Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Downward Spiral ❯ Chapter 5

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

I feel nothing, this rush is great and I feel nothing, that is until I wake up and I start to feel the pain again the pain of having your heart torn open for all to see the pain of letting it happen, the pain of being to afraid to tell him, for fear I might lose him, even though I've lost him anyway already, I should just end it all, I'm killing myself anyway it's just not as quick as that, the drugs made me forget myself forget my pain if only for a few hours, I wonder how long I can stay like that? I wonder how much it'll take to make the pain go away. If I destroy myself will I still feel pain? If I die will I be free or even more cursed? I wonder how much blow I need right now? I then snorted some more of james' magic white powder.

I have to find goten, I don't know where to look what should I do why is he doing this, isn't he happy just yesterday I thought he was happy himself, happy for me? I'm so scared 'ten why are you doing this I don't understand just talk to me please I keep walking towards where james house use to be I'm just walking cause I need this time to think I've still got about 16 blocks to go, that is when I saw him my old friend Jame's running towards me he see's me and looks relieved "Jesus trunks I need your help" "my help with what" "goten you need to help him I'm so sorry trunks" "what did you do" "all I'm going to say is he's extremely depressed and I was ok with him having weed, but he's taking cocaine." "coke he took coke why would do that why did you give him that" "I don't know I regret that but there's more" "WHAT ELSE?!!?" "uhh you remember jeff right well when I came back home thinkin he'd be done with his coke high uhhm him and jeff we're high on H." "wait you don't mean he wouldn't have done that heroin?" "yeah only jeff does it so he must have given it to him trunks he needs you your help he is extremely depressed about something he was crying and begging me for something to make it go away, I shouldn't have given him the blow but he scared, he looked like he would killed himself please you have to do something!" no more time for thinking or walkin "come on jeff" I picked him up and flew as fast as I could to his house, I reached it in 1 minute flat, I dropped him on the lawn and ran in to get him. "GOTEN!" he looked a little dazed he looked up at me "trunks what are you doing here?" "why am I here why are you here goten why are you doing this coke, heroin what do you get from that what are you so depressed about goten tell me" he looked like he was crying "just go away trunks please I can't do this anymore just go and be happy"

It was true I can't pretend anymore I can't pretend to be happy just being his friend it was too painful I want him to leave to let me kill myself in peace I'm crying I can't let him see that not him "please just go trunks please" i beg "NO not without you" "I can't trunks it hurts too much please just go" "tell me what has happened to you goten what could make you feel like this" "YOU!!! OK now please leave me alone" "me what have i ever done besides be there for you I'm your best friend goten talk to me" now i'm really crying that is what you've done to me been my friend you'd talk about your new girlfriend and I'd be daydreaming about pouncing on you and ripping that shirt off, and kissing you, loving you, and being loved but those were only dreams that you could never see, you could never understand and it hurt "trunks you will never understand" "how do you know unless you tell me chibi please I need to know I need to help you" "how how would you help me If I told that I.." "that you what goten just spit it out" "NO!!!" "just tell him goten he will understand I promise just let him know unless you do that you will never feel better" I didn't know you were their "fine but can we go somewhere private" "sure our spot?" "yeah" we left the house and flew off to the mountains near a little spot by a spring and a waterfall with a large oak tree, the spot we always have gone since we were children then to escape punishment, later for privacy.

We landed at our safe place the place we've always gone since we were children he sat down by the oak tree tears running free down his cheek "Goten what is this all about I've never seen you like this never please let me in let me help you" "trunks I'm trying just shut up and let me say what I have to say" i nodded "trunks I realize after I tell you this you and I will no longer be friends I know this because I know you OK ready?" I nod again "Trunks for years now I've kept this pain bottled up inside me and I can't take it anymore, I can't take being just your friend anymore" he doesn't want me as a friend anymore he doesn't like me? "I can't take it because I've always dreamed of being more than just friends with you" more than friends what does he meen he couldn't? could he? "Trunks I don't remember when It started but what I do know is that....I am I'm well I'm in love with you, I'm in love with your beautiful blue eyes, I'm in love with your soft lavender hair, I love everything about you trunks and It hurts because I know you don't feel the same way, I would kidding myself to think you love me, but I can't stop loving you and It hurts knowing I have to pretend to be happy as just your friend, to act like my heart doesn't break inside when you tell me about your new girlfriend, to act like I didn't die when you told me you loved her, that is my curse trunks, that is my pain that is what I know is going to destroy me because I see you every day and I can never see myself with you the way I dream every time I'm with you I feel amazing but once I realize what we are my heart just breaks I have this pain everyday trunks now tell me how the fuck are you going to help me?" Oh my god what have I done to him what do i do what can I see he knows I'm not in love with him and that just hurt's him more god what should I do. "my mother was the only one I could talk to about this, she may have seemed like a bitch to everyone even to gohan but she was my mom and she cared and since she died, I couldn't talk to anyone about It I haven't said anything about my feelings in four years trunks that is a lot to keep bottled up" It is a lot anything I say now will hurt him "goten I don't know what to say?" "just tell me if you love me or not even though I already know the answer I need to hear it" "Goten you know I love you your my best friend" "that is not what I meant and you fucking know that trunks" "I know and fine I don't want to hurt you but I don't love you like that but goten" I hold him cause crying more "Goten we are all here for you we will get through this ok we will work past it" "HOW TRUNKS

HOW ARE WE GOING TO WORK PAST IT trunks" ohh god I can't stop crying why are you holding me that's not making it better you know "I don't know goten but we will I may not be what you want me to be but I will always be your friend always nothing can change that not even this" "how does this not change that I'm fucking in love with you trunks how is that not gonna change things" "goten it hurts me to see you like this I wish I felt the way you do so I can make you happy but I don't I'm sorry goten is that what you want to hear goten" "know I just want to be alone" "why to kill yourself goten is that why you want to be alone" I thought on this he looked so hurt "yeah maybe" "well I won't let you do that goten you mean too much to me and your family" why he let me die than we can all be happy "why trunks" "what we all love you goten we always have" "No why won't you let me die I want to die don't you see that if I die you all will be happy you can be in love with her and not have to worry about me getting hurt, Trunks please just let me go be happy and let me go" "NO that is not the answer let us help you goten please" I hate my life trunks why can't you let me go "What do I have to live for trunks what?" "ME your family we love you goten it will be ok we will get past this I'll try to help you any way I can it might not be the way that you want but I'll be there" "trunks oh godd, how how do I do it how do I move past this pain what do I do how do I just move past my feelings for you, just go back to the way things were? just act like everything's fine that I'm not in love with you?" "no goten it won't be the same it never will be but I will try to make you feel welcome and happy again" "what are you gonna do trunks your in love with my cousin, what can my dad do he hasn't stopped mourning since mom died it's like he's not there and he's not the dame dad anymore, gohan is so busy with his family there is no one that can help me nothing can help me" "then stop being selfish goten I know it hurts, if your dad is so bad than maybe he needs you more than you need him and what about pan your niece loves you goten, and me what would I do without you you've been my best friend since I was a baby maybe I'm not what you want me to be maybe i'm not in love with you but I still need you as my best friend Goten"Ohhh what have I done tears are streaming even faster how do I fix this god help me please I didn't want this to happen I didn't

Goten what can I do to help you, If I had known you were going through so much, god I am so sorry i wasn't there, they still don't see me but I've always known about their little spot since they were young ones I sensed their ki and came I didn't expect this goten I'm so sorry, maybe your mother's death was harder for you than me I should have been their why couldn't you talk to me? would I have listened or would I have been to busy mourning your mother chichi please help me tell me what to do please "goku" "King Kai?" "who else could it be" "what do you need king kai this isn't the best time" "king yemma told me what's going on and I have someone here who wants to talk to you" "who?" "goku darling, can you hear me?" "chichi? god chichi is it really you? god I've missed you so much chi" "yes it's me I've missed you too but goku you know I love you and always will be with you goku our son needs you now more than ever" "I know chi but what can I do for him I don't know how to help" "just be their for him be your old self stop missing me cause I'm always with you I love you goku now go go to goten he needs you" "I love you chichi so much" "goodbye goku" tears running down "goodbye chichi" and then king kai's link was gone thank you king kai you don't know what that meant to me now to try to help my son "goku?" trunks said to me goten looked around and saw me tears streaming down his face I put my hand on his shoulder "shhh goten everything is going to be find I promise I'm so sorry goten I should have been their for you I shouldn't have let my grief get between you from talking to me I'm so sorry son" "dad?" "goten I'm here" "dad please go don't want you to see me like this GO!" "son we're here for you we all care about you so much we love you so much please let us help you let me take you both home please" "sure goku we'll talk at the house ok goten" goten just nodded still crying goten I hope I can help I wish I understood what was happening but I don't I kept my hand on goten's shoulder who in turn was being held by trunks and I used my Instant Transmission Technique and we were in the living room of the house goten collapsed and held him as he cried it was unnerving seeing such a strong boy unable to stop crying but I know why he has an affliction that could bring any man to tears no matter how strong a completely shattered heart as mine had been when I lost my wife.

I heard someone downstairs crying all of a sudden I went down to see what it was and I saw my cousin crying in trunks arms while my uncle just petted his shoulder saying"it's going to be OK goten" I wonder what happened to him to break him like this I sat down in the chair next to the couch and looked at goten with concern "what happened are you okay cousin?" I said with almost motherly concern I've seen a grown man shaking with tears "trunks what's wrong with him?" "please I'm sorry D but could you leave us for right now we need some privacy "uhh sure T I'll be upstairs if any of you need me"god what happened to my cousin I walked up stairs and looked back before I reached the last step I heard goten speak "I'm sorry but none of you really need me why won't you let me die" then goku "GOTEN that Is not true I love you I lost your mother don't make me lose you too your all I have left" goten then leaves trunks arms and holds his father both crying why does goten want to die how can he bring the strongest man in the universe to tears with ease what can I do how can I help? "trunks go look over my niece I think I need to talk with my son alone for right now" "uhh oook sure goku"he walked upstairs and saw me still watching from the top step "come on I'll explain what happened" he walked with me to gohan's old room and sat us down on the bed and began to explain "You see goten is in love with me" "he's in love with you but your a guy and he's a guy and I love you how can you leave me for him" "D I'm not leaving you I love you and that is why he's so upset he's been in love with me and I'm not in love with him he tried to hide it for years, that's why he was taking drugs he was trying to stop breathing to forget everything can't you see how hard that must be to be in love with someone you know can't love you back the same and try to hold it in for years" "Jesus what can we do to help him?" "I don't know D I don't know I just don't know" "we will figure it out tell me what happened to goten's mother?" "his mother chichi it's a long story" "I want to know trunks tell me please" he paused and looked at me "OK so about 4 or 5 years ago ...............

TBC

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Well here is chapter 5 it was a tough one to write, will goten accept their help or will he let himself fall deeper down the spiraling hell that has become his life, keep reading and please review, this is goten's story with a background romance between trunks and daika so anyway I hope you enjoy it and I hope none of my characters are too out of character looking back my version of vegeta might look like that but he's gonna make an apearance some time in the next few chapters, but in my view at the end of dbz vegeta went through major personal revalations and character developments so that's what I based his personality off of anyway review and enjoy