Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Asylum Chronicles ❯ Let Us in the Room! ( Chapter 7 )

Miscellaneous Saga

Author’s Note:

Author: Wow, it’s been awhile since I last wrote PERIOD!

Cooler: I’ll say. You’ve gotten pretty lazy with all this school crap going on.

Frieza: Yeah, you need to spend more time with me!

Cooler: AND me!

Author: Give me a break--

Frieza: YOU ALREADY HAD ONE!! Too long a break for my taste!

Cooler: You should forget about school for a while and pay more attention to US!

Author: Hey, school’s important! There’s more to life than writing fanfiction, you know!

Frieza: Gasp! Tell me she didn’t just say what I think she said!

Cooler: Yep, she said it all right. Now she has to pay...

Frieza: You of all people should know that there’s nothing more important than finishing the fanfiction series and sagas that an author has already written. The author must be dedicated to that fanfiction to readily serve the purpose of the people. Those who do not follow the Laws of the Fanfiction Writer shall pay the penalty of DEATH!

Author: ...

Cooler: Furthermore, the author must say ten Hail Mary’s in the corner of her room and stuff her mouth full of used, old, crappy, mildewy, video games until her mouth exceeds its capacity to stretch and all sin has been paid in full due!!

Author: Dang!

Frieza: Now, THAT was dramatic!

Cooler: Thank you! Thank you!

Author: I’ve got a question.

Frieza: Hmm, isn’t the prisoner allowed one question?

Cooler: Yes...

Author: First of all, Cooler, what are you doing here? The story I’m writing with this “Author’s Note” has nothing to do with you.

Cooler: Well, um...

Author: Aren’t you supposed to be in the Khan Saga and Baby Trouble right now?

Cooler: Heh heh heh....

Frieza: Don’t listen to her! She’s trying to change the subject! She’s warping your mind!

Author: Too late.

Cooler: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Disclaimer: I don’t own--WAIT! I said I wouldn’t write this anymore! Ahahahahahaha!

  The Asylum Chronicles: Chapter Seven-Let Us in the Room!! By Queen Breeza    

Frieza’s ship: Status: Now nearing Oblivion...

Frieza: (flies in his pod down the hall screaming like a girl) AHHHHHH!!!!

Demon: You can never escape me!!! (chases after Frieza)

Jeice: (turns around and looks back just as Frieza zips past him) Sir? (sees the possessed Ginyu running toward him with lightning speed) AHHHHHH!!!! WAIT FOR ME, LORD FRIEZA!!!

Frieza: Hurry up, Jeice! You’re the one who knows where the Navigation room is, not me!

Jeice: AHHHHH!!!! (catches up and runs past Frieza headed toward the Navigation room. Frieza follows.)

(Once Jeice gets to the Nav. room, he waits for the door to open automatically, but it doesn’t. Horrified, he begins pounding on the door.)

Jeice: Hey! Open up!

(Inside, noise of people scrambling and one waking up is heard. Someone answers.)

???: What!?

Jeice: You heard me! Open the door!

???: Why should I?

Frieza: OPEN IT NOW!!!

???: Why?

Frieza: Because I said so!

???: Nah! You might kill us.

Frieza: Idiot! I’ll kill you if you don’t open the door!

???: And damage your ship? Yeah, right.

Frieza: (growls deep in his throat, but then hears the possessed Ginyu getting closer) ...Please?

???: Well....

Jeice: Come on! We don’t have all day!!

???: Hold your horses already! (The door opens just as Ginyu has reached Frieza.)

Frieza: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rushes in, pushing Jeice in there with him. The door closes automatically, and Frieza locks it.)

Demon: Nooooo!!!!!!!

(Inside the room)

Frieza: (Fuming now because the soldier inside the room already wouldn’t let him in at first) You.....

???(turns out to be Worker 1 from earlier): (laughs nervously) Heh heh.....heeeyyyyy Lord Frieza sir! I--

Frieza: Shut up.

Worker 1: Okay.

(Worker 2 appears, sees what’s going on and turns around to leave again. Frieza stops him.)

Frieza: Where are YOU going, you little worm?!

Worker 2: (in squeaky voice) No where!

Frieza: (looks around for the first time and notices something) How come no one’s navigating my ship?

Worker 2: Uhhhhhhhhh, because.......

Worker 1: We ran into a little situation sir! But everything’s okay now! Right?

Worker 2: Uh, yeah! Right!

Frieza: (cocks a brow) Situation? What type of situation?

Worker 1: Uh, nothing! Nothing of importance!

(A can of grape juice rolls out from behind the worker.)

Worker 1: (sweat drop) Uhhhhhhhhh....heh heh....

Frieza: What the heck is that?! Grape juice?!!

Worker 1: I can explain that, sir...

(Worker 3 appears.)

Frieza: (To all the workers) You’ve been drinking grape juice instead of navigating my ship the entire time??!! You IDIOTS!!

Worker 3: Actually, uh, someone spilled grape juice all over the screen, so then it just...fizzed and shut off...

Frieza: And WHO, my dear deadbeat, would that have been? Who in their right mind would have liquids near electrical......stuff?

Jeice: (thinking) Wow, that was a reeeeeally smart word...(rolls his eyes)...

Frieza: (notices Jeice’s look) Jeice, you look as if you really want to say something. Care to share what’s on your mind?

Jeice: (quickly) No! No thank you, sir! Just random thoughts, heh heh, nothing important!!

(Someone outside the room suddenly pounds on the door.)

Demon: Hey! I know you haven’t forgotten about me already!

Frieza: Don’t let him in!

Jeice: Duh!

Frieza: ...

Jeice: Heh...sorry?

Frieza: (growls)

Jeice: Shutting up...

Frieza: (looks at the door where the demon’s still pounding on it) Well (sighs), we might as well find something to occupy ourselves with. (looks at the empty can of grape juice on the floor)...(looks at Worker 3) Got any more of that stuff?

Twenty minutes later...

Frieza’s ship: Status: Still nearing oblivion...

Frieza’s status: Drunk off...grape juice?

Currently all the guys in the room are singing a song while drinking grape juice. Everyone but Frieza is on the floor. Frieza is out of his pod and in a chair near a counsel. He’s sitting in it backwards.

Frieza: (singing) ~Show me the way to go home~

Jeice: (singing) ~I’m tired and I wanna go to bed~

Worker 1: (does a drumbeat four times and picks up with the next verse) ~I had a little drink about an hour ago, and it went straight to my head~

Worker 2: ~Wherever I may roam~

Demon: (still pounding on the door) Let. Me. In. NOW!!

Frieza: (drunkenly) Shut up! We’re trying to sing here!

Demon: So I’ve noticed. Sounds terrible!

Frieza: (thinking the demon said ‘terrific’ instead of ‘terrible’) Thank you. I didn’t think I was very good at this...(sniffs with happiness)

Demon: You aren’t!

Frieza: Oh, you don’t have to go on like that! Really, I’m not THAT good. (to everyone else in the room) Am I?

Jeice: Your the best, Cap’n! (realizes mistake) I mean, sir!

Frieza: You don’t have to worry about that, Jeice. I might as well be the captain since Ginyu is currently occupied....Occupied?? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

(Jeice and the others laugh as well)

(The pounding on the door stops. Muttering is heard and then footsteps of someone walking away from the door.)

Frieza: (back to normal) (whispers) Jeice! I think he’s gone! Let’s get out of here and get back to the main room.

Jeice: Roger!

Frieza: ...

Jeice: Uh, sir!

Frieza: (rolls his eyes and gets back into his pod) Don’t make a sound!

Jeice: Ro-, yes, sir!

(Frieza slowly approaches the door. He signals to Jeice to follow, but an alarm suddenly goes off)

Frieza: What’s going on!???

(Red lights start flashing everywhere. The monitor’s screen where the grape juice was spilled suddenly comes on. The words are unclear, but the diagram showing displays the ship headed towards a giant supernova.)

Worker 1: Oh my gosh! We’re all gonna die!!!!!

Worker 2: I knew I should’ve bought that lottery ticket when I had the chance! Then I probably wouldn’t be here!

Jeice: Why doesn’t someone just change the course of the ship already??

Frieza: Ooooo, why don’t you do it, then?

Jeice: I don’t know...how....

Frieza: Hah. Thought so.

Worker 3: I do! I do!

Workers 1 & 2: Oh no. That’s what happened the last time...

(Worker 3 goes over to the keyboard and successfully changes the course of the ship.)

Worker 3: See? Nothing to worry about! (looks at the screen again) Uh, where are we supposed to be going again?

Frieza: Planet Rabeez.

Worker 3: Okay....(Changes the ship’s course again)

Jeice: Phew, glad that’s over!

Worker 1 & 2: Noooo! We’re headed towards the supernova!!!!!

Frieza: What’s with that thing anyway?

Worker 1: Don’t know. I think it’s stuck in a time frame or something.

Worker 2: Or maybe it’s just waiting for us to get close enough for it to destroy us.

Frieza: That’s ridiculous! A supernova can’t think! It’s not even alive!

Worker 3: The ship can only go back and forth! I can’t make it do anything else!!!

Frieza: And why is that?

Worker 3: Because I...spilled...grape juice on it...

Frieza: You WHAT!?!?

Worker 3: I’m sorry sir...

Jeice: Perhaps we should be more concerned with the current situation sir. Since the ship may as well be a lost cause anyways, perhaps we should evacuate....

Frieza: Good idea! (unlocks the door) Let’s go! (heads out and Jeice follows)

Workers: Hey! What about us??

Frieza: (looks back in scowling) You three should stay here until you’ve fixed that computer console!

Workers: Awww....

(Frieza makes the big mistake of turning on the lock of the door before he goes back out and realizes the mistake when the demon is four feet in front of him.)

Demon: Hello! ^_^

Frieza: ......

Jeice: This stinks...

Demon: Ready to die?

Frieza: Go ahead! Kill me! We’re all headed to oblivion anyways.

Demon: Oh, goody! We’re all going to Hell! We’re all going to Hell!

Frieza: Glad you’re happy -_-.

(Suddenly the alarm goes off and the lights quit flashing.)

Frieza: Okay...

Jeice: I really wish that hadn’t happened...

Demon: Well, you’re going to die anyways, right?

(Frieza starts banging on the door again)

Frieza: Open the door!!!

Worker 1: Why’d you lock it, stupid?

Frieza: (growls) I’ll remember this...

Jeice: I’m outta here! (Runs down the hall)

Frieza: Open up!!!!

Demon: Hey! Get back here! (chases after Jeice)

Frieza: Okay...

Demon: (turns head all the way around) Don’t think I’ve forgotten about YOU!! I’ll be back!

Frieza: Yay -_-...

(Inside the room)

Worker 2: (speaking to Worker 3) No more grape juice for you! (takes away his drink)

Worker 3: Nooo!! (Has a tantrum on the floor)

Worker 3: (To Worker 1) How’d you get the thing to work?

Worker 1: Oh, I just cleaned it with Lysol.

Worker 3: That can’t be the only thing you did...

Worker 1: Okay. It just magically fixed itself, and I set the right coordinates for Planet Rabeez.

Worker 3: Goody!^_^

Will Frieza and Jeice ever be free of the Demon’s pursuit? Will the workers in the Navigation room finally start taking their job seriously and quit drinking grape juice? And where is the rest of the Ginyu force in all this?

Stay tuned for the next chapter: Bring on the Holy Water!