Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Revelations & Medications ❯ Rough Night ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Like everyone else here I have no other claim to Dee, Ryo, Bikky or any of the other characters in the “FAKE” manga series than that of any other fangirl. All of the above belong to Manga-ka Sanami Matoh and the respective publishing license holders in Japan, the US, and elsewhere.

New York City belongs to everyone, though especially to those pretty little boys we so like reading and writing about.

Please R&R - constructive opines more than welcome

 

Revelations and Medications - Part I - About Dee

Chapter 1 - Rough Night

Some sweet lemon.

 

Ryo wasn't sure what had woken him up, a sound or movement maybe. But that didn't make sense. They lived in New York City which is never quiet; a thousand little and not so little sounds added up to a constant roar, even in the middle of the night on a residential street. As for a movement, well he and Dee had spent almost every night in one or the other's bed for the past three months, so by now Ryo no longer woke up every time Dee rolled over or got up to pee.

 

But then what could have woken him? Ever the detective, Ryo couldn't stand the mystery anymore and opened his protesting eyes. Dee's head wasn't on his own pillow or Ryo's for that matter, and yet Ryo could tell Dee was still on the bed from the tilt of the mattress.

 

Ryo lifted his head up to look around and found Dee; he was sitting cross-legged near the foot of the bed. Dee's back was towards Ryo, his shoulders were hunched and shaking and he was holding his head in his hands. Dee was making the soft yet very distinct sound, the sound that had managed to drag Ryo awake, the rhythmic hiccupping sounds, of someone trying to cry without being overheard.

 

Ryo fought off his first impulse to rush to his lover and wrap Dee up in his arms and try to wring out of him whatever was upsetting him. Instead, Ryo sat up slowly and waited for Dee's posture to indicate that Dee knew Ryo was awake. Ryo then crawled towards Dee and picked up the little throw that was still partially on the foot of the bed, placing it around Dee's shoulders. Ryo sat back on his haunches and just kept one hand on Dee's back slowly stroking and patting.

 

Dee didn't get upset often; in the years that Ryo had known him leading up to their relationship it had happened only once or twice in Ryo's presence, those times dealing with really difficult cases like when Mother was hurt. Usually Dee was more the type of guy to come limping out of a smoldering building with a silly smirk on his face. Or, if Dee was really upset at a perp, he would beat the living shit out of the guy and then have a nice relaxing smoke while the ambulance carted the asshole away and Ryo started making excuses and silencing any witnesses.

 

But now this was the fifth time that Dee had gotten upset in the middle of the night since they had become a couple just over four months ago.

 

Every time Ryo saw Dee like this it tore him up inside. Ryo's instinct was to fuss and mother anyone in discomfort. But this was one side of Ryo that Dee did not respond well to. Dee's reaction to Ryo fawning over him and trying to get him to `talk about it' was one of two things: either Dee would shut down completely or start yelling. When Dee shut down it was frightening and eerie. All emotion would leave his face and the door in the back of his eyes would slam down. Those eyes Ryo had finally let himself be swallowed up into would suddenly become cold unseeing marbles. Dee's body, his face, his eyes, his conversation could stay stiff for days.

 

But the yelling was worse. In his heightened emotional state Dee would pick a fight with Ryo to hide whatever it was that he was upset about. But because Ryo was such an understanding and patient person, the only way he could really deflect attention would be to get personal and nasty. It usually started by Dee calling Ryo `pampered', `spoiled', and `clueless'. It would only end once Dee had gone too far, either accusing Ryo of being a bad cop or an ineffectual father to Bikky. The worst time it was Ryo who had ended up bawling all night while Dee held him and tried to unsay everything he had said.

 

So Ryo called on all of his patience and just waited for Dee to calm down a little more. He kept just the one hand on his lover and moved it slowly but constantly so Dee would know he was still there and still paying attention to him.

 

Eventually Dee's breathing became calmer and his shoulders stopped shaking. Ryo was about to risk a little more contact when Dee poked his hand out from under the blanket and waved Ryo forward. Once Ryo had scooted up next to him, Dee took the blanket and wrapped it around both of them before wrapping his arms around Ryo and resting his head on Ryo's shoulder.

 

Ryo held and cradled the man who had become the center of his life. This man in his arms had pushed, prodded and pulled Ryo out of a closet he hadn't even known he had been in; or at least, Ryo amended to himself, a prison he had not allowed himself to be aware of consciously. Dee had not so much as turned Ryo's life upside down as turned it right side up. Thinking of all he owed Dee and how much he loved him, Ryo couldn't help himself from murmuring, “I do wish you could tell me what has been getting you so upset, Love.”

 

Dee was quiet but Ryo hadn't expected an answer. He could tell from Dee's continued ease in his arms that Dee hadn't shut down and that was good enough. Ryo had said what he needed to say and Dee had heard it without over reacting and that was real progress. Content with that, Ryo was caught off guard when Dee started to speak, causing him to miss most of what was said. “What was that, sweetheart?” Ryo tried to keep the excitement of finally getting an answer out of his voice, “Sorry, Love, I couldn't catch all of that. Why can't you tell me?”

 

Dee shifted his head slightly so he wasn't trying to speak into Ryo's neck. “I said I am afraid to tell you `cause I am afraid you'll hate me.”

 

Ryo struggled with the urge to either laugh or scream. Instead he held Dee tighter and said, very quietly, “I really doubt that, Love.”

 

Now Dee did stiffen in his arms and started to try to pull away. “Are you saying,” Dee asked in a more strident voice, “that there is nothing I could do or could have done to make you hate me?”

 

Ryo refused to give up his hold on his lover. They had come so much farther than any other time before and he was unwilling to give up that ground. But to hold this ground and press forward Ryo knew he had to be completely honest with Dee in return and that had never been easy for Ryo. Ryo took a deep breath and said, “of course there is.”

 

Dee quit struggling in Ryo's arms, taken aback by Ryo's admission. Ryo continued to hold Dee and went on. “Of course there are things you could do if you really wanted me to hate you. You could hurt me or Bikky or Carol. You could turn into a serial rapist or murderer. You could cheat on me and fling it in my face. You could sleep with JJ.” Ryo could tell that last one had Dee's mouth twitching up in a grin from where it was back on Ryo's shoulder. Ryo pulled back a little so he could take Dee's face, that beautiful face, in his hands. “But I know you have never and could never do most of those things.”

 

Dee seemed to look for some smart ass remark to Ryo's argument, something to move the conversation back into his comfort zone. But suddenly all the fight seemed to go out of him and he ended up just looking sadder then before. Dee lifted a hand to cover one of Ryo's that was still on his cheeks. “No, you're right,” Dee took Ryo's hand and brought it down to hold it in both of his own. Ryo let his other hand fall. “Hate was the wrong word. What I am afraid of is that you won't like me as much.” Dee squeezed Ryo's hand to keep him from interrupting, “I am afraid that you won't like me as much when you learn some of the things I did in the past.”

 

Ryo couldn't say anything to this. As much as he had already learned about Dee's youth there were still large gaps in the timeline. That which he did know was so dark and scary and depressing, especially compared to Ryo's own childhood, that Ryo usually didn't know how to talk to or ask Dee about it. Besides the gruesome death of his parents that marked the end of Ryo's childhood everything up until that point had been comparatively idyllic. The razzing at school and his parents' frequent business trips leaving him home alone for months with only a live-in housekeeper were nothing next to the horrors of growing up without family or comfort in a city battle zone. When it came to dealing with Dee's or even Bikky's past Ryo usually felt out of his depth and ill-equipped.

 

After a long pause all Ryo had to go to was the blunt truth again. “I really don't think so, sweetheart.” Ryo squeezed Dee's hand, “I just love you so much. I love this man sitting here with me and all his bits. That has to include all the dark things in your childhood that turned you into this man.”

 

“But, you don't know,” Dee started to say.

 

“No, I don't,” Ryo interrupted. Now it was his voice that was getting louder. Ryo took a deep breath so that he wouldn't be the one to turn this into an argument. “I don't know because you haven't told me. And that makes it hard. But that's ok. I love you and I have to trust that you will tell me when you are ready.”

 

Tears started in Dee's eyes again. “You're too good for me,” Dee said as he slumped forward, back into Ryo's arms. “You're too good for someone like me.”

 

Ryo held Dee tightly, pulling him closer and into his lap. “No, sweetheart, that's not true. And I know this,” Ryo held Dee curled up against his chest, the larger man's head tucked under Ryo's chin. “I am not too good for you. You are so wonderful and patient and kind and strong and loving and passionate and positive and funny and wonderful; wonderful, wonderful, and more wonderful.”

 

Ryo's praise caused Dee's tears to fall faster and hard, running down Ryo's chest. Ryo just held Dee tightly and started to rock him very slightly, like a mother would; every once in awhile Ryo would murmur “wonderful” into Dee's hair.

 

Eventually Dee's crying slowed again. Dee started to play with the tear tracks on Ryo's chest, seemingly reluctant to break the embrace. Ryo just continued to hold Dee, resting his head on top of Dee's and rubbing Dee's back.

 

The tears had dried and been absorbed into Ryo's skin and Dee was still tracing patterns on his lover's chest. As sleepy and as content and comfortable as Ryo was he still didn't miss the slight change when Dee's stroking seemed to get more deliberate. The once random patterns were turning into lazy loops that were coming closer and closer to some of the more sensitive parts of Ryo's front.

 

The first reaction of Ryo's brain was that he should gently break this off and tuck the two of them back into bed. But before acting on this, Ryo checked with his gut first, just as Dee had so patiently taught him to do in the past couple of years. Ryo's gut thought that some physical expression of love right now was a very good idea. Having sex wouldn't cheapen Dee's distress but would rather confirm and celebrate the new level of intimacy they had achieved. Just as Dee's finger was ghosting Ryo's left nipple, Ryo stroked his right hand down from Dee's back to Dee's ass to continue its caresses in a more suggestive way.

 

Given the go ahead, Dee dropped all pretenses and started to suck one of Ryo's nipples while playing with the other. Dee's other hand worked its way behind Ryo and started to rub the small of Ryo's back, applying a good deal of pressure. Keeping the same amount of pressure, Dee started to move his caresses down the last few of Ryo's vertebrae and down into his cleft.

 

The small, very small part of Ryo's brain that was still capable of logic started to form a plan. As soon as Ryo could force himself to, he used both of his hands to remove Dee's mouth from his sternum. Now attacking Dee's mouth with his own, Ryo started to push Dee back onto the bed, Dee's head landing just short of the pillows. Ryo then stretched out his entire body on top of Dee.

 

As things started to heat up in earnest, Dee tried to flip them over to their usual positions but Ryo resisted without moving his lips from Dee's throat. Ryo didn't need to see the flash of concern that went across Dee's face. Ryo could feel all of Dee tense up underneath him and Ryo knew what that look looked like anyways. Speaking directly into Dee's ear, Ryo said, “Shush, Love, I'm not changing anything.” To prove his point Ryo straddled Dee's waist then scooted down until Dee's excited cock started to nestle itself into Ryo's cheeks. Dee immediately relaxed. “See, Love,” Ryo said, “I just thought you must be worn out and that I should do more of the work this time around.” What Ryo did miss by returning his attention to Dee's collarbone was that Dee's look of relief was heavily weighted with guilt. Dee's face was back to being simply a little sadder version of his `I'm getting lucky' face when Ryo sat up to help Dee pull the pillows down under his head.

 

“You're going to need to help me, though,” Ryo said ashesettled back onto his knees and gave Dee a last few shallow kisses. “We've only done it this way a couple of times and I am afraid,” Ryo gave Dee one of his sheepish grins, “that I can't always pay such good attention once you've got my engine going.”

 

Dee had to grin back at this confession. “That's okay, Lover. And I can never think straight when I am with you. But, sweetheart, I think I should warn you I might get a little…”

 

Ryo looked closely into Dee's eyes when he failed to complete his sentence and saw immediately what it was Dee was having trouble saying. Those fantastic green eyes were getting watery again. “It's all good, Love, all good. This isn't supposed to erase or ignore what you were feeling before.” Ryo gave Dee a long deep kiss. “Let out any emotions you're having. This is just to temper your grief with some joy. It's all the same, it's all good.”

 

Dee looked a bit confounded for a second or two; he couldn't always follow Ryo's deeper thoughts and sometimes got frustrated when Ryo insisted on using his larger vocabulary. Ryo just giggled a little. “I think it's time to stop you from thinking so much. I bet that's what got you in trouble in the first place,” Ryo said as he started to sit up.

 

“Yeah,” Dee said moving one hand to Ryo's hip and the other to hold his dick at the right angle to enter Ryo the easiest, “thinking always gets me in trouble.”

 

Ryo's glib “uh huh” of agreement quickly turned into a sigh of contentment as he lowered himself onto Dee. Oh, man, did Ryo like this. And the fact that they had fallen asleep earlier after a couple of rounds meant that they hadn't had to interrupt the flow to get Ryo's body ready for it. Until a few months ago Ryo couldn't stand going to bed without feeling `clean'; at this particular moment Ryo was really, really glad that he had so easily trained himself to fall asleep while certain parts of his body felt the `dirtiest' they had ever been.

 

Dee's hands on Ryo's hips prodded a little to suggest thatRyo pick himself up again. Ryo lifted up with his knees and slowly let himself down again. Doing this two or three more times however caused Ryo's legs to start to shake a little. “Sweetheart,” Dee said, “let gravity do half the work for you and …*moan* …going faster might be easier.” Ryo followed Dee's advice and found it was less strain to sit up quickly and then just drop. It was even easier when Dee matched his new pace by thrusting his hips and giving Ryo a little boost back up.

 

Ryo found the experience different now that he was the one exerting more energy and responsible for the pace. Even the other few times he had been on top like this, Dee had still taken on most of the exertion picking Ryo up with his arms. Now Ryo had to pay attention and not totally lose himself in the sensations. It didn't take away from the pleasure but it made Ryo look at it and work for it harder.

 

Dee brought his knees up, giving himself much more leverage for his thrusts. While it felt good, Ryo thought he should protest; Ryo really wanted Dee to just relax. But before Ryo could form a sentence Dee said, “Lean back.” When Ryo did he suddenly found `that' spot. Ryo unconsciously picked up speed. Vaguely, Ryo remembered he was going to protest something but for the life of him he couldn't imagine what in the world he could have to protest against at the moment.

 

Looking down towards Dee's face, Ryo was about to make some observation until he saw that Dee's eyes were screwed shut and tears were flowing down the side of his face. However, at the same time that Dee's tears were flowing Dee's eyebrows were up and his mouth was open in the wide silent scream that always announced his coming orgasm.

 

It was the sexiest thing that Ryo had ever seen. Dee was so completely open and vulnerable; all of Dee's cool exterior was shattered and his usually stoic face was a storm of different emotions battling and complementing each other. Ryo just whispered, “cum for me, sweetheart, let it out, let it all go.”

 

With a strangled cry Dee did just that, managing only two more thrusts before he was spent. Dee then brought his hands up to his face and cried.

 

Ryo un-impaled himself and nudged Dee's legs straight before stretching his whole body on top of Dee again. Ryo pushed his arms under Dee's shoulders and hugged Dee tightly. “That's right, sweetheart, let it all go,” Ryo planted little kisses on the back of Dee's wrists, hands, and fingers where they were still held over Dee's face.

 

Ryo went to roll off of Dee, but Dee brought down one arm to keep Ryo where he was. “Can you, would you,” Dee started, “could we just stay like this?”

 

“Of course, Love,” Ryo said settling himself down again. “Feels good sometimes, doesn't it? Having a lover's weight on you afterwards?” Dee nodded. When Ryo shivered a little from the cold air hitting his sweaty back Dee reached over and grabbed the far corners of the comforter and pulled it over them. Ryo snuggled down so his head was resting on Dee's shoulder and pulled his arms out from under Dee's back and cradled them around Dee's head instead. “I'll stay here as long you want me to, I'll stay here forever.”

 

It was a toss up who fell asleep first.

 

End Chapter 1