Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Patience ❯ Hindrance ( Chapter 5 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: pixelgoddess 
Goku's pregnant-will it mean the end of his relationship with Vegeta?
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Shounen / Angst / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 09.12.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.4K | Visits: 2.0K | Status: Completed
Goku's pregnant-will it mean the end of his relationship with Vegeta?
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Shounen / Angst / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 09.12.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.4K | Visits: 2.0K | Status: Completed
Patience
By Pixelgoddess
Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn’t willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?
This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first ‘Why did you stop?’, then ‘I’ve been waiting a long time for this’ and ‘You wouldn’t dare.’ Now look what has happened – it’s taken on a life of its own.
Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything but Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?
Warnings – This is me you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.
A disclaimer too? *sighs* Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.
Chapter 5 - Hindrance
“What’s wrong? Damn it, Goku, I can’t believe let this arrogant bastard get you pregnant.”
“You asshole,” Vegeta hissed as he felt the sudden tension in Kakarott’s body.
“Ve-Vegeta?” Kakarott whispered, drawing back and staring at him in shock. “Is it—?” he began before interrupting himself and passing his hand over his abdomen. “It is,” he choked out before Vegeta could respond.
Kakarott suddenly pushed himself off the bed, and looked at Piccolo and Vegeta accusingly. “I can’t believe you--,” he said before covering his mouth and running from the room
“Goku!” “Kakarott!”
Dende moved to block them from leaving as the sound of Kakarott vomiting reached their ears. “Both of you stay here,” he commanded. “You’ve caused enough trouble. I’ll take care of Goku. And frankly Piccolo,” he said over his shoulder as he left the room, “I’m ashamed of how you treated him. Is that anyway to talk to a friend?”
“I should kill you,” Vegeta snarled as the Guardian left the room. “The only reason you are still alive is because it would bother Kakarott.” He could hear the distraught voice of the younger Saiyan; even if he couldn’t understand what was being said it was obvious he was upset.
“Goku should never have gotten involved with you,” Piccolo said under his breath.
“Jealous? Get over it. You had plenty of time to try to get Kakarott to have sex with you.”
“I’m asexual, you ass. I’m not going to have sex with anyone.”
“Your loss,” Vegeta smirked.
“Oh, please.” Piccolo shook his head in disgust. “Honestly, Vegeta! I know while you’ve been on earth you’ve been with others besides Bulma. How can you treat him like that? Did you consider it a challenge to seduce Goku? Add him to the list? You know how he is.”
“They were just…” Just humans, he almost said. Bulma was special, but the others were good for nothing but a quick fuck; a few minutes of warmth and contact – an outlet, nothing more. He shook his head as he realized it was pointless trying to explain it to someone who had never experienced that release. “You wouldn’t understand.”
He knew why the Namek was angry with him – hell, he was angry with himself. He should have been more careful. Why didn’t he consider the possibility of this happening?
“Did you do this deliberately? Did you go after him just so you could get him pregnant? Did you?” Piccolo demanded, moving closer, practically towering over him in his fury.
“No!” Vegeta snapped, glaring back at him.
“He’s your friend!” Piccolo continued, ignoring his denial, “How can you manipulate him like this – using him just so you can have another Saiyan to lord over? He cares about you!”
Vegeta sighed and leaned back on the bed, all fight suddenly drained from him at the words. He had already asked himself the same questions. “I didn’t manipulate Kakarott in this. I didn’t know he could get pregnant,” he muttered. At the moment he wanted nothing more than to go to Kakarott, but somehow he knew this was not the right time. He could feel his ki stabilizing – now that Kakarott knew what was happening to him he must be getting control over his energy again.
“How could you not know?” Piccolo asked, disbelief obvious.
“You don’t understand – this wasn’t common. I thought all the tasan – bearing males - were dead…destroyed with Vegeta-sei. It should have been detected at birth– Kakarott would never have been allowed off-planet.” In a way, the fact it had been missed was a miracle – like so much associated with Kakarott.
Piccolo frowned, some of his anger fading and stepped back to lean against the wall. “Say I believe you. Bearing males are rare – Kami knew of only two races – neither of them Saiyan. So how did this happen? ”
Vegeta shrugged. He had been so young when his home was destroyed – there was a limit to what he knew. “Tasan is a mutation. I think it was tied to some recessive genes. It was occurring often enough to be detectable, but not to predict ahead of time. The Tuffles used to do genetic manipulation on Saiyans – one of the reasons we destroyed them. We lost a lot of their research when that happened so we never knew if this was deliberate or a side-effect.”
He fell silent trying to remember the little he knew about tasans. By the time he was old enough to study the science behind it, the point was moot; they were all gone and he was struggling just to survive himself. He had learned the mutation wasn’t complete, but was valued because the resulting child was usually Elite in their power. The growing infant’s ki would put occasional huge, unexpected drains on the tasan’s ki; the most likely reason Kakarott passed out. Now that Kakarott knew, he could monitor his own ki, making a recurrence less likely, but not impossible. Vegeta shuddered to himself as he visualized what would have happened if Kakarott’s ki had failed him in flight. If the only difficulty was maintaining ki, there would be no issue – Vegeta could provide enough ki for the three of them. No…another huge hurdle would be the problem of delivering the child; the male Saiyan body hadn’t adapted for natural childbirth. In order to have this baby, Kakarott would have to have surgery – on a planet where males did not have children, making him a medical curiosity. There were very good reasons for tasans to remain close to home, the primary reason being their own safety.
“We need to learn more about tasans. I don’t remember enough to know what to expect. I do know he can’t do this alone,” he finally said. “If Kakarott won’t let me—.” He shook his head just barely hiding his despair. Everything had gone wrong; he had been so comfortable with Kakarott, but now an unknown genetic anomaly could cause him to lose everything he had come to value. “If he won’t accept it from me you are going to have to help him through this.”
Piccolo looked down at the ground, not meeting his eyes as he asked, “Goku didn’t know he was pregnant, did he?”
Vegeta shook his head, “No. I just realized it myself a few days ago – I was going to tell him today.” He growled angrily, “But now you’ve fucked that up. He’s going to think I deliberately hid the truth from him. He might never forgive me for this.”
Piccolo sighed, “I’m sorry, Vegeta. I really thought—.”
“You thought wrong. I wasn’t trying to hurt him,” he scowled.
“What are you going to do now? Are you going to stay with him?”
“I want to, but…” He sighed; he might want to, but if Kakarott shared Piccolo’s opinion of his motives, there was probably little chance of that. “It’s up to him, isn’t it?”
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Vegeta flew towards Kakarott’s ki, trying to decide what to say – what to do. He’d never once considered this possibility, and now that he was faced with it he found it difficult to know how to handle it. He wasn’t even sure…if he had known Kakarott could become pregnant would he have…? No. He had changed. Maybe…he would have when he first arrived on this planet. He couldn’t lie to himself – if he had known then he would have found a way to tie Kakarott to him, convincing him to bear an entire pack, regardless of the consequences. A full blooded Saiyan – a child of two Super Saiyans… It wasn’t feasible to rebuild his race, but the possibilities…
He shook his head in denial. No. He had come to value Kakarott too much to think of him that way. Even from this distance he could feel the anger – the confusion…the hurt in Kakarott’s ki. Did he blame Vegeta for this? He wanted to defend himself; he didn’t know. How could he have?
When he finally located the younger Saiyan he wasn’t totally surprised to find he was close enough to see the waterfall where the Namek frequently meditated. He had been surprised to realize just how much Piccolo knew about their ‘relationship’. What else had Kakarott told him?
He landed some distance away and hesitated. Kakarott was sitting on the ground, head bowed, rubbing his stomach. Vegeta frowned; sure he was going to lose the comfort of that warm Saiyan body next to his.
“Kakarott,” he said, announcing his presence. Not sure of what to do, he just walked closer. The other Saiyan didn’t acknowledge him for several long minutes, just staring at the waterfall.
“Did you know this would happen?” Kakarott finally asked, his voice soft.
Vegeta sat on the ground beside him, “No. I wouldn’t have hidden this from you.”
Kakarott was silent again, plucking absently at the grass next to him. “Can you get pregnant too?”
He sighed and shook his head, “No. Tasan was a relatively rare mutation. I don’t know why it wasn’t detected – they were supposed to test all newborns for it.” Kakarott remained quiet, refusing to look at him as Vegeta told him what little he knew. He couldn’t tell if it was what Kakarott needed or even wanted to hear.
“They have to cut me open?” Kakarott whispered, horrified.
Vegeta lowered his head. He knew Kakarott’s fear of needles – he had teased him about it often enough. That alone might make him unwilling to allow this pregnancy to continue; better a small surgery now than a major operation later. “Yes.”
“Oh,” he said softly.
Kakarott didn’t say anything else for long seconds, fingertips absently tracing over his stomach. “I’m pregnant,” he finally said, swallowing hard at the word. “I’m really pregnant. I shouldn’t even be alive; I should have died with Vegeta-sei because of this. That’s a good thing, right? A miracle. So why don’t I know how to feel…?”
“Kakarott… you don’t have to…” he began, trying to ignore the voice screaming ‘my blood, my heir’ in his head.
“Don’t you want it?” Kakarott asked in disbelief.
“I wouldn’t force you to go through with this.” He couldn’t demand the younger Saiyan go through this, no matter how much he wanted to. “I would understand,” he continued softly. He had waited so long for Kakarott - the perfect partner- and now he was suddenly afraid he could lose him; would they ever be able to forgive each other for this?
Kakarott stared at him in shock. “Vegeta…it’s a full-blooded Saiyan – our child. I would never…” he trailed off, turning away to study the grass by his feet. “I just don’t know how I can do this alone,” he whispered. “I know how hard it was for Chichi, and I just…”
Vegeta felt an ache inside; why didn’t Kakarott ever let him stay? “Kakarott, I— You don’t have to do this alone; you can’t. I will… Piccolo…”
“Piccolo? He’s my friend, but he’s not…he’s not you.” The younger Saiyan shook his head in sadness, “What’s happening Vegeta? The first time I kissed you – it was so hard to do – I was terrified you would be angry…but for so long I had wanted to… and then you-.”
He understood that fear – to an extent he had experienced it himself. But in the time since that concern didn’t seem to fade – instead he felt increasingly frustrated. His joy at finally getting to touch Kakarott like that was overshadowed by the realization he wasn’t getting all of him; the sex was great, but… “I seduced you.”
Kakarott nodded, silent again. Vegeta watched the side of his face, trying to interpret the expressions, dreading what might be said next. His patience was at the limit; he wanted to demand instant answers, but surprised himself when he hesitated for Kakarott’s sake. He didn’t want to drive the younger Saiyan away, but he needed to know. Was this the end of their friendship? Would he lose his… his partner because of this?
“Is that all I am?” Kakarott asked, voice barely above a whisper. “One of your conquests? Just another…fuck?” His voice rose, but he refused to look at Vegeta. “What am I to you? What are we doing? Is it just sex?”
Vegeta stared at him, astounded, suddenly unsure how to respond, hearing Piccolo’s fears in Kakarott’s words. For some reason he couldn’t summon anger at the accusation, only regret. If all he wanted was sex, he would have seduced him long ago. He was glad now he hadn’t done that; if he had gone after Kakarott back when he first noticed him, back before the androids arrived, it would have been out of anger. Vegeta would have done everything possible to hurt him, using things he had learned to destroy Kakarott. If that had happened, he’d have no chance of having the companionship he had now. But he couldn’t admit that.
He knew – he knew if he answered wrong Kakarott would never understand. “Is that what you want?” he asked, dreading the answer; he had changed over the years, and he suddenly realized he wanted much more. Couldn’t Kakarott see that? Didn’t he know how much Vegeta hated leaving his side at the end of the day?
Kakarott turned on him, obviously disappointed. “How can you ask that? Don’t you know? Can’t you see?” He turned away again and beat a frustrated fist on the ground. “I can’t go on like this Vegeta,” he continued in a soft voice. “It hurts too much. I love you.”
Vegeta just barely managed to hide his startled intake of breath as Kakarott looked at him, dark eyes unable to hide the pain. “I’ve loved you for years; I would do anything for you.” He swallowed hard. “Anything but stay with you like this, Vegeta. I love you, but I can’t let myself just be used by you. If all we are doing is fucking, then I can’t do this anymore.”
He experienced a painful flash of insight. This is what Kakarott was keeping from him. How could he have been so blind? Why hadn’t Kakarott – normally so open – said something before this? It would have made things so much easier. What should he tell him? It was true he always wanted to be near the younger Saiyan, and he could no longer deny how attached he was – but--?
“Love?” he breathed in disbelief, completely thrown by the unexpected confession.
Vegeta didn’t doubt Kakarott was his friend – or had been before this day had started. But he was Saiyan, not human, and some part of Vegeta never expected to hear this human emotion directed at a fellow Saiyan. He knew it wasn’t Kakarott’s fault for not understanding, but Vegeta just couldn’t make himself simplify something so complex and Saiyan with a weak human word.
Love? He had heard “I love you” and “I love chocolate” spoken with the same passion – he might speak the language but he didn’t understand how humans allowed the word to become so meaningless. Bulma had used the term often enough with him – but she had also ‘loved’ her car, a favorite TV show, or a new dress.
Apparently he took too long to respond, because Kakarott got to his feet. “That’s okay, Vegeta. I knew you didn’t feel the same – I just wanted—.”
“Kakarott--” he began, rising to his feet as well. He couldn’t let the other man leave – not like this. “Wait.”
At times like this he wished Kakarott had grown up with other Saiyans. It was difficult – nearly impossible, he mused – to explain concepts Vegeta took for granted. He wouldn’t have to explain himself to someone who grew up Saiyan – the language of scents and tails would have communicated so much more than these human words could. If they still had their tails, maybe he would have known how Kakarott felt, but without them he was blind to many things. He knew this confusion would never have happened with someone like Radditz. He sighed in frustration. ‘Love’ wasn’t right, but Kakarott knew no others and Vegeta couldn’t make himself use such an empty term. He just didn’t know how he could make Kakarott see that.
“It’s alright,” Kakarott said sadly, lifting his fingers towards his forehead, “we’re still friends; we can spar… I’m glad I had the chance to get close to you. I liked ma- having sex with you. I don’t regret it; I just wish--”
“Please stay,” he said, capturing Kakarott’s wrist, not at all happy with the realization what he had seen as perfection was actually hurting Kakarott in ways he didn’t really understand. He knew he had hurt Bulma like this even if he didn’t mean to, and now he was doing the same thing all over again. It was obvious to him now - he couldn’t remain silent on this. He had to tell Kakarott what he meant to him. His patience – his hesitation – had become more of a hindrance than a help.
He swallowed and tried to think of how to explain. He wasn’t like Kakarott – he couldn’t just blurt out all of his emotions. Anger, hatred – yes. They just poured out and drowned whoever was near. But this?
“Do you remember the times we’ve fought side-by-side – how perfectly we fit? When we spar--” He almost smiled to himself as he recalled the last time they had sparred only a few days ago, before this mess started. They had been so perfectly in sync, knowing exactly how the other was going to move and react, that neither managed to strike a single blow. Instead, it turned in to something like a perfectly choreographed dance, with punches and kicks brushing by with millimeters to spare.
He let his thumb rub the inside of Kakarott’s wrist, trying to be gentle, willing him to understand. The younger Saiyan was empathic – maybe he could hear what Vegeta couldn’t say. “Do you remember when we fought Buu – when we joined our attacks together to fight him? Even though the fusion had ended, I could still feel you. Do you remember?” He still remembered the perfection of that moment – even now he would wake up in the middle of the night in joy at the memory before realizing it was just a dream and knowing the pain of loss and regret at losing that feeling. Maybe that was one of the reasons he stayed as close to Kakarott as possible – because he hoped to experience that again.
“Yes,” Kakarott said hesitantly, “But that’s fighting – sparring. There has to be more.”
“There is,” he protested quickly before snapping his mouth shut quickly. Why couldn’t he just say it? Tell Kakarott he ‘loved’ him – make him happy. He knew why – because it wasn’t true – they were Saiyan and he meant more to him than any human word could express. And Saiyans didn’t say it. “That…partnership…doesn’t happen just when we fight. Haven’t you felt it? How we…?” He was wrong – he couldn’t tell Kakarott and he couldn’t make him stay. The chasm of language was too great.
“Vegeta…” he said slowly, “are you trying to say you love me?”
“That’s a human term, Kakarott – and we are not humans.”
“I--”
“You are Saiyan, Kakarott. You may have been raised by humans, but I know you are Saiyan. I’ve seen it, felt it, scented it…” He released Kakarott’s wrist and closed his eyes. All he had to do was say that human word and Kakarott would be satisfied – but as much as Kakarott would not accept ‘just sex’ he could not accept ‘just love’. He meant more to Vegeta than that.
“Vegeta?” Kakarott said softly, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“I can’t just use a word to make you stay,” he finally said. “I hadn’t realized how much I needed you before I realized I could lose you.”
“You won’t lose me, Vegeta.”
“Won’t I? Kakarott – you’re Saiyan – I just can’t…” He groaned in frustration. Why was this so difficult?
“Shhhh…” Kakarott said softly, fingertips brushing over his cheek. “I understand. It’s not something we say is it?”
For an instant he felt a thrill of pride – it was rare for Kakarott to acknowledge who he was. “We don’t have to – we know. Love isn’t how Saiyans…” he whispered.
“It’s okay Vegeta – you don’t have to say it. You’ve been my friend for a long time and I was happy to be your lover. I’ve never shared so much with anyone before. I’m glad I mean something special to you.” Kakarott hesitated, unsure for a moment, “I do, don’t I?”
“You challenge me – infuriate me – confuse me – but mostly, you make me happy. I…need you.” He almost said Kakarott would need him as well if he decided to keep the baby, but he didn’t want to force him to decide that way.
Kakarott wrapped his arms around him, drawing him closer. Vegeta let himself return the hold, enjoying the warmth and the steady beating of Kakarott’s heart.
“Vegeta,” he said, nuzzling his hair, “I needed you long before I got pregnant. That’s just a bonus. I was upset because I got scared – I thought you would leave me because of it. I knew I cared about you, but I wasn’t sure then how you felt about me. Finding out I was going to have a baby made all of those fears real.”
Kakarott smiled and kissed him quickly, not giving him a chance to respond. “But Vegeta – I was raised by humans – taught to say ‘I love you’. It’s all I know. You’ll have to teach me how Saiyans behave when they are a couple. Until then, I’m going to have to keep telling you. You don’t have to say anything – just stay with me and our baby and I will know how you feel.”
“You’re keeping the baby?” Vegeta asked, thrilled but not willing to show it yet.
“Of course I am – there was never any question. But Vegeta…will you do something for me? Please?”
Vegeta nodded, “If I can.”
“Stop leaving every night?”
Vegeta looked at him in surprise, “I never wanted to leave at all. You never asked me, so I thought you didn’t want me to stay.”
Kakarott suddenly laughed and held him tighter. “We are going to have to work on our communication, aren’t we? I think we’ve both wanted the same thing all along.” He pressed their lips together, and Vegeta practically purred in happiness at the familiar taste as their tongues teased each other. When they separated, Kakarott stared at him with an intensity that made Vegeta shiver. “Vegeta,” he whispered, “Stay with me. Never leave.”
By Pixelgoddess
Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn’t willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?
This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first ‘Why did you stop?’, then ‘I’ve been waiting a long time for this’ and ‘You wouldn’t dare.’ Now look what has happened – it’s taken on a life of its own.
Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything but Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?
Warnings – This is me you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.
A disclaimer too? *sighs* Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.
Chapter 5 - Hindrance
“What’s wrong? Damn it, Goku, I can’t believe let this arrogant bastard get you pregnant.”
“You asshole,” Vegeta hissed as he felt the sudden tension in Kakarott’s body.
“Ve-Vegeta?” Kakarott whispered, drawing back and staring at him in shock. “Is it—?” he began before interrupting himself and passing his hand over his abdomen. “It is,” he choked out before Vegeta could respond.
Kakarott suddenly pushed himself off the bed, and looked at Piccolo and Vegeta accusingly. “I can’t believe you--,” he said before covering his mouth and running from the room
“Goku!” “Kakarott!”
Dende moved to block them from leaving as the sound of Kakarott vomiting reached their ears. “Both of you stay here,” he commanded. “You’ve caused enough trouble. I’ll take care of Goku. And frankly Piccolo,” he said over his shoulder as he left the room, “I’m ashamed of how you treated him. Is that anyway to talk to a friend?”
“I should kill you,” Vegeta snarled as the Guardian left the room. “The only reason you are still alive is because it would bother Kakarott.” He could hear the distraught voice of the younger Saiyan; even if he couldn’t understand what was being said it was obvious he was upset.
“Goku should never have gotten involved with you,” Piccolo said under his breath.
“Jealous? Get over it. You had plenty of time to try to get Kakarott to have sex with you.”
“I’m asexual, you ass. I’m not going to have sex with anyone.”
“Your loss,” Vegeta smirked.
“Oh, please.” Piccolo shook his head in disgust. “Honestly, Vegeta! I know while you’ve been on earth you’ve been with others besides Bulma. How can you treat him like that? Did you consider it a challenge to seduce Goku? Add him to the list? You know how he is.”
“They were just…” Just humans, he almost said. Bulma was special, but the others were good for nothing but a quick fuck; a few minutes of warmth and contact – an outlet, nothing more. He shook his head as he realized it was pointless trying to explain it to someone who had never experienced that release. “You wouldn’t understand.”
He knew why the Namek was angry with him – hell, he was angry with himself. He should have been more careful. Why didn’t he consider the possibility of this happening?
“Did you do this deliberately? Did you go after him just so you could get him pregnant? Did you?” Piccolo demanded, moving closer, practically towering over him in his fury.
“No!” Vegeta snapped, glaring back at him.
“He’s your friend!” Piccolo continued, ignoring his denial, “How can you manipulate him like this – using him just so you can have another Saiyan to lord over? He cares about you!”
Vegeta sighed and leaned back on the bed, all fight suddenly drained from him at the words. He had already asked himself the same questions. “I didn’t manipulate Kakarott in this. I didn’t know he could get pregnant,” he muttered. At the moment he wanted nothing more than to go to Kakarott, but somehow he knew this was not the right time. He could feel his ki stabilizing – now that Kakarott knew what was happening to him he must be getting control over his energy again.
“How could you not know?” Piccolo asked, disbelief obvious.
“You don’t understand – this wasn’t common. I thought all the tasan – bearing males - were dead…destroyed with Vegeta-sei. It should have been detected at birth– Kakarott would never have been allowed off-planet.” In a way, the fact it had been missed was a miracle – like so much associated with Kakarott.
Piccolo frowned, some of his anger fading and stepped back to lean against the wall. “Say I believe you. Bearing males are rare – Kami knew of only two races – neither of them Saiyan. So how did this happen? ”
Vegeta shrugged. He had been so young when his home was destroyed – there was a limit to what he knew. “Tasan is a mutation. I think it was tied to some recessive genes. It was occurring often enough to be detectable, but not to predict ahead of time. The Tuffles used to do genetic manipulation on Saiyans – one of the reasons we destroyed them. We lost a lot of their research when that happened so we never knew if this was deliberate or a side-effect.”
He fell silent trying to remember the little he knew about tasans. By the time he was old enough to study the science behind it, the point was moot; they were all gone and he was struggling just to survive himself. He had learned the mutation wasn’t complete, but was valued because the resulting child was usually Elite in their power. The growing infant’s ki would put occasional huge, unexpected drains on the tasan’s ki; the most likely reason Kakarott passed out. Now that Kakarott knew, he could monitor his own ki, making a recurrence less likely, but not impossible. Vegeta shuddered to himself as he visualized what would have happened if Kakarott’s ki had failed him in flight. If the only difficulty was maintaining ki, there would be no issue – Vegeta could provide enough ki for the three of them. No…another huge hurdle would be the problem of delivering the child; the male Saiyan body hadn’t adapted for natural childbirth. In order to have this baby, Kakarott would have to have surgery – on a planet where males did not have children, making him a medical curiosity. There were very good reasons for tasans to remain close to home, the primary reason being their own safety.
“We need to learn more about tasans. I don’t remember enough to know what to expect. I do know he can’t do this alone,” he finally said. “If Kakarott won’t let me—.” He shook his head just barely hiding his despair. Everything had gone wrong; he had been so comfortable with Kakarott, but now an unknown genetic anomaly could cause him to lose everything he had come to value. “If he won’t accept it from me you are going to have to help him through this.”
Piccolo looked down at the ground, not meeting his eyes as he asked, “Goku didn’t know he was pregnant, did he?”
Vegeta shook his head, “No. I just realized it myself a few days ago – I was going to tell him today.” He growled angrily, “But now you’ve fucked that up. He’s going to think I deliberately hid the truth from him. He might never forgive me for this.”
Piccolo sighed, “I’m sorry, Vegeta. I really thought—.”
“You thought wrong. I wasn’t trying to hurt him,” he scowled.
“What are you going to do now? Are you going to stay with him?”
“I want to, but…” He sighed; he might want to, but if Kakarott shared Piccolo’s opinion of his motives, there was probably little chance of that. “It’s up to him, isn’t it?”
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Vegeta flew towards Kakarott’s ki, trying to decide what to say – what to do. He’d never once considered this possibility, and now that he was faced with it he found it difficult to know how to handle it. He wasn’t even sure…if he had known Kakarott could become pregnant would he have…? No. He had changed. Maybe…he would have when he first arrived on this planet. He couldn’t lie to himself – if he had known then he would have found a way to tie Kakarott to him, convincing him to bear an entire pack, regardless of the consequences. A full blooded Saiyan – a child of two Super Saiyans… It wasn’t feasible to rebuild his race, but the possibilities…
He shook his head in denial. No. He had come to value Kakarott too much to think of him that way. Even from this distance he could feel the anger – the confusion…the hurt in Kakarott’s ki. Did he blame Vegeta for this? He wanted to defend himself; he didn’t know. How could he have?
When he finally located the younger Saiyan he wasn’t totally surprised to find he was close enough to see the waterfall where the Namek frequently meditated. He had been surprised to realize just how much Piccolo knew about their ‘relationship’. What else had Kakarott told him?
He landed some distance away and hesitated. Kakarott was sitting on the ground, head bowed, rubbing his stomach. Vegeta frowned; sure he was going to lose the comfort of that warm Saiyan body next to his.
“Kakarott,” he said, announcing his presence. Not sure of what to do, he just walked closer. The other Saiyan didn’t acknowledge him for several long minutes, just staring at the waterfall.
“Did you know this would happen?” Kakarott finally asked, his voice soft.
Vegeta sat on the ground beside him, “No. I wouldn’t have hidden this from you.”
Kakarott was silent again, plucking absently at the grass next to him. “Can you get pregnant too?”
He sighed and shook his head, “No. Tasan was a relatively rare mutation. I don’t know why it wasn’t detected – they were supposed to test all newborns for it.” Kakarott remained quiet, refusing to look at him as Vegeta told him what little he knew. He couldn’t tell if it was what Kakarott needed or even wanted to hear.
“They have to cut me open?” Kakarott whispered, horrified.
Vegeta lowered his head. He knew Kakarott’s fear of needles – he had teased him about it often enough. That alone might make him unwilling to allow this pregnancy to continue; better a small surgery now than a major operation later. “Yes.”
“Oh,” he said softly.
Kakarott didn’t say anything else for long seconds, fingertips absently tracing over his stomach. “I’m pregnant,” he finally said, swallowing hard at the word. “I’m really pregnant. I shouldn’t even be alive; I should have died with Vegeta-sei because of this. That’s a good thing, right? A miracle. So why don’t I know how to feel…?”
“Kakarott… you don’t have to…” he began, trying to ignore the voice screaming ‘my blood, my heir’ in his head.
“Don’t you want it?” Kakarott asked in disbelief.
“I wouldn’t force you to go through with this.” He couldn’t demand the younger Saiyan go through this, no matter how much he wanted to. “I would understand,” he continued softly. He had waited so long for Kakarott - the perfect partner- and now he was suddenly afraid he could lose him; would they ever be able to forgive each other for this?
Kakarott stared at him in shock. “Vegeta…it’s a full-blooded Saiyan – our child. I would never…” he trailed off, turning away to study the grass by his feet. “I just don’t know how I can do this alone,” he whispered. “I know how hard it was for Chichi, and I just…”
Vegeta felt an ache inside; why didn’t Kakarott ever let him stay? “Kakarott, I— You don’t have to do this alone; you can’t. I will… Piccolo…”
“Piccolo? He’s my friend, but he’s not…he’s not you.” The younger Saiyan shook his head in sadness, “What’s happening Vegeta? The first time I kissed you – it was so hard to do – I was terrified you would be angry…but for so long I had wanted to… and then you-.”
He understood that fear – to an extent he had experienced it himself. But in the time since that concern didn’t seem to fade – instead he felt increasingly frustrated. His joy at finally getting to touch Kakarott like that was overshadowed by the realization he wasn’t getting all of him; the sex was great, but… “I seduced you.”
Kakarott nodded, silent again. Vegeta watched the side of his face, trying to interpret the expressions, dreading what might be said next. His patience was at the limit; he wanted to demand instant answers, but surprised himself when he hesitated for Kakarott’s sake. He didn’t want to drive the younger Saiyan away, but he needed to know. Was this the end of their friendship? Would he lose his… his partner because of this?
“Is that all I am?” Kakarott asked, voice barely above a whisper. “One of your conquests? Just another…fuck?” His voice rose, but he refused to look at Vegeta. “What am I to you? What are we doing? Is it just sex?”
Vegeta stared at him, astounded, suddenly unsure how to respond, hearing Piccolo’s fears in Kakarott’s words. For some reason he couldn’t summon anger at the accusation, only regret. If all he wanted was sex, he would have seduced him long ago. He was glad now he hadn’t done that; if he had gone after Kakarott back when he first noticed him, back before the androids arrived, it would have been out of anger. Vegeta would have done everything possible to hurt him, using things he had learned to destroy Kakarott. If that had happened, he’d have no chance of having the companionship he had now. But he couldn’t admit that.
He knew – he knew if he answered wrong Kakarott would never understand. “Is that what you want?” he asked, dreading the answer; he had changed over the years, and he suddenly realized he wanted much more. Couldn’t Kakarott see that? Didn’t he know how much Vegeta hated leaving his side at the end of the day?
Kakarott turned on him, obviously disappointed. “How can you ask that? Don’t you know? Can’t you see?” He turned away again and beat a frustrated fist on the ground. “I can’t go on like this Vegeta,” he continued in a soft voice. “It hurts too much. I love you.”
Vegeta just barely managed to hide his startled intake of breath as Kakarott looked at him, dark eyes unable to hide the pain. “I’ve loved you for years; I would do anything for you.” He swallowed hard. “Anything but stay with you like this, Vegeta. I love you, but I can’t let myself just be used by you. If all we are doing is fucking, then I can’t do this anymore.”
He experienced a painful flash of insight. This is what Kakarott was keeping from him. How could he have been so blind? Why hadn’t Kakarott – normally so open – said something before this? It would have made things so much easier. What should he tell him? It was true he always wanted to be near the younger Saiyan, and he could no longer deny how attached he was – but--?
“Love?” he breathed in disbelief, completely thrown by the unexpected confession.
Vegeta didn’t doubt Kakarott was his friend – or had been before this day had started. But he was Saiyan, not human, and some part of Vegeta never expected to hear this human emotion directed at a fellow Saiyan. He knew it wasn’t Kakarott’s fault for not understanding, but Vegeta just couldn’t make himself simplify something so complex and Saiyan with a weak human word.
Love? He had heard “I love you” and “I love chocolate” spoken with the same passion – he might speak the language but he didn’t understand how humans allowed the word to become so meaningless. Bulma had used the term often enough with him – but she had also ‘loved’ her car, a favorite TV show, or a new dress.
Apparently he took too long to respond, because Kakarott got to his feet. “That’s okay, Vegeta. I knew you didn’t feel the same – I just wanted—.”
“Kakarott--” he began, rising to his feet as well. He couldn’t let the other man leave – not like this. “Wait.”
At times like this he wished Kakarott had grown up with other Saiyans. It was difficult – nearly impossible, he mused – to explain concepts Vegeta took for granted. He wouldn’t have to explain himself to someone who grew up Saiyan – the language of scents and tails would have communicated so much more than these human words could. If they still had their tails, maybe he would have known how Kakarott felt, but without them he was blind to many things. He knew this confusion would never have happened with someone like Radditz. He sighed in frustration. ‘Love’ wasn’t right, but Kakarott knew no others and Vegeta couldn’t make himself use such an empty term. He just didn’t know how he could make Kakarott see that.
“It’s alright,” Kakarott said sadly, lifting his fingers towards his forehead, “we’re still friends; we can spar… I’m glad I had the chance to get close to you. I liked ma- having sex with you. I don’t regret it; I just wish--”
“Please stay,” he said, capturing Kakarott’s wrist, not at all happy with the realization what he had seen as perfection was actually hurting Kakarott in ways he didn’t really understand. He knew he had hurt Bulma like this even if he didn’t mean to, and now he was doing the same thing all over again. It was obvious to him now - he couldn’t remain silent on this. He had to tell Kakarott what he meant to him. His patience – his hesitation – had become more of a hindrance than a help.
He swallowed and tried to think of how to explain. He wasn’t like Kakarott – he couldn’t just blurt out all of his emotions. Anger, hatred – yes. They just poured out and drowned whoever was near. But this?
“Do you remember the times we’ve fought side-by-side – how perfectly we fit? When we spar--” He almost smiled to himself as he recalled the last time they had sparred only a few days ago, before this mess started. They had been so perfectly in sync, knowing exactly how the other was going to move and react, that neither managed to strike a single blow. Instead, it turned in to something like a perfectly choreographed dance, with punches and kicks brushing by with millimeters to spare.
He let his thumb rub the inside of Kakarott’s wrist, trying to be gentle, willing him to understand. The younger Saiyan was empathic – maybe he could hear what Vegeta couldn’t say. “Do you remember when we fought Buu – when we joined our attacks together to fight him? Even though the fusion had ended, I could still feel you. Do you remember?” He still remembered the perfection of that moment – even now he would wake up in the middle of the night in joy at the memory before realizing it was just a dream and knowing the pain of loss and regret at losing that feeling. Maybe that was one of the reasons he stayed as close to Kakarott as possible – because he hoped to experience that again.
“Yes,” Kakarott said hesitantly, “But that’s fighting – sparring. There has to be more.”
“There is,” he protested quickly before snapping his mouth shut quickly. Why couldn’t he just say it? Tell Kakarott he ‘loved’ him – make him happy. He knew why – because it wasn’t true – they were Saiyan and he meant more to him than any human word could express. And Saiyans didn’t say it. “That…partnership…doesn’t happen just when we fight. Haven’t you felt it? How we…?” He was wrong – he couldn’t tell Kakarott and he couldn’t make him stay. The chasm of language was too great.
“Vegeta…” he said slowly, “are you trying to say you love me?”
“That’s a human term, Kakarott – and we are not humans.”
“I--”
“You are Saiyan, Kakarott. You may have been raised by humans, but I know you are Saiyan. I’ve seen it, felt it, scented it…” He released Kakarott’s wrist and closed his eyes. All he had to do was say that human word and Kakarott would be satisfied – but as much as Kakarott would not accept ‘just sex’ he could not accept ‘just love’. He meant more to Vegeta than that.
“Vegeta?” Kakarott said softly, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“I can’t just use a word to make you stay,” he finally said. “I hadn’t realized how much I needed you before I realized I could lose you.”
“You won’t lose me, Vegeta.”
“Won’t I? Kakarott – you’re Saiyan – I just can’t…” He groaned in frustration. Why was this so difficult?
“Shhhh…” Kakarott said softly, fingertips brushing over his cheek. “I understand. It’s not something we say is it?”
For an instant he felt a thrill of pride – it was rare for Kakarott to acknowledge who he was. “We don’t have to – we know. Love isn’t how Saiyans…” he whispered.
“It’s okay Vegeta – you don’t have to say it. You’ve been my friend for a long time and I was happy to be your lover. I’ve never shared so much with anyone before. I’m glad I mean something special to you.” Kakarott hesitated, unsure for a moment, “I do, don’t I?”
“You challenge me – infuriate me – confuse me – but mostly, you make me happy. I…need you.” He almost said Kakarott would need him as well if he decided to keep the baby, but he didn’t want to force him to decide that way.
Kakarott wrapped his arms around him, drawing him closer. Vegeta let himself return the hold, enjoying the warmth and the steady beating of Kakarott’s heart.
“Vegeta,” he said, nuzzling his hair, “I needed you long before I got pregnant. That’s just a bonus. I was upset because I got scared – I thought you would leave me because of it. I knew I cared about you, but I wasn’t sure then how you felt about me. Finding out I was going to have a baby made all of those fears real.”
Kakarott smiled and kissed him quickly, not giving him a chance to respond. “But Vegeta – I was raised by humans – taught to say ‘I love you’. It’s all I know. You’ll have to teach me how Saiyans behave when they are a couple. Until then, I’m going to have to keep telling you. You don’t have to say anything – just stay with me and our baby and I will know how you feel.”
“You’re keeping the baby?” Vegeta asked, thrilled but not willing to show it yet.
“Of course I am – there was never any question. But Vegeta…will you do something for me? Please?”
Vegeta nodded, “If I can.”
“Stop leaving every night?”
Vegeta looked at him in surprise, “I never wanted to leave at all. You never asked me, so I thought you didn’t want me to stay.”
Kakarott suddenly laughed and held him tighter. “We are going to have to work on our communication, aren’t we? I think we’ve both wanted the same thing all along.” He pressed their lips together, and Vegeta practically purred in happiness at the familiar taste as their tongues teased each other. When they separated, Kakarott stared at him with an intensity that made Vegeta shiver. “Vegeta,” he whispered, “Stay with me. Never leave.”