Fake Fan Fiction ❯ All's Fair In War and Love ❯ Chapter 3-B ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: Demoness2005

Title: All's Fair In War and Love 3-A

Rating: NC-17

Fandom: FAKE
Pairings: Ryo/Dee

Characters: None
Warnings: Adult situations, foul mouths, two men in a loving relationship.
Spoilers: All 7 volumes
Summary: Finding himself once again alone at the supermarket check out, Dee finally confronts Ryo on something that has been bothering him since he first got together with Ryo.

Disclaimer: I don't own FAKE. Dee, Ryo and the other FAKE characters are the genius of Sanami Matoh.

This fic started as an idea being bounced back and forth between myself and DeeRyoFan on IM. Most of Ryo's parts in this fic is because of her. Thanks to her for helping me write this fic.

*** *** ***

After laying on his back, staring at the ceiling for a minute, Dee sighed heavily as he pushed himself up from the bed. He hovered before the bathroom door, running his hand nervously through his hair.

Feeling helpless, he rested his head on the bathroom door, squeezing his eyes tight, wondering what was happening to them lately. It was obvious the love was still there, no less than when they first got together. If only they did not fight so much lately. If only he could stop feeling as if he had to pick, push and complain at Ryo as much as he had been doing. He knew how Ryo was. It didn't stop him from falling in love with Ryo, and he did not expect his lover to change so much that he was no longer the man Dee fell in love with.

So what was his problem? Dee shook his head sadly.

Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, Ryo was still sitting on the toilet, sobbing quietly into his hand. He reached out to tear off some toilet paper to wipe his nose, a small portion of his practical mind thankful that he had bought the soft, 4-layer aloe brand.

Dee continued to rest his head on the door. He realized he could hear Ryo's sobbing through the door. Frowning, he knocked gently on the door. “Ryo?” he asked in concern.

Ryo looked up a moment, then shook his head, unable to reply because he feared he would end up sounding like a weepy wife. He buried his face in his hands again, trying to muffle his sobs, then tried to wipe his face with more toilet paper.

“Baby, open the door,” he heard Dee call out loud enough to be heard through the door, but still gentle. “Please.”

Ryo sniffled, attempting to stop his crying and wipe his face. He heard a thud coming from the other side of the door. He winced, knowing what caused the sound. He knew Dee that well.

On the other side of the door, Dee had done exactly as Ryo thought. He dropped his head heavily against the wooden door, wincing a little when his forehead hit the door a little too hard, but did not move otherwise. He stared down, looking at the doorknob, worried that Ryo did not bother to reply to him.

Unable to stand around helplessly anymore, Dee decided to try the doorknob, only for it to turn. Slowly, he opened the door a little, enough to stick his head in. “Ryo,” he called out softly.

Seeing the door open and Dee's concerned look, Ryo buried his face in his hands again, and started to cry all over again. Unlike earlier, this was a release after seeing Dee looking concerned and loving.

Upon seeing the new wave of crying take Ryo over, Dee pushed the door open all the way. “Oh Jesus, Ryo.” He rushed into the bathroom. “God baby.” He dropped onto his knees before Ryo, who was still sitting on the toilet. He put his arms around his partner, pulling him close in a comforting hug. “I'm sorry,” he apologized. “I'm so sorry. I never want to make you cry.”

Ryo leaned against Dee, drawing in some comfort from the hug, feeling the love it conveyed. He fought back a new rush of tears hearing Dee's sincere, heartfelt apology. He wrapped one arm around Dee's neck, holding on tightly, while the other hand still covered his face, which he pressed into Dee's shoulder.

Dee pulled away enough to see Ryo's face. Gently he wiped the tears streaking Ryo's face. “Oh my God,” he moaned. “I didn't mean to. Honestly.” Guilt shone in deep jade eyes as he continued to softly wipe his loved one's face. “God, I love you so much.”

“What's happening to us, Dee?” Ryo blurted out, choked up and still sobbing.

Dee shook his head sadly. “I… I don't know.” He pulled Ryo close again, holding him.

Ryo moved his head away to look at Dee. “Are you…?” He found he could not finish and tried again. “Do you…?” Once again, his voice failed him, unable to put to sound the horrible thoughts in his head.

Dee looked concerned, as he studied Ryo's face. “Do I what?”

Ryo started to cry more, overcome with fear of his thoughts being true. Through his crying, he was able to finally blurt out, “Do you want to leave me?” He started to sob near hysteria that Dee would say yes.

Dee's eyes went wide with shock. Those green pools started to glitter with tears forming but not yet falling. As he stared at Ryo, unable to make his mouth move, Ryo started to shake in Dee's arms.

“HELL NO!” Dee found his voice to roar adamantly. He nuzzled the side of Ryo's head. “Jesus baby, whatever made you think that? I love you.” He kissed the soft cheek close to his lips, before moving his mouth close to Ryo's ear. “I can't live without you, Ryo,” he murmured. The tears were close to falling, threatening to be released at the thought of living his life without Ryo in it. It was the one thing that would totally break him. He had long accepted that fact, even before Ryo had finally told him that he loved him.

Ryo took in a shuddering breath to stop the sobbing. “I…I don't know,” he replied, his voice rough from his crying. “I…,” he paused to sniffle, “I think everything's fine and then you suddenly blow up because of something I did, and then you suddenly tell me what else I have been doing wrong and it just….” He sniffled again, wiping his nose with the balled up toilet tissue he grasped onto. “It just… I feel like I'm screwing up so bad… a-and you're unhappy with me… and I'm not…” another sniffle, “good enough for you.” The arm around Dee held on as he placed his other arm around Dee's neck, holding him tightly.

Dee stroked Ryo's back, shifting so their bodies were pressed close, needing the comfort of Ryo's body as much as he knew Ryo needed the same with his. “Aw baby,” he said gently. “Don't ever think you're not good enough for me. I'm the one who still gets insecure sometimes, you know, thinking I'm not good enough for you.”

Ryo pulled back suddenly, looking at Dee. “Why? I never… do I… I mean, do I do things or say things that make you feel like I'm…? He swallowed thickly, in fear, afraid he was going to further learn how badly he was messing up the best thing he had in his life. He wiped his face with his hands, the gesture a bit childish for a man his age.

Dee shook his head. “No. Nothing like that. It's just… sometimes I look at you… and then at me….” He shrugged at a loss how to express himself without further hurting Ryo.

“And?” Ryo asked, and sniffled. “What about you and me?”

Dee looked sad, almost in pain as he replied low. “I don't know. I-I just think that there's better for you out there than me.” He hung his head as he gave a little shrug.

Ryo stared at Dee in amazement. “What? Why? Dee, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life!” he demanded. “There's no one better for me! B-because there's no one I could love like I love you! Or who would love me the way you do.”

Dee shrugged again. “I don't know.” He lifted his head to look Ryo in his beautiful dark chocolate eyes. “Honestly,” he stated. “I just feel that way sometimes.” He reached out to brush a finger along Ryo's tear-streaked cheek. “It's not you. Believe me, it is not you, Ryo.” He pulled Ryo close to him, hugging the man he loved.

Ryo could not help but start crying again.

“Aw baby,” Dee murmured, stroking Ryo's back in a comforting motion. “I didn't mean to make you cry again.”

Ryo continued to cry into Dee's shoulder. He felt it was still his fault somehow. That some way he had made Dee feel the way he did. Even if how Dee felt was not his fault, he felt it was still his fault that he did not know how to make those feelings leave Dee. He had to be doing something wrong if Dee was feeling unworthy of him, instead of basking in the love Ryo felt for him.

“Please, don't cry,” Dee said softly, still holding Ryo, rocking them. “It's not you, I swear, baby.”

“I-I don't w-want you to feel like that,” Ryo sobbed into Dee's shoulder, feeling tender fingers run through his hair. He sobbed more, becoming more upset.

Dee pushed Ryo away so he could place a hand on each side of Ryo's face. He gazed at Ryo, the pain of seeing Ryo hurt so much clear on his face. “Listen to me baby. It's not you. You love me like no one ever did. I swear it's true.” He leaned his head to lightly kiss Ryo's quivering lips. “I had hoped you could love me when I realized I was in love with you, but… I didn't dare hope you would love me as much as you do.”

Ryo nodded, wiping his eyes impatiently. He was started to get annoyed at himself for crying as much as he had. He was not some weepy woman or some overly sensitive twink. Besides, it was hurting Dee more the longer he continued to cry. He wanted it to stop. He did not want to cry any longer, but he could not seem to hold it inside any longer. For too long he had held too much in, hoping that somehow, someway, they would move past this horrible phase of arguing and fighting and go back to the way they had been before.

Dee moved his head so that his face was close to Ryo's. “Don't ever think I want to leave you.”

Ryo nodded as Dee pulled away a little. Ryo grabbed some new toilet paper from the roll to wipe his nose.

Dee stood, going over to the other side of the sink and taking some tissues out of the box they kept in the corner and went back to Ryo, holding them out. “Here. This is softer on the nose, no matter how soft that tp is.”

Ryo nodded, taking the tissues from Dee, and continued to wipe his nose.

Dee took Ryo by his upper arm and tugged gently, in hopes of getting the distraught man to stand. “C'mon now. Sitting on that cold seat can't be comfortable. Or warm,” he stated.

Ryo nodded again, then stood. He wrapped his arms around Dee's neck, as if afraid if he let go, he'd lose Dee. He leaned his head on Dee's shoulder, suddenly feeling very tired.

Dee had started to move them from the bathroom back into the bedroom. He settled Ryo in the bed. It took a bit to pry Ryo's arms from him, but he managed to pull himself from the octopus hold Ryo had on him to pull the sheets and comforter over his weary, upset partner.

Dee moved to his side of the bed and got under the covers, next to Ryo. Immediately, Ryo snuggled up to Dee. Dee put his arms around Ryo, holding him protectively. Ryo rested his head on Dee's chest, still sniffling a little.

“Want me to get you some coffee, or tea, baby?” Dee asked, running his fingers through Ryo's hair.

Ryo shook his head. His voice was hoarse from crying when he replied, “Just hold me. Please.”

Dee's hold on Ryo tightened, holding him close. He kissed the side of Ryo's head. “Gladly,” he said.

Ryo shifted to bury his face in Dee's neck.

Dee continued to hold Ryo, gazing at the man in his arms, starting to look concerned. He did not realize he was biting his lip as he ran his fingers through Ryo's soft silky hair.

Ryo sighed before giving Dee's neck a soft peck, and shifted again so he could wrap his arms around Dee's waist.

Dee sighed too. “I love you,” he started. “I know that doesn't fix everything, but I can't stop saying it. I love you, Ryo.”

Ryo lifted his head enough to reply without it sounding muffled. “I love you too, Dee. More than anything. Honestly.”

“I just wish I knew why…” Dee sounded concerned and a bit as if he was getting upset. “Damn, I don't want to make you cry. I never want to hurt you. I love you.”

Ryo nodded a little. “I know. B-but… Dee?” He pulled his head up enough to look down at Dee's face.

“What?” Dee asked, meeting Ryo's gaze.

“I… I…” He sighed heavily, dropping his gaze. “Do you think you're not good enough for me, because of… because of where you grew up?” Before Dee had a chance to reply, he added,” Because you know I don't care about that.”

“That's part of it,” Dee admitted, breaking their look to drop his eyes. “Where I grew up. How I grew up. I'm a street rat who doesn't even know where he came from.”

“But Dee, I don't care about that, you know that,” Ryo insisted, moving an arm so that he could caress Dee's cheek. “All that matters is that you are here with me now.” When Dee did not reply and continued to gaze down, Ryo said softly, “But you care, hmm?” He started to rub his hands over Dee's back gently.

“It's just that….” Dee sighed again. “You're just too damn perfect… and I can't believe how lucky I am. I guess maybe one day I'm afraid my luck will run out.” Then so low, Ryo barely heard him, he said, “It always does.”

Ryo shook his head firmly. “No. Not with me. Never, Dee!” He hugged Dee tightly. “And I'm the lucky one. I mean, you say you look at yourself, but I don't think you see what I see.”

Without warning, Dee grabbed onto Ryo and held him tightly to him, pressing his face against the side of Ryo's head. Ryo heard his timid whisper. “Don't leave me.”

Ryo's questions brought too many questions Dee had himself, questions he tried not to answer, and pushed them away whenever he was able. He started to feel very vulnerable now, holding onto Ryo.

“I won't. Never,” Ryo replied tenderly. “I promise, Dee.” He kissed Dee's head. “Dee, penguinbaby, I'm not like them,” he stated. He stroked Dee's back soothingly, able to read Dee, knowing what was making his partner feel the way he was.

They needed to get this out in the open and make Dee face his demons. He would not have to do it alone, Ryo determined, not as long as he had Dee in his arms. “Whatever reasons they had to leave you in that alley, they were damn fools, and it's their loss, not yours. Never yours. You hear me? Because, God, just look how beautiful you are, inside and outside and everywhere. And they missed that. They gave up on having such a wonderful person in their lives. And now you think you're not good enough. But I swear, Dee, you are. More than good enough. Better!” He lifted Dee's head by fingers under his lover's chin until Dee finally looked at him. “I swear, Dee.”

“I'm sorry,” Dee replied. “I can't help it sometimes. It's just…” He fell silent and dropped his head to rest next to Ryo's, pressing his face into Ryo's hair.

“It's just what?” Ryo coaxed him.

“Ryo…” Dee whispered into Ryo's hair, swallowing thickly. He held onto Ryo tighter, as if he held onto a lifeline to keep him from drowning.

Ryo nuzzled Dee's ear lovingly. “It's just? Come on, say it. Please baby. Finally let it out.”

“I don't know.” Dee's voice was muffled by Ryo's head. “I mean, I know but I… can't find the words.”

“You know I'm not going to leave you, or stop loving you no matter what you are going to say now. Right?”

Dee shook his head. “I want to Ryo… but… it's just a sense… and I can't…” He started to tremble in Ryo's arms.

Ryo held onto the dark haired man in his arms, knowing how close Dee was to the edge of finally looking at and overcoming something he probably spent most of his life since a small child pushing away. It festered inside Dee, growing until Dee could not longer deny its existence. Now the time had come. Ryo was not going to allow Dee to face this alone. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the storm, knowing what he had to do. He knew what would happen next. He only hoped he would still have Dee when it was over. It seemed to Ryo that their relationship balanced on his next question. Depending on how Dee handled it, they would fall asleep in each other's arms, or it could very likely be the end.

Very softly, he asked, “Why did they leave you, Dee?”

“I don't know,” Dee blurted out, sounding upset.

Ryo moved his head to rub against Dee's. “But you think there is a reason. So why, what do you think why they did that?”

“I…I…I'm scared, Ryo.” Dee's voice shook, slowly losing his carefully built up control. All his defenses against this were finally worn thin and ready to drop. “I'm scared you'll leave me like they did. Because I wasn't good enough… because… I make people leave me.” He sobbed, before pressing his face once again in Ryo's hair. He shook more, trying desperately to not start crying.

“Oh Dee,” Ryo sighed. “You were a baby, only a few months old. And Mother said you were the cutest, sweetest, most perfect little baby she had ever seen. Of course you were good enough.” Ryo's voice hardened as he concluded, “But they weren't.” He stroked Dee's back, still holding him tightly.

Dee tried to pull away from Ryo. “No!” he protested. “I had to have done something so horrible to make them…”

Using both arms, Ryo wrapped Dee tightly to him. “Don't!” he cried out.

Dee jerked his head back, dark green eyes wide in shock at what he just said. “Omigod,” he muttered. Tears started to form in his eyes. “I did something to make them hate me.”

Ryo shook his head. “No, Dee. No, you didn't.”

“Why else would anyone do that to a baby? Why else would my parents do that to me?” Dee looked stricken.

“Dee,” Ryo insisted firmly, “you were a baby!”

Dee looked at Ryo with sad, pleading eyes. “Why, Ryo?” he asked. He bit his lip..

“Because they were…” Ryo started.

“Why?” he repeated, almost a whisper, cutting Ryo off. Tears started to flow from his eyes.

Ryo sighed. “Because they were,” he tried again.

Once again, Dee cut him off. “All I can think is… I wasn't good enough for them. That I'm not good enough for anyone.” He hung his head, the tears flowing freely.

Ryo continued to hold Dee, one hand on his partner's face, rubbing his thumb over a wet cheek. “But you are!” Ryo insisted.

“It's my fault Jess died!” Dee blurted out.

Ryo's head pull back in surprise. “What? No! Dee, it was his own fault!”

Dee shook his head roughly. “He was killed protecting me,” he cried out, his voice quivering. “He shouldn't have. I wasn't worth it.”

“Baby,” Ryo said as Dee buried his face in Ryo's neck. “Please stop saying that! You are worth so much more. And Jess was… he was…. I know you don't want to hear it, but he doomed himself to that fate. Dee, think about it for a moment. A corrupted cop, getting involved with the mafia… he never had a chance. And he died protecting you because you are worth it. Because he knew how good you truly are.”

Ryo realized Dee was crying steadily in his arm. He kissed the side of Dee's head. “I mean,” he said softer, “don't you realize how much you mean to so many people? And how much better you make them feel? How much better you make their lives, because you are in it?” He held Dee tenderly, once again kissing the side of the dark haired head.

“God..damn,” Dee sobbed.

“It's okay,” Ryo soothed him.

“I…” Dee started, then sobbed, unable to finish.

Ryo started to rock Dee.

“I'm sorry,” Dee finally said.

“It's okay,” Ryo assured him again. He rubbed Dee's back. “I think it's time you finally let that out.”

Dee held onto Ryo once again as if he was a lifeline.

Ryo kissed Dee's cheek. “It's okay, baby.”

“T-there's times… I…I can't be-lieve I'm so lucky….” Dee was still crying as he spoke.

“Not lucky, Dee,” Ryo said tenderly. “Just so wonderful, I can't help loving you more with each day.”

“I….” Dee took a gasping breath, suddenly at a loss for words. He said the only think that was on his mind. “I love you.”

Ryo was still rocking Dee, holding him, rubbing his back. “Even when you were scaring me lately, I just couldn't help love you more for all the little things you do for me without realizing you do them.”

“I'm sorry,” Dee apologized again.

“It's okay. I understand now,” Ryo replied. “Some things suddenly make so much more sense to me. It's okay.”

“I was afraid, Ryo,” Dee finally admitted.

“I know, love.”

“We got this far… and suddenly… I got scared.”

“And I was stupid, because I didn't see it,” Ryo replied.

Dee shook his head. “No. Not your fault.”

Ryo kissed the side of Dee's head again. “You're too damn good at hiding things for your own good.” He chuckled softly.

“I was being stupid,” Dee remarked. He finally moved his head, starting to wipe his eyes.

“I think the only person in this world who can truly read you, no matter how good you are at hiding stuff, is Mother.” He smiled at Dee before leaning in to softly kiss Dee's eyelids.

“I didn't want us to fight,” Dee said. “Was afraid you'd leave me, so….”

Ryo looked at Dee. “Hmm? So?”

“I was afraid to say things that could start a fight.” He squeezed his eyes shut against the fresh onslaught of tears. “And almost pushed you away anyway.”

“Shhh.” Ryo gently kissed Dee. With his lips still against his partner's, he said, “You couldn't push me away even if you wanted to. I won't let you.”

“Jesus, I'm such a fuckin' idiot!” Dee exclaimed. He still clung onto Ryo, afraid to let him go.

“You didn't realize what you were doing. Right?”

“I…I knew I kept things from you,” Dee admitted. “But I didn't think they made it worse.”

“They did,” Ryo said in a small voice.

“I fucked up…badly,” Dee said, sounding defeated. “I'm sorry, Ryo. Oh God, I'm so sorry.”

“No, it's okay,” Ryo insisted. “Dee, we both didn't handle this well. I…I've been bottling up, too,” he confessed. “I mean, I felt like this,” he paused to make a gesture at the bathroom, “for a while now and never said anything. I was hoping that things would be okay again soon, if I did whatever you wanted me to.”

Realizing what he was doing, and how he acted like a bastard sometimes, hurting Ryo, making him want to cry was too much for Dee. The tears slid from his eyes, as he started to cry again.

“I should have let you know sooner. We should have had this talk a few months ago already.” Seeing Dee's tears as his lover silently sobbed, he held onto Dee again. “Oh baby. Baby, it's okay. Really. I'm just glad we finally have it all out in the open. Okay?”

“God, how can I be so stupid?” Dee sounded disgusted with himself. “I've been hurting you….”

“And I've been hurting you,” Ryo finally managed to cut Dee off. “So we've both been stupid. So it doesn't really count.”

“You wouldn't have been feeling like that and needing to bottle. God, I just love you so much.”

“And you wouldn't have had anything to bottle either, if I hadn't made all those stupid mistakes. Okay?”

Dee pulled his head back. “What stupid mistakes?” he asked, surprised.

“I know I'm not perfect, Dee. And I know that the things I did wrong have nothing to do with what you feel about yourself.”

Dee placed a hand on Ryo's cheek. “I've been nitpicking you. I didn't realize it then, but I do now.”

“But it was necessary and good,” Ryo insisted. “I needed that.” He managed to chuckle. “Hell, otherwise, I still wouldn't be able to buy the damn lube in ten more years!”

Dee nodded a little. “I've been a little insensitive. Well, maybe a lot insensitive, about some things.”

“So was I,” Ryo countered.

“Besides, you were getting there,” Dee said.

“I was too damn slow about it,” Ryo insisted.

“At least you were able to stand behind me to pick out what you wanted,” Dee pointed out.

“I know that,” Ryo stated. “I did that because it bothered me even without you saying something. I'm not perfect, Dee, and I know that. And that's alright. No one is. But I knew I wanted to be just a bit better for you. I just didn't know how to do that.”

“But I fucked up too,” Dee said. “I… sometimes, my biggest fault is at times expecting everyone to do things because I did.”

“Well, yeah, sometimes you do that,” Ryo had to admit, but gave Dee a gentle smile. “But everyone has a flaw.” He kissed Dee's forehead.

Dee leaned his head into the kiss. In a low voice, he said, “But I forgot what is buried beneath all that.” He watched as Ryo nodded in agreement. A small rueful grin appeared on his face. “Which in the lube case was a 17 year old boy who never dared go near that aisle for another 5 years,” Dee admitted.

Ryo chuckled at Dee's confession and had to kiss his nose.

“I kinda forgot about him when I was pushing you. And I'm so sorry.”

“I hope I won't react the same way,” Ryo said, then smiled. He gave Dee a playful wink. “It's okay.”

“You don't have to buy it again, if you don't want to,” Dee said.

“I know me well enough to know that I need to get pushed sometimes.”

“Really,” Dee pressed.

“No, it's okay,” Ryo assured him. “Damn, I mean, it was embarrassing and I wanted to die, but in the end it was… well, it was fun!” He laughed a little.

Dee rubbed his cheek against Ryo's.

Ryo moved his head to kiss Dee on his lips. “And so worth it,” he intoned, the smile on his face reaching his eyes, which gazed into Dee's.

“Please baby,” Dee said. “Promise me something.”

“Yeah?”

“Don't ever do anything more than you're comfortable with because I want you to.”

Ryo nodded. “Okay.”

“Because you get there. Just sometimes it takes you a little time getting used to it.”

Ryo chuckled. “Yeah. My timing, your temper. Bad combination.” He winked again at Dee as he chuckled again. “But you know what?”

“What?”

“I wouldn't want it any other way,” Ryo answered.

“Except for my making you cry,” Dee said. “I don't like it. And I'll work on stopping that.”

“But you have to promise me something too,” Ryo said.

“Yeah?”

“Don't stop pushing me or telling me what you want because you're afraid you're pushing me too far. You aren't. You have never done that. Even if maybe I acted like that this afternoon after we came home.” He leaned so that his mouth was close to Dee's again. “Because I need to get pushed sometimes. Okay? I know that about myself, and it's okay.”

Dee sighed heavily. “I'll try, but,” he started to protest.

Once again, Ryo cut him off. “Just don't bottle it all up and then drop it all on me at the same time. Okay? That's what I can't handle.”

“After today, I'll probably be a little nervous about that, even if I know I need to talk.”

“Baby, you trust me, don't you?” Ryo asked.

“Of course I do,” Dee replied, nodding vigorously. “It's me that I don't trust sometimes. That's the problem.”

Ryo sighed, studying Dee. “But you can trust yourself,” he said. “I think that's what Mother kept telling you as a youngster. Hm?”

Dee nodded. “Yeah, she did.”

“See? And you always do what Mother tells you to. So?” Ryo winked and smiled warmly at Dee.

“And most times I do, but sometimes….” In a low voice, he continued, “It gets really scary. Especially with something as important… or someone… like you are.” He smiled a little, almost looking timid. “Damn you, Ryo. You know how to get me, you know.”

Ryo smiled back, pushing Dee's hair out of his eyes. He hugged Dee, exclaiming. “I love you so freaking much, Dee.” He felt Dee snuggle comfortably against him, marveling for the countless time what a perfect fit the contours of their bodies made for the other. “And baby? One more thing.”

“Hm?” Dee asked, sounding snug and secure.

“You said that you always make the people you love leave you. If that's true, why is Mother still around? And so very proud of her son?” He stroked Dee's face lovingly.

“Ah…” With a rueful look, his eyes looking up at Ryo, he replied, “Because I'm an idiot sometimes?”

Ryo laughed softly. “That has to be it!”

Dee grinned and kissed Ryo gently. “Yeah. That has to be it. And I'm glad you're in love with this idiot.” He hugged Ryo again. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”

“You know what you truly make people you love do?” Ryo questioned slyly.

“Um, no idea.”

“You make them love you more than anything in the world.” He kissed Dee, the kiss more than the soft ones they shared so far.

Dee smiled at Ryo, sniffing. “Love you, baby. Love you, love you, love you!” His lips met Ryo's for another sweet kiss after Ryo chuckled at his proclamation. “Shit, I don't know what else to say,” he said when they parted. “I love you.”

Ryo laughed. “That's okay, since I like hearing it.” He smiled at Dee.

“I'm sorry.”

“Dee,” Ryo said softly, stroking Dee's face soothingly. “And I'm sorry, too. So we're even.”

Dee placed his arms around Ryo and rested his head on the soft, but strong shoulder.

“Let's just never bottle anything up again or hide things from each other,” Ryo stated. “Well, except for Christmas, birthday or Finding Day presents.”

Dee nodded in agreement. “Yeah.” His eyelids started to droop as exhaustion started to hit Dee. “I need to get some sleep now.”

“Oh! Maybe other presents.”

A grin grew on Dee's face. “Other presents?” he asked, opening his eyes. “I love presents… but… I do need to get some sleep.” He chuckled, settling his head more on Ryo's shoulder. He gazed up to Ryo's face.

“I know,” Ryo said, his eyes twinkling. “I need sleep too.” He grinned impishly. “Tomorrow then.”

Dee laughed. “I need to get to sleep so I can wake up nice and early, and make a breakfast fit for a king for you to wake up to.”

Ryo laughed. “Good. Gives me enough time to get out the present I have for you.” He smiled at Dee, who had closed his eyes.

Dee's eyes opened. “Present? Again with the present.”

Laughing, Ryo rolled onto his back, and pulled Dee closer.

Dee lifted his head, raising an eyebrow. “And you're teasing me again. As you always do when you have a present for me.” He could not stop the grin.

Ryo nodded. “Good night, penguinbaby.” He kissed Dee's forehead, his hand rubbing Dee's naked cold upper arm. He pulled the blankets up over them more, making sure to cover Dee's arm.

Dee snuggled up against Ryo and sighed happily.

Smiling, Ryo gave Dee a squeeze and kissed his brow.

“This is how I love to sleep. Nice and warm against my studmuffin,” Dee murmured happily.

“Yeah. Me too,” Ryo agreed. He leaned down and tipped Dee's head up to give his love a kiss.

Dee smiled and kissed Ryo back. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Ryo replied, his eyes closing. The day finally had taken its toll on him, and having Dee in his arms made Ryo feel secure enough that he could finally go to sleep.

“Always and forever,” Dee added.

“Yeah,” Ryo murmured sleepily. “Forever.” A smile was on his face as he soon fell asleep.

Dee stayed up a little longer, content to be snuggled up against Ryo, in Ryo's arms. He gazed at his partner, amazed at how lucky he was, thankful he still had Ryo. If not only what Ryo said, but the tone of his voice, Ryo was not going to leave him. Most probably, never would. Dee could not help smiling tenderly, reminded again that he had finally found not only love, but his true love. He had the one person in his life, that most people were never lucky enough to have. He had his true love, his soulmate. He vowed to work better at assuring he'd never hurt Ryo again, and never bring tears to those beautiful eyes. Content, he finally closed his eyes and fell asleep.