Disclaimer: You know the drill…I don't own them. I'm just borrowing.

Different Definitions of Forever

By Kinomi

****

4:30 pm.

I was supposed to be working on reconciling the Field Sales Office's Expense reports, they were overdue already, but I just couldn't seem to bring myself to work on something so mundane and boring two days before Christmas. My mind kept wandering into things I didn't want to think about or remember. Of course my other option was to head out of the office early - I was the Accounting department manager after all - it was my prerogative, but where would I go? Home? If I went home early I would probably just be sucked into Goten's relentless holiday cheer, and I just wasn't in the mood to pretend. He was perky enough on a daily basis to be almost annoying, but he was ten times worse at the holidays. Almost unbearable as he charged around grinning in that stupid Santa hat he wore the entirety of December it seemed.

He'd decorated our house within an inch of its life; I could barely make it in the front door past the lights, wreaths and other festive whatnot. The tree he'd gotten for us this year was massive; it took up the entire dining room, strategically placed in front of the window facing the street. I'd thought it was a little much considering it was just the two of us now, but when I told him so, his eyes had clouded a moment before he pulled me to the floor with him, and made love to me slowly under the gaily-decorated pine tree.

I rested my chin in my hand as I stared blankly at the spreadsheet of expenses I was supposed to be working on. I sighed, I knew why Goten forced the holiday issue so hard; he tried to be cheerful to take our minds off the fact that Trunks was gone. It would be two years on Christmas morning since we had seen our boyfriend. That's why every year Goten put on a big show of the holidays…to cover his hurt. I knew it; it was the same hurt I felt that Trunks had just up and left us, with no explanation. Goten and I were like night and day with regards to how we dealt with it, but Trunks' leaving had undoubtedly brought us even closer together, as we cleaved to each other in grief as well as love.

My eyes fell on the silver framed picture on my desk and I picked it up, leaning over to push my office door shut. Trunks had given me this picture of the three of us the year he left. Looking at it occasionally made me cry - and I didn't need someone barging into my office while I was possibly bawling. I had done most of my crying over Trunks away from Goten. He had taken Trunks' leaving much harder than I had, but then he had been closer to Trunks than me. Even though I had been Trunks' girlfriend first. Despite the unconventional relationship the three of us had shared, Goten and Trunks truly shared a unity of being that had little to do with fusion or their feelings for me.

I rubbed my thumb over the glass protecting the photograph, covering Trunks' face with the pad of my thumb and smearing the glass. How many times had I thought of replacing this photograph with a more recent one of just Goten and I? To not be reminded of Trunks by seeing his handsome smiling face looking out of the expensive silver frame everyday. His arms slung casually around Goten's and my shoulders on a long ago vacation at the beach. But I never could, I couldn't let go of him either. At home Goten kept the clothes Trunks left behind in his part of the closet as if he were coming back. He kept everything the same as he'd left it. The only fight Goten and I'd ever had was when I had started sleeping on Trunks' part of our bed and using his pillow. I never told Goten it was because the pillow still held his scent, but I'm sure he knew.

Almost as if on cue my phone rang. I picked it up still looking at Trunks in the picture, hazy under the smudge of my thumbprint.

"Accounting. This is Marron." I answered tonelessly.

"Merry Christmas Beautiful." My heart literally stopped a moment at the low voice on the other end of the line. Instantly, unbidden memories filled my mind at the sound of his voice. The life the three of us had shared, how happy we had been… My two best friends, my lovers…my family.

"Trunks." I whispered, and tears came to my eyes. I'd kept telling myself how much I hadn't missed him, that Goten had been hurt more than I had, but just hearing his voice was tearing me up.

"The very same. How's my girl?" He asked me, like he talked to me all the time and hadn't disappeared from our lives almost two years ago. He sounded like he'd seen me that morning. I didn't know what to say, I wanted to sob - I wanted to scream.

"Where have you been? Where are you?" I croaked out. His laughter was a soft purr in my ear and I closed my eyes against the involuntary parade of memories his chuckle raised: Weekend days the three of us would spend all day in bed together doing nothing but talking and laughing and making love. Being held in the sweat soaked cradle of their embrace, Goten against my back as Trunks held on to us both, kissing Goten and then me, whispering he loved us…that he always would.

"Nowhere…everywhere. Right now I'm outside your office." He said. I looked out the tinted window of my third floor office that overlooked the oh so fabulous parking lot, and saw Trunks on his cell phone, leaning against a sporty looking aircar. I knew there was no way he could see me through the mirrored glass, but he raised a hand anyway. He looked the same, clad in dark clothes and wearing sunglasses. My heart pumped frantically. Why was he here? Why now? Did Goten know?

"I haven't talked to Chibi yet." He said as if he knew my thoughts. " I wanted to see you first."

"Why?" I asked automatically, watching him through the window as he blew upwards into his bangs in that familiar gesture that spoke volumes he wouldn't say out loud.

"Well besides the obvious, I was hoping maybe you'd help smooth things over with Chibi-" I was annoyed as I cut him off.

"He doesn't like being called that." I snapped. The shock of him showing up out of the blue was wearing off and now I was finding myself getting angry, not just angry that he'd hurt me, but angry he'd hurt Goten too. Goten was more sensitive than Trunks or I…he hadn't deserved this.

"All right. Goten then." He said evenly.

"So after two YEARS that's the only reason you call me, because you need me to help you?" I asked incredulously, and that little insight hurt almost as much as his absence. He sighed.

"Of course not, you impossible woman. Quit jumping to conclusions. Now are you coming down to talk to me or do I have to come up there?" He threatened me. I bit my lip to keep from screaming at him, the absurdity of the whole thing making my stomach clench. Typical Trunks.

"Bugger off!" I yelled childishly, and hung up the phone sharply on him, clapping my hands over my mouth after I did it. I looked out the window and saw him snap his cell phone shut, head tilted up toward my office window. He put the phone in the pocket of his leather jacket and folded his arms. Across the distance I felt his regard, even though I couldn't see his eyes behind the sunglasses, I could feel him looking at me…into me. Or maybe it was my imagination, but Trunks had always affected me so.

I was debating my next move - privately amazed that I did have options besides running downstairs and throwing my arms around him. I could run downstairs and kick him in the nuts instead. I wanted to call Goten, beg him to come save me from this moment, these feelings. To make it all go away. But it was the same as why I hadn't grieved for Trunks in his presence. Trunks had been Goten's and my strength, when he left; I'd been strong for Goten's sake, even as I'd wanted to cling to him and sob out my heartbreak with him. I didn't want to drag poor Goten into this until I had to.

I saw Trunks push off from the car he was leaning against and head toward the entrance of my building and I panicked. I was half way through dialing the kitchen line at Goten's restaurant, even though I knew they were in the middle of preparing for dinner and he'd probably be cross at me, when I came to my senses. I fumbled in my desk drawer to get my purse. Maybe I could sneak out the fire stairs while he was held up in reception. The fact he obviously knew where I lived not occurring to me at that precise moment. Only the need to escape.

I took precious seconds to shut down my computer, hoping that man-crazy twit of a receptionist we had would stall him long enough that I could save my work and still beat a hasty. I was in luck it seemed that I managed to scurry out of my office and over to the stairs without running into the purple haired wonder.

I bounded down the three flights of stairs, hoping to make it to the parking area and my car before Trunks realized where I went. I knew this wasn't the way to handle Trunks' sudden reappearance, by running away, but I was scared. Scared of what Trunks returning would mean for me and Goten…for all of us.

I rounded the last turn of the stairwell, the back exit door illuminated by a pencil thin band of bright sunlight that streamed in the crack of the door, cutting the gloom of the darkened stairway. I was fumbling in my own purse for sunglasses - it was going to be bright as hell out there - when I pulled up short three steps from the bottom.

"Shit." I muttered. Trunks was leaning against the wall of the stairwell next to the door arms folded, waiting for me.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to skip out on me." He said with a little smirk.

"Well you'd know wouldn't you?" I asked him sarcastically. He at least had the good grace to look a little chagrined at that before the mask of amused disdain Trunks always wore slipped back over his handsome face.

"Ouch…guess I deserved that." He said lightly. I was still angry, and hurt, and confused, and a million other emotions that all spelled trouble. I decided I didn't need to point out the obvious and agree with him. I folded my arms across my chest. I was sweating like crazy in my silk suit, even though the dark concrete cavern of the stairway was cold. Trunks and I stared at each other from five feet away in the dim light, saying nothing. He'd changed some in the two years he'd been gone. He'd been working out and he looked…good. Better than ever. Damnit.

My eyes locked with his and he smiled, as if he knew what I had been thinking as I looked him over. "It's been a long time Marron…I've missed you." He said softly, that voice of his stirring something in me, something very near and dear to panic.

"Trunks--" I started, and he closed the distance between us in a heartbeat. His face inches from mine. I was still standing on the bottom step of the stairwell, which put me eye level with Trunks. Goten was even taller, if he had been the one before me I'd have had to stand on the second step to be even with his eyes. I looked into Trunks' blue, blue eyes. He was so close to me I could see every fleck of darker azure that made up the crystalline color. It had been so long since I had looked into eyes other than darkest ebony from this distance. I could feel Trunks' breath on my face as I gazed at him in wonder. His pale lavender hair I knew would be silky soft and slick. Not coarse like Goten's hair.

I was so preoccupied with the differences between my former lover and my current one that I didn't even think to protest when Trunks leaned forward and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm, his kiss as skillful as ever, but it didn't move me like it once did. Once upon a time Trunks had been able to reduce me to a quivering mass with his kisses alone. He had always been able to play me like a violin…now there was nothing. No spark that leapt between us. Not like there was when Goten touched me.

I yanked my head back away from Trunks', more in surprise at my lack of response and realization, than any sense of propriety. After all, there had been a time when I welcomed both of them into my heart and my body. There was no sense pretending I had any high moral ground to stand on now. Trunks' eyes narrowed slightly and he moved to kiss me again - he must have some agenda I wasn't cooperating with, I thought - but before he could, the clang of the stairway door opening on one of the floors above us paused him.

I took advantage to retreat a step higher, away from Trunks. The move put me higher than him, and he had to look up into my face as he leaned nonchalantly against the railing, smirking at me. I refolded my arms over my breasts and tried not to look at Trunks while we waited for the people to leave the stairwell. I nodded at them politely, it was a couple of secretaries from the marketing department in my company unfortunately, and they looked at us curiously. I didn't want to know what they thought of seeing me with Trunks; since Goten came around my office with annoying regularity to take me to lunch, to bring me cookies he'd baked, or flowers… He always had a smile for everyone he saw, everyone he met liked him; and now I probably looked like I was skulking around with someone else. Or maybe it was just my conscience getting to me that I'd let Trunks kiss me.

I turned my head to the side when they opened the door to the parking lot; even so, the bright sun constricted my pupils painfully, just as I'd suspected it would. I saw the disapproving looks of my co-workers before they disappeared into the bright sunlight and it made me feel even worse. Still, they had no right to judge me. The exit door shut, enveloping us in relative darkness again. I closed my eyes, bright spots of color dancing against my eyelids as I waited for them to adjust. I stiffened as I felt Trunks' hands on my waist, lifting me off the step and down to his level.

"Where were we? Ah yes…catching up." He purred at me and folded me into his arms. Tilting my face up to his to kiss me again. His body felt strange against mine now, and I couldn't figure out why at the time. It was almost as if I couldn't get comfortable against him, as silly as that sounds. The door above us opened again with a bang…more people leaving work. It was about five now…quitting time. Trunks pulled his face back from mine with a scowl. "Goddamnit!" He complained. "Come on."

He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me after him out into the parking lot. I stumbled after him, not being able to see the cracks and uneven ground with him yanking me along. "Trunks! Where are we going?" I said, right before I tripped on a particularly large crack in the lot's concrete and nearly went to my knees. He hauled me back up to my feet none to gently.

"You're still a spaz. Can't you even walk across the parking lot?" He laughed, and I got mad. Digging my heels in I leaned back, yanking my hand back out of his.

"Not with you dragging me along like a three year old, no." I snapped, readjusting my purse on my shoulder. Trunks just snickered at me. Glad I was so entertaining.

"Sorry. I just figured you didn't want an audience is all." He told me. I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn't much liking the insinuation in his voice. I put my hands on my hips. We were about halfway to Trunks' car, and I could see my older and far less sporty car a couple of spaces beyond his.

"Audience for what? What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked far too loudly, as I noticed other people glancing over at us nervously as they went to their cars. The same uncomfortable way you look at anyone making a scene in a public place. God, I was handling this badly, I knew it. But this was not exactly how I planned my day would go when I got up this morning. Trunks stepped closer again. He'd slipped his sunglasses back on - I guess when he was hauling me after him like so much baggage - but it meant I couldn't see his eyes. He took my chin in his fingers, leaning close to me.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about." He purred at me, and brushed his lips against mine in the briefest kiss.

This was too much. It was one thing that he had kissed me in the stairwell. The shock of seeing him again after two years had clouded my judgment, and honestly, I had missed him. But he was just making too big of an assumption here that he could waltz back into my life - OUR lives - and pick up like he had never been gone. And what about Goten? How was he going to figure into this if he was suggesting renewing our old relationship? After all, he had said he wanted my help to smooth things over for him with Goten, was this how he was trying to go about it? Using sex to manipulate me again, like he always had. Whenever we had an argument, he would seduce me until I forgot what I was angry about. It was a type of evasion with him, and I knew what he was avoiding, why he had laid on with the heavy seduction the minute he saw me. He didn't want to tell me why he had come back.

Or why he'd left.

Well it wasn't going to work this time. I pushed him away from me. Irritated with him for trying to use sex to control me, and angry with myself for almost letting him, and for making a scene in the parking lot of my work.

"Shall we go home and finish this?" Trunks said grinning. Obviously undeterred by my pushing him away. His voice was too seductive, too intimate, and it brought everything into focus for me. Having the opposite effect I'm sure, than Trunks had intended.

"No we shall not." I told him tartly, standing my ground. "Our house isn't your home anymore. And I'm not going anywhere with you, especially to bed, until you tell me why you left us. And why you've come back. Seducing me isn't going to work," I told him when he made a move toward me, "so you might as well save yourself the effort and start talking."

Trunks sighed, hopefully realizing at last that his usual tactics weren't going to work on me, and that after knowing him my whole life, and being involved with him sexually over a span of nearly six years, he was going to have to learn to deal with me directly. It was a small victory, but in wars of the heart you have to count every one.

"If you want to air our dirty laundry in public can we at least do it someplace where I can sit down and have a decent cup of coffee?" Trunks asked me with a long-suffering look.

"That I can do." I told him.

****

5:15 pm.

I took him to Beaniac, this trendy little coffee house not too far from my office. They had good coffee, but were way over priced in my opinion. So I made Trunks pay. The neat part about the place however, was the clusters of comfy cushy chairs scattered around that you could pull into groups, as you liked. The very best part was that it was on the opposite side of town from Goten's restaurant. Which suited me just fine.

We got our drinks and pulled a couple of chairs over near the windows. The café was on the second floor of the building, giving a good view of the street for people watching. Normally, it was the busiest part of the café. We were lucky that the place was dead. Not too many leisure coffee drinkers on these last frantic shopping days before Christmas. Which reminded me I still hadn't gotten a present for Goten yet. The piles upon piles of presents under our tree at home were all Goten's doing. That man loved to shop almost as much as Trunks' sister. I was mildly embarrassed by the number of presents with 'Marron' on the tags. I noticed there was even one that said 'Trunks', the same as last year. I was reminded suddenly of Goten's face when Christmas came and went with no word from Trunks, and how he had just quietly added the wrapped gift to the pile that he sent home with Bra when she visited the day after Christmas. I wondered if Trunks ever got that gift, and what it was that Goten had given him.

I watched Trunks as I sipped my coffee quietly. He propped his elbow on the armrest of the chair and rested his head on his fist as he looked back at me. The pose made him look boyish, charming, and endearing.

"So?" I prompted when he said nothing, just looked at me with a faint smile.

"You cut your hair," he murmured at me. "It looks pretty." I reached up and tugged absently on a lock. I had chopped my hair off in a blunt cut just below my chin over a year ago. My father said it made me look even more like my mother than I did before; only I parted mine in the middle. Goten said it made me look hot. I just thought it was easier to care for.

"Yeah…thanks." I muttered back.

"How's Chibi doing, Marron? Is he taking care of himself?" Trunks asked. I set my coffee down on the windowsill and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"He's fine. He spends too much time at the restaurant, but that's the way it goes with a new business. Restaurants take at least two years before they show a profit after all. I think Goten's refusing to hire another chef until he knows whether or not the place is going to be a true success. He works really hard." I told him, the pride evident in my voice. I was more comfortable talking profit and business in relation to Goten, rather than share with him about the long hours we'd spent together getting the place ready to open. All the recipes Goten had tried out on everyone, but mostly me. I was Goten's accountant as well; and I had been there for the realization of Goten's dream. Trunks had only been around in the earliest planning stages, when Goten had been applying for loans and looking for a location. Now his place was more than a reality, it was thriving. And Trunks had missed it all.

"How does he look?"

I tilted my head a bit on that one. It was like he hadn't even heard what I'd told him about Goten's restaurant. Trunks knew as well as I did that Goten had always wanted to own his own business and be independent. I would have thought Trunks would show a little more excitement or support about it.

"He needs a haircut." I said dryly. Which was an understatement. Goten's hair had been on the longish side when the three of us had been together. I had cut my long hair, but Goten had let his grow. He only trimmed the front to keep it out of his eyes, the back he kept pulled in a ponytail that went past the middle of his back. I teased him about it constantly, but I loved Goten's long hair. I swallowed back my unease. I didn't like Trunks asking me questions about Goten, like he was some puppy who had been left in my care and was now going to be returning to his owner. I had no idea how close to the truth I was then.

Trunks grinned at me. "Same old Chibi. He'll never change." I stiffened.

"He doesn't like being called that." I said automatically. Trunks' smile faded.

"Right. I'll remember that." Trunks said. "I'm glad he's had you to keep an eye on him while I was gone Marron. That really put my mind at ease. He needs to have his friends around him." I blinked at him dumbly.

"While you were gone?" I repeated incredulously, he acted like he'd just popped out for a gallon of milk or something. "Trunks, you up and vanished on us. On Christmas of all days, and now here you are acting like you've been gone a week. It's been two years. Where the hell have you been?" I snapped at him.

"I told you," Trunks said calmly, sipping his coffee. "I've been all over the world. No one place in particular. Spent some time with Uub training." He shrugged. Yeah, right…no big deal.

"Why'd you leave?"

Trunks gave me that smile, the one designed to charm the anything's off any woman - or man - he pointed it at. "Marron, you probably don't want the answer to that." He said gently. It sounded like a reproach to me and I tried not to take offense. But I could feel myself flush with shame at the implication that he had left because of me. I raised my eyes to his, my mouth trying to form the words when he said them for me.

"What you really want to know is why I came back?" He asked in that same gentle voice. I nodded mutely. Trunks leaned closer to me and took my hands in his.

"When I was gone there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't regret what I had done by leaving. I wanted to come back, I wanted things to be like they were, but I was…afraid. I've never been in a relationship like that before, Marron. You know how it was; it could be overwhelming at the best of times. I wasn't mature enough to deal with everything and I panicked. It was stupid." He told me.

"Go on." I prompted, when he fell silent.

"You and Goten have been my best friends for as long as I can remember. And you and I…we had some good times together didn't we?" He murmured. I mumbled something in the affirmative. "I know we'll always be close Marron, that's why I came to you first. Because I knew you could help me, will you help me?" Trunks pleaded.

My eyes widened. I had known Trunks my whole life, and in my twenty-five years of existence I have never heard Trunks beg for anything that wasn't sexual in nature. I didn't like it…it wasn't natural.

"Help you with what?" He looked up at me with those melting blue eyes of his. He really was so handsome, and I'd missed him. I really had. I reached out with my free hand and brushed the two rogue strands of his hair back out of his eyes.

"You've got to help me get him back." Trunks said quietly, and I froze, the blood in my veins turning to ice. "I've missed him so much, Marron. He's my best friend, the other half of me. These two years have been hell without him. Uub was the one who finally convinced me to swallow my pride and come back. I love him Marron, I have to have him in my life."

Hearing those words come out of Trunks' mouth echoed what was in my heart. What had been in my heart for over a year. The realization hit me like a two punch along with Trunks' announcement. He's my best friend, the other half of me. I love him and I have to have him in my life Trunks had said…how ironic that I should feel exactly the same way about Goten.

"Wh-What do you expect me to do? You left, Trunks. You really hurt him." I said, finishing with and me, in my head. Trunks looked at me for a long minute before resting his forehead on our clasped hands. He didn't seem to be too concerned with my feelings on the subject at all, which felt like a slap in the face. He was more concerned with Goten, and that's when it hit me. He hadn't come back for me, or for us.

He'd come back for Goten.

I tried not to gasp aloud and I pulled my hands out of Trunks'. "You bastard." I hissed accusingly. "That's what this is about - and all that nonsense in the stairwell - you came back just for Goten."

"Yes," Trunks admitted, "I love him, Marron. I'm not complete without him." I put my hands over my ears. I couldn't hear this - I couldn't bear it.

"Don't." I whispered, but he kept talking.

"Please try to understand, every single day that I was gone I thought only of Goten, and how happy we used to be…before you. That day, four years ago, we invited you to our home hoping to receive your forgiveness, but it wasn't us who needed the forgiveness, it was you that needed our sympathy.

Chibi felt sorry for you, and brought you in, but then never had the heart to let you go. Things were so much simpler before that, and I want that simple life back. I can't live without him, and I know he can't live without me."

"Don't be so sure," I whispered. My eyes burned with unshed tears. My chest hurt, that Trunks would say that all we had been to each other had been born out of pity. Goten's pity.

Trunks was hurting me again to have what he wanted. It was just like the day I had found out about them, back when Trunks was my entire world. I had only to close my eyes to remember how I felt that day. But it only devastated me then because I had given Trunks the power to hurt me. This time it was only my pride that was really injured. Trunks no longer had that power over me; I'd had two years to get over him…two wonderful years with Goten. My stomach clenched at the very thought of losing him.

"Marron…" Trunks' tone was mildly condescending. "Goten and I were a couple. We belong together. I've made mistakes, with you and with Chibi, I know. But I'm going to fix it. I know what I want in life now, I want-"

"I'm in love with him, Trunks." I interrupted. I couldn't stand it anymore. Trunks was making me nuts with his selfish behavior. Like the sun rose and set on him alone.

Trunks looked at me surprised. "You what? Since when?" I looked out the window overlooking the street. Darkness was starting to creep around the buildings below - it got dark early in winter - and the streetlamps were just coming on as people hurried to and fro to finish their shopping. My coffee had cooled, forgotten on the windowsill. I didn't have the stomach for it anymore anyway.

"Quite a while now," I said quietly, "When you left…us, we didn't know why, or what to do. Goten was hurting so badly. He needed me, and I needed him, so we stayed together in the house. At first it was like we were waiting for you to come back, but after a while…" I trailed off. Trying to explain that after a time Goten and I had gone on with our lives without him. I turned my eyes back to Trunks. He was sitting back in the chair now, looking at me narrowly.

"I see. The minute my back was turned you just moved right in on him." Trunks said coldly. I stiffened, sitting up straighter in the chair.

"It wasn't like that. You left, Trunks. What were we supposed to do? We got on with our lives…" I tried to explain.

"And you just fell in love with my boyfriend." Heavy on the possessive there I noticed.

I flushed hot at the way he put it. Like I had gone behind his back or something. But there was no other answer besides an honest one. "Yes, I guess I did. I love him."

"Well we have a problem then." Trunks' low, dangerous, voice made me lift my head up to meet his eyes again. He was angry. I could see it in the tight lines of his body, in the snapping blue fire of his eyes. I had become the enemy.

"The only problem I see is you coming back." I told him, and flinched when Trunks leaned toward me, his handsome scowling face in mine.

"You think so? I mean to have him back, Marron. I had hoped that you would respect my feelings for him and help me. Instead I find that you've been sucking off Goten all this time like a leech." He told me. Ouch. He was really going in for the kill. "The only reason you and Goten ever got together was because of me, and Goten's big heart." He bit out. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"Say whatever you want to me, Trunks. But I love Goten, and I won't let you hurt him again."

"It's not up to you." Trunks said. I fisted my hands in my lap.

"I won't give him up!" I said hotly through clenched teeth.

"I guess we're going to have to let Chibi decide then." He told me, and smiled. The knot of dread that was coiling in my stomach now felt like a stone. Because I couldn't be sure if it came down to a choice which one of us Goten would choose to be with. "You don't look so confident now, Marron. I had to choose between the two of you once remember? I chose him, because we belong together. Do you really think that if he were in the same position he would choose you over me?" He asked, cocking his head to the side. I bit my lip.

"I don't know." I whispered. Trunks put his hands on my knees as he leaned toward me to speak. We about had the place to ourselves, we could have screamed full volume at one another and no one would care - but this was a matter best settled in intimate whispers. Dirty laundry indeed.

"I do know, Marron. Goten and I have something together that you couldn't possibly understand, or compete with. And if you think you can than I feel very sorry for you." He told me gently, like he was truly regretful…which I doubted. "I don't mean to hurt you. That wasn't what I intended when I came to see you today. I had no idea that you two would have become anything more than casual lovers. I'm sorry."

I felt the tears that had been threatening the backs of my eyes make good on the promise as Trunks wavered in my vision. "Not sorry enough to go away and leave us alone though." I told him bitterly, my voice cracking. Trunks squeezed my knees.

"No Marron. I need him. I just wish there was another way besides making him choose, it'll be hard on him." I looked at him in confusion as the fat tears slid down my cheeks. I was already starting to mourn Goten the more I thought about it. I was his friend, his lover…but Trunks. Trunks was right…what he and Goten'd had I couldn't hope to compete with.

"Chibi cares for you, he always has. Hurting you will upset him. I wish I didn't have to put him through that."

I pressed my lips together in a thin line. "Maybe…" I started, but Trunks shook his head sadly. As if he knew what I was going to say. He probably had.

"You could spare him all that." Trunks suggested. I shook my head. He sighed. "All right then. If that's how you want it, but if I were you I wouldn't wait for Goten to make up his mind. Especially since we know what the outcome will be."

"Good thing you aren't me then." I said tightly.

"I'm just saying that if you really loved him, you wouldn't put him in this position." I closed my eyes tightly, squeezing the tears out. The nerve of Trunks was truly limitless. Yet at the same time I couldn't wholeheartedly disagree. He'd always known Goten so much better than I had. Maybe he was right…I believed he wouldn't say these things to me just to be sadistic. I think he really thought he was helping me. He had loved me once - that had to count for something. He took my clenched hands out of my lap, where I had been digging my nails into my palms while he spoke. "I know it won't be easy. Especially if you truly love him."

I gave a strangled bark of laughter as I looked away. What did he know about things not being easy? He'd always taken the easy way out. He wouldn't know difficult if it bit him on the ass. Trunks let go of my hands and stood.

"I'll give you some time to decide how you want to handle this, all right? I'll come over late tonight to talk to Chibi." He said, resting his hand on my shoulder. I felt I had to try one more time.

"Don't do this to us, Trunks. Please."

"I'm sorry Marron." He squeezed my shoulder as I dropped my head into my hands. I never heard him leave.

****

6:30 p.m.

I went home. Where else was I going to go? I don't even remember leaving the coffee house, or driving across town to our house. I remember that I made it into the driveway and parked before I broke down. I think it was the lights, the hundreds of cheerful Christmas lights Goten had put up while I grumped good-naturedly and helped him. He had left the Christmas lights on for me, set on their timer before he left to cook dinner at the restaurant, making our house look inviting. Like a home.

When I had myself a little more under control I went inside. I stood in the darkened foyer, lit only by the white glow of the Christmas tree lights in the dining room. Goten had decorated the tree with white this year, lights, ornaments, ribbons…everything pale against the dark green of the tree. It was stunning. I walked around it slowly, like I had never seen it before. I wandered our house in the ambient light like a ghost. Remembering everything, when we had painted, when I helped Goten remodel the kitchen so it was more to his liking. It was the kitchen I stayed in the longest. I felt his presence there the strongest, since this one room, more than any other in the house was Goten's domain. I could barely make tea.

I trailed my fingers over Goten's spotless counters. For all that everyone said Goten was so much like his father, in this he was more like his mother. I saw ChiChi's influence in many of the things Goten did: his discipline, his desire to make something of himself…and his clean streak. I put my head down on his counter in a pool of light thrown by the hood over the stove and cried again. The ticking of the cooling oven was soothing and I could smell cookies. I wondered if this meant that for the rest of my days the smell of Christmas cookies would remind me of heartbreak.

Wiping my tears on the back of my hand I drifted at last to our bedroom. I remembered when we'd bought this house, not long after the three of us had returned from that trip to the Papaya Islands. Goten had said it wasn't fair that I lived with them in "their" apartment; the three of us should have a place that was ours from the start. It hadn't been more than a handful of months after that when Trunks had left. This house had always been Goten's and mine.

I took my silk suit off, carefully hanging the jacket and skirt so I could get another wear out of it before taking it to the cleaners. I stripped the rest of the way down to my underwear and deposited my clothes into the hamper woodenly. I grabbed an old worn pair of jeans, the softest I owned, and a random sweatshirt out of the closet to change into. I carefully avoided looking at Goten's half of the closet where Trunks' abandoned clothes still hung. It hurt to think that if Trunks had his way it would become his closet again.

I was going to put my comfy clothes on when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I was pale against the darkness of the room and I dropped my clothes forgotten as I stood before the full-length mirror and stared. The woman in the mirror was slender, frail looking, with wide haunted eyes. I wondered how much of my mental state was affecting the way I saw myself. My body was nicely proportioned, even if I was on the small side compared to Trunks and Goten. After all…height wasn't on my side, even if I am twice as tall as my father.

I reached over and switched on the bedside lamp so I could see myself better. The lamp bathed me in its warm glow and I studied myself with a critical eye. Taking in my flaxen hair and pale skin, such a contrast to Goten, I was like the day to his night. The red bra and panties I wore made my skin seem even fairer. I had no plain white or beige lingerie anymore - Trunks had seen to that when he lived with us. I had just never gotten around to replacing the sexier lingerie he'd bought me with the more functional, and frankly comfortable kinds. Still, I looked good - hot, as Goten would say - if you chose to ignore my red tearstained face and bloodshot eyes.

But was being pretty and having a good body enough? How could I compare to Trunks if that was what Goten really wanted? Trunks' body was hard, muscular…even more so now. I was definitely female, softer, rounder… how could I begin to compete? The truth was I couldn't. Even I knew that. If it were another woman Goten wanted then I might have a fighting chance.

There came a soft rustle from behind me and I raised my eyes to the mirror again. Already knowing whom I would see reflected there. Goten's large frame lounged in the doorway watching me. He'd thankfully taken off the Santa hat, but still wore his chef's jacket, although it wasn't as pristine white as when he'd left home I could guarantee. He smiled at me when my eyes reached his face in the mirror, so sweet and guileless he was. His eyes warm and loving, and I turned and went to him, letting him fold me into his arms. And I suddenly knew what was off when Trunks had tried to do the same to me earlier. Trunks felt wrong, we didn't fit together anymore…not the way Goten and I did. He lowered his head to me to give me a kiss that I met with unbridled ardor. Trunks may have had confidence that he would have Goten back - and he probably would - but for now Goten was still mine. I could pretend a while longer that we hadn't a care in the world and that his loving gazes would always belong to me alone.

"Mmmmm…I should come home from work early more often." Goten murmured smiling when I let him up for air. I was still on my tiptoes so I could reach his lips, well more like his chin unless he helped by leaning down, which he did. His skin was warm and velvety soft where I exposed it, reaching under the back of his jacket to subtly untuck his shirt and touch him. Despite my heartache, or perhaps because of it, I wanted him. I wanted to lose myself one last time in his big gorgeous body, to feel his hands on me, his lips on mine…to be one with him. I said nothing as I pulled him with me toward our bed. Our bed. I buried my face in his chest and clung to him, it was our bed now. Trunks had no place in it, and I felt the tears threaten again as I hugged Goten tight.

"I should shower, huh? I probably stink like sweat and garlic." He said apologetically. My shoulders shook in silent sobs that could have been laughter. The end of my world as I knew it was upon me, and he was worried about how he smelled. I loved and needed him so much at that moment I couldn't care less what he smelled like. He smelled like heaven to me.

I shook my head, still not trusting my voice. I moved far enough away from him so I could get my hands between us to start undressing him. I was halfway through his chef jacket when he tipped my face up to his with a finger under my chin.

"Have you been crying?" He asked me concerned. I must have been a complete fright if he noticed in the dim light. I gave him a little shrug in answer and kept diligently at his buttons. His hands on my head were gentle as he smoothed my hair, running his fingers through it. "Bad day at the office?" He murmured to me. I tried not to laugh bitterly aloud at the irony.

"You have no idea." I mumbled at him, freeing the last button of the jacket. I don't know why the blasted things had to be double breasted anyway. It made him like a box with too much packing tape.

"Only a little longer Marron. Pretty soon the restaurant will be in the black and then you can quit that awful place and come work with me. Like we always planned. It'll be great." He told me. My hands stilled on him as I was pulling off the jacket, my nose nearly against his t-shirt clad chest. God, something else I didn't want to think about.

From the very earliest planning stages, when Trunks and I had listened to Goten talk endlessly about the restaurant he wanted to open, and how great it would be, he had included me in his plans. When we had still counted on Trunks' income to supplement our own, Goten had wanted me to do the books full time for the restaurant from the very beginning. But when Trunks left us we'd had to make due with my income alone. There had been a few months when we'd been afraid that Goten might have to close the restaurant and get a job before I had been offered a promotion at my work to Department head. It was a lot more money, but it meant working directly under the company's Chief Financial Officer. He was a real asshole who had crossed the line of sexual harassment with me more than once. Once I took the position he seemed to think I owed him something for it - namely, my body. After a few months, when I'd made it obvious there was no way I'd sleep with him, he'd made it his personal mission in life to make me miserable. And here I'd thought that was Trunks' job.

"I know what you've put up with in order to keep the restaurant going, Marron…" Goten said softly. I looked up at him in surprise, I'd never told Goten about my boss's unwelcome advances. Afraid of what Goten would do. I didn't need to get fired when I was the one who paid our bills. Goten took my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing over my cheekbones, I loved it when he did that. "…And I know why you never told me about it too."

"I'm sorry." I whispered, resting my hands on his wrists. "How did you know?"

Goten gave a little chuckle. "I'm not stupid, Marron. I've seen how he looks at you, how he talks to you. Why do you think I come by your office so much? I mean…how many late night budget planning meetings does one company need to have?" Goten said indignantly. I smiled slightly.

"I thought you came to see me 'cause you're hot for my body." I joked, even as more tears leaked out of my eyes. I had borne the burden of my boss's inappropriate behavior alone, the same way I had grieved for Trunks' absence alone, because I didn't want to trouble Goten with it when he had a business to worry about. And all this time he had known, and looked out for me in his own way. At that moment I hated Trunks with the same passion that I loved Goten. Trunks would come here soon and try to take my happiness, my love, my life, away from me. Goten had become my whole world - losing him would kill something inside of me, something that was fine, and good, and strong. The thing that made me a better person because he was in my life would be gone.

Goten pulled me closer into a hug, holding me tight to his muscular chest. "Of course I'm hot for your body," he murmured into my hair, "I'm just making sure nobody else touches it but me. It's mine." I gave a weak giggle. His possessive comment would have made me feel loved and cherished this morning, now it made me all too aware of what I could lose. Goten kissed the top of my head. "Let me make you forget about that jerk and your bad day. I'll take a quick shower then I'll make us a nice dinner. We'll have a bottle of wine and cuddle on the couch…" Goten said, and then tipped my face up to his before he gave me a seductive look. "…And then I'll have you for dessert. Sound good?" He asked.

My stomach took a nosedive and flip flopped as I looked up into his handsome face. It sounded more than good to me, but I knew Trunks was coming over. There might not be time for all Goten wanted to do. That and my own desire to enjoy Goten one last time motivated me. I curled my fingers in the waistband of his jeans and pulled him with me as I backed toward our bed.

"Sounds wonderful," I purred at him and sat on the edge, looking up to him. "But how about we reverse the order?" I suggested as I lay back on my elbows. Hoping that despite my tearstained face I looked appealing enough in the red lace underwear to make him forget his stomach for a while. I guess I was as Goten looked down on my body with hooded eyes and pulled his t-shirt off. I watched in rapt fascination as Goten slowly stripped bare in front of me. I wanted to lick and touch every inch of skin he bared, to just fall to his feet and worship the pagan perfection that was my Goten.

I reached for the clasp of my bra and he stopped me. "Nuh uh…I wanna do it." I let my hands fall away and tilted my head back to receive Goten's kiss as he lowered his body to mine. Parting my lips for his tongue at the barest brush of it, he tasted wonderful, he always did. He pulled back and smiled at me, his dark eyes sparkling in the low light of the room before he lowered them to look at my body. With one finger he traced from my lips down over my collarbones to between my breasts. "Look what I can do." He whispered, and with one hand undid the clasp of my bra in a quick motion. He looked so pleased with himself I had to smile.

"Very clever. Been practicing that have you?"

He wagged his eyebrows at me grinning as he pulled off my bra. He's the most playful lover I've ever had. Even when he's being passionate and intense, there is this quality of teasing and fun with Goten. Like he's a little kid and I'm the playground is the only way I can describe it. I closed my eyes and gave into the sensations of Goten's hands on my body as he stripped me bare as he was. Skin to skin we pressed; just holding one another close at first. I tucked my face into his neck, his long coarse hair falling me around like a cloak. Letting me hide from the reality that this could be my last time with him. Goten seemed to sense what I needed, murmuring sweet words of love as his caresses slowed.

He rolled on the bed pulling me on top of him, letting me set the pace. I pushed up on my arms to gaze down into his deep eyes before I lowered my face to his. I kissed his eyelids, his chin, his cheeks, before I let myself taste his mouth. I loved his kisses, but then I loved everything about Goten: his dark laughing eyes, his strength, and his tenderness… I loved the feel of his warm velvet skin under my hands and against my bare body. And I especially loved the feel of his hands on me; the hands I had seen do amazing things when he fought, and creative things when he cooked, touched me as though I were something to be treasured and cherished. The thought nearly brought me to tears again and I attacked Goten with a vengeance, stroking and fondling everywhere as though I couldn't get enough of him. Like I could banish all thought and feeling in his body, in the pleasure we brought each other…and who knows? Maybe I thought I could.

"God Marron…" Goten groaned, when I at last shifted to guide his penetration. I sank onto him slowly, reveling in the feel of this final joining. Arching my back, I tipped my head back and closed my eyes, leaning back on the hands I had propped on Goten's heavily muscled thighs. With my eyes closed there was only the feel of him, under me, inside me. His hands rested on my waist and caressed my hips as I slowly began to move on him, my body stretching to accommodate him as it did every time. He was ruining me for other men I knew, having had his big beautiful body all to myself for so long. I was spoiled. No one would ever compare to him. Not even Trunks.

I dropped my head forward, letting my hair cover my face as I moved on him faster, digging my fingers into the ridged muscles of his abdomen as I pleasured my body with his. I cracked my eyes open, watching him from behind the fall of my hair. His face was vaguely smeared with joy and his black eyes were locked on my face, not on my bouncing breasts or flexing hips as he watched me ride him. His eyes held mine and didn't let them go; telling me silently that he would be whatever I needed, whatever I wanted. I didn't deserve him.

I started to lower my head even more, like I would lean forward to kiss him and hide my innermost self from his magnetic gaze, but he stopped me. Caressing my breasts as he engulfed them in his hands. "Don't hide your face from me, Marron. I love watching you like this…you're so beautiful when you come." He breathed. I flushed scarlet at his words, my mouth dropping open. Goten's hands slid down my body from my breasts to my hips, his thumbs reaching to the center of my cleft to rub the neglected little kernel of pleasure I was grinding into his pubic bone. Unconsciously I tossed my head back, flipping my hair out of my face as I rode him desperately, chasing that elusive pinnacle and gaining. The pressure grew in me, building and building until I wanted to scream from it, my body tightening and releasing on his rhythmically as I flexed and bounced. No longer caring if he was looking at my face, no longer caring about anything as my hips strained against his, skin slapping as he raised up to meet me, his thumbs working furiously against my swollen nub. And then just as suddenly the tension broke and I came in a rush, an uncharacteristically long loud shriek tearing itself from my throat, I was usually never this noisy. My whole body stiffened against his and then I collapsed on his perfect chest, panting.

Goten stroked my back gently as I recovered, my body still clenching his with aftershocks. He pushed my sweaty hair off my forehead and tipped my face up for his kiss. Brushing his lips over mine teasingly as he purred, making them tingle. "Mmmm…I could watch you do that all day long." He told me, holding my head still in his hands as he leisurely traced my lips with his tongue then nibbled on them. His body was still taut with need and he held me to him tightly as he deepened our kiss, mimicking with his tongue what he needed for release. I opened myself to him, relaxing and melting into his desire…for I could be whatever he wanted and needed too.

With a groan Goten rolled us again on the bed so that I was on my back beneath him, my legs raised and clutching his waist. He stared down into my face as he began thrusting into me, his eyes glittering with lust as he stroked deep. "This will always be my favorite, " he panted, "having you flat on your back and spread underneath me." I smiled at him.

"Is that a male control thing?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light even as I was breathing as heavily as he was. His crooked grin seemed almost dangerous in the low light of the room.

"No way," he gasped, "that's an I love to be able to take you however I want thing. And I do love taking you." My whole body tingled at his sexy voice and I ran my hands down his back to his buttocks, gripping them and trying to pull him farther into me. In a sudden motion Goten pushed my legs up to my chest so that his thrusts had his whole weight behind them. I tried to grasp his upper arms for leverage, but they were too thick with muscle for me to get a good grip. The whole world narrowed down to gasping for air between my moans of pleasure as Goten took me, harder and faster than he had in a long time. My whole being tuned to his weight, his breathing, the plunge and slide of his thick shaft inside me. It was what I was made for.

He was ruthless in his drive, pistoning against me like a machine, he took everything I had to give, but he was generous too, pouring a current of sexual energy into me so strong I was dazed from it. I lost myself again and again, only to come back and find myself jerking and yelling beneath him with orgasm after orgasm. Then he rolled off of me to come at me a different way, reaching under my body to caress my breasts as he grunted. "Arch your back for me, I want to give you as much of me as you can take."

I groaned and obeyed as things in low places responded to the carnal demand in his voice. I could feel myself get wetter as he slid even deeper into me, pressing against the mouth of my womb. His hands splayed on my hips as he held me still, keeping me from rocking back against him and quenching that insatiable itch inside me. Slowly he withdrew all the way to rub the head of his cock up the length of my cleft from clit to ass. He circled the head around my opening, spreading my wetness there too. It had been a long time since he had taken me in this fashion, the last time being when I'd had both he and Trunks inside me at once. I looked back over my shoulder at him as he gazed down at me thoughtfully. I wondered if he was thinking of Trunks when he pondered having anal sex with me.

Goten's eyes lifted to mine as I held still and waited to see what he would do. I said nothing to break the spell we were both under, the energy still jumping between us. With a slow grin he guided himself back to my wet and waiting sheath, pushing slowly back in until he bumped my cervix lightly. I closed my eyes briefly at the sensation. He flexed his hips, pushing even harder against my womb. Some women find that uncomfortable, luckily I wasn't one.

"Like that?" he demanded.

I heaved back against him with an impatient gasp, oddly relieved that he'd decided to continue the way he'd started. "Yes."

"You want more? How do you want it? Harder?"

I shuddered, a lost slave to the power of his sexual magnetism. I'd crawl across cut glass for him at that moment if he asked me. It's kind of scary to lose yourself that way, but I trusted Goten like no one else in the world. I arched my back more and his fingers dug into my bottom. "Harder." I whispered.

"Harder?" He taunted.

I nodded, opening and reaching for him with every part of myself. "Yes." I demanded emphatically. "Harder. Now, Goten…please."

He thrust deep, his body slapping against my backside and jerking a sharp cry out of my throat. "Like that?"

"Oh God, yes." I gasped, seeking his rhythm and lifting myself up to meet him. Every thrust of his body into mine leaving me more soft and wet and wanting.

"Look, Marron." He said, his hand on the back of my head turning me so I could see us in the mirror over the dresser. "Look how your breasts bounce every time I put it to you hard, like…this." He punctuated with a hard thrust. "You are the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."

I stared at the stranger in the mirror, not recognizing myself. My hair hung over my face, my breasts dangled and swayed, my legs were opened wide and my bottom high. And Goten behind me, more perfect than a god, his muscular body driving into mine, gleaming with sweat.

He was so incredibly sexy, so strong; his big hands dark against my white flanks, the tendons defined in his throat. He watched us in the mirror with a look of fascination, his hands sliding up to cup my breasts. I watched us astonished, my face rosy, wanton. As I watched, Goten reached around and pulled me up against him, my head thrown back against his shoulder and my back arched like a bow. With slow, controlled strength his hips pulsed and ground into mine. He fisted one hand in my hair, tilting my head to the side to graze his teeth over my neck, his other hand making its way between my legs to coax and caress another explosion out of me.

"Keeping count?" He purred at me, still grinding into my overly sensitized flesh. I could only hang weakly in his embrace and shake my head, too boneless and sapped to move or protest. When I could form a coherent thought, Goten had pushed me back down onto my hands again, his gripping my hips. Automatically I arched back and worked myself against him; trying to bring him to the same pinnacle he'd brought me to…what? Four times already? Five?

"Watch us, Marron." He urged, moving in me faster. As I did the fierce desire began to spiral up again, lending me the energy to give him what he needed and I did until he let himself come, his body curving over mine, supporting it as he let himself go, his hips pumping furiously. His sexual energy blasting through me like a furnace, lighting me up inside like a torch.

He pulled me on my side with him; still cradling me to his chest as he rained soft pleading kisses on my neck, my shoulders. Stroking my hair and murmuring to me in a soothing croon. It was only then I realized I was crying again.

"Don't cry…I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Was it too much?" Goten whispered. I wiped my eyes on the back of my hand. It was never too much with him; a lifetime of this would never be too much. It was the thought of going the rest of my life and never feeling this alive again that made me cry. At that moment I wished fiercely that I wasn't on the Pill, that I could have a part of Goten with me always. A way to keep him in my life when Trunks took him away, then just as quickly the irrational thought faded. It was a good thing. Life didn't need to be more complicated.

"I'm fine." I murmured back. Goten squeezed me in a hug, his arms crossed over my chest as he held me, his body disengaging from mine.

"Good," he purred, burying his nose in my hair as he liked to do whenever he held me after sex. I've never known a man who liked to cuddle more than Goten. He's very tactile, always touching me. Whether holding my hand, or putting his arm around me when we went out, or touching my hair or face whenever he passed me at home. I was never lacking for physical affection from Goten. "I love you so much, Marron." He told me softly.

My heart clenched, and I felt those damned tears behind my eyes again. Oh but for how much longer, I wondered. "I love you too, Goten." I whispered.

Goten half rolled on his back, still holding me against him as his hands roamed and explored my body lazily. Not to excite me, just petting me. "That was incredible, so totally intense. It hasn't been like that between us before." He murmured between kisses to my temple. I turned my head more toward him, letting him press more soft moist kisses to my forehead, my eyebrows. How right he was, sex between us had always been great, but never that raw or emotionally intense. I guess all it took was the thought of losing him.

"We're usually tired…" I offered lamely.

"Hmmmm…" Goten didn't sound convinced, and I was hoping he would let it go. He leaned on his elbow beside me looking down into my face. Always touching me as he traced my features with a fingertip. His eyes held a certain thoughtfulness that disturbed me so I blurted out the first thing I could think of to change the subject.

"Do you ever miss being with a guy?"

Goten blinked at me a moment. "Define being." He asked dryly, I blushed.

"You know…do you ever miss…having sex with a man?" I managed to get out. Goten looked at me for a long minute while he mulled it over, the hand he wasn't using to prop his head on lazily circling my nipple, I wondered if he even knew he was doing it.

"I miss Trunks." He answered finally.

I felt like a huge maw had opened up to swallow me whole. Sweet Kami-sama, Trunks was right! Me and my big mouth. I felt like I had been broad sided by a barn. My face must have reflected my thoughts because Goten was quick to pull me closer into his embrace again, raining small kisses on my face.

"I'm not gay, Marron. I'm not attracted to men in general. Trunks was the only man I've ever been with." Somehow his words weren't making me feel better. I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

"Do you ever…wish that it was…?" I whispered. Goten leaned down and kissed me softly, silencing me.

"Trunks here instead of you?" he finished for me. "I don't know. We haven't talked about him in a long time, Marron." I shrugged and looked away, but Goten took my chin in his fingers, turning my face back to his. "Let me alleviate your fears. Trunks isn't here, it's you and me now. And we have a pretty good life without him. We're happy. I don't know if I would feel the same if it were Trunks here in my arms instead of you, Marron. But there are certain things I want in life, that Trunks can't give me." Goten told me solemnly.

"Like?" I questioned. Goten looked down on me silently with his ebony eyes. So deep, like drowning pools.

"Loyalty, tenderness, comfort…children." I hissed in my breath and held perfectly still.

"Children?"

He smiled slowly, his eyelids lowering to let his thick dark eyelashes brush his cheeks. "Yeah," he murmured, "I've always wanted a family someday. I'm not getting younger; Gohan had a six year old when he was my age. But I do want to settle down and have kids…one of these days."

"I never knew that about you Goten." I told him. Did that mean I had a chance? Did I dare let myself hope that I might? Goten lowered his dark head to my breasts, where he busied himself licking and nuzzling at my sensitive flesh. I recognized these caresses of his, these were deliberately trying to evoke a response from me. One he didn't have to wait long for before I was arching my back to offer my breasts, or anything else he wanted to his clever tongue and expertly applied suction.

As much as I wanted to lose myself in him all over again, to sink into the deep and never resurface, I also had no desire to have Trunks show up in the middle of the act either. Gently I pried Goten's head away from my chest.

"Goten…stop." I gasped, as he moved on top of me, trying to nudge my legs apart with his knee.

"Why?" He purred, his lips finding every ticklish and tender place on my neck and shoulders, making my nipples tighten painfully. I couldn't bring myself to tell him it was because Trunks was coming. So I went with an excuse I knew he'd accept.

"I'm starving." I told him. That got his attention and he pulled back his head from mine. He rolled off me and got up.

"I'll go make us something quick." He told me, striding for the bedroom door still fully nude. I scrambled up after him.

"Aren't you going to put something on?" I asked breathlessly. Goten caught me around the waist and swung me around and up against him, lifting me off the floor as he kept heading across the room.

"Nuh uh," he purred with a mischievous grin, "I'm gonna need you again soon." He told me, pressing the proof against me as he moved. We got to the bedroom door and I managed to get a hand out behind me and push it closed, this didn't stop Goten however as he propped me against the closed door, moving between my legs. "Mmmm…this has possibilities." He hummed grinning, lifting my legs to clasp his hips.

I threw a panicked glance over his shoulder at the clock on the nightstand. 8:10 p.m. Trunks probably wouldn't be there until nine at the earliest, since he said he would be by late. It was like waiting for the hammer to fall. And I should have pushed Goten away and gotten dressed, but he was nudging at my entrance again with that thick, hard cock I couldn't seem to ever get enough of. I was still wet and soft from the last time and Goten slid into me with one long smooth motion. I let my head fall back against the door with a small thunk. Any thoughts of Trunks' arrival, getting dressed or food were banished as Goten took me against the door.

His hands under my bottom supported me as he thrust into me quickly, kissing my neck, my cheeks and finally my lips. The heat between us was intense and immediate as we clutched at each other, stroking and caressing wildly. He grabbed my wrists and pinned them against the door on either side of my head, and leaned on them. My legs around his hips and the force of his thrusts kept me sandwiched between him and the door. His face was in mine, his breath hot on my face as he made noises that were somewhere between a grunt and a growl.

His feral dominance excited me as he held me immobile. His eyes devoured me, and in his eyes I drowned as our bodies rocked against each other in perfect unison. Like waves breaking against a rocky shore we crashed over and over until we were sweat soaked and spent, leaning against our own bedroom door.

"Damn…" Goten panted, letting go of my wrists to wrap his arms around me and hold me to him while I got my cramped legs to unbend and support me. I felt like a newborn giraffe as I wobbled on rubbery knees, hanging on to Goten.

"You're going to make me bow-legged." I joked weakly. Now that our intimacy was over I was feeling fragile again, it seemed only our passion could banish the heavy cloak of dread that fell over me the later it got. Reluctantly, I pulled away from him and put on the clothes I'd gotten out earlier, worn jeans and an old sweatshirt. I didn't bother with a bra or panties.

Woodenly, I left Goten in the bedroom and padded barefoot into the dark kitchen, flicking on the overhead light. I half expected to see Trunks leaning on the counter waiting for me, like some kind of evil spectre. But only the blinding cleanliness of Goten's domain greeted me. I pulled out the teakettle to fill and started water boiling before I measured out and filled the rice cooker, the two jobs Goten let me perform in his kingdom.

Goten swaggered into the kitchen damp and fresh from the shower just as the tea was finished and I was blowing into my cup to cool it. He'd followed my lead and put on a pair of jeans at least, even though he hadn't bothered to button them, drawing my gaze to his body like a magnet. He was hypnotic. He moved past me to the refrigerator in a swirl of soapy scented maleness. After pulling some stuff from the fridge to cook, Goten turned his attention back to me, propping his hands on the counter on either side before leaning in to kiss me. He'd left his long hair loose and it was already almost dry…damn freaky Saiyan hair, I thought jealously.

"You should have come and taken a shower with me, hot water felt wonderful." He murmured against my lips.

"Well we both know what would have happened in the shower, don't we?" I teased him half-heartedly, a wan smile on my lips. Goten grinned at me, taking my teacup and polishing off my tea in one big gulp before he set the cup aside.

"Hmmmm…" he pondered, like he was really giving it some thought. "I'd have hogged the water?" He joked back. I couldn't help but smile at him. God, I loved him so much it hurt.

"Right in one." I said, thankful that my voice didn't crack. Goten leaned his body against mine, pinning me to the kitchen counter as he hugged me tightly.

"That's okay," he whispered in my hair, "I can wait until after we've eaten to fuck you again. I'm not a complete sex fiend." He told me with a little laugh. I wrapped my arms around him too, hanging on to him and pressing my nose against the damp bare skin of his chest. Fear and dread and guilt were piling on me like a landslide. Should I tell Goten about Trunks and what he wanted? Sweet Dende-sama, tell me what I should do? I prayed silently, rocked in Goten's strong arms, but Earth's guardian stayed silent. See if I ever send him a Christmas card again.

I don't know how I knew, but my whole body tensed against Goten's a split second before our doorbell rang. "Who could that be?" Goten mumbled into my hair. He started to pull away from me and I panicked, clinging to him like a burr.

"No. Don't answer it." I whispered, squeezing him harder. Please no…don't let this end. Goten disengaged from my embrace gently, a puzzled smile on his face.

"Silly, our cars are in the driveway. It's obvious we're home." He told me, stepping back and buttoning his jeans. He turned toward the doorway of the kitchen and I leapt into motion as if I'd been hit by lightning.

"I'll get it!" I yelled, pushing past Goten and all but running for the door. It might not be Trunks out there at all; it was two days before Christmas after all. It could be Bra dropping by to have a cup of tea and complain about her latest boyfriend like she often did while Goten and I nodded in sympathy. Or my folks, stopping by to drop off Christmas presents. Sure, that must be it, even though I knew my folks would never just drop by without calling first. So it must be Bra then…please Dende, let it be Bra, I prayed as I approached our front door like it was the enemy.

But it was the wrong Briefs who darkened our doorstep when I finally worked up the courage to open the door. Trunks stood there in all his gorgeous splendor. He'd changed clothes from earlier, now he was dressed to kill in costly black tailored clothes that hugged his muscular body. Showing him off to perfection and I could smell his expensive cologne mingling with the flowers he held in his arms. He looked like a male fashion model; too perfect to be real, and in comparison there I stood with hair snarled from thrashing around having sex, unshowered, and in ratty old clothes.

"Bastard," I hissed viciously, "you aren't playing fair." I told him. Trunks gave me that smirk of his as he stepped into our house, as if my scorn had been an invitation. He leaned down toward me.

"All's fair in love and war, remember?" He gloated. I got a small modicum of revenge when I saw him take a delicate sniff of me and then frown. I smelled like Goten and sex, I could smell it on myself and it gave me a perverse pleasure to know Trunks didn't like it a bit. "Get your goodbye fuck in, Marron?" Trunks asked with exaggerated sweetness, telling me it was to be open war between us. The prize? Goten's affection.

I was about to give him an appropriately scathing comeback when we heard a gasp from behind us. Trunks and I turned as one toward the kitchen door to see Goten standing there. His face was a mixture of shock, surprise - and the knife in my heart - love, as he stared at Trunks.

"Trunks…" Goten whispered, like he couldn't believe his eyes. Trunks turned away from me and held his arms out to the sides, nearly bashing me in the face with the roses he carried as he opened his arms to Goten.

"I'm back, Chibi." He told him. Goten hesitated a moment that made my heart soar to the heavens. I was wishing for Goten to tell Trunks to get out, that he had left us when we needed him most, now we didn't need him at all. I was about to snap at Trunks that Goten didn't like being called Chibi, when Goten broke his paralysis and rushed forward into Trunks' arms, sending my heart on it's sickening earthward plunge. A little part of me died to see Goten so readily embrace Trunks, and I felt like I was walking into quicksand country.

"Don't call me Chibi." I heard Goten say in a choked voice as he held Trunks to him. They stayed like that a long time, locked in each other's embrace, long enough to make me feel forgotten. I shifted and cleared my throat, which made Goten pull away from Trunks, swiping his eyes on the back of his hand. "Sorry about that. Marron hasn't had her turn to say hello yet."

Nothing in the world was going to make me step into Trunks' poisonous arms, and he knew it because he smiled at me gallantly and handed me the bouquet of roses. "For you my lady." He said smoothly, and I snatched them out of his hands. Trying not to let my face betray me. "Marron and I have already had our hellos earlier today." He told Goten, and my face flushed hot. Traitorous bastard…I wanted to rake his face with my nails. And to think I had loved him once. Goten turned confused and hurt eyes my way.

"What? You saw Trunks earlier? Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

Trunks stepped in smoothly again before I could answer. "I asked her not to, I wanted it to be a surprise."

Goten frowned a little, but accepted the explanation. Remembering his manners he invited Trunks to the living room, leaving me with the bouquet of roses to deal with. I took my time in the kitchen, putting the flowers in water. For a split second I debated getting a bottle of wine, but memories flooded over me of the day when I had been the hurt one, coming to my friends after their betrayal and that shared bottle of wine. Oh if only I had stayed away that long ago day, but it was a silly wish. To avoid this pain now I would've had to have given up so many years of happiness, before Trunks left, and the bliss of being with Goten. I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer and I joined them in the living room.

Goten sat on the end of the couch nearest the kitchen, Trunks on the opposite end. Leaving me to either sit between them or sit in one of the two chairs that faced them across the coffee table. Uncertainly I moved past the couch toward the chair, but Goten caught my hand as I went by and pulled me down to sit beside him, tucking me close to his side and holding my hand. Trunks' eyes glittered at me as he saw how Goten put me between them.

The silence between us was awkward, making me wonder what I had missed when I was in the kitchen. Trunks watched us from his end of the couch, his blue eyes taking in everything. Goten had his other arm across the back of the couch and he played with a strand of my hair idly, like he needed something to fiddle with.

"Would anyone like tea, or anything else to drink?" I asked, desperate for some action to break the silence.

"Tea would be fine, thank you Marron." Trunks told me in that same smooth voice. I got up to go into the kitchen and Goten hung onto my hand until the last second, like he didn't want me to go. I gave it a reassuring squeeze and he finally released me.

I started a new pot of tea and debated what to do next, wait in the kitchen for it to be done? I moved closer to the doorway thinking I would rejoin them in the living room when I heard my name.

"-Had coffee with Marron this afternoon. I explained to her why I left and why I came back. I had hoped that she would tell you. It would make this less awkward." Trunks said. I paused just on the other side of the doorway, waiting to see what else Trunks would say.

"Why don't you tell me yourself Trunks? The real truth." Goten said, his voice stiff. I held my breath, curious as to what Trunks would tell him.

"Chibi…" Trunks started, and I heard movement. Was Trunks sliding closer to him? "I don't want to bring this all up again. You know why I left, but I came back because you were right. We belong together, we always have. I was a selfish asshole to leave, I know that, but I just got to where I couldn't stand that we were never alone anymore. She was always there."

"Don't Trunks. That isn't fair. We both decided to share our relationship with her. I was happy with the way things were. Having both of you in my life and in my bed. You were the one who couldn't handle it. Why didn't you just talk to me about it? Why did you have to just up and leave?" Goten told him. My heart was beating like a cornered rabbit's. I felt awful eavesdropping, so I made a little noise getting the teacups down and filling the little metal tea ball with more loose leaves. All the while trying to convince myself I wasn't hearing what I was hearing…that I had been the cause of everything. And I hadn't even known.

"Because I didn't want to hurt her again after what we'd done to her the first time. Because despite what she thinks about me now I'm not a complete heartless bastard."

"What do you mean, 'despite what she thinks about me now'? What did you say to her Trunks?" Goten asked suspiciously. I was all ears in the kitchen as I poured the water from the kettle into the teapot to steep. Preparing the tray I would take in to them.

"I told her I wanted things to be the way they were between us before she came. I told her I wanted you back." Trunks sighed.

"Damnit Trunks!" Goten hissed. "You have absolutely no tact! What's the matter with you?"

I heard soft movement again, and I really had to crane my ears to hear Trunks' soft voice now. "I love you Goten, I've always loved you and I always will. I didn't know that you and Marron would have stayed together after I left. When she told me…I just lost my mind. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to Marron." Goten said in that same tight voice.

"Chibi," Trunks cajoled in a low voice, "Didn't you miss me? Don't you love me anymore?" I held my breath, waiting.

"Of course I do, Trunks. But things are different now." I barely heard Goten's response his voice was so low. I heard Trunks murmur that they didn't have to be. There was silence after that and I took it as my cue to rejoin them. I was unprepared however to see that Trunks had moved to Goten's end of the couch and had him in his embrace. Cradling Goten's face between his palms as he kissed him passionately.

My hands gripped the tea tray until my knuckles were white, my heart turning to a cinder to hear the low growl of yearning come from Goten's throat as he wrapped his arms around Trunks and hold him tight to his bare chest. It hurt, oh god it hurt every bit as much as it had the first time when I'd caught them making love all those years ago. My hands were shaking, making the china rattle on the tray and the two of them finally acknowledged my presence.

Goten's face flushed with guilt and his eyes went no higher than my waist as he pulled away. Trunks on the other hand met my glare confidently. "Don't let me interrupt," I snapped nastily, "or would you rather I left?" I hurt, and I wanted to make them hurt.

"Would you mind?" Trunks asked sweetly. Poison sweet, that was Trunks.

"Trunks knock it off." Goten mumbled as I all but slammed the tea service down on the coffee table, and stalked down the hall toward the bedroom. I was angry, so angry I wanted to scream at the world. But underneath it I was afraid and that's what made me lash out at Goten when he followed me down the hall and into the bedroom, propelling me in the door as I struggled against him and he tossed me toward the bed, slamming the door behind him. I scrambled up and stood on the opposite side from him. Hands fisted at my side as I bared my teeth at him, breathing heavy.

"What the hell is your problem, Marron?" Goten snapped back at me.

"You kissed him!" I hissed. Goten's black eyes narrowed at me.

"And you didn't?" He scoffed. I looked away. "What's the big deal? I know he's being an ass, but that's no reason to act like a four year old." Goten said reasonably.

"I heard what he said, Goten. That I'm the reason he left, that he came back for you." I said bitterly. Goten raked a hand through his hair and looked almost guilty.

"He didn't say that, you must have heard incorrectly." Goten moved around the bed to me, putting his hands on my shoulders and running them down my arms in a gentling caress. "Now come back out with me, smile and be a good hostess. We haven't seen him in two years, let's hear what he has to say." Goten said soothingly.

I'd already heard what Trunks had to say; I really didn't need to hear any more. But Goten's dark eyes were pleading with me like a puppy's and I let him lead me back to the living room where the bane of my existence sat calmly sipping a cup of tea. Goten tried to pull me with him to the couch to sit, but I stubbornly pulled away and sat in the chair across from them, the image of their passionate kiss still burned in my mind.

"Get everything all squared away now?" Trunks asked. I hated how calm and condescending he sounded. It made me feel and act like an irrational shrew in comparison.

"Stop playing games, Trunks. And dancing around the issue, it's time to lay it all out on the table. You can't just come back after two years and expect to pick up like you never left. Now what are you really here for?" Goten asked Trunks.

I met Trunks' eyes and knew the truth. Yes, he did expect to waltz back in and have everything the way he wanted it. The same way he'd gotten his way all his life. His eyes told me that he had been as brutally honest with me this afternoon at the café as he'd ever been with me about anything. He wanted my Goten, and by god meant to have him again.

"Chibi," He said gently, his eyes never leaving my face. "I think we should talk about this privately. There are certain…things we still need to resolve without her around." I flushed hot as though I had been slapped in the face. Goten scowled too in Trunks' direction.

"Marron and I don't have secrets. Whatever you need to say to me you can say in front of Marron." Goten said staunchly. What a roller coaster I was on! I was down, and then at Goten's expression of loyalty I was flying high once again. I could only wait for the next inevitable sickening plunge.

Trunks' eyes moved from mine to Goten's, a slight flicker of surprise registering on his handsome face. "Really? Even things of a more…business nature?" Trunks asked archly. Goten's entire body froze, his face hardening into tight almost angry lines. "I didn't think so." Trunks said silkily.

I was confused and I looked between the two of them helplessly as their eyes locked in a silent battle of wills. "What's going on?" I asked. "What do you mean 'business nature'?"

Goten stood in a fluid graceful movement, Trunks following suit less than a heartbeat after. I craned my neck up to look at them as they faced each other. Goten looked tense enough to attack; I could see it in the way his powerful muscles bunched, like he was holding back a tremendous amount of energy. Trunks on the other hand stood calmly in his expensive clothes, one hand clasping the other wrist as he held them in front of his body. Like he didn't see Goten as a threat. It was to be dominance and submission with them again, as always, endlessly…

"Marron…" Goten said in a low, careful voice. "I do need to speak to Trunks privately. Will you please excuse us? We'll be right back."

I could only watch helplessly, my protest stuck in my throat, as Trunks and Goten turned and headed toward the bedroom, not even glancing my way.

I heard the bedroom door down the hall shut with a thud of finality, leaving me alone…and forgotten. What do you do when you wait for your world to end? I slumped into the soft chair in disbelief. Where would I go if Goten chose Trunks? What would I do? How would I go on without the best of me? I wished I could be as certain Goten saw me as the love of his life as I saw him, but my eyes were filled with every loving look between them I had ever been privy to. Every tear Goten had shed in my arms over the loss of Trunks was a stone in my heart now. Goten loved him, he loved Goten…and I would have to surrender all the joy in my life. Unfair…unfair…

I don't know how long I sat there staring at the wall, the teakettle, the floor… I chewed my cuticles to bleeding on two fingers, a habit I'd outgrown along with training wheels. My stomach was a churning acidic pit and my eyes burned like I had been chopping onions. Unable to stand it any longer I got up and drifted down the hall to the closed door. The bathroom, I had to use the bathroom since I felt like I wanted to void my nearly empty stomach. As I passed by the closed bedroom door I heard low murmuring voices, but not what they said. I moved past to the shared bathroom and saw that the door from the bathroom to the bedroom wasn't completely shut.

Oh King Enma was going to send me straight to the HFIL for eavesdropping, but I'd spend eternity in the company of Cell and Juunana-ojisan to know what was going on. I moved closer to the door, just listening at first.

"-It's not a tie, Chibi. I wanted to help, it doesn't have to be like this." I heard Trunks murmur. His breathing came deep and slow, countering the quicker breath of Goten.

"Yes it does. Whatever happens Trunks I don't want to owe you anymore…for anything." Goten told him.

"But you do, Chibi…you do. For so many things I've lost count. How many times have I saved you in your life? How many times have I been there? No one loves you like I do…no one can. Not even her. You even owe me for that, you would never have had her if not for me." Trunks said gently.

"But Trunks…" Goten groaned, making the hair on my arms and back of my neck stand on end. What were they doing?

"Don't you see, Chibi? I'd forget it all…just to have you back again. Can't we go back to the way it was?" Trunks pleaded softly. Curiosity propelling me I moved to the crack of the door and looked, already pretty sure of what I would see.

Goten leaned against the dresser across the room, his head tipped back and eyes closed, his long hair falling behind him like a shadow. And Trunks, Trunks' lips made a provocative trail as I watched from Goten's throat down over his chest. Trunks' fingers moved from his abdomen to his lean hips and I would have had to be blind not to see the large bulge in the front of Goten's jeans.

"I love you, Chibi…" Trunks whispered, and I saw Goten tip his head down to look into his eyes, his fingers twisting in Trunks silky lavender locks. I wanted to scream that Goten didn't like being called Chibi…but I was drowning, dying where I stood to see so much love, so much conflict on my beloved's face. And I remembered what Trunks had said earlier, that I could spare Goten this pain. And I silently withdrew as stealthily as I'd approached.

Swiftly I ran down the hall on bare feet, fleeing as though I had the very hounds of hell at my heels. At the hall closet I paused, throwing on my jacket. I had no time to pack, but I grabbed my gym bag as an afterthought. At least I had a pair of clean underwear and toiletries in it. With shoes and my purse I was ready to go. I turned and looked back longingly at my home. Fighting every instinct that called me a coward, a fool for not fighting for what was mine, I stepped out into the chilly December air and softly shut the front door behind me.

Every step away from the house was like moving through mud as I slowly made my way to my car. Some tiny part of me still hoping that Goten would come after me, tell me that I was the one he wanted - the only one he'd ever love. But no one stopped me as I got into my car, started it and drove away.

****

11:00 pm.

I'd driven aimlessly for at least an hour, paying no attention to where I was going, like I was on autopilot. I responded to the stimulus of traffic lights and other cars on the road, but I couldn't remember it a second after it happened. I was numb, temporarily anesthetized and I knew I had to get somewhere before the blessed cloak slipped from me to leave me hurting and raw.

I tried to think of the places I could go, like home to Kame House, but I couldn't face my father who had never understood the relationship I'd shared with Trunks and Goten. I couldn't stand to go home and prove that he had been right all along. That trying to go against the norm would someday end in heartache. I tried to think of the names of any friends I had that I could beg a stay on their couch with, but it occurred to me that I didn't have any friends that were my own. All of my friends had ties to Trunks and Goten as well, the exception being Uncle Yamucha, but he lived a good seven hours away.

The enormity of what had happened and what I had done weighed on me like a stone on my chest, and I took the road that lead up into the hills that surrounded Satan City without even thinking about it. There was a scenic overlook about halfway up the mountain, a place with picnic tables and a public restroom. It wasn't the best place to be at night, inhabited mostly by teenagers looking for a place to be alone and park. But I thought I could maybe get a few hours sleep in my car and clear my head. Then I could decide what to do. It never occurred to me to check into a hotel, I don't know why.

Turning off the ignition I sat in my dark car, looking down on the city and the twinkling lights that had been my home. With the motor off the car cooled down quickly and I slumped down in the seat, huddling in my too light jacket and sweatshirt. My mind was filled with thoughts of the past, conflicting and nearly drowning me with their poignancy. I didn't want to take out these shining memories, each one like a perfect crystal bead: like the day the three of us had begun our unconventional relationship, or our first Valentine's Day when the three of us fed each other chocolate and champagne until we were gooey and giggling. The trip to the Papaya Islands that had ended with - I had assumed - them embracing me finally as an equal partner in the relationship as I accepted them both into my body at once.

And to hear Trunks tell it had all been based on pity. I refused to believe that. We'd had something rare and wonderful once, the three of us. Something that could only happen once in a lifetime, and then only to a lucky few. But we should have known it could never last. Even more extraordinary was the perfect love Goten and I had built from the ashes of that great failed experiment. But how perfect could I call it when it was so easily forgotten with Trunks' return? Tears poured down my face and my nose ran as I huddled in frozen misery in the front seat. I closed my eyes against even more painful memories of Goten and I. God, I didn't want to think about this anymore! I pulled my legs up and curled into the smallest ball possible in the cramped seat. Sobs shook my body as I finally gave into the overwhelming grief that had been threatening ever since Trunks told me he wanted Goten back. I cried for Goten, I cried for Trunks, but I mostly cried for myself…alone again, until at long last despite the cold, blessed sleep rocked me in its embrace.

I woke with a start some time later. I looked around wildly trying to remember where I was, and what I was doing. And then I did…in all too painful detail. I poked my head up above the edge of the door to look out the window. The parking area was abandoned now; mine was the only car left, all the teenagers had gone. The park lights were off, leaving deep black shadows. The only light was from a single bare bulb above the door of the public restroom. I was uneasy, wondering what had woken me up. Stealthily, I depressed the button that would lock the car doors, feeling a little better then. I peered blindly into the dark, trying in vain to discern any movement toward the trees or road. Never thinking that a threat would be right in front of me.

As I turned to look out the passenger side window I started to see the silhouette of a man standing directly in front of my car. The shape of his body was backlit against the city lights and stars. And I gave a short scream of surprise and fright. I didn't like being caught off guard, and I was disoriented from sleep. Visions of being raped and murdered (or worse!) filled my mind as I fumbled for my keys. The man approached my car quickly, moving around toward my side and I panicked, shrieking in alarm. Why, oh why hadn't my parents taught me martial arts? Why had they left me to be simply another weak human female whose only strength was that she could do due diligence with her eyes closed?

The man tried the handle of the car door, thank Dende I had locked it. I was so scared, my imagination running away with me that I was screaming like a fire bell at this point, my eyes closed and my hands over my ears. There was a pounding; the man was knocking on the window and shouting at me, but I couldn't hear him in my terror. I curled on the seat, trying to disappear, wanting HIM to disappear when suddenly the door of my car was wrenched open.

Still screaming I tried to scramble over the center console of the car toward the other door. Hands grasped me by the waist, pulling me back and I kicked out wildly. They weren't getting me without a fight! I heard an oof and the hands fell away. I managed to get the passenger door open and I started running, back toward the road on cramped legs. My throat was hoarse from shrieking and my ears rang from hearing my own screams in such close quarters. I wanted to look back and see if I was being pursued, but I had watched too many scary movies with Goten and his niece to know that's the quickest way to end up falling flat on your face and getting caught. Lot of good that logic did me as the thought no more than crossed my mind and it happened. I tripped on a crack in the asphalt and went down.

Strong arms grabbed me from behind as I was getting up, picking me up off the ground and holding me still. I fought like a wildcat, determined that whatever this Sicko had in mind for me I wasn't going to make easy for him.

"Let me go!" I shrieked, kicking and struggling furiously.

"Goddamn it, Marron! It's ME! Goten! Stop fighting me!" Goten said, and slowly his words sunk in, stilling my struggles.

Goten! He'd come for me! I sagged against him in relief as he held me tightly. He set me on my feet, still keeping me close. My relief that he was my attacker gave over to anger that he'd scared the life out of me in the first place and I yanked away from him. Whirling to face him.

"You scared the crap out of me Goten! What's the big idea?" I yelled at him. He stood before me in jeans and a loose baggy sweater. My eyes had adjusted to the dim light and I could see now that he was frowning at me.

"Scared the crap out of you?" He yelled back. "I have been looking everywhere for you all night! And you were up here where any lunatic could just walk right up to your car?"

"The only lunatic who tried to attack me was YOU!" I bellowed at him. "You ripped my car door off!" Stress was making my body shake like a high-tension wire. I felt like I'd drank ten pots of coffee…it would take me weeks to calm down from the emotional roller coaster of today.

"Because you were screaming! You weren't responding to me, I thought something was wrong with you." Goten shouted back at me. Why was he yelling at me? I was the wronged one here. I fisted my hands at my sides and threw my head back, screaming out my rage and pain to the star filled sky in an inarticulate howl.

"Of course there's something wrong with me you idiot! You woke me up! You scared me! And you FUCKED TRUNKS!" I screamed the last at him so loudly my throat felt raw. Baring my teeth I flung myself at him, pounding weak ineffectual fists against his chest. It was like punching a brick wall. I mean…he and Trunks were half Saiyajin; they used to kick the crap out of each other on a regular basis when we were together. And I knew Goten still sparred with his brother regularly…like I was going to do any damage to him.

Goten stood still under my assault as I took out my aggression on his body violently. I drew back my hand to slap his face and Goten caught my wrist, his eyes glittering at me in the starlight. "Stop hitting me." He said in a low growl. Breathing heavily I snarled in his face as I tried to get my arm free. Goten didn't let go and it made me angrier. I screeched loudly in frustration, tugging futilely on my arm locked in his grasp.

In an unexpected motion Goten yanked me up against him, shocking the breath from my lungs as his lips came down on mine…hard! I was only caught off guard for a moment before I renewed my struggles. Love of my life or not there was no way I was going to let him have me straight from Trunks' arms. I had precious little pride left at this point and I was going to fight to keep the last shreds of it. I bit him and he shoved me away from him. His glittering eyes narrowed and accusing as he wiped the blood from his lip.

"What the fuck was that for?" He snapped. I gaped…he had to ask?

"Don't you DARE kiss me, Son Goten!" I cried. "Not after what you did!" Goten's eyes narrowed even further and he stalked toward me. I had never seen him like this. He was like a panther, graceful and deadly. It was easy to forget in the face of his guileless good nature that he was one of the most dangerous men on the planet. Yay me and my big mouth, I'd made him mad.

"What did I do, Marron?" He asked in a tight controlled voice. I edged away from him, backing toward my car until I ran into the back of it. Goten stopped in front of me, so close I was trapped between his strong legs and the trunk of my car. I looked up at him nervously, trying to hold onto my anger. His eyes still snapped with an inner fire.

"I saw the two of you," I whispered, my voice raspy from screaming. "I saw him all over you, touching you. You just couldn't wait to have him back could you? All he had to say was, 'I love you Chibi' and you were all his again. Weren't you?" I said nastily. Goten said nothing, just stared into my eyes, and my anger built again. He could kill me, but by God I was going to get this out.

"Trunks tried to warn me, he told me you'd pick him…and he was right! Everything Trunks said was right! You never loved me…I was just a substitute until Trunks came back! It wasn't love…it was pity!" I spat, fat tears sliding down my cheeks and I let my hair fall to cover my face. Finally defeated.

Goten rested his hands flat on the trunk of my car and leaned on them, putting his face on my level as I crammed myself back against my car. "Marron…" he said softly, and so gently it made me raise my eyes to his. The anger was gone from Goten's face as if it had never been there, and his black eyes were liquid and wet. I hadn't seen his eyes look like that since…well, since Trunks left. "Marron, if I picked Trunks…what am I doing out here in the middle of the night in the freezing cold with you?" He told me.

I looked at him stunned. "What?" I breathed, afraid I had misheard him. He gave me a crooked little grin; perhaps satisfied he had my full attention at last.

"I didn't choose Trunks, Marron. I love you. You're the one I want to be with." He said simply. I frowned in confusion.

"But…I saw you." I protested weakly.

"What did you see?" He asked, and I told him. Goten gave a half laugh. "You left a minute too early then. You missed me pushing him away, asking him to leave and take his stuff with him." Goten told me. It was too good to be true…Goten had really chosen…me?

"I don't understand… Why? I thought you two were in love. That you had something special." I said. Goten reached out and attempted to smooth my hopeless hair, a small smile playing about his lips.

"We did Marron, once upon a time. But we're different people now, at least I'm different now. I want more out life. He and I will always be best friends, but I don't want to wonder when the next time Trunks is going to have a personality crisis and run away. And what you and I have…that's special too Marron. You stuck by me when I needed you most, that means more to me than anything." He told me.

"Oh." I said quietly, it was because of loyalty. Would Goten always pine then for Trunks? Even though he wasn't the right one for him anymore? I wanted Goten to pick me because he loved me, because he desired me…not because I was his friend, or his partner. I wanted to be Goten's heart's desire.

"You are, Marron. You're everything I've ever wanted in a woman…and more." Goten murmured softly, cupping my face in his palm. My mouth fell open and my astonished eyes met his. How had he known what I was thinking? Goten smiled at me. "Don't look so surprised. I know you too well, I know what you were thinking." He said. I returned the smile hesitantly and Goten leaned in, pressing a soft gentle kiss to my lips.

"I'm sorry I bit you. And ran away." I told him. Goten shook his head, his long hair falling loose around him.

"I'm sorry I scared you. And I'm sorry Trunks made you doubt us." He told me and I blushed. Tentatively, I reached out my arms to encircle his neck, to hold him close again. Goten needed no other encouragement and he swept me up into his arms, holding me so tightly against him I could barely breathe. "I really do love you so much, Marron. More than you'll ever know." He whispered in my ear. I sobbed with happiness.

"I love you too. I was so scared I'd lost you." I cried, burying my face in his neck. When I'd finally shed all the tears I had left I still clung to Goten. "What about Trunks? What did you tell him?" Goten rubbed my back soothingly and said nothing at first.

"I told him it was too late. He made his choice when he left. His time had passed and we went on without him. That we could only be friends now." Goten said simply. I sensed there was more to it than Goten was telling me, and I remembered the way Goten had dragged Trunks away, like he was keeping something from me.

"Goten…what aren't you telling me? Please don't keep secrets." I pleaded, turning my face to his. Goten couldn't quite look me in the eye. "Goten what is it?" I asked more sharply, feeling a cold finger of alarm.

"Remember before Trunks left? When I was trying to get loans for the restaurant?" He asked, I nodded slowly; Goten had been approved fairly readily for a more than adequate sum and excellent interest. "I never got approved for a loan…so I…got the money from Trunks. I never told you because of you warning me not to enter into that kind of informal arrangement. I was afraid you'd think less of me. Trunks urged me to take more money, but I only took the minimum amount based on our business plan."

I nodded understandingly, if that was the worst of it, then no problem.

"After Trunks left I was always worried. Would he take the money back? What would happen to us? Would he hold it over me forever? And sure enough, one of the first things he mentioned when we were alone was the money…" Goten said bitterly. I kissed his face over and over.

"Don't worry. I'll go over the books; we'll find a way to pay him back every cent plus interest. He won't have a hold on you anymore." I assured him. Goten smiled at me with so much love.

"I've already taken care of it. Why do you think we haven't shown a profit yet? It's because I've taken every last extra dollar and set it aside to repay Trunks. And tonight I did, we don't owe him anything anymore." Goten said proudly. I smiled back at him.

"That's wonderful Goten. How did you do it?" I asked, Goten was an excellent chef, but not so great of a business manager. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Well…" He hesitated. I narrowed my eyes at him and he cringed.

"You did! You let another Accountant touch your books?" I exclaimed in mock outrage. I was too happy that Goten was here with me, that he had chosen me to be too upset about it. Goten pressed himself against me again, cupping the back of my head in his palm as he kissed my neck, nuzzling it like he knew I liked.

"I will never, ever, let anyone else touch anything of mine but you." He promised. His wicked grin confirming the double entendre. I poked him in the bicep playfully.

"You better not. You're mine now." I told him. His face turned serious and he bent his head to kiss me, long and deep, his hands cradling my face.

"And you're mine," he whispered, "I was saving this for Christmas, but I think now is the perfect time." Goten murmured, fishing in the pocket of his jeans. My heart stopped, and then lurched back into triple time to see Goten pull out a small velvet box. "It isn't as fancy as I wanted it to be," he said opening the box to show me the small diamond ring inside. "The gem would be castle sized if it reflected my feelings for you. We've been through so much together in our lives…best friends, lovers…will you add mate to the list? Will you be my wife, Marron?" He asked me, but I was crying already. I didn't think I had any tears left, but I found some for this wonderful, tender moment I would remember forever.

"Yes!" I sobbed, throwing my arms around his neck. "Of course I will!"

Goten slipped the ring on my finger, lacing his with mine as he held my hand and kissed me. "I love you." He whispered into my hair, "But I'm freezing…can we go home now?" He asked. I laughed and nodded, my heart so full and bubbling over with love.

He tossed the door he'd ripped off into my car before he encapsulated it. "Sorry I broke your door." He told me, picking me up in his arms and lifting into the air. He got a devilish grin on his face. "I'll just make Trunks get us a new car for a wedding present." He said. I couldn't tell if he was joking or serious, until I saw the twinkle in his eye.

"It's the least he can do if he wants to be the best man." I said, playing along. Goten grinned again, nuzzling my temple with his nose as he flew.

"Absolutely…" Goten agreed. "Think it's tacky to cater your own wedding?" He asked me and I threw back my head and laughed with joy. Knowing absolutely that my life would be filled with it. Even with Trunks around and in our lives again, I had nothing to fear from him anymore…from anyone. I had Goten.

"Goten…you're too much." I said, tightening my arms around his neck as he flew a loop.

"I wasn't thinking of doing anything too fancy." Goten said, repressing a smile that made the corners of his mouth twitch. "We could always just give the guests sandwiches."

His eyes met mine and we couldn't hold it in any longer and the chilly December wind carried our laughter away into the night.

****

OWARI

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