Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Way I Was Before ❯ What it Feels Like to be Me ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter Five

Bulma threw open the living room windows hastily, allowing the late evening breeze to ease into the fibers of the house.The smell of the air reminded her of summers when she was a child, and she suddenly longed for them.
Vejiita's behavior at dinner should not have surprised her, but it had unnerved her.Abrupt exits were a specialty of his, and he was good at them…a little too good. However there had been something else in his eyes that evening…something she had never seen before.Before she could place a name to it, she heard noise emanating from down the hallway towards the GSR. She tensed and clenched her fists, making a move to sit down on the couch quickly.Bulma fumbled for the remote and flicked on the TV, hoping that whatever was on it looked engrossing enough for her to have been watching for quite a while.
Thankfully, it was simply a sit-com, and she held her breath.Kami…he's going to sense my ki anyway, I don't know why I even bother.But she still attempted to play the part as his form entered the living area slowly and royally. It was as if his very presence could bring the strongest of men to his knees.She guessed it had much to do with how he was brought up to present himself. Bulma reminded herself of the look in his eyes as he had fled from the table earlier, and she bit her lip…wondering why there had been fear in the eyes of the Great Saiya-jin no Ouji.
A whiff of his scent accosted her senses as he passed through the living room and into the kitchen.Bulma's eyebrows rose slightly in apprehension…would he ignore her this evening as he had every other night before last? Silence resounded through the house, ironically, like the beating of a drum…but perhaps that is my heart in my throat…Bulma forced back the anticipatory lump in her throat and waited…waited for something, for ANYTHING, for Kami's sake!
There was a small breeze at her neck as Vejiita's form exited the kitchen and stood behind the couch. Bulma's skin prickled up into goose bumps and sent a wracking shiver from the top of her nose down to the soft tips of her fingers and toes.It was as if his very presence demanded attention, and reverence.It always had been that way…from the very beginning.She listened intently as his slow breathing became the only noise in the room…the television had long since become invalid.
And then there was a rush of musky air as he knelt down beside her ear and brushed his lips to it.And the answer is…apparently Vejiita will not be ignoring me tonight. It seemed as though a surge in his ki had ignited the air with a yellow brilliance, and she could suddenly sense his frustration as if it were a palatable substance in the room. He took a deep breath, and lifted his nose by her ear and then his fingers to both sides of her neck and tilted it to the side ever so slightly.
"I want to ask you something…"he murmured, the noise sent a barrage of sensations into her body, and she tightened her hands into fists against the soft material of the couch. With a great deal of effort, Bulma managed to create some semblance of proper speech, and she opened her lips slowly.
"What's that?" She whispered, closing her eyes to the gentle strokes of his fingers on her skin.They came to rest upon the mark he had continued to leave on her neck so many times over the last ten years, and she shuddered.
"Do you find…that I really have changed all that much?" he asked, bringing his mouth down to the heated flesh of her neck and caressing it gently in ways she never knew possible.Bulma drew in a shaky breath and tried to keep her hands at her sides.
"Well…" she started, then gulped down the arousal that had embedded itself in her throat, "considering when you-first came to earth you-wanted to blow it up, I'd say you've changed quite a bit."
The soft chuckle that rumbled in his chest was like a shock to her senses, and she let her mouth come fully open until she nearly let a moan escape.Vejiita lifted his mouth to her ear again and licked at it once, slowly…softly and sensually.Then he said,
"Didn't you ever wonder why I was…" he paused, and lowered the tone and volume of his voice considerably, "the way I was before?"
Bulma let out her breath in a quiet sigh, and let her eyes slink to their corners.It had crossed her mind more than thirty times a day, she was sure…but explanation was never something Vejiita had been good at. Was he about to offer her one?
"Occasionally…" she breathed, letting her head move to the side even more as he began to plant small kisses on her skin.There was a lull in his breathing, and he stretched out the soft fingers of his other hand.
"You were confused…when I left this evening.Weren't you?"
"You might say that-" Bulma gasped in her last breath as Vejiita brought his teeth down gently on her ear.He really did have a way of communicating emotions through touch and sense rather than words. He had said so little over the past five minutes, and yet so much had been revealed by his actions that it sent her body reeling, "but not surprised." She finished breathlessly. He chuckled again and reached down to her side to pick up her tense arm and hook it around his neck.Then, trailing his fingers down the soft skin of her upper arm, he spoke, the quality of his voice like nothing she had ever heard in her life.
"I want you to know what it feels like…what it feels like to be me…"
Bulma felt her neck crane backwards toward the drawing, thick and rich sound of his voice.Never, in all her days of knowing him, had he spoken in such a way. It sounded as if he had reached down into the deepest, most dark depths of his tortured soul and spoken words he had never meant to speak.Bulma turned her head to the side and leaned into his waiting mouth.
"How do we do that?" She asked, a mountain of unanswered questions in that one spoken one.His lips closed around hers once, and he suckled gently them.Once parted, he opened his eyes and took both her cheeks in his big hands.
"Bulma-I want to bond with you."
Slowly, he ran the tip of his nose from her chin to the top of her forehead, and then back again until his lips met hers for a second time.After a few seconds, she opened her eyes and took his own face in her hands.
"Bond…?" she asked slowly, then let her lips curve in an amused smile, "you've never been very good with bonding to anyone…"
"That's not what I meant, kuso baka," His words grew thicker and more intense with every passing second, and the smile fell from her lips.He drew her face so close to his that there were no other images before her but that of his black eyes, "I mean I want to bond with you…to see your thoughts.You would see mine."
Bulma felt her world diminish to the feel of him as he threw his leg around the back of the couch and came to kneel beside her on it…his hands never left her face.Her mind spun in a million directions trying to decipher his actions, his words.
"Wha-how…how do we do that?" she sputtered feebly, feeling her throat close in utter desire for him when he licked her top lip.
"Just relax-" he whispered heavily, "it is a Saiya-jin mating ritual; you won't know how to do it.Just let me…just let me."
Bulma nodded, and barely had time to eek out a reply before his mouth descended on hers fully, drinking of her lips the way a child would drink from its mother.Damn those gentle kisses…they make me his…everytime.Vejiita let his arms come around her slowly, and he lowered both of their burning bodies down onto the soft couch.Bulma felt him kick up his ki a couple of notches until it glowed a gentle gold-she widened her eyes even as he continued to make love to her mouth. The last time he'd done that it'd been an accident, and she'd nursed burns from it for a week.He seemed to sense her apprehension, and he released her lips momentarily.
"I said relax…" he chuckled again and forced her to rest her head on the pillows of the couch.Vejiita let his hands graze her sides, and then the soft skin underneath the light material of her sweater until his fingers seemed to burn at the very tips. Bulma moaned softly against his mouth and tangled her fingers in his hair at the feeling . . .and then let her eyes snap open widely as she realized that his finger tips were indeed burning. She whimpered and closed her hands around his face frantically.He opened his eyes then, gazed into hers until it seemed that they were endless pits of black.And then the world fell away around Bulma's body. As she opened her mouth to scream in terror, nothing exited the gaping orifice of her mouth.No sound, only the deafening silence of the void through which she now traveled.The couch vanished beneath her, and she was suspended in darkness-
A small boy, looking to be about seven or eight, appeared in the corner of the darkness, a gentle wind touching the flaming upward swoop of his hair.A cape shrouded his back until he turned to her and held out his hand.
"Do not be afraid. . ." he said quietly, then their fingers touched, and Bulma felt her terror die away with the feel of the child's tender flesh.
There were spaceships, thousands of them, shooting off towards the stars as fast as fireflies in the summer.The small boy pointed to them, and spoke in Saiyago,
"ALL of them, Father? Will ALL of them go to other planets? . . .some day I will become a powerful warrior, Father.I am the chosen one . . .I will be the next Super Saiya-jin!"
Then there was a grunt of pain, and the little boy's hand was ripped from hers in an instant.There was a cackling laughter and a flash of purple and white. Bulma shuddered at the sight of Furiza, and forced her eyes away from his repulsive, lizard-like form.A hand came back to rest in hers . . .cold and clammy . . .wet and-and-
She shrieked as the small boy lay at her feet now, his only support that of her hand.He was bloodied from head to toe.He gazed up at her through the sweat-soaked strands of his once magnificent hair and cried out in pain. Bulma knelt before him and touched his face.
"No . . .no, oh no!" She sobbed, seeing the man she loved within the young eyes that so helplessly begged her now for relief and salvation.Voices plagued her head like disease, mocking her . . .mocking him.
Look at you now, little Prince! Who'd have guessed your race would have been so easy to subdue!More laughter . . .that incessant laughter, joined by the leering of so many others-little Saiya-jin Prince!Monkey Prince of a weakling race!Don't look at me like that, Monkey Prince . . .don't you know what I do to little primates who disobey me?!
And then the boy was a young man . . .his features changed and deepened.A scowl began to replace the once smooth, happy features of the boy's face.He looked to be seventeen or eighteen, no more. The young man glanced at her, a look of pure disappointment on his face, as though she had betrayed him.He looked away . . .Vejiita looked away from her and crossed his arms, fading into the blackness behind them. Bulma fell to her knees and buried her face into her hands as far as she could, trying to shield herself from the consuming dark.Was this the dark corner of Vejiita's mind?The part of himself he would not let anyone see?
Red, so much red filled the space she occupied, the she had to now blink to see correctly.Vejiita's still youngish form stood at an opposite corner, arms crossed in typical fashion.And then he doubled over. His anguished scream accosted her ears and ripped them to shreds.Bulma screamed in protest and forced her body to run to him.Once there, he turned to her and forced her away . . .
You idiotic animals!!A heavy foot came down upon his silky tail . . .Vejiita's voice became hoarse with pain-So you think you won't be working for me now that your planet is gone . . .now that you've become Prince of a dead race, you bastard little maggot?!You call this a TAIL, MONKEY PRINCE?!
And then he lay before her, his tail limp and defeated across his belly; slashed beyond recognition as an appendage, and a clump of bloody mess.Vejiita twitched in an unconscious fit of fever, and Bulma sniffled, reaching down tentatively to touch his soaking forehead.Once she had made contact, he arched his back and cried out . . .tears streaming down his face.And then he was gone once more.
"Oh, my Kami . . ." she whispered, wiping some more of the wetness from her own cheeks.
And then, there was Chikyuu-sei . . .green and radiant in all its glory.And Son Kun, standing not one hundred meters away, facing Vejiita.There was a look of blood on their faces . . .of death and rage that could only be mirrored by one of their kind.Then, there was a golden glow, and Son Kun was a Super Saiya-jin.
Vejiita's enraged scream filled her ears, her heart.Bulma felt his anger as if it were becoming her own emotion, and not his.The tearing sound of his voice made her tears spill down her hot cheeks and hit the sand beneath her as loudly as coins against a tile.His pain, his humiliation, his rage . . .all of it was becoming a part of her. Moving inside of her like a storm, Vejiita channeled all of his being into her mind.
She sobbed aloud with the intensity of it, and clutched at the material of her sweater, trying desperately to ease the flaming pain in her stomach.And then it was gone, as suddenly as it had begun.A soothing blue light began to fill the hot agony in her soul, and Bulma lifted her head, panting heavily with exhaustion.A pair of white boots stood before her lowered eyes, and then a gloved hand reached down to her. She took it, and was lifted into the arms of Vejiita, perhaps a few years younger, but still the man she had come to know him as.
And then his lips were upon hers . . .soft and inviting as they always had been, though his exterior was hard as a rock.It was as it had been the first time.His hands unsure, though insistent--and his body resistant, but heavy with desire.And his thoughts ran fluidly through her mind, like the gentle trickling of a stream . . .
There is too much at stake for me . . .for her. If I give my heart-usari tolenga ya-if I give her my heart-everything I ever cared for is dead, gone-if I give her my heart-it would hurt too much to lose her . . .perhaps I truly am weaker than I thought-if I give her my heart-I am no more than dust in the wind-I am dead. And so is my heart.
But his hands would not agree, nor would his body, or his mouth.Bulma felt her tears mingle with the sweet taste of their intertwined tongues, and the taste of him.Vejiita, my Kami, forgive me.I could never understand.
And then, the blue faded to darkness, the dark into the light.And Bulma felt the soft couch under her body again, and the heat of his heaving chest against hers. Sweat soaked both of their bodies, and their mouths were barely touching.A scowl was not present on his face, and it was the finest phenomenon she had ever laid eyes upon. Vejiita's black eyes scanned hers for recognition, for safety, and she touched his face tenderly.There was silence in the room, save for their heavy breathing, and Bulma took his face in her hands, bending it down and kissing his forehead.
"Vejiita," she whispered against his burning skin, "h-how . . .what happened?"
His head rested on her chest, and he brought his hands back to her sides; squeezed them tightly.
"Gave you-" he took a deep breath and swallowed, "I transferred my ki-took yours.In this, we have shared our memories, our thoughts-our very existence.And we will share it now, forever."
Bulma traced the back of his neck against his hairline and gazed up at the ceiling, taking in his information.Confusion still hinted on her brow, and she nuzzled his ear.
"Now what?" She whispered in reply, still breathing as though she had been underwater the entire time.She traced a finger up the fine lines of his back, felt him shiver underneath her touch.He groaned softly and lifted himself up.
"You will see . . .soon enough," the smirk had returned, and Bulma could not help but smile in return.She was at least grateful that the nightmare of his memory was over.And then her smiled faded.
"I have seen all I need to see," she said, her voice tainted with a sorrowful regret, "I am guilty of too many things.But most of all that I was unwilling to see why you . . .why you are . . ."
"It is done," he interrupted with a heavy hiss, "speak no more of it-tonight at least." Vejiita lowered his mouth to her neck and made a trail of kisses down to her collarbone, "to finish the ritual, Chikyuu-jin, we must mate." He brought his head up to face her again, and his eyes glinted in the light. Bulma smiled, and remembered the little boy in her vision . . .then the young man; both of them beaten and bloodied before her like meat.She creased her eyebrows and let her smile die, then touched his face once more.
"I will never hurt you, Vejiita," the hushed tone of her voice echoed lightly against the walls of the room, and his jaw clenched.He then seemed to dangle off the edge of control, until it was regained in his eyes, and he nodded.
There were no more words as they helped each other rid themselves of all the restrictions of clothing.Vejiita wasted no time tonight, no time . . .as the searing heat of him rested between her thighs, Bulma felt her hips rise to him almost of their own free will, and she embraced his hips with her legs. Sliding into her with the ease of breathing, and a low moan, he suddenly snapped his head down and sunk his teeth into her neck . . .the exact same spot as he had so many years ago. She bit her lip to avoid the scream of pain, and then pleasure that bubbled inside her throat, and dug shaking fingers into his back.Her body began to respond to him more quickly than she was sure it ever had, and her arms fully encircled his neck, hanging on for dear life.And then, a voice rumbled in Bulma's mind, her heart . . .but not her ears.
That's right . . .you'd do well to hang on tight this time.I don't know if I can be gentle tonight . . .
Bulma gasped at the tingling sensation it sent through her head, and fought wildly to understand how . . .how she could hear his voice as he stared at her and did not move his lips except to dance with her own. Her eyes must have given her away, and Vejiita chuckled aloud.
"Don't be afraid," he smirked again, and she nearly bucked him off of her in annoyance.He laughed softly and claimed her mouth again before she could respond.And he had spoken the truth-as his hips rocked against hers, his thrusts became more intense, more heated.It had never been this way,ever.And Bulma reveled in it--in the sheer primal force of his need for her, and her desire for him.They began to breathe in perfect synch with one another. Each of his thrusts were met with hers, and she saw him clench his teeth and squeeze his eyes shut as he threw his head back and growled.Bulma let her eyes shut, as she could no longer keep them open due to the heat of her own blood. As Vejiita lowered his neck again and buried his mouth in the crook of hers, she heard his voice again, but did not feel his mouth move against her skin.
Cry out, Bulma . . .you know you want to. Just cry out, just once . . .let it be my name.She could hear his evil smile even in her mind, marveling at this new wonder, she couldn't help but let a small giggle spread in her throat,
"I can't . . ." she replied, the heavy lust in her voice evident, "Trunks-!"
Lethear it . . .maybe he'll learn something.And the both of them laughed aloud, but Bulma playfully bit at his ear.He chuckled in her mind again,yes, bite me . . .you remind me of a Saiya-jin female when you do that . . .do it again.Bulma raised her eyebrows and then closed her eyes as he continued to thrust into her, and he gripped her hips possessively,do it again-he spoke to her again, and she complied without any more hesitation. She bit a little harder on his ear, and then down to the corded muscles of his neck.He grunted aloud and ground himself against her harder as she bit down. She made sure not to break his skin . . .but let her tongue sooth the new indentation by running it across him.The force of their lovemaking made her close her eyes once more, and she reached down, gripping his backside and forcing it against her. Their soft noises of pleasure brought each to an apex of enjoyment, and Bulma felt Vejiita brace himself against the other end of the couch.
You're so insistent tonight, chibi onna,he chuckled again,come on, then . . .finish it with me-come with me this time, Saiya-jin no oujo . . .tell me when.Bulma moaned softly in his ear, and tried to voice an agreement. It seemed to be enough for him, and he quickened his pace.The very feel of him sent her over the edge, and she released a cry that reverberated in the living room.
Now . . .now now NOW!Her mind cried out to him, and he heard it, as clearly as she had heard his voice.The surprise in her veins mingled with her impending release, and she cried out again, this time letting his name slide from her lips like a sweet honey.Vejiita growled aloud into her neck and held himself inside her for a moment as he finished his own release with her.
In the afterward, moments passed before Vejiita could gain enough strength to lift his body and shower her face and neck with kisses.Bulma accepted his offering with joy and met his mouth again. Slowly, she pulled a soft blanket from the head of the couch and wrapped it around them.Leaning back, and cradling his head on her chest, she stroked his back. The scars that had always marred his magnificent skin suddenly did not seem so foreign to her any longer.

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