Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Proving Straight ❯ Bloopers ( Chapter 2 )

Maayacola: So….you guys couldn't get enough of this! Oh yeah! We've brought you some of your favoooorite scenes…and made them even funnier. Believe me, we crack ourselves up. And no…we aren't fond of pink spandex…*looks around anxiously * Actually, I'm rather fond of Gohan in Pink Spandex…only one thing beats that…You know that episode when Gohan is fighting Dabura and rips his green shirt off? Oh yeah…. Wahahahahahahahahaha! So anyway…enjoy the bloopers, per say, and have a pleasant evening. Ciao. And watch your back. You never know if I'm coming to get you…Yahahahahahaha!

LadyBlue: Believe me, you DON'T want to go to sleep at night. Not when MC is loose. I learned that the hard way. (tugs desperately at chains locked on ankles) Oh yeah, for the record, I was made to do it! I swear! (snicker, pink, snicker) You know, a lot of these ideas are well . . . you'll find out when you read it. Get the hyperventilation bags ready, it's gonna be one heck of a ride. Buckle your seat belts `cause we don't claim to be sane. (No matter how much I may wish for it on Christmas. Then again, I never did get my two front teeth either. That's when I stopped believing in the red suited man. I dare not say his name, lest he find out I've been bad this year and not come down the Chimney.) Anyways, it's late, I'm tired, and this whiteout has blurred my vision. Bye! Read! I command you! And review, dranit!

Bloopers

"Shoot, I'm going to be late for my first day of High School!" he shouted, running off from his resting place. "Better kick it in to Super Saiya-jin mode," he thought and zoomed past the nearest beltway with only one thought in mind.

He was then hit by a truck.

***

Since he was the last to arrive, there was only one seat left. A kid had vomited in it.

***

"Um, you have blood on your shoes," a blond said, who happened to be sitting behind him.

"Yeah…I got hit by a truck.

(MCAN: *snort *)

(LBAN: I can't believe I'm writing this crap.)

***

"The Great Saiyaman is such a dork! Man, the only thing that could make him dorkier is if he was a gay dork!" Videl said.

Gohan breathed a sigh of relief. `Thank god Bulma talked me out of the pink spandex…'

(MCAN: Damn you, Bulma. Damn you. To eternal hell.)

(LBAN: No comment.)

***

Gohan looked over at Videl. "Videl, is there anything you want to tell me?"

Videl smirked. "My father is Hercule, and my mother was a vampire. And believe me, I want to suck your blood."

"Sounds like fun!"

***

Erasa gasped. "You killed friendly Bob! Sure, he did eat my favorite pair of shoes…and my car…and my house…well, dranit, I'm glad you killed the bastard."

***

"So, nothing short of me going out with Sharpener will prove to you that I'm gay?" Gohan asked.

***

"Your favorite color is pink?" Asked one girl.

"You're gay?" Asked another.

A third random girl walked up. "I used to be the same way…that was before the sex change."

Gohan grimaced.

***

"So, Mr. Smith…" Sharpener said to the gym teacher."Wanna go make out?"

"Oh, baaaby."

***

Videl sighed. "Why are all the cute ones queer?"

Erasa frowned. "Well, maybe they're cute because they're queer."

***

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M QUEER JUST BECAUSE MY FAVORITE COLOR IS PINK?!" Gohan cried out.

Sharpener followed. "WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M QUEER, JUST BECAUSE I AM ATTRACTED TO MEN?!"

***

As Gohan sang a rendition of `I will Survive', Vegeta walked into the gay bar.

"My turn, brat!" He pushed Gohan off stage.

"Vegeta?! What are you doing at a gay bar?!"

Ignoring him, Vegeta burst into song. "I'm an asshole!"

(MCAN: "I'm an Asshole" is copyright Dennis Leary. Yeah..it's areal song, baby!)

***

Vegeta smirked. "So Gohan, how's life out of the closet?"

"Not bad, actually…I get invited to a lot more parties."

***

"By the way, I came up for a title for my report on you!"

"Oh really?"

"Indeed. I'll call it…'Gohan, a Manly Man with a Girly Heart'."

"Oh, Videl! I'm touched!"

***

Gohan felt a telepathic link open up between himself and his father.

Dad? He thought mentally.

Yeah, Gohan, it's me. I can't talk long, but I needed to know.

Needed to know what?

If it was true. Do you really swing that way, my son?

NOOOOOO!

It runs in your mother's side of the family. Just look at the OX King.

***

"Big brother? Is it true that you're . . . a lesbian?"

"No Goten, but I will be next week!" Gohan corrected

***

"And I'll show you how to knit, and crochet, and how to paint your nails…"

Gohan sobbed into an uncaring floor.

The floor responded. "That's right, Gohan. I DON'T care….MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!"

(MCAN: For those of you who care, both of the authoress' are choking. Thank you.)

***

Erasa threw up a hand. " I've got it!" She cried out.

Sharpener looked over. "You've got what? Rabies? We knew that…You could have asked."

"I know now…I just found out last night. But hey, Sharpener…Didn't I bite you last week?"

"Well…dranit."

***

Gohan's hand clenched and unclenched. "I don't think I would feel comfortable with a bunch of men who are trying to constantly pinch my butt."

Videl waved him off. "No one would do that! Well…the guy at the door…the bouncer…the Karaoke host…my Uncle Bob…On second thought Gohan, maybe you shouldn't come."

***

Vegeta looked stunned. "You have a what?"

Smiling smugly, Gohan replied. "A girlfriend."

"Gohan…monkeys DON'T count."

"Aww…No fair."

***

"He is a she!" Gohan exclaimed.

"Oh, so when was the sex change?"

"Last Monday, actually."

***

"Hey! Light lavender is my favorite color!"

Barney appeared form nowhere. "Hey! It's my favorite too!"

Trunks sighed. "Commit me now."

***

Maayacola: Ahh…back to the same old, same old. It's been fun peeps, and don't worry…LadyBlue and I are still alive! That means more fanfics! *hears booing * Shut up! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this…uh…thing-a-ma-jig and have a pleasant nightmare filled night with haunting pictures of Vegeta in spandex…wait a second! Vegeta always wears spandex! How about Piccolo? Well, goodnight all…

^_^ \\// Love and Peace! Death and Destruction! (It's all good, Trigun fans…We all know Legato Bluesummers is the best character…) Bainess. Damn you, LB, you wrote more than me again. (=see below.)

LadyBlue: Well, five years in prison isn't that bad. (weeps in corner) Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the fic. Ah well, sent me bail. (They've got me embroidering pink hankies!) So, if this wasn't entirely what you had expected, send all hate male to this email address. maayacola@hotmail.com. Send junk mail chain letters and fan mail to . . . what the heck, send it all to the same address so MC can have a fully crammed inbox whenever she goes to check her mail! Won't that be great?! (nudges MC) Ow . . . okay, memo to self, run away at first sign of giant hammer that's pulled out of thin air. Dranit. Thai surprise for dinner again. Excuse me, I have to scrub the dirt off myself with a toothbrush now. Yes . . It does hurt, especially with the hard bristles. (I can't believe I wrote that OMG OMG OMG OMG) takes swig of whiteout.