Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Something Like Forever ❯ Hospitals Get You Thinking ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5—Hospitals Get You Thinking

 

Ryo sat in the cafeteria of the hospital, a cup of coffee and a sheet of paper on the table in front of him and a pen in his hand. He nervously tapped the pen against the paper and every once in awhile he chewed absently on the end of the writing utensil. Then, at last, he started to write, and after that, the words just flowed.

 

He had no idea how long it took him to get the letter finished to his satisfaction but he was sure it had been a very long time. After he'd finally finished it, he picked it up and read it over.

 

Dear Dee,

 

I know the last thing you were probably expecting when you woke up was a letter from me. I know…after all I've put you through, the least I can do is actually visit you in person, right? But…I dunno, I just don't think I can do that yet. It's nothing to do with you, it's just the way it is. The way I am.

 

I really don't know what to say in this letter… I've never written a letter like it, so… I don't even really know why I'm writing it. It just feels…right, you know?

 

Well, I guess the real reason I'm writing this is because it's easier than facing you, but I had to explain to you what's been going on…what I was saying on that phone call that made you break up with me.

 

Yeah, Mother told me. Don't go off on her until you understand how truly awful this night has been for all of us, okay?

 

But…Dee, that phone call…it really wasn't what you think. I mean, yes it was, but…it was for a different reason than you think.

 

Then followed a short explanation of the reason behind the phone call that Dee had heard, and about twelve apologies—all written in twelve different ways—before the subject of the letter changed just a bit.

 

So there you have it. It's no excuse, I know, but…you have to understand that when it comes to Bikky and his happiness…my judgment sometimes gets a little clouded.

 

But I know that the reason you broke up with me isn't entirely about the phone call. It's about me, isn't it? I'm…I know I've been frustrating, and I know you don't like how embarrassed I am to admit that I'm….that I'm gay. (Why was it so hard for me to write that?)

 

I think…no, I know, that you need someone who will tell you they love you and someone who isn't embarrassed to be with you. But…I'm not embarrassed, exactly. I'm just…insecure, I guess.

 

But I'm going to change. If you'll still have me, I'll change. I don't know how long it will take, but I do know you'll be patient. So I'll change. Starting right now.

 

I'm not going to be embarrassed to say it anymore. I love you. I haven't said it since that night on the roof, so I'm going to say it now. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I love the way you would hit me when I try to wake you up for work. I love the way you still look at Rose when he starts flirting with me. I love how you're obsessed with musicals but tell everyone your favorite movie is The Fast and the Furious. I love the way you used to hold me at night, like if you let go something would snatch me away. I love kissing you and hearing you say you love me. I love you, Dee Laytner. And I'll tell it to anyone you want me to.

 

I just don't want the last thing you hear from me to be silence. Hospitals…get you thinking about that sort of thing, I guess. If you…die…tonight… I don't think I could take it, Dee. I need you with me.

 

Please…if we all come through this night sane and….alive….will you come home? Will you come back to me?

 

Okay, that's all I had to say. I'm gonna wrap up this letter and head off to find a doctor and throw questions at him until he's curled up on the floor crying like a little teeny girl. Just seems like the right thing to do at the moment.

 

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…I love you. Don't doubt that, okay?

 

Do you remember…in The Princess Bride…when Westley said “This is true love….you think this happens every day?” My sentiments exactly. I miss you, Dee. I love you. Please forgive me?

 

Love,

Ryo

P.S. You have no idea how often I thought of crumpling this letter up and throwing it in the trash, or crossing out half of what I wrote. Sound more like Ryo now?

 

P.P.S. I love you.

 

Satisfied, Ryo drained the last of his coffee and had just folded the paper and placed it in his pocket when Bikky came rushing into the cafeteria. Spotting Ryo, he ran over to the blond and grabbed his wrist. “I've been looking for you everywhere! Dr. English wants to talk to you.”

 

-----

 

Ryo was certain he couldn't get to the waiting room fast enough. Had he been Superman behind the wheel of the fastest vehicle ever to grace a NASCAR track, he couldn't have gotten to the waiting room fast enough.

 

Dr. English was waiting for them, with Carol and Sister Maria standing next to him, and judging by the expressions on their faces, they hadn't been told anything about Dee yet. They all stood there in nervous, frightened silence for a moment before Dr. English spoke.

 

“You can all stop looking at me like I'm the Grim Reaper. Laytner's gonna be fine.”

 

Ryo blinked, certain he hadn't heard right. “…Huh?” He had been expecting Dr. English to say a great many things, but not that.

 

The others wore similar expressions.

 

Dr. English laughed slightly. “The surgery was successful, and barring any complications, he'll make a full recovery.”

 

“Really?” Bikky asked, trying not to sound like he actually cared, although his voice was rather strangled.

 

“Really. I mean, he won't be a part of the touring company of Riverdance anytime soon, but he'll be up and around and back to his life after a few months and some intense therapy. I give him to eight months to a year for a complete recovery.”

 

Ryo felt his chest constrict, and he took a deep breath, letting it out in a loud sigh, but he didn't say anything. There was really nothing to say.

 

“Can we see him?” Sister Maria asked. She looked very pale and more panicked than Ryo had ever seen her, but she was amazingly calm about the entire situation.

 

“He's still asleep, but you can stay with him until he wakes up. Visiting hours are over but I'll talk to the nurses about letting you stay awhile longer.”

 

“Thank you,” Sister Maria replied. Then she gave Bikky a nudge and they all headed toward Dee's room as Dr. English went over to the desk to speak to the woman behind it.

 

“Er, Mother?” Ryo asked, reaching out to stop the nun as she went to follow Bikky and Carol into Dee's room. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

 

Sister Maria looked surprised, but she nodded and motioned for Bikky and Carol to go sit with Dee. Then she turned to Ryo. “What is it?”

 

“Nothing, I just…I wondered if you could give this to Dee for me? When he wakes up?” As he spoke, Ryo pressed the letter into Sister Maria's hand.

 

The nun took it and stared down at it, confused. “Ryo, what…?”

 

“Don't read it, okay? Just…give it to him.”

 

“But…Ryo. Don't you want to—?”

 

Ryo shook his head sharply. “Not yet. Just…please…give that to him for me?”

 

“Ryo, I—"

 

“Mother, please. I think that letter will fix things. I hope. Please give it to him?”

 

Sister Maria sighed, but nodded. “All right. I'll give it to him.” She turned to enter the room, but then turned back suddenly. “Ryo?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

She gave him a comforting smile. “Everything will be all right, Ryo. You'll see.”

 

Ryo forced a smile in return and nodded, then turned to go find a pay phone.

 

-----

 

27th Precinct

 

JJ and Drake were back in their office and back to their awkwardness. They had originally gone home, but both had given up on trying to sleep and gone back to get more work done. They had run into each other coming through the door, shared a nervous laugh, and gone in. Things had been completely silent since then.

 

“I wonder how Dee's doing…” JJ said conversationally after awhile.

 

“They would have called us if there was any change,” Drake replied, staying as far away from JJ as he could.

 

JJ stood up and walked across the room to the filing cabinet, opening it and pretending to riffle through some papers, when in fact he was studying Drake out of the corner of his eye. He was so busy studying his partner that he wasn't paying attention to his hands, and he dropped half the contents of the drawer on the floor. Cursing, the hyperactive officer knelt and began to gather up the papers. Sighing, Drake sat down and did the same. And then he looked up to see JJ's face right in front of his own, and an intense feeling of déjà vu came over both of them.

 

“We've gotta stop meeting like this,” JJ whispered after a long, tense moment, his face getting closer to Drake's.

 

“Yeah…”

 

That was all Drake was able to get out before their lips met.

 

This time, the detective didn't even think about pulling away, because when the world goes insane, why the hell shouldn't you go along for the ride, right? So the kiss went on passionately and uninterrupted for quite some time until the phone rang.

 

The two sprang apart. A heated blush started at Drake's face and crept to the rest of his body, and he scratched his head, chuckling nervously. “Sorry, man…”

 

“Don't be,” JJ replied, smiling slightly and standing. “I only wish you'd learned to enjoy it sooner.”

 

“JJ—no, I didn't… That didn't mean… I don't… Damn it, JJ!”

 

Chuckling, JJ picked up the phone on his desk. “NYPD 27th precinct, this is— Oh, hey, Ryo. Yeah, Drake's here, too, we were just—"

 

“JJ, don't you dare,” Drake hissed.

 

JJ threw him a smirk, but then his face softened into a smile. “So anyway, what's up, Ryo?” He was silent for a minute, then a relieved smile broke out on his face. “Uh-huh. Okay. So tomorrow, then? Okay, see ya then. Bye, Ryo.” He hung up the phone and turned to Drake, smiling. “Dee's gonna be fine. Ryo said we can drop by sometime tomorrow to see him. He told coming tonight would be pointless, since it's already so late and Dee probably won't wake up for another couple of hours. Sister Maria's with him now, and Bikky and Carol. And Ryo, of course.”

 

“So what's gonna happen to those two now?” Drake asked, though it was obvious that his mind wasn't on Dee and Ryo's relationship.

 

“Dunno. Guess we'll find out tomorrow.”

 

“Guess so.”

 

“So should we cut the cute and get right to the nitty gritty?”

 

“The way you talk is just…wrong, JJ.”

 

“Drake…”

 

“No, we're not gonna talk about it, JJ. Not now, at least. I just…I need to go home and…think.”

 

“So you're at least gonna think about us, then?”

 

“N-no! JJ, there is no us. I…we…you… NO US, JJ!”

 

JJ laughed and finished putting the papers in the filing cabinet before donning his jacket. “See you tomorrow, Drake.”

 

-----

 

Back at the Hospital

 

Sister Maria knew immediately when Dee finally began to stir. Like the vigilant mother she was, the nun had taken up residence by her “son's” bedside and had yet to move. Ryo seemed to have disappeared, and Carol had dozed off on the room's small couch with her head on Bikky's lap. The boy petted his girlfriend's head absently and studied Dee with a thoughtful look on his face. Both snapped to attention when Dee's head turned and his hand tightened on Sister Maria's.

 

“Dee?” Sister Maria inquired softly, leaning forward slightly.

 

“Hmm…hi,” Dee replied hoarsely, trying to open his eyes. “I can't move… Damn, these are some good drugs.”

 

Sister Maria and Bikky burst into quiet laughter, and Bikky gently laid Carol's head on the couch and stood to move to Dee's side. “Hey, pervert,” he said, his voice lacking its usual scorn. “'Bout time you woke up, ya lazy bastard.”

 

Dee laughed tiredly, and tried to force his eyes open. They resisted but consented to open in the end, and the officer blinked groggily and tried to bring the room into focus. “Is everyone okay?”

 

“Everyone except you,” Bikky replied. “Idiot. You scared u—uh, Ryo to death.”

 

“Huh…? Oh…Ryo…where is he?” Dee asked, the words still slightly slurred with exhaustion.

 

“He wandered off somewhere,” Sister Maria replied. “I'm sure he'll be back soon. Just relax, all right? Everything's taken care of.”

 

“Mmm…'kay…”

 

-----

 

That night, Sister Maria took Carol home and Bikky to stay with her, and Ryo stayed at the hospital. He didn't actually enter Dee's room, but he asked Dr. English for regular updates. Dr. English gave the reports willingly but with a look of confusion, clearly wondering why the man didn't just—oh, what's the phrase?—go in. The doctor knew enough to keep his confusion to himself, however.

 

Sister Maria returned with Bikky and Carol at around ten the next morning to find that Ryo had dozed off in the chair outside Dee's room. Smiling slightly, the nun gently shook Ryo's shoulder, and the blond woke immediately. He smiled tiredly at the three. “I just…wanted to make sure nothing happened to him during the night.”

 

Bikky just nodded and went into the room, and Carol followed him.

 

“Are you going to come in, Ryo?” the nun asked gently.

 

Ryo smiled and shook his head. “I'm going to go get some coffee.”

 

“Why don't you go home and get some sleep? Dee's going to be all right, and you've got to get some rest. He's in capable hands, Ryo.”

 

“I know. But…I need to be here.”

 

Sister Maria smiled. “All right. Go get your coffee. We'll be in with Dee.”

 

-----

 

Dee seemed in good spirits that day. He still couldn't sit up very well and that irritated him, but he was more alert and even traded a few insults with Bikky.

 

He was very awake by noon, and Sister Maria deemed it a good time for more serious matters. So she reached into her pocket and took out a small, neatly folded piece of paper.

 

“What's that?” Dee asked, noticing the nun fiddling with the paper.

 

“Ryo asked me to give it to you. He told me not to read it, but—"

 

“Hey, Dee!”

 

Everyone in the room turned to the doorway, and Dee forced a smile, his mind still on the piece of paper in Sister Maria's hand. “Hey, guys.”

 

JJ and Drake entered and dropped into the last remaining chairs. “How are you feeling, stud?” JJ asked, laughing as Drake looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

 

“I was just about to read a letter,” Dee replied, taking the piece of paper. “So if you could refrain from calling me any cutesy and borderline disgusting nicknames, that'd make it a lot easier to concentrate. So shove it, JJ.”

 

“Yep, Dee's back,” Drake said, laughing.

 

Dee looked down at the paper, apprehensive now, and unfolded it slowly.

 

The room was silent as Dee read the letter, a small smile touching his lips every now and then. It was just so…Ryo. So utterly and thoroughly Ryo. He reread the letter twice, then read the closing lines four times, and at last folded it up. “Hand me my phone, will you, Mother?”

 

“What's in the letter, Dee? Who's it from?”

 

Dee ignored JJ and flipped his phone open.

 

“Dee, what's going on? Who wrote you a letter?”

 

No reply.

 

“Dee?”

 

Dee's finger hovered over the number pad on his cell phone, but he hesitated.

 

“Why won't you tell me?”

 

Dee continued to hesitate.

 

“DEE! PLEASE STOP TORTURING ME!”

 

Ah, what the hell.

 

And he pressed a button.

 

-----

 

Ryo had finally left the hospital to get lunch, but he had eaten very little and was walking back to the hospital when his cell phone beeped. Sighing irritably, he took it out, looked at it, and froze. It was a text message from Dee, with only three words.

 

Get in here.

-----

 

Back at the hospital, JJ was practically crying as he begged Dee for information about the letter. Having failed in that course of action, he then began trying desperately to find a way to beat the crap out of Dee and take the letter by force without actually killing the severely injured police officer.

The entire room fell silent, however, as a gentle knock came at the door. Then it opened slowly, and Ryo stepped in and closed the door. “Hey…” he said hesitantly, coming over to Dee's bedside.

 

Everyone in the room was holding their breath.

 

“Hey,” Dee replied softly. “Where ya been?”

 

“Stop kidding around, Dee. You know where I was.”

 

“In the cafeteria?”

 

“Where the happy coffee is.”

 

Ryo was standing at Dee's bedside now.

 

“So, uh…how are you feeling?”

 

“Like hell. Good painkillers, though…I'm flying about two hundred feet in the air right now. There's just…one thing…one drug that they forgot to give me.”

 

“Huh? Do you want me to go get you a nurse?”

 

Dee chuckled. “Nope. You're perfectly qualified to give me my meds.”

 

“Huh? Dee, what—?”

 

Ryo was cut off as Dee's good hand shot out (for a guy who had just gotten blown up, he still had remarkable reflexes) and grabbed his. The next thing he knew, Ryo was falling, and he lips fell against Dee's. Dee suppressed a grunt as Ryo slammed into his recent injuries, but the pain quickly fell away as he pressed his lips to the blond's.

 

Damn, he had missed this.

 

“That was…the worst pickup line in the history of the entire world,” Ryo said softly when their kiss broke.

 

“Shut up, you,” Dee growled lightly, pulling Ryo back in for another kiss.

 

Sister Maria stood and motioned for the others to follow her out of the room. They did so, and the nun closed the door silently.

 

“Well, whatever else happens between us, at least we know that works,” Dee said, as Ryo pulled away.

 

Ryo laughed, but his expression was nervous and a little hesitant. “So…”

 

“Great letter.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Silence.

 

“You know we have to talk about it eventually, right?”

Ryo looked down at the blanket and traced a thread with his finger, opting not to say anything quite yet; he didn't know what to say.

 

“Why didn't you tell me, Ryo?”

 

Ryo looked at his hands. “I didn't want you to feel responsible for anything.”

 

Dee blinked, dumbfounded. “You're an idiot, Ryo.”

 

Ryo laughed. “That's what Bikky said.”

 

“Bikky?”

 

“Yeah. He was…really upset when he found out we'd broken up, but that was nothing compared to how angry he was when he found out why. I think he's still a little mad at me about it.”

 

“Mad at you? Why?”

 

“Now who's an idiot? He loves you like a father, Dee. He misses you.” The blond paused. “We both do.”

 

“Ryo… I swear, if I'd known… I wouldn't have left if…”

 

“I know. You still would have been mad, though. Not that I blame you. You really…thought I didn't love you, didn't you?”

 

“Well what the hell was I supposed to think?”

 

Ryo considered, and suddenly he laughed bitterly. “You're right.”

 

“…Huh?”

 

“I said it in my letter, but until now, I don't think it really hit me just how stupid I've been lately.” Sighing, he leaned in and kissed Dee. “Look, I know we still have a lot to work out, but…when you get out of here…are you coming home?”

 

Dee smiled, and reached out to stroke Ryo's hair gently. “Yeah. I'm coming home.”

 

A relieved smile stretched across Ryo's face. “Good.”

 

-----

 

Outside, everyone but Sister Maria was vying for the prime listening spot at the door and arguing in annoyed whispers.

 

“Ow!”

 

“Bikky, that was my foot!”

 

“Drake, move!”

 

“Damn you, JJ!”

 

“Get off me!”

 

“Ow!”

 

Sister Maria watched with an amused expression on her face, and Dr. English stood next to her. “You people are all insane….” he muttered, fighting his curiosity and telling himself that he, as a medical professional, was above such petty endeavors as this. At last, though, he sighed in defeat and went to listen with them.

 

“You do surprise me, Dr. English,” Sister Maria said, laughing.

 

At that moment, the hallway erupted in cheers as inside the room, Dee said he would move back in with Ryo.

 

-----

 

For the rest of the day, Ryo and Dee sat there together, uninterrupted except for the occasional nurse and Dr. English. They spent the entire time talking—about their relationship problems, partly, but also about anything and everything that came into their heads—and by the time they ran out of things to say, Dee's eyes were falling closed. In spite of the pain he was feeling and the exhaustion that was singing in every muscle, he was filled with contentment and absolute peace.

 

“You should sleep, Dee,” Ryo said softly.

 

“Mmm…yeah…”

 

Ryo smiled. “G'night, Dee.” He hesitated, then leaned down and kissed Dee's forehead. “I love you.”

 

“Love you, too….”

 

-----

 

A few days later, Ryo returned to the hospital after work to find Dee sitting up, propped up by a rather large stack of pillows, and reading an issue of Sports Illustrated. “I don't think I've ever fully appreciated Rick Riley before now,” Dee said, tossing the magazine onto the nightstand. “Dear God, I'm bored.”

 

Ryo laughed. “Well, I've got good news. We've got the case wrapped up. The guy you killed was the last of his family, so we've got no worries about any of those lunatics coming back. Cecily told me she and her family have been to see you three times and that Robin won't stop talking about you, so that's good, too. The paperwork's almost done, I've punched Rose twice, and JJ's on this creepy quest for Drake's affections, which is just…weird.” He smiled and leaned over to kiss his lover. “Hi.”

 

“Hi. When are you busting me out of here?”

 

“You haven't even been here a week, Dee.”

 

“I can't help it, I'm bored. Hey, come back here.” Dee reached out with his good arm to grab Ryo's tie and pulled him in for another deep kiss. “Bikky around?” he asked as Ryo pulled away.

 

“Yeah, he's—"

 

“I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, I SWEAR!”

 

“Right here, apparently.”

 

At that moment, Dr. English came in, dragging Bikky along by the ear.

 

“He's doing the ear thing, Ryo, make him stop! Ow, ow, ow!”

 

“Get this…monster out of my hospital,” Dr. English said, trying for a stormy expression and failing miserably. “He's hitting on all the nurses and one of them strong-armed him into a wall.”

 

“Bikky…”

 

Dee roared without laughter. “Wait till I tell Carol!”

“DON'T YOU DARE, YOU SICK, DEMENTED PERVERT!”

 

Ryo sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling a headache building.

 

“You okay, Ryo?” Dee asked as Dr. English began one of his examinations.

 

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm good. I'm gonna go get some coffee.”

 

“Okay.”

 

As Ryo stepped out the door, he had to laugh as Dee said, “Not sure how comfortable I am with you touching me there, doc.” However, he felt a wave of dizziness come over him soon after, and he leaned against the wall.

 

God, he was tired….

 

-----

 

After Dr. English left, Dee asked Bikky, “So, monkey…is there something wrong with Ryo?”

 

“Nope. Not that I know of.”

 

“He looks tired.”

 

“Yeah, he hasn't slept much lately. Dunno why. He drops off for a couple of hours every night, but usually he gets up around midnight and started wandering around the house. It's creepy.”

 

“Oh…”

 

-----

 

Bikky went home about an hour later, and Ryo sat at Dee's bedside, trying desperately to stay awake.

 

“Ryo?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You need to get some rest.”

 

“What are you talking about? I'm fine.”

“No you're not. You're exhausted. You're pushing yourself too hard. You've gotta get some sleep.”

 

“I have been sleeping.”

 

“Liar.”

 

Silence.

 

“Come on, why haven't you slept?”

 

“I…can't.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Nightmares. About…you…not being here anymore…”

 

Dee looked confused. “What?”

 

“Every time I close my eyes…I have a nightmare. About the future. One without you in it. And…that scares me. More than I ever would have admitted before.”

 

Dee stared at him for a moment, and he felt a lump come into his throat. But he covered it with a very manly, exasperated sigh. “Come on.”

 

“Huh?”

 

He moved over on the bed, grimacing in pain, and motioned for Ryo to lay next to him. “Get over here.”

 

“Dee, I dunno…the nurses wouldn't like it…”

 

“So?”

 

“And…you're hurt…”

 

“Ryo, come on.”

 

“But…”

“Damn it, Ryo, just get in the godforsaken bed.”

 

Smiling slightly, Ryo lowered himself carefully onto the mattress, stretching out. His aching muscles immediately stopped screaming at him, and he closed his eyes contentedly. Then he turned on his side and rested his arm very gently on Dee's chest, taking Dee's good hand in his own, just needing to have some sort of contact with his lover.

 

Dee turned his head so that it was buried in Ryo's hair, and inhaled deeply. “Your hair smells like vanilla,” he said softly, kissing the top of his lover's hair.

 

No answer.

 

Ryo was already asleep.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------

 

So there you go. It was crappy and rushed, but it was there. If no one likes that, maybe I'll go back and write it so it's better. Right now I'm exhausted and my eyes hurt, so I'm gonna go to bed. I think I've just got one chapter left to wrap things up, two at the most. And then this story goes bye-bye and I start another one. Or finish others. Or both. I dunno. God, I'm tired….