Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Sweet Scent of Passion ❯ Mad Science ( Chapter 5 )

The Sweet Scent of Passion

by Orchideater

Warnings: NC17, yaoi, het, yuri Y/Gk, Gk/B, Gk/CC, Y/G/B/CC, implied G/V, and enough Y/B bickering to make it screamingly obvious why they broke up.

Disclaimer: DBZ and all DBZ characters property of Akira Toriyama and official licensees

Summary: G/CC/Y/B This is a *Dragonball* comedy sex fic. You have been warned. Also seeks to answer questions such as: Why is Chichi so cranky and crazy? Why do G+CC seem to have little intimacy? Why did they only have 2 kids when CC wanted many?

A/N: NOTE!!! Out of necessity, I’m making up a word for those animal people in the DB world; you know, like the dog-like fellow who’s emperor of the world, and that little fox boy con artist that Goku befriended as a child, and Soba (Shu?) of Pilaf’s gang. I’m calling them *dobutsujin*. Dobutsu means animal, and -jin means people in Japanese, so that sounds like a pretty logical name to me. :) At any rate, I like it and it’s what I’ll be using from now on.

---

Chapter 5: Mad Science

“She doesn’t smell right!!!” Goku exploded, shocking them all into silence.

“When I’m with her, it’s wrong,” he said shakily, disturbed by his own revelation. “And yours is wrong, and his is wrong, a-and when I have that extra, th-the ki to get past it I’m okay, but it-it– the scent and the feel– it’s just wrong! It’s unnatural!”

“Scent?” Chichi whispered, pale. “You want a special perfume? Tell me what, Goku. J-Just tell me what you want and I’ll wear it! Vanilla, roses, gardenia, pine– what?”

Goku ground his teeth in frustration, staring at her helplessly. “I-I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I... Augh!”

He’d had enough. He swept off the bed, unable to look at any of them, and stalked off naked out of the house. Those left behind gaped like fish.

After long moments, Bulma broke the ice. “Wha... What was that all about? A wrong scent?”

---

“Yeah,” Yamcha trailed off, still staring at the doorway Goku had left through. “He said my blood tasted funny, too.”

“Maybe you should still do some tests on his hormones, Bulma-san,” Chichi said miserably.

Roshi stepped to the fore then, silencing them with a wave of his hand and a stern gaze that gave rare testament to his master’s status. “Quiet, all of you. I’ve had my suspicions for a long time, and what Goku’s said and done tonight only confirms them.”

Light shimmered across his glasses dramatically. “I have decided,” he said, pausing for effect, “that Goku’s not human.”

A moment of shock.

“N-Not human...” Bulma stammered. “Are you serious, old man?”

“I am. At least not entirely human.”

They traded glances of surprise, doubt, and concern, all trying to formulate some sense out of the bizarre situation and Roshi’s explanation for it.

“That sounds crazy,” Yamcha said, “but somehow I can believe it. I mean, we knew that Goku wasn’t normal from the beginning, and just look at what we’ve seen from him tonight. So many times he seemed to act like an animal– that growling and vibrating that was almost like purring, the biting, the way he reacted to touching the tail spot.”

“Just look at my arms,” he whimpered, holding them out. “They look like they got caught in an industrial meat grinder. But you know what’s weird? They’re not bleeding, and they don’t even hurt anymore.”

Bulma waved him off. “Oh, quit trying to be macho.”

“I’m serious! They really don’t hurt. Do you think Goku has something in his saliva that’s like, a painkiller and a healing agent?”

“Let me see.” She grabbed for his arms to closer inspect the bites.

“Ow! Well if you poke at them like that they hurt!”

“Now, I think you’re jumping to conclusions,” Chichi said sharply, interrupting their antics. “A little strange behavior and you’re trying to take away my Goku-san’s humanity. He looks perfectly human. How could he be anything else? And what’s all this about a tail spot?”

Bulma raised a brow and gave her a wry look. “Chichi, you knew Goku had a tail.”

“I knew he was wearing a brown monkey tail when I first met him...”

“He wasn’t wearing a tail, that was flesh and blood, Chichi.”

“It... It was real?! I thought he was wearing it and pretending it was real, like it was some game of his! It wasn’t there other times. I thought he just took it off.”

“No, it was cut off– cut off a couple times actually, ‘cause it would grow back. Only when Kami removed it did it stay gone.”

“S-So he had a little deformity...”

The older girl held her chin and tapped her face, pretending to look innocent. “I don’t suppose you know either that he used to be able to transform into a giant ape.”

“GIANT APE?!”

Bulma shrugged. “Guess you didn’t know that then.”

“I’m going to faint... not human... giant ape... please tell me you’re joking.”

Head shakes all around.

“What is he then?! I’ve never heard of a person who looks human all except for a tail and strange behavior and turning into a weremonkey.”

“I thought that maybe he could be half dobutsujin,” Roshi said. “Or at least have some dobutsujin blood in him.”

Yamcha’s eyes widened. “Half– Hey, maybe you’re right! Wait, are there even any monkey dobutsujin?”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Bulma argued, her scientific mind taking over. “How could he be half dobutsujin and half human? They’re separate species and can’t interbreed.”

Roshi wasn’t willing to let go of his favorite theory so easily. “Well yes, but maybe there’s a million to one chance against it but it can happen?”

“Even so, how would that explain the giant ape syndrome?”

The group parried suggestions back and forth.

“Maybe he’s someone’s science experiment,” Bulma said, “trying to cross a human with a dobutsujin, or trying to create a human with the traits and powers of animals.”

Chichi suggested a completely different view. “Maybe he’s under some sort of curse?”

“But he had the tail when Gohan found him as an infant,” Roshi reminded her.

“Well, maybe the parents were cursed to have a werebaby and they abandoned him for it.”

“Hey, maybe Goku’s a lost member of a secret undiscovered race of tailed people who live in the center of the earth!”

“Alright, Yamcha, you’ve been reading way too many of those Men’s Adventure magazines. He could be the missing link, or maybe he’s the next step in Man’s evolution.”

“Ooh!” Yamcha said, excited with his new idea. “Maybe he’s an alien. Maybe his planet was dying and his parents were brilliant scientists who built a one-man space pod, and they told him, ‘Oh, little Zorblatt, we must perish but our people will live on through you. Go, and carry on our legacy on a new world!’”

Everyone stared.

“What?”

Bulma cuffed him on the head. “How do you come up with this stuff? ‘Aliens’.”

“Ow! Hey, my theories are as good as any of yours!”

“Oh, I’m so sure!”

“Look, you three. We could debate and speculate all week, but the hard truth is we’re never going to know for sure Goku’s true story until the day someone steps up to claim a boy with a tail,” Roshi determined. “What’s clear to me is that Goku finds none of you attractive because you’re not his kind, whatever his kind may be. He instinctually wants to be with one of his own. Birds call a mate with their certain particular song, rejecting other birds that might look similar. Whatever ‘call’ humans send out, Goku doesn’t respond well to it.”

“Of course!” Bulma exclaimed, pounding a fist into her palm as if to say ‘Eureka.’ “The scent– pheromones! Goku can’t respond to human pheromones!”

“Wh-What’s pheromones?” Chichi asked, dreading the answer.

“A pheromone is a chemical secretion that animals give off in order to influence patterns of behavior and to attract others of the same species, used especially for mating,” she explained.

“Their use is particularly obvious in insects, but it’s been proven that they play a role in attraction between humans and other mammals as well. There’s a lot that we don’t know about them yet, and a lot of research to be done. The right pheromone must be an important trigger for Goku’s sexual response. He can get aroused without it, as we’ve just seen, but it’s difficult. His body must be more sensitive than ours to needing that species-specific pheromone.”

Chichi raised shaking hands to cover her face. “This is insane! He’s a different species... Oh god. If that’s true is it even possible for us to... all my dreams of having a big family...”

The others glanced at each other sadly.

“I don’t know for sure, Chichi,” Bulma said quietly, “but it may not be possible. Who knows how many other differences there are between Goku and a normal man?”

She took a deep breath. “I think I can safely say though, that your chances of having a child naturally with him are... extremely slim.”

Chichi nearly swooned, and Roshi and Yamcha each grabbed a shoulder to keep her from falling over.

“This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening!” she sobbed.

“Chichi... I’m sorry I couldn’t give you better news. Maybe the two of you could find ways to get around it in the bedroom, and if you can’t get pregnant you could always adopt. I know it wouldn’t be the same as having one of your own, but once you bond with a baby you’ll love him just as much... and as a last resort you could always get a divorce or an annulment–”

“Divorce?!” she spat, as though the word were a blasphemy. “No one in my family ‘divorces.’ I’ll make it work, no matter what! Goku’s mine, I won’t give him up just like that.”

Her tone turned from forceful to pleading in an instant. “Bulma, Bulma, please, you said ‘ways around it’ in the bedroom. Isn’t there anything else I can do, or that you could do?”

“Well... well, I...” Bulma paused, eyes growing wide as a brilliant streak of inspiration took her mind captive.

“I’m having an idea,” she said excitedly. “I’m having such an idea. Now, I can’t make any promises,” she said firmly, though the smug determination on her face said otherwise, “but there’s a chance I may be able to create an imitation sex pheromone for you to wear to make Goku want you.”

Chichi’s face blazed with new hope. “Really?! Oh Bulma-sama, please try!”

“Yes! If I take samples of Goku’s sweat, blood, skin cells, and– ahem– other fluids, and then samples of yours as well, I might be able to bioengineer a chemical close enough to the appropriate pheromone for Goku to respond to. He’ll see you as the female of the species, and it may aid your chances of conception as well.”

“That’s a brilliant idea, girl,” Roshi told her.

“Oh, Bulma-san, I love you!” Chichi hugged her eagerly. Roshi spun around to avoid watching them and thus doing something lewd in a serious situation that would get him slapped.

“I’m on fire! I want to start right now.” She scanned the rumpled, dirty bed. “Shoot, I need an uncontaminated sample of sexual fluid. Everything’s mixed together and soaked into the sheets.”

“Well, Goku’s is all over the headboard,” Yamcha pointed out.

“Oh yeah! Perfect! Get me a clean glass or something so I can take a specimen. I’ll come back tomorrow for the blood samples. And don’t tell Goku about this– I want a blind test subject.”

Chichi bustled out of the room and came back immediately with several cups. “You’ll need mine as well, then,” she said, still embarrassed despite all they’d done together that evening.

Bulma gave her a wicked smile. “Yeah, but don’t worry, I know how to get a fresh sample.”

“Ooh, can I help?”

“GET OUT, Roshi!”

Yamcha left them to their work and their bickering and slipped away. After searching out his ki, he found Goku sitting hidden behind the woodpile outside, knees up to his chest and looking uncharacteristically gloomy.

“Goku?” he asked, approaching cautiously. “You okay?”

Goku gave him a weak, unconvincing smile and said yes, then lowered his head again.

Yamcha came over and sat beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder and rubbing for comfort. They sat in silence for long moments, listening to the hypnotizing trill of the evening insects, until Goku looked up suddenly and broke their bubble of peace.

“Yamcha, am I a weirdo?”

The older man’s first instinct was to joke ‘yes!’ but that was hardly what Goku needed to hear during one of the rare times that he felt vulnerable.

“Well,” he said, judging his words carefully, “in some ways you’re very different from everybody else, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

“I guess Chichi’s mad at me, huh.”

“Um, she’s not mad at you, per se, more like she’s upset about the situation.”

Goku frowned and stared down at his hands. “Ever since we started living together, she gets mad at me all the time. It’s like, before she was fine with who I was but now she wants me to be someone completely different. I don’t mean to upset her, but... I mean, this whole marriage thing was all her idea. What did she expect out of me? Why isn’t she happy?”

Yamcha sighed. “Chichi had some very old-fashioned, romantic ideas about marriage and right now she’s frustrated because reality has come crashing down on her head. Both of you barely know each other. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, and for two people in your situation with your differences and the sexual problems, I think you guys are looking at a whole lot of difficulties up the road. Do you love Chichi at all?”

“Of course,” he replied.

Yamcha didn’t quite believe this, so he tried a test. “Do you love Bulma and Roshi and me?”

“Sure.”

“But do you love Chichi especially so?”

Goku cocked his head. “No, I love her like I love all my friends.”

“Ah. Well, what you’ve got then, for you at least, is a marriage of convenience. Chichi’s nuts over you but you don’t feel the same way. It’ll be your decision to stay with her or not.”

“Oh, but I like staying with Chichi, most of the time anyway. She feeds me the most wonderful meals!”

Yamcha laughed and shook his head. “You sure like to keep things simple, don’t you? But seriously, the sex thing is important if you want to make this marriage work. Even if you don’t need it from her, you need to keep her satisfied.”

“But how, if you’re not there to help me?”

“If she starts yelling at you too much, that means she needs to get laid. Take her to the bedroom, tear her clothes off, kiss her and touch her like we practiced tonight, and then you know how Bulma was rubbing herself down there and rubbing Chichi?”

“Yeah.”

“You rub or lick that little button, and instead of using your dick you can stick two of your fingers inside her and draw them in and out.” Yamcha demonstrated the pumping motion in the air. “Gotta be really gentle when you do that though. Just experiment with different things and see what she likes. That should keep her happy. Okay?”

“Okay!”

“You might want to try toys and look into other methods, too.” That is, if this scheme Bulma’s concocting doesn’t work, he added silently.

Goku seemed mildly intrigued by this odd new challenge called “pleasuring Chichi.” But after an overwhelming amount of emotional stress and more touchie-feelies than he’d ever had in his life, all he wanted now was a familiar comfort. “Can we go to the restaurant, now?” he pleaded pitifully.

Yamcha winked and held a credit card up between his fingers. “Sure thing kid. Just leave it to me.” The credit card was Bulma’s, but after all, what’s wrong with a little sharing between friends?

---

Bulma came back the next day for further samples, then holed up in her lab and worked feverishly on her new project. The experiment fascinated her so much that a mere two weeks later, while Goku was out fishing, the group met once more at Chichi’s house to test the final product.

“Voila!” She declared proudly, holding up a decorative glass atomizer that looked no different from any other perfume container. Inside sloshed a thick, clear liquid.

“Here it is. I really think this is the best thing I’ve ever invented. I’m sure it will work! I studied the structure of Goku’s pheromones, and compared them to the pheromones of Chichi and of a normal human man, and effectively altered Chichi’s so the resulting manmade pheromone imitated the structure of Goku’s. There were other fascinating differences in his blood, but that’s another experiment.”

Bulma handed her the atomizer. “It’s very concentrated. All you have to do is spray it on yourself once or twice and give him those bedroom eyes, and he won’t be able to resist you.” She made a small spritz into the air above them to demonstrate.

“I can’t believe it’s so easy!” Chichi exclaimed, then wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, it’s musty. Are you sure Goku will like this?”

“Who’s the genius in this room, again? I’m positive he’ll like it. Now go on, Goku could be back at any time.”

Chichi squealed in excitement, took the bottle and then dashed off to the bathroom to get ready.

Bulma grinned and basked in her own success. “Oh, I’m so happy for her! I should do matchmaking endeavors more often. It feels great to help two people get together. I wonder if I could duplicate the results for human pheromones and create a real life Love Potion Number 9? Can you imagine the money we’d make?”

Yamcha sweatdropped as he imagined an entire population enslaved by the effects of the love potion. The world would be infinitely fucked up overnight.

“Eh, even if you could do that, how ‘bout you don’t, Bulma. I’m not even sure this project now will turn out the way we hope. When we had that foursome, Goku was trying to be awfully rough–”

“You never take any interest in my experiments, Yamcha. You could be a little more supportive and have some faith in my abilities as a super-genius!”

“I do have faith in you! I’m just saying I don’t think this potion thing is a good idea.”

“Oh, you have a better one? You’d rather Chichi go her entire marriage without her husband wanting her?”

“No! I’m saying maybe it would be better if I taught Chichi how to use ki like I can. You never listen to me, you know?”

“You never listen to me! Chichi doesn’t want to bother with all your stupid training, she wants Goku to want her so they can have sex the normal way!”

Roshi sweatdropped as they went back and forth. Not another fight. “Now, kids, just calm down...”

The bickering continued indefinitely until Chichi emerged from the bathroom in a silk pink robe, her makeup done and her hair down and brushed to a shine.

“Okay,” she said, giddy as a schoolgirl, “what do you guys think?” She opened the robe for just a moment to flash them the black negligee she wore, tasteful yet slinky and skimpy enough to be racy. “I bought this in town– I was so embarrassed! Oh, and I made this.”

She pulled a short, thick branch that had been stripped of all its bark out of her pocket. “If Goku has to do that biting thing, he can bite down on this.”

“Good planning, Chichi. And I like that lingerie, it’s nice and classic. Now I wonder if we should do your nails...”

Chichi retied her robe and approached them, and only then did the cloud of musk that surrounded her hit their noses.

“Phworr, how much did you put on, Chichi?” Yamcha asked, waving a hand before his face.

“Oh, I don’t know. About ten puffs.”

“Ten?! That’s too much, Chichi! I told you to use one or two.”

“Well, I wanted to make sure it would work,” she said defensively.

 “Hey, guys, cool it,” Yamcha interrupted. “Goku’s ki is heading this way fast.”

“Eee! Hide, hide!” Chichi panicked, fluttering her hands about. “And you do realize I expect you all to leave once we’re sure this works,” she added crossly.

“Oi, Chichi!”

The group froze as Goku appeared around the corner. “I’ve got dinner– oh, all you guys are here again. I didn’t know you were coming.”

Roshi, Yamcha, and Bulma gave him sheepish little waves, afraid to budge.

“Th-They just came over to drop something off for me, no big deal, Goku-sa.”

Chichi ran into the bedroom, discarding her robe on the way, and sprawled out on the bed. “Goku-saaa!” she sang. “Drop that fish and come heeere!”

Goku spared his friends a questioning glance before handing the fish to Yamcha and walking off to the bedroom. “Does it smell strange in here, you guys?”

Three heads gave frantic shakes “no.”

He picked up Chichi’s dropped robe and sniffed it, and stood in the doorway staring at her.

“Goku, what do you think of my special outfit?” she crooned, winking at him and pursing her lips mischievously.

“That’s a funny shirt, Chichi,” he said flatly, eyes drooping and face going slack. He stepped inside. “It smells good in here. Smells like... smells like... what is it, Chichi?”

“It’s my new perfume, Goku! I think you’ll like it. Come closer and take a good long whiff.”

Those outside crept quietly to the door and peeked their heads around the frame to see what was going on.

Goku dropped the robe and approached her, face darkening with each step. “Chichi... You smell... you smell good.”

Chichi stood on her knees on the edge of the bed, gazing up at him eagerly. He grabbed her by the upper arms. She closed her eyes, tilted her head up for a kiss... and received a harsh bite on the shoulder.

She let out a yelp and swatted at him but he refused to move, sawing his teeth into the spot and cleansing with his tongue. Her hand scrabbled across the nightstand for the branch, but unfortunately the clumsy efforts only knocked it off and sent it rolling under the bed.

“Ah– OW! D-Dammit, Goku, no! That hurts! I’ve told you–”

She stopped short as Goku drew back and looked down on her, his dark gaze ablaze with animal lust. Her eyes grew huge with both horror and wonder. That was not the face of her sweet husband.

A lion’s growl rumbled out of his barrel chest, diminishing slightly into a low, harsh purr.

“Woman,” he rasped. “Woman... my woman. Mine...” He pushed her backwards, sending her to land on the mattress on her back with a bounce, then snarled loudly, clenching his fists and throwing his head back as a flare of ki evaporated his clothes into oblivion.

“Oh, wow, Goku is ready to go,” Bulma exclaimed, drinking in the sight of that fierce cock straining for the sky as Goku advanced on the prostrate girl.

“My woman. Mine!” He leapt on the bed, his sudden weight causing it to dip and creak dangerously. He grabbed the material of her negligee with both hands, and with one rip it was gone faster than the eyes could see.

“Awk! Goku, that cost 50 zenni! N-Now take it easy, Goku. I want you, but you’ve got to take it easy.”

He pressed down on her, snuffling at her skin, breathing in all over her arms and chest and neck.

“Do you hear me? Goku! N-No more of that biting.”

Goku bit her.

“OW! Augh, dammit!” she cursed angrily, pushing against him in vain. “Bulma, you clod, you’ve turned him into a brainless sex beast!”

“That’s such a bad thing?” she replied breathlessly.

“Bulma, I told you this was a bad idea!” Yamcha hissed in her ear. “What if he hurts her?”

“Oh, get real. You heard him. She’s his woman. Many animals bite during coitus but the male of the species wouldn’t do real damage to the female he thinks will bear his children.”

“But she’s not his species! He thinks she’s as sturdy as he... is...”

They froze as Goku stopped sucking on Chichi’s arm and glared daggers at them. Bad idea to make that sample spritz into the air– specks of the formula had drifted down and landed on them so they smelled faintly of the musk.

Intruders? Competition?!

“GET OUT!!!” he roared, ki exploding around him like a firestorm.

The three voyeurs nearly wet themselves.

Bulma grabbed the men by their shirt collars. “Well, I declare this experiment a huge success! Capsule Corp always delivers. Enjoy your new husband!”

“This is not a success! You get back here and fix it! I wanted a husband in bed, not a wild animal! Bulma!!!”

“Hey, you wanted Goku to want you, right? That’s what you got. We’d love to stay for tea and all, but I don’t think Son-kun wants us here.”

“W-We’ll leave these three senzu on the dresser just in case, okay, girl?” Roshi stammered, doing a bad job of trying to sound nonchalant.

“You bastards! Get back here and help me!”

Goku hunched over her possessively, his purr cycling up into an angry growl, his eyes still locked on them. Every hair bristled high, and he snarled without removing his teeth from Chichi’s arm. “Get... OUT!!!” A ball of ki began forming quickly in his hand.

“Eep! So, we’ll see you around then, Chichi! Let us know how it went!”

“I’ll get you for this, Bulma!”

Bulma dashed out of there, dragging Roshi and Yamcha behind her, just seconds before a ki blast scorched the spot where they’d stood.

They hovered around the area for a time, monitoring Chichi’s ki to make sure nothing drastic happened to her, then finally went home, since from the feel of Goku’s ki he had no plans of stopping anytime soon.

Five days later Bulma was drawn out of her lab by the insistent, irritated honking of an aircar outside. She went out to find Chichi, in an old aircar of the Ox King’s, laying on the horn. When she saw Bulma, she stopped.

“Chichi! We were beginning to worry about you guys. Are you okay?”

“You left me, you bitch!”

“Hey, if we stayed Goku would have torn us apart. Why were you honking like a crazy person, why didn’t you just come up to the house?”

“Because I can barely walk!”

She noticed the pads of gauze taped over her cheeks to hide the still-healing bite marks. “Why do you look so roughed up? We left you senzu.”

“I took them, but every time I thought Goku was done he threw me down again! Three days he went nonstop. He’s still passed out cold right now.”

“Hey, you were the one who put on too much! I can try to modify it for you, make it less concentrated. I can tweak the formula.”

“Just forget it. You can keep this crap!” Chichi hurled the bottle of formula at her. “I’ve had enough of Goku’s dick to last me a lifetime. Goku and I will find other ways to be intimate, and we will adopt. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to pay a visit to Madame Odelle’s sex shop.”

Chichi kicked the car into gear, slammed her foot on the gas, and peeled off angrily in a cloud of exhaust.

Bulma sighed and looked over the atomizer in her hand. “Oh well, at least it worked. Maybe I’ll still try to tweak it. Someday she might change her mind...”

Bulma found other uses for that tweaked formula in the future.

Yamcha and Bulma continued their rocky love affair, until after one especially loud, nasty, and hurtful argument Yamcha went out and did the one thing he know would piss her off like no other: he fooled around with the Capsule Corp gardener– Chad, the gardener– and made sure she found out about it.

After the initial explosion of righteous indignation on both sides, the screaming, the accusing, the throwing of breakable objects, they exhausted the bitter feelings from their systems and talked it out. To their amazement, they got along better as “just friends” than they ever did as a couple.

Both were shocked to find that Chichi’s tribulations had paid off, in the form of an adorable little boy named Gohan that was, unfortunately, woefully overprotected because she feared he was the only one she’d ever have.

They were even more shocked to find that of all the potential explanations they’d offered for Goku’s origin, the improbable ‘alien’ story was the one that turned out true.

And six years after that most unusual day, Goku found himself trapped in a stabilizing hospital cocoon with all his bones broken after the greatest battle of his life. Unable to move or even go to the bathroom on his own, he was frustrated and bored out of his mind.

So as a last resort, he talked. Chichi was out and at the time he had no visitors, so the nurse was his victim. He told her all the details of his incredible battle with the saiyans, how he’d gotten injured and how they were going to wish his dead friends back soon.

The nurse smiled pleasantly and nodded. She asked him questions as she prepared his meds and allowed him to talk, but didn’t believe a word that came out of his mouth. Men would say anything to impress a pretty nurse.

The king’s army had destroyed the aliens, of course. Like the doctors, she was convinced that he’d been caught in a plane crash or was a survivor of one of the destroyed cities.

“So let me get this straight, honey,” she said, humoring him. “You fought the big boss alien, and beat him, but you let him go?”

“Yeah, my son and my friends all helped. Krillan wanted to kill him, but, well, I asked him not to.”

“Why would you do that, if he was a crazy killer who murdered three of your best friends and blew up our cities?”

“I guess it was kind of stupid and selfish,” he replied, giving a lopsided grin, “but then again I was half-passed out from the pain and wasn’t exactly thinking straight.”

“Ah. Well, you won’t have to worry about any of that for now, honey, cause it’s time for your morphine.”

“But no, really,” he continued, as she smiled sweetly and filled yet another syringe. He was starting to hate those things with a passion. “I realize now it was probably dumb, and don’t get me wrong, I’m furious with him for what he did. But he was such a great fighter– it would have been such a waste to destroy him. I wanted to fight him again.”

He looked away as she injected the series of meds into his IV. “Maybe somehow he could change, like Piccolo. I don’t want to believe he’s all bad.” Goku swallowed thickly.

“He’s my kind.”

He felt his body grow heavy, felt the drugs pulling him away from the waking world to float in the warm grey void of a dreamless sleep.

“Besides,” he said slowly, just before slipping into oblivion. “He had... the most wonderful scent...”

---

A/N :p Finally done; this fic seemed to take me forever. I hadn’t initially planned on it, but I am going to write a one-shot sex comedy sequel to this story to tie up some of the loose ends (of which I think there are many *sweatdrops*), about Goku and Chichi’s sex life and how they manage with their “difficulties.” So look for that sometime soon. ;)

Thanks so much to all my readers! I am surprised that so many people enjoyed it (a happy surprised). And special thanks to all that reviewed:

To debbiechan, Gutterball, LisaB, girlinthecurl03, thePrincesJewel, Kinoha-sama, Elenek, TheRedeemer, Webtester01, Bardockgurl, MeLY, and passionscented at MediaMiner;

To Dr. Spleenmeister and Xero Sky, at Saiyan Secrets;

To Dharmaserenity at Saiyan Slash;

To Makota and Majin Sue at the DBZ Fanfic Salon;

And to Pixelgoddess, Renzuite, Camaro, Firefly, Felix, Rena’Sama’, and Vegata at The Yaoi Hotel.

(Some people reviewed multiple places but you get what I mean.) Thank you everybody! Here’s hoping those who read and enjoyed and *haven’t* reviewed yet will still review.^^ Oh, and thanks again to Renzuite for the G/CC fan art, which is at the Yaoi Hotel www.gotyaoi.com,image no. 291, if you want to see it.

Goku: What a weird fic. So I have to have saiyan smell in the air to have sex?

OE: No! It’s just much harder for you to have sex without the pheromone to ‘activate’ you. Hence the ki stimulation. And you only went nutty on Chichi because Bulma made the solution so concentrated and Chichi used so much.

Goku: What about my sons?

OE: They’re half human so they can get turned on without it.

Goku: What about Raditz? He was here before Vegeta and he was a full-blood saiyan.

OE: *sputters* We’re not going the incest route in this story! Besides, the real scent doesn’t make you attack the person in a lusty frenzy, just *enables* you to become aroused. A subtle but important cue. That’s your ‘call’ that tells your instincts that you’re with the right type of person, like Roshi mentioned about the birds. I once read an article for class that talked about a certain songbird that had gone extinct all except for one male, and he would sing his song, just sing his little heart out for a mate that would never come. *huge sniffle* Isn’t the saddest thing you’ve ever heard?!

Goku: Oh, you’re right! *sobs and hugs OE* I was that little bird!

OE: Ahhh, don’t touch me or I’ll start thinking of self-insertion lemons! Don’t be sad, baby, you have Vegeta and all the half-saiyans now, and don’t cry, you’ll make your pretty face all red and puffy.

Goku: I don’t cry! That was just for effect.

OE: Look, there’s Vegeta right now. *points to Veggie lounging on a platform, surrounded by shojo sparkles and sniffing a rose, looking way too much like James from Pokemon*

Goku: Vegeta? What are you doing here? You weren’t in this fic.Vegeta: A tragedy, I know. Orchideater called me here. She said a huge throng of my fans would be coming to properly worship me.

OE: Yes, that’s right. Now just get up on the platform and look pretty, Goku-san.

Goku: ??? *he does so, sees a line of other bewildered, previously dead saiyans*

OE: *bangs on pie tin and becomes a carnival barker* HEAR YE, HEAR YE, step right up, fans of all pure-blood saiyans! Get your Eau d’ Saiyan “tweaked” formula right here! Only $10 a bottle! Make these muscle studs your slaves for nights and nights of hot monkey sex!

Vegeta: AHHH!!! You, you con artist! *turns white at the swarming horde of fangirls stampeding for him* I can’t handle *that* many!

Goku: *sweatdrops at moderate sized line for him* Heh, I’ve never been so glad to not be as popular as you.

OE: What are you talking about? *points, Goku sees the line goes around the corner into infinity with the addition of his Japanese fans, not to mention the guys at DBZHentaiMen*

Goku: Oh God! How’d they find me here?!

Vegeta: Kakarot, a wise warrior knows when to fight and when to retreat. And now is the time to RETREAT!

Goku: Gotcha.

G+V: Aiiieee!! *run into the horizon, fans on their heels*

OE: *swimming in money, singing Elvis song* I knew I’d go from rags to riches...

THE END