Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ PLAYTIME ❯ Chapter Three ( Chapter 3 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Tyrana 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.10.2006 | Updated On: 09.19.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 997 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.10.2006 | Updated On: 09.19.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 997 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclamer:I don't own Dragonball/Z/GT.
PLAYTIME
Chapter Three
When Goku went back home, he shivered. It never had seem so empty and cold before. Not even a good meal had cheered him up as always did in the past. He layed on his bed looking at the ceiling. His mind was spinning, hundreds of thoughts and images running, haunting him. He reflected, not only about the last events and the things Vegeta had told him, but about himself, his life, his family and friends.
But specially, he reflected about the prince. Never before, he had mulled over the harshness of the prince's life, the horrors he had to endure, his losses and sacrifices. But also, his strong will, his ability to survive, his capacity to rebirth (like the fenix from his ashes) as a better person, assuming the mistakes and wrongdoings of his past, getting over it. What thougts, nightmares, doubts and regrets would haunt him after all he had lost and all he had achieved.
Realizing what Vegeta had experienced, Goku was starting to understand him better. The way he was, such arrogance and coldness; why he had built those walls keeping people apart, avoiding closeness; the wrath. All those things had kept him sane through all the pain and humiliation. Now Goku understand Vegeta's attitude towards him, the awkwardness of their common past was starting to make sense. And Goku realized then, how much he really admired the prince, cause he knew that under the same circunstances, he would have never been able to survive without being broken.
But what about himself? Who was the real Goku? He never had made that kind of introspection before, but now he felt the need to search in his soul, afraid but eager to know what he would find. Was his true self the earthling he had always thought to be, or Kakarot, the saiyan?. Or was he just an outcast, who belonged nowhere, not fitting into any of those identities, lost in an undefined space between those opposite worlds? He didn't know it anymore.
He had tried to be like any ordinary human and to be accepted by the others, showing what they wanted to see: a big silly good guy on which everybody could rely to be protected from any threat, always the one to cheer them up with his constant joy and confidence. He always had leaned on his saiyan nature, his primal and almost animal instincts, in battle.
But he knew that, under the excuse of doing it for a supreme goodness, he had only cared for the thrill of the fight, for the pleasure he took from the power and strength he held in those moments, feeling the bloodlust taking control of his being, the delight in inflicting pain, the hunger of killing. Oh the beauty of it all!
He felt so free, so alive cause then he was really himself without restrictions. None of his friends would freak out or see him as a monster, but as a hero and a saviour. (Well, all of them saw what they wanted to see, masters of the self delusion. Oh, how different they were from his prince. He would never let himself be deceived like that, but would bear the crudeness of reality with such a fierce pride. How above them all his prince was!).
But when everything was over, he had to lock the inner beast, hoping it wouldn't be released until the next danger came. Because all those rigid morals he had been taught as a child had made him fearful of his feral nature, and now he was starting to see that all those were alien concepts to him, they didn't feel right. And, somehow, he had always known but never had been aware before now.
Damn, he realized that every time he had left to live the most absurd adventures, he was just running away from those restrictions, to satiate his bloodlust, to indulge on his true nature. And that has been the cause of losing his family. He couldn't stay to live a meaningless routine, he just couldn't put up with daily chores.
For crying out loud, he even had remained dead willingly for seven years, because he had felt trapped. How hadn't he noticed before? Now it was very clear. After ascending to supersaiyan he had been more in contact with his wild side, it had been so invigorating. And after that, he had been one year wandering in space. It had been so perfect. But finally, he had return and though he had found a new challenge with the inminent arrival of the androids, time had past and he wasn't looking forward to turn to the boring family life. So he had found a way of escape remaining in Otherworld.
The only regret was that he had lost his sons. Chichi, well no regrets for that. She had been a good wife and mother in spite of all their issues, but that was'nt really love. She had always dreamed to have a conventional family, a loving husband and many children. She was mother stuff more than a companion or a lover. When she met Goku, she had seen the strong and handsome knight in armour of her dreams, but after some time she had realized that his Goku really was an untamable and wild creature who needed some other challenges that those supplied by family life.
So she had become a very bitter and frustrated harpy, (as Vegeta liked to address her ) and all the hell had broken loose. All the fighting, her acrid remarks, harsh words, verbal abuse and the beating (with the damned frying pan from hell) until it became unbearable. When she finally became aware of all the suffering she was inflicting to both of them and even their children, she was surprisingly reasonable and asked forgiveness to her husband and sons, and she agreed to get a divorce. Both decided that the best for the children was staying with her.
And now this new side of his saiyan heritage, those five crazy days of wild sex. The previous days, he had been restless , feeling his body itching and burning. A frustrating sensation of needing something without knowing what it was. The pain and emptiness of unfulfilled desire. And then the bliss, feeling an overwhelming force dominating him. Strange, because he had always had a strong will, and was a free spirit unwilling of being subdued. But submitting to this unstopable power had felt so right. He had felt for the first time in his life that he was where he belonged, with Vegeta. But no, he couldn't think those things. The prince had just taken his pleasure, had sated his lust and then had gone; there was nothing more. But he remembered vividly that there were moments in which the prince had caressed him and kissed him tenderly, saying sweet nothings, holding him and praising his beauty. Watching him sleeping. Providing him food and water, even feeding him as a mother would do with her baby. And that behaviour, so uncharacteristic from the prince was the most disturbing thing. But Goku didn't want to think about it, because those were dangerous grounds.
All of this was a big puzzle, a new challenge that Goku didn't know how to face. And this deep thinking was so surprising. He had never been the introspective type, he had always followed his heart, guided by a sudden impulse. But now, he had the necessity of meditating and reasoning things. He wondered if it was just the confusion caused by the recent events, or if Vegeta had been right when he had told him about his changes and full development. Yes, definitively he felt like a real adult right now.
PLAYTIME
Chapter Three
When Goku went back home, he shivered. It never had seem so empty and cold before. Not even a good meal had cheered him up as always did in the past. He layed on his bed looking at the ceiling. His mind was spinning, hundreds of thoughts and images running, haunting him. He reflected, not only about the last events and the things Vegeta had told him, but about himself, his life, his family and friends.
But specially, he reflected about the prince. Never before, he had mulled over the harshness of the prince's life, the horrors he had to endure, his losses and sacrifices. But also, his strong will, his ability to survive, his capacity to rebirth (like the fenix from his ashes) as a better person, assuming the mistakes and wrongdoings of his past, getting over it. What thougts, nightmares, doubts and regrets would haunt him after all he had lost and all he had achieved.
Realizing what Vegeta had experienced, Goku was starting to understand him better. The way he was, such arrogance and coldness; why he had built those walls keeping people apart, avoiding closeness; the wrath. All those things had kept him sane through all the pain and humiliation. Now Goku understand Vegeta's attitude towards him, the awkwardness of their common past was starting to make sense. And Goku realized then, how much he really admired the prince, cause he knew that under the same circunstances, he would have never been able to survive without being broken.
But what about himself? Who was the real Goku? He never had made that kind of introspection before, but now he felt the need to search in his soul, afraid but eager to know what he would find. Was his true self the earthling he had always thought to be, or Kakarot, the saiyan?. Or was he just an outcast, who belonged nowhere, not fitting into any of those identities, lost in an undefined space between those opposite worlds? He didn't know it anymore.
He had tried to be like any ordinary human and to be accepted by the others, showing what they wanted to see: a big silly good guy on which everybody could rely to be protected from any threat, always the one to cheer them up with his constant joy and confidence. He always had leaned on his saiyan nature, his primal and almost animal instincts, in battle.
But he knew that, under the excuse of doing it for a supreme goodness, he had only cared for the thrill of the fight, for the pleasure he took from the power and strength he held in those moments, feeling the bloodlust taking control of his being, the delight in inflicting pain, the hunger of killing. Oh the beauty of it all!
He felt so free, so alive cause then he was really himself without restrictions. None of his friends would freak out or see him as a monster, but as a hero and a saviour. (Well, all of them saw what they wanted to see, masters of the self delusion. Oh, how different they were from his prince. He would never let himself be deceived like that, but would bear the crudeness of reality with such a fierce pride. How above them all his prince was!).
But when everything was over, he had to lock the inner beast, hoping it wouldn't be released until the next danger came. Because all those rigid morals he had been taught as a child had made him fearful of his feral nature, and now he was starting to see that all those were alien concepts to him, they didn't feel right. And, somehow, he had always known but never had been aware before now.
Damn, he realized that every time he had left to live the most absurd adventures, he was just running away from those restrictions, to satiate his bloodlust, to indulge on his true nature. And that has been the cause of losing his family. He couldn't stay to live a meaningless routine, he just couldn't put up with daily chores.
For crying out loud, he even had remained dead willingly for seven years, because he had felt trapped. How hadn't he noticed before? Now it was very clear. After ascending to supersaiyan he had been more in contact with his wild side, it had been so invigorating. And after that, he had been one year wandering in space. It had been so perfect. But finally, he had return and though he had found a new challenge with the inminent arrival of the androids, time had past and he wasn't looking forward to turn to the boring family life. So he had found a way of escape remaining in Otherworld.
The only regret was that he had lost his sons. Chichi, well no regrets for that. She had been a good wife and mother in spite of all their issues, but that was'nt really love. She had always dreamed to have a conventional family, a loving husband and many children. She was mother stuff more than a companion or a lover. When she met Goku, she had seen the strong and handsome knight in armour of her dreams, but after some time she had realized that his Goku really was an untamable and wild creature who needed some other challenges that those supplied by family life.
So she had become a very bitter and frustrated harpy, (as Vegeta liked to address her ) and all the hell had broken loose. All the fighting, her acrid remarks, harsh words, verbal abuse and the beating (with the damned frying pan from hell) until it became unbearable. When she finally became aware of all the suffering she was inflicting to both of them and even their children, she was surprisingly reasonable and asked forgiveness to her husband and sons, and she agreed to get a divorce. Both decided that the best for the children was staying with her.
And now this new side of his saiyan heritage, those five crazy days of wild sex. The previous days, he had been restless , feeling his body itching and burning. A frustrating sensation of needing something without knowing what it was. The pain and emptiness of unfulfilled desire. And then the bliss, feeling an overwhelming force dominating him. Strange, because he had always had a strong will, and was a free spirit unwilling of being subdued. But submitting to this unstopable power had felt so right. He had felt for the first time in his life that he was where he belonged, with Vegeta. But no, he couldn't think those things. The prince had just taken his pleasure, had sated his lust and then had gone; there was nothing more. But he remembered vividly that there were moments in which the prince had caressed him and kissed him tenderly, saying sweet nothings, holding him and praising his beauty. Watching him sleeping. Providing him food and water, even feeding him as a mother would do with her baby. And that behaviour, so uncharacteristic from the prince was the most disturbing thing. But Goku didn't want to think about it, because those were dangerous grounds.
All of this was a big puzzle, a new challenge that Goku didn't know how to face. And this deep thinking was so surprising. He had never been the introspective type, he had always followed his heart, guided by a sudden impulse. But now, he had the necessity of meditating and reasoning things. He wondered if it was just the confusion caused by the recent events, or if Vegeta had been right when he had told him about his changes and full development. Yes, definitively he felt like a real adult right now.