Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Life Through the Looking Glass ❯ I Can't, I Won't, Good-bye ( Chapter 29 )

This chapter is from Trunks' point of view and starts the night before.

Chapter 29: I Can't, I Won't, Good-bye

It's surprising that a decision can be easily made for you, but takes you forever to make on your own. You learn nothing from others, and learn everything from your own experiences. That is the way the human mind works. You can have some insight, but you can never know the true heartache, or true blessing something can be until you experience it for yourself. This may take years of torture and end in happiness, or years of happiness and end in torture. You never know how things will truly work out in the end, but you never give up in hopes that you will one day see the light. Sometimes that means saying good-bye to the things that you love most. And if you can accomplish this feat you will learn, that in the end, you have more than what you gave.

-From the Journal of Trunks Briefs

I had been sitting in my room for many hours contemplating what needed to be done. So much had happened in less than a week. My head was starting to hurt thinking so much. I don't remember when I last thought so much. I never expected something like this to become so hard.

I never understood why something like this was hard. I never had these feelings before, and to think that they could be brought out by someone I envied. Yeah, I envied her, for everything that she was...and everything she wasn't. For everything that she meant to me. I couldn't deny it anymore. I was in love with Carina. But that was the hardest part. Pan and Carina were two different people. One meant the world to me, and the other...well, the other was just an annoyance. I knew which one I loved, but how was I to marry now the one I wouldn't stand? I could see it now, the entire wedding all decorated with black, dead roses, as well as her bouquet. Black jeans and a t-shirt. Wholes in everything of course.

How was I to do that? How was I expected to live with a girl that lived in her own little world? She needed to wakeup and learn that she couldn't go through life acting as she had been doing. But she had no intention of stopping, that much was clear. I didn't know what to do with her. I couldn't live my life with her if she was going to live her life that way. I couldn't live like that and I couldn't live with a girl like that. I couldn't, I mean, I just couldn't...

KNOCK! KNOCK!

My thoughts were interrupted by the pounding on my door. My head was hurting enough as it was. I didn't need this now. With my confusion, my headache, as well as my fucked up engagement, I was now getting annoyed. I didn't want to answer the door. I just wanted whoever it was that was behind the door to go away, and leave me alone.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

I guess that couldn't happen. I stood up with a sigh and walked to my door as another pounding sound rang threw my room. "I'm coming," I yelled irritated enough as it was. I opened the door to see my little sister standing there with a cute smile on her face. I knew she was up to something or she knew something that I didn't know. "What is it Bra?" I asked suspiciously, a little anger leaking out of my voice.

She kept smiling. Just staring at me. I didn't have time for this. I had a decision to make and it was killing me. If she wasn't going to say anything, then I wasn't going to stand that and have a starring match with her. I moved to shut the door and leave her where she was but before I could she spoke.

"You have a visitor Trunks. She's waiting downstairs for you." she said it all with a smile on her face, and as she finished, she turned and walked down the hall to her room. Her back to me, she opened her door, took one last look at me, and disappeared into her room.

I didn't know what had happened just now and it took a moment for it to register in my mind. After it did, I just stood there contemplating whether or not I should go downstairs. I wasn't expecting anyone. So whoever it was, was uninvited, and that was just rude. I didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment, but then again, if I didn't go down there, eventually someone would come upstairs to yell at me for not being polite.

I sighed and shut the door behind me as I made my way down the hall. My feet tread slowly, showing signs of my obvious enthusiasm about being out of my room. At the moment I didn't care who was waiting for me. I just wanted them to leave as soon as possible. I didn't want to speak to anyone. Why couldn't everyone see that? I was stressed, life has pissed me off. And fate had done it to me. Too bad fate didn't like me. Little did I know it was only beginning. At that very moment, I was being pulled downstairs to where I would make my final decision.

I descended the stairs and entered the living room not knowing what was awaiting me. But as I made eye contact with her, my heart stopped. Of all the people I suspected I would see, I didn't suspect her. She wasn't even on the list.

She was beautiful. Her hair had been made up, her make-up was just right, and she was wearing a plain, light pink, skin tight, dress that stopped just above her knees showing off her beautiful legs. The straps to the dress were brought over her shoulders, forcing her breasts up slightly, making her bust look bigger then it actually was. She wore matching high heels that just extenuated her legs and breasts even more. Yes, she was beautiful. Yes, at this moment she took my breath away. And yes, even now I wanted to throw her down and ravish her body. But it was all looks with her. There was nothing else there.

I knew that she was beautiful, but I also knew that right now was the last time I would see her like this. I don't know I had come to this decision, it was just there. In the dark recesses of my mind, I know, and I had to admit it. I didn't love her. I did like her. Well, her body anyways. That was probably enough of an excuse for her for us to stay together. The feeling was probably mutual between us. And I guess that's why we lasted as long as we did. But I couldn't go on, hiding behind a veil of lies. I already had a mask covering my face, but Carina had slowly removed it. The truth was about to come out, and in all honesty, I was scared.

The blond in front of me rose from where she stood, and walked slowly seductively towards me, swaying her hips just the way she knew I liked it. She knew one of my greatest weaknesses. But Carina had found my greatest of all. With Marron it was my male parts, with Carina, it was my heart. I had to decide, and I knew someone was going to be hurt. And I definitely didn't want it to be me. And there was only gong to be one decision that made me happy, but still very confused. I looked at Marron as she came up to me, wrapped her arms around my waist, never taking her eyes off mine.

I sighed as I knew what she was up to, I knew what she wanted, but I wasn't going to give it. Not this time, and not ever again. She started to smile that all too familiar smile. She leaned up and kissed me just behind my ear, the spot that she knew effected me most.

“Come on Trunks, let's go upstairs to your room,” she whispered in my ear. I had to resist the groan that was coming as she grabbed my groin and started massaging my already hardening length. I knew I'd need a cold shower after this, as my lower regions started acting on their own. I tried to resist but my body wanted her. To pound into her at Super Saiyan speed. To release my seed in a latex cocoon. I knew what I wanted, but I also knew what I needed. And I didn't need her.

I moved my hands to hers, one around my waist, the other on my groin. And I removed them, taking a step back, I held her hands at arms length, just holding them their, my eyes closed, deep breathing, trying to regain my composure.

After a minute of gathering my thoughts I opened my eyes to see the anger and confusion in her eyes. At that moment I didn't know what she was thinking, but I knew it couldn't be good. After all, nobody had ever told her no. I was the first, and part of me was proud that I had done what no other could do.

“What do you think you are doing?” she practically spat at me.

“You know I don't let anyone in my room.” I said the first thing that came to mind.

“That's fine. There's gotta be some room in this place we could go to be undisturbed.” She smiled as she made another move towards me again. I gripped her hands a little harder taking another step back as she took another step forward.

“ I don't think we should do this at all,” I said, not quite sure how I had said it, but I had. Now came the hardest part. Explaining it.

I knew she wouldn't go for the, `I just don't think this is working out,' and then see me with Carina. She had nothing to do with this, so she deserved an honest answer. I could at least do that much for her. The hardest part was finding the truth. Even now I wasn't sure what was happening, so how could I make her understand? It was impossible, and I was at a complete loss as to what I was supposed to do.

“What the hell do you mean?” she screamed in confusion. She didn't know what was going on, but I had to tell her. “What the hell do you mean `not at all' ” she asked.

“I mean, this isn't right and I can't do this anymore,” I said staring her straight in the eyes.

“Do what Trunks? What the hell can't you do?” She was still yelling and I was afraid that she would scream so loud that my mother could hear and she would come to see what was happening. I didn't want that. I needed to do this without an audience. It was hard enough as it was doing this without her. Who knows what she would do.

“Not me Marron. US. WE can't do this anymore.

“We can't do what?” She was still screaming, but she knew what I meant. I could see it in her eyes.

We stood there in silence, neither of us speaking. My hand had long since let her go, but she still stood there just staring at me, neither of us moving. It was waiting for her to break the silence, because I just didn't have the heart to. I needed to tell her why, but I needed her to ask first. I don't know why I felt that way, but I did. Her response was not the one I was looking for, hoping for, or even expecting.

She whispered it, soft and suddle. Even with my Saiyan hearing I could hardly hear it. But I heard it none the less.

“So you're leaving me for her?”

“What?” I was shocked. How did she know about Pan? Did she even know that it was Pan? Did she know about Carina?

“You're leaving me for that slut!” It wasn't a question anymore. Yes, I was leaving her for someone else, but Carina wasn't a slut.

Marron jumped on top of me. Not expecting this, I fell backwards and she landed above me. She pinned my shoulders down, one hand on each as she leaned over me. I could get up with easy if I wanted, but I wanted her to vent. She no doubt had anger, as she rightfully should. She had the right to have anger and I would let her take it out on me.

“What the hell did I do wrong?” She hovered above me, tears stinging her eyes. At that moment I felt pity, but I couldn't stop now.

“It wasn't you. Look, something happened and I have no choice in the matter.” I didn't know why I had said it like that. It was a lie, here I was making a choice right now. I was choosing to leave her, and be faithful to Carina. The true love of my life. If I continued to lie to her it wouldn't matter if I told her the truth about Carina because I'm still lying to her. Just more and more lies. That's what I wanted to get away from.

“What do you mean you don't have a choice?” she asked confused. She had been asking a lot of questions concerning `what' and `why', but again, she had the right to. But I didn't know how to explain it to her.

“I didn't mean I don't have a choice. I do, but it's the only right one I can do.”

“She has to do with this doesn't she?”

“Who?” I had to ask. I didn't know what she was thinking. But she couldn't have known. There was nobody that could have told her. Nobody but my family knew about both Carina and Marron. Did she really know?

“ `Who'?” she spoke back at me looking shocked that I had asked that question. I had, but I knew I was going to regret it.

She stood, walked quickly to the couch, picked up her purse, and pulled out a few glossy pieces of paper. I soon realized they were pictures.

“The little whore you've been fooling around with!” she screamed and threw the pictures at me. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I picked them up, but I let my eyes roam over them, terrified at what I saw.

There in my hands was what happened only a few nights ago. There in my hands were pictures of Carina and I, the night everything happened. Carina in my arms. The two of us kissing passionately, apparently what we thought was alone.

I didn't know how to explain this to Marron. After all, she had nothing to do with this. It was all me.

I stood up and sighed. I held the pictures down to my side. I had to tell her, but I didn't know how. “Marron, this girl is…” I couldn't finish my sentence. My voice just stopped completely. What was I to do?

“Is what? Who? Who the hell is she? How could you do this to me Trunks?” Marron looked as if she was going to cry of frustration. For ten minutes she had been asking me the same questions. Demanding to know what, and I had still kept her in the dark. I had to tell her now. No matter how much it hurt.

“She's my fiancé.” There, I said it. But I couldn't look her in the face. How could I? “Look Marron,” I said after a minute, chancing a glance at my now, or soon to, be ex-girlfriend, “I don't know how you got these pictures, but this is my fiancé. We're getting married after high school.

Her face showed a look of shock. I was truly afraid of what was going to happen, what she was going to do. I watched her carefully, fearfully, dangerously, as she walked towards me. As a Saiyan, I saw it coming, I could have stopped her, but I knew I deserved it. She slapped me across my left cheek. There was a slight sting, and I was sure that there was now a red mark across my cheek, but at that moment, I didn't care.

“Why?” she whispered.

“It's an arranged marriage. I had no say in it.” It was true, I didn't have a say in it. Whether I wanted this or not. She looked at me for a moment and smiled, the tears that were brimming her eyes left, and I was completely confused.

“Why didn't you tell me? We could have worked something out. I got angry because I thought you were in love with her, not just acting your part.” She smiled even wider, leaned up and tried to kiss me. I pulled away, the last part of my explanation was about to come. “What now Trunks?”

“That's just the thing Marron, I am in love with her.” At that point I knew there was no turning back.

“What do you mean you love her?”

“I mean I love her Marron. After high school, her and I are getting married, and we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together.”

She looked at me in shock, as if she couldn't believe her ears.

“Why can't you love me Trunks?”

“I'm sorry Marron.” It was all I could say.

She gave me one last glance, and I saw the tears streaming down her face. She then turned around, grabbed her things and walked away.

She stopped slowly for just a moment, her back still towards me. “Why?” She stared at the wall, not even moving. “We can do this Trunks, I don't care about some whore of yours. If you have no say in it, and you don't love her, then we can still be together can't we?”

“I'm sorry Marron. I can't…I won't.”

She continued her pace towards the entrance of Capsule Corp. not stopping, but throwing one word over her shoulder ending it all, and ending us. And with it, she left me and my life. And for some reason, I had no pity.

“Good-bye.”

Sorry about no updating sooner. A friend of mine died and shortly after so did my great-grandmother. So it did take awhile for me to get into writing again. All I was writing for a while was poetry. I couldn't even think about writing a chapter. So thank you all for waiting this long.

I've also been working on my senior project. We're the only county in the entire United States I believe that has to do one. We basically choose a major we might want to do and we have to do a year long project on it. I'm writing a book of poetry. Which isn't too hard. But the research paper is due soon, and I've barely even started. If I don't do it, I don't get to graduate. So I have to finish that up soon. It wouldn't take long, but it will take a while. Six to ten pages of research. DAMN YOU AVUHSD!

Also, there is finally a good picture of me on myspace. If you want to see it, my screen name on there is 'The Angel of Death Unbalanced' You'll see me there. I look pretty cool I think. Then if you have a screen name on there, add me to your list. I'm cool like that. So, yeah, laterz. Love ya all.