Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Yesterday's Feelings ❯ Chapter 6 Knock out ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Howdy! Finally, another chapter all done! Thing just seem to continue to be hectic. I got into business, so there is a lot more course work than I'm used to! But I love it nonetheless. This chapter was also greatly delayed because I actually got inspired to begin one of the heavier and more time consuming chapters of this story where basically the cat finally comes out of the bag!

Thank you again to everyone that reviewed and gave me a few pokes here and there. Especially Irishlefay who gave me a few things to work on! I know I kinda stretched the whole amnesia thing, but hey, I claim author license. A few things are coming that might clear a bit of the stretches out but that is for another chapter! Thanks again to Torhu-tan and J-chan for help with this production. NOW go read!

Chapter 6

“Stupid jerk,” Bikky muttered to himself as he tossed a tennis ball against his bed frame. Saying he was pissed was an understatement. He was bloody infuriated! How could Ryo be such a jerk to him over nothing! It wasn't like he hasn't said stuff like that before. He couldn't understand why Ryo had almost taken his head off and then had the nerve to order him around like some slave.

“Go get some Advil, go get some water,” Bikky mimicked sarcastically throwing the ball harder each time he thought about the situation more.

Bikky nearly took out his lamp when he heard a timid knock at his door, disrupting his pattern of curing Ryo then whipping his ball.

Bikky just ignored the noise and went back to throwing. When he heard the knock again, more firmly this time, he just snagged his mp3 player off of his desk and cranked the volume.

After a few minutes he thought Ryo had finally taken the hint and left. That was until his adoptive father snatched the headphones right off of his head.

Bikky whipped his head around painfully and came face to face with a very displeased guardian.

“I don't remember saying you could come in,” Bikky started snidely, turning back towards the far wall, completely ignoring Ryo.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you, and when I knocked you didn't answer,” Ryo replied trying to keep his temper in check.

“And you missed the hint to bugger off how?” Bikky tossed the ball against the bed again making Ryo wince at the harsh bang.

“Come on Bikky, I am trying here, would you just look at me?”

BANG.

“Fine, I'll just talk and you can listen.”

BANG.

“Could you please stop that for a minute?” Ryo asked tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose in aggravation.

BANG.

The last sound of the ball hitting the wood caused Ryo to snap. Faster than Bikky could blink Ryo grabbed his ball and threw it out of his bedroom door with such a force it just keep sailing when it reached the open balcony door.

“Dude… Where did you learn to throw like that?” Bikky asked with wide eyes.

“Varsity softball in college,” Ryo replied a bit shocked. He couldn't believe he just threw Bikky's tennis ball clear out the apartment; he must be more stressed than he thought.

“Gomen Bikky,” Ryo said tiredly, sitting down heavily on the edge of Bikky's bed.

Bikky was rather amazed that for once Ryo acted rather than just confronting him verbally until he finally listened.

“No sweat. I was kinda being a brat, wasn't I?” Bikky sat down beside Ryo, jamming his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, but I was being a jerk too. Even?” Ryo offered.

“Even,” Bikky confirmed. “So, you wanna tell me what's going on?”

“Dee was having a bad time of itjust as you came out,” Ryo tried explaining.

“When isn't he having a bad go of it? I am starting to wonder if he will ever catch a break,” Bikky began digging his toes into the carpet.

“I wonder the same thing too. It just seems like every time he is starting to get a handle on things something new catches him off guard,” Ryo trailed off sighing deeply.

“You worried about him, then?” Bikky questioned softly, getting a better picture of why Ryo was so stressed lately.

Ryo clasped his hands between his knees and looked at the floor before replying. “Hai, I am. Dee is so lost and confused and he needs me so badly right now. And I've never…”

“Never what?” Bikky looked at Ryo, hoping his dad thought he was old enough to share his problems with him and lessen some of his worries.

“I really shouldn't be troubling you with this,” Ryo finished tiredly.

“You can and you should. How the heck can you do anything for Dee if you're burned out too?” When Ryo gave Bikky a skeptical look Bikky knew he just had to push a little harder and Ryo would crack like a dam.

“You can trust me you know. I wouldn't tell anyone, not even Cal.” Bikky scooted closer to his dad allowing Ryo to put an arm around his shoulder.

“Fine, but this is very private, and if I find out you have told anyone or harassed Dee in the slightest about, it's game over, got it?” Ryo said firmly, hopeful Bikky had understood the seriousness of what he was about to tell him.

“Gotcha.” Bikky turned his head slightly and smiled at Ryo.

“By now, you have probably guessed that Dee isn't the most open or emotional person.” Bikky gave Ryo an odd look when Ryo said Dee wasn't very emotional; he had seen Dee angry and sulking and a whole host of other things.

“Okay, from your look I think I might have to rephrase that. What I meant was that Dee isn't very open with emotions that make him seem vulnerable. Can you honestly say you have ever seen Dee acting like this?”

“Can't say that I have. Have you ever seen him like this before?” Bikky asked searching Ryo eyes for an answer.

“Only once. Do you remember when Mother Lane was hurt a few years back?” Ryo started.

“Yeah, that was the same day you caught my teaching the troops the 5 finger discount.”

Ryo smiled softly at the memory. In a lot of way Bikky had grown up so much since then. Though he couldn't exactly say that Bikky still didn't do stupid things, those things were happening less and less.

“He wasn't even this bad then, more withdrawn if anything,” Ryo gave Bikky another squeeze. “I have never exactly been the one taking care of everything in this relationship. In the beginning, Dee took most of the initiative then things evened out. Dee has never needed this much reassurance or encouragement about anything. He has never leaned on me so heavily, and I don't really know how to handle things.”

“It's like his personality has taken a complete 180. No wonder you have no clue what to do with him. Not saying you've done a bad job. From as far as I can tell I think he would rather be with you more than anyone else.”

“He still won't tell me everything he is remembering. He can't deal with it on his own, but he still won't tell and I don't understand why,” Ryo replied, sounding more frustrated.

“Got me, I don't think I ever got what's going on in his head.”

“And neither does he anymore, and that is what worries me. Some of the things he has told me even I wouldn't want to remember. He has been burned so many times I am surprised he even bothered with me when we first met,” Ryo finished quietly.

“Sounds like he has had a pretty raw deal. Why hasn't he ever told me any of this?” Bikky would never admit it but he was a bit hurt that Dee had never told him anything about when he was a kid.

“Like I said, he is a very private person, and knowing him, he probably thinks you wouldn't care all that much. Not to say that you wouldn't,” Ryo corrected hastily.

“Well, I would. I wish he would get it into this thick skull that I actually like him. I just tease him `cause he is easy.”

“I'm not the one you should be telling this,” Ryo replied, feeling good that Bikky could admit he liked Dee. For a long time Ryo thought he and Dee couldn't make a go of it because it seemed Bikky was dead set about the younger man being a part of their family. When Ryo had talked to him about it, Bikky surprised him when he said Ryo could do whatever he wanted as long as the “perv” treated him right.

“I know. I just wish I knew more about him. Like what do you mean when you say things were hard for him?”

“This does not leave this room, alright?” Ryo stopped for just a moment waiting for Bikky to give him some sort of confirmation, which came in a nod. “I am sure you've gathered by now that Dee grew up in an orphanage. It's hard growing up that way. With an environment like that, people were constantly coming and going in Dee's life. The only stability he had was Mother Lane, and she still had 30 odd children to take care of too.”

“But I thought Dee had a few friends that lived at the orphanage too. And sometimes Dee mentions a man named Jess, who was he?” Bikky interrupted.

“Jess was the one that found Dee and brought him to Mother Lane and he did have a few friends, but you have to understand people grow apart and move on.” Ryo shifted nervously when he said that, hoping Bikky wouldn't catch on that there was more to the story.

“They didn't just leave did they?” Bikky questioned softly catching Ryo's drift. “They died…”

Ryo sighed heavily before responding. “Yes… Things on the street are hard and very few people push past that point. Are you starting to understand why Dee would rather keep these things to himself?”

“I guess so, but there is one more thing I wanted to ask you.” Bikky gave Ryo a hesitant look before continuing. “I know you're not the first person Dee has had a relationship with, so what happened to all of those people? Didn't even one of them hang around for awhile?”

Ryo couldn't decide if he wanted to tell Bikky about this part of his husband's life because even what he knew was sketchy at best.

“I honestly don't know much about Dee's past relationships. He did have one long term one and it ended badly. I really don't think I can tell you anything else about it. I don't mean to brush you off, but it's not something Dee told me. I found out purely by accident,” Ryo bit his lip worriedly when he finished. Maybe he shouldn't have just told Bikky that last part, but Dee's hidden relationship with Michele was still bothering him, and he really didn't have anyone else he trusted enough to talk to about it.

“I understand, I really do. You don't have to worry, none of this will ever leave this room. But I might still ask Dee the same questions I asked you when he gets his memory back, is that okay?”

“Yes, I think he might like it, just don't ask him about his relationships. Not even I have pried there yet. Thanks for listening sport. I appreciate you acting so mature these last few days, you have helped more that you can imagine.” Ryo smiled down at Bikky, happy to have someone to talk to.

Bikky yawned and leaned his head against Ryo's shoulder. He liked talking to his dad like this, adult to adult, but it was getting late even for him.

“I guess we're both worn out and ready for bed. Come, let's go brush our teeth.” Ryo gave Bikky a full hug before sending him off. Ryo packed up Bikky's school bag and checked his homework before setting off for bed as well.

When Ryo finally made it to his bedroom, he was surprised to still find Dee awake and reading a book he picked up off of the bedside table.

“I thought you were going to get some sleep,” Ryo said as he sat down beside his partner.

Dee didn't even look up and just shrugged. “I woke up.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Don't know, maybe 15 minutes.” Dee marked his place and tossed the book back onto the nightstand, knowing Ryo wouldn't leave him alone until he at least lied down.

“How long were you gone?”

“Only half and hour,” Ryo said unhappily. Ryo decided to wait for Dee's next move. He wasn't happy that Dee had woken up and didn't seem to be willing to go back to bed but it was up to his lover.

If there was one thing he learned about Dee over their years together his husband never did things half way. It was either going to be a proverbial screw off or if Ryo played his cards right Dee would lie down and probably fall asleep quickly.

Ryo was quite pleased when Dee leaned tiredly against him puffing out a heavy breath. “Not tired,” Dee mumbled sounding rather grumpy.

“Well I am. Will you lie down with me for awhile and if you're still not tired you can go watch TV?” Ryo said in a comforting tone, trying to further coax Dee to bed.

The younger man gave Ryo an unsure look before nodding. He probably knew Ryo was tricking him into it, but if he wasn't going to say anything, it was too damn bad. Sometimes when it came to Dee Ryo had to play slightly sneaky.

“Let me just change, I hate falling asleep in my jeans.” Ryo quickly changed into a comfy pair of pajama pants and a white muscle shirt. Ryo defiantly noticed Dee's eyes on him the whole time he was changing, but decided to ignore the stare for now.

Ryo made his way to the edge of the bed again and started to lift the covers, hoping Dee would get the message and shove over.

Instead, Dee gave him an annoyed look. “This is my side,” Dee said firmly. “I am not moving.”

“Dee, we are not playing this game tonight. Please just move so I don't have to crawl over you.”

“No.”

`Fine Dee, you want to play dirty, I can play your game too.'

Ryo sat down on the edge of the bed, leaned over and gave Dee a few butterfly kisses along his jaw before asking his question again. When this still didn't do the trick, Ryo decided to go for the more sensitive area of Dee's neck.

A few well placed nips already had his dark haired lover's breathing speeding up into heavy pants.

“Please,” Ryo said sweetly again.

“Nnn…. No.” Dee's voice was being to waver and Ryo knew he was close.

Ryo moved his ministrations down to Dee's shoulder and bit softly before moving back up to the younger man's neck, forming a slight suction. Ryo finally made his way to Dee's lips and started with soft kisses as he pushed lightly on Dee's toned chest.

Dee started moving slowly as the kisses began to deepen and the pressure on his chest continued. Dee was quickly losing himself in Ryo and didn't even realize when he was being pushed further and further from the edge of the bed.

The dark haired detective barely noticed the change in pressure from his chest to his hip when Ryo started to lay down, pulling Dee onto his side. Ryo backed off slowly, giving Dee a few more of the light pecks he started with and rubbing his foot over top of Dee's before reaching over and turning off the light.

“Oyasumi Dee,” Ryo said tenderly, cuddling close to his partner. Ryo felt Dee settle down after a few moments, completely oblivious to being tricked. The older man was quite pleased with himself for being so crafty.

His pleasure was short lived when Dee startled him out of a light sleep with an indignant exclamation.

“Hey!”

“What is it babe,” Ryo asked, half asleep.

“You tricked me,” was the curt reply.

“All's fair in love and war. Now go to sleep.”

Dee gave a defeated sigh, realizing he had already lost his battle. Over the last few days, Dee had learned sometimes it was easier to just listen to the blond because Dee found himself rarely coming out on top. Dee finally gave into Ryo's heat and curled in a little tighter before falling asleep for the remainder of the night.

qpqpqpqp

“Get up, Dee, this is the last time I'm asking nicely.” It was only 8 AM, and Ryo was already annoyed. Bikky had missed his bus, causing Ryo to have to start their day a good 2 hours earlier than he had planned.

“I'm coming, I'm coming,” Dee muttered, obviously still half asleep and not moving an inch.

“That is exactly what you said 10 minutes ago. Now move it!” Dee continued the process of trying to wake up and actually set a foot out of bed as Ryo left to finish making breakfast.

Dee finally dragged himself to the kitchen, working more on autopilot than anything. The dark haired man was not a morning person in the least and could only partially function if provided with, at minimum, two cups of coffee.

Dee plunked himself down in his chair and quickly laid his head down on the table, fully preparing to catch a few more minutes of sleep. Dee was just starting to nod off again when he felt Ryo drape an arm around his shoulder and place a hot mug beside his cheek.

“Here, drink your coffee, you might just wake up a little,” Ryo said while rubbing Dee's shoulder. “And for the love of God, do not fall asleep again, okay?”

“Kay,” Dee mumbled around the rim of his mug, taking a deep gulp. “Why are we leaving so early again?”

“Because Bikky missed his bus,” Ryo said, rather ticked with the teen. Was it too much to ask for Bikky to get dressed and eat his breakfast in a reasonable amount of time to catch his bus?

“Missed his bus?” Dee said thinking the comment sounded strange. “I'm not sure if I am making things up, but I thought he was close enough to walk to school.”

“He is, but usually he takes the bus in the morning so he can sleep in later. Unfortunately for me, when he misses the bus, it is too late for him to walk to school and not miss most of his first class, so we end up having to drive him.” Ryo gave Dee a peck on the temple before heading out to find Bikky and make sure the teen was ready to leave.

A few minutes later, Dee heard Ryo yell down the hall that is was time to go. By the time Dee had made it to the hall entrance, Ryo already had his coat and shoes on.

“Do you have your wallet love?” Ryo asked, quickly passing Dee his coat.

“Yeah.” Dee double-checked his back pocket just to make sure he hadn't left it on the dresser.

“Here,” Ryo said passing Dee his ID and badge. “We have go to the station today so I can drop off this paper work.”

“Do I get my gun back?” Dee asked hopefully. Ryo just snorted in reply.

“You're joking right? I really don't need you ending up looking like Swiss cheese.”

“Well, it never hurts to try.”

“Because I am so sure it didn't hurt to get shot in the butt,” Ryo said dryly poking his partner right where his scar was. Dee jumped and made a small yelp.

“Cute. Bikky, let's go!” Ryo yelled down the hall. Bikky came rushing out of his room with a piece of toast still dangling in between his teeth.

“Ready,” Bikky mumbled around his toast.

Everyone piled out of the apartment and into the car. The ride to Bikky's school was short, and before Dee knew it, Ryo and Bikky were already getting out of the car.

“You coming, Dee? I have to sign Bikky in so he doesn't get detention again for being late,” Ryo asked, popping his head back into the car.

“Why do you have to go in? Can't you just write him a note?” Dee inquired, hoping that he wouldn't have to go into that building. It really gave him the creeps for some reason.

“Two years ago I would have.” Ryo shot Bikky a dirty look before continuing. “But Bikky decided it would be fun to write around fifty fake notes. How many times did you go to the optometrist that one week?” Bikky just laughed tightly in reply.

“The sad thing is the only reason he got caught was because he misspelled proctologist, which makes me wonder about the educational system. Didn't they ever stop to think that a 13-year old boy isn't due for that kind of check up for a few decades at least? Now every time he comes in late or has to leave the school grounds, I have to sign him in or out.”

“Well, I never did it again,” Bikky said trying to sound positive.

“Not like you would get away with it again. Anyways, do you want to come in Dee?” Ryo asked again.

Dee looked to be thinking about whether he should come for a few moments before nodding and getting out of the car.

When Dee got close enough to Ryo, he immediately latched onto Ryo's hand, already losing some of the confidence he had built up over the last few days.

The slight pressure in Ryo's hand alerted him the Dee was already feeling uncomfortable and unsure of himself. Ryo had made note of Dee's progress over the last few days, and now and then he could see snippets of his Dee coming through. But right now the man that was holding his hand was not his Dee, but the shy man that came home with him from the hospital.

“Come on Dee, you're all right,” Ryo said softly so Bikky couldn't hear. When they entered the school, the halls were empty, since classes had already started for the day. The main office was mostly empty as well except for the head secretary, who Ryo knew quite well.

“Late again, I see,” Mrs. Burry tisked upon seeing Bikky entering the office with his guardians.

“Hey, it wasn't my fault this time,” Bikky countered, jamming his hands into his pockets.

“Right, and I suppose the dog ate your alarm clock. Just sign here, Randy,” Mrs. Burry said, passing the sign in sheet over the sandy haired man.

“Good morning Dee, how are you today?” Mrs. Burry asked kindly.

Dee was startled when the young women addressed him by his first name, meaning he would have to reply instead of Ryo.

“Fine, thank you,” Dee responded nervously. Ryo handed the sign in sheet back and took a hold of his husband's hand again, trying to ease some of his discomfort.

“Bikky, you can head off to class now, and I hope this is going to be your only tardy for this month. Your fathers don't have time to sign you in everyday, and I know how much you love detention,” Mrs. Burry finished firmly. For a young, petite woman, she could be really menacing sometimes.

“Yes Ma'am,” Bikky said before taking off to his first class. Just as Ryo was about to say goodbye to Mrs. Burry, Principal Shaffer stuck his head out of his office door.

“I thought I heard you gentlemen out there,” Principal Shaffer said giving the two men a welcoming smile

“Oh, good morning Principal Shaffer,” Ryo greeted.

“I was hoping to borrow a few minutes of your time before you both have to head off to work. I just wanted to discuss career day with you again. I have a few more details than last month.”

“Of course, we have a few minutes. I am actually glad you brought it up, because I had honestly forgotten about it until now,” Ryo replied, pulling Dee towards Principal Shaffer's office. Ryo didn't get far before he noticed that Dee wasn't moving with him.

“Can you give us just a moment, Principal Shaffer?” Ryo asked, hoping he could get this resolved quickly.

Principal Shaffer gave each man a brief look before nodding, sensing the tension around the pair.

“Of course. I'll just start a pot of coffee.” Principal Shaffer made a hasty exit to his office.

“Dee, what's that matter?” Ryo asked gently when Principal Shaffer disappeared into his office.

“Can I just go wait in the car please?” Dee replied, ignoring Ryo's question.

“You can if you want, but I would like to know why.” Ryo had had enough of Dee shutting him out when he was uncomfortable.

“It's nothing, really; I just would rather wait in the car.” Dee began to pull his hand out of Ryo's before he felt the grip tighten around his hand.

“You're doing it again,” Ryo said crossly.

“What?” Ryo couldn't believe Dee had the nerve to ask him what. If Dee had all of his memories right now Ryo would have throttled him.

“You know what! You are shutting me out.”

“Alright, alright,” Dee conceded. “I just don't want to be in there with him when I don't remember who he is. He is going to pick up on something being amiss, then he is going to ask questions that I would rather not deal with, okay?”

Dee was grateful that Ryo seemed pleased with his answer as the sandy haired man dug out the car keys and released his grip on Dee's hand.

“Don't think I am done with you yet,” Ryo said before walking into Principal Shaffer's office. The darker haired man just sighed in reply before heading out to the parking lot.

When Dee finally got into the car he slumped into his seat, wishing the day was over and not just beginning. He felt like he had just screwed up with Ryo again. Why didn't he just tell Ryo why he wanted to leave, it wasn't like it was a massive deal.

Dee couldn't understand where this need to hide everything had come from. He assumed it was probably just a part of his personality he got from going up in an orphanage. From what Dee could tell, he hadn't exactly been the angelic type growing up.

`I was probably the type of kid who knocked over the local convenience store and graduated by the skin of my teeth. I honestly have no clue how I ended up as a cop. It's a wonder I didn't end up in juvie for most of my youth. Well, as far as I know, I wasn't in juvie.' Dee thought sourly, wondering what else he had forgotten.

Though on the other hand, as long as he hadn't pissed Ryo off again too much, it didn't really matter if he had been in juvie. Dee had found he couldn't stand for the shorter man to be cross with him. Dee couldn't imagine ever being apart from Ryo again, even though he had only known the man for a week. Dee was beginning to wonder why he was so comfortable with Ryo, and why he had let Ryo basically do anything he wanted with him. Why he had let Ryo kiss him and touch him so intimately even though he couldn't remember who his husband was. When the realization hit Dee, he was more shocked than anything.

“Good God, I think I love him,” Dee whispered to himself.

qpqpqpqp

When Ryo walked into Principal Shaffer's office, the graying man couldn't help but to notice the absence of the other man's partner.

“Dee won't be joining us?” Principal Shaffer asked offering Ryo a cup of coffee as the sandy haired man took a seat.

“No, he isn't feeling well this morning and decided to sit this one out.” Ryo gratefully took a sip of his coffee. With the rush this morning he had only managed to have half a cup.

“That is too bad to hear. I hope he is feeling better soon.” Principal Shaffer shuffled through a large pile of papers on his desk before passing a sheet to Ryo.

“Here is the tentative schedule for career's day. It has been scheduled for June 8th, I hope you and Dee are still available,” Principal Shaffer finished.

“That should be fine as long as nothing at work comes up. Unfortunately, our schedule can change with very little notice. Also, I am not sure if Dee will be up for that by next month, so I think it might just be me.”

“Is he that unwell, Randy?” Principal Shaffer questioned sounding concerned.

Ryo now understood why Dee didn't want to come in. “He is actually recovering from an accident at work last week.”

“Good gracious, what happened?” Ryo liked Principal Shaffer quite a bit, but the man was notoriously noisy and always liked to know what was going on with his student's parents. Ryo thought it would be better just to tell the older man what was going on before it was dragged out of him slowly and painfully.

Ryo relayed selected parts of the story before waiting for the other man's response.

“Retrograde amnesia,” Principal Shaffer repeated. “Isn't incredibly rare to be diagnosed with complete retrograde amnesia?”

“That is what the specialist told me but Dee seems to live in the slight to no chance possibility category,” Ryo responded, still amazed at the kind of luck Dee possessed.

“Well I do hope things improve for you. And I look forward to seeing both of you next month - that is, if Dee can make it,” Principal Shaffer said, getting up and offering his hand to Ryo.

Ryo shook the offered hand firmly; glad to finally be getting out of Principal Shaffer's office.

“If anything changes, I will be sure to call you,” Ryo said as he began to exit, anxious to get to the car before anyone else caught him.

Ryo pushed a tired hand through his hair as he came up to the car. From what he could tell, Dee seemed to be off in his own world and didn't notice Ryo until he opened the car door.

“Have I ever been in juvie?” Dee asked abruptly as Ryo sat down.

`Where the hell did that come from?' Ryo thought before answering.

“Not that I know of. Do you remember being in juvie?” Ryo asked, giving Dee an odd look. His partner could be really loopy at times.

“No, it just occurred to me that with my upbringing I would have been a prime candidate for something like that,” Dee continued lamely.

“Any other great realizations hit you while sitting in the car?” Ryo chuckled at Dee before starting the car.

“No,” Dee said quickly before turning slightly red in the cheeks.

Ryo left Dee alone for the rest of the ride to the station, waiting to grill his lover until they got home.

Ten o'clock saw the two men walking into the station. “Dee, can you put on your ID tag please? You can keep your badge in your jacket, but the station is a required ID zone.” Ryo said as he clipped his tags to the waist of his pants.

Dee pulled his tags out as well and gave them a dirty look. “God, was I hung over when they took this picture?”

“Not sure, love. That picture is pretty old; you have had it since I've been working here,” Ryo responded, heading towards the elevator; Dee's phobia be damned, he wasn't walking up four flights of stairs today.

“And how long has that been?” Dee gave the picture one last nasty look before clipping them on.

“Just over four years,” Ryo replied getting into the elevator, hoping Dee was right behind him.

For once Dee caught a break and didn't seem to care that he was in an elevator. Some days he was fine in them, some days he turned an ashen color while riding them, and some days Ryo noticed he all out avoided them. It was a very particular thing that Ryo had always wondered about.

Ryo took Dee down to break room, finding Drake and JJ having a cup of coffee.

“Working hard as always, I see,” Ryo said dryly.

“Aw, come on man, we just had a huge arrest last week, and there is tons of paperwork to get in order for the trial!” Drake countered.

“Whatever you say. I am going to talk with Rose, and I am sure you won't mind entertaining Dee for a few while I am gone.” Ryo gave Dee a kiss on the cheek before heading off, not even waiting for Drake or JJ to answer.

“Dude, that was cold,” Drake whined before pulling out a chair for Dee. “He can be so frosty sometimes.”

“I hadn't noticed,” Dee said rather perplexed at Drake's comment.

“That is just because he likes you, even though you have no work ethic,” Drake mumbled the last part under his breath.

“Don't say such mean things about Dee-sempai.” JJ smacked his lover upside the head for insulting one of his favorite people.

Dee just watched the exchange with amusement; it was obvious they two cared each other because they were acting exactly like Carol and Bikky had a few days ago.

Dee spent a few more minutes with the two men before Ryo came to collect him, laden down with a fresh batch of paperwork. Dee was just about to get up when he saw another man come into the break room and set a heavy hand down on his husband's shoulder and began speaking to him.

Dee was glad he was sitting down as a new set of memories flash across his vision with that man kissing his husband in varying settings, mainly with Ryo pushed up against a wall or a door.

Dee saw red and went to confront the jerk. No one kissed Ryo like that but him.

“Would you kindly take your hand off of my husband?” Dee said icily, surprising Rose and Ryo out of their conversation. All Ryo could think with Dee's interruption was, `not good, this is not good.'

“Detective McLean, I think you have misinterpreted the situation,” Rose stated calmly, wondering what had crawled up Dee's ass this week. He couldn't fathom why the man was already being pissy with him when Dee didn't even remember who he was.

“Oh, I don't think so. I may not remember who Ryo is but I do know he is my husband and I love him. And no one can kiss him like that but ME!” Dee shouted just before giving Rose a heavy right hook along his jaw.

Rose staggered back a few steps with everyone in the break room starting with wide eyes. Dee had never liked how the commissioner conducted himself around Ryo, but never actually had the nerve to knock him around.

Ryo rushed over to Dee, who was looking rather pissed and might still go for another shot at Rose. Ryo grabbed ahold of Dee and pulled him as far away from Rose as he could manage. The sandy haired man was grateful to see Drake helping Rose to sit down and pulling an ice pack from the fridge.

“Dee, you have to calm down,” Ryo said in a soothing tone as he pushed his partner down on the staff couch.

“But he --” Dee started before Ryo cut him off.

“That was a long time ago. Now just sit here and don't move. I'm going to make sure you still have a job.” Ryo grazed his knuckles down Dee's check before heading over to the other side of the room.

“Drake, can you go sit with Dee while I talk with Commissioner Rose? I really don't need a repeat showing.” Ryo didn't sit down with Rose until Drake was on the couch with Dee trying to engage his angry lover in some form of conversation. Dee just ignored Drake and continued to give Rose a hostile glare.

Rose wasn't looking much better with a sour expression to match Dee's and a large bruise already forming beyond the ice pack. Ryo dreaded to see what kind of damage was actually under the compress.

“If your partner actually knew what he was doing, he would be out of a job by now,” Rose slurred slightly with the increasing numbness around his jaw.

“I know, Sir. I can't believe he actually had the nerve to do that. He honestly hasn't been the same brash man you know since he came home. I would have expected something like this from Dee before the accident, not after.”

“Well, he may be bolder than you think. Just tell him what's going on so he won't do something this stupid again. Oh, and Ryo, I don't want to see either of your faces here for at least four weeks. If you had wanted more time off you could have just asked.” Rose gave Ryo a smirk holding his impulse to touch the other man again; he defiantly didn't need a matching mark on his cheek.

Since Diana had become a permanent fixture in his life, his lust for Ryo had diminished into a friendly, comradely relationship, and he had actually managed to form a decent working relationship with Dee. Their personalities still clashed a lot of the time, but they had both formed some respect for the other.

“Yes, Sir. I guess that means we won't be having you and Diana over for dinner this month?” Ryo said trying to make light of the situation.

“Maybe next month when I regain the use of my jaw,” Rose replied dryly, removing the ice pack to survey the damage done. His whole jaw and mid check had turned an angry purple with a great deal of swelling.

`Damn, that man can hit hard,' Rose thought as he gently fingered his check.

Drake whistled from across the room when he saw the damage. “Wow, dude, I never new you had the kind of force behind you, good on ya man.”

“Not good on him Drake!” Ryo growled crossly. “Do not encourage him about something like that!”

“Detective Parker, Adams I think it's time you got back to work, don't you? As I recall, you have a fifteen-minute break in the morning, not sixty.” Rose gave both the men a glare.

“Hint notably taken, Sir. Come, partner, the fine citizens of New York need our protection,” Drake said quickly, pulling JJ out of the room.

“Should we be taking that hint as well, Sir?” Ryo asked in a softer tone.

“Frankly, I don't care, I am going home and alternating compresses. Just get him straightened out and call me when he is ready for an evaluation,” Rose finished, looking directly at Dee before leaving the break room.

Ryo walked across the room and sank down into the couch beside Dee. “Do I still have a job?” Dee asked.

“Surprisingly you do, Rose must have been a really good mood before you slugged him.”

“I'm really sorry, Ryo. I didn't mean to punch him. He just made me so angry.” Dee gripped the arm of the couch and began to squeeze it. Ryo could Dee was getting riled up again, and it was probably best just to go home.

“I know, love. I can just imagine what you remembered about him. Come on, lets go home, we can talk some more there.” Neither man made a motion close to those needed to get up. Dee leaned against Ryo with a sigh, longing to be home.

“We're not moving.” Ryo said breaking the silence in the room.

“I know. I thought we could maybe hang around a little longer so I might get the chance to defend your honor once again.” Dee snickered lightly.

“That is not even funny,” Ryo said trying to hide a smile behind his hand. Ryo levered himself up finally getting the energy required to move. “Need a hand?”

“Only if you have the strength to pull me all the way up,” Dee replied sticking out a hand.

“I may be shorter than you, but I kick your ass in hand to hand,” Ryo said as he pulled Dee up from the couch with a quick tug. Dee stumbled to his feet before getting his bearings.

“Damn, you're strong.”

“I try.” Ryo put his hand in Dee's and led them both out of the building and towards the parking lot.

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“Here, be careful, it's hot.” Ryo passed Dee a mug of tea and sat down beside his partner, taking a long drink from his mug.

“Thanks.”

“Now, do you want to tell me what has been going on the last couple of day?” Ryo asked softly.

“Bits and pieces of things that don't make sense,” Dee said quietly starting out the balcony doors.

“Like what?” It disturbed Ryo to see Dee like this, so quite and contained.

“When JJ jumped on me, its more like feeling I remembered. I felt trapped, like I was on the verge of a panic attack. I was so angry that I couldn't make myself leave from whatever was trapping me. The weird thing was that I think I could have left from whatever it was, but I wanted to stay, needed to stay even though it felt wrong…” Dee trailed off, not knowing if any of what he said was understandable.

“What else?” Ryo prompted. Maybe if Ryo knew a few more of pieces he could put the puzzle together for Dee. Ryo wasn't even sure if everything Dee was going to tell he was from one memory or many different ones. He and Dee were both playing detective at this point.

“When we were ah…” Dee's cheeks took a slight red hue. “Ah necking, just as you pressed me into the wall I remembered someone pushing me into the wall and pinning my wrists up. I didn't like it, but who ever was holding me was extremely strong. The grip on my wrists was tight.” Dee began rubbing his left wrist as if the ache was still there.

“I grew up on the street, you think I would have been able to defend myself from something like that. Things like that happen to weaker people, things like that always happened to Aaron.”

“You remember who Aaron is?” Ryo asked cautiously, wondering how much Dee had remembered about his old friend.

“I don't know how I knew that.” Dee sounded rather disturbed about what he had just said.

“What do you remember about him?” Ryo shifted his position on the couch so he could see his partner's face.

“I think we were friends when I lived in the orphanage. He didn't live there though, but I can't really remember where. I don't think I've talked to him for a very long time,” Dee finished leaning back into the couch.

“No, you haven't,” Ryo said softly.

“Ryo, can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why do I remember Commissioner Rose kissing you, not only once but at least five or six times? Dee asked timidly not sure he wanted to know the answer.

“I'm sure you remember how I told you JJ used to be infatuated with you. Well, Rose was the same way. His favorite thing to do was to try and land a kiss when I wasn't expecting it. He eventually stopped.”

“So you were never with him?”

“God, no!” Ryo snorted at the thought of ever being with Rose. “Just you, you're the one I love.”

“I…” Dee trailed off.

“Love me? I know, you reminded the whole break room of that fact this morning.” Ryo smiled softly at Dee before leaning over and giving his partner a chaste kiss.

“Now, is that everything you wanted to tell me?” Ryo continued, trying to get back on track; he didn't want to lose his chance when Dee was being usually open.

“That's all I really remember. Like I said before, nothing whole, nothing that makes any sense. Unless it means something to you.”

“Not right now, but just keep telling me things like this and it might eventually clue me in to what you're remembering.”

“Whatever you want, Ryo.” Dee blew out a tired breath resting his head against the back of the couch.

“What's that matter, baby?” Ryo asked gently sensing the slight shift in his lover's emotions.

“I'm so tired of this. Of not remembering who I am and having to live off of bread crumbs. God, I need a cigarette.” Dee was stressed, and the only thing that calmed him down quickly was a puff.

“I know it's hard, but we are going to work through this as a team. The past has nothing to look forward to, right? Even if you never remembered who you were, I still would have loved you, and what else matters? Take it as a blessing that you are starting to remember things; it could be a lot worse. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you don't smoke anymore,” Ryo finished in a lighter tone.

“What?” Dee moaned, he had been really hoping for a smoke. “For how long?”

“Oh, for a year now, it was a wedding present.” Ryo couldn't help but chuckle at his husband's expression, it wasn't everyday you got to tell you partner he was an ex-smoker.

“Did I at least get something worthwhile in exchange?”

Ryo smiled with his eyes going a little glassy. “Oh, I think so,” Ryo said huskily.

“What?” Dee obviously wasn't picking up on Ryo subtle hints. And everyone said that he was dense - ha!

“Do you really want to know?” Now Ryo was just trying to poke at Dee a little, the man was far too easy sometimes.

“Yes, just tell me!”

“Okay.” Ryo leaned over and whispered something into Dee's ear. The younger man's face took on a red hue as Ryo pulled away.

It took Dee a minute to vocalize a response. “Can I get a repeat showing?” Dee asked with wide eyes.

“Maybe later, and don't even ask, you cannot have a cigarette.”

“Not even one?” Dee stuck out his lower lip. Even if Dee didn't remember it he always stuck out his lower lip, which he thought made him look adorable; when he wanted something he wasn't allowed.

“No, not even one,” Ryo said firmly. “But I might offer some cuddle time and a movie if you behave.”

“Do I get popcorn?”

“I guess that could be arranged, but it is going to cost you,” Ryo said coyly. Before Ryo could tell Dee what he wanted, he found Dee giving him a clumsy kiss.

`This must have been what it was like for the first person Dee kissed,' Ryo thought as Dee nibbled on his lip, beginning to get the hang of things. A few minutes later they broke for air with Dee panting slightly.

“And all I was going to ask you to do was help with supper,” Ryo breathed.

“Does that mean I don't have to chop carrots again?”

“Not on your life.” Dee pouted again and Ryo couldn't help but pull him in for another kiss.

This was how things were suppose to be…

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Done and doner! I thought I would give the guys a nice ending since the next chapter isn't going to be so nice to them. Aren't you excited? I am!

And remember to feed the review monster he is getting awfully hungry. GRRRRRR Ahh poor baby!