Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Asylum Chronicles ❯ The Navigation Room is Full of Stupid People! ( Chapter 5 )

Miscellaneous Saga

Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ...why am I doing a disclaimer?

The Asylum Chronicles: Chapter 5-The Navigation Room is Full of Stupid People!

Warning: Grape juice stupidity ahead! You've been warned...

By Queen Breeza

Frieza's ship: Status: Nowhere near their destination...

Destination: It's not Rabeez, that's for sure!

While Frieza and C. Ginyu have been looking for the Navigation room, the rest of the Ginyu Force have been restless, not knowing what to do with all the time they have on their hands.

Jeice: What's taking them so long?

Burter: (snoring)...yes, Cecile...kill the orange one...

Jeice: (looks at Burter still sleeping) Why does everyone want me dead? (kicks Burter) Get up! Go do something useful with your life!

Burter: (still sleeping)...Dad...(snore)...where do you keep the gun?...

Jeice: Crap! Do I have to do everything myself?! Hey, Recoome!

(Recoome is too busy watching a soap to listen)

Jeice: Recoome! Come on, we got to find Frieza and Cap'n Ginyu! Something may have happened to them.

Recoome: Go by yourself. I'm busy.

Jeice: Recoome! (tries to punch Recoome in the back of the head, but Recoome catches his fist easily)

Recoome: Go. Away. (flings Jeice by his hand into the wall)

Jeice: (getting up and holding his arm) Darn it! Fine! I'm...leaving! (walks out of the room)

Jeice: Status: Near the Navigation room.

Unlike Frieza, Jeice knows the exact location of the Navigation room. He's been to it at least fifty million times! Along the way, he found a spider to torment...

Spider: (to the fly hovering above him and Jeice) Help me!

Jeice: (pulling off the legs of the spider one by one) And this little piggy stayed home...

Fly: Not a chance! You ate my mommy!

Spider: A spider has to eat!

Fly: And a fly has to...fly! (flies away)

Spider: I'll see you in--(Jeice crushes the spider)too late.

Jeice: Great, now I'm bored again. (sees sign that says "Navigation Room") Finally!

(Inside, Jeice sees why the ship hasn't stopped anywhere)

Jeice: Hey, how come you guys aren't navigating the ship?

Worker 1: Keep your pants on! We're almost there. (goes back to playing tic-tac-toe)

Worker 2: Uh, where were we going again?

Worker 1: I believe it was a place called Planet...uh, Robeer?

Worker 2: Nah, it was something like, uh...Planet Running Deer.

Worker 3: (shows up with a bottle of grape juice made by Welche's) Come on, people! The planet was called Rabies!

Worker 1&2: Oh, yeah! That sounds right!

Jeice: (shaking head) You idiots! It's Planet Rabeez! Sheesh!

Worker 3: That's what I said--Planet Rabies!

Jeice: Not "Rabies"! "Ruh-beez"! Get it right.

Worker 3: Why do you keep repeating what I am saying? I just said "Planet Rabies". Idget.

Jeice: Never mind! Just let me see the control screen. (quietly) Probably aren't even on the right course to begin with. (looks at the screen and sees that it's blank) You idiots! You weren't even navigating the ship to begin with! The navigator's not even on.

Worker 1: Well, we did have it on but...

Jeice: But?

Worker 1: (glares over at Worker 3) He spilled grape juice all over it! Then the darn thing didn't even show a signal anymore...

Jeice: O_O Do you realize that when Frieza comes here--

Worker 2: As far as I'm concerned, he's already been here.

Jeice: -_- What?!

Worker 3: Or at least we heard him. But then he passed right by us! I think he was with Ginyu.

Worker 1: Yeah, poor Frieza...

Worker 2: (brightens up) Well, can't say I'll miss him! (takes the grape juice from Worker 3 and pours himself a cup) It's not like he ever paid me!

Worker 1: I'll say! He killed our race--

Worker 2: The women!

Worker 3: Of course, they were ugly anyways...but still! He left us with nothing!

Worker 4: (comes in out of nowhere and breaks down) Not even our moms! (cries)

Worker 1: There, there, old chap! (pats Worker 4 on the back)

Worker 2: It's not the end of the universe you know! ^_^

Worker 3: We still have time to make a difference!

Worker 4: (stops crying and smiles) By...

All: Drinking more grape juice!!!

Jeice: (eye twitches) This is pathetic. (leaves the room) (outside) The Navigation Room is full of stupid people! I'd better hurry up and find Lord Frieza and Cap'n Ginyu before one of them goes off the deep end!

(A spider crawls by)

Jeice: (sees the spider) Ooo, looky what I found!

Spider: Help me!!...

Will the ship ever be back on course? Will Recoome stop watching soaps and actually do something? And where is Guldo? Is Jeice ever going to find Frieza and C. Ginyu and stop tormenting spiders? Find out in the next Asylum Chronicles!!