Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ MST3K Saiyajin Style ❯ The Way It Never Was - Installment Four ( Chapter 5 )

MST3K Saiyajin Style!~

Chapter 2 - The Way It Never Was part 4~

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> The hour was drawing to a close

Yamcha: The hour was drawing clothes?

Trunks: Hardly.

Gohan: Now _that's_ an interesting mental picture.

> as Trunks found himself on the floor of a dark cavern.

Trunks: Oh, _there_ I am!

Vegeta: *Blinks at him and sweatdrops*

Trunks: I found myself.

Yamcha: Oooh...that was terrible, Trunks.

Trunks: Thank you.

> His sword was missing along with his capsules. He did still have

> the Senzu Beans given to him from Dende.

Gohan: Given to him BY Dende! BY Dende!!

Yamcha: *Waves* Bye, Dende!

Gohan: *Leans over and whacks him*

Yamcha: OW!

> He picked himself up and looked around the poorly lite cave.

Vegeta: Cave lite?

Trunks: Fat free, low sodium!

Yamcha: Goes well with the Iced Umber Butter, I'll bet.

> His eyes would adjust soon, but all he saw was huge room.

Trunks: He saw a lot of room? So...in other words...nothing?

> Depth, hight, and where the cliffs were he couldn't see as of now.

Gohan: That was so grammatically incorrect it gave me a headache.

Vegeta: You mean you didn't already have one?

Gohan: It made it worse.

> He was standing at a hallway

Yamcha: As opposed to _in_ a hallway.

> and could faintly see another hallway parallel to it.

Trunks: Hey, cool, I have x-ray vision.

> He was starting to get annoyed at the darkness

Trunks: Rarr.

Vegeta: Be gone, darkness. You annoy me.

> and looked for something flammable.

Yamcha: Must...have...fire!!!

> Suddenly, the lighting got brighter as if someone turned up a

> switch.

All four: AH!

> Trunks turned and gaurded against the harsh light.

Yamcha: Why, was it attacking him?

Trunks: Talented light.

Yamcha: How does one `gaurd' oneself...?

Gohan: Ah, a sub-dimension in which light is not only a solid object, but it's alive.

Vegeta: Michael Jackson winced as the Living Solid Light knocked him into the poarch bolders, causing his body to feel like Iced Umber Butter.

Gohan: Living Solid Light would be another good name for a rock band.

> When his eyes readjusted to the change, he saw his sword in the

> center of the room. The room itself was a huge one at that. As

> Trunks walked to the sword, he guessed that this room was about

> a thousand or so feet hight and thousands more in diameter.

Trunks: That's not a `room', that's an `indoor football field'.

Yamcha: If it was that big and he was in the middle, he wouldn't be able to see the ceiling or any of the walls. It's over a mile across that way.

> Cliffs were located on his left side and on his right was a tall cliff

> with another pair of entrances and exits.

Vegeta: Another pair? But he didn't mention any before.

Trunks: And how can he tell which is which? Does it have a little light-up `Exit' sign over it?

> Trunks put his hand on his sword's handle preparing to draw it.

Gohan: Because he'd been taking art lessons.

> Taking a last look around to see if anyone was there, he then

> drew it out of the rock

Yamcha: ...and became king of England!

> and sheathed it.

> "Not a smart move," called a familar voice.

Trunks: Called? On my cell phone?

> Trunks looked up. His challenger Kit was standing in the

> entrance of the hallway.

Yamcha: The mile-wide hallway?

Trunks: I don't suppose it really matters. I wasn't in it; I was at it. And I can use my x-ray vision to see any quick ways out!

Vegeta: It doesn't matter if you have x-ray vision or not. You're still stuck in the middle of a lot of... not-thereness.

> He was leaning against the wall with his armed crossed.

Gohan: He was armed with a cross. He planned to fight a vampire.

Vegeta: Either that or he was doing his Nicholas Wolfwood impersonation.

> A cocky look dawned the face as he tossed the hair that wouldn't

> go into his ponytail behind an ear.

Yamcha: Who's face?

Gohan: Who's hair?

Trunks: Who's ear?

Vegeta: It's either talking about Kit, Trunks, or a wig head. Or someone named `Dawn'.

> He wasn't wearing the black cloak.

Trunks: Well, _that's_ certainly a relief.

> Instead, he wore a white outfit similar to Trunks's black sweat-

> pants and tank-top.

Gohan: Again with the `similar but completely different' motif.

> His sword was also in a similar sheath to that of Trunks.

Vegeta: The sheath of Trunks.

Yamcha: That makes me think of my Spanish class...I don't remember much of it, though.

Gohan: What did you learn?

Yamcha: Where to locate the pen of my aunt.

Gohan: Where was it?

Yamcha: It was on the desk of my uncle.

> In short, his outfit looked like a negative of Tunks's

All four: Tunks's?

Trunks: I lost my `r' now. First it was my capital `T', now it's my `r'.

> minus the blue jacket.

Yamcha: Clothing mathematics.

Gohan: What do you get when you subtract a skirt from a pair of pants?

Trunks: Leg warmers!

> Trunks could feel an energy ball forming in his hands, but he

> wasn't going to use it.

Trunks: So I called the orderly and cancelled it.

> If he used it now, he may not be able to find the exit.

Vegeta: The exit that he just _saw_?

> Kit drew his blue sword. "Let's get it over with," he sighed.

> "My thought exactly," growled Trunks.

Vegeta: I had always suspected he wasn't capable of having several thoughts.

Gohan: He has a one-track mind.

Yamcha: His train of thought is a runaway.

Trunks: See me reading this story? I'm ignoring you!

Gohan and Yamcha: Well, we're prepared to make that _very_ difficult for you.

> He then sent the engery ball flying in Kit's direction.

Gohan: Ooh! Ooh! Another engery ball!!

> A mighty explosion made the entrance a bit bigger and produced

> a lot of smoke. Trunks then redrew his sword

Yamcha: Aww, I messed up my drawing. I'll just have to redraw it.

> and got into a defence stance.

Vegeta: *Dryly* This is familiar. Defence stances don't work, remember? We learned this lesson a few chapters ago.

> Kit then flew out of the smoke his sword pointed at Trunks's

> head.

Gohan: A comma, senator. We need a comma.

Trunks: I found my `r'!

> Trunks knocked that and another series of blows almost as easily

> as he did with Gohan during training.

All four: Huh?

> Both tried to strike at the other only to be caught in a deadlock.

> The two fighters were standing so close that they could see each

> others nose hairs.

All four: Too much information!

> Trunks hadn't even broken into a sweat. Kit was, on the other

> hand, starting to. He also had a look on his face that made

> Trunks think that Kit was enjoying himself. Trunks then yelled

> at the top of his lungs, and Kit fell back from a sudden unknown

> force.

Gohan: It wasn't an unknown force. It was Trunks' breath.

Yamcha: No, `It' was a clown created by Stephen King, but that's not important right now.

Vegeta: You're right, it's not.

> A golden aura engulfed the teenage Sayian and his long purple

> hair was being blown upwards. As it flapped in the unfelt wind,

Yamcha: So how do you know it was there?

Trunks: Visible wind. It was umber.

Gohan: You and your umber.

Yamcha: Take an umber and sit down.

> it quickly turned blond. Trunks then ceased his yelling; the aura

> disappeared. His hair was now spiked and up in a kind of Bart

> Simpson/Final Fantasy 7's Cloud style. He has turned Super

> Sayian.

Gohan: EVERYONE WHO WATCHES DRAGON BALL Z KNOWS WHAT SUPER SAIYAJIN FORMS LOOK LIKE!!

Trunks: Calm yourself.

Vegeta: When your aura disappears, you're dead. Don't these bad fic authors know anything?

Yamcha, Trunks, and Gohan: No.

> "Very impressive," Kit said flatly. "I bet you think that I'm

> scared now."

> "You should be," Trunks replied.

Trunks: Rarr.

> For the first time, he actually sounded like his father.

Gohan: I thought he sounded like Vegeta earlier in this fic.

Trunks: For the second, third, or even seven-hundredth time, he actually sounded like his father.

> Creepy for those who know him best.

Yamcha: Creepy for _anyone_.

> "In this form, I'm faster and stronger than I was two seconds

> ago."

Vegeta: Trunks lite.

Yamcha: So we have Trunks, Trunks lite, and little fun-sized Trunklettes.

Trunks: You make me sound like a candy bar, or some other snack food.

Yamcha: Try new Tater Trunks!

Trunks: *Slaps his forehead*

> "Yeah right," Kit again flatly uttered.

Gohan: Road kill statements.

> "Prove it." With those words, Trunks disappeared from normal

> vision.

Gohan and Yamcha: *Singing in ominous tones* Normal view! Normal view!! Normal VIEW!! NORMAL VIIIIEEEEWWWW!!!

Vegeta: *Hurriedly stuffing cotton in his ears*

> Moving at the speed of light, he ran behind Kit and was going to

> strike from over-head with his sword. As soon as he reappeared,

> however, Kit wasn't where he was before.

Yamcha: He was...*Dramatically* Somewhere _else_.

> Trunks landed from his protential attack

Trunks: As opposed to my _con_tential attack.

Gohan: Perhaps your _amateur_tential attack?

> and glanced quickly around. Kit was running into the hallway

> Trunks found himself in at the begining.

Yamcha: Bet that hurt.

Trunks: We aren't getting anywhere very fast, are we?

Vegeta: First we're at a hallway, then we're in a huge room, then we're back at the hallway, and now were in the room going towards the hallway?

> Trunks sprinted to the entrance again at the speed of light.

Yamcha: How come nothing ever moves at the speed of dark??

> Kit didn't even get half a foot in the doorway when Trunks

> suddenly appeared in front of him.

Yamcha: ...and yelled, `Shame on you! Didn't your mother ever teach you never to only put half a foot in the doorway?'

> Kit jumped back and took a defensive stance with his sword

> again.

Trunks: Oh, _sure_. _He_ gets to take _defensive_ stances.

Gohan: That's the price you have to pay for all those quarters.

> A few of his gloden

Yamcha: Gloden?

Gohan: Well, _that's_ an interesting name for a color.

> and purple and black streaks were hanging in his face making

> him look like a combination of Goten, Trunks, and a Super

> Sayian.

Vegeta: That's a very odd, not to mention physically impossible, combination.

Trunks: And Goten can't have kids yet! He's only ten! ...wait, so am I.

> Trunks slashed his sword upward missing Kit but exposing a

> wide attack area.

Yamcha: Yeah, if he wanted to attack thin air.

> Kit then trust his sword at his stomach

Gohan: Hara-kari? Oh, surely the fight isn't going _that_ bad.

> only to strike through air.

Yamcha: Poor air. It didn't do anything wrong!

> Trunks quickly jumped behind him and grabbed Kit's free arm

Gohan: Free arm! Get yer free arm right here!

Trunks: Oooh! Oooh! I want one!

> in a hammer-lock (pulled the wrist back to almost in between the

> shoulder blades)

All four: No.

> while putting the blade of his sword against his neck.

Trunks: Whose neck?

Gohan: Kit's?

Yamcha: The wig head's?

Vegeta: Pee Wee Herman's?

> Kit tried to elbow Trunks in his face but missed. He also almost

> cut his own throat in the process.

Gohan: Geez, and I thought _I_ had sharp elbows.

Yamcha: I think it's with the sword.

> Trunks then tighten the hammer-lock, and Kit grunted slightly

> with the pain.

Vegeta: He and the pain grunted together.

> In a desperate act, Kit threw his sword to the ground and sent an

> ice beam into the young Sayian's face. Trunks dropped his own

> sword and grabbed his face riving in pain.

Gohan: Riving?

Yamcha: Riving it up in Ros Regas, Raggy!

Trunks: Scooby Doo! I love that guy!

Vegeta: You would. You have similar IQs.

Trunks: ........HEY!

> Kit rolled away grabbing his sword but not Trunks's. Trunks

> shook off some ice from his face. His eyebrows now had a sliver

> tint to it

Trunks: Ooow...

Yamcha: *Singing* Come on, Trunksy Doo, I see you, pretending you've got a sliver...

Trunks: Yeah, but in my _eyebrows_?

Gohan: Eyebrow Slivers would be a great name for a rock band!

> with the remaining ice, and there was frostbite right below both

> of his eyes. Trunks couldn't believe this. A Super Sayian

> bleeding?!

Vegeta: Yeah, Super Saiyajins bleed. It's not a difficult concept to grasp, Trunks.

Trunks: That's not me!!

> He flash an angery look at Kit.

Trunks: ...quarter?

Gohan: Angery engery.

> They made eye contact until Kit looked down at where Trunks's

> sword landed.

Gohan: Then it was a little too difficult.

> Trunks followed his eyes and levitated it back to its owner.

All four: He/I levitated his/my eyes?

> This time around, Trunks took the defensive stance.

Yamcha: Defensive stance! Was yours, mine now.

> Kit was just standing there his sword hanging close to his right

> side.

Gohan: How touching... his sword stays by his side right until the end.

Yamcha and Trunks: Aww...

Vegeta: Shut up.

> His chest was moving up and down with his heavy breathing.

All four: *Blank looks*

Yamcha: I don't even know how to respond to that.

> It took a lot out of him to defend himself from all those fast

> attacks, and Trunks knew this.

Gohan: He's a smart cookie.

> He knew that he had the perfect chance to attack and maybe even

> kill him.

Trunks: And...I haven't killed him because...?

> He couldn't bring himself to do it though.

Trunks: Ah, compassion.

Vegeta: *Looks at Trunks* You are no son of mine.

> Something inside him said for him to wait.

Yamcha: The voices in his head were giving him advice!

> Kit stared him down with a similar look to Vegeta's.

Trunks: Staring contest!

Gohan: He's all hoity-toity.

Vegeta: *Glare*

> Meanwhile, who should be watching the fight but Kizar and Kat

> on a viewing globe.

All four: Riiiight...

> They were in a room that looked like Sailor Moon's Queen

> Bairal's throne room (minus the flowing background)

Gohan: Nothing says `originality' like a bunch of settings from other random Animes thrown into the storyline!

> and was soon joined by a fustrated Piccolo.

Yamcha: The Humphy Cucumber.

Trunks: He wasn't humphy. He was fustrated.

> "Oooo," Kat commentated, "that was a good one."

Gohan: So she's a commentator? Like Peter Jennings?

Trunks: She sounds like she's commentating for a sporting event...

Yamcha: Trunksball. Umber-buttery Trunkscorn only 50 cents a bag!

> "What's my first order, Kizar?" ask Piccolo regretfully.

Trunks: Oh, so _Kizar's_ the orderly! I get it now.

Gohan: Suddenly it all makes sense.

> Kizar and Kat looked up. Kizar had a harsh glance.

Yamcha: Not a harsh look on his face, just a harsh glance.

Vegeta: He had one? Wouldn't that be relatively hard to digest?

> "Master Kizar," Piccolo corected himself.

Gohan: The author should have corected his spelling.

> "Guard duty," Kizar dully said. "Come with me."

Gohan and Yamcha: *Almost start to sing*

Trunks and Vegeta: NO.

Gohan: Spoil sports.

> Kizar left the room and led Piccolo down a long corridor to a

> series of holding cells.

> "Piccolo!!" yelled a high-piched voice. Piccolo turned to it. It

> was

Yamcha: ...a Furby!

Trunks: Dear God in heaven, no...

> Bra, She and the others were held in one cell.

Gohan: That comma was not supposed to be a comma.

Yamcha: Using commas, just in the wrong places?

> "Piccolo, have you come to save us?"

Trunks: ...from this horrible fic?

> No reply.

All four: Aww.

> "Piccolo?" chimed in Pan.

Yamcha: Ding!

> "What's up?" No reply. Kizar then stepped into view.

All four: AH!

> "What have you done to Piccolo?!" demanded Goten. An angry

> look dawned the face

Gohan: The face? The face of _what_?

Yamcha: Of... Archgod Eviltooth the Sinister?

Vegeta: And his all-trombone band?

Trunks: With his WWF trophies?

> as he said this to Kizar.

> "Piccolo," Kizar ordered,

Trunks: See, I told you he was the orderly.

> "guard this cell and don't listen to these rugrats." He turned eerily

Gohan: You don't `turn eerily'!!

Yamcha: Boogie boogie BOOGIE!!!

Gohan: Right, whatever.

> towards the children. "They're mine if that teenager fails against

> Kit." He now directed his attention to the kid who were huddled

> and shaking in fear.

Trunks: All one of them.

> All but Goten, that is, who was trying to be like his father Goku.

> "As for you, I have a gift." Kizar opened his cloak to reveal

Gohan: *Before Yamcha can even say anything* Yamcha, shut up.

> a viewing globe exactly like that he and Kat were using.

Yamcha: *Impersonating Jareth from Labyrinth* It's a crystal. Nothing more.

Trunks: We're using obscure references now?

Gohan: We have been. Where were you?

Trunks: ...ignoring you?

> "I'll let you guys watch the fight.

Vegeta: Isn't he generous?

> Think of it as Pay-Per-View on my behalf.

Yamcha: So...Pay-Per-View is a universal constant now?

> After all, you may end up in the same way." He then stood up

> with an omnipotent tone and walked back to the throne room.

Gohan: *Flatly* He stood up with an omnipotent tone?

Yamcha: His legs are all-knowing. And they sing!

Trunks: Bad mental images...that sounds like something that belongs on The Wall...

Yamcha: Eh, it probably is somewhere...Kizar and his Magical All-Powerful Singing Legs! Right after the dancing hammers.

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AGH! Ok, this is 22 pages on Microsoft Word at a size 16 font, so...I'm gonna stop right here. Hey, never fear, there _is_ more. 30 more pages of it, to be exact. I would edit out the bad parts, but...the only things that would be left would be the title and the part that says `THE END' which wouldn't make for much of a story. So...I'll be back with this...eventually.