Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Underlying Conspiracy ❯ Part 03 ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. I'm not making any money from this.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Goku/Vegeta

A/N 1: thank you, Achillona, for Summer Kold and all of her subtleties! ^_^

 

Underlying Conspiracy

 

by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com), beta-read by Veronica

 

Part 3

 

Vegeta turned around at Goku's soft wince. It was dark already, but his eyes discerned Kakarott's tall figure sitting on his bed. He sat hunched forward, his back to Vegeta.

 

Vegeta flared his ki higher to lighten the room. “For fuck's sake, Kakarott. I told you not to fly half naked, you got sunburn!”

 

“Yeah,” Goku agreed. He winced again. “It appears that you were right.”

 

The prince just sighed, his anger gone at Goku's admittance. He turned back to his bed and began to ransack through his capsules. Victoriously holding something in his palm, he motioned for Goku. “Lie down, you stupid thing.”

 

Goku curiously observed the small container in Vegeta's hand. “Cream?” he asked. Then he blinked in surprise at the sting as suddenly Vegeta was next to his bed, his palm pressed to Goku's burnt back, flattening him on his stomach. “What are you doing?” Goku muffled the words through a pillow that was threatening to crawl into his throat.

 

“Shut up and lie still,” Vegeta snorted. He squeezed half the container onto his fingers then pressed them to Goku's back.

 

“Uch!” Goku gasped at the coldness. But after he got used to the temperature, his gasps silenced. His muscles relaxed, his body surrendering to Vegeta's skillful hands. “That feels nice,” Goku muttered after several minutes. His eyes closed at the feel of the warm and gentle hands that were massaging away the pain of his sunburn.

 

Vegeta's brow rose as there began a soft, almost silent purr in Goku's throat. As Vegeta listened to the sound, a strange gleam appeared in his eyes, his hands not stopping their ministrations. He kneaded Goku's muscles at the shoulders then his hands went a bit lower to Goku's back. He drew several circles there, hearing Goku's purr increase and feeling Goku's muscles completely yield under his hands. Vegeta's hands moved lower, to Goku's sides.

 

After Goku's loud and approving groan, Vegeta's hands became even more daring and shifted still lower to slip under the sides of Goku's waistband. The gleam in Vegeta's eyes increased as his hands worked to mold Goku's body into ecstasy. Vegeta leaned even lower, so that he was almost lying on top of Goku.

 

Suddenly there was a scream.

 

Goku startled and shot up from his bed, quickly turning around. He stared at Vegeta who for some reason was sitting on the floor and covering his eye.

 

“You fucker! You almost put my eye out with that damn tail of yours!” Vegeta seethed, covering his left eye and shaking his right fist at Goku.

 

Goku blinked down at him, confused. “What tail?”

 

“That one!” Vegeta extended his arm to point out a brown appendage that was swaying behind Goku's back. As his initial shock faded, Vegeta's hand suddenly faltered. Now he looked exceedingly disturbed. “Your tail is back…” he muttered finally jumping to his feet. “Why?! Why is your damn tail back?!” he almost launched himself at Goku, who stepped back, flattening himself to a wall. “Why is yours back and mine's not?! It's not fair! Why yours?!” Vegeta was almost crying in his fury.

 

Goku scratched his head then blinked. “Yours is back too,” he motioned to Vegeta.

 

Vegeta quickly glanced behind him then turned back to Goku. He blushed fiercely. “I knew that,” he calmly walked over to the table and sat down.

 

Goku rolled his eyes. He joined Vegeta at the table. “Thanks for the massage,” he nodded. “Why do you think our tails grew back?” he asked then.

 

Vegeta stared at the wall across from him contemplating why the painting there reminded him of an omelet. “I have no idea,” he said finally, his eyes switching to Goku. “But I'm hungry.”

 

Goku blinked at the change of subject. “Alright... Me too.”

 

XXXXX

 

The next morning, both Saiyans proceeded with their flight. The rainforest was coming to an end and they were already enjoying the thought of some new scenery. They tried to figure out the mystery of their tails growing back, but didn't manage to come up with anything.

 

Goku sneezed. He rubbed his nose then sneezed again. He felt his eyes begin to water. He turned to look at Vegeta who was flying beside him and had also started sneezing. Goku scratched his head, confused, and sneezed again.

 

“What the fuck?” Vegeta stopped in his tracks and gave another mighty sneeze. He frowned in confusion as a loud sinister laugh echoed behind his back.

 

“Ah, I see my secret weapon is already working!”

 

Goku and Vegeta turned around in unison. Vegeta's brow rose. Goku sniggered. Floating before them was an Ice-jin. A female Ice-jin. Her body was much more compact than either of them had ever seen in an Ice-jin before. Her long, pink hair was fluttering behind her in the wind. The hair perfectly matched her body, which was mostly pink but merged with a light purple in several places. Goku wondered if it was a yellow swimsuit that she was wearing.

 

“I'll avenge my brothers and father!” the Ice-jin shouted, shaking her little pink tail at the Saiyans. “I'll make you pay, you dirty monkeys! I'll crush you like bugs under my stiletto!” she clenched her pink fists.

 

Goku and Vegeta turned to each other, made eye contact and burst out laughing.

 

“What's your name, Ice-jin?” Vegeta asked, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. He was so amused that he had decided to let the Ice-jin live for the moment.

 

“I'm Summer Kold!” the Ice-jin coquettishly brushed her long pink hair behind her ear. “The sister of the mighty Frieza and even mightier Cooler!”

 

“Uh-huh,” Goku nodded. “And I wondered where they had inherited that beauty…”

 

Summer Kold puffed out her chest out even more that it already had been puffed out with silicon. “Yes, it was me who taught them the secret of beauty. I advised my brothers which beauty masks and creams to use to make their natural colors clearer. And…”

 

Goku sneezed in the middle of the sentence. “I hate summer colds,” he muttered, wiping his teary eyes and sneezing into his sleeve again.

 

“Running Nose!” the Ice-jin screamed, releasing a huge gray blast at Goku.

 

Goku easily dodged the blast. “Missed me!” he grinned.

 

The Ice-jin pointed past Goku with her small, long finger. “But got him,” she said in a velvety voice.

 

“Oh my god, Vegeta!” Goku gasped at Vegeta who was sneezing and sniffling and wheezing behind him.

 

“You bastard!” Vegeta sneezed at Goku. “You…” he sneezed again, “…moved!” and he sneezed again.

 

“Sorry,” Goku apologized. He turned back to the Ice-jin. “Let's show her what we can do!” he shouted then.

 

“Bed, I need my bed,” Vegeta whined not showing any of the enthusiasm Goku had expected to hear. “And hot tea, and honey,” he sniffled. “And someone to wait on me all the time.”

 

“Men,” Summer Kold snorted. “All of you are like children! A small breeze and you're sure that you're dying.”

 

“Don't give up, Vegeta!” Goku begged. “No, Vegeta, no!” he said with horror in his voice.

 

“I think I'm dying,” Vegeta sneezed into his sleeve. He slowly began to drift down to the earth.

 

“Don't give up, Vegeta!” Goku straightened. He coughed then. After his sore throat was taken care of he proceeded: “Will you give in to the kind that forced you to serve them? Will you gave in to the kind that killed your father? Will you gave in to the kind that murdered your entire race and destroyed your home planet?!” Goku balled his fist, sneezing.

 

“No!” Vegeta's hoarse voice shook the skies, as his spirit rose at Goku's words. “Never! I'll destroy your freakish-pink race!” he shook his clenched fist at the Ice-jin. “You'll feel my wrath!”

 

Goku quickly checked around just in case someone from the All Living Creatures' Rights Organization could have heard Vegeta's threat. “Hurray!” he shouted to encourage Vegeta only after he was completely sure that no one was watching them.

 

“You fools!” Summer Kold roared with laughter. “I'll demonstrate my new attack for you! Nobody has ever seen it. I have been honing it for years, especially for you! To avenge my family! It's the mightiest attack anybody could fathom. It's so powerful it will tear you apart. It will destroy this…excuse me,” she coughed, “this shit of a planet! You won't manage to deflect it, you won't manage to get away! You'll be torn from the ground! You'll be blasted to dust! Your puny eyes have never beheld anything like this! This is my creation that will destroy the two last full-blooded Saiyans,” she quickly looked around, “not that I'm a racist or anything,” she coughed. “My creation has no mercy,” she proceeded. “The power of the blast is so enormous that yadda-yadda-yadda…”

 

“Did the characters always talk this much in the series?” Goku asked, yawning. “Hey,” he nudged Vegeta in the side when he noticed him dozing. “Don't sleep, we might miss some bullshit about her brilliant attack.”

 

“Uh-huh,” Vegeta rubbed his eyes. “I have a plant,” he said then, after blinking his sleepy eyes for some time.

 

“A plan, you mean?” Goku happily grinned at Vegeta.

 

“No. A plant!” Vegeta sneezed. He rubbed his nose with his already soaked sleeve. “I think it's called garlic.”

 

“Garlic Junior?” Goku blinked. “What does he have to do with this?”

 

“No, you moron!” Vegeta sneezed again. “A garlic clove! The spice! It has loads of vitamin C. Vitamin C gets rid of a cold. Maybe we could kill her like that. The Woman has plenty of them in the kitchen. And look for a lemon. They have plenty of vitamin C too.”

 

Goku nodded and ITed himself into the Capsule Corp. kitchen. When he came back he was carrying a plait of garlic. Summer Kold was still busy thinking of new adjectives for her splendid attack, thus she didn't even notice that Goku had been missing.

 

“Are you sure about the contents of your kitchen?” Goku asked Vegeta. “There's no lemon to be found anywhere in this story,” Goku complained. “But I have plenty of garlic,” he showed Vegeta the plait of cloves. “I heard that it works on vampires, but never heard anything about Ice-jins…”

 

“You have a better suggestion?” Vegeta asked, feeling all of the joints in his body infused with a dull ache. He gave a sign for Goku to start peeling the garlic.

 

“Yes,” Goku nodded, beginning the task, “a Kamehameha, for example.”

 

“It's not logical,” Vegeta shook his head. “Let's start with the weakest attacks. Don't you know the order?!” he snorted. He sighed, realizing that he would have to reveal to Kakarott the true way of fighting. “First a bad guy has to kick your ass until you can't get up anymore. Then you have to think about how the world's at stake and everyone is depending on you. Then you gather all of your strength for one final showdown. And then a miracle (or Senzu Bean) happens, and you, with all your broken bones, wrenched joints, splashed guts and spurting blood, get up. The bad guy then has to look at you with a very surprised face. Then he has to try to kill you again. But you, not caring about your broken bones and almost open entrails, give a long speech about how he's going to pay for his misdeeds. And then,” Vegeta shook his finger at Kakarott, “and only then, do you attack him with all your might and kill him.”

 

“Ah…” Goku scratched his head. “So this is how things work. And I was wondering why the same scenario kept repeating all the time…”

 

“Yes, that's right,” Vegeta nodded. “And a very necessary part is to take your gi off. Well, usually it gets torn off while fighting, but don't forget to get rid of it somehow if it's still on. This part is very important,” Vegeta said seriously, tugging at Goku's gi. “Your pants too,” he nodded happily.

 

“Gee,” Goku scratched his head again. “Seems very complicated.”

 

“I can do the last part for you,” Vegeta volunteered. “The second-to-last too.”

 

“Has she finished finally?” Goku asked.

 

“Don't think so,” Vegeta sneezed.

 

“Do we have to wait?” Goku whined.

 

“Not necessary,” Vegeta shook his head. “Have you finished peeling the garlic?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay, throw the plait on her neck.”

 

“You think it will be so easy?” Goku shook his head. “Maybe silver bullets? Or a cross? Some holy water maybe? Or maybe you happen to have a crossbow? A wooden stick?”

 

Vegeta reddened with anger. “Do as I say!”

 

“Alright, alright,” Goku waved his hands in front of him, “It was just a suggestion…” He coughed VERY loudly to get Summer Kold's attention. “Dear madam,” he began. “I simply couldn't help but notice your pleasant and deep voice. Let me present you with this wonderful necklace as a sign of my adoration. Such a wonderful voice can't go unappreciated,” Goku lowered his head humbly and approached the Ice-jin.

 

Summer Kold blushed beautifully. She let Goku put the garlic on her neck and then fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly at the camera. She adjusted her long pink hair and pursed her lipstick red lips, proceeding to pose for a camera-man who had appeared out of nowhere.

 

“What now?” Kakarott whispered to Vegeta.

 

“We wait until the garlic starts taking effect,” Vegeta whispered back.

 

“How long will that take?” Goku asked.

 

“A week,” Vegeta whispered.

 

“What?!”

 

“Shhh!” Vegeta sneezed loudly.

 

“A week?” Goku asked silently. “Why so long?”

 

“It's the usual procedure - when you get a cold, how long are you sick for?” Vegeta asked.

 

“Well…for a week,” Goku agreed. “But garlic…”

 

“So, you're sick for a week. And if you take medicine, in this case vitamin C, how long are you sick then?”

 

Goku began to count on his fingers, remembering one time when he got a cold and Chichi had to nurse him. “Seven days,” Goku said proudly, after he finished counting. But then he got confused. “So you say that it's the same - if one has a cold, it doesn't matter if he takes medicine or not, he'll be sick for a week anyway?”

 

“Yep,” Vegeta nodded. “It's a very sneaky disease.” He rubbed his red nose.

 

“And what does this have to do with her?” Goku motioned at the Ice-jin who was showing off her long pink legs to the camera-man.

 

“Don't know. It seems logical,” Vegeta shrugged. “Garlic and such.”

 

“I think you're affected by the cold,” Goku sighed. He put his palm on Vegeta's forehead. “You have a fever. I think you're delirious.”

 

“Could be,” Vegeta agreed. “Now I see seven elves dancing,” he pointed with his hand at an empty space next to him. “I don't think that they exist at all.”

 

“They don't,” Goku shook his head. “Though, I'm sure that each Christmas they are helping Santa to pack his sleigh with presents.”

 

“Are you sure that it's elves that help Santa?” Vegeta asked blinking his eyes at the seven elves that were waving at him.

 

“No,” Goku shook his head. “Maybe it's leprechauns. Hard to tell. They all wear green. Anyway,” he decided, “I can't wait for a week. Have you forgotten that we have to get rid of those spirits or otherwise we're all going to die?” Goku straightened. “So, I'll go on as planned. If I remember correctly, first I have to let her beat me, then you'll give me a Senzu Bean, and then I'll finish her off.”

 

“I don't have a Senzu, and you forgot the part about tearing your shirt off,” Vegeta sighed.

 

“Damn,” Goku scratched his head. He turned to Summer Kold who was enthusiastically speaking with the camera-man. “Look,” Goku motioned for Vegeta to look at the Ice-jin. “I don't think that she's even interested in us anymore. Hey, Summer Kold!” he waved to get the Ice-jin's attention. “You fighting or what?”

 

Summer Kold turned to look at the Saiyans. As she had just become the new face of a magical beauty cream called `Sparkle', it was hard to decide between her priorities. “I'm afraid my schedule is too tight,” she began consulting her notebook. “At ten a massage, at twelve the hairdresser…” she muttered under her breath while leafing through the notebook. “I could pencil you in after two months…” she faltered. “Oh, no, sorry, then I have an appointment with my dentist…” She listed further. “Oh, here, after five years. Does that work for you? Same place?”

 

“Yes, it's fine,” Vegeta sneezed. Goku nodded.

 

“Okay,” Summer Kold began writing. “A fight with two Saiyans,” she thoroughly wrote into the notebook, her small pink tongue between her small white teeth. Then she looked around. “Somewhere in the middle of the forest,” she wrote the place. “Or above,” she added. With that, she closed her notepad and approached the Saiyans. Suddenly two cream tubes appeared in her hands. In a flash the camera-man was beside them. The Ice-jin gave a bright, dazzling smile to the camera. “`Sparkle' cream will make your skin soft and healthy. These men had been using `Sparkle',” Summer Kold patted Goku's cheek. “Look at their healthy skin now.”

 

“You really have no time to make that fight sooner?” Goku slapped her hand away from his face. “I don't like Ice-jins poking me.”

 

“Busy, busy, busy,” Summer Kold shook her little head with its long pink hair. “Want an autograph?” she asked.

 

“No,” Vegeta glared at her. “And keep your hands to yourself.”

 

Summer Kold winked at him. “Possessive. Sorry, but I have to go,” then she swiftly flew away before Vegeta could have wrung her neck.

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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