Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Yesterday's Feelings ❯ Chapter 4 Something lost, something found ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4- Something lost, something found

 

Thanks to all of my reviewers you guys are great, especially those that gifted me with multiple reviews. The endnotes have a few important points so please read them and without further babbling chapter 4!!!

 

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When Dee woke up the next morning he found he was alone but it didn't taken him long to figure out where Ryo was. Dee could smell the strong scent of coffee coming from the kitchen and decided he should probably have a cup. After a quick glance at the alarm clock he saw that it was getting close to 11. He managed to drag himself into the kitchen and found Ryo already having a cup and reading the paper.

 

“Morning Ryo,” Dee greeted still sounding sleepy as he grabbed a cup from the cupboard.

 

“Ohayo, Dee.” Ryo put down his paper and gave the man a bright smile.

 

“Huh?” Dee looked at Ryo quizzically and he poured his coffee and grabbed some cream and sugar. Ryo was using weird words again and this time really wanted to know what was going on.

 

“Oh sorry! It means good morning in Japanese. I think I have been doing that a lot to you right?” Dee nodded and sat down at the table. “It is a really bad habit of mine. When I was little my mother taught me Japanese and she would always use a Japanese word here or there for little things. I guess I just picked it up from her.”

 

“I am guessing I learned most of your little quirk words then?” Dee asked around his mug.

 

“Yes and actually I was just starting to teach you some real Japanese before this happened. You even managed to learn all of the body parts,” Ryo replied.

 

“Maybe you should give me a refresher course so I can understand you.” Ryo almost spit out the sip of coffee he had taken when he heard that.

 

Ryo gave a slight cough and turned red, “Umm maybe later. Why don't you have a bagel if you're stomach is feeling better?” Ryo thought it would be best to divert the topic because Dee didn't learn the body parts in an innocent fashion at all. When Dee kept forgetting toes Ryo thought he would be creative and taught the darker haired man the parts in a very seductive manner.

 

“Right then… What are we doing today?”

 

“I thought we could go see Mother Lane and go for a walk in the park.” Before Dee even had a chance to ask who Mother Lane was Ryo continued on with his explanation. “Mother Maria Lane is the nun that raised you, she is like a mother to you.”

 

“What happened to my parents if I was raised by this women?” Dee asked Ryo cautiously hoping for an answer that didn't involve the death of his parents.

 

“I am not sure if I should be the one telling you this but some how I doubt you would take no for an answer. We are not actually sure who are your parents are, you were found abandoned as a baby and raised in an orphanage.” Ryo hated telling his partner such important things in such a blunt manner. Dee had never liked to openly talk about his past with Ryo and that was okay because he knew his lover had a lot of painful memories. Ryo knew the basics of Dee's childhood and of the betrayal of Jess but the rest of Dee's past was like a murky pond, the surface being visible but never the bottom.

 

Dee gripped his mug just a bit tighter not sure how important this information was to him when he had his memory. “Did it ever bother me that I didn't know who my parents were?”

 

“Not that I could tell but I guess everyone has a few things they would rather not share. Usually when we did talk about it you would just tell me you were lucky enough to grow up with someone like mother to take care of you.” But that had always made Ryo wonder if that was enough for Dee because there were a lot of things that Dee pretended didn't bother him but deeply did.

 

“I just don't understand how that wouldn't bother me at all! Hell I don't remember one thing but I know this bothers me.” Dee was getting rather pissed off at the whole conversation. How could Ryo claim to know him if he didn't even know why not having parents didn't bother him. Wasn't Ryo supposed to be his husband and weren't spouses supposed to know each other better above everyone else?

 

Ryo knew that look on his partner's face and Dee was getting very angry. “Dee I really don't know what to say,” Ryo started. “It never seemed like a big deal to you and I never pressed the issue.”

 

“How ever you want to say it doesn't matter you just don't know, do you? And what really bothers me is you don't even seem to care.” Dee abruptly got up and headed out of the kitchen. “I can't deal with this right now. I am going to have a shower,” Dee shot out as he left.

 

“Fuck,” Ryo muttered and ran a hand through his hair roughly. It was no secret that Ryo and Dee fought sometimes over really stupid things but that last thing he wanted to do was piss his lover off when he was like this. Ryo decided to give Dee some time to cool off and let the man have his shower.

 

Dee was probably just venting some of the frustration he had been feeling about the situation. But Ryo also couldn't have Dee having doubts about their relationship. Dee needed to be able to trust him enough to come to him with his concerns or with help dealing with memories that were confusing or unpleasant.

 

`I better try and talk to him when he comes out of the shower. I can't have him feeling like he can't come to me when he needs to.'

 

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15 minutes later Ryo was starting to wonder what Dee was up to as he still hadn't heard the shower turn on.

 

The sandy haired man thought it would be best to go check on Dee and make sure the poor man hadn't gone and done something stupid. When Ryo entered the bedroom, out of habit, he expected to see Dee throwing things around and grumbling to himself, which he usually did when pissed off.

 

Instead he found Dee sitting on the edge of the bed hunched over clenching his hands together. Dee looked worn out and all of the fight he had before seemed to have left. Ryo sat down beside Dee heavily, trying to alert the other man of his presence but Dee was too focused on his thoughts to even notice Ryo.

 

“Hey,” Ryo said quietly causing Dee to jerk his head up in Ryo's direction with the sudden surprise of the other man's presence.

 

“Hi,” Dee said back faintly, hunching back into the position he was in before Ryo startled him. Dee didn't even know where to start with Ryo. He knew he was wrong for flipping out over something that probably required more tact on his part. Ryo was just trying to explain something very unpleasant in the best way he could; it wasn't like he was actively out to upset Dee.

 

“I'm really sorry Ryo. I had no right to act that like that and if you hadn't told me I would have pushed for an answer anyway,” Dee paused looking for the right words to continue. “ I guess I wasn't really angry at you but more at myself.”

 

“Why?” Ryo inquired gently putting a hand on Dee's knee and giving it a squeeze.

 

Dee shrugged and started at the wall intently refusing to look directly a Ryo.

 

“This is just so frustrating; I know I have the answers somewhere in here,” Dee gestured to himself as he kept talking.

 

“I just can't get to them. I want you to be able to tell me everything- I want you to be able to know everything. I realize that you can't and I get that you care deeply, despite what I said before. But it's hard to accept that if you don't know and I don't know then who does? And if I never get any or all my memories back, have I lost a piece of myself?

 

What's worse is that no one will even notice that piece missing. I'm not a whole person and it bothers me, I don't like feeling like this but I don't remember feeling any other way,” Dee finished with a sigh and looked so defeated it tore at Ryo's heart.

 

“Dee- look at me please,” Ryo said firmly. Dee focused on the blond but still looked rather ashamed. “ I may not understand exactly what you're feeling but that doesn't mean I won't try to understand. I know you're going to feel angry and frustrated and times and a thousand other emotions. But if you can't tell why you're feeling that way or what is bothering how can I do anything to help. If you need a minute to think or compose yourself I can give it to you, but please don't storm off angry. I suppose the point I am trying to make here is we need to face these things head on as a team and start to rebuild your trust in us.”

 

“I think I get what you're saying,” Dee said hesitantly. “If I can't even tell you how I am feeling how can I come to you when I out sorts and really need you, right?”

 

For someone who had lost all of his memories Dee was still perceptive as ever. It never ceased to amaze Ryo how bright his lover could be when he actually put some effort in.

 

Ryo gave Dee another soft look and replied kindly. “You got it babe. Nothing comes instantaneous and needs work, but I think we're up for the challenge. Why don't you go grab your shower so we won't be late meeting Mother Lane?”

 

“I do kind of smell don't I,” Dee said sniffing himself.

 

Ryo snorted and the younger man's antics. Leave it to Dee to turn a serious conversation into an amusing situation. Not that Ryo was complaining; it was nice to have the heavy atmosphere lighten up.

 

“My husband the comedian, good lord. At least you haven't forgotten your witty sense of humor. Now get going before I have to drag you in there myself,” Ryo said having a hard time not laughing.

 

“Whatever you say.” Ryo and Dee both got up and started heading out when Ryo noticed Dee had stopped. Ryo turned around to see what the other man was doing when Dee spoke up.

 

“Hey Ryo,”

 

“Yeah?” Ryo was thrown for a loop when Dee came up to him and gave him a tight hug. Ryo wrapped his arms around Dee's back, enjoying the closeness he had been missing from their relationship.

 

“Thanks,” Dee said softly into his ear before letting go and heading off to shower. It amazed Ryo how Dee could still take his breath away even though they had been together for 2 years. Ryo sighed feeling more relaxed then he had in days and headed out of the bedroom.

 

-Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul

 

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“Come on Dee we're here,” Ryo told the anxious man sitting beside him.

 

“Well you have a good visit Ryo; I think I will stay here,” Dee replied quickly

 

“Get out of the car,” Ryo countered firmly unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door.

 

“And what if I don't want to,” Dee tried again not moving and inch from his seat much to Ryo's displeasure.

 

“I can't make you do anything thing but I think it is important that you meet her. Please Koi? Humor me for today; I know we had a rather bad morning but things can only look up from here.” Ryo had no clue what had gotten into his partner. He was fine after his shower until they had left for the church half and hour ago.

 

“Okay?” Ryo tried tentively when Dee still had responded to his question.

 

“Alright,” his lover said, still sounding extremely tense. “I'm sorry Ryo. I really don't know why I am acting like such an ass today. I mean what is the worst this woman could do to me anyways? Hug me to death, seriously I need to get a grip.”

 

“It's probably just the stress of having to go into an unfamiliar place and meeting new people at the same time. Just relax and you'll do fine,” Ryo said encouragingly as they started up towards the church.

 

Mother Lane was waiting for them at the bottom of the steps leading up to the large double doors of the church, in her never changing black and white penguin suit as Dee was known to comment on every chance he was given. Mother Lane held her greetings until the two men made it up to the stairs then attacked Dee.

 

“Oh Dee you had me so worried!” She cried as she gathered Dee is a tight motherly hug. She then proceed to grab his ear and pull him towards the door. “Don't you ever worry your mother like that again, you hear me Dee Gabriel McLean.”

 

Dee was too stunned to struggle as he was dragged towards the door with Ryo trailing behind them.

 

“Ryo help me!” Dee squeaked out. Ryo just laughed; some things between that pair just never changed no matter the circumstances.

 

After sufficiently scolding Dee the trio sat down for an early afternoon tea and cookies. Mother left the room again for a moment to retrieve the photo album Ryo had seen many times before.

 

“Now, Ryo dear here is that old photo album that you wanted Dee to have a look through.” Mother Lane passed Ryo a worn photo album that was very familiar to him.

 

“Yes, I thought it might help jog some of his memories. Dr. Linden said it might help if Dee visited familiar places and handled things that help significant emotional value. I am not sure if I buy into that but it is worth a try,” Ryo said, flipping to the first page.

 

The first pictured was of Dee and Aaron(1) when they were both much younger. They were both covered in dirt and had their arms around each other's shoulders, grinning at the camera.

 

“Do you have any idea who this boy is?” Mother said kindly, while pointed to Aaron.

 

“Aaron,” Dee replied plainly. Ryo and Mother Lane both looked a little shocked at Dee's answer. Neither had expected the dark haired man to remember something from the first picture he was shown.

 

“What do you remember about him Dee?” Ryo asked hesitantly hoping his partner hadn't remember the young man's death. Dee didn't look very disturbed so maybe it was a happier memory.

 

Dee gave Ryo and Mother Lane and strange look. “I don't remember anything about him.”

 

“What do you mean? You just told us his name, you must remember something,” Ryo said extremely perplexed with Dee's answer.

 

“No, I just read the caption at the bottom of the photo,” Dee pointed to the bottom of the photo. “See here it says Dee and Aaron age eight.”

 

“Oh dear,” Mother Lane said with a touch of exasperation. “Why don't we try and concentrate more on the people in the photos than on the captions at the bottom, alright?”

 

Dee looked over to Ryo when he heard the nun's tone, “She is scolding me isn't she?”

 

Before Ryo could even mount a reply Mother Lane was all over her favorite son again. “Of course I am, it's my job,” the old nun said firmly. “Now listen to your mother and concentrate on what your suppose to be doing.”

 

“Yes mother,” Dee said teasingly before looking at the next photo. They spent another hour at least looking through the many glimpses of Dee's past, none seemingly familiar to Dee's frustration. When they had gone through the whole album Ryo noticed there were some photos tucked at the back that he had never seen before.

 

“Mother, I don't remember ever seeing this stack before,” Ryo said glancing at Mother Lane. “When did you find these?”

 

“Oh I think Dee dropped them off at least half a year ago after he had done some cleaning. I haven't had any time to go through them and organize them. But we can go through those as well,” Mother Lane said while straightening the small stack of photos. Many of the photos were of Dee as a young man; some from collage, some from the police academy and a few from various outings.

 

Dee wasn't paying very much attention until Mother Lane flipped to a photo of Dee and another young man who was much taller than Dee. The photo had captured the relaxed smiles of both of the men who were tightly wrapped in each other's arms with the taller man's head titled towards Dee. The other man was very handsome to say the least. He had short auburn hair, with very strong features containing two intense cerulean eyes.

 

Dee looked quiet started when the photo came out, making Ryo wonder who that man was. A flash of recognition passed over Dee's for just a moment before it disappeared again as fast as it came.

 

“Dee,” Ryo asked hesitantly, grasping the other man's hand. “Do you know who that man is?”

 

“N-no I don't. If you don't mind I don't think I want to do this any more. Can we please do something else Ryo?” Dee practically begged by the time he finished speaking. Ryo rubbed small circles of the top of Dee's hand trying to reassure him.

 

“Of course, whatever you want.” Ryo looked over to Mother Lane trying to convey that he needed to speak with her privately. As usually she was very perceptive and picked up on Ryo's slight cues and nodded back to him.

 

“Dee, why don't you go play with the children outside for awhile? The weather is unusually nice for early May and they haven't seen you for a few weeks. Just go out the door and turn left then go out the door at the end of the hall.”

 

“Sure,” Dee replied happy to get out of looking at any more pictures full of people he didn't remember. At least kids wouldn't ask too many questions and some fresh air would be nice. The room was begging to become too confining for Dee's tastes.

 

“Now you go and have a good time,” Mother Lane instructed. “I have already told them about your little accident so they better be on their best behavior.”

 

“Best behavior?” Dee questioned gulping a little as he got up and headed towards the door. “Should I be worried?”

 

“Oh no dear. Now shoo so Randy and I can finish our tea,” Mother Lane further pushed as Dee finally exited the room and headed off towards the backyard of the church.

 

Mother Lane turned back to Randy. “Was there something you wanted to ask me?”

 

“Who was that man in the last photo you showed Dee? I don't think I have ever seen him before.” Ryo gave her a slight frown, gripping his teacup.

 

“That is Michele; hasn't Dee told you about him before?”

 

“No, he hasn't,” Ryo responded rather perplexed.

 

Mother Lane serene faced quickly changed to one of concern with Ryo's admission. “Oh my…” She trailed off.

 

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“Hahaha you're it you old fart, try and catch me,” one of the boys, Dee had learned was named Thomas, yelled as he weaved through the other kids at an incredible speed. They had been playing tag for about twenty minutes and Dee was already starting to feel worn out.

 

“These kids are like mini energizer bunnies,” Dee panted to himself still trying to pass the tag onto the first available kid. Unfortunately Dee was dealing with 15 over active 4-10 year old boys, whose main goal in life was to run their guardian into the ground, if at all possible. After at least another 10 minutes of still not catching anyone Dee gave up and plopped himself down on the ground.

 

“I give guys,” Dee groaned and he flopped onto the concrete totally spent.

 

“Oh come on Dee, get up we haven't even really started yet,” another one of the boys yelled.

 

“Yeah,” another shot over Dee's way. “We still want to play some basketball.” They all came over and started to pull and tug on various limbs trying to get the older man up right.

 

“I think I'll just stay right where I am and watch the clouds.” Dee sighed and closed his eyes hoping the little devils would just leave him alone. He couldn't move another inch let alone start playing another high activity game.

 

“You're just saying that cause you can't move,” Thomas countered bouncing a basketball entirely too close to Dee's face.

 

“True, but unless you can get me upright I don't think I will be moving anytime soon.”

 

“Fine, whatever maybe the girls will take you in and do your hair,” Thomas snickered and then yelled at the others boys to start picking teams for the game.

 

Dee was actually enjoying the heat coming from the pavement and was content not to move for sometime. He closed his eyes and was just starting to feel pleasantly warm from the sun when a shadow blocked out his light. Dee opened his eyes and came face to face with a small girl no older than 6. When the girl didn't say anything for a few moments Dee started to become nervous.

 

“Ummmm hi there,” Dee said uneasily as the girl continued to stare. When the girl still didn't respond Dee tried again. “My name is Dee, what's yours?”

 

“Clara, but you should already know that. You play with me all the time, but I am willing to forgive you since Mother said you hit your head and forgot who we were,” the little girl replied as her chocolate bangs lightly brushed Dee's face.

 

“Well Clara I am very sorry,” Dee said kindly sitting up so he could be eye level with the girl. “Would you like to watch the clouds with me and tell me about yourself again?”

 

“Kay,” Clara chirped and motion for Dee to go over the grass, where it would defiantly be a lot for comfortable for them both.

 

“So,” Dee started once they were settled in the grass. “How old are you Clara?” Clara held up all of the fingers on one of her hands and another half of a finger on the other.

 

“I'm guessing your five and half then?”

 

“Yup and I know how old you are too!” The little girl giggled pleasantly.

 

“Oh and how old do you think I am?” Dee asked her chucking softly.

 

“You're really really old!” She screeched as Dee began to tickle her sides. Clara tried to roll away from Dee's assault, but he just rolled with her. Both settled down again when Clara finally called uncle and gave up trying to get away from the `old man'.

 

“What do you think that cloud looks like?” Dee asked point upwards, when he had finally caught he breath.

 

Clara face scrunched up with some thought and finally relayed her answer. “I think it looks like a big dinosaur.”

 

“How bout a dragon,” Dee replied. “Can you see the wings off to the side?”

 

“Nope,” Clara said firmly. “It is defiantly a dinosaur.”

 

They continued on like that for some time, just laughing and trying to make out funny shapes out of the clouds. That was how Ryo and Mother found them later, pointing at the sky and laughing with each other.

 

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“What do you mean oh my? Has Dee been keeping a something important from me?” Ryo was visibly upset over the nun's last comment.

 

“If he hasn't told you then yes he has. I am just slightly surprised Dee hasn't spoken to you about Michele yet. Actually now that I say it I am not that surprised in all honesty, this would be something Dee would try and ignore now that he has you.” The nun leaned over and grasped Ryo's free hand tightly.

 

“Mother you are confusing me. What exactly are you talking about?” Ryo asked softly already dreading her answer.

 

“This should be coming from Dee, but he is in no condition to tell you right now,” Mother Land sighed. “Have you ever wondered why Dee is usually so in control in your relationship or any other for that matter?”

 

“Sometimes,” Ryo replied hesitantly, wondering where this was leading. “But I always thought it was because of how Dee grew up and because I had no experience in that type of relationship. As well we have settled more into an equal relationship so I haven't given much thought these days.”

 

“Partly it was the environment he was raised in but I blame almost all of it on Michele.” Mother Lane looked down into her teacup trying to gather her strength, releasing Ryo's hand in the process.

 

“I am not sure I am following you,” Ryo said carefully.

 

“Michele was Dee's first boyfriend, love at first sight was what they would always tell me. Dee had just graduated collage and was entering the academy when they met. Michele was…” Mother Lane paused looking at Ryo. “He was charming to say the least. He had just finished graduate school in economics, I believe, and was starting a rather high paying job at one of the banks. After Dee finished training they moved in together and even exchange rings to show their commitment to each other. To tell you the truth Randy, I was surprised that Dee had settled down with someone when he was still so young. But they were so happy together, and as a mother that is all I wanted; to see my son happy.”

 

“What happened?” Ryo asked as frown touched his lips. It bothered him that Dee had never mentioned something this serious to him before. Dee had been deeply committed to this man and had never told Ryo anything about him.

 

“After Dee's probation (2) was up he was dead set on becoming a detective; just like Jess. Because of his personality Dee was passed up for 2 promotions, which I think just drove him harder to succeed. He began spending more hours at work and less and less at home with Michele. Although Michele was usually a very easing going person I think all the time Dee spend away from him started to make him deeply jealous. Make no mistake although Michele enjoyed doting on Dee and taking care of him, he was the leader in their relationship and didn't take kindly to being ignored. Dee finally got his promotion but at what cost I am still not completely sure of,” Mother Lane paused, catching her breath before continuing.

 

Ryo wasn't sure he liked where this story was heading. It made him sick to think about what could have happened to his lover with the break down of his previous relationship.

 

“You don't think Michele abused Dee?” Ryo was dreading the answer to his question, hoping to hell she would flat out say no.

 

“I don't actually know, but I have my suspicions. I do know they both came to blows towards the end but Dee never confided in me there was anything else besides from that. On the other hand what Michele did to Dee was far worse than any physical violence he could have dealt,” Mother Lane trailed off with her voicing cracking slightly.

 

“Which was?” Ryo ran a shaky hand through his hair trying to ignore the tight knots that had developed in his gut.

 

“With Dee being gone so much Michele started to become bored, he began working longer hours and frequented the bars more and more often. Dee came to me on several occasions looking for a way to stop Michele from doing this but to keep working towards his promotion. I told him to consider lessening his hours and try to be more understanding of Michele's feelings. You have to keep the foundation strong of a relationship if you wanted it to last and at the time my feelings were Dee was neglecting it. And for once Dee listened and really tried. But by then it was too late and Michele was finding others that would take care of his needs. I am not exactly sure how Dee found out Michele was sleeping around but the fight after was catastrophic. As I said they both knocked each other around badly and a week later Dee moved out. After that Dee never mentioned Michele again and I never brought it up.” Mother Lane finished her cup of tea slowly after she had finished she story waiting for Ryo's response. She knew it was a lot for the young man to take in.

 

“I-I don't even know what to think about all of this,” Ryo said softly, staring out the far window. “I understand why he wouldn't tell me but I don't know how I am going to deal with him when he remembers this if I even can't.”

 

“Love him,” Mother Lane firmly replied. “Just be there for him, tell him you love him. That is what he lost with Michele and what he will need from you.”

 

“Will it be enough?” Ryo sounded uncertain and couldn't look Mother Lane in the eyes. He couldn't even imagine what Dee had gone through. It seemed to Ryo that his lover's problems just kept building and building with no relief in sight.

 

Mother Lane grasped Ryo's chin and made him look her in the eye. “It was the first time.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Dee was a changed man after Michele left. He kept all of his relationships from then on casual; never investing too much time or feeling into any one given person. Every time he did come to visit with me he was with someone else. I only ever met a few of his partners, but the ones I did meet were always smaller than he was no matter the gender. I worried for him a great deal, nevertheless I could see he was so very afraid of getting hurt again. I was surprised when he brought you to visit for the first time. You were someone that could be his equal and I could already tell he was falling in love with, finally lowering his walls,” Mother Lane finished.

 

“I heard Dee was a player from some on the guys from work, but I never would have guessed this was the reason,” Ryo replied sadly, getting up and kneeing in front of Mother Lane. He grasped her hand tightly and continued. “I'll do my best to keep him as happy as he was before all of this. I promise.”

 

Mother Lane smiled down softly at Ryo. She knew his promises were not made vainly and Randy would do his best. “That is all I can ask of you. Thank you my dear.” Ryo stood up and slowly helped Mother Lane to stand as well, giving her a warm hug.

 

“Come on we better see what kind of trouble Dee has gotten into with the kids,” Ryo told her kindly. They headed out the way Dee had gone and found the younger man lying in the grass with Clara. They both could hear the soft giggles from Clara drifting towards them, warming both their hearts. Mother Lane and Ryo headed towards the grass area to see what the two were actually doing.

 

Ryo hear Dee talking as they got closer to the pair. “That cannot be a donkey Clara it had to be a horse, look at the ears,” Dee said while point up at some cloud that just looked like a misshaped blob from Ryo's angle.

 

“Hey guys what are you up to?” Ryo questioned, sitting down next to Dee.

 

Dee turned his head towards Ryo's voice. “Trying to figure out if that cloud is a donkey or a horse,” Dee said still pointing that the weird looking cloud.

 

“Come on Weeyo you have to tell Dee that is looks like a donkey. For me pleeeaaasseee?” The girl was just too cute to resist when she begged like that and made the pouty face.

 

Ryo seemed to be taking a hard look at the cloud before answering. “Defiantly a donkey, gomen Dee.”

 

“I just can't win today can I? First with the dinosaur then with the donkey, there is no hope.” Ryo just laughed the comment. No one could ever win when it came to Clara she was just too cute to resist.

 

“Against her you haven't got a chance.” Ryo stood up and offered a hand each to Dee and Clara. “ But it is getting late and we have one more stop so we better get going.” Ryo smiled when Clara latched onto Dee's leg and began begging for them not to go.

 

“Come on dear,” Mother Lane said gently while trying to pry her from Dee's legs. “They will be back on Sunday.” Mother Lane gave them both a look that said there was no room for argument.

 

“Right, see you both on Sunday,” Ryo replied shakily. When it came to her children Mother Lane was extremely protective and at times like these it was best to just agree with her if you wanted to retain all of your limbs. Dee and Ryo gave Clara one last hug and exchanged goodbyes with Mother Lane before heading for the car.

 

There was a long silence between the men before Dee spoke up, about half way to central park.

 

“You know you were right about that visit, it really wasn't that bad. And I had a great time with Clara.”

 

“She really is a joy, that is one of the main reasons I love going to visit Mother Lane with you.” Ryo couldn't understand how the poor girl hadn't been adopted yet. With her personality and cherub face he was hard pressed to think of any parent's who would want her, but those thoughts were for another time.

 

They had just pulled into one of the many parking lots of central park and all Ryo had to worry about was finding a decent spot and not running someone over. He absolutely hated city driving and usually left it all up to Dee.

 

“Come on Dee let me give you the grand tour of some of central park. I couldn't imagine doing the whole thing in a few hours. Although we have found a few places we really enjoy. I thought I would take you there today.” Ryo pulled the darker hair man along the path towards a pond they usually fed the ducks at in the summer.

 

“Oh so is this more of than familiar places and people junk?” Dee teased, allowing himself to be led.

 

When they finally got to the pond, Dee looked at it skeptically noticing it was very empty and still. “So what exactly am I suppose to looking at here, all I see is an empty pond.”

 

“By next month it will be full of ducks. We come and fed them on the weekends (Yah yah I know your not suppose to do that but oh well my story my rules bwhahaha) and there is even this gimpy duck that you feel sorry for and give extra bread,” Ryo prodded back. Dee just grimed back, looking rather amused at the whole situation.

 

“Oh stop laughing it is true, you even named the damn thing,” Ryo tried again hoping Dee might actually take the experience more seriously. Considering he wasn't doing much better he wasn't one to talk.

 

“Yah and what did I name it Mr. Quakers?” Dee started laughing to himself, this was just too funny. What kind of guy names some wild duck; when he had still had his memories he must have been one insane guy.

 

Ryo snorted at the comment. “That is far more tact than you posses lover. Actually you named him Peg Leg the duck. I honestly feel sorry for the poor thing, missing a foot and just having a stump for a leg. Why don't we go sit down and stop talking about the poor duck for today.” Ryo placed a had on the small of Dee's back and led him towards the familiar bench that held a lot of emotion for them both.

 

Ryo sat down with a heavy sigh glad to be off of his feet for a few minutes. Dee was just about to sit down when he grabbed the side of bench and got a glassy look in his eyes. Ryo noticed Dee's breathing had sped up and he looked pale. Before Ryo could even ask if the younger man was okay Dee spoke up.

 

“Something really important happened here, right?” Dee asked breathily.

 

“Yes, something did. Do you remember what it was?” Ryo stood up again and helped Dee sit down, who looked ready collapse. Ryo knew exactly what Dee was starting to remember and only hoped he could coax the full memory out.

 

“It wasn't warm like this, it was cold and snowing. I was sitting here waiting, for you I think…” Dee trailed off.

 

“Go on,” Ryo urged, pulling Dee closer to him with an arm around his shoulders.

 

“I-I don't know the rest.” Dee began to twist the second ring on his finger without realizing it, but Ryo did.

 

“Yes you do.” Ryo said, trying to encourage Dee. “Look down, why are you twisting your ring like that?”

 

Dee looked down surprised at his actions and a soft look suddenly crossed Dee's face.

 

“You're right I do know. I was waiting for you… it was just before Christmas. You told me to meet you at our bench; you said you wanted to give me an earlier present. I remember feeling so warm, despite how cold it was, when I saw you coming. You told me you had to ask me something very important, got down on one knee and asked me to marry you. I am glad I was sitting down I think I almost passed out, I was feeling dizzy and elated at the same time. I think I jumped up and hugged you so tight you couldn't breath before saying yes.” Ryo could see the emotions of the memory were overwhelming Dee as his eyes began to look misty.

 

“Do you remember anything else?” Ryo asked softly trying not to disturb the fragile moment.

 

“You put the ring on my finger and it felt good, it felt so right. God I was so happy, happy that you wanted to be with me forever because that is all I wanted…want.”

 

“Well you've got me forever handsome,” Ryo said tenderly running a smooth hand down his lover's cheek. Dee's still looked like he was off in another world and after a few moments turned slightly red.

 

“Kiss me,” Dee asked quietly.

 

“What!” Saying Ryo was startled with that comment was an under statement. He hadn't been expecting anything like that for a very long time.

 

“Kiss me,” Dee repeated. “I remember you kissed me after I said yes. I remember it but I want feel it again.” Dee looked deeply into Ryo's eyes hoping the other man understood why he was asking. Dee wasn't even sure if he was ready for this but it was something he desperately wanted to experience, ready or not.

 

“Are you sure you want this? I don't want to force anything onto you right now,” Ryo said hesitantly.

 

“I do, please Ryo don't make me ask again,” Dee pleaded to the older man.

 

Ryo answered Dee not in words but with actions. Ryo cupped Dee's face lightly and turn his head so their foreheads were touching. Ryo tried to remember exactly how he had kissed Dee that night. Ryo rubbed his nose against Dee's softly before lowering his head and pressing a kiss to the other man's lips. Ryo ran his tongue along Dee's bottom lip gently and began to deepen the kiss when his lover's lips slowly parted. The older man tried to convey all of the emotions he felt when Dee said yes to his proposal in that one kiss.

 

After what seemed like a blissful eternity to Dee, Ryo broke away and gathered him in his arms, leaving Dee flushed and startled at the intense feeling in the kiss. Dee sighed at the warm feeling Ryo had created within him and laid his head on the sandy haired man's shoulder, relaxing into the embrace.

 

“Was that as good as the one you remembered?” Ryo murmured.

 

“Better,” Dee breathed, sounding extremely content. Ryo shifted their position so they were lying against the bench, cuddling his lover close hoping they had taken a step in the right direction. The aura around the men was one of peace as the sun slowly began to slip behind the horizon, giving way to another night.

 

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Notes:

1. If anyone doesn't know who Aaron is you can find a complete bio of Dee's younger days at http :// dee .baptism -of-blood .net /information .php ?bio (just remember to remove the spaces to get to the website. And if you have any problems you can e-mail and I will just send you the site)

 

2. Dee wasn't on probation for doing anything bad, if that was what most people thought. When you become an officer in the states you have to go through a mandatory probation period of 6 months to 3 three before you can be considered for a promotion, such as to detective.

 

I am sorry this took so long!!! I just finished my 2 weeks worth of finals on Thursday then had to pack up to come home on Saturday. Boy was I beat!! Also there will not be another update for a couple of weeks because I am going on vacation this week! I doubt there will be a lot of computer access around but I will try and start the chapter. When I settle into a normal route updates with become regular again I promise. This chapter also took me a bit longer because I was trying to convey certain emotions they were giving me a hard time describing in a way that felt natural. Did I do a good job? Either way I would love to hear some feedback from you guys about this chapter! Thanks to everyone that has supported me by reviewing. Until next time…