Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Scheme ❯ [Insert clever title for chapter 3] ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: Yay! I remembered to put a disclaimer! But I don't remember ever owning DBZ, so I probably don't (`cause even I'd remember that! ^-^)

Last time: The ferrets (also known as Itachi-jin) discover that their operative was discovered by B & V. They are currently heading towards B & V's ship, cloaked and ready to go...

~*~

"Set course for their ship, shields and cloaking device up."

"Hai, sir!" responded the Itachi-jin who had delivered the report. He scurried off to the control bridge to relay the orders.

~*~

When Buruma came to on the ship several minutes later, she rose to find Vegeta gripping the fer- No, Itachi-jin-by the leg, and glaring at it. She turned to Vegeta nervously and asked, "Er... Does that thing actually *talk*?"

"Of course it does, onna. Why shouldn't it?"

"Well, maybe... BECAUSE IT'S A *FERRET*!"

Vegeta glared at Buruma. "Get it right, onna. `Itachi-jin.' They're a race of beings that hire themselves out to do tasks for other races."

"What, like mercenaries?"

"A bit. But they don't fight, they do other things. Like *spying,*" he added, glaring at the golden creature in his grasp. "Or whatever else their buyer orders. They are a highly intelligent and technological race. This operative," he nudged the ferret, "could have sabotaged our ship if I hadn't caught him. Who knows, he may have already."

Buruma paused to absorb this information. Then something struck her. "Why are there Itachi-jin on Earth as pets? Or is that just a similar species?"

"Hmm..." the ferret squeaked. "Earth? Ah, I remember. Itachi-jin, or "ferrets," as you call them, were sent to that planet several years ago. However, we caused the native species to believe we were also native inhabitants of that planet, because we are also strong telepaths. We sent false memories in their minds of them owning "ferrets" as family "pets," as a way to infiltrate the average home. The mission of these Itachi-jin was to use there telepathic abilities to influence their owner's musical preference. This works particularly well in the mind of children and teens. We cause them to favor our clients music, and disregard all other types. This happens to all people who are exposed to a "ferret," whether they know it or not. They will begin to listen to "Pop" music, which means "Pre-Ordained Preference." Catchy, ne?"

Buruma's eyes bugged out at this revelation. "Sheesh... I'm glad I never had a ferret..."

Suddenly, the ship's alert system began to go off. "WARNING. WARNING. THE FERRETS ARE COMING[1]."

Buruma blinked. "That's an odd alarm."

After a moment, she realized that this probably was not something good. She ran up to the controls to see what was happening.

"Hmph," Vegeta grumbled. "Even this stupid ship can't get the name of the species correct."

Buruma threw him a glare while she tried to adjust the controls. "Well what would you expect? It was programmed off Earth software, and no one on the planet-Well, besides you-has even heard of Itachi-jin!" She turned back to the controls. "What the hell? I can't pick up anything on the radar, where *are* they?"

"They probably have their cloak up, onna. It shields them from radar and even renders them invisible on sight. I told you that they are technologically advanced."

"Well *excuse* me! The only other time I've ever seen that kind of cloaking devices is on STAR TREK!" Buruma fumed.

"Star trek? Well, yes, I suppose we are on a bit of a trek across star systems..."

Buruma sighed, "This is why you should do other things besides training. You're missing very important things, like TV!"

"Oh, so sorry, I suppose I should get out less," Vegeta said with a mocking smirk.

Buruma rolled her eyes, and turned back to the computer display. "Well, if your goal is just to make kids listen to pop, why are you following us? We aren't exactly your target group, and you'd have to be thick to reveal your plan like that."

The Itachi-jin commander grinned another one of his disturbing `ferret-smiles.'

"We have a different mission now - after all, we've succeeded in brainwashing a majority of the population on Earth. This mission is a bit different, but sadly, we can't inform you of its details. Good day."

The transmission cut off. There was a momentary silence, until the ship was rocked with an explosion.

"Ahh!" Buruma shrieked as she tumbled across the room. She landed on Vegeta, who had floated a bit in the air to avoid the turbulence. Gripping tight onto him to avoid the turbulence, Buruma squeezed her eyes shut until the ship stopped shaking after a final explosion. She opened her eyes slowly and glanced around the ship. She just stood still for a while until the silence was interrupted.

"Onna?"

She looked at Vegeta to see what he wanted, and saw him looking down at her curiously. She suddenly realized she was still gripping him tightly around the waist. At this, Buruma blushed and jumped off Vegeta quickly.

"Sorry, Vegeta! I, um, zoned out there!" she said with a nervous chuckle. "I think I'm going to go check if everything's okay in the other rooms... Yeah."

She dashed into the bedroom, embarrassed. However, a stray thought made her smile a bit. `He was blushing too...'

~*~

And then Kakkarot showed up and Vegeta killed him! And Furiza came back to life and Vegeta killed him! And then Vegetasei reappeared, along with the Saiyan race, and Vegeta took over and ruled it rightfu-

VEGETA! Get away from the computer NOW!

Vegeta: *innocently* Why, whatever do you mean?

I told you not to write in my fics!

Vegeta: No you didn't.

...Okay, maybe so, but STILL! *sigh* Sorry about Veggie, folks, ignore that last part.

Vegeta: No, don't ignore it! It's the truth! That is how it went! WHY WON'T ANYONE BELIEVE ME? *sobs* You don't believe me, the readers don't believe me, the penguins don't believe me...

Penguins?

Vegeta: Yes!

Penguins: Doobee doobee dooo...

Kirby: <(O_O;)>

Nice young men in clean white coats: We're sorry, the insanity level here has risen far above the allotted maximum. We're going to have to bring you in to the `home.'

OH NO! They're coming to take me away, haha, they're coming to take me away, hoho, hehe, haha, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful - *trails off as men in white coats drag her away in straightjackets*

[1]That's sort of an inside joke (Though I don't know why I put it there, none of my friends know my FF.net SN) My AIM screen name is TheFerretsRComin ^^ That was a random moment of insanity when I decided I needed a new SN a few months ago :D Hehe

Wow, I finally updated! Sorry, school is horrid. ;_; I have Pre-calc, Advanced Bio II, Advanced Biochemistry, Honors English, Japanese... You get the idea. And my teachers are cruel... Anywho... Meep. That was challenging to write a serious-ish part... And it wasn't even very serious! I am the anti-serious. You'd understand if you knew me; in my vocabulary, "serious" is just some word that rhymes with my favorite Harry Potter character! ;p Well, hopefully I'll manage to get another chap or two written up over Thanksgiving break… Maybe I can write it off as `homework' so I have an excuse to get away from my family :p