Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Unconditional Bonds (revamped) ❯ Analysis ( Chapter 6 )

Chapter Six: Analysis

Piccolo made his way back to his quarters, mind reeling. Questions churned and boiled; questions about his actions, his intentions, but most of all, of himself.

He sat down in an overstuffed chair, one of the few luxuries he allowed himself to have. He bent over holding his head in his hands. Today had been eventful to say the least. A bitter laugh erupted from his throat. Was there still some part of him that was totally gone? Not just evil, but depraved? He tried to remember his youth, it all seemed so long ago, but in reality it wasn't. He didn't feel he was ever evil, just incredibly angry. An angry young warrior who had big ideals of power. But never would he have gone so far as to invade someone as he had just done to Vegeta. He didn't think himself capable of such an act. It stemmed from curiosity. He grimaced, but that's how most of his troubles in life began. Over the years he had learned to control his inquisitive tendencies. How could he have slipped up so much?

Yet, there was something else behind it. If it had been sheer interest he wouldn't have gotten so much, he shook his head disdainfully, pleasure from it. Nothing had set him off like that before. He wondered at himself, `I'm a Namek am I not? Such desires are wasted on me, I'm not capable of it...at least I'm not supposed to be.'

`Well apparently you are,' a voice said in the back of his head.

"Nail," Piccolo growled, " Go away. You're not welcome right now."

`Would you rather I summon Kami? I'm sure he could explain this to you just as well. But I figured you would rather hear it from me, rather than your uncle.'

Piccolo sat up. "Hear what?"

He swore he heard a chuckle.

`You are well aware of Namekian history.'

"Thanks to the fusion with Kami and you," he replied. "What has that got to do with anything?"

`A lot more than you think. You remember how the Namekian race used to be.'

Piccolo snorted. "That was a long time ago, even by Kami's standards. Those old tricks of nature should have disappeared along with the-"

`They are not tricks, Piccolo.'

"Whatever."

A sigh. `Bonding remained on Namek even after the Dark Wind. We are not a heartless race. Why do you think you had the urges you did? Morbid curiosity? Depravation? No...they originated from a much deeper source.'

Piccolo laughed.

"Are you insinuating I'm in love with Vegeta?"

He rocked backwards as his frame shook with mirth.

"That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard!"

If Nail had his own head he would have been shaking it in disdain.

`Is it so absurd?'

"Yes!" Piccolo straightened. "One I'm not gay. Two, I'm a warrior, not some farmer who didn't have anything better to do with themselves other than have a tryst with their brother." He sat back in the chair. "What a bunch of sentimental crap. Thirdly, by being a warrior, I have no interest in such trivial fancies. Fourth, and most importantly, it's Vegeta!" Piccolo scoffed. "That's a whole issue in and of itself. First off Vegeta's not a Namek but a Saiyan, and a prince at that. Not to mention that he's MALE!!! I'm not gay. Forget that he's married and he has a kid. Even if by some stretch of the imagination I was remotely attracted to him, which I'm not, Vegeta's a, how do you term it," he paused, "a manly man, straight as an arrow. One of the many reasons I claim him as a friend. Now if you'll excuse me," he sneered, "I have some serious thinking to do without your pestering. I need to find out what's wrong with me. I'm not gay."

`Piccolo, you have some serious problems, you know that?'

The Namek rolled his eyes. "Yes, and you're one of them."

`You'll come around, you'll see.'

"Yeah and if I had my way, you and the old fool would both be out. Now go away."

Piccolo could feel Nail try to speak but he violently closed his mind off to him. This was one of those moments he regretted fusing with the native of Namek, but at the time he had no choice. He slumped in his chair exasperated. He wasn't attracted to Vegeta, he just wasn't. `I mean I've always admired him, how could I not? But it was just that admiration and respect that turned into friendship. We both know what it's like to fight for survival,' he considered, `We have both known the anger and humiliation of being beaten by a most hated enemy, a hated enemy that in some way or another turned us both. Made us like him. Good? I've certainly changed, but do I consider myself good? Before today I would have thought so, but now I'm not so sure. What could have caused me to do such a thing? Okay I admit it, I like the stupid monkey. But it's an innocent friendship, same as the one between Krillen and Goku, nothing more.'

`Then why were you so worried this afternoon?'

"Oh by the Demons, not you too."

`You cannot avoid me lad, I am forever a part of you.'

"Ugh, don't remind me," Piccolo groaned. He concentrated and tried to push Kami away. For his efforts he received a wizened chortle.

`Nice try, but I'm not so easy to block off as Nail is.'

"To hell with you, old man. I didn't ask for your advice."

`You never do-'

"And that should tell you something-

`Hush now, and listen.'

"Humph" he crossed his arms. "Make it quick, I haven't got all day to listen to your banter."

The elderly voice spoke with amusement, `Yes I know how `busy' you are watching over the Earth.'

"Dende's job not mine, I train-"

`Quiet now and listen to what I have to say to you.' The voice waited to see if Piccolo would object further. Luckily, he was silent, granted it was an angry silence, but a silence nonetheless, which suited Kami just fine. The former guardian spoke in Piccolo's head with grandfatherly softness.

`I know you are confused, lad, I myself was in your shoes long ago. Before I arrived on Earth, while I was still whole with your father, I had a bond with another. He was a great healer, but I was a headstrong warrior and had little patience with his peaceful ways.' Piccolo felt a lingering ghost of regret that was not his own. `I too felt the feelings I had were nothing more than frivolous excesses,' Kami continued. `So I left him behind and came here. Out of all of my deeds, I regret that the most. Don't follow my path, young Piccolo.'

"Oh, enough of this bullshit!" Piccolo exclaimed. "Listen, you and Nail can be as queer as six-toed donkey and that's just great. But this isn't Namek," he pointed out. "This is Earth, where I was born and raised. I consider myself an Earthling before a Namek. Earth's ways are my own, and such behavior is looked on with mistrust. I agree times are changing, but..." he sighed, this was all giving him a terrible headache.

"Look, Kami…and Nail, considering I know that you're listening, I don't feel that way towards Vegeta. He's just a friend."

`You wouldn't allow yourself to feel otherwise because he was bound to another, but now that bond has been severed. I don't think even he realizes that yet. But what has been done has been done. Try to hide all you want, young one. I know you.'

A mixture of amusement and annoyance played on the green man's face.

"Oh do you?"

`Let me ask you one question. If these feelings are just of the friendly nature, then explain to me your emotions when Vegeta sacrificed himself in the battle with Buu.'

"Shut-up, old man! I don't have to explain anything to you."

`As I thought. It's unfortunate that you can't hide your feelings from me, isn't it? I know how you felt when he died, and I know how you felt when he came back to life. You can hide behind the bigotries of Earth all you want, but you can't hide what's in your heart. Love is blind-'

"Deaf, and dumb...very dumb," he added waspishly, "downright idiotic in fact. That's what got Vegeta in this mess to begin with."

`Yes, he is now lost. He will need someone to guide him through the darkness. A friend to lean upon in his time of need.'

Piccolo groaned. Yes, what Vegeta needed right now was a friend. Not someone trying to rape him in the bathtub while he's in a helpless, delusional state.

"Now it's your turn to listen. I'm tired. I have my own personal thoughts to sort through without your and Nail's intrusions. I've listened to what you both have said, now grant me the courtesy and leave me in peace."

`Very well,' the voice became a duo of an elderly crack and a smoothness of youth, `consider what we have told you.'

"Yeah, whatever, off with you."

Like a weight being lifted from his shoulders, his head was clear once more. He sighed. Perhaps he did feel something for Vegeta. A little, tiny something. What was he going to do about it? Absolutely nothing! He would ignore it, and it would go away. The bathtub incident? What bathtub incident? As far as he was concerned it didn't happened. Of course this all depended on if Vegeta remembered anything when he woke up.

Piccolo prayed the Saiyan would get struck with a sudden case of amnesia for the prince's sake, and for his own.

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Author's note: Whew, first six chapters are up. I hope to add more chapters each day as I'm beta-ing this as we speak. So keep checking back!