Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Redefining Heaven ❯ Leap of Faith ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

By: Irish

Disclaimer: Fake and all characters relating to Fake are not my intellectually property, I just borrow them. All new characters are the sole property of me and cannot be used in anyway with out my expressed written consent. Don't sue, I'm poor.

Redefining Heaven

Chapter Four: Leap of Faith

By: Irish

Rated R

Warnings: Explicit Language, graphic violence, adult situations

~*~*~*~*~

Ryo had been surprised to find Cal still in the waiting room when he returned, he hadn't seen her when he and Dee had gone to speak with the doctor, and he had assumed she had left hours ago, while he had been dozing.

“Carol? You're still here?” He asked, crouching down in front of her. She was curled on her side on a short two-seater bench, an arm under her head.

“Duh. Where else would I be.” She rolled her eyes a little, which almost made Ryo smile. Teenagers would be teenagers it would seem.

“Well, home and sleeping. Have you called your aunt, does she know where you are?” Ryo smoothed a hand over her ponytail.

“Yeah, I called my aunt a while ago and told her where I was. She wanted me to come home, but she didn't say I had to. I couldn't sleep anyway.” Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Bikky flying over the hood of some jackass's car, then cart-wheeling over the pavement. “Besides, I want to know what's up.”

“You won't be able to see him tonight, you know.” Ryo said gently, of course tonight was quickly becoming this morning, “He will probably be in ICU for a while.”

“I know. Do I look like a retard?” She rolled her eyes again sitting up. “What did the doctor say?”

Ryo rubbed a hand over his eyes. He knew she was going to ask, but really wishing she wouldn't. Cal was too smart to let him sugar coat it either. She had seen what had happened. She knew it wasn't too good.

“Its, not too good honey.” Ryo sighed, moving to sit beside her. “He's still in surgery, the doctor said another two hours. He had some real bad head trauma, and they had to take out a piece of skull to give his brain room to swell.” He said slowly, trying to make this as untraumatic as he could. “He has a lot of internal injuries, one of his lungs collapsed, they removed his spleen, all the ribs on one side of his chest are broken...” Ryo cleared his throat.

Tears had welled in Cal's eyes, she knew it was bad, but knowing exactly what kind of bad gave her a clearer mental image. She could see each injury as it happened, pinpointing exactly what caused what. “What about his foot. I know... I know that its not... they found it in...” she stifled a sob.

“I know.” Ryo wrapped an arm around her, hugging the girl to his side. “They think its best we don't try to reattach it.” he paused, debating if he should tell her the rest, like this wasn't enough for the poor kid.

“What?! Why?!” Cal looked horrified.

“Well, his leg is really... its bad honey. It would take a ton of surgeries, and there is a real high risk of infection. The doctor things that the best thing we can do for him is...”

“Leave it off?” she sniffed

“That... and to remove most of the rest of the leg, from above the knee.” Ryo managed to get that out with out his voice cracking, or breaking down himself.

“They want to cut off more? Are they insane!” Cal had pulled away a little to look at Ryo, as if trying to judge the level of Ryo's sanity. “You aren't going to let them are you?”

“I'm waiting on Dee so we can make the final decision, but what the doctor told us is that it would be... just dead weight, he wouldn't really be able to use it, and he's already going to have to have a prosthetic. If we remove more, then we'll have the undamaged part of his leg left, and he will have a functioning prosthetic. I guess some guy with a prosthetic just broke the women's world record for sprinting.”

“So, by cutting off his leg, he'll actually be better?” Cal asked skeptically. “I mean, better then keeping it.” not better then before, it was a prosthetic not a bionic leg.

“That's the gist.” he nodded.

“So he'd be able to run, and skate and stuff?”

“With practice, yes.” Ryo nodded again.

“Then that's what you should do. I bet he'd say the same. He would rather play sports and not have a leg, then to have one and have it be useless anyway.” Cal nodded decisively. “Yes. That's what you need to do.”

“Yeah, I think that's where Dee and I are at too. Unless of course God says otherwise.” The last part he mumbled under his breath, God his left testicle. What kind of god ran a thirteen year old kid over in the street?

“Dee prays a lot doesn't he?” Cal asked, watching Ryo. Bikky had told her that Ryo wasn't at all religious, at best doing some lip service to a Shinto bend of Buddhism. She knew there was a shelf where he kept a picture of the Buddha and a couple other sacred objects, Bikky said he had never seen Ryo do anything with them other then dust them. And he never went to temple. Dee on the other hand...

“Yes, I suppose he does.” Ryo nodded, thinking back over the course of knowing Dee. Mass every Sunday he could get there. Evening vespers a couple times a month. Confession at least twice a month. He always carried a rosary, and Ryo saw it out, wrapped around Dee's hand, beads moving slowly through his fingers probably a couple times a week, usually if something had upset him, on his knees every damned night next to the bed.

“Ryo, are you still with me?” Cal was watching him closely, having moved away a bit and was now sitting with her legs folded in front of her, facing him.

“Yeah... I was just... trying to think of how often I had seen Dee praying.” He smiled a bit. “Yes, he has a deep faith, to answer your question a bit less vaguely.”

Cal nodded as though she already knew the answer. “Bikky talks about that a lot.”

“Dee praying?” Ryo's eyebrows rose. He couldn't imagine Bikky every bringing up the issue of faith, especially pertaining to Dee in any way other then disparagingly.

“Well... just the difference between you two.” Cal shrugged, not about to lecture an adult on spirituality.

“I never knew that.” Ryo sat back, rubbing his face. This night was never going to end. He was convinced of it. It would just be one endless purgatory. Things were becoming almost surreal to Ryo, though he knew he was deeply concerned about Bikky, he had gone almost numb, like he wasn't sure what they were even doing here any more.

“Hey Dee.” Carol's voice broke through Ryo's transcendental meandering.

“Cal, you're still here?” Dee sounded as confused and surprised as Ryo had felt. “Does your aunt know you're here?”

“Yeah, I called her a while ago.” She nodded, drawing her knees up to her body and wrapping her arms around them. “I want to stay at least until Bikky is out of surgery.”

“Find by me, kiddo.” he gave her ponytail a gentle, friendly tug, turning her head back and forth. His eyes though, had met Ryo's. It was time to get down to it, and they both knew it. “Honey, why don't you go find yourself something to eat, you didn't have dinner.” Dee said pulling out his wallet and handing her some cash.

Cal wasn't really hungry, but she knew a request for privacy when she heard one. “Sure, thanks Dee. You want anything? Ryo?” When they both shook their heads, she shrugged and got up, tucking the money in a pocket on her pink scrubs, meandering slowly from the room.

“Everything squared away?” Ryo ask, glancing at Dee.

“As much as it can be, I suppose.” he took a slow deep breath. “This is gonna be one of those things where we stand here for ten minutes staring at each other because neither of us wants to be the one to say it first isn't it?”

Ryo gave a dry chuckle and shook his head. “Yeah. Fuck.”

Dee nodded, that about said it all. When Ryo broke out the four letter words, the shit had really hit the fan. Dee sat down beside him, rolling up the cuffs of his shirt.

“You wanna say it?” Dee asked, glancing at him sidelong

“Nope. You?” Ryo returned the look.

“This is insane, we both know... all right here is what we're going to do, so no one as to be the one to say it. We're gonna close our eyes, and on the count of three, hold out one finger for keeping, two for not, and three if we've come up with an alternative answer.” Dee felt like a five year old doing this, known for a fact he and Ryo disagreed, but also knowing that feeling in the pit of his stomach, one he knew Ryo had to have too, that was the fear of knowing they agreed, but they actually didn't.

“Ten-four.” Ryo closed his eyes and held out his hands, one hand flat, the other fisted and resting on top of it.

“All right, on the count of three.”

Ryo cracked an eye briefly, just to be sure Dee had his eyes closed, then quickly shut it

again, having full faith in Dee not to cheat. “One”

“Two.”

“Three.”

They said the numbers together hitting their fists into their flat palms on each beat. After the count of three, there was a pause. Then they both slowly opened their eyes, looking at each other first, gazes intense, saying so much. `I love you. I'm scared. What if we're wrong? What if he doesn't make it? I trust you. I love you.'

Ryo looked down slowly, his fist rested in his palm, two fingers out, the mirror image of Dee's two fingers. Dee let out a sigh of relief, and Ryo realized that he too felt some relief. They were doing this together, backing each other. They were united in this, no matter how terrible the choice was. Dee had dropped his head back against the wall, eyes closed, his Adams apple moving up and down.

Ryo scooted closer to him, laying a hand on his chest, over his heart, leaning in so his mouth was almost against Dee's ear. Taking comfort in the scent of Dee's hair even as he comforted.

“Don't you try and be so strong either.” Ryo whispered, caressing his neck and jaw line. “I love you. I know sometimes I get impatient, but love, I respect everything about you. You have a mind of your own, and even if I get sharp with you, I want you to use it.” Ryo nuzzled Dee's ear, and then his neck, kneeling on the padded bench beside him. He knew they needed to go and sign papers and tell the nurse their decision, but they both needed a moment with each other. Ryo knew how much Dee hated to disagree with him, or do anything that he thought Ryo might look down his nose on. Dee was really very sensitive, when it came down to it, Ryo reflected. This had to have been hard on him. Stating an opinion without knowing ahead of time that Ryo would agree with it, even though they had both known. Stating that he wanted time with God. Yes, Dee had been very brave in his own way today.

“You are too good to me.” Dee whispered, his arms finally coming around Ryo, holding him loosely, caressing his back.

“Never.” Ryo shook his head, cupping Dee's cheek, turning Dee's face towards his own. “Never, Dee Laytner. Don't you undercut yourself like that.” Ryo shook his head, kissing Dee softly, feeling a weight lifted off of him now that the choice was made. There was still long hours in front of them. But at least they had accomplished something.

Dee kissed Ryo back sweetly, opening his eyes finally to look at him. “I love you too, baby. I love you too.” He rested his forehead against Ryo's a moment, looking into his eyes. They kissed once more before slowly separating. Ryo standing first, giving Dee a hand up.

“Come on, partner, we have papers to sign.”

Arthur's Note: This chapter was a bit shorter I think then the previous ones. But I feel like it was pretty dense. I know Cal is being fairly calm about the amputation, but I think for her, its easier because its just what has to be done, not a decision she has to make. As long as Bikky can still be Bikky, to her that's all that matters. Thanks so much to those of you who left me those nice (and long!) reviews. It really thrills me when I open the email from FFN and see a nice long paragraph. You guys totally rock!