Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Weathered ❯ Weathered ( Chapter 1 )

Hey! This songfic is for the torment Trunks goes through when his master Gohan dies. The song is "Weathered" by Creed. Here it is! Please R&R!

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Weathered

I lie awake on a long, dark night
I can't seem to tame my mind
Slings and arrows are killing me inside
Maybe I can't accept the life that's mine
No I can't accept the life that's mine

Guess what Gohan? You've left me. You were all I had in this world next to my mom. You were my master, but more than that, you were my friend. You were like the father I never had. But you have hurt me the most.

You have encouraged me when I thought I would never make it to the level of super saiyan. You tried your best to keep my hopes up and you trained me as much as you could. You were kind, gentle, and a great friend. But you have hurt me the most. You damaged me and dealt me a blow much worse than any beating the androids could have given me.

You died. I can't accept it. You've left me behind and it's slowly eating away at my heart and my soul. You were my one friend in the entire world. Sure I used to have a few, but those ruthless monsters killed them all. And now they have taken you from me too. But you let it happen.

Gohan, during all the time we were training, I thought I was getting so much better. Yes, indeed I was, but I was ahead of myself. I didn't want to see that the power I had gained was still not enough to defeat them. But now I know. I thought I was doing a decent job fighting them when I helped you fight in the battles. Now I realize though, that I only put myself in danger and caused you more trouble than you needed. I was in the way. You even lost an arm because you were protecting me. I told you I could look after myself, but I knew you were always keeping an eye on me, as if I was a baby and I resented that. This last time though…you made me stay behind. You wanted to go alone. Did you know that you were going to die that day?

Since you died, you have left me your one legacy: to protect Earth. If it were a few days ago, before you died, I would have been eager to prove myself to you and show you that I could handle the androids by myself. But that's not the truth. I know the truth now. I can't fight them alone. If you couldn't…how can I? I don't want to accept the life you've left to me Gohan. I don't want to have all this weight on my shoulders. I don't want to be in charge of keeping the whole world safe from them. I didn't realize just what it was to have the whole world depending on you and you alone. It's a struggle.

Simple living is my desperate cry
Been trading love with indifference yeah it suits me just fine
I try to hold on but I'm callused to the bone
Maybe that's why I feel alone
Maybe that's why I feel so alone

Me..I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal

Now all I can think of is how I want to be anyone but me. I can't fight the way you did Gohan. You could have trained me more. I could have tried harder to become better. Everything was much better when you were here to help me along and give me guidance. You were my lifeline when I needed you there. Now you are gone and there isn't a lifeline to hold onto any longer. I have to help myself and try not to get myself killed. I'm a far to easy target for the androids. I feel so alone. My pain for your loss will never heal. I can barely keep my emotions inside. I can barely keep myself from falling apart, keep control of myself. I just want to lash out at those stupid pieces of trash that run around destroying the world and taking lives. But I can't do it. Not yet. I have to wait and grow stronger. I'm doing this for you I hope you know.

The sun shines and I can't avoid the light
I think I'm holding on to life too tight
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Sometimes I feel like giving up
Sometimes I feel like giving up

I'm just standing here now above your grave. Can you see me? Are you watching my every move like you used to? I hope so. It would make me feel a lot safer. Safer. Yeah, you provided me safety even though I don't like to admit it. I guess deep down I knew I couldn't protect myself very well, maybe that's why I was so grateful to you for helping me train. Maybe I was grateful to you for protecting my mom and I…and the rest of the world.

It's just that I'm not as noble as you, at least I don't think so. I'm not as great a fighter as you were. Maybe someday I'll be, but not just yet. I know you had a great amount of faith in my ability to defeat them. Your confidence in me never faltered. But even though your confidence has kept me going, now that your not here to reassure me that I'm doing well…I just want to give up. I don't feel like I'm making any progress with my training. I'm getting nowhere.

The day reminds me of you
The night hides your truth
The earth is a voice
Speaking to you
Take all this pride
And leave it behind
Because one day it ends
One day we die
Believe what you will
That is your right
But I choose to fight
So I choose to fight
To fight

The day reminds me of you, Gohan. You were such a bright spot in many people's lives. You were the world's savior. The darkness slipped away when you walked into the room or appeared on a newly-made battlefield. No I feel like there is no hope. Why should there be? You're gone.

But even now, I remember saying something like this to you once before. I was in a particularly bad mood that day and had given up on defeating our tormentors. That Android 18 had wounded my pride along with my body that day. You sat there for a minute just looking at me in shock. You couldn't believe that I would give up so easily when it seemed that you never did. The next words that you said have stayed with me ever since that day.

Finally you said to me, "Take all this pride of yours and leave it behind you, Trunks. Get rid of it. It was your dad's weakness. Don't let it be yours. One day everything will end. You'll see. We'll defeat them. But until then, don't worry about dying. We all have to die sometime. But whatever you do, little bro, don't give up hope. You can think what you want about how well you are doing, but I know you're doing the best that you can and that's all that matters. You can think what you want about not being able to get rid of the androids for good. But I for one am not going to give up hope. Too many people have done that already. Instead I'm going to stand up for myself and everyone who can't stand up for themselves and fight. That's what keeps me going. That's why I choose to fight."

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There's more to come with another of Creed's songs called "Faceless Man," so keep checking back and don't forget to review. If you like this story or want to read something sadder, I have another fic called "My December" where Future Trunks mother dies, I almost cried writing that one. Okay, see ya!

~Lady Branwen~