Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Time for Healing ❯ Powerless to Change Your World ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: We do not own FAKE or its characters. They belong to Sanami Matoh, lucky girl! Any original characters belong to either Irish or Wildefyre.
Warnings: Thus far just Shounen AI but then again that's what FAKE is anyway. It may become Yaoi further along. This may have the guys out of Character somewhat, so Gomen for that and we are taking some creative freedom on histories & backgrounds as well as current lives so be prepared...

"Okay is that everything Dee?" Ryo raced around trying to tidy up from Dee's latest mishap and rant, while at the same time making sure that Dee was comfortable. It had al started when Bikky had left a game controller out of the cabinet and Dee had tripped on it while attempting to get up by himself and come into the kitchen. Once Ryo had gotten him to his feet, Dee had gone off about Bikky's carelessness and how he was nothing but trouble. Ryo did his best to calm Dee but he was all ready past that and started swinging his cane, knocking things off of tables and shelves. For the first time since Dee had been given the cane, Ryo had to fight the urge to grab the offending item and knock Dee over the head with it.

"I'm fine now! What time is it?" Dee asked, annoyed with the prospect of being stuck talking to a stranger for a few hours.

"Damn it's almost six." Ryo replied and noticed that he still had half the mess to clean up. Just as he started back in on it, a knock came at the door. "Please tell me they aren't early! They have kids, they shouldn't be. It goes against every parental rule out there." Ryo scrambled for the door, opening it to find Lyn and Andrew along with the girls standing there.

"C-Come on in." Ryo stammered, looking frazzled and ready to fall over.

Andrew stepped in first, quiet little Annie in her sling was strapped to him. Her dark round eyes poured over the room, her hand fisted in Andrew's shirt a bit nervous at the new place. Lyn followed with Keiry strapped to his back as always.

"Good evening Ryo, Dee." Andrew greeted them with a gentle smile.

Dee simply huffed his response as he sat there with his arms crossed at his chest. Ryo sighed in exasperation. "Please have a seat. Can I get you anything?" Ryo asked as he began the task of picking up the many things still strewn about.

"Gomen... err Sorry about the mess. Dee had a little accident." Ryo lowered his gaze trying to cover for him as always.

"Damn you Dee! You broke the angel figurine that Aunt Elena had given me." He said as he picked up the broken pieces and looking at them sadly.

"It's not my fault that it was in the way." Dee shot back, listening and trying to determine where the others were in the room.

"Three feet to your right and about five feet in front of you." Andrew said to Dee, while Lyn turned to Ryo.

"We're fine thank you. Let me help." Keiry was still on his back as he knelt and began to help Ryo pick up what ever had been knocked to the ground, squealing in delight at the 'roller coaster' ride her dada Lyn gave when bending over to pick something up and then standing straight again.

"Where's Bikky?" Andrew asked by way of conversation, sliding Annie out of her sling to hold her in his arms, letting her teeth on a section of his ponytail.

"The brat is in his room." Dee responded morosely.

"Dee! Be nice!" Ryo sighed and then smiled at Lyn and Keiry. "Thanks. I guess I can get Bikky to get the rest up." Ryo took the pieces and headed into the kitchen to throw them out while at the same time yelling for Bikky to come out a minute.

"Oh Bikky." Ryo jumped when he came into the living room and saw him standing there. "I want you to meet some friends." Ryo was about to make the introductions when Bikky turned to view the mess still on the floor.

"Hey nice going bozo! Man you left a huge mess for Ryo to clean up." Bikky smirked.

"Shut up you little brat!" Dee growled. "Why on earth Ryo wants you here is beyond me!"

"I can say the same thing about you, you perv!"

"Dee! Bikky!" Ryo scowled, glaring at Bikky and then at Dee.

The lanky Irishman cleared his throat reminding the squabbling duo that there were indeed other people in the room. "Hi Bikky, I'm Lyn, we talked on the phone briefly the other night... and this is my own personal pervert, Andrew." Lyn said with an amused smirk of his own, earning him a gentle elbow in the ribs from Andrew.

"And these are our Daughters. Keiry here is on my back and Andrew has Annie." Lyn smiled at the boy, and was met with a hard look. "Now that's a look that would freeze beer." He commented mildly.

"Oh great more pervs!" Bikky stated bluntly. "See what kind of bad influence you are on Ryo? Why don't you just leave him alone!" Bikky sneered at Dee.

"BIKKY! That's enough!" Ryo looked at him. "Now you will apologize to our guests and then I want you to clean this mess up for me. I'm going out for a little."

"NO WAY! Make the asshole clean it! He did it! I heard him in here screaming at you and all! I'm not cleaning his tantrum mess up." Bikky stood there with his head looking away from Ryo, eyes shut and arms crossed in total defiance.

"Bikky just do it okay? Listen I need to get out for awhile okay?" Ryo knelt down to his height, giving him a weak smile. "I need a break. Can you understand that?"

"Why? You can't go out! I need you to help me with my science project."

"We'll start on it tomorrow. I promise." Ryo pleaded with his eyes. His hands began shaking and he worked at steadying them. This break was more then needed for him, why couldn't they see that?

"Join the crowd brat! We're not good enough for him. He wants to abandon us." Dee chimed in and Ryo found himself standing then quickly rushing into the kitchen. It was just too much and the worse part was that it never stopped.

The men exchanged looks. Andrew shook his head, Lyn nodded, not a word spoken, yet something had been decided. Andrew and Annie went into the kitchen while Lyn knelt continuing to clean as he spoke to Bikky and Dee. "You two are really hard on him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dee sat there, angered by Lyn's comment while Bikky continued standing there and watching with some amount of curiosity. "So he's a little more sensitive then normal lately. He's a cop dammit. He's used to things being hard. He'll get over it." Bikky finally understood what Lyn was getting at, bent down to begin picking things up and also taking things from Lyn to put back in their place.

"Thanks Bikky." He offered the boy a smile then with a conspiratorial wink stuck out his tongue to show off a small silver stud he had.

"You're his partner Dee! His lover. Your job is not to test his mettle it's to be his respite from the day. You're struggling right now but so is he. You need to meet him half way or he's going to have a nervous break down. I kid you not." Lyn reprimanded turning his attention to Dee.

"Partner? Yes. Lover... I only wish!" Dee knew that Bikky was standing there but he didn't care. This stranger was pissing him off and he wasn't about to back down now. "I've seen him handle tougher things than this." Dee stated matter-of-factly.

"Besides, I'm the one who's the blind cripple here! He at least has his sight... If anyone should be breaking down it's me! I'm the one dammit!" Dee glowered behind the sunglasses he more lately.

Bikky simply stood there, still enamored by the tongue piercing Lyn had. He was worried about Ryo as well and was tempted to go into the kitchen to see how he was. Lyn's statement hit him hard. Ryo was strong that was true but even the strongest of souls can break after awhile.

Lyn's eyes crossed. 'Damn was this man dense or what?' "Yes... Detective Dee Latener... it's all about you. Excuse me while I play world smallest violin." With the floor effectively cleaned up Lyn moved over to crouch and in front of Dee at eye level despite Dee's inability to see him.

"We have all lived through tough times Dee. You can't see Andrew so you don't know... but he was a proud independent man, a nationally known martial artist and now he can't manage more then two flights of stairs and might never again. Ryo has to watch you struggle, watch your pain, knowing all he can do is try his best. Yet from what I've seen all you do is tell him his best is not good enough. Ryo's a good man and if you don't open your metaphorical eyes and see what you're doing to him. you're going to loose him. And from what I've seen, maybe you deserve to."

"What do you want me to do? I can't see! I may never see again! I have these frigging braces on my knees so that I can barely walk... and may have to have more surgery on them in the future! What the hell here I am sleeping in his bed finally and... I can't even make love to him. Not with the pain that shoots through my legs..." Dee practically whispered the last part because of Bikky being there.

"So help me pervert! If you even try I'll bust your balls!" Bikky had heard it all and now his anger was being renewed.

Lyn turned to Bikky, smiling at the boy. "Hey tiger do me a favor, go start on your Science project and I will send Andrew in to help you in a little bit. He's pretty good at stuff like that."

"Yeah am scram brat!" Dee smirked.

"Shut up you pervert! If it weren't for you, Ryo and I would be happier!" Bikky sneered and then headed for his room. Actually if Dee were more like Lyn he might be able to accept it all. Lyn was cool, Dee wasn't.

"Kids are evil!" Dee stated and went to move only the pain in his knees caused him to cry out suddenly. "Dammit! RYO!"

"Frankly I adore my children. Leave him be. What do you want?" Lyn asked standing to rock back and forth in attempt to soothe Keiry who was starting to fuss over still being kept on Lyn's back and away from the action.

"Ryo knows what I want... Just tell him to get in here... I also need to use the can!" Dee said it but something inside of him twitched. He hadn't heard a sound out of Ryo for several minutes and that worried him a little. He didn't know these guys. What if...?

"Where the hell is Ryo?" Dee stated unsure about the true intentions of the strangers now there.

"He's in the kitchen with Andrew trying to regain his composure I'm sure... besides your cane is just to your left. Find the can on your own. The door hasn't moved." With that Lyn stood up, peeking into Bikky's room briefly before joining the palaver in the kitchen. He smiled apologetically. "Sorry to interrupt guys... What does Dee want, I will get it for him... and I told him to find his own way to the bathroom."

Ryo looked up with red swollen eyes. "He must be referring to his pain meds I think. They're in the bed room on... the nightstand. If he needs help I-I should go and help him."

Ryo went to stand only to find himself leaning against the table as the room began spinning around him. Both Lyn and Andrew moved forward at the same time to catch him, Annie giving a squawk of surprise as she was jolted from her dozing.

Seeing that his partner had it, Andrew sat back down. speaking softly as Lyn's hand came up to feel Ryo's brow and check his pulse. "Whoa there buddy. Careful now. You just sit and we'll take care of it."

Lyn nodded in agreement. "Besides he will never figure anything out if you do it all for him. Andrew, I think there is some Chamomile in the diaper bag and I'm sure that Ryo has anise in his cupboards to make some tea."

Andrew nodded, a big hand still on Ryo's shoulder. "You alright Ryo?"

"Why? Why did this woman do this to Dee?" Ryo sniffled. "I want to make things better but I don't know how...? I feel so helpless." He started rocking as tears streamed down his cheeks. "If I had just gotten to his apartment sooner! If I hadn't been so damn selfish and gone home to grab a shower and something to eat first! I may have been able to stop it from happening... I may have been able to save him from this pain!" Ryo started shaking uncontrollably. All of his pain was coming to the surface rapidly. "Oh God I could have done more! I could have... It should be me in Dee's place. It should be me!"

Andrew looked helplessly at Lyn's retreating back. There was a reason Lyn was a lawyer, he had a way with words. Andrew swallowed, patting Ryo on the back. "Take a deep breath Ryo. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Calm down and I will tell you a story... Me and Lyn's story really I guess."

Ryo could only nod. The emotions were just too high. He sat there shaking, tears still falling. "How have you and Lyn managed through this Andrew? What can I do to help Dee? I want to help him so badly... I want my Dee back!"

Andrew thought a moment, rocking his youngest daughter in his arms. "I don't know how we've managed... There have been times when we almost haven't... like we're about to just... fly off into space or something. You can only help him as much as he's willing to help himself." Andrew paused taking a deep breath, searching for the words. "Lyn and I... we both internalize. We don't let anyone know that we are hurting. After I got out of the hospital we... we were so afraid to tell each other what we needed..."

Andrew cleared his throat, fishing a bottle out of the diaper bag at his feet for Annie. His voice was soft, and calm as he spoke in fits and starts. "Lyn wanted to help... I wanted Lyn to help but I wanted to... to feel useful too. Lyn couldn't do everything but he tried and it made both of us nuts until we were sleeping in separate beds. If Lyn slept at all that is." Another lingering pause silenced the kitchen before Andrew picked up again. "Finally we just... talked about it I guess. He told me that I had to help out around the house because he couldn't do it all. At first I was scared... felt like I couldn't do anything. But hey even a cripple can fold towels."

"But you two had a relationship before all of it happened..." Ryo reached down and put a hand on Andrew's shoulder, giving him a knowing look. "Dee had been waiting for 2 years to hear me tell him how I felt and when I finally find the courage to... I almost never got the chance to." Ryo closed his eyes.

"I can't get the images out of my mind. I-I found Dee. I thought that he was dead... I thought that I had lost him." Dark eyes started tearing up. "I'm afraid of losing him..."

Andrew nodded as he listened, watching Ryo carefully. "But you did get the chance. He's still here. He's scared and he doesn't feel whole. He's a whiner but I think you should maybe try making him feel useful instead of taking care of him. There is no reason he can't fold towels do laundry, make the bed... " Andrew adjusted Annie and the bottle that her little hands gripped and then looked up, his peaceful gray eyes meeting Ryo's.

"You love him Ryo and he loves you, despite all of this. You are both strong men. Tell him exactly how you feel, all of it. About being over burdened about your fear of losing him... and ask him to do the same."

"I will. Thank you." Ryo gave him a weak smile. "Gomen nasai for being such a bother. This is the last thing either you or Lyn need right now." Ryo looked down at the child in Andrew's arms. "I should see if Dee's okay."

A gently smile turned Andrew's lips. "Nah, Lyn and I are fine and just leave him be. Neither he nor Lyn are screaming or breaking things yet and Lyn's got a bit of an Irish temper so they are probably okay. Let me make you some tea." Andrew deposited the dozing infant in Ryo's arms, no hesitation in turning the child over as he stood getting his crutches under him and taking the chamomile out of the diaper bag. He fumbled through the cabinets for the anise Lyn had told him to use and a tea kettle.

"The anise is in the top right cabinet. and the tea kettle is on the shelf by the fridge if not there then in the cabinet right below." Ryo said and gently rocked Annie, singing softly to her. "Golden slumbers kiss your eyes, smiles awake you when you rise, sleep pretty loved one, do not you cry and I will sing a lullaby..." Ryo found the need of a child to be so much more calming and his heart swelled over the sight of the sleeping bundle in his arms. "You're a gift from the heavens little one." He bent down and kissed her forehead, sighing softly as she slumbered, brushing the fine hair from her brow.

The cursing and sound of pill bottles being picked up and dropped lead Lyn to the master bedroom where Dee sat on the large brass bed. "Hard to read the labels huh? Ryo damn near passed out on us in there a moment ago. Not that that means much to Dee Latener 'Super Jerk' but next time you call and he doesn't answer it might be because he's unconscious on the floor somewhere."

Dee stiffened immediately. "W-What? I-Is he o-okay?" His heart started racing. "I-I didn't know... Jesus..." Dee ran a shaky hand through his ebony locks, feeling guilty as hell now. "Could you tell what may be wrong with him?" He cocked his head to the side and listened, waiting for some form of response.

"Stress..." Lyn replied easily, leaning back against the dresser. "Panic attack probably. He's at his wits end." The bedroom was dark but for the street light that shone in and Lyn left it that way. He had no intention of going over to read those med bottles right this second. Some inner part of him squirmed at the idea of with holding the meds but he remembered all to well with Andrew just how addictive those little pills could be. Pain never killed anyone and fifteen minutes wasn't torture.

"Why would he be feeling that?" Dee asked then growled deep in his throat. "BERKLEY!" Dee gritted his teeth. "If that son of a bitch is after him again I'll rip his nuts off!!" Dee went to feel for a bottle of pills but stopped. "We have this commissioner who wants nothing more then to get Ryo into his bed. He's been unrelenting in his pursuit of him. It always upsets Ryo."

"Oh for the love of..." Lyn slid the kid pack off his back and sat on the bed lifting Keiry into his arms. "No Dee. It's not your commissioner."

"You seem to have all the answers smart ass! So enlighten me! I'm just a dumb blind cripple after all!" Dee's defenses came up almost instantly. He hated this vulnerability more than anything.

Lyn pressed his face in Keiry's hair a moment, praying for patience as he set the girl on the bed to clamor around at her leisure. "Dee you have the answer. You just don't like it, which is why you're avoiding it."

"Oh great! He talks in riddles. Hanging around kids too much are we? Do you do mine too? Not that I could see it." Dee replied sarcastically, shifting in the bed. Dee tried to figure out what the kid was up to, not wanting to bump into her.

Keiry was crawling towards him with the tenacity of a little soldier but the plush comforter and soft mattress were giving her a challenge. "It's you Dee." Lyn said softly, looking down at his hands. It wasn't a nice thing to say. He didn't like playing hardball in the court room and especially not with some one who was in the midst of what was most likely the biggest crisis of his life, nor would Lyn see Ryo battered down by the weight of Dee's dependency and self pity.

"Me?" Dee was shocked by the statement. "I'm sorry if I can't see but I didn't ask for that broad to try and bash my frigging brains in with a baseball bat. I didn't ask her to break my arms, smash my knee caps and what ever else she frigging did!" Dee shivered over the memories, some of which he wasn't ready to disclose to anyone.

"The worse this is, she ruined my damn bat signed by Yogi Beara! The bitch!" Dee slumped his shoulders forward. Humor was all he had to cover up the pain... He couldn't let them see what lay deep down in his soul or the pain and humiliation that tore at his soul.

All Lyn could do was blink at Dee for a moment. Alright so this one needed a little more guidance then most. Lyn scooted closer to Dee, sitting next to him. "That is not what I meant. I mean the way you yell at him every time you get frustrated. Fits of rage solve nothing. Incoming." He said without pause for breath as Keiry toddled right for Dee, arms held out.

"Hey it's not like he doesn't scream at me as well. I'm sorry if we don't have an Ozzie and Harriet relationship but shit, we haven't even gotten that off the ground." Dee sighed. "I wait for 2 frigging years to hear him tell me that he loves me and he finally does. Only problem is I almost had to die to hear it. If it weren't for that I seriously doubt that he would have told me yet. I'd still be waiting. My life would still be in limbo while he frets over the ramifications of admitting that he loves another man."

The mischievous red-head pulled herself onto Dee's lap standing on his thighs to press one hand over his throat, resting the other feather light on his lips. Lyn made no effort to retrieve her as he spoke, his voice gentle. "I don't think that you would still be waiting... he... he's the one who found you, you know. Thank god I was spared that anyway. He hates to see you hurt and he wants to help but what I said at the hospital today that wasn't just mudslinging. Every time I've been in the room you've treated him like dirt."

"You know nothing about Ryo and I and if the truth be known, Ryo isn't a saint! He's got one hell of a temper and trust me if I was treating him that badly he could kick my ass easily. Even when I was healthy he could accomplish that no problem! He's highly skilled in martial arts whereas I'm a street fighter." Dee grabbed the girl's arms and pulled them away. "I-I don't like being t-touched... N-Not when I can't see." Dee shivered. The light touch was too familiar... A familiarity that he'd sooner forget.

The Irishman's eyes narrowed further as his child was manipulated like a doll and swept her out of Dee's arms, into his own. "She isn't even two. It's not like she can hurt you. She's just trying to listen to you." With that Lyn stood. "Right now I think I know more about Ryo then you do." Pivoting on a heel he strode out of the darkened bedroom shaking his head.

Dee sat there feeling worse then he had walked in. "What the hell am I doing?" He ran his hand through his ebony hair and went to get up. "Okay picture it in your mind Latener. You know this damn apartment's layout better then you think."

Inch by painful inch, Dee made his way out of the bedroom and into the short hallway before stopping to feel for landmarks. Grinning, he soon found himself at the doorway to the kitchen and stepped in, tapping his cane on the doorframe to get its occupant's attention.

Ryo looked up and gave off a small smile at the sight of Dee standing there. "DEE! You did it!" Ryo stood up. Too quickly in fact and with eyes wide, he looked at Lyn and Andrew.

"Take her! Quickly!" He held the child out, feeling the room spinning and his vision starting to fade to black.

Lyn snagged the child under one arm, the other snaking around Ryo's waist. Now he had two kids in one arm and Ryo's dead weight on the other. "Andrew Dee, someone grab the kids." Lyn said through gritted teeth. Annie wailing loudly at having been startled awake in such an abrupt manner.

"W-What's going on?" Dee walked farther into the kitchen, stumbling slightly over a chair out of its usual place. "Dammit tell me what's happening!" He felt the frustration hitting him at not being able to see yet knowing that something was wrong with Ryo. "Ryo...? Talk to me Ryo! What's happened!"

W ildefyre: Okay once again, if anyone is out of character then please just accept it and enjoy the story anyway. I've had several people email me telling me that they hadn't realized that this story was the sequel to "The Big Decision" and that the pen name was a combination of my pen name and Irish's. Please do me a favor and if you know someone who was following my story, let them know about this. Domo Arigato Gozaimasu.

This is proving to be not only an emotional story to write but a lengthy one as well. Get ready guys! Irish and I may have the mother of all FAKE stories here! *Grins widely* We're averaging about a Chapter and a half with each session. This is all being written through AIM too. That's why it's taking awhile to get the chapters out. *Lots of editing involved.*

Irish: Yup, don't worry folks it only gets more sordid from here! I'm working on a website that will have this story in addition to my own original work and what not, I'll have the link to that in a future chapter. Check out Wildefyre's site if you haven't already, she's got some pretty neat stuff up.