Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Reason ❯ The Reason ( Chapter 1 )

The Reason

~ ~ ~

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

~ ~ ~

Gokuu looked out the window and stared at the sky. A bird flitted lazily past in the warm afternoon. He longed to be out there in the sky, or fishing in the river. Anywhere but where he was, really. He looked glumly up at Chichi, who continued her rant. She wanted him to get a job.

"Chichi," he protested, "I have a job! I fight!" Chichi screwed up her face in anger and slammed her hands down on the kitchen table.

"You call that a job?!?" she hollered. "What about money, huh? Do people ever think to pay you when you save their behinds??"

"Um…no…I guess not…but they really appreciate it-"she leaned forward and screamed louder.

"Right. Tomorrow I'll just feed Gohan their gratitude! I hear it's a good source of iron!" she snapped. She turned on her heel and went back to her dishes, muttering to herself. Gokuu sighed. This argument was not uncommon in the Son house, but lately it had been coming up every day. Gokuu wished that Chichi would just understand. He loved to fight, how could he stop? Why should he have to? He looked out the window again longing to be…away. Chichi put the last of the dishes in the cupboard and turned around,

"Gokuu-sa! Are you-"She stopped mid-sentence. Gokuu was gone, and the back door was wide open.

…..

Chichi was in the back yard hanging clothes on the line when he landed noiselessly behind a tree, three days later. He tip-toed towards the house, knowing that if she saw him, she would start up again. Gokuu watched her warily. CRACK. His foot landed on a twig which made a noise louder then it should have been. Gokuu wondered why he was always clumsy when he was trying not to be.

He winced as her eyes flicked towards him. He had to focus all his will to stop himself from putting his hands over his ears. He knew what was coming next…But it didn't come. Gokuu opened his eyes to see what was going on, but the only thing in the back yard was the laundry, swaying on the line. Gokuu went inside just as Chichi swung open the front door to leave. Gokuu ran towards her, catching up easily.

"Hi Chichi, where are you off to? Getting more groceries?" He inquired innocently. She threw him a look.

"We don't have any more money to buy groceries. Gohan is at Bulma's tonight, so I don't have to worry about dinner tonight, or breakfast or lunch tomorrow, but my son will need dinner. Don't wait up for me." and she walked away down the road.

~~~

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

~~~

Gokuu stood there, his mouth hanging wide open. What had just happened? He almost smiled, was he off the hook? He sighed in relief and stretched wide. He looked around, but found nothing interesting to do. So he took to the air. He flew around the forest and still found nothing interesting. So he went towards West City. He looked down at the ant-like people. Most of the men were in suits, rushing back to work after their lunch hour.

Their suits were boring, he thought, all brown and dingy, because they wore them every day to some poorly ventilated office. Gokuu made himself a vow that he would never be among the ants of west city, scurrying around in a hurried frenzy to get where they didn't want to go.

After flying around aimlessly for about an hour, Gokuu decided to go see if Vegeta was up to a spar. Gokuu knew he would be. He always was. So he flew over to Capsule Corps. When he arrived, Vegeta was in his gravity room training. Gokuu steadied himself before stepping inside. He was glad he did that two seconds later when the crushing weight hit him. He took a moment to adjust himself to his new environment before saying hi to Vegeta, who just rounded the corner, saying his hello with a kick in the face.

Gokuu countered and flipped backwards out of the way. He smiled. This was exactly what he needed. He flipped backwards again as Vegeta pressed in on him. He sidestepped Vegeta's next punch and came back with his own elbow. Vegeta ducked and came up to uppercut Gokuu in the jaw. Gokuu jumped up and landed behind Vegeta letting himself fall low so he could sweep his leg around to trip Vegeta before Rising to his feet. Vegeta flipped backwards and darted forwards almost in the same moment.

Gokuu wasn't paying attention. Chichi was walking by the open door to the gravity machine in tears. Vegeta's fist landed heavily in Gokuu's gut in reward for his hesitance. Gokuu made a small noise and slid backwards half a foot.

"You let yourself get distracted!" Vegeta snapped angrily.

"Sorry," Gokuu mumbled. His eyes still glued on Chichi. What was the matter? Gokuu felt an ache in his chest. For a moment he thought Vegeta had hit him there. He put his hand to his chest. Maybe it was a sign of a heart attach.

He decided to go see Bulma about it. He followed Chichi with his eyes until he couldn't see her anymore, then left to find Bulma. Vegeta shrugged and continued his training.

Bulma wasn't hard to find. She was in her office talking to a man who gathered up some papers and left as Gokuu flew in the window. Bulma stood and crossed her arms. Gokuu almost smiled, she looked like Vegeta!

"You've got some nerve Son-kun!" she said. Gokuu furrowed his brow.

"What?" he asked. Bulma gave him a famous Bulma glare before she answered.

"Why are you up here talking to me instead of down there talking to her??" she snapped. Gokuu was confused.

"Why would I be doing that?" he asked. He thought she came here so she could be alone, and to *not* see him.

"Son! She needs you!" Bulma said. Gokuu laughed.

"Well, you don't seem to know her very well! She practically hates me. The more I'm gone the better. If I'm not there, I don't screw everything up, and she won't have anything to yell about!" Bulma frowned, then sighed.

"You just don't get it." Gokuu nearly growled.

"No, your right, I don't get it! She yells at me when I'm there, so I leave, then when I come back she yells at me for not being there, what am I supposed to do? She wants me to be someone I'm not. She wants me to go out, get a job and be normal, well you can just tell her I'm not, ok? Tell her that for me will you?" Gokuu advanced on Bulma, letting out frustrations he never knew he had.

"Everyone depends on me. I can't let them all down just to please her! That wouldn't be fair! Besides I love fighting! It's a part of me, I'm a Kami-damned Saiyajin whether I like it or she likes it or NOT. I was born with a tail, I used to turn into a monkey in the full moon! I'm NOT normal! I CAN'T be! And if I don't fight then number one: you'll all DIE including her and the son she says I NEVER do anything for, and two: I'll want sex MORE than I do normally, which is saying something, and WHY can't she give a little too? I'm only one person, FOR KAMI'S SAKE! WHAT DOES SHE WANT FROM ME!!! I KEEP HER ALIVE AND MY SON TOO, MAYBE IF SHE WOULD JUST SHOW SOME-"

"MAYBE" Bulma interrupted, "there's more to happiness then being alive. What's the point of waking up every morning if you cry yourself to sleep every night?" Gokuu stopped. The anger flooded from him and was replaced by the pain again.

"What?" he never knew that. Every night? Bulma frowned more deeply causing her eyebrows to twitch. She went over to her desk and picked up a book. She thrust it into Gokuu's hand.

"Get a clue." She said.

~~~

and so I have to say before I go

that I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I use to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

~~~

Gokuu read the book on the roof of Capsule Corps. Every time he turned the page, the pain in his chest grew sharper.

***May 26

Gokuu-saa is coming home today! He was with Vegeta training, and now Vegeta's home, I just got off the phone with Bulma. He should be home any minute! Gohan's excited too. He's too young to not see his father for that long of a period of time, what if he thinks Gokuu doesn't love him? Oh! I forgot to get dinner!

-Chichi***

He never knew she kept a journal. The Journal went on to say he didn't come back. Gokuu tried to think back and remember why he didn't, but he couldn't.

"If she gets so excited, then why does she always yell at him me when I do come home." He asked no one. He soon found out the answer.

**July 2

Gokuu has a talent, and I'm not talking about fighting. He has a talent for missing things. Well, for one he always misses when I want sex. It comes and goes, and him not being here, he always misses it. That's not so much the problem, it's more when I'm lonely and I feel like I want him there so badly I can't stand it, but he doesn't come. Then in the morning, I get so ashamed at myself for depending so much on him, when let's face it, he'll never be there. So I yell at myself, and I get so mad, and then he shows up and I go off.

I hate this. I hate…me."

Those words struck him. She hated herself…Gokuu thought back to the last time, how he left while she was still talking. His view changed a little and he began to think about Chichi in a different way...

He imagined being stuck at home waiting for someone who wasn't coming, making a dinner and waiting to eat it with them, only you never do. He imagined sitting on the side while the people you loved were facing dangers like he and Gohan faced and not being able to do anything but sit and worry.

He imagined worrying how to feed two Saiyajins with no money and the cupboards getting emptier and emptier and having nobody there to help... He imagined loneliness. Loneliness like he made her feel. The pain in his heart got sharper still. If he caused all that, then why did she stay? He wondered.

Gokuu thought and thought. He didn't have to get a job to feed them. If he only thought about it, he could bring home more fish, and get fruit from the places around their home Chichi couldn't get to.

He could save the money from tournaments to send Gohan to school, or buy Chichi a washing machine so she would have more time to go with him, not during battles or serious training, but maybe camping, or just flying around. Gohan would like that he knew, but what if Chichi didn't? He didn't know.

"That's the point." He told himself "You don't know. You never tried." He felt the tugging pain increase again so he could hardly take it. He felt like crying, but couldn't seem to find anything but empty space.

He tried to think of the last time he cried. It was when he was a kid. He cried when he saw his Grandpa. He cried tears of joy. He sat there on the roof of Capsule Corps. wondering and thinking. As the sun came up, another thought hit him. If he was going to be around her more then he wouldn't always miss when she was horny! And if she was happy, she'd stop yelling all the time!

Maybe it could work! He thought excitedly. Maybe they could both be happy. He stood up and stretched. He resolved to try for her.

The Aching in his heart had stopped.

~~~

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I use to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

~~~

Gokuu jumped down from the roof and sensed quickly around for Chichi's ki. She was back home. That's odd, he thought, but he was too happy to care. He rushed home as fast as he could fly, (without going Super Saiyajin). He landed in the front yard. He saw her car and sensed her ki and knew instantly that Bulma was there. Good! He wanted her to know too. He wanted everyone to know, even Vegeta!

"Chichi!" he called coming through the door. "Chichi? I need to talk to you!" He came into the living room as she and Bulma did. "Hi Bulma." He said glancing at her for a second before returning to Chichi and promptly spilling his guts.

"Well I was thinking about it and Bulma yelled at me and Vegeta kicked me in the face because I was watching you and you were crying and that makes me mad because your always crying but if I stopped making you cry you'd stop crying but I always thought I couldn't because that would mean not fighting and wearing a really boring suit and that would make me cry well probably not but I wouldn't be happy and then I thought maybe I can do both and If I'm happy and your not crying and do you like camping `cuz I want you to come and Gohan too because I love you guys more than anything and I want you to be happy and I'm never going to do anything to make you cry again" He leaned forward and kissed her, putting his arm around her back.

"You are aware you said 136 words without using any punctuation…?" Bulma muttered.

When he pulled away he looked into Chichi's eyes. She was…crying. Gokuu was so confused and his heart started hurting again.

"Chichi?" he furrowed his brow. What now? She grabbed his hand and led him to the couch. She looked at Bulma who nodded and went outside. Chichi looked down at the floor. Gokuu put his hand on her face and she looked up at him.

"I'm leaving." She said. Gokuu's breath flooded from his lungs.

"Ch-chichi? Why? Don't you believe me?" he looked at her, his mind reeling, she had to believe him, she just had to! "Chichi I'm going to take care of you, I'm gonna make you happy!" Chichi smiled a forced smile at him then pointed her eyes back at the floor. She shook her head gently.

"I've always depended on you…to be happy. I can't do that anymore. I need to make it on my own." She stopped and choked back more tears, she failed and they ran down her cheeks. Gokuu used his shirt to wipe them off. "Gohan and I are moving to the city. He will be able to go to school and have friends his age. You can come see him, I promise."

Gokuu was dumfounded. His mind was still clutching his vision of their happiness. His new plans faded into dust, and hung defiantly on the clock.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

She leaned forward to hug him. He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her gently. He knew it was a hug goodbye. He tried to be angry, but he couldn't. He just wanted to hold on and never let go. He swore to himself that he never would.

And then he did. And she was gone. Gokuu sat there on the couch staring at the door. Without moving or his expression changing, or shedding a tear, he cried.

~~~

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I use to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

~~~

A year later Gokuu stilled cried dry tears at night. He never told anyone. He just waited on the couch staring at the door, wishing she would come home.

Things had changed. When a Saiyajin resolves himself to do something, it gets done. Gokuu entered every tournament with a cash prize anywhere and everywhere he could find them, and each month he left the money in an envelope in Chichi's room with a note saying "for Gohan."

Once a week he would go and take Gohan somewhere. Sometimes training, sometimes camping or driving, Gohan was getting really good. Gokuu did every thing he could to stay out of Chichi's way. The last time he saw her was at Gohan's last birthday party, four months ago.

Gokuu reasoned that he had everything he needed to be happy. Gohan was healthy and happy, Gokuu still sparred with Vegeta, Chichi was doing what she needed to be happy. His chest ached like it did daily nowadays. He wasn't.

He still flew aimlessly around, but now around the city, always looking, never knowing what for. One day he decided to fly down and see how Bulma was doing. He hadn't seen his friends in a while either. He landed and went inside. He found her in her office sitting at the desk. A man came in, and promptly left when he saw Gokuu standing there.

"Don't worry about him, I told him to leave when buff guys with black spiky black hair come in the window. He still doesn't understand that I mean Vegeta." Gokuu wasn't listening. His mind was back on that day he had yelled at her. He looked up and looked at Bulma. She read his hopeful eyes and answered before he asked.

"She's doing fine." Bulma said. "She says she's just about about got things figured out. She misses you." she added. They spent their time reminiscing and laughing about adventures. Somehow they got on the subject of his and Chichi's marriage.

Gokuu remembered; that's all he did lately. He had promised to marry her; he thought a bride was a kind of food. She came back and let him have it for forgetting about it. They fought together in the Tenkaichi Budokai. He kicked her ass, but it was still fun. It was weird at first, but Gokuu found he wanted to marry her. And the first time they had sex, Gokuu was so confused, but one thing ran clear as he looked down at her. This woman was his and always would be.

And when he was fighting, with the world on his shoulders, she was always in the back of his mind, and he was never afraid, because nobody was scarier than his wife! And when he was nearly defeated and he wondered why it was worth doing, why not just die, she was among those who came into his mind telling him to give it all he had.

He loved her, and he may not understand a lot of things, and maybe he was stupid like everyone said, but he knew himself, and he knew what love meant. The one you love is your reason. Your reason for every thing. The reason you laugh because know one can make you as happy as they can. The reason you cry because nobody can make you hurt like they can. The one you love is the reason you are the person that you are. The one you love is the reason you change the person you are.

Gokuu found himself telling all of this to Bulma, and when he was done he left Capsule corps. happier than he had been in a long time.

He flew towards home. He went a little past and dived into the water. He grabbed hold of a fish as big as himself. He pulled it out of the water and cooked it with a ki-blast. He went home, his tummy momentarily satisfied and found himself at his front door, looking in at his house.

He stepped in and turned around. Still as stone he stood there, staring at the door. She was the thing missing in his life. She was the reason for his misery, for all of the pain he had felt over the past year.

But undeniably, she was the reason he was still breathing.

And he stood there, his eyes locked on the Capsule house door, waiting for his life to come back.

He stood there all night.

~~~

The Reason

By Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I use to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I use to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I use to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

~~~

owari

~~~

ZE END! How did you like it? *somebody in the crowd hollers "boo!" CO takes out a gun and shoots them** anybody else?????