Fake Fan Fiction ❯ All's Fair In War and Love ❯ Chapter 1-A ( Chapter 1 )

Title: All’s Fair In War and Love (Chapter 1-A)
Rating: X
Fandom: FAKEPairings: Dee/Ryo, Ryo/Dee
Characters: Bikky, Carol and OCsWarnings: Yaoi. Adult situations, foul mouths, two men in a loving relationship. No lemon yet, but it’s coming.Spoilers: All 7 volumesSummary: Finding himself once again alone at the supermarket check out, Dee finally confronts Ryo on something that has been bothering him since he first got together with Ryo.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE. Dee, Ryo and the other FAKE characters are the genius of Sanami Matoh.

This fic started as an idea being bounced back and forth between myself and DeeRyoFan on IM. Most of Ryo’s parts in this fic is because of her. Much thanks to her for helping me write this fic.
Part 1-B will be posted shortly.


All’s Fair In War and Love
Chapter 1-A

By Totally4Ryo (with help from DeeRyoFan)


Dee was walking down the aisle of the local supermarket, shopping cart before him already filled with some items. He had left Ryo in the last aisle when his lover was taking too much time over which paper towel product to pick. They went over it a hundred times since they moved in together. Supposedly they had a brand, but Ryo was in a mood to re-evaluate if it was the best buy for money and use.

Idly Dee started down the next aisle to realize he had wandered down a predominantly feminine territory. He started to turn the cart around to trace back his steps when a hand came from behind him to drop the same paper towels they had been using for almost a year, and the ones Dee would have picked up in the first place.

“You’re right, they still are the best all around,” Ryo said.

“Told you,” Dee remarked with a smirk. As he turned the cart, he noticed he was in front of the family planning section. “Hey, how are we on lube?” he asked.

“Running low, but there’s enough for a day or two,” Ryo replied, standing behind Dee. “I think there still should be some of the special stuff left.”

“A day, or a round?” Dee had to clarify. He knew he had a bad habit of using, but not checking until almost nothing came out of the tube. At least Ryo would keep track. Dee sighed. Even if there were times, he would have said nothing about it until almost the last minute.

Still standing behind Dee and peering over his shoulder, appearing in thought, he finally replied, “Better get some. It’s not like it’ll go to waste if we don’t need it now.”

Dee chuckled. “Definitely not.”

“Looks like they have a new brand,” Ryo pointed out.

Dee’s eyes went to where the finger directed from behind him onto the small bottle. Super glide, super smooth, fresh clean scent. His eyes went wide when he saw the price for the size. “You can spend an afternoon debating about paper towel prices but have the nerve to consider this?”

“Well…. It’s not like we haven’t paid that much before.”

“I’m not going to pay $14 for a small bottle of something that has a fresh clean scent and will probably make me slide out as fast as I can put it in,” Dee grumped. “Clean scent for sex.” He peered behind him. “Have you been sending in suggestions?”

Ryo laughed nervously, his eyes darting around to assure they were still alone in the aisle. “Of course not. You know I prefer other flavors. I was just pointing out that it’s new stock here. Not saying we had to buy it. The usual has been good enough for the basics.”

“Basics, huh?” Dee chuckled again as he reached for the generic brand. Ryo spoke the truth, that particular generic brand having been tested and tried to be every bit as good as the brand names sitting on the shelf with it, so long as they wanted a basic lube. At a fraction of the price too. “Three times the amount for ¼ the price,” he remarked. “That means we can spend more money on the real fun stuff.”

Ryo had already started walking out of the aisle to go into the next. Dee sighed as he continued to turn the cart around. He caught sight of some women who had entered from the other side and were now browsing through the feminine items.

After picking up the rest of the items they had stopped off at the supermarket after work for, they headed for the checkout counter. Dee had noticed the box with the lube was tucked carefully among the other items and could not be seen, as it always ended up when Ryo was along and that particular item was in their cart.

They stood in the checkout line, Dee flipping through a magazine he considered buying, while Ryo made sarcastic comments as he went through one of the gossip papers kept near the counter.

When he got up to the register, Dee reached into the cart to place their items on the checkout counter. He pushed the small cart ahead of him and turned back to talk to Ryo.

His partner was not there. Dee did not bother glancing around the store, his eyes immediately going to the sidewalk beyond the large store windows. Dee’s mouth became a thin line as his eyes settled on the familiar figure now waiting for him outside, leaning against the frame between the windows to be out of the way of the bustling pedestrian traffic. While it was nothing they had discussed previously, Dee wondered why he expected his partner to still be next to him.

“Will that be all for you tonight, Dee?” the woman at the counter asked, flashing him a smile.

“Cigarettes,” he replied. “The usual.”

“I’ll be right back then,” she said, her smile becoming more than friendly as she went to get his cigarettes from the counter they locked the tobacco products in.

Dee’s eyes went to the lube still lying on the counter among the other items waiting to be rung up. He let out a sigh, wondering if she was hoping he would suddenly decide to use it on her. Hell, he’d been buying lube once in a while at this store for a while now and usually had her as the checkout. Didn’t she realize he was very much taken? Or consider the lack of any female items meant she wasn’t his type? His eyes went back to the man waiting for him outside, remembering what Ryo had said about the supply at home. He picked up the box and set it discreetly to the side.

She returned, and finished ringing up his purchase, then started to bag the items while Dee took out his credit card to pay for it. ‘The least you can do is hand over the money before running scared,’ he thought as he paid for the groceries, ignoring the signs the woman was giving him.

She pointedly asked him if he had changed his mind on the lube when she noticed it was no longer with his other items.

The woman behind him chuckled, as she had been watching him when he placed it aside.

‘No shit, lady,’ he thought. ‘Did you think I stood here and watched it walk away by itself?’

Signing his name on the credit slip, he simply said, “Yeah, I did.”

Outside the store, Ryo turned to him, taking a couple of bags. Dee allowed it, wondering if when they got home, Ryo would notice the lube did not make it through check out.

Ryo talked on about everyday things and observations as they walked down the street, while Dee quietly smoked a cigarette, grunting non-committal replies to his partner’s comments. Once more, he concentrated on pushing away his annoyance of suddenly being left alone at the counter whenever that particular item was among their purchases. He found this time he was having trouble telling himself it was no big deal, and being able to push it away in his mind.

He replied verbally once when Ryo asked, “Do you want to walk? Or take the subway?”

“Subway,” Dee replied, knowing it was only 3 stops and very walkable. His reply was not only because the bag with the meat was heavy, but he wanted to get home and soon. He needed to get away from Ryo and get control of his growing ire over something as stupid as a tube of lubrication.

On the subway train, they discovered there were no seats, so they huddled together at the far end of the train; Dee leaned against the door leading to another car, attempting to put a little space between them. He hoped no one would use the door. Having Ryo within his personal space was quickly becoming an invasion at the moment. Ryo was standing before him, struggling to keep his bags from hitting the people sitting in the seats close to him.

Ryo leaned toward Dee. “You’ve been quiet,” he observed.

Dee shook his head. “Nothing.”

Ryo studied him. “It’s not nothing. What’s wrong, Dee?”

Dee glanced up at him with warning eyes. “Later, Ryo.”

“C’mon, Dee.”

“Later.”

“Why?”
< br> “Because I don’t want to get into it on a train.”

“Get into it? Are you mad?”

Dee nodded his head.

“At me?”

Another nod.

“Why?”

“We’ll talk when we get home.”

“And put up with you sulking until then?”

“It’s only two stops now.”

“Two stops too long when you sulk.”

“I’m not sulking. I’m just being quiet.”

“The only time you’re quiet is when you sulk.”

Dee rolled his eyes. The silence was like a wall between them. If only there was something solid there, Dee thought, because Ryo moved to close the ever so slight space between them. Dee’s mind screamed to push Ryo away. He needed the distance to convince himself it was nothing to fight over.

The other people in the crowded car were quick to take up the little room Ryo’s movement opened to them. With his back up against the door Dee hoped would not open, and having Ryo now being pushed even closer thanks to the greediness of those behind his partner, Dee fought back the strange sensation of being closed in.

“Dee….”

“One more stop after this one, Ryo.”

“Then the walk home.”

“Only two blocks. Ryo, trust me. You don’t want to get into it here.”

“Why not? What are you pissed at me about?”

“It’s no big deal.”

“Oh? That’s why you’re pissed then? Over nothing?”

Dee tried to shrug. “You know me, making something out of nothing. Let it go.”

“Dee,” Ryo warned with a slight edge to his voice, telling he was losing his patience.

“Not here, Ryo,” Dee replied through clenched teeth, having already lost his.

“Why?” Ryo asked, his eyes meeting Dee’s. “So you can find a way to avoid it later.”

Dee’s eyes flashed in warning. “I don’t hide,” he snapped.

“Right.”

Dee glared in defiance. “I don’t run and hide,” he insisted.

“If that’s true, then why won’t you tell me now?”

“Because I said later. When we’re home….”

“When you hope I’ll forget so you don’t have to tell me.”

“That’s not true. Yes, I pull away at times. To think,” Dee insisted, trying to keep himself from exploding. “To sort things out. Not to freakin’ hide! Let it rest for now, Ryo.”

Unfortunately, Ryo was being stubborn. “No. Tell me, Dee,” he insisted.

Dee had reached the limits of being able to hold back. He tried, but was simply unable to reign in his anger. “It’s about the fuckin’ lube, okay!” he exploded. “After a year, you still can’t buy the fucking lube unless you’re hiding behind your computer. You can’t even stand next to me when I’m buying it. Jesus Christ, Ryo! If you expect to fuck me, you could at least buy the fuckin’ lube sometimes!”

Ryo was not blushing at Dee’s tirade on the crowded train. His face was a pasty white, all blood drained. He was beyond embarrassed and into mortified.

They did not have to look around to know everyone in the car was staring at them. People going to exit the train, as the door opened for the stop before theirs, stared back at them. Some sneered, some chuckled in amusement. Some looked at Dee as if he was a bastard, while others looked at him in sympathy while Ryo was glared at as a brute. More glances told how faggots were not tolerated, had no right to be there.

Dee himself was mortified at his outburst. He did not trust his rising temper and chose to remain quiet until they got home. Damn Ryo for pushing him as he had. Those strangers had more information about them than Dee was comfortable with.

He pushed past Ryo, into the crowd exiting the train. He rushed through the station and up to the street. He did not pause to see if Ryo managed to get off too or not. He ran and kept running; even up the flights of stairs to the apartment he shared with Ryo and Bikky seven floors up.

As he opened the door to the apartment, Bikky got up from the couch. “It’s about time. A kid can starve around here,” he started to complain as his usual greeting.

Dee dropped the bags on the couch next to Carol. “Put these away,” he said, “Ryo will be here soon. Complain to him.” He spun and headed for the bedroom. Once inside the sanctity of the bedroom, he slammed the door and locked it.


Bikky shuddered from the force the door was slammed then blinked at the sound of it being locked. “Sheesh, he’s in a really bad mood,” Bikky said to Carol.

Carol looked in the bag to notice the meat and started to get up from the couch. “Let’s put this stuff away if you hope to eat,” she suggested.

“I wonder what happened?” Bikky asked, following Carol, taking a bag. “I mean, judging from when Ryo does that, Dee usually ends up in the guest room.”

Carol giggled a little. “Sounds like Ryo is sleeping in the guest room tonight then.”

Bikky shook his head. “Dee doesn’t lock Ryo out.” He frowned. “Dee must be really mad over something.”

They heard the front door open again. “Dee!” Ryo called out, entering the apartment.

“Ryo’s home,” Carol said unnecessarily to Bikky.

“Something tells me it’s not a good idea to hit him up with dinner yet,” Bikky grumbled.


Ryo was not sure when he had started to push through the packed train for the closing doors, whether it was to go after Dee, or to just get the hell away from all those stares. If he was going after Dee, he was not sure if he wanted to get to the bottom of what caused that embarrassing display, or to throttle him for announcing to an entire subway car about their sex life.

He barely got to the door in time, shoving his shoulder in to keep it from closing and forcing it to open again, then ran off the train through the busy train station. He did not see any sign of Dee. He went out of the subway station, looking around the street, still not seeing his lover. With a sigh, he came to the conclusion he had only one place to go. If that was not Dee’s destination, eventually he would have to show up. Setting a quick pace, Ryo started to walk home. That short display on the train left him drained, especially after a particularly hard day at work. Nothing seemed to have gone right during the day. Now it seemed the rest of the day was going to follow in the same vein. Ryo was not happy. He added one more reason to kick Dee’s ass when he finally saw him – Dee could have at least waited until they got to their stop to pull his stunt.

Ryo stormed into the apartment slightly out of breath. “Dee!” he called out.

He heard movement in the kitchen and rushed across the apartment. “Dee?” he asked as he approached the kitchen. He saw Bikky and Carol putting away the groceries Dee had dumped on them. He hefted his bags on the counter. “Thanks, guys.” Before Bikky had a chance to protest the added groceries to be put away, he asked, “Where’s Dee?”

“Dee’s in the bedroom,” Carol replied.

Ryo turned and ran from the kitchen.

“He’s in a mood,” Bikky tried to warn too late as Ryo was no longer in the kitchen.

*** *** ***

Ryo charged to the bedroom door. “Dee?” Grasping the door knob, he went to open the door, only to find it locked. “Dee!” he yelled out. “Open the door!” When no reply came from the other side, he called out, “Come on, Dee!”

“No!” he heard Dee’s angry voice. From the distance, Ryo figured Dee was on the bed.

Ryo rattled at the door in anger. “Dammit Dee, open the fucking door!”

“Later, Ryo. Just let it be for now,” Dee insisted.

“Goddammit Dee! You can’t pull a stunt like that on a train and then hide.” He slammed his fist at the door. “Open the door!”

“I’m not hiding,” Dee’s voice answered from closer to the door. “I told you to let it go on the train. I warned you! But no…. you had to push. So listen this time and let it fucking go for now! Okay?”

“Why? What else can you possibly say that could be worse than what you said on that train?” Ryo demanded, leaning into the door. “Open the door!” He slammed his fist against it again.

“Trust me, Ryo, you don’t want the answer to that.”

“Dee!”

“No!”

“Stop acting like a goddamn brat for fucking heaven’s sake!”

“You’re mistaking me for you, I’m afraid,” came the sarcastic reply.

Ryo slammed his fist against the door again. “Fuck you!” he yelled.

“Look, go make dinner or something,” Dee’s said. “I might come out if I’m hungry.”

“I’m not your wife, you asshole!”

“Then stop acting like one, dammit!” Dee’s voice seemed away from the door again.

With his ear to the door, Ryo heard rummaging around a drawer, then Dee’s footsteps going to the bathroom. “Dee!” he yelled again.

A few moments went by greeted only by silence from the other side, except for the distant, indistinguishable sound of Dee in the bathroom. When he finally heard Dee walking back into the bedroom, he hit the wood one more time with his fist. “Fine. You can stay in there and rot! But I don’t want to hear you ever make a comment when I do it.”

Ryo turned to storm back to the kitchen when he heard the bedroom door unlock. Something bounced off his shoulder.

“You were wrong,” he heard Dee say. “We’re completely out!”

The bedroom door slammed closed again.

Ryo turned and stared down on the floor at the tube of lube near his feet. He picked it up, noticing the cap was off. Angrily, he hurled it against the closed door. “Bastard!”

“You’re the bastard!” came the reply. The door opened again. Dee stood in the doorway, glaring at Ryo.

Ryo advanced on Dee. “Me?” he demanded. He looked at the other man, giving him a glare of doom.

It seemed to have no effect on Dee, whose look could have thrown daggers. “If you expect to fuck me,” Dee said through clenched teeth, “I suggest you go out and get more.” He leaned against the door frame, and folded his arms, still glaring at Ryo.

Ryo opened his mouth to reply, but found he could not find any words.

“Dammit, Ryo! I’m sick of always having to buy the damn shit! And if we are together in the store, do you even say, ‘I’ll meet you outside’? Do you make sure I have enough cash on me? Do you even fuckin’ care how I feel when I suddenly find myself alone without warning? You just cut out, you fuckin’ coward!”

Ryo’s anger rose to a dangerous level, as a vein showed on his forehead. “You bastard! That’s it? That’s why you yelled at me in front of dozens of strangers?!!!”

“It’s only a little tube of fuckin’ lube,” Dee remarked.

“Then why are you making such a fucking fuss about it?!”

“I tried not to!” Dee insisted, his voice still raised. “I yelled at you because you had to keep pushing. I wanted to wait until we got home, in private. Maybe allow myself to cool down a little and try to discuss this calmly like two adults who are in love. But you had to know right there on the train!” He clenched his fists. “You think I liked having all those fuckin’ strangers staring at me too?!?” He started to turn to go back into the room, his arm going out to slam the door closed again.

Ryo shot a hand out to keep the door open. “I’m sorry, I’m not a freaking mind reader! I couldn’t know you’d go and blurt out the details about our sex life in a full car!”

“I told you to wait!” Dee started to storm away from the door.

Ryo grabbed onto Dee’s arm and spun him around to face him. “Oh no! You wait!”

Dee looked down at the hand tightly gripping his arm, then back to Ryo’s furious eyes. “When I say later, that usually means I’m going to say something that will embarrass the two of us. Haven’t you fuckin’ learned that by now?” He shook his arm, trying to pull away from Ryo’s hold. “Oh, that’s right. Why should you? You can’t even buy the fuckin’ lube after all this time!”

With a dark scowl, Ryo shook the arm he still held. “Stop making this my fault!” he demanded.

“It is your fuckin’ fault!” Dee insisted, finally managing to free his arm.

“I DON’T SEE HOW!!!”

“If it wasn’t for me, we wouldn’t have a normal sex life,” Dee explained, his voice a little lower. “Obviously you don’t appreciate even that much!”

Ryo gaped at the ridiculous statement.

“I’m sure even you don’t want to live on just spit alone every time!” Dee added.

Ryo’s hands were clenched in fists as he got into Dee’s face. “Shut up! You know what you got when we got together! I’m not the type to run around and tell everyone who does and doesn’t want to know about my sexual orientation, or brag about what we do in the bedroom, asshole! You know that! If you can’t live with that, then it’s your problem. Not mine!” His fists shook as he barely resisted the urge to strike at Dee, who had taken a step back. “And I do buy the lube!”

“Not the type we can use every time,” Dee pointed out. He shook his head. “And I knew what I got into two years ago! I thought with time, you’d settle down and figure out it’s not a fuckin’ sin to be what you are. Holy Christ, Ryo! Grow the fuck up and face what you are already!”

Ryo’s mouth pressed into a thin line as he glared at Dee.

“You’re living with a man,” Dee continued, unfazed. “Or have you forgotten that? Maybe you want to pretend that I’m your fuckin’ wife? Your wife, Dee. Huh?”

“Bullshit!”

Dee leaned closer. “Do you really believe the neighbors where you lived didn’t know what we were doing? Or that everyone in this building believes we’re only roommates? Especially the Andersons, with their bedroom below ours?”

Ryo blushed. “I --…”

“It’s not like we’ve never walked down the streets holding hands or any of that stuff. It’s not like everyone we know thinks we’re only friends. We’re not hiding this relationship that far back in the closet, so don’t give me that crap.”

Ryo took a step back from Dee. “I changed my whole life for you, you jerk! I told you I’m not… I was…. FUCK!” He turned and stormed off to the living room.

Dee quickly followed Ryo. “You’re not what?” he insisted.

“Goddammit, Dee! Why do you always push and push and push!?!” Ryo insisted, turning on Dee in the middle of the living room. “You did from the moment we met, and now you’re doing it again! So I’m not open about my sex life. I’m SO sorry! If you were a woman, it wouldn’t be any different, if that’s what you’re thinking!”

Dee frowned, staring at Ryo. “I’m thinking you were about to say you’re not gay and that you were straight until I ‘forced’ you otherwise. That’s what I’m thinking.” The frown got deeper, and a flash of hurt appeared in his eyes. “And I’m not liking it.” He shook his head.

Dee’s shoulders slumped as he went over to a chair and dropped heavily down in it. With his head down, he ran this hands through his hair.

Ryo watched as Dee lost his fire and a lump formed in his throat as he watched the man sitting in the chair shake his head again wearily.

“I’d have thought you’d have taken the time to know me better, you know,” Dee said, still not looking up, all anger gone from his voice.

“Dee…” Ryo said, his voice level.

Dee lifted his head to look at Ryo. “When have you known me to talk about my sex life in detail? What do you know about my past relationships?”

“I….”

“You think I was comfortable with my outburst on that train? You think it felt good to announce to all those strangers that I don’t like to be dry fucked?”

“You don’t care what other people think,” Ryo remarked. “Why should you now?”

Dee shook with repressed anger. “There’s a limit, Ryo! You should know that by now, dammit!”

Ryo crossed his arms over his chest as he looked down at Dee.

“I don’t care that others know I’m bi, or that I’m living with a man that I love very much.”

Ryo’s eyes softened as he heard the proclamation from Dee.

Dee ran his hands through his hair again. “But I’m not too keen on going further than that. You should know that!” Instead of anger, there was a trace of anguish in Dee’s voice. He shook his head. “If we were out to everyone at work, do you honestly believe I’d be going in and telling them which one of us did who the night before?”

Ryo shrugged as his gaze dropped to the floor.

“Haven’t you noticed that I’m not like Ted or Drake? Or even JJ?”

“I know that, Dee,” Ryo replied softly.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. But I’m still a goddamn private person too!”

Ryo’s head lifted then. “Ah yes? So that’s why you just chat on casually about what kind of lube we could use in front of strangers! And with that, I mean those women at the store!”

Dee ran his hands through his hair again, before looking up at Ryo. “I wasn’t talking to myself at that point, if I remember correctly. And you signaled that we weren’t alone in the aisle anymore. I seem to recall our discussion stopping about then.” His piercing gaze fixed on Ryo. “Was I imagining you were standing behind me, pointing out a $14 bottle of lube?”

“No,” Ryo said quietly.

Dee leaned back in the chair and folded his arms.

Ryo looked at Dee again. “But if I hadn’t walked on, you’d have just chatted on about it, despite those women standing next to us. Explain how that is a ‘private person’ to me?”

Dee jumped from the chair. “I didn’t see them! Dammit, Ryo! Stop trying to twist this!”

Ryo let out a snort, and shook his head.

“You’re fuckin’ acting like I was yelling at the top of my lungs, instead of low for only you to hear.”

Ryo bit his lip before shaking his head again. “Look. Okay, you want me to admit that I’m embarrassed when something like that happens? Fine. I am. Satisfied now?”

Dee seemed to ignore what Ryo said and prattled on. “But yes, when the cashier is male and asking if I want to use that tube of lube, that you left me alone to buy, on him…. Yes, I’m going to tell him I already have plans on using it on someone else.”

“What?” Ryo demanded.

“Well!” Dee shrugged. “We do most of our shopping in the Village.” Ryo continued to stare at him. “You know, the one you said reminds you of JJ.”

Ryo’s eyes got hard. “Yes?” he demanded.

“He’s always asking me when I’ll be ready to use it on him. Which is why I stopped buying it there.” Dee shrugged again.

Anger and embarrassment were quickly replaced by possessiveness in Ryo. “And you kept that little story from me, why?” he insisted.

Dee frowned. “Because maybe if you had been standing next to me, instead of outside the store, you’d have known? Or maybe he might not have asked at all, if he saw us together.”

“I’m not your babysitter, Dee, dammit!”

“No one is asking you to be.” Dee pointed a finger at Ryo. “You’re the one who’s getting all bent out of shape now, because someone dared to ask me out when you’re not around. Obviously I know how to take care of myself and how to say no.” He started to smirk. “I know how you get, Ryo. And this is exactly why I didn’t say anything. It’s nothing. Really. I told him I wasn’t interested each time. I even pointed you out through the window once. Then I just stopped going there when he wasn’t taking the hint.” He held his hand out. “But that’s not the point.” He took a deep breath.

“Then what’s your point?” Ryo snapped. “Because I don’t get it. So you have to buy the lube most of the time? What’s so hard with that? I do stuff for us all the time that you don’t.”

Dee was struck speechless for a moment, wondering how his partner could so blindly miss the point. Finally he opened his mouth. “What’s so hard with that? Obviously something or else you’d be buying it too and we wouldn’t be having this discussion. The point is that I feel if I don’t buy the damn drugstore stuff, we’ll never have a regular sex life.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Ryo scoffed.

“Oh really?” Realizing he was getting nowhere going the obvious route, Dee decided for a different approach. In a low voice he asked, “Do you remember the first time you took me?” Dee held his breath, because he knew he remembered. He also knew Ryo was more likely to forget things that he did not feel were as important as Dee felt they were.

Ryo raised an eyebrow at the abrupt change of subject, the dark eyes on Dee still steel cold. “Yes,” he hissed. “And?”

“And from then on, it wasn’t always me on top anymore.” Dee’s soft eyes met Ryo’s hard ones. “You commented shortly after how I seemed different somehow. More relaxed.”

“You were…are…were,” Ryo blurted out, not knowing where Dee was going with it.

“It’s called less pressure, Ryo. Remember that first time? How scared you were and why? Later you told me you never realized how many things you had to think about for what seems like such a simple act.”

“Yes,” Ryo agreed, his voice almost as hard as his eyes. “Because that’s what I felt. But for you it’s different. I’m not your first male lover.”

Dee shook his head sadly, realizing Ryo was not going to catch on, as he had hoped. “It doesn’t mean I stop thinking about what will please you first. And you’re right, you were not my first male lover. For years I was the dominant one. Then came you, and it felt good to finally be able to just sit back and let someone else do the work for once.”

Ryo frowned.

Dee let out a nervous laugh. “Hell, I felt so fuckin’ free, I almost suggested a permanent switch for a while,” he admitted.

“Oh?” Ryo asked, sounding hurt. “Is it really that much of a chore for you to please me?”

Dee studied Ryo, then shook his head. “I’d like to think that after all this time, you wouldn’t still feel like such a beginner at it. But yeah, I am your first male lover. And we still more or less do it with me on top. You never had a relationship where you were always the dominant one with another man. You don’t know what it’s like.” Green eyes turned hurt. “A chore, Ryo? Dammit, if I didn’t love you, I’d just blindly slam into you for my own fuckin’ pleasure and not care what you feel!”

“Dee….”

“Look, you really don’t get it. It’s hard to explain it. Only from being in the position for a while you might….” His eyes met Ryo’s again, and he smirked. “So how about this then? From now until further notice, it’s your ballgame, Ryo.”

“No, I don’t get it!” Ryo snapped. “I just don’t see how being on top and buying the lube, connects.”

“Well, it shouldn’t,” Dee insisted, turning to start pacing. “Because I’m bottom at times, and I still buy the fuckin’ lube.”

“So how does this work? Because I’ve been on top. And yes, I know you liked that. Hell, I liked it, too. But what does that have to do with buying the goddamn lube?”

“It’s the same fuckin’ thing!” Dee dropped onto the couch and grabbed a big fluffy pillow, holding it on his lap. “Yeah fine. You do buy all that nice fancy, fun stuff that we dare use only once in a while because of the price. But the basic stuff is for times in between. And unless I buy it, there wouldn’t be any time between the once in a while with the good stuff.”

“Hang on!” Ryo held out his hand, going to stand before Dee. “Are you telling me that there’s an unwritten law for gays that if you want to top, buy the lube!?”

Dee tossed the pillow away in frustration. “Jesus Christ, Ryo! I didn’t think you were that dense!” He glared up at Ryo. “I’d probably still end up buying the damn crap three months from now when you’re still top!”

Ryo let out a heavy sigh and dropped on the couch next to Dee. “I give up. I don’t get you and apparently you don’t know how to explain it simple enough so that a dense airhead like me gets it.” He sounded hurt and had finally lost his fire. “So just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.” He shook his head sadly as he leaned back into the couch. “Because I’m tired of this discussion.”

“Look, is it too much to ask that if I forget, or don’t buy the damn stuff, if we need it, it’s still in the fuckin’ house?” Dee insisted. “Shit Ryo!” Dee jumped up and started to pace around the living room again. “You can buy Carol’s fuckin’ stuff to keep on hand for when she’s here and it’s her time!” He stopped and glared back at Ryo. Through clenched teeth, he added, “But you can’t buy the fuckin’ lube!”

“Because if I buy Carol’s stuff, everyone knows it’s not for me!” Ryo remarked.

Dee stormed off from the living room to the hallway to pick up the empty tube. As he came back into the living room, tube in hand, he went up to Ryo. “I end up having to buy Carol’s stuff too sometimes. Especially when you insist on putting it on the shopping list when it’s my turn to go shopping. And ya know what, Ryo?” Dee’s fist squeezed on the tube. “It embarrasses the freakin’ hell outta me when I do! But I still buy the shit for Carol!”

Ryo sighed as he ran a hand over his face.

Dee flipped the tube at Ryo. “Okay, you want me to tell you what to do to bring this to an end? I’ll tell you. We’re out! Completely! There’s no fuckin’ lube in the house. So go and get some.” He stood straight and folded his arms.

Ryo stared at Dee with his mouth agape.

“Now?” Ryo asked.

Dee shrugged, appearing to look disinterested. “Whenever. I don’t care when.” He turned to start walking out of the living room, then paused to look back. “But… there will be no sex until then.” He shrugged again. “Up to you.”

“B-but…” Ryo sputtered at Dee’s retreating back.

Without turning around, Dee replied, “You know I’m not very keen on spit. Not every time, at least.”

“Fine,” Ryo sighed.

Starting to walk out of the living room, his back to Ryo, Dee started to smirk. It was a small triumph for Dee.

Ryo got up from the couch and pushed past Dee to enter the bedroom, without looking at Dee. He closed the door behind him and locked it.

Dee started at the closed door of what was his destination. “Shit!” He kicked out at nothing in frustration. He was intending on locking Ryo out for a while longer. He glared at the door. “And I still end up on the fuckin’ couch!”

He ended up going into the kitchen instead to make sure Bikky had put away the groceries he shoved at them earlier. Only then did it occur to him to wonder what Bikky and Carol had been doing while Dee and Ryo had been battling it out over a tube of what Bikky called perv stuff. He noticed a note on the refrigerator to both men in Bikky’s handwriting, saying that he and Carol had gone out before they were further traumatized.

Dee felt a twinge of guilt. When was he going to finally learn that there was more than just him and Ryo to consider? What prevented him from a full hit of guilt was knowing Ryo really was not much better this time.

With a sigh of resignation, he stood in the kitchen, deciding what to make for dinner. Sleeping on the couch and stuck in the kitchen making dinner. Dee wondered if there should be something wrong with that. He went to the shelf where Ryo kept the recipe books and flipped through one to get ideas.

As he debated over what to make, he found himself smirking. He was not sure if Ryo understood, heard or cared about what he had stated in the living room, but Dee had meant it, and vowed to stick to it. It was his safety net, in case Ryo finally came out of the bedroom with the grand idea that he was quite happy with spit with Dee as the top. Dee chuckled as he envisioned the look on Ryo’s face once he realized that Dee was the bottom until further notice. Which in that case, if Ryo expected to have sex, he would have to go out and provide the proper lubrication. Dee started to frown then. After all this time, it was sad that he was not certain if Ryo would be able to come up with a suitable replacement from what they had in the apartment.

Dee stopped at a page, setting the book down on the counter. He did not have to read the recipe. It was one he had made several times before when it was just him and Bikky at home. It was one of Bikky’s favorite meals whenever Dee cooked. His eyes went back to the note, realizing he had no idea if the boy him and Ryo saw as their son would be back or not in time for dinner. For all he knew, the two teens could be downstairs, sitting on a car until they felt it was safe to come back up again. It had happened before when Dee and Ryo were arguing. He decided to play it safe and have something for everyone to eat, instead of having Bikky return hungry and finding something he did not like to eat. Tuna and pasta cheddar casserole it would be for that night. He snorted. Like there was any need to make some romantic meal should they find themselves at home that night.

Dee set about the task of starting to prepare dinner.