Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Unforgivable ❯ Forever ( Chapter 44 )

Kuroichi purred, his whole body a sensitized mass of nerves, supercharged by the fingers ruffling through the fur of his tail. He was completely unable to move, to talk, his eyes half-lidded, sprawled face-down in Vegeta's huge bed. His purr only intensified when Vegeta asked him if he was enjoying himself, an act that caused the prince to laugh softly before dropping the tail. Kuroichi's mewl of disappointment quickly turned back into a purr as the prince snuggled down next to him, sighing with content.

"If I'd known the only thing I needed to do to get you back was tell you that, I'd have done it long ago," the prince confessed.

The purring broke off. "Huh?" The expression on the slowly raised face was pure Goku confusion, which set Vegeta to laughing again. Kuroichi, mostly still lost in a sensual haze, pouted. "What's so funny?"

"You are, Kuro." Vegeta wiped a tear from his eye, he hadn't laughed quite that hard in… a long time. "You looked so like Goku just then…"

"He's dead." Those words were so flat, so sure, and the purr didn't return when Kuroichi resettled himself in a coil of limbs around the prince.

"Yes, Kuro," Vegeta said, a little sadly. "There can be no doubts, this time. Goku was well and truly killed when you revealed yourself."

"Then why sound… upset? You have me now… forever. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Vegeta was quiet, trying to decide how best to answer that. At last, he opted for the truth. "It is, and it isn't. It is both incredibly complicated and so simplistic that I am not sure how best to explain."

"Go for the simple answer."

"I wanted to kill him." He could feel Kuro withdraw. "Ah, but that is the simple answer, Kuro. You forget, I never called that clown Goku."

"Kakarot. You wanted to kill him."

"No. I… I wanted Kakarot. Wanted him alive, well, and…" Vegeta sighed. "I wanted him to respect me as his prince, as he should. But it was always Goku who answered me… Goku who considered me an equal and a friend, a convenient sparring partner at very near his own level. Kakarot… his memories were well and truly gone, everything about our people forgotten. Only our lust for the fight remained, and that was tempered by his loss of memory and the simple fact that he'd become Goku, instead."

Kuroichi waited. The silence became charged with his tension, he finally broke. "You… never… wanted me?"

"I wanted to kill Goku. Even after he became my friend, I wanted to kill him. I wanted him to be Kakarot, a true Saiyan, I didn't want a simplistic, easy-going child in the body of a Saiyan warrior. When… when I lost my memory, I began to love him. When I regained my memory, I hated him worse than I ever had. I raped him, beat him, nearly killed him. I left him to die. I thought he would. I think I even hoped he would. He disappeared, instead, and I learned that I missed having him around."

Vegeta sighed, stroking his fingers through Kuroichi's wayward spikes. "I started looking for him. A year later, he returned… only to disappear again. And again, I found myself searching for him. Instead, I found the man he'd become. I found you. I miss the spars with… with Goku. I miss watching him eat like there will never be food to eat again. I even miss his smile and his laugh. I am sorry that I will never know what Kakarot really would have been like, had he retained his memories. I have you, I love you. It does not matter that you may never regain your Saiyan memories, or that you were once someone I vowed to kill. I love you." He smiled as he felt Kuro relax against him, the tail that had held a death grip around his thigh relaxing to begin stroking along his leg instead. "I want you, Kuroichi. Forever."