Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Trials and Tribulations of Being Royalty ❯ Kitchen Catastrophe ( Chapter 12 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball/Z/GT. I do not own any other licensed products that may appear throughout this fan fiction piece.

~*~Here are the results from the home economics class. There are some things you need to know. First off, each look at the class happens simultaneously and will meet up at the end. You should get it when you read it. To address one review, it's not so much the school that links the two classes (Gym and Home Economics). If a teacher is unable to show up for a class for whatever reason and no substitutes are available, a teacher who has that period free is generally called in to substitute for that class. However, with it being gym and the whole insurance and liability bull shit, they have the class go to the free teacher's class. Had the math teacher been available, they would have had calculus, but this just makes it all the more interesting, ne? ~*~

Chapter 12: Kitchen Catastrophe

"GOKU!!!" Chi-Chi screeched. "What the hell did you do?!?"

Yelling at her equally cooking-incompetent partner, she grabbed a pair of potholders and attempted to smother the soufflé that was now on fire. A scorched and smoking Goku merely stared at the flaming food with utter despair.

Some time in the preparation on their cheese soufflé, disaster had struck. Perhaps it struck in the beginning, or at this unfortunate end. The mistake could have been found in the un-proportioned and missing ingredients or the additives in an attempt to repair the former damage. Despite these mistakes, the soufflé met its end as it set ablaze. No one knew quite how it happened, but it did. No matter how it was put, the soufflé was doomed from beginning to end.

Chi-Chi continued her attempts to extinguish the flames. However, she soon found that her way was just not the way to go as the cotton potholder was also set aflame. When the Princess noticed this, panic set in, causing her to fling the potholder across the dinette area, towards one unfortunate royal guard.

The blazing potholder landed on the lap of one Richard, the royal guard to Princess Chi-Chi and future general of the Maou Kingdom military operations. Gazing at his lap, which was now on fire, Richard's look of curiosity turned to horror as he stood up, desperately attempting to extinguish his flaming groin. In his panic, the prospect of stop, drop, and roll was forgotten.

After gathering his wits about him, Goku decided that the soufflé was already ruined so there was no point in trying to save it. Grabbing a nearby fire extinguisher, Goku planned to extinguish the flaming soufflé the chemical way. Underestimating the pressure at which the foam shot from the extinguisher, Goku did not hold on the red bottle very well, causing him to drop the fire extinguisher to the floor, spraying the foam all over the counters, Chi-Chi, and Goku.

While Goku struggled to retrieve the run away fire extinguisher, Richard was desperately flailing around in an attempt to extinguish his flaming pants. A foam covered Chi-Chi noticed her panicking guard, so she grabbed a pitcher full of ice water and headed towards Richard, side stepping Goku as he finally regained control of the fire extinguisher. Emptying the pitcher of ice and water on Richard's lap, Chi-Chi was able to extinguish the fire in a most painful way.

After the fire extinguisher was in control, Goku began to spray the counter on which the soufflé lay still on fire. After a multitude of missed shots, Goku was able to coat the soufflé, extinguishing the fire as well as fully covering the counter with foam. Remembering that Richard was also on fire, Goku shot a full stream of foam onto the guard's lap where the fire once was.

In the pandemonium at Area One, Goku had forgotten how to shut off the fire extinguisher. Therefore, the stream of foam headed at Richard continued until the fire extinguisher was finally empty. Collapsing on the ground, Goku looks about their kitchenette. Foam coated the floors and counters as well as the three people working in the area. Smoke poured from the open oven and a destroyed cheese soufflé sat amidst a sea of foam.

Chi-Chi slowly made her way to the fallen Saiyan. Looking down on him, the two could not help but begin to laugh at their predicament. Neither knew how to cook, yet they had received one of the toughest assignments. In their attempt, they had ended up costing the school more money then it would have cost to have gone out to eat, even with the Saiyan student population. Settling down beside her fallen friend, Chi-Chi looked around the kitchen area, surveying the damage. Meeting Goku's eyes, she quirked an eyebrow and glanced over at Richard. Following her line of sight, he found a most disheveled Richard.

Due to the flying potholder, his pants had a number of holes in the crotch area as well as the upper portions of his pants legs and the lower portions of his normally pristine starched white shirt. The normally pale tan kakis were scorched and the holes neatly revealed scorched boxers and some burned skin. Richard's lap was soaking wet as well as covered in chemical foam, his face streaked with soot and foam as well. His normal pristine and composed exterior was broken; leaving a desolate and very messed up looking Richard.

At his appearance, Chi-Chi was suddenly reminded of a childhood expression. Unable to contain herself, she toppled over laughing out loud about the inner workings of her mind. Leaning on Goku in order to catch her breath, Chi-Chi found herself looking into the questioning gaze of her Saiyan companion. Chuckling, Chi-Chi managed to let loose of the phrase that had caused her outburst. "Liar… Liar, Pants… on … Fire!" she exclaimed, out of breath, before collapsing into a fit of giggles, soon followed by Goku.

As the two struggled to compose themselves, Goku found himself lost in her pools of infinite darkness and Chi-Chi found herself locked in a gaze with his equally dark eyes. Slowly the two moved towards each other, gradually leaning towards the other, unable to break their current gaze. Goku closed the gap as he captured her lips with his own and pulled her into an embrace. The kiss slowly escaladed from a kiss of innocence into one of fiery passion.

There, amidst the foam and smoke filled kitchen, the two engaged in their first kiss.

~~*~*Area 2*~*~~

(Pairing: Vegeta and Bulma; Project: Boston Crème Pie)

"Why the hell won't this damn pudding solidify?" Bulma exclaimed as she continued to stir the bowl of vanilla pudding. Vegeta merely regarded her humorously as she dropped her spoon into the bowl of liquid and sighed in defeat. "I have stirred that damn thing for the past ten minutes. It's still like water…"

"And you call yourself a genius?" Vegeta scoffed. "If you put it in that cold box you call a refrigerator, it is bound to harden."

Blushing, Bulma looked up at the Prince, unable to respond. Silently, she picked up the bowl and placed it in the nearby refrigerator. Then, she proceeded to clean up the counter where they had been working. After stacking the mixing bowls, she noticed something that shocked her. "Vegeta!" she exclaimed. "You threw your own trash away! Well, at least some of it," she muttered as she placed the empty box of cake mix into the trash.

"What the hell are you talking about onna?" Vegeta asked thoroughly confused. "The Prince of all Saiyans can not be reduced to doing servant work."

"You are cooking aren't you?" she asked, sarcasm heavily coating her words. "What I mean is the egg shells from when you mixed the cake mix." Looking up at her partner, she noticed the confusion that etched into his face. As an idea struck her, she looked towards the oven where the two circular cakes baked at that moment. "Please tell me you didn't put the egg shells in the cake. Tell me you ki blasted them or something. Just don't tell me you put the shells in the mix!"

Still confused Vegeta glared at her, angry at her tone, at his confusion, and at his current situation. "Onna, you told me to put two eggs in with all of the other stuff and stir it. Why the hell I did it in the first place, I don't know. But what the fuck are you talking about… egg shells?"

Bulma brought her hand up to rub her temple and attempted to compose herself before speaking to her partner. Unfortunately, her calming methods proved unsuccessful as she addressed him. "Damn it Vegeta! You were supposed to put the egg in the mix, not the shell. Are you totally incompetent??? Do you want me to break this down for you? You crack open the shell, you know, that hard outer layer, and empty the liquid into the bowl and then put the egg shells in the trash!!" she yelled in a mixture of frustration and anger.

"How the hell am I supposed to know what the fuck you're talking about? Do I look like I would know what the hell you were talking about? I put the damn egg into the bowl and mixed. You and your pathetic mud ball of a planet's idiotic nonsense." Vegeta growled. "It doesn't really matter now anyways. Just let the baka human eat the damn thing."

Sighing in defeat, Bulma slouched against the counter and began to reflect against her inner turmoil. Over the past week, she had been distancing herself from Juunana. Her feelings for Vegeta had come back with a vengeance, her former decisions with the Saiyan Prince haunting her. The jealousy she had experienced watching his interaction with her newfound friend, the inability to remember why she had given Vegeta up, and countless memories of their time together swarmed her soul daily, confusing the blue haired beauty. Deep down, she knew that the love she had for Vegeta had never vanished, only buried itself deep within, reappearing at the initial threat of another woman in his life. She was now left with a choice, to continue her escapade with Juunana or to attempt another relationship with Vegeta, if he would even take her back.

Awakened from her reverie by the incessant beeping of the oven timer, Bulma watched in amusement as Vegeta attempted to remove the cakes from the oven without the aide of a potholder. She was forced to swallow her laughter as he hastily dropped the pans on the countertop.

After the cakes had cooled, they gathered their pudding and chocolate icing, and hurried to assemble the cake. Finally finished, Bulma stepped back and glanced at her partner, only to find him gazing back.

As their eyes locked, black on blue, Bulma faintly wondered if there really was a choice to be made.

~~*~*Area Three*~*~~

(Pairing: Yamcha, Krillin, and Maron; Project: Pizza)

Leaning out of the window, Yamcha tipped the Domino's Pizza delivery guy and watched as he sprinted out to his car. Getting them to bring the pizza to a specific window at the school had been difficult, but well worth the effort.

After Maron accidentally substituted half of the flour with sugar and the group forgetting about the yeast, the dough itself had been bad enough. However, after burning the pizza sauce and explaining to Maron that candy did not make a suitable topping for pizza, even if the dough was partly made of sugar, the three students quickly realized that ordering the pizza would prove to be their best move.

Krillin slipped the pizza from its box and onto its pan and then quickly slipped it into the warm oven. After the three had cleaned up the kitchen, they seated themselves on the bar stools. Maron embraced her boyfriend and slowly began to fall asleep. Yamcha merely held on to his girl as he too found that time in school was well used as naptime. Krillin regarded his friends, feeling ebbs of jealousy, as he wondered how things were going with Juuhachi.

~~*~*Area Four*~*~~

(Pairing: Juunana and Juuhachi; Project: Pasta with Meat Sauce)

Juunana and Juuhachi exchanged nervous glances as the home economics instructor, Ms. Connors, entered their kitchenette. Due to Juuhachi's quick thinking, the pair was able to cover up some of their mistakes, such as preparing a plate for the teacher so she would eat the better noodles rather then the crunchy, undercooked ones that sat in the bowl and the sauce she would taste lacked the rather large, undercooked chunks of tomatoes. There was little they could do about the excess amount of peppers that were put in the sauce; however, there was a large pitcher of ice water beside her plate for this reason. The garlic bread was also heavy on the garlic, seeing as the lid to the garlic powder had come off when Juunana was preparing it. There wasn't much they could do about that though.

Ms. Connors sat down and appraised how well the food was presented. In a last minute effort, the pair had used parsley leaves to ornate the meal. She then proceeded to add parmesan cheese to the spaghetti. Both Juuhachi and Juunana visibly winced as she sprinkled a generous amount of red pepper seasoning to her plate. "I like my pasta sauce hot and spicy." she exclaimed.

Immediately after taking her first bite, Ms. Connors downed a glass of water. Red faced and panting, Ms. Connors refilled her glass and drank again. After recovering, she explained that she must have put too much seasoning to it and that would have tasted fine otherwise. Excusing it as her own mistake, the instructor gave them a passing grade and excused them from class.

Knowing that Ms. Connors had begun taste testing and grading at the far end of the kitchen areas, the twins knew that only their friends remain, so they followed her on to Area Three.

As the group entered the area, they were presented with a delicious looking pizza. The cheese was perfectly melted and the smell was incredible. Shocked, the twins glanced at Yamcha, Krillin, and Maron and then back at the pizza. Only as they drew nearer, did they notice that there were a few scorch marks on the crust signaling that it had been warming in the oven a bit too long. Ms. Connors eagerly retrieved a piece and her eyes rolled upwards in pleasure.

After devouring the slice, she declared it the best home economics pizza yet and earned a perfect score. "You should go to work for one of those pizza restaurants, like Dominos." she said. Turning to leave, she stated that the pizza was to remain there.

Yamcha sulked at the thought of leaving his pizza there, but the idea of freedom from staying after school and the perfect grade replaced this. Following Ms. Connors, the growing group proceeded to Area Two.

Immediately upon entrance, they found the two gazing at each other, not glaring, but just locked in eye contact. Juunana had always figured that his girlfriend still had feelings for her ex, but he could feel the corners of his heart tug upon finding her gazing at him in this way. He figured that the end of `us' would be soon.

Breaking the eye contact, Bulma's cheeks began to glow in embarrassment. Awkwardly, she cut the crème pie, almost severing her finger in the process. Handing the plate and a fork to her professor, she sent a prayer of hope that the piece would not display the access of egg parts that remained in the cake, nor the watery substance she proclaimed to be the filling. The pudding hadn't hardened quite as well as Vegeta had proclaimed it would; then again, it wouldn't have unless it was frozen…

All eyes watched as Ms. Connors took her first bite of her slice of the Boston Crème Pie. Suddenly, her eyes widened as she attempted to cough out the egg shells that were choking her. Acting quickly, Krillin began to hit her back in order to aide her attempts. When her face turned blue from lack of oxygen, Juunana positioned himself and attempted the Heimlich maneuver. After a quick thrust, the remains of the crème pie flew out of her mouth, hitting Vegeta squarely on the head.

The recovering instructor looked up to see the short Saiyan red with anger. The vein on his forehead pulsated as Krillin and Yamcha made feeble attempts to hold back their angry friend. Bulma quickly stood in the way of the Saiyan Prince, shooting him a cold glare before turning to Ms. Connors. "I am so sorry, Ms. Connors. I had no idea that Vegeta's unearthly stupidity would cause such a mess. We are both soooo sorry, aren't we Vegeta?" she forcefully asked, her eyes drilling into him. Nodding his head, Vegeta suppressed his anger and shot a glare back at his female partner.

"Well, I suppose that having Vegeta come from another planet, as well as being royalty does hinder his ability to cook. However, Ms. Briefs, you are of this planet and definitely not royalty. Being the daughter of Capsule Corporations founder is no excuse for such a simple mistake. I will not hold the two of you after school, however, your grade will be sufficiently low and I do not want to see either of you in any of my cooking or home economics classes. Is that clear?" the instructor asked red with anger.

Colored with embarrassment, Bulma bowed her head in shame as Vegeta merely smirked. Abandoning the kitchen, the group headed towards Area One, led by a huffing Ms. Connors.

Ms. Connors's shriek interrupted Goku and Chi-Chi's passionate embrace, forcing them to break from each other. Greeted with countenances of incredulity, the pair blushed with embarrassment of being walked in on. "What the hell is going on in here?" their instructor screamed.

"Well, you see Ms. Connors. Me and Chi-Chi… well… we were kissing…" a blushing Goku answered as he rubbed the back of his head in a sheepish manner.

"I believe the screeching harpy is asking what happened to the kitchen, baka."

"Ohhh, Hey Vegeta! I didn't see you back there. Well, you see I happened like this. The soufflé thingy caught fire in the oven and when Chi-Chi tried to put it out, she set something else on fire. And when she threw that, she set Richard on fire..." he said waving towards the disheveled Royal Guard.

The group burst out laughing as they got a good look at Richard. Krillin and Yamcha collapsed on the floor laughing as Juuhachi and Bulma made their way over to Chi-Chi in order to congratulate her on ruining the lying sack of shit.

Goku continued to tell his story of his escapade with the fire extinguisher as each and every student laughed, with the exception of Vegeta, who was attempting to force back a chuckle and hide his smile. Grinning like an idiot, Goku finished his explanation and looked at Ms. Connors sheepishly. "I guess we really messed it up huh?"

Shocked, Ms. Connors was presented with the foamy, burnt remains of the cheese soufflé. Shaking her head incredulously, she eyed the damage that had been damaged. Noticing her look, Chi-Chi quickly moved in to say that she would pay for the repairs. Ms. Connors shuddered at the thought of keeping the terrible two in a kitchen a moment longer. Quickly, she announced that they were all dismissed.

Knowing that they were getting off easily, Goku and Chi-Chi quickly headed to the parking lot with their friends in tow and a limping Richard not far behind. As they fled the room, Ms. Connors shakily walked to her office in order to answer the ringing telephone.

The booming voice of the Principle, Mr. Hardgrave, flooded the small room. "Ms. Connors, could you please tell me just why a Dominos pizza delivery man came to this school and delivered a pizza through a window to your room? Several staff and students witnessed this display and I am thoroughly disappointed in you…"

His voice droned on, unheard by the home economics teacher as she collapsed into her chair. The receiver of the telephone hung from its base and a voice could be heard distantly, joining the sound of the final bell in sending echoes out into the abandoned home economics class room.

A day in one hell was ending, as another hell began.