Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Asylum Chronicles ❯ Questions? Comments? True-Life Stories?-Part Two ( Chapter 4 )

Miscellaneous Saga

The Saga where everything's screwed up...

Author's note: There is no 'Author's Note! The author's lying to you!! It's a conspiracy!!!

Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ.

P.S. This story was not written to infringe on the rights of McDonald's. Don't sue me.

The Asylum Chronicles: Chapter Four-Questions? Comments? True-Life Stories?-Part Two

Frieza goes to McDonald's on his ship and Ginyu tags along. There, they find a bird...uh, just read it!

By Queen Breeza

Frieza's ship: Status: Don't know.

Destination: Still Rabeez, but that might change...

The author is still plaguing Frieza with a messed up C. Ginyu, as well as a mysterious voice whom is believed to be God at the moment...

Luckily, Frieza has found some refuge in a McDonald's he had recently put on his ship. It even has a bird watch for the enjoyment of the people who want to see them.

Frieza: (speaking to an employee) Darn it! I don't pay you for nothing! Where's my food?!

McDonald's Employee: (tiredly) Uh, it could be a while...(suddenly, out of nowhere, an employee shows up with a Happy Meal)...or not! Enjoy you're meal, sir.

(Frieza takes his meal and goes to a table far away from C. Ginyu and sits down.)

C. Ginyu: (shouting) Hey, Lord Frieza! Why are you all the way over there? Come sit by me! ^_^

(everyone looks at Frieza)

Frieza: (nervously) *^_^ Uh, no thanks! I like this seat over here! (glares at the people who then go back to eating and talking)

C. Ginyu: ...Okay! I'll just sit wherever you sit! ^_^

Frieza: (despairingly) Yay...

(C. Ginyu sits EXTREMELY close to Frieza)

Frieza: Ginyu! (pushes C. Ginyu away) Give me room to breathe, you moron!

C. Ginyu: (quietly) Sorry...(starts stirring his ketchup with a fry)

Frieza: (starts eating his own fries, ignoring the sad look on C. Ginyu's face)

(A bird from Earth called a falcon flies on the table where Frieza and C. Ginyu are eating.)

Frieza: Shoo! (waves the bird away with his free hand) Stupid bird!

C. Ginyu: ^^ Ooo, a birdy! (tries to grab the bird)

(The bird steals a fry from Frieza's plat, plate, or whatever it's called, and flies back to the bird watch)

Frieza: Come back here and fight me! (shakes a fist at the bird) No one steals Lord Frieza's fries and gets away with it!

C. Ginyu: You just said your name in third person.

Frieza: (ignores Ginyu, and he and Ginyu watch the bird as it suddenly tilts and falls, heading to the ground)

Both: Huh??!

Falcon: Cholesterol! (hack) Artery Hardeners! (Hits the ground dead as a doornail)

Frieza: (confused) *o_o Uh...what just happened?

C. Ginyu: (crying) The birdie's dead! What a cruel universe we live in!!

Frieza: (studies the fries on his...plate?) Artery Hardeners? What's this stuff made of??

C. Ginyu: (inspects his fries)

Frieza: No wonder these things taste so good! They're meant to kill us in our old age! Let's leave!

C. Ginyu: But you haven't even eaten your cheeseburger yet! (grabs Frieza's and his own food and follows Frieza out of McDonald's)

Frieza and C. Ginyu: Status: Somewhere far away from the Navigation room...I think they passed it...

Frieza: (licking his fingers from the cheeseburger earlier) Mmmm....

C. Ginyu: Where are we now?

Frieza: (not really caring) Uh...I don't know. Somewhere near the navigation room.

C. Ginyu: Say, Lord Frieza, sir?

Frieza: What now?

C. Ginyu: Any comments about the questions I asked earlier?

Frieza: Uh...yeah, as a matter of fact, I have a couple of comments I would like to add.

C. Ginyu: Oh, goody! Okay, on question number one--

Frieza: (yelling) They all stunk! I hated every last one of them, except the one about where my mom was! I'm very happy for her because I know me, Cooler, and our father are all going to Hell! Happy??

C. Ginyu: One more thing!

Frieza: (looks up at the ceiling for a fourth time) God, if there was ever a time that I needed you, it's now. Please, get rid of Captain Ginyu!

God: I don't want to. Deal with him.

Frieza: Nooo!

C. Ginyu: (looks at Frieza uneasily) You're really losing it man.

Frieza: (angrily) Excuse me, but I was trying to have a conversation with God!

C. Ginyu: O_O Oh, really? Jealous of you! He only talks to me at night...

Frieza: -_- You're telling me that you heard him before, too?

C. Ginyu: Yeah, but I wasn't sure it was God since I've never heard him in the daytime before. Yeah, that's it.

Frieza: Ginyu?

C. Ginyu: Yeah? ^_^

Frieza: *^_^ I should kill you shouldn't I?

C. Ginyu: Yes, you should! But the author won't let you for reasons untold! ^_^ (phew!)

Frieza: Darn that author!

C. Ginyu: Soo, while we're waiting to get to that room, why don't you tell me some of your true-life stories, eh?

Frieza: Now why would I want to do that?

C. Ginyu: ^^ Duh! So that I can get to know you better!

Frieza: -_- This was not in your job requirement.

C. Ginyu: You could make it part of my job requirement as a bonus!

Frieza: And be forced to endure YOU for as long as it takes? Uh-uh! I'm not doing that! Forget it!

C. Ginyu: (puppy dog eyes) Please? Just one little story won't hurt!

Frieza: (regrets looking at C. Ginyu at that moment) Alright! Alright!

C. Ginyu: ^_^ Yay!!

Frieza: But don't tell anyone about this, alright? Or I'll kill you!

C. Ginyu: My lips are sealed! (grins)

Frieza: (not sure about telling Ginyu about the story, but starts anyway) Okay, there was time when I was addicted to my father's tail--

C. Ginyu: You told me that one already.

Frieza: Oh. Well, what about the one wear I swallowed the gold fish--

C. Ginyu: Last year.

Frieza: The turtle blood?

C. Ginyu: Last month.

Frieza: -_- The kissing dare?

C. Ginyu: O_O Ooo, you never told me about that one before! I didn't even know you were into such things! Tell me, tell me!!

Frieza: Okay, okay! (blushes) Remember, you can't tell anyone!

C. Ginyu: Promise! (impatient) Now get on with the story!

Frieza: Well, it happened in Golen's lab, on his weird space ship...

*Flashback!*

(Frieza narrates)

Author: I was originally headed there to finally finish him off when I spotted Cerulean, who was now eight feet tall, too large for even my brother to handle, which is probably a good thing for her. Anyways, I spotted the Saiyan sitting with those pathetic warriors he calls friends in a circle. They were playing--

*Cerulean: Truth or Dare?

Raditz: Truth.

*Cerulean: Shouldn't have chosen that one!

Raditz: (looks worried) Dare?

*Cerulean: Too late! Question: Is it true that when Ray was finally free of her demon form that you were jealous of Golen when she said she didn't want to go out with you and instead, chose him?

(everyone looks at Raditz)

Raditz: Uh (sweat drop and squeaky voice) ...yes! (buries head in hands and weeps)

*Cerulean: Told you I'd get you back for that pie one day!

Raditz: (face still buried) Leave me alone!

*Golen: Okay, Cerulean, my turn.

*Cerulean: (thinking) Oh, crap! What have I done?

*Golen: Truth or Dare?

*Cerulean: (thinking) Better not make a mistake!

*Golen: I'm waiting~...

Author: At this point, I thought it might get a little interesting, so I joined the group.

*Green Goblin (Cello): (nervously) Hi, Frieza, sir...hehe...what's up?

Frieza: Oh, nothing much. Just decided to join your little group for now. You don't mind, do you?

Everyone: No, no! Not all! Please, make yourself at home, sir!

Frieza: (smirks) Thank you.

*Golen: Okay. So, like I was saying, Cerulean: Truth or Dare?

*Cerulean: (without thinking) Dare!

(everyone gasps)

*Cerulean: (thinking) What the heck possessed me to say that with Frieza here?!

*Pidget: That's it! It's all over. Golen wins this one, Cerulean.

*Ray: Remember: You don't have to do what he says, Cerulean. (thinking) Because I sure as heck knows what he's going to say. Poor Cerulean.

*Golen: (looking sly) But wouldn't that be defeating the purpose of the dare? Besides, you know what happens when you go back on a dare in my ship.

*Cerulean: Fine! I'll do the stinking dare!

*Pidget: Should we even wait around to see what happens?

Radditz: (stops crying) Yes, we should. I WANNA SEE CERULEAN GET WHAT'S COMING TO HER!

*Golen: Cerulean, I dare you to kiss Frieza! AHAHAHAHA!

*Cerulean: You're cruel. (sniffs, looks over at Frieza who's smirking) Are you sure you want to do this? I might have a fish fungus or something!

Frieza: That's a chance I'm willing to take.

*Pidget: Oh my gosh! She's really doing it! (covers face with hands, but peaks out through them with one eye)

*Ray: God, have mercy on her!

(Cerulean and Frieza lean in for the kiss)

*Green Goblin: Dooms Day! (passes out)

*Cerulean: (thinking) Help me!

Frieza: (thinking with eyes closed) Yes, finally my dream has come true! I am the most loved tyrant in the universe!

(Cerulean and Frieza kiss. Cerulean tries to break away, but Frieza grabs her wrists, holding her close)

*Cerulean: (thinking) Oh, no! He's not letting go!

Frieza: (thinking with a smile) This kiss ends when I say it does!

(The kiss lasts for a few more moments, then finally ends to Cerulean's relief)

Frieza: That was great! ^_^

*Cerulean: (passes out)

Frieza: Cerulean?

*End Flashback!*

C. Ginyu: Whoa! You kissed Cerulean? Unbelievable!

Frieza: (gloating) Yes, I know. But it happened. I'll always remember that day...(sighs)...

C. Ginyu: (off-topic) You aren't my sister! You're my long-lost brother, aren't you?!

Frieza: Oh, Ginyu, not that again!

C. Ginyu: Hehe...

Will Frieza and Ginyu ever get to the Navigation room? And what about the Ginyu Force? Will birds continue to get heart attacks from McDonald's French fries? Find out in the next chapter of the Asylum Chronicles!