Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Newlywed Game! ❯ The Newlywed Game! ( Chapter 1 )

Blah"  Speaking

'Blah'  Thinking 

A/N:

Trina Monkey:  Hi! I'm Trina Monkey and this is my faithful side kick Oninu!

Oninu:  Actually sis, you're my faithful side kick.

Trina Monkey:  No.  You're mine!

Oninu:  You're mine!

Trina Monkey:  Liar! 

Oninu:  Listen Monkey, anyone who's already read my stories knows that I'm Vegeta's mother.  Since Saiyans are monkeys, I am your master and you are my slave-uh-I mean side kick.  Hehehe.  *Takes out whip and cracks it.*  Dance monkey, dance!  (After power rage is over, she calms down.)

Trina Monkey:  You're not really Vegeta's mom.  You're just a PSYCO!  Besides, you can't be his mother, because I'm his woman.  *Grins greedily.*

Oninu:  What about Bulma?

Trina Monkey:  Shhhh!  She doesn't know about us.

Oninu:  Uh….Okay.  Well anyway, We're gonna begin this fic now.  Uh…what are we writing?

Trina Monkey:  Uh….The Newlywed Game!

Oninu:  Yeah! 

Disclaimer:  Me no own

Trina Monkey:  Yeah.  Me no own too.

Oninu:  Just shut up.  Just shut up.

Trina Monkey:  Okay.  For now.  Hahahaha!  *cough*

~The Newlywed Game~

A grown man somewhere, in his healthy fifties with brownish, reddish hair comes out the back room and walks out onto the set.  The audience grows wild as they see him and he waves to them and then walks to his panel on stage. 

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to The Newlywed Game.  I'm your host Bob Eubanks!"  The crowd goes wild, since the "applaud" sign was on.  Bob looked at his cards and so that he wouldn't get the names wrong of the contestants.  "Alright, first we have a man who found his soul mate at a World Martial Arts Tournament.  His prize; two kids.  Say hello to Goku and Chi-Chi!"  Chi-Chi is smiling brightly, but Goku is looking deathly uncomfortable in his suit. 

"Next, we have a monk whose wife is no Saint Mary.  Give around of applause to Krillian and Android 18!"  The crowd once again applauses.

"Last, but certainly not least, we have a Prince who wanted to destroy the Earth, but ended up marring the richest woman on the planet!  Lets give it up for Vegeta and Bulma!"  The crowd once again claps for them, but hooting and hollering could be heard towards Bulma, but they were all hushed when Vegeta gave them death glares.

"Okay, for round one, we are going to ask the women to leave the stage, so husbands say goodbye to your wives and please go backstage."

Chi-Chi looks at Goku sternly.  "Now Goku, remember what we practiced."

"Uh…I'm supposed to say I like reading and sports, right?"

"No!  That's not the question that they're asking!  Remember all that we talked about at home and please do it right!  If you don't, then I'll never feed you again!  We could really use that bathtub!  I'm sick of that darn barrel!"

Goku shudders in fear.  "O-okay Chi-Chi."

18 looks at Krillian evilly as well.  "Don't screw this up."

Krillian nodded and begins to mumble to himself.  "Herfavoritefoodispizza.Wecangoallnight….."

Bulma just looks at Vegeta and winks.  'He'll stick to the plan, or it'll be no sex for a month.'

Once all the women were gone, Bob began the first question.  "Okay Goku, When I look at my wife's breasts, I think gee…."

"Gee?  Gee what?  I don't get it.  Is that the whole question?"

A sweat drop appears on Bob's face.  "Yes Goku.  You have to fill in the blank.  What do you think of your wife's breasts?"

"Um….." his stomach then growls loudly.  "They're like apples."

"Apples?"  Bob looked confused.  "Uh…Okay now Krillian, the same question."

Krillian blushes and thinks out loud.  "Hehe.  They're not Bulma's."

Vegeta growls at Krillian.  "Hey, keep to your own woman."

"Come on Vegeta.  That's not my answer.  It's just a joke."

"Actually Krillain," started Bob "we have to take the first thing that comes out your mouth."

All of the color drained from Krillians face.  "WHAT?!  B-b-b…she'll kill me!"

"We're sorry.  We have to take the first answer.  Now Vegeta, same question."

"They're perfect in every way," Vegeta said smirking.  'That better be the woman's answer too, or she'll probably blame getting it wrong on me and then I won't get any.'  He thought to himself this and frowned that the thought of not "getting any." 

"Alright," says Bob "next question goes to Krillain."

"Okay, I'm ready for ya Bob."

"Alright, if your wife could take a pill that would satisfy her without having intercourse, would she take it?"

"No.  Of course she wouldn't take it."

"Alright Vegeta, same question."

"HELL NO!"

"Um….Okay, Goku."

"Um….what's intercourse?"

Vegeta throws his head back and laughs.  "You're making this way too easy Kakarot!"

"Hey!  This isn' funny!  I want to know!"

Krillian looks at his friend, embarrassed for him.  "It means sex Goku."

"Oh!  I know all about that!  I didn't understand what it was at first, but once I started doing for a while, Chi-Chi said I was really good at it."

Vegeta thinks to himself 'What a loser!  And he was the one who defeated Freiza.  Ha!'

Bob then asks "So what about the question, Goku?"

"Uh…well, what flavors the pill?"

Everyone falls anime style with their legs twitching in the air.  Bob gets irritated.  "It doesn't matter.  Does she need your….intercourse?"

"What was that again?"

The whole audience yells "Sex!"

"Oh…well, I'm gone a lot, but she likes it when I'm around."

"Answer the question!"

"Um…well Chi-Chi didn't go over this one."

"It's a yes or no question!"

"Uh..yes!"

Krillian shakes his head and Vegeta whispers "Idiot."

Bob's blood pressure returned to normal and the normal color came back to his face.  "Okay, last question.  Vegeta, if your wife could be with any other man, who would it be?"

Vegeta gets angry very quickly.  "Are you kidding me?  Is this some kind of joke?"

"No.  This is a game."

Vegeta grumbles and says very quietly "Kakarot."

"Uh..I'm sorry, but we could hear that."

"Kakarot!"

Goku looks at Vegeta surprised.  "Wow Vegeta.  Don't take it personally.  It's just a game."

Vegeta mumbles some curse words. 

"Goku, same question."

"Um…I'd have to say Piccolo."

Vegeta starts laughing.  "Does he even have any testicles?"

"But he's a man…wait….no he's not.  Could I change my answer?"

"Sorry Goku, but it's Krillian's turn."

"I'm gonna say Vegeta."

Somewhere in the desert, Yamcha lowers his head in shame.  "Why didn't anyone say me?"

Back on stage, Vegeta smirks, proud of himself. 

Bob then says "That's the end of round one.  Stay tuned to see what their wives will say!"

A/N:  Please Review guys.  I'm not going to update, unless we have at least four reviews.  We hope you liked this, because we certainly were cracking up.  Please review!  Oh, and remember that squirrels are evil!