Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Asylum Chronicles ❯ Bring on the Holy Water! ( Chapter 8 )

Miscellaneous Saga

Author’s note: Again, I had taken a haitus from writing...DBZ fanfiction. But now that it’s summer again, I should have plenty of time to write. Do you even like this story? I might discontinue it...

Disclaimer: Guess...

  The Asylum Chronicles: Chapter 8-Bring on the Holy Water! The holy may work...right? By Queen Breeza    

Ship status: Currently--

Frieza: Forget that!! I’m in danger!!

Jeice: (though very far away now) No, he’s not! It’s me who’s in danger!!!

Demon: You’re both in the same boat! How about that? Heh heh!

Frieza: -_- Very funny...

Demon: (still chasing Jeice) Thank you! ^_^

Frieza: ......?

(inside the room)

Worker 2: (To Worker 3) What do you think you’re doing?!

Worker 3: (Near the fridge) Ummm...nothing...

Worker 2: That’s what I thought! Now stay away from that fridge!!

Worker 3: ...meanie...

Worker 2: What was that?

Worker 3: Nothing.

Worker 2: ...

Worker 3: What?! Can’t I have a free life without you staring at me all day?!!

Worker 2: ...Nope.

Worker 3: Awww...

(Outside the room)

Frieza: (banging on the door again) Open up!!!

Worker 1: Why?

Frieza: Because I said so!!

Worker 1: Why?

Frieza: Because I want to get in!!

Worker 1: Why?

Frieza: Because if you don’t I’ll kill you!!!

Worker 1: Why?

Frieza: ...!

Worker 1: ...Hello?

Frieza: ...You didn’t just ask me why I’d kill you did you?

Worker 1: ...Ummm...no. I mean, why?

Frieza: Ha! I knew it! I’m blowing up this door right now!!

Worker 1: Wait!

Frieza: Darnit! Why didn’t I think of that before?? (smacks self on the head)

Worker 1: Ooo! I know, I know!!

Frieza: ...yes?

Worker 1: Because you didn’t want to damage your ship!

Frieza: Darn...

Worker 1: And I’m still not going to open the door!!

Frieza: (sighs) Then I guess I have no choice...(readies finger for energy ball)

Worker 1: Nooo!!! (Opens the door and Frieza rushes in.)

Frieza: (trying to close the door only for it to be stopped by Jeice) What the?

Jeice: Wait!! Let me in!!

Frieza: No! I can’t! The demon has you!!

Jeice: But, sir!!

Frieza: Sorry, Jeice, but it’s either you or me!

Jeice: (close to tears) How could you?!!

(Demon drags away Jeice)

Frieza: You know, it’s funny really. I don’t feel a thing about this.

Jeice: (far away) That’s because you’re heartless!!

Frieza: (rolls eyes) Duh!

Worker 1: Hey, look what I found! (holds up a book that says Demonology for Complete Idiots Who Need to Die if They‘re Reading This Book!!)

Frieza: And that is for?

Worker 1: Well, I think it’ll help get rid of the Demon thingy that got Jeice.

Frieza: (Grabs book) Let me see that! (finds table of contents, but holds book away trying to read it)

Worker 1: (curiously) What are you doing?

Frieza: I can’t read it. I need my reading glasses.

Worker 1: (snickers)

Frieza: What? Plenty of people need them! Leave me alone!!

Worker 1: (still snickering) Why didn’t you just say so? I’ve got some!

Frieza: (dreadfully) Oh, no...

Worker 1: (pulls out My Little Pony Tales glasses) Use these! They work extremely well!

Frieza: (Right eye twitches) I...c-can’t...

Worker 1: (hypnotically) Wear them...wear them...WEAR THEM!!!

Frieza: All right!!!! (snatches away glasses) (puts them on and eyes go wide) Crap! I bet you can see germs with these things!! (begins reading) Let’s see... “HOW TO GET A DEMON FROM SMELLING UP THE ROOM”. No, not that one... “HOW TO TICKLE A DEMON”. What the crap? “HOW TO EAT--” Darnit! This book’s full of it! I can’t even find anything useful!! Oh, wait... “HOW TO UN-POSSESS YOUR DEMON-POSSESSED FRIEND AND KILL THE DEMON AT THE SAME TIME”. Page 34. That might help!^^...WHAT?!

Worker 1: Something wrong?

Frieza: Ginyu’s not my friend--he’s my one of my soldiers! And how did this book know to put that in here??!

Worker 1: Me no know.

Frieza: (looks away from book) What?

Worker 1: Nothing.

Frieza: (rolls eyes and looks back at book again) Let’s see...(flips to page 34 and scrolls down to info for killing the demon)... “In order to get rid of the possessed’s demon, throw holy water on face of victim, and then make him”--how the heck? Nevermind-- “swallow the remaining dosage. In other words, use half-and-half, stupid!” WHAT!! How dare this book defy me!! I’ll be sure to burn it when I have time! But right now, I’ve gotta get that holy water...how the heck am I going to pull that off??

Worker 1: Uh, you could pray really hard...

Frieza: I’m not a priest.

Worker 1: Oh, yeah. You’re too evil anyways...

Frieza: ~_o

Worker 1: Well, you are!

Frieza: You didn’t have to point that out...

Worker 1: Oh, sorry...

Frieza: Well?

Worker 1: Well, what?

Frieza: GET A FLIPPIN’ PRIEST, OR “FATHER”, OR WHATEVER AS THEY CALL IT ON THE PHONE LINE!!

Worker 1: Okay! But...

Frieza: But???

Worker 1: Where’s the phone?

Frieza: (fuming) IN THE CONTROL ROOM, YOU IDIOT!!

Worker 1: Sorry!!! (runs past refrigerator and other two workers to the back)

Frieza: (closes book and throws it aside) Now to get the water...

(Somewhere down the hallway)

Jeice: Let go!

Demon: Never!

Jeice: Why are you going after me anyways? I’m not Frieza!! I’m not Lord of the Universe!! I’m not the one who thinks I’m invincible!! I’m not--

Demon: Shut up! I hate it when people tell the truth!!

Jeice: (smirks with sudden idea) I killed a lot of people.

Demon: Shut up.

Jeice: I deserve a very BIG punishment when I die!

Demon: Shut up!

Jeice: I don’t like Frieza very much at all. I’m like most of the soldiers here--I kill or be killed.

Demon: (frustrated now) SHUT UP!!! (Drops Jeice and turns to face him only to find Jeice speeding back down the hall) Darn it!!!

(Back in the Navigation room)

(Frieza is currently looking in the fridge for bottled water.)

Frieza: There has to be some water around here!! (Begins throwing stuff out, starting with a jar of pickled pig feet that crashes to the floor. Worker 2 slips on the contents and grabs onto the computer consul to keep from falling. His hand hits the Hyper Speed button and everyone goes flying back against the ship.)

Worker 2: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! We’re all going to die!!

Frieza: You did it!!

Worker 2: You caused it!!

Frieza: ...........So?! (tries crawling to the computer)

Worker 2: See? I was right!!

(Frieza continues to the computer and finally finds the button for Normal Speed. He presses it, but nothing happens.)

Frieza: What the...?

Worker 2: (yelling now because of the force upon him) Did you press the Hyper Speed button?

Frieza: No!

Worker 2: You have to press it again to shut it off!!

Frieza: That’s...so...lame!!!

Worker 2: I know, but I didn’t program it; Jakor did!!

Frieza: Who’s he?

Worker 2: I don’t know; he’s been dead for three years!!

Frieza: O.O Darn! (finds button for Hyper Speed and presses it)

Worker 2: Yay! (gets up now that the ship is back to normal and heads for the fridge, which has fallen) Must salvage food!!

Frieza: (getting up) Where’s the water?

Worker 2: (head now in the fridge) Over there where the sink is...(quietly) genius...

Frieza: -_-

(Outside the room...but soon to be inside XD!!)

Jeice: You’ll never take me alive!

Demon: (losing breath) Get...back..(gasp)...here!...Oh, gosh...(collapses...for now)

Jeice: Yay! (heads into Navigation room since the door wasn’t locked) You!! (points at Frieza near the sink with glaring eyes)

Frieza: (casually) Oh, hello there. I see you escaped without a scratch. Good to know you’re not completely useless.

Jeice: (wide-eyed with disbelief) You’re sick, you know that?!

Frieza: (finishes at the sink) No, not really...

Jeice: Jerk...

Frieza: (to Worker 2) Hey, has the other guy gotten that holy guy yet?

Worker 2: Uh, I guess...

Frieza: (annoyed) Go check.

Worker 1: (From the back) Hey, the priest guy or whatever is on the line now! Bring on the water!

Frieza: Are you sure he’s the real deal?

Worker 1: (holds out phone) Here, you speak to ‘em.

Frieza: (Takes the phone) Hello?

Guy: Hello? Is this the one who requested--

Frieza: Yes! Yes! Now, listen. I’ve got some water in a cup in front of me, and I’d like for you to say a sweet, short prayer over it, okay? And nothing too long! We don’t have all day...

Guy: Sure. Okay...

(Outside the room)

Demon: (back to consciousness) Say, where’d the red guy go? I haven’t killed him yet! (looks a yard in front of him) Oh, the door...again -_-...

(Inside room)

Guy: ...Amen.

Frieza: ...that’s it?

Guy: Yeah...

Frieza: Oh. Okay. Bye! (hangs up phone) This better work!

(Outside room)

Demon: (knocks on door) Hey, everybody in there?

Frieza: (inside) Uh, nope. But hey, I think I’ll let you in this time!

Demon: Hmmm...really? You seem so...sincere...

Frieza: Of course I’m being sincere! I’m letting you in now...(whispering to workers and Jeice) Get ready to grab him!

Demon: Hmmm...

Frieza: (opens door) Now!!

(Everyone jumps on the demon as he goes into the room.)

Demon: Hey! What gives!?

Frieza: (throws half of holy water on demon face) (crazily) Does it feel good???!!!

Demon: (howling in pain) Ahhhhhhhaghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Frieza: (Opens demon’s mouth) Drink up!! (pours rest of water down throat)

Demon: I’m melting...

Frieza: (rolls eyes) Oh, none of that!

Demon: I hate you. (Ginyu returns to normal as evil dark aura lifts from him.)

Ginyu: ...3 more minutes...

Frieza: (not realizing Ginyu’s totally back) No! You have to leave now!!! (starts kicking Ginyu)

Ginyu: Ow!! Who’s hitting me???!! <_< >_> O_O

Frieza: Oh, you’re back now...(laughs nervously, then straightens up...typical) Well, back to the front!

Jeice: Oh, really? And do you know the way back?

Frieza: (darkly) You’re coming with me.

Jeice: Sure! No problem, sir! ^_^*

Well, things are back to “normal”, at least for now. Stay tuned for the next chapter: Destination Rabeez-Reached!...finally...