Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Three Times A Charm ❯ Chapter 13

Title: Three Times A Charm: Chapter 13

Author: JadeHeart

Archived: found on AdultFanfcition. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!

Fandom: Fake

Rating: X

Warnings: yaoi, angst

Timeline: follows on directly from the end of Vol 7

Summary: The first tentative steps back on the path to love…

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this, they belong to the creators of `Fake', nor am I making any profits from it.

 

 

 

Chapter 13

 

Ryo was finding it hard; hard to concentrate at work, hard to concentrate at home, just hard to concentrate, full stop.

 

It had been four days since Dee's secondment had begun, and they had seemed like the longest four days of Ryo's life. He hadn't realized till now how much a part of his daily routine involved Dee. If he wasn't crashing at Ryo's place, or vice versa, so they saw each other first thing in the morning, they would see each other at the start of shift.

 

Ryo had become used to hearing Dee's cheerful voice call out a greeting to him, either preceded or followed by the Chief's bellow at his tardiness, depending on if Dee had managed to sneak past the Chief's office or not. He had become so accustomed to JJ's daily attacks on Dee and his attempts to evade them, which were the talk, and amusement, of the entire precinct. Not that JJ cared in the least! There was one man who really didn't give a damn at all what anyone thought, though Ryo was beginning to suspect that there were far greater depths to JJ than he let on to anyone, including his beloved Dee.

 

Ryo had become so accustomed to looking up from his desk to see his partner sitting opposite him working, or more likely he would be trying to ignore the spit balls Dee would be throwing his way to get his attention away from the reports and back on Dee himself, where he believed it should be!

 

He had become so used to just having Dee there!

 

Now, with Dee gone, there was just ...emptiness. Their office no longer seemed to buzz with that `Dee energy'. The Chief was quiet with no one to yell at, there were no dry comments from Commissioner Rose without Dee to direct them to. When they all gathered in meetings or during lunch breaks, there just wasn't the same banter that would have occurred with Dee still amongst them.

 

Ryo knew that he wasn't the only one missing Dee. JJ was devastated about being left behind by his beloved, moping around the office. Drake had no one to really sympathise with the fact that he was partnered with JJ, and Ted bemoaned the fact that he had lost his drinking buddy and he missed the all-nighters that he, Drake and Dee used to have once.

 

Ryo stayed silent and never told anyone that he was missing his partner so much that it was making him physically ill. Sometimes it would just overwhelm him and he had to make a dash for the bathroom, throwing up, and as a result he was extremely wary of food at the moment, forgoing it most of the time and just settling for the odd cup of coffee and a quick bite of salad in the evenings at home with Bikky.

 

Four days - such a long four days. The rose that Dee had left for him was in a small vase on his desk. He had considered taking it home but he wanted to leave it here, and he didn't care how odd it may have looked for a man to have a flower on his desk. He wanted to be able to look at it every day, be able to reach out and touch it gently, and remember. It was the last thing he had of Dee in this place. He had noticed today that it was beginning to look a little wilted and the thought of its beauty fading made his heart ache. He knew realistically that it couldn't last forever; at full bloom a cut flower didn't have a lengthy lifespan, certainly not cooped up in an office and being subjected to the dust, with no direct sunlight, and nothing more to try and thrive upon. Yet for all that, Ryo still wished it would continue to remain the same, frozen in time for all eternity. An irrational portion of his mind felt that when the rose withered so would Dee's love, and he would lose his partner forever.

 

He opened the door to his apartment and threw himself thankfully onto the couch, kicking his shoes off. He thought about getting up and going into the bedroom to take out the card Dee had sent him and read it again - for probably the thousandth time. Ryo would gaze upon that familiar writing, reading the words over and over again, lovingly tracing the lines with his fingertips as though he could reach out and touch the hand that wrote it. He had been certain to bring the card home with him; that he would never have dared to leave in the office for someone to accidentally find. This was for him, and him alone.

 

He tried again to get the energy up to move, but couldn't, remaining where he was. The lack of food over the past few days was sapping his energy badly. In a moment, he thought tiredly, eyes drifting shut. He would get up in a moment.

 

I wonder what Dee is doing now, Ryo's mind lazily drifted to thoughts of his partner. He would probably be home by now, although that would depend on what shift he was on. Ryo had wanted to call Dee so many times but he had managed to hold himself back. He didn't want to crowd Dee. Dee had said that he wanted to think, that's why he had gone. If Ryo continued to bother him it would hardly be helping. As much as Ryo longed to speak to Dee, longed to hear his voice, he didn't have the right to trouble him.

 

The phone jangled, startling him. He looked across to it, wondering whether to bother getting up to answer or just let the answering machine pick it up. It rang again. With a sigh, he levered himself to his feet and shuffled across, picking up the phone from its cradle.

 

“Hello?” he answered. If it was just some tele-marketing company he was going to be really pissed off!

 

“Hi!” Ryo's breath caught in his throat at the familiar voice.

 

“Dee!” he almost shouted with joy.

 

“Whoa, there!” Dee almost shouted back. “That's loud, pal!”

 

“Sorry,” Ryo dropped his tone to a more conversational level.

 

“That's okay. How's it going?”

 

“Oh, Dee,” Ryo didn't know where to begin, or what to say. He was just so glad to hear Dee's voice. It was enough to make him want to cry, feeling the tears trickle down his cheek.

 

“Hey, you all right?” Dee sounded worried. “You sound funny.”

 

Ryo smiled to himself. “I'm fine now,” he answered honestly, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, phone held closely to his ear. “It's really good to hear your voice.” he admitted.

 

“You too,” Dee said softly.

 

Ryo felt his whole body grow warm. “I…” Ryo cleared his throat and then continued again. “I've wanted to call you, but didn't think you would want me to.”

 

“Why the hell not?” Dee sounded surprised.

 

“You said you wanted to think, so I thought…” Ryo trailed off.

 

“You dumbass!” Dee said, exasperation clearly in his tone. “Did you really think that I didn't want to speak to you? Yeah, I want to think, but it doesn't mean that we can't still keep in touch.” There was a pause. “Unless you don't want to?”

 

“No! I mean, yes! I mean…” Ryo stumbled over what he was trying to convey, his words becoming more jumbled.

 

“Hey, calm down, Ryo!” Dee said soothingly. “I know what you mean, okay? Don't stress.”

 

Ryo let out a deep sigh, trying to gain his equilibrium again. “Okay. Good. I just thought that if you wanted to think you wouldn't want me to bother you.”

 

“Nah, it's fine,” Dee said, and Ryo could almost picture him waving the comment aside. He heard to soft exhale and knew that Dee was smoking. “I just think that we've both done a lot of talking, and now it's time for us to do some serious thinking. After that, we can talk some more. I think we just tend to be more of a distraction to each other at the moment and we're not really accomplishing anything. So let's just take it easy, okay?”

 

“I didn't mean to upset you that night. I just meant….” Ryo began, when Dee interrupted, “Don't.” he warned softly. “Don't, Ryo. Please. Let's not go there again.”

 

Ryo thought he could hear pain in Dee's voice and he swallowed hard against the lump in his own throat. What had he done? How could he fix this? How could he make Dee come back?!

 

“I just...” he said a little brokenly.

 

“I know,” Dee replied. “Look, let's just leave it for the moment, okay? There's no point going over old ground right now. Later. We can talk about it all later.”

 

“Sure, if that's what you want.”

 

“It is,” Dee answered simply. “And I think you could do with the space too.”

 

Clearing his throat, Ryo took them into more neutral ground. “So how's the 22nd?”

 

“It's good. The guys here are a pretty okay bunch. Not as interesting as our lot. You know what? I think somehow we got all the loonies in the 27th! There doesn't seem to be so many anywhere else!”

 

“So what does that say about you and me?” Ryo asked with a smile, pushing back his hair.

 

“We're the only sane ones.”

 

Ryo chuckled. “However, if you are insane amongst other insane people, wouldn't you maybe think that you were sane when you're not?”

 

“Stop trying to be so deep!” Dee growled.

 

There was a clicking sound down the line. “Dee, are you having another cigarette already?” Ryo asked.

 

“Huh?”

 

Ryo could imagine the expression on Dee's face, the look of getting sprung doing something he shouldn't have. “Well, I was almost finished the other when I called you.” Dee tried to defend himself.

 

“I hope you're not smoking more than you usually do?” Ryo let a touch of scolding enter his voice.

 

“Well, um…” Dee mumbled. “No more than normal.” he tried to say.

 

“Really?” Ryo asked sternly.

 

“Yeah, really. It's not like I'm doing the `cigarette-after-sex' type of thing!”

 

Ryo laughed softly. “You know, I never really saw you do that anyway.” Ryo just realized that it was absolutely true. In the time that they had been together, Dee had never rushed to get to his cigarettes after each time like the cliché that is often used.

 

“Well, I know that you're not real keen on it so it can't be too pleasant to have me lighting up straight away. And to be honest, I would rather expend the energy being with you than chasing a smoke.”

 

Ryo smiled to himself again. “That's nice to know,” he said quietly. “Thank you.”

 

“Hey, not a problem.”

 

“Are you working on anything interesting?”

 

“A couple of things. Sorry I can't talk about them with you.”

 

“That's okay,” Ryo assured him. He knew that Dee wouldn't have been able to discuss in detail any aspect of a case he was working. Just as Ryo wouldn't be able to do so either. “Nothing too dangerous, I hope.”

 

“Oh, no more so than usual.”

 

“You will be careful, won't you?” Ryo said worriedly.

 

“Course I will. Don't stress. I'm watching my back.”

 

“What's your new partner like?”

 

“John. He's a good guy. It was lucky that we pretty much hit it off straight away. He's pretty funny, a bit of a prankster. You've got to watch him with that. Yesterday he filled up all the sugar shakers with salt, went through the entire precinct and made the switch, must have taken him hours to do. It was the funniest thing out!”

 

Ryo was glad Dee had someone to get along with, but he couldn't stop the stab of jealousy at Dee's easy banter about his new partner. What if Dee found he liked this new partner better than Ryo - in more ways than one?

 

“Should I worry?” he couldn't help asking, not too sure if he really wanted to know or not. What would he do if Dee said that there was something going on?

 

“Course not, dolt!” Dee said sharply. “He doesn't hold a candle to you! He's all beard and bristles, and built like a brick shit-house, not to mention he's as straight as they come! He's married and already got three kids biting his ankles! So don't fret, sweetheart, I'm all yours still!”

 

“I'm glad about that,” Ryo said, relief colouring his voice and he didn't care if Dee heard it or not. “So is this secondment really going to be for a few months?”

 

“Yeah, probably.”

 

“Are you…” Ryo paused, wondering whether to continue to not.

 

“Am I what?” Dee prompted.

 

“Are you really going to stay with it for that long?”

 

“Yep. I can hardly pull out now when I've already agreed to give them a hand. They really do need it, you know. It's not just something cooked up by Rose to get me out of the precinct and away from you.”

 

“Well, I guess it can't be helped then.” Ryo was still disappointed. “Do you…do you want to talk about anything now? You know, about us?” Ryo asked, pulling at a lock of hair on his neck nervously. He didn't know what Dee might want to say or have been thinking about.

 

“Nah, not yet.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Don't worry. We will. Promise. I just don't want to rush into it or we'll both end up saying things we don't mean, or getting all confused about what we're trying to say. I think that could be some of the problem. We've both been trying so hard to make sense of it all and dancing around each other that I don't think either of us have actually got to the real issues. So a bit of time away to think through stuff should help both of us clear our heads.”

 

“I know,” Ryo agreed quietly then said almost breathlessly. “I miss you.”

 

There was silence for a moment, then Dee answered almost so softly that Ryo could hardly hear him. “That makes me so happy to hear you say that. I miss you too.”

 

“It's going to be a long couple of months.” Ryo sighed.

 

“Yeah. But, hey, we can still try and catch up sometimes!” Dee said suddenly, sounding more like his chipper self. “We should be able to swing a lunch or coffee, or something at some point with our shifts. If you want to?”

 

“I'd like that,” Ryo said, a smile on his lips once more.

 

“Did…. did you get my message?” Dee asked hesitantly.

 

Ryo's smile deepened, thinking of the rose residing on his desk. “Yes, I got it. Thank you.”

 

A soft sigh fluttered down the line to Ryo's ear. “I'm glad. I didn't know if you would think it was a bit…I don't know, corny?”

 

“Not at all. I thought it was the most romantic gesture anyone had ever done for me. It meant a lot.”

 

“It was all I could think of.”

 

“It was beautiful, Dee.”

 

There was silence for a moment and then Dee spoke again. “I'd better go. I've got the early shift in the morning.” Dee sounded reluctant to end the call and Ryo felt the same way, but he at least now knew that Dee wasn't trying to avoid him completely so he shouldn't keep Dee any longer.

 

“You'd better go then. You don't want to start the same trend at the new precinct as you do here by always being late for shift.”

 

“Hey, why break a good habit when you've got it!”

 

“Hardly a good habit!”

 

“It's at least a habit.”

 

“Yeah, it's called a bad one!”

 

“Don't split hairs.”

 

Silence again, then Ryo heard Dee sigh down the phone. “Good night, Ryo. Call me sometime, okay?”

 

“I will.”

 

“Promise?” Dee pleaded.

 

“Promise.” Ryo said firmly, reassuring him.

 

“Okay. Sleep tight. Will you, may be, think of me a little?”

 

“Always.” Ryo replied breathlessly, hearing Dee's breath catch down the line.

 

“Gods, you sound so sexy!” Dee's voice cracked a little, then he cleared his throat. “Well, you've given me something to think about to have nice dreams. Hope you do the same.”

 

“I'm sure I will.” Silence. “Take care, Dee.”

 

“You too. Talk to you soon.”

 

“You will. Night.” Ryo heard the silence stretch, the soft breathing, then finally the phone clicked as Dee hung up. He looked down at the now silent phone in his hand, running the conversation through his mind. A smile still touched his lips. Things were still okay with he and Dee. They just had to do some thinking. Dee was probably absolutely right about things this time. Ryo knew that he had to do some soul searching. He missed Dee terribly, but he had to determine just where in his life Dee fitted. It wasn't easy at the moment. Dee was probably trying to work out exactly the same things.

 

Ryo stood and dropped the phone back into its cradle. At least the two of them were still talking and they could try and catch up at some point during their shifts. It was only for a couple of months probably, it wouldn't really be that long.

 

He turned towards the bedroom. He was tired, but now the tiredness was touched with relief. He had a quick shower and snuggled into the middle of his large bed, wrapping his arms around one of the large pillows.

 

Dee….., he thought sleepily as his eyes closed and an image of Dee's face filled his last conscious thoughts.