Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ MST3K Saiyajin Style ❯ The Way It Never Was - Installment Three ( Chapter 4 )

MST3K Saiyajin Style!~

Chapter 3 - The Way It Never Was part 3~

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> Trunks felt it in his hands sting.

Gohan: Yeah, that's clear.

> Kat cracked her whip again. This time, the flames changed

> colors to blue.

All four: Oooh.

Yamcha: It's maaaaagic!

> The blade began to turn a bright red, and Trunks couldn't stand

> the heat any longer.

Gohan and Trunks: If ya can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!

Vegeta: Are we going to start using bad, over-used phrases now?

Yamcha: I, personally, avoid clichés like the plague.

> He dropped the sword; Kat tossed it into a cliff face. Trunks

> looked at his hands to find that an imprint of the swords handle

> was burned into both of his palms.

Trunks: So my sword changed into that one that Darth Maul has? Cool!

> So much for that, he thought. Kat began to laugh that annoying

> laugh of hers.

All four: Hee hee hee hee hee!

> Suddenly, Pan stomped on her foot.

Yamcha: Suddenly?

Gohan: Surprise!

> "Ow!" she yelped as Pan rushed for safety. "You little runt! You

> won't get away that easily!" She pointed her index and middle

> finger at Pan,

Gohan: And flipped her off! That'll teach her.

> and the ground beneath her rose and grabbed her ankles. She fell

> face first only to become tied down by another set of earthly

> hands.

Trunks: It could be worse. It could be _un_earthly hands!

Yamcha: *Begins whistling the X-Files theme*

Gohan: *Singing* I wanna be free...

Vegeta: I wanna be free too. But the fic's not over yet.

> Meanwhile, Kit drew a sword of his own.

Vegeta: I can't draw a sword...I can draw a cat, or a fish...

Gohan: Oh, I can draw a sword, a bath, the curtains...breath...

Yamcha: And he drew his _own_ sword as opposed to Kenshin Himura's!

Gohan: Well...Kenshin's blade wouldn't do much good.

> The blade was a metallic blue, but other than that, exactly like

> Trunks's.

Trunks: Yes, other than looking entirely different, it was _exactly_ like my sword!

Gohan: It was _a_ metallic blue?

Yamcha: There are so many to choose from, you know.

Trunks: No, I don't care for the metallic blue...do you have a metallic umber?

> He landed with it outstreched and charged at Gohan, who has

> now emerged from the rubble he was trown into.

Trunks: He huddled through the air amog the rubble as he was trown! He then bagan to gather engery for his next attack, but the bluff beside him exploded mysteriously, causing him to cancel his trademark fireball from the orderly.

Yamcha: Michael Jackson's chest was outstreched as he heaved a sigh of disappointment and cast a cold glance-

Trunks: Quarter!

Yamcha: -at the happy black sky!

Gohan: The bolders watched calmly from the poarch. Then they slimed and said `Don't worry, sweaty, you'll do better next time!'

Vegeta: And so ends chapter four of Michael Jackson and the Exploding Bluffs in Happy Black Sky Land. Good night.

> Gohan saw this and turned Super Sayian as well. As he did, the

> ice around his torso shattered like glass.

Yamcha: Gee, nobody's _ever_ compared ice with glass before!

> Gohan send an energy ball straight at him. Kit jumped onto the

> blast and started to ride it like a Nimbus.

Gohan: ...um...Energy blasts aren't solid objects. They're masses of explosive light. And did you notice that I `send' it as opposed to `sent' it?

Trunks: At least it wasn't `engery' this time.

> He turned it around and was still charging at Gohan, but this

> time his sword was down at his side like a golf club.

All four: Fore!!

> Gohan wasn't ready for this turn of events and backed away

> slowly. Kit's sword began to glow blue.

Yamcha: Again!

Trunks: I like umber better.

Gohan: ...*looks at Yamcha* He likes umber butter?

Yamcha: Better, better.

Gohan: Better use all that butter before it turns umber!

Trunks: Umber Butter: the trademark topping of Michael Jackson!

Yamcha: Yes, he eats it on bolder shaped rolls while sitting on his poarch.

Gohan: Or on his cucumber sandwiches.

> He then swung it over his head and back down to its original

> position sending a blade of ice directly at Gohan.

Vegeta: Iced umber butter.

Yamcha: ...ok, now we're just getting silly.

Gohan: Liquid umber butter engery drinks!

Trunks: The trademark drink of Michael Jackson.

Yamcha: He gets a quarter every time someone buys it.

> He rolled out of harms way causing the ice blade to shatter on

> the cliff face.

Yamcha: Aww, you broke my umber butter.

Gohan: Poor Cliff.

> He looked up at his enemy and saw, at least three feet away from

> him, Trunks's Sword that Kat threw.

Trunks: Ooh, my sword is capitalized!

Gohan: Trunks's Sword that Kat Threw: sequel to Michael Jackson and the Exploding Bluffs in Happy Black Sky Land!

Vegeta: At least the title is shorter this time.

Yamcha: And this one comes with an order form for Michael Jackson's Trademark Umber Butter!

Trunks: He's really hung up on that umber butter, isn't he?

Gohan: Well, when you have no life...

Vegeta: We're beating that joke to death.

Gohan: What are you talking about? This entire story was dead to begin with. We're just...um...

Trunks: Tenderizing it?

Gohan: I suppose you could say that...

> Kit was coming at Gohan pretty fast, but he was faster. As fast as

> light, Gohan pulled his friend's sword out of the rock and used it

> to trip Kit off the engery ball.

Yamcha: Ahh, _there's_ the engery ball!

Trunks: Was he _standing_ on the engery ball or something?

Vegeta: No, he was satnding on it. Didn't you notice?

Gohan: You kids get off this engery ball this minute! What will your father say?

> Due to the speed in which this happened, Kit went flying only to

> be stopped by the bolder he jumped over.

Gohan: It's moving!

Trunks: I thought he had jumped over it already.

Yamcha: Well, he was so engrossed in his Umber Butter Donut at the time...

Gohan: Umber Butter Donuts would be a great name for a rock band.

Yamcha: With their first hit single: Michael Jackson's Bolder Poarch Blues!

Trunks: And here comes the song...

Gohan and Yamcha: *Singing* I'm dancing with tears in my eyes, `cause the girl in my arms is a boy...

Vegeta: The truly scary thing about that is not only do they know those songs, they sing them simultaneously and in harmony with no further notice.

> He looked up to nothing in front of him.

Trunks: How sad to have nothing to look up to.

> He looked higher up, and there was Gohan with the sword about

> to crack his foe's skull. Kit shot his free hand upward, and a bolt

> of lightning struck the sword's handle. This caused it to fly out of

> Gohan's hand and land next to Pan, who is now tied down by the

> earthly hands of Kat.

Yamcha: Earthly Hands of Kat: Umber Butter Donut's second hit single!

Gohan and Yamcha: *Singing* All day, all night, Maryanne... Who the heck ya think I am, Superman?

> At the same time, Kit thrust his sword into Gohan's stomach. Kit,

> with his eyes closed, felt his sword become heavy and let it fall

> to the ground. He expected to here the sound of metal hitting

> stone, but instead he heard a sudden 'omph'

Gohan: No further explanation necessary.

Trunks: He heard a sudden `omph' as the German Oompa Band began to play!

Yamcha: When you thing `shocking horror', think German Oompa Band.

Vegeta: I guess `omph' is better than `stab' `OW!!!'

> and the sound of a body hit the ground.

All four: Thud.

Gohan and Yamcha: *Singing* Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the-

Trunks and Vegeta: *Shut them up before they can start yelling*

> Trunks saw his sword and rushed for it as fast as light.

Gohan: Everyone's moving as fast as light. Doesn't anyone move as fast as dark?

> As he drew it out, he saw his Gohan's body fall to the ground.

Trunks: _My_ Gohan? Since when is he _my_ Gohan?? I don't want him!

> He hadn't even taken a fighting stance yet to continue his battle

> with Kat. He just stood there in shock as Gohan's body lay there

> still as the surrounding rocks.

Yamcha: Because the bolders chose to remain on the poarch.

Trunks: Dude, these surroundings rock!

> A blue blade was thrusted through the Sayian's stomach.

Trunks: Do you people have something against umber?

Yamcha: It's only in the butter, Trunks.

Gohan: The butter is within.

> His eyes turned to Kit who just now opened his eyes to see what

> he has done. He reached for the sword that remained plunged in

> Gohan's body and pulled it out. Trunks was enraged.

Trunks: Rarr.

> That cold look of his

Trunks: Quarter!

> he had during his battle with Kat was replaced with one Vegeta

> would normally take.

Yamcha: Yes, Trunks looked humphy.

> A look of anger and hate swallowed the boy's face

All four: Yum?

Yamcha: Humphy umber butter.

Gohan: Try saying that five times fast.

Yamcha: Humphyumberbutter humphyumberbutter fumphyum...fumphy?

> to the point where his heavy and almost broken breathing could

> be heard.

Gohan: *Slowly* Ok...

Trunks: Very fragile breathing I've got...

Yamcha: Both heavy _and_ fragile!

Vegeta: Oh no...

Gohan: Fragile Breath: Umber Butter Donut's third hit single!

Gohan and Yamcha: *Singing* It was an itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini...

Trunks: NO!! I _hate_ that song!

Yamcha: Go tell Dave Barry, not us.

> He then rushed at Kit only to be stopped one foot short by Kat.

All four: His foot fell off?

Vegeta: Either that or Kat took his foot off.

Gohan: No soup for you!!

> She wrapped her whip around his ankles and then caused the

> earth to grab his wrists as he fell. He couldn't move, but worst of

> all, he

Yamcha: ...couldn't find his foot.

> had an up close and personal view of Gohan's death wound.

Yamcha, Gohan, and Trunks: Dun dun dun!

Vegeta: Stop it.

> He could feel Gohan's ki disappearing now but also felt another's

> returning. Whose could it be? An image flashed in his head.

Trunks: AAHH!!!

> Piccolo? thought Trunks. He's alive?

Gohan: I thought he was a cucumber sandwich.

Yamcha: He is.

> But--- He felt a boot step on his back with a driving force

Yamcha and Gohan: *Singing* These boots were made for walking, and that's just what they'll do! And one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!

> and the whip being unwrapped.

> "You idiot!" scolded Kat. "Why the heck did you go and do

> that?"

> "Yes, Kit," said an evil voice.

Yamcha: Bwahahaha!

> "why did you kill him?"

Gohan: And what did you do with my capital `W'?

> Trunks moved as much of his head as he could to see where the

> voice came from. Throught the cornor of his eye he could see

Yamcha: ...Michael Jackson and the bolders waiting on the poarch for rain to come down from the happy black sky.

Gohan: I wish I could see the exit to this theater throught the cornor of my eye.

> Master Kizar. A cold chill shot up his spine.

Trunks: BANG!

Vegeta: But it wasn't a cold glance, so he didn't get a quarter.

> "Your orders were to capture them, and you disobeyed them.

Gohan: Bad! BAD! No Scooby Snacks for you!

> By killing this one, you have won my choice as the warrior who

> will fight in the death match in the Destiny Caves. Your

> opponent," Kizar laughed an evil laugh,

Yamcha: Bwahahaha again!

> "is him." He motioned to Trunks. "And since he is still enraged

> at you for doing so,

Trunks: Rarr.

> this shall make an interesting match. Kat, drain him of his energy

> and then bring him inside with the others. As for you," directing

> this to Kit, "you have one hour to prepare for the fight of and for

> your life."

Gohan: What's with all the overused colloquialisms in this fic?

> Trunks then started to feel Kat's foot lift from his back and then

> tired.

Yamcha: So, he went to sleep.

> He fought to keep his eyes open but failed. His hearing was

> turning on and off at random intervals.

Yamcha: Strobe effect hearing.

> Finally, he blacked out.

Trunks: Thank God.

> Thirty minutes has passed by. If he was anything like Goku, Kit

> would be training like mad.

Yamcha: He was training like happy.

> He wasn't.

All four: Shock.

> High atop the highest point in Yamzabit Hights, one could find

> Kit sitting there.

Yamcha: ...drinking his Iced Umber Butter.

Vegeta: That is _so_ unappetizing...

Gohan: And this coming from a Saiyajin is frightening.

Trunks: What is?

Gohan: That something's unappetizing.

> Just sitting as if he already knew he was going to loose.

Trunks: Good to know he wasn't going to tight.

> His ponytail was flapping against his right cheek as the wind

> blew, and he failed to show any kind of feeling.

Yamcha: And then we realized that it wasn't Kit at all! It was a statue.

> His face was as cold and still as Trunks only with a different

> kind of tone.

Gohan: Isn't that the same as `equal but different'?

> This tone was depression.

All four: Aww.

> It was the kind of depression that a person gets after a loved one

> dies. Something did die.

Vegeta: You can almost hear the sappy violin music.

> It wasn't anything that was once living, but it felt like it was.

Gohan: It was alive. NO! Wait! It wasn't. YES IT WAS!

Trunks: I hereby nickname this fic the Fic of Indecisiveness.

> What was it?

All four: We don't know.

> Another fifteen minutes making his meditation last about forty-

> five minutes of his hour.

Yamcha: In other words, he meditated for three quarters of his hour.

Trunks: No, only _I_ get the quarters.

> "There's nothing I can do, now," Kit mumbled to himself. He

> then turned back to the cave and took the long way back.

Gohan and Yamcha: *Singing* Take the long way home... Take the long way home...

> Meanwhile, somewhere in the hideout, Piccolo is being given a

> briefing on why he was spared.

Trunks: I thought briefings were only for spy missions.

> "You see," explained Master Kizar, "I am the head of a very

> elect number of individuals.

Gohan: Elect is a verb. Not an adjective.

> These individuals possess powers that are at the max of their

> ability.

Trunks: The audience is now confused.

> We were once the most fear army in the universe.

Yamcha: Fear Army? What's that, a lot of guys running around screaming or something?

> We were so powerful that Freeza and his weak Ginyu Force

Vegeta: *Snorts* Of _course_ the Ginyu Force is weak.

Trunks: Who's the Ginyu Force...?

> made me sign a document stating that we were never to be allies

> nor enemies.

Gohan: Then...they just ignore each other?

> Should that of happen, the results would be too much, even for

> Freeza.

Vegeta: We need a translator over here, please. And it's Freiza.

> Anyway, somehow someone from Earth defeated almost all my

> members."

All four: Goku, perhaps?

Yamcha: And when did you come to earth? You aren't in DB, DBZ, or DBGT!

Gohan: AF, perhaps?

Trunks: AF doesn't exist.

> "But you and those two wiz-kids were the only ones that escaped,

> right?"

Vegeta: They aren't wiz-kids. They're Kit Kat Bars.

> growled Piccolo.

Trunks: Rarr?

> Kizar nodded. "And now you want to reform that army with the

> strongest from Earth. That's why you saved me, right?" Kizar

> nodded.

Trunks: Master Kizar: Head of the Intergalactic Recruitment Agency!

> "So why Trunks and not Goku?"

Yamcha: He likes Trunks' hair better.

Gohan: And Trunks has more quarters.

> "Excuse me?"

> "Why did you pick Trunks over Goku? You want the Earth's

> strongest, so what pick the fourth strongest Sayian that lives

> here?"

Trunks: I don't like this fic.

Vegeta: Oh, and what, am I the SECOND?! NEVER!!! I AM THE STRONGEST!!!!!

Trunks, Yamcha, and Gohan: *Edge away from him*

> Sneaky little Namek.

Yamcha: Bad Namek! Bad!

> He was trying to find out as much as he can about his plans, as if

> he wasn't going to reveal them anyways. That's practically villian

> code!

Gohan: As we slowly seep into narrator mode.

> "Goku, as you call him, would never join. I've seen and delt with

> his type before. The younger generation is easier to control.

> That's why Kit and Kat are so young. Not only were they the

> master of their skills, but they were easy to make my own.

Yamcha: THAT'S WRONG!!! CHILD MOLESTING!!!!

Trunks: Yamcha, please shut up.

> You, on the other hand, were a challange.

Yamcha: Ok...? He was dominating Piccolo? EW!!

Trunks: YAMCHA...

> You had too many good and ideal thoughts that shouldn't be

> there.

Gohan: Piccolo? Good and ideal thoughts? That's like Vegeta thinking about bunnies.

Vegeta: *Growls*

> It only clouds the mind causing fighters to be weak and feeble.

Yamcha: Like my grandma?

> That's why I brainwashed you."

> "You what?!" Piccolo got steamed really quick.

Vegeta: Hope you used a good detergent.

Trunks: Steamed Piccolo. A great addition to any meal.

"I'm sure you heard me,

All four: Duh.

> but just for your sake, I'll tell you again. I brainwashed you.

Gohan: So there.

> Go on and try to remember something about your past." Piccolo

> did so, but nothing came to him. "It's just a blank. You are only

> able to remember names and other statistics like that, but as for

> actual events, there is nothing."

Yamcha: Yeah, he can remember power levels and individual people, but nothing _important_. It's all blank.

Trunks: And how does he know what he remembers? He's talented.

> Piccolo growled somemore

Vegeta: And I think there's somemore of this fic after the next break.

> but Kizar just walked on leaving the Namek alone to wonder the

> passages as free will.

Yamcha: *Airy tone* Gee, I wonder what the passages are like...

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Well, there ya go. Installment number three. I hope you're ready for more pain, because Veggitie-poo's right: there is somemore of this fic. Later.