Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Little Pleasure Prince ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Hours later she held up the new and improved DeWomanizer for Vegeta to inspect. Actually, it wasn't that new and improved. Mostly because she had used the old DeWomanizer parts to make it and she hadn't added anything to it. But hey, if those commercials could say it's 'new and improved', so could Bulma!

Vegeta stared at her handiwork for a moment in speculation. "What's the red button do again?"

Bulma frowned. "Okay, I'll go over this one last time. The red button is the self destruct, the blue is there because I like it, and the green is to un-attract all these women from you."

Vegeta nodded until Bulma put a finger to her chin, letting the gun dangle in the other, and continued. "Or did I change it? I might've made the blue button the one that DeWomanizes, the red the useless one, and the green the self-destruct...."

Vegeta grabbed the gun just before it hit the ground. "Be careful with that! Hours of this story have transpired so that the readers out there can get to the good stuf!"

Bulma stared out at the many people watching her every action and viewing her every thought, reading these very words in fact. "Oh. Sorry about that."

Vegeta scoffed and turned back to the problem at hand. Literally. He looked at the DeWomanizer and its three now thoroughly messed-up buttons. "Why did you switch the buttons and why don't you know which is which? You did make it, right?"

Bulma looked down at the earth beneath her feet and pushed it around with one foot. "Of course I made it! But, well, um, actually, I just thought it would be fun...."

Vegeta almost threw the DeWomanizer away from him in frustration. "You thought it would be fun? Are you crazy! I have--what, six females after me and you changed the very thing that could save me so you could have some fun?"

Bulma looked back up at him, pouting. "Well, its not like I have a boyfriend or anything. I get bored...."

Vegeta paused. "You don't have a boyfriend? What happened to that pathetic loser; the weakling?"

It took a moment for Bulma to sort through which of the Z Fighters he meant by 'pathetic loser' and 'weakling', considering they all were that to him and she was rumored to have slept with all of them at one time or another. She thought of Piccolo and shuddered. Throw that rumor out the window...oh, that's right, they're in the desert...um, out that--cactus?

"Yamcha? Oh, I realized how much of a loser he was once you came around because I started to compare him to you and then one day I thought, 'you know, Bulma, you really should just dump him. I mean, he's cheated on you so many times you can't even count them'. So I dumped him. Or he dumped me. It was never very clear."

Vegeta sweatdropped, then he cocked his head to one side, an eyebrow raised. "He cheated on you?"

Bulma rolled her eyes. "I just said that was what I thought. I didn't say it was true. Made me feel better about it though."

Vegeta nodded. "I've done that on several occasions. I mean, so what if all those soldiers at Frieza's bases pleaded for mercy, they still ate my box of Twinkies." He giggled.

Bulma sighed. "You and your Twinkies."

Vegeta grinned impishly, giggling, like a kid playing a sadistic trick on an adult. It was exactly how young Trunks would be grinning in about ten--ah, oops. Nevermind. "I even like the sound of their name," he giggled, "Twin-kies...." The first syllable came out high-pitched and he giggled again.

Bulma stared at him with wide-eyes. "Um, yeah. Well, anyways, hit the button already."

Vegeta sobered immediately. No! He wasn't drunk! "Which one, woman?"

Bulma shrugged. "Play ennie, meenie, minnie, moe."

Both his eyebrows rose to his widow's peak, and that's quite high. "Play what? Listen, woman, I know you might be succumbing to this attraction that's affecting every woman in the world, but you have to resist, okay?"

Bulma threw her head around in aggravation, wishing she had a stereo cord to wrap around the Saiyan's neck. Why a stereo cord? Why, to drown out the death rattle with good music. Maybe pop, or heavy metal? Anyways, back to the story....

"I am NOT attracted to you! You are not in the least bit attractive to me! The only way you could ever be attractive to me is if you suddenly and inexplicably--"

*POP!*

Bulma's tirade was stopped by the strange sound and she looked at the source of it with trepidation. "Pop?"

Vegeta shrugged. "I didn't say it." Since it sounded like it had come from behind him, he sat the gun gently onto the ground and twisted around. And continued to twist as the thing, whatever it was, somehow eluded him no matter how fast he turned.

Bulma stood back as Vegeta seemingly chased himself around, so fast that she couldn't see what exactly he was chasing that had also made the noise. She laughed lightly. He looked like a cat chasing his--nah, he couldn't have.

Suddenly he stopped with a triumphant sound as he held a squirming brown and fuzzy thing in his hands. He stilled suddenly. "My tail?" The tip of the appendage that had suddenly and inexplicably grown back twitched at him. "But how? I mean, I don't have it when the Androids co-- Ah, nevermind."

Bulma groaned aloud. "No! I mean, just because I said it--! I didn't even to get to knock on wood!" she wailed.

Vegeta grinned. "Really, woman. Wouldn't it hurt if you hit yourself on the head?"

Bulma glowered at him and spoke through gritted teeth. "Just. Pick. A. Button."

Vegeta continued to smirk at her, sharing in a joke that she didn't like the punchline to. "Why woman! What if I hit the self-destruct button? Then we'd never uncover this mysterious thing it would take you to be attracted to me...." He stopped just in front of her and waved his tail lazily in her face.

Bulma stared at the tail as if hypnotized. "Ohhhh, pretty, soft, brown, pretty. Must touch!" Just as she reached for the tail with an eagerly watching Vegeta--watching, someone called out.

Vegeta bit back a curse as Bulma turned, the spell lifted, to regard a form coming toward them. "If that's another female, I'll kick her butt myself!"

It was not a female though. It was a male. "Hey, babe! What are you doing in my neck of the woods?"

Bulma groaned again. "Yamcha? Since when did you come back to the desert?"

Yamcha chuckled as he stopped in front of the pair, giving Vegeta a friendly smile that immediately put him on edge. "Oh, I come back here and visit. I felt your guys's ki and thought I'd drop by and see what's going on.... So, what's going on?"

Vegeta quickly covered Bulma's mouth. "Nothing!"

Yamcha's brow rose. "Oh-kay. Anyways, Vegeta. I've found something I thought you might like...."

Vegeta narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Yeah." He suddenly yelped as Bulma bit down on his hand. He jumped back from the viper and shook his hand in the air, transferring his anger at her toward the pathetic weakling; not a hard thing to do. "Hurry it up."

Yamacha nodded. "Well, hope you like it. COME. ON. OUT. THING. I. FOUND."

Vegeta was shaking his head to clear his head of the ringing from Yamcha's yelling and stopped to stare as the 'thing' rounded the corner of a boulder. It was a female. A Saiyan female.

Yamcha grinned and moved behind the entranced Saiyan, pushing him gently toward the wide-eyed, spiky-haired female who had the same dark complexion as her Prince. "Go on and say hi." He sidled up to Bulma as Vegeta approached the other, as shy as the virgin he claimed he wasn't. "Isn't that romantic?"

Bulma shared her glare between the new female and the male beside her. "What are you pulling, Yamcha? I see Puar isn't with you...."

Yamcha groaned, the girl was simply too sharp for him; in more way than one.... "Bulma babe! Come on! It's been almost two weeks since we broke up! I can't stand it!"

Putting her hand on her hips, Bulma turned to directly face her ex-boyfriend. "And what does that have to do with Vegeta?"

Yamcha's cheeks became tinged with the color of his light blush. "Well, Bulma, I know about--you and him...."

The full impact of his words hit her like a ton of bricks. Not literally. She wouldn't be standing if that were true. "WHAT?! You're lucky we're not in a resturant full of people and I wasn't expecting you to propse to me or you'd really get it! Vegeta and I are not an item! We are two items!"

Yamcha scratched the side of his head and shrugged. "Okay. My bad. Anyways, watch."

Both Bulma and Yamcha turned to view the couple that were now close enough to speak so that the perspective could change to them and their conversation.

Vegeta stared at the tail that twitched behind the female in a nervous gesture. Ah, that was how the woman had felt. "Hello. My name is Vegeta, Saiyan no Ouji." Wow, great way to charm her off her feet. Way to go....

The other inclined her head hesitantly. "My name is Susan...second-class."

He cocked his head to one side. "How did you get here?"

Susan paused, then licked her lips nervously. "Well, Yamcha found me." Her dark brown eyes began to rove the Saiyan's body, causing Vegeta to squirm. "My, you look delicious."

"W-what?" He took a step back and it was matched by the Saiyan female. "Stay back! As your Prince I command you!"

Susan ignored him as she slid up to Vegeta closer than was comfortable for him, rubbing him with her tail suggestively. "I'm thinking whipped cream, cherries, and you shackled to my bed. What do you say?"

In answer, a wide-eyed Vegeta turned and took off into the air, the Saiyan behind him crowing in delight and giving chase. Unfortunately, since she was also Saiyan, she could fly....

Bulma shrieked. "Yamcha! Stop this! You have no idea what Vegeta's been going through! He'll be traumatized by this!"

Yamcha was staring at the Prince and his 'subject', the one merrily chasing the other around, through, and all over the desert in her exploit of--lust. "Wow! How did he do that? I've been trying to get Puar to change into a woman and--" He remembered who he standing beside belatedly and cleared his throat. "Um, PUAR!"

There was no reply from the Saiyan female who was actually Puar. Right now he was totally Susan the Saiyan...and totally female. Vegeta shrieked, a mimic of Bulma's, and turned to fire a multitude of ki blasts at the chasing female, who only laughed and dodged them, batting away the last. "Come to me, my Prince! Allow me to worship you! I'll worship your lips, and your arms, and your six pack, and every inch of your royal person, including the part that isn't an inch by a long shot!"

Shockingly, or maybe not considering that 'shackles' part, Vegeta ignored the compliment and continued to run--um, fly away from Susan, trying unsuccessfully to hit her with his ki blasts, which she either dodged or knocked aside.

Yamcha sweatdropped. "Um, I guess he got a little too into his character." He laughed nervously as he watched Susan phase out to appear in front of Vegeta, who barely dodged the woman's grasping arms by ducking down and dashing around her, continuing his fleeing as she continued her pursuit. "But don't worry. You know the shapeshifting only lasts for five minutes...."

"ONLY!"

"Woman!" Bulma turned in surprise to see Vegeta flying straight out for her, arms outspread as if to gather her up in them. "The DeWomanzier! Quickly!"

Bulma nodded and raced to the gun as Yamcha mouthed its strange but unique name, scooping it up and tossing it to the Prince who easily caught it, turning and stopping.

Susan herself stopped in confusion as Vegeta smirked and pressed the green button.

Nothing happened.

With a cackle that was highly Saiyan-like, Susan raced up and grabbed the DeWomanzier, demolishing Version 2.1 with her bare hands until nothing was left but a pile of dust, which she let sift through her fingers to be tossed about by those little wind demons mentioned last chapter. Why 2.1? Simple, it was the second one made, and Bulma had, indeed, changed the function of the buttons; hence the .1.

Vegeta's eyes widened as Susan dove in for the kill, planning on stripping the Saiyan with one violent gesture and doing it like eagles.... *POOF!*

And Vegeta was left staring at a bewildered looking Puar, who took one look at the growing angry Prince and, with the memory of all that had happened returning, blushed scarlet, 'eep'ed, and darted behind Yamcha, who was soon confronted by a raging Vegeta.

Yamcha did the smart thing, as every woman had done before Buma's wrath, and high-tailed it out of there.

Speaking of tails.... Vegeta turned back to Bulma, an eyebrow raised. "Now, where were we?"

Bulma started nervously, taking a step back. "Um, we're either going to argue about the buttons or discuss what to do now that the DeWomanizer is broken and unsalvagable."

Vegeta shook his head and regained the closness between them. "No, I think we we're going to skip ahead to me showing you how much more I value you above a Saiyan female. That okay?" His tail uncurled from his waist, where it had been out of pure habit, and waved enticely close to her blue eyes.

Bulma watched the tail avidly and nodded. "Whatever you say. Can I touch it?"

Vegeta tilted his head as if he offered her a great boon. "But of course. Gently."

Bulma nodded and stepped even closer to Vegeta, which made him smirk in triumph. "Oh, yes. It's so pretty...."

"Yes, woman, it is. You simply must feel it. It is soft and warm." Vegeta's voice was low and soothing.

Bulma's hand tenatively reached out to grasp the tail when--yep, they were interrupted. Boy, this story is predictable, eh?

Vegeta whirled around, a ki blast already formed. "Whoever just interrupted us is going to--" He gulped as his eyes trailed up the dark-green meltonous, oozing blob in front of him, craning his neck back so it was almost touching his spine.

Bulma followed his lead, actually taking a step back and gasping. "Wha-wha-what is that?"

The oozing monster answered her with a deep, gravelly voice. No, deeper and more gravelly than Vegeta's. "I am Melatose! I am an alien who has cursed the Prince by controlling woman's hormones so that they have eyes for him and only him and are drawn to him like a magnet. I don't know why I'm doing it." He shrugged and grinned evily down at the two. "Maybe because I'm bigger and I can."

Vegeta whirled on the woman, grabbing her wrist and taking off. "I told you that they were alien-controlled, hormone-driven woman who had eyes for me and only me and were drawn to me like a magnet!"

Bulma sniffed pompously as they landed six feet from the monster-alien, trying to regain the feeling in her arm after it had been so painfully jerked. "Oh, like I could've guessed that!"

She 'eep'ed, yes they do that a lot in this story, as Melatose lumbered toward them. "Now what?"

Vegeta smirked and shifted into a stance to prepare for a charge. "Now comes my favorite part of this story. We fight!"

A/N: Ohhh, the suspense is killing me! ACK! (falls over dead) Next chapter. A fight.... My favorite part, the part I've been leading up to for all this time, is coming up! Goodie!

Yes, that is as close as I'm getting to gay content. Cool idea, eh?

Now, since Susan got her fill of being a Saiyan...don't delve too deeply into the Puar-is-Susan-the-Saiyan thing, it'll just give you a headache...we can torture another young victim. Any volunteers? BTW, we're nearing the end...of course! Hurry in while you can. I plan on a finale like the fourth of July!

Mushi_anz: There! As gay as it's gonna get. (shudder) And that Trunks and the gay thing was GT.... I *hate* GT, it's not canon! :P

Sasn: That was a bit much, eh? I was blushing while I wrote it and every time I reread it. See, there isn't much detail there, so I'm not *that* sick! Oh, yeah. I made you a Saiyan. Why? (shrugs) I have no idea. But you actually managed to run him with your tail.... Don't even go there with the Puar thing. I am purposely not thinking about it!

Kitten: Well, you never know....

JadedBest: Here that, Vegeta? No JB this chapter! She's still running from Bulma in the last fic! lol Don't worry. She won't find anyone to replace you. Now, you got your tail back. So, review. And if a certain someone puts a certain someone in the review like I know they are thinking about doing because the temptation is now there, Vegeta, Bulma, and Ash will never find a way to get the DB's. IOW, no Goten! heehee Yes, I remember that line....

ssjprincess: Glad you liked. Um, Vegeta? i prefer a Final Flash if I'm going way down under.... Really, you're just so...fun to torture.... (shrugs) I could have Yajirobe hit on you.... (shrugs) I blame the tree-loving on my overdose of caffiene. Did you know they used to put coke in Coke? How do we know they still don't...? Hmph.... That is so not fair! I wanna f*** Vegeta! Hmph.... (plots torturing ssjprincess in fic unless she hands over Vegeta for a--um, day) ~_^ heehee

W-chan: Hey! Are you on the DBZFanfiction group? I recognize that name! Anyways, thanks! I have to be in a 'mood' to write this stuff....

Meowythecat: Yes, I have read stuff that made the characters a little OOC.... I guess I just freak them out is all.... I just remembered that 'if you keep your lip out like that a bird will poop on it', so when he pouted...well, it came naturally next.

SkittleKicks: Eh? What the heck? Okay, that's the weirdest review I've ever had.... Why are yo putting up walls? Okay, maybe I've having a blonde moment or something.... Anyways, I hope...I *think* you liked this chapter.... Oh, and thanks for the Yamcha idea!

MistressAlexa: A mistress, eh? I'd like to be Vegeta's mistress.... I'd make a good one.... Okay, yeah. TMI. Anyways, I'm glad you liked. Hope this one matched the other two.