter at all to me. I was far enough away from him and it didn't bother me at all. I didn't have to talk to him from way back here. I was just glad to get through today and not have to even look in his direction. He was going to find out soon enough. About everything. I knew it. The party was tomorrow and I didn't know what to do. I was practically going crazy, but I knew Trunks would find out someday. Better sooner rather then later.

With Uub coming, I didn't know what to expect. I knew that something was going to happen. I just hoped that he would follow through with his promise. I knew that he was starting to develop a crush on me. After what we've been through, I had to admit that I had started to like him too. But it was too much for the both of us. I'm glad we agreed no emotions like that would ever be between us though. If we had let emotions envelope our lives like that, it would have hurt more when I found out I was to be married to Trunks.

I had avoided Trunks all day, and I knew that I would have to tell him tomorrow. I had to prepare myself for it, and to do so, I would have to be as far away from him as possible. I needed to think. I knew Uub didn't know about the arrangement, but when he did, I didn't even want to know what would be going on through his head. So as I've said before, I need some time away from it all. That's why I called Trunks yesterday and asked him if we could not see each other today. I told him I had a lot on my mind and that I needed to think. He started to worry about me but I told him I was fine. He agreed reluctantly, saying he could find something else to do. I figured he would go out with Marron. There was supposed to be some party tonight that Marron was throwing. I didn't know why she decided to throw a party on a Thursday night and not wait for Friday. I was betting that Trunks would be at that party. It worked for me though. From the looks of it, he hadn't done got out with her in a while, and rumors had it that the two were broken up. I could only wish.

English class. Completely sucked. I hated it. Boring as usual. We were reviewing the semester for the final. The final all but one would be taking. I didn't quite care if I took it or not. I knew everything, so why should I care. I sat in the back of the room just thinking about tomorrow. So much was going to happen. If he could except it, then maybe I'd tell him who I truly am. It's hard living like this, but I don't have a choice. If I really have to be married to him for the rest of my life, I needed to know that he could love me for me. Even if he didn't love me right now, if he only liked me, that was at least something we could build on. I really wished I could tell him though.

I looked up at the clock. Five minutes till the bell rang. I decided to pack-up my things. I needed to get away from here as soon as possible to avoid any confrontations with Trunks and possibly Marron. My bags were quickly packed and I waited for the bell to ring. I sat there with two minutes left of class. Everyone else had stated to pack up and I could tell our teacher had given up on trying to get us to pay attention. Everyone was anxious to leave. Nearing the end of the week…the end of the school year. It was impossible to stay attentive.

I had to get home and figure out how I was going to tell Trunks. I didn't know how he was going to react. It's not like it's any different then what he was doing, but he might be angry at me for keeping it from him. It's not like I wanted to. I just didn't know how to approach it. What was he going to think of me? Was it over between us after that, or did he really care about me and not care about my past? So many secrets I've kept from him. I know he's kept many form me as well. Which means we couldn't really love each other. Our likeness for each other could not grow into something more if we both continued keeping secrets. It would all have to come out soon. The next few days was probably the best time to do it.

The bell had rung and I decided to stay behind for a few minutes and talk to my teacher. I knew my grade was good but I wanted to know what it was exactly. As soon as everyone had left the room, I approached my teacher and asked him for my grade. He had started to look it up when another teacher had come in to talk to him. They talked for about fifteen minutes while my English teacher forgot I was there. I sat there as patient as possible for him to finish. When they finished he had apologized to me and kindly gave me my grade. I told him it was alright and thanked him.

I walked out of class, my chains clinking together, while I headed towards my locker to pick-up all my books. I wouldn't be here tomorrow. I had too much to get ready for tomorrow anyways. I had the party to get ready for, figure out how to tell Trunks one of my secrets, and find a way to tell him the rest without him hating me.

As I was on my way to my locker I noticed something I hadn't noticed before, most likely because I had never stayed this late at school. I usually left within the first ten minutes. All the hallways were empty. Not a single person other person in the hall…well, one other. I noticed him out of the corner of my eyes. He was walking towards me and fast. His eyes were on me the entire time. I didn't know what he was going to do. Maybe…did he figure it out? Did he know that I was Carina? Was it even possible for him to know? I rushed to finish getting my books and shut my locker just as he stopped, three feet away from me. His eyes never left me and I knew something was up.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I looked at him a little in shock. I didn't expect him to say that. I didn't know what to expect, but that sure as hell wasn't it. What had I done to offend him?

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Who do you think you are going around and talking shit? You have no idea what the hell is going on with Marron and I, and yet you start talking infront of our entire class?" Trunks was getting mad I could tell.

"What are you so angry about Trunks? Yesterday's little incident? Let me tell you right now Trunks that I don't talk shit. I heard it straight from Marron's mouth," I said as calmly as possible.

"Why the hell would Marron say something like that when it's not true? Our relationship is just fine."

"Then you have much to worry about," I stated and walked past him, towards the front of the school.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he yelled after me. I stopped in my tracks. He wanted an explanation? Then an explanation was what he was going to get. I turned to face him looking him straight in the eye, my gaze never waivering.

"Ever since I was little I've been the outcast of society. My parents are embarrassed of me, I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't have any friends. I learn to see things around me. I listen and I observe. I can tell you who cheats on who, who sleeps with their teachers, who cheated on a test…" I paused for the last one, "and who is living a lie."

Trunks was shocked. He didn't know what to say. He stood there just starring at me. It took him a minute to respond to what I said, but I waited. When I saw realization sinking in, I spoke again. One question that I could tell his soul was dying to answer.

"Who are you Trunks?"

"Who am I?" Trunks repeated.

"Yes, Trunks. Why are you the way that you are? Why are you lying to everyone around you…and to yourself?"

"Just who the hell are you?! You have no idea what it's like living the life that I do."

"I know more then you think. I'm an out-cast. I don't belong anywhere. And I've learned to embrace that. Do you know why Trunks?" I asked rhetorically. "It's because I know who I am. I'm true to myself. I don't have to answer to anyone. I could change Trunks. I could be like you and everyone else here at this school. But I choose to love myself instead." With that, I turned and walked away. Leaving him to ponder his decisions and his life.