Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ On The Outside Looking In ❯ ChiChi's Loneliness ( Chapter 1 )

On The Outside Looking In

Part 1 "ChiChi's Loneliness"


ChiChi readied herself for the night out at Bulma's. Bulma had invited her and Goku to a party at Capsule Corp. The whole gang was expected to attend, and ChiChi decided that tonight was the night she would finally have some much needed time alone with Goku. She had asked her father to watch Gohan and was more than happy when her father insisted that Gohan spend the night.
As ChiChi admired herself in the mirror, she thought *when was the last time we actually went out somewhere just the two of us?* *Oh yea, it was Bulma and Vegeta's wedding, wow, I can't believe it has been that long, nearly two years.*
"Oh Goku, are you ready to leave?" she asked.
"Yea, sure let's get this over with" Goku yelled from the other room.
Not a word was spoken during the drive there, and ChiChi once again felt that heaviness in her heart, that feeling she was beginning to know all too well. Although peace had returned to her life, she wasn't happy. It seemed that Goku paid absolutely no attention to her anymore, unless of course the conversation was about food, she could get his attention then. She glanced over at his muscled form and felt tears fill her eyes again. She had given up asking him what was wrong, why he showed no interest in her anymore, it only caused arguments and she wanted to try her best to enjoy the party and maybe, just maybe he would show her some sort of affection tonight, she hoped.

When they arrived at the party they were greeted by a very excited Bulma. Since all the fighting was over it was good to see everyone happy again.
"Hey Goku, ChiChi, you guys made it" shouted Krillin who was sitting with his arm around 18.
"Hey Krillin" Goku yelled and proceeded to walk over to him, leaving ChiChi behind.
"ChiChi?" "Is something wrong?" questioned Bulma
"No, I'm fine, just tired I guess" ChiChi said as she looked over at Goku with sadness in her eyes.
As the party went on ChiChi found herself standing alone in the corner, while almost everyone else chatted and drank and laughed. Even Goku was looking like he was enjoying himself he was dancing with Bulma. *Funny* ChiChi thought, "he seems to have forgotten I'm even here" she muttered under her breath.
"He is a fool"
She jumped and spun around to see Vegeta glaring at Goku and Bulma on the dance floor.
"You don't think...." ChiChi trailed off looking over at the laughing couple on the dance floor.
"I'm beginning not to care" Vegeta said flatly. "You shouldn't either," he said as he looked over at her.
"What exactly does that mean?" she questioned. But Vegeta only turned to leave and said "Later" under his breath.
"That man is the strangest man I have ever meant, I swear I don't know how Bulma can live with him. He never makes any sense, always talking in circles." ChiChi was muttering to herself.

After sometime later, Goku finally walked over to his wife and said "Well, are you ready to go?"
"WHAT!" "You haven't even danced with me yet."
"Aw ChiChi, I'm too tired, I wanna go home."
ChiChi could feel herself getting angry, but was determined not to make a scene.
"Fine, we can go home. Anyway, we have the entire night to ourselves, remember Gohan is spending the night at my fathers."
"ChiChi, I already told you I am tired, I just want to get some rest."
"Fine."
They quickly said their goodbyes and left. And once again there was silence all the way home.
When they entered their house, Goku went upstairs and quickly got ready for bed and jumped under the covers. ChiChi thought this might be her chance, she was so horny, Kami knows it had been a long time since her and Goku had made love, and she seemed to need him bad.
She put on a silky blue nightie and jumped in bed, and then she leaned up on her elbow, facing him and leaned down to kiss him. Just as she did this Goku said..."ChiChi, what is with you lately, your turning into a nympho."
ChiChi only looked shocked and hurt and opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out, she felt a lump in her throat and tears began to run down her face. Goku looked at her and sighed..."ChiChi, don't you understand that I have been training a lot lately and my back is killing me."
"You aren't interested in me anymore." She said sadly. "What happened? Have we been married too long and you don't find me attractive anymore?" she asked with tears running down her face.
"You are so selfish, I can't even be in pain." "FINE" Goku yelled and ripped her nightie off her and quickly removed his boxers. He then proceeded to jump on top of her and pulled her legs over his shoulders, as he entered her roughly.
ChiChi couldn't believe it; Goku had never been this rough with her before. He was slamming into her so hard, she could feel pressure in her abdomen and she wanted it to end. He was being so mean, never kissing her and never touching her, only gripping her hips and slamming himself into her. He finished quickly and got off her and walked into the bathroom, then returned and jumped in bed and turned his back to her. ChiChi still lay in shock, tears running down her face as she doubled over in pain.
What had happened to her marriage, she loved Goku so much, she just wanted him to love her back, like he used to. She soon quietly cried herself to sleep.

When she woke the next morning, Goku was already up and in the shower. She hurried and made her way to the kitchen to make him breakfast. Soon, he entered the kitchen and sat down to eat.
"Goku, we really need to talk" ChiChi said softly. He only looked at her. "Goku, please tell me what is wrong so I can fix it." "I love you so much, but you don't show me any affection anymore."
"What do you call last night." He spat.
ChiChi could feel herself losing her temper..."Last night, you fucked me." She stated. "You didn't make love to me, you only fucked me, that's not affection." She said glaring at him.
"Well, you liked it."
"No, I didn't." "I want you to make love to me like you used to." "Is there someone else?" She asked, feeling tears slide down her face again.
"NO!" "Why is it if I don't have sex with you every night you think I'm screwing around?"
"I don't want sex every night." ChiChi retorted.
"Yes you do, you have been acting like a nympho"
That was it, that comment caused ChiChi to start to cry uncontrollably. Goku just looked at her disgusted "I'm going to go train with Piccolo." And he left.

For the next few weeks, ChiChi didn't speak to Goku very much. She found herself lost in her own fantasies; it was all she could do to stop herself from feeling old and ugly. So, she spent most of her days and nights reading romance stories and dreaming of her night in shining armor making passionate love to her, but he never had a face, only a muscular body. She was beginning to think she was losing her mind, spending so much time lost in her fantasies, but at least it made her happy. That was until reality hit her and she would find herself lying next to a handsome man, who would never touch her. As time passed she grew more and more lonely and found herself resorting to the use of toys to please her. She disguised herself one day and went into an adult store to buy a few things that she hoped would fulfill her aching need. She kept them well hidden in her nightstand, hoping Goku would never find them. She still spent many nights crying herself to sleep from loneliness and longed to be touched by a man. Whenever she escaped to her fantasy world and pleased herself, she would always feel worse when she finally came back to reality.

As more time passed, ChiChi found herself going through a very deep depression and was starting to think about ending her life, the only thing stopping her was Gohan. Who would take care of her son? One day ChiChi went over to Bulma's for a visit. Bulma could tell something was wrong with ChiChi and had been for sometime, but never asked her, for fear of ChiChi yelling at her. But, this time ChiChi seemed more upset than usual.
"ChiChi, what is wrong? I know something is bothering you. You know I would gladly help you." Bulma said softly.
"Bulma, does Vegeta still...um...treat you....I mean.....make love to you....um....the way he used to?"
Bulma laughed and said "To tell you the truth, he is so damn horny all the time, I get practically no rest." "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, I was just wondering." ChiChi said while hanging her head.
"Is Goku treating you differently?" Bulma asked.
"Well, he doesn't really spend much time with me anymore. But, I can understand, I know he has been training a lot and well he has always been more interested in fighting. I don't know why I have been feeling so different lately." ChiChi said as she stared off into space.
Just then Vegeta walked into the room with his usual smirk on his face.
"Hey, where's my lunch woman?" he asked Bulma
"Oh, Vegeta I swear if it isn't food you are demanding, its sex." Bulma said grinning.
Vegeta just glared at her..."Humph!"
She quickly popped a frozen dinner in the microwave. Vegeta hissed..."Why can't you take some lessons from Kakkarott's mate and learn how to cook?"
"Shut up, Vegeta." Bulma spat..."or you can make your own lunch."
Vegeta only crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, then looked over at ChiChi and grinned.
*What is with him?* ChiChi thought as she looked at him puzzled.
"Well, I should be going." ChiChi said as she got up to leave.
As she walked out the door, she noticed Vegeta staring at her and it made her feel nervous, but she didn't know why.

Over the next few days, the conversation she had with Bulma was running through her mind and she started feeling lonelier than ever. She felt herself envying Bulma. She began to think that her life was never going to get any better. The loneliness was just too much, she couldn't bare it anymore. She was home alone, Goku and Gohan were training with Piccolo and she was no longer worried about Gohan. She knew he could survive without her. She walked slowly up to her bathroom. She felt like she was in a daze and somehow out of touch with the world around her. She stripped off her clothes and started to fill the tub with water. Then she went downstairs to the liquor cabinet and poured herself a glass of wine. She then returned to the bathroom and turned off the water and stepped in the tub and sat down, drinking her wine, while she stared off into space. When she finished her wine, she smashed the glass on the outside of the tub and picked up a large piece of glass, gripping it in her hand, she placed to her wrist and watched as blood ran down her hand, but strangely didn't feel any pain, she then began to slice her other wrist, when she was suddenly jerked from her daze as she heard the door bell ring.