Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ NGE - Terminator ❯ Friendships ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

NGE - TERMINATOR

Chapter 5 - Friendships



For Shinji, the last month was pure hell. The training was more than hard, there was no day where he didn't
curse the fact that he had to go through it. Especially on Sunday, the only day without being pushed
beyond all of his limits. Because then, he felt how much abuse his body had to suffer.

It came as no surprise that Asuka was the only one who had no big problems with the harsh training regime.
She always demanded the best of herself, a streak of character that now came to her aid. Fortunately for
him, she helped him along. Not by making things easier, but by pushing him forward with taunts and
challenges.
Gone was the belittling tone, and the repeated insults. Asuka acted as a friend, something he was glad for.
Without her, he would have given up after the first week.
Now that he saw what being a warrior really meant, he had no clue how Kensuke could gush over this so much.
Making his body into a killer-machine and changing his mind to be able to cope with dead civilians in a
battle, were things he particularly disliked. Soon, he would meet his friends again, but he hoped that
Kensuke wouldn't go in another rant about his favorite topic.

Well, at least he didn't fare the worst. Her angelic traits helped Rei cope with small injuries, and gave
her better stamina, but for the rest of the training, they were useless. Something the bluehead learned the
harsh way, as she was completely beaten up in close-combat training first, followed by a complete failure
with whichever weapon she was handed.

After such a bad start, she had to fight with all other training regimes as well, with the normal endurance
training being the only exception. Gendo may have had raised Rei to be pilot of 00, and tool for 3I, but
surely not to be a soldier. Her shortcomings were severe, and Shinji had massive doubts after the first
week that she would even make it through.
It was Mana's intervention, who helped Rei on the Sundays to get some basics into her head, which saved her
from an embarrassing failure.
Asuka, still no great fan of her, also tried to help her, but while her challenges and taunts helped Shinji,
they had absolutely no effect on the fragile girl.

Asuka exceeded in all training. She pushed herself on the limits in the endurance sessions, beat him up in
close-combat, and showed with weapons how dangerous she really was. As he saw in the first rifle session
how the redhead made 94 out of 100 points after 10 shots on 500 meter with a sniper rifle, he understood
that despite her hostile behavior earlier, she was never really pissed at him. Because then, he wouldn't
have survived.
Now, she was his best friend. A strange change of events, but a good one.

Hikari, who had to train as pilot for 03 wasn't involved in this advanced training. She had to learn piloting
first, then she would get the same education. Beside cooking with her sometimes together, he had almost no
contact with the freckled girl.
He was shocked as he heard that she and Asuka are a pair destined to be together, especially because it just
didn't seem this way. Sure, she and Asuka were friends, but there were no signs of more. Well, not that he
was an expert on this kind of thing.

His life with Mana was also rather strange. The girl teased him one time, then she was reclusive and too
busy to even talk with him. She was getting along with Rei, and their few conversations indicated that she
liked him as well. Shinji didn't know why, but he liked her, despite her questionable entrance, her
unbelievable history, and the unappreciated outlook on a future they had to change.

He had only a few rare words with Maya, who was busy with getting a grip on the MAGI. She managed to run
them with ease, but her determination to get better than Ritsuko was bordering on obsession.
Despite her status as their guardian, the pilots saw her sparely on the eating table, much less on other
occasions.

Despite all these happenings, he managed to keep true to his word. He visited Misato each day, promised her
each day to come back as soon as possible.
It was hard for him to do this, harder than anything else. With Asuka's help, and Mana's explanations about
being a soldier, he was able to cope with the training. Just barely, but he did.
Misato was another matter. Her addiction to booze was over a decade old, her withdrawal therefore lengthy
and accompanied by strong symptoms.
Three weeks, it worsened every day. Each visit, he saw her suffering, saw her struggle to keep at least a
little bit of resemblance with the Misato he formerly knew. To see her this way hurt him deeply. That he
was the only one who visited her too. Asuka had confided in him why she didn't wanted to visit her, and he
understood. But that no one else came was disappointing.
He cared deeply for his former guardian, and tried to help her as well as he was able. That he could do
nothing more than talking with her, embracing her and softly caressing her hair, while telling her that it
would be better soon, grated on his nerves, but he had his limits.
At least she was getting better now. Since one week, things were getting better, and now, where he had a free
week before him, he would be able to spend an entire day with Misato.

Tired, he stopped his musings and fell into his bed. Three days of doing absolutely nothing lay in front of
him, on Wednesday, Touji and Kensuke would visit him for the first time since Mana arrived, and Friday, he
would spend with Misato. Finally a break.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

It was Tuesday as Asuka came to him for a little chat. He was still often surprised by the new behavior of
the German girl, but that was something he was able to live with. Especially as long as it were pleasant
surprises.

"Can we talk?" she asked and sat down, without waiting for his reply. Now sitting beside him in a comfortable
chair on the terrace, she waited for his response.

"Sure."

"Your two 'friends' are coming for a visit tomorrow?"

Shinji looked questioningly at Asuka. The way she spoke the word 'friends' reminded him pretty much of her
former self. Something he wasn't sure if he wanted to have it back. "Yes, they are."

"Don't get your expectations too high." she warned him.

"What do you mean?"

Asuka sighed. She knew that he wouldn't like what she had to tell him. "Over the last month, a lot of things
have changed. I don't talk about our friendship, but about our entire lives. Especially yours. Due to these
changes, you will have a hard time tomorrow."

"What gives you that idea? They are my friends, we always got along fine."

"Back then, you were one of the baka-trio. Now, you are training as a warrior, understanding what it means.
I know that Geekyboy often annoyed you before, this will have multiplicated. And Dumbheads sexist comments
won't be funny to you anymore either."

He shook his head fiercely. "You are wrong. They are my friends, and one month doesn't change much."

Asuka raised an eyebrow at this bold statement, and Shinji had to admit that he made a rather stupid
comment. "Ok, a lot of things can change in a month, but not friendships."

Asuka shook only her head. "I have warned you." she said and stood up.

"Thanks for your concern, but one month is too short a time."

She smiled strangely at him, a mix between sadness, concern and superiority. "One month ago, we weren't
friends."

Before Shinji was able to reply, Asuka had gone inside. Her words sounded prophetic, but even worse, was that
her last statement was complete and utter truth.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

In the evening, Mana was the next one who voiced her concerns about those visitors. She saw them only as
unnecessary security risks, and Asuka's comments about them didn't help much either. Especially as she pointed
out that they would have to scan Kensuke thoroughly for any recording devices, and Touji for any sign of
brain activity, wasn't very nice. And Shinji did something that would have been unthinkable a month before.

"Hey, they aren't so bad. Kensuke can live without his camera, and Touji isn't as dumb as you claim that he
is." defended Shinji his friends.

"So you are at least admitting that he is an idiot?" Asuka asked sweetly back.

"No, I am not." stated Shinji firmly.

The argument dragged on for some time. Only Hikari spoke for them too, while Rei kept silent, as usual.
Asuka was on the verge of finally winning, as Mana interrupted the still friendly banter between those two.

"I don't care if they are stupid, or geeky, or geniuses, or something else. They will be coming down, so they
will have to be scanned. And as long as they are here, I will be too. Which means that I will fall behind my
other work. So shut up and let me curse the next day in peace, clear?" the girl demanded in a cold voice.

Shocked by this uncharacteristic speech of the normally tolerant soldier-girl, silence settled over the
table. Only Rei's munching on her salad disrupted the silence, and brought them back to a more normal state.

Later, as he finally went to sleep, he got only a grumpy "Night." from Mana for an answer. And while he still
looked forward to seeing his friends, he started to ask himself if it really was worth the trouble.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

Those dark thoughts were forgotten, as he rose the next morning after a good nights sleep. He started
the day as usual, this time including making breakfast, as it was his turn.
Breakfast was a rather silent affair, and was finally disrupted with a call from Section2 that the guests
had arrived and passed security.

Around 20 minutes later, they arrived at the door, escorted by 2 agents. Shinji opened the door and was
immediately greeted with the smiling faces of his friends. "Yo. How'cha doing?" asked Touji, while Kensuke
was still busy filming the geofront. It seemed that nobody told him that he would loose the disk on his
way out.

"Rather good." came his happy reply. He had almost forgotten how relaxing it was just to be a kid. The
hard training, and the prospect of his future already decided weighed heavy upon him. So it was no wonder
that he was glad for a break, even if it would last only a few hours.

As they entered, they were greeted, or rather not, from the other habitants. Mana just shot them an angry
glare before she went back to her room where she planned to work during this day, Asuka just made a few
gagging noises, and only Hikari said a short "Hi.". Rei was nowhere to be seen.
The two guests looked around, and found Shinji's new home much better than Misato's apartment. The terrace
in particular was to their liking, foremost Touji's, because it was also the eating place.

Still, one question boggled both. It was Kensuke, who finally asked it. "Hey, where's Misato?"

"In hospital." answered Shinji.

"What happened?" asked Touji concerned. Unseen to him, Hikari, who stood behind his back, shook her head
relieved.

"Her drinking became too much, now she's in therapy."

"Ow, that sucks." commented Touji.

Asuka, who just entered the terrace, asked wryly: "Why, because you can't oogle her?"

Touji shook his head in denial, while Kensuke nodded vigorously. Asuka decided to ignore the latter, she
didn't want to shed blood this early.

"Naw. Hospitals sucks, its no fun to have to be in one of them, no matter the reason."

Asuka and Hikari were surprised by this answer, but Shinji's next question solved the puzzle behind this
piece of wisdom pretty fast.

"How's Mari?"

Touji grinned. "Way better. I dunno what new kinda medicine they've got, but it work damned well. The nerves
are regenerating, and she can feel her legs again." he stated happily.

Shinji had a small smile on his face as well. "That's good to hear."

During these speeches, Asuka and Hikari sat down as well. Much to the idiot duos surprise, Asuka sat down
beside Shinji, without hurting him.

"How's school?" asked Hikari.

"Boring as usual." commented Touji, supported by Kensuke. "Yep. Yet, since there's no evil class-rep to
bother us, things are awfully quiet."

Before anyone else could react, Kensuke got a double whack against his head, courtesy of Hikari and Asuka.

He looked to Touji for help, but the jock knew better than to anger the demolition duo even more. So he only
shook his head, for which he earned a disappointed look from his friend.
Kensuke decided to sulk, and film more of the geofront, while Touji managed to keep a conversation including
the demolition duo, without getting hurt.

After lunch, which was a more quiet affair, as Shinji and Hikari's cooking had everyone too busy inhaling
their food to talk a lot, Touji asked what Shinji did during the month they hadn't seen each other.

"Training." was Shinji's evasive answer. Sadly, Touji didn't get the hint.

"What training?"

Shinji sighed. "Military."

It was almost audible as the rusty gears in Kensuke's heads started to move. He heard the only word that
managed to accomplish this. Military.

"What exactly?" gushed Kensuke out, while Touji got the surprise of his life. The dark look Asuka shot Ken
wasn't new, but that she shot a pitying look at Shinji was definitely new.

"Different kinds?" replied Shinji unsure, still hoping against all odds that Kensuke would give up.

"What different kinds?"

Before Shinji could answer, the voice of a girl from the background gave the information.

"Hand to hand-combat, tactics, strategy, ambush-laying, weapon training, short- and long-ranged, and the
normal physical training."

As she heard Shinji's muffled cry of dismay, Mana couldn't suppress a chuckle any longer. Shinji wanted his
friends to visit? Then they surely should enjoy it. Payback's a bitch. Still chuckling, she went back to her
work.

Kensuke let out a long chain of question, not even giving Shinji a chance to answer them. As Shinji didn't
get them, he finally calmed down and asked one after another. Knowing that he was doomed, Shinji answered
them, but without any classified details.

After a half hour, Asuka left. She knew better ways of spending her time than listening to the questions
of a military nut. But before she retired to her room to read, she visited Mana.

"You're evil, you know that?" she stated calmly. Mana only grinned at her. Despite the fact that she found
the act of the soldier girl despiseable and wrong, it was still the first time that she saw Mana doing
something that was not somehow work-related.
And well, it wasn't that she hadn't used Shinji herself as outlet in the past. So, she shrugged and went to
her room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

For Shinji, the afternoon was hell. Despite Touji's and Hikari's best attempts to calm Kensuke down, the
bespectacled boy didn't stop with his questions, and his deliriously happy comments of getting such
knowledge only second hand.

After one hour, Shinji was annoyed. After two, he was angry, which didn't faze Kensuke at all. He had enough
determination to overcome some angry looks and annoyed sounds.
After three, Shinji was ready to kill someone, but there were too much witnesses. So, after four long hours,
he finally capitulated and accepted his fate, only hoping that time would accelerate.

It was at this time, that Asuka came back from her room. As she saw that Kensuke still pestered Shinji, she
sighed in dismay and went again to Mana.

"Shouldn't you protect him?" she asked annoyed.

"He is in no physical danger." replied Mana coolly.

"And what about his mental health?"

"He doesn't need that for the things that are expected from him." came the dry response.

Asuka looked sourly at the other girl. She could understand that Mana was angry at Shinji for inviting his
friends, but not even she herself would have been so cruel to let Kensuke pester him for hours to no end.
An evil idea formed in her mind, and as she left Mana and Shinji's room, she had a wry smirk on her face.

As she went out on the terrace, it was clear to see that Shinji was near the end of his strength. So she
decided to have some fun herself. She knew that it would end as disaster, but that was what she hoped for.
Of all idiots, she disliked Kensuke the most. As she was new, he tried to pry information out of her too,
and he was quite persistent. Only some heavy duty violence finally gave her some peace, so she had no scruples
about implementing her plan.

She went behind Shinji and looked at the freckled youth as if he was the dumbest thing she ever saw.

"Hey, idiot? Why don't you ask the real specialist here, and not a rookie like Shinji?"

Kensuke looked suspiciously at her. "You don't have other training than he has." he stated.

"I don't mean me, baka. I wouldn't answer your questions anyway." she declared sternly.

"Then, who do you mean?"

"Mana, of course. Trained as soldier for nearly a decade, from the best." she stated, suppressing barely a
chuckle. "She is the new DoO, and she is the one who killed Gendo."

"And kicked your butt too." added Touji in a not so gentle manner, for which he earned Asuka's fist firmly
implanted into his face.

Touji wasn't even finished with falling on the floor, as Kensuke was already on his way to the soldier girl.

Shinji sighed deeply. "Thanks, Asuka."

She shrugged. "You should have thought about that a long time ago. You definitely need an improved tactical
training."

He chuckled, and nodded to her wise words. "Yes, I do." Then he shook his head. He always knew that Kensuke
was a military nut, and to some degree, he was always able to understand that. The machines of war and
destruction had a somewhat magical aura, not only because of their use, but also because they were mostly
more sophisticated than any civilian technology.
This part of his obsession he could still understand, but not his infatuation with the military in general.
The training showed him one thing clearly: It trained him to kill. To survive, by killing the enemy first.
This wasn't a glorious cause, nor had it any honor. It was survival on the most primal level.
And this part of Kensuke's obsession, he couldn't understand anymore. He learned what it means to be a
warrior, that it means killing. That the training formed him into a weapon for destruction.
But those things, Kensuke would never understand. Shinji had realized this during the never ending questions.
The freckled boy only thought how cool it was to fire some weapons, or to train with daggers and swords.
That all of those were weapons, which only reason to exist was to hurt and kill, was a fact he didn't grasp.

In the next minutes, they heard Mana ordering Kensuke out for three times. Then, the soldier girl came out
of her room and marched straight to Shinji.

"Shut him up, or I'll shut him up." she growled threatingly.

Shinji only shrugged, if he knew a way to stop Ken, he would have done so hours prior.
Mana shot an angry glare at Asuka, who grinned over her entire face, then she placed a fake smile on her face
and turned around to face Kensuke.

"So you want to know what it means to be a soldier?" she asked sweetly, getting some vigorous nods as answer.

Her sweet smile turned a grin full of malice. "So it will be."

At first, she had thought it to be funny to see Shinji squirming. She had expected to hear a lot of questions
about weapons and their handling, but instead, Kensuke brabbled more about the glory of being a soldier, and
how cool that was. This was as she started to dislike him.

She knew perfectly well what it meant to be a soldier, to be trained to be a weapon ever since she was able
to remember. She had learned to polish and sharpen weapons at the age of six. At eight, she learned how to
use them. In her first battle, she was nine. A Terminator had infiltrated the base, and she had seen how
it killed one of her few friends, before she was able to destroy it with a plasma rifle.
At ten, the real training started, and at twelve, she graduated from the military academy. Then followed
one and a half year of one fight after another, and everyone was the same. Long times of boredom, followed
by moments of sheer terror. She saw how people she cared for died, and got herself severely wounded.
After she had recovered, she was prepared for a special mission, which was the reason why she was now here,
in this time, in this place.

Mana didn't plan to actually injure the boy, just to scare him a little bit. This changed, as he gushed about
how much he envied her because she was trained as soldier despite her young age, and how great that must have
been.

As Asuka heard this, she grinned evilly and gave Kensuke a silent benediction. She was sure that he wouldn't
survive this mistake. Shinji gulped, was too shocked to do anything. He had assumed that Ken would ask about
the cool weapons Mana should know, not to babble like this. And Hikari simply shook her head.
Touji was quite alarmed as he saw Asuka's reaction, but he wasn't fast enough to stop the unfolding events.

"Yeah, it was really great." Mana answered in a low growl. With a swift motion, she drew her knife and sliced
it a few times over Kensuke's belly. She applied enough force to cut the clothes, and scratch the skin
lightly, but not more. "At six, I learned to handle blades." she announced in a dangerous voice.
Kensuke only stared shocked at her.
Just like magic, a small pistol appeared in her hand. "At eight, I learned to handle this." That said, she
shot. The pistol didn't make much noise, but Kensuke wailed as the bullet strived his left ear.
A fast punch silenced him. This was quickly followed by a punch in the gut, a knee in the groin, and,
finally, an uppercut. This done, she placed her forearm under his chin, while his toes barely stood on the
floor.

The wall in his back didn't feel better, and the faraway look in the girl's eyes as she told him that at
twelve, she was a perfect weapon, didn't help either.
Unable to contain his terror, he felt the warm wetness of his urine running down over his legs.

His silent whimpering finally broke the trancelike state of Mana, and she looked in the fearful face of the
boy. She smelled the stench of his now overfilled trouser, and with a disgusted motion, she let him down.
As she saw the puddle on the floor, she looked at Shinji.

"He's your friend, so you'll clean up." she stated coldly.

"No, he won't." interrupted Asuka, whose got a surprised look from Touji. "Idiot-boy made the mess, so he'll
clean up. And if he can't, he'll slurp it up. I'll even give him a straw." she finished with the most evil
look Shinji had seen on her face since Mana came.
Mana simply shrugged.

Asuka made sure that Kensuke cleaned up until it met her standards, then Kensuke insisted that they had
visited long enough, much to Touji's dismay. The jock understood that the worst was over, so he would have
liked to get a dinner of the same quality as the lunch was. Still, he could understand his best friend, and
obliged his wish to go.

Kensuke only said a fast "Bye Shinji." before he bolted out of the door, followed by Asuka's laughter, while
Touji took his time to do a proper farewell. He didn't know when he would see his friend again, so it was
a matter of dignity to say properly goodbye.

He punched Shinji lightly on the shoulder and grinned at him. "See ya some time again, k?"

"Sure." answered Shinji. "And give Mari my best wishes."

"Will do." then he nodded at Hikari and Asuka. "Class-rep. Demon."

Hikari nodded back and said "Bye.", while Asuka simply waved him away as if she would dismiss a servant.
He then shouted a "Bye." to Mana, which was reciprocated, before he too left the house, to be escorted back
onto the surface.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

Shinji knew better than to talk with Mana about Kensuke's treatment the same day. It was way better for him
and his relationship to her to wait for the next day, which he did. But already short after his awakening,
he was faced with the reality that he would have to wait longer, as Mana had already gone to work.
Since he didn't know where exactly she was lurking around, he would have to wait until she was home.

It was Asuka who managed to guide his thoughts to more pleasant things. After breakfast, she challenged
him, Hikari and Rei to some video-games. Surprisingly, the German redhead teamed up with him, so, he was
on the winning side, for a change.

Then he made lunch with Hikari, who showed how to make one of her 'special' okonomiyaki. And after the
meal it was Rei, who occupied his consciousness, although in a not so appreciated way.
She came up with the idea to go to the lake. Asuka and Hikari agreed pretty fast, because it was not only one
of the most beautiful places in the geofront, but also because it got the most sunlight from the gigantic
mirrors that lightened it up.
Shinji tagged initially along because he had nothing better to do, and because Rei insisted that he went
with them, despite his sure knowledge that he would be bored. Oh, that would have been nice, to be simply
bored. Instead, Rei decided that he needed to learn to swim, so that he wouldn't drown in a puddle on the
street that he could overlook.
He shot an angry glare at Asuka, this kind of reasoning was her trademark, but she simply stuck out her
tongue.

At least Rei was a patient tutor. He made a lot of dumb mistakes, and panicked no less than four times,
yet she never freaked out or got angry. Instead, she brought him to try again and again, in a way that
never got violent or even loud, but was irresistible. Sometime, she would have to tell him how she was able
to do that. It sure was a highly useful ability.

It was late at night as Mana finally came home, and a short look on her tired face told Shinji that he should
delay the confrontation about Kensuke another day. Because he would spend the day with Misato, he would have
to leave early, so there wouldn't be time to talk with her in the morning.
It wasn't a solution he preferred, but better waiting, than annoying her after a hard day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

As Misato awoke, she felt better than in a long time. Since two weeks, it went definitely upwards with her,
and today, she would leave this accursed room for the first time in five weeks.
While still not permitted to leave the clinic-grounds, she could walk out in the garden behind the buildings,
smell the earth, feel the wind, and enjoy the sun. All things she missed. But even better, she would do all
this accompanied by Shinji, who would spend the entire day with her.

She stood up, took a quick shower, brushed her teeth and her hair, then put on a light kimono that was
provided by the clinic. Personal clothes were banned. Finished with her preparations, she sat down on her bed
and waited for Shinji.

During this time, she contemplated her changed feelings for the boy. At first, he was a weapon for her
fight against the angels. She didn't like to admit that truth, not even to herself, but it was undeniable.
Later, she understood that he was a person of his own, not only a tool. And he became somewhat of a little
brother, for whose she had to look out.
But this description didn't fit anymore.

As everything went downhill, he was still there for her, visited her every day, despite his dislike for
hospitals. She knew that her state of being was repulsing. Weak, pathetic, disgusting in every sense of the
word. She had puked in his presence more than one time, cried on his shoulders, and, most embarrassing of
all, stuck one time on the toilet, unable to stand up. He had helped her each end every time, cleaned up her
messes, helped her back into the bed, listened to her sobs, all without complaint.
He had no clue how grateful she was for this, because if a patient was too much trouble, they would end in
isolation care, which would have broken her. She knew that she had to be grateful not only for his obvious
help, but also for her sanity, and her life.

So, she couldn't see him as little brother anymore. He was a friend, no, more than a friend. He was the only
one who was there for her in the time of greatest need. Nobody else visited her, nobody else cared for her.
So, one question remained: What was he to her?

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

At point 0900h, Shinji entered the clinic and went straight to Misato's room. The nurses knew him well enough
to not stop him, or ask what he wanted to do here, so it was only a matter of a few minutes to reach it.
He knocked, then entered, without waiting for an answer. The sight before him heightened his spirits.
Although Misato would never wear a kimono in her normal life, she looked more normal than in a long time.
Her purple hair shone brightly, and was bound to a ponytail. The rubber band he had brought her a few days
prior.

"Hello, Shinji." she greeted cheerfully.

He smiled at her, went to her and took her in a hug. "Hello, Misato."

She cherished the close contact as long as possible, then, finally, she broke the hug.

"Ready to go?" asked Shinji.

Misato smiled and nodded. Then, she took his hand and let him lead her out of the room. She had noticed the
changes in his behavior only the last week, but they were startling. He didn't blush so fast anymore, nor
was he afraid of close contact with others, nor uneasy in the presence of a female. That surely made it much
harder to tease him, but she didn't plan to do this anyway.

As they passed the nurse station, one of them smiled shortly at them. It was her decision that kept the
purple haired Major out of the isolation, only because of the boy that visited her every day. Now, that she
saw them holding hands, she hoped that everything would work out for them.

Misato had a huge smile on her face as they entered the garden. It was bigger than she had expected, and
had benches in strategic places, a lot of them hidden from view. She stopped and inhaled deeply the first
air that didn't smell of disinfectant for ages. Slowly, they walked to the middle of the garden, and sat
down at the pond, which marked this place.

She didn't let go of his hands, and so they sat there for a long time together. Their silence wasn't
uncomfortable, but appreciated. Sure, she was interested in what has happened during her hard times, but she
knew that for Shinji, this was a welcome diversion from her endless sobbing that he had endured.
A light breeze washed over them, and Misato felt truly alive.

They stayed there until it was time for lunch, which they had in the cantina of the hospital. Misato wasn't
one who complained easily about bad tasting food, but the fodder she received during her stay so far was
worse than her own cooking. The cantina was better, almost like nectar and ambrosia to her starved body.
She knew that she had lost some weight, but strangely, it suited her well. Instead of the vibrant look
she always had, she had now an ethereal beauty, that suited her even better.
After she was finished with inhaling the food in a manner that would have made even Asuka jealous, Misato
saw that Shinji hadn't eaten half of his own meal. She blushed and commented: "The food wasn't bad,
but nothing compared to your cooking."

Shinji smiled at the praise. "The day you'll come out, I'll cook you a three course meal."

As much as this answer overjoyed Misato, she was able to see the clear difference in his behavior. Normally,
Shinji should have blushed and stammered a "Thank you.", not promising her a great meal, with confidence in
himself and his abilities.

After Shinji was finished as well, they walked again into the garden. But this time, not to the pond, but to
a secluded bench under two trees. On three sides enclosed from bushes, and the fourth covered by one of the
trees, it was a private spot, ideal for talking and enjoying each others company.
Shinji sat down on one side, clearly expecting that Misato would sit beside him. Yet the purple haired beauty
had other plans. Sure, she sat down, but not as close as he had expected. Because she swirled around and laid
down, with her head in his lap. Shinji blinked two times, which was all reaction he gave to this unexpected
move.

"So, what happened in the last month?" Misato asked curiously. She was out of the loop for five weeks, and
given the changes in Shinji, those were surely eventful times.

Avoiding the more personal issues, Shinji told her about the training, and the way it improved their combat
abilities so far. That their tutors were mercenaries, that they were trained in all aspects of warfare.
He told her of the problems Rei had, Asuka's exceeding in the training, and his own considerate success in
it.

Misato kept silent until he was finished. Shinji had no clue how badly this news was for her. Because they
threw her shortcomings directly in her face. She had never thought of giving the pilots proper training,
beside their synch- and harmonic-tests. That they could fare better with a proper education in combat never
came into her mind. Sure, Gendo would have never allowed it, but that was beside the point. She hadn't
thought on it, despite her duty. She had failed.
Hearing now that Asuka gained a lot of strength and confidence out of it hurt too. She knew of the troubled
past of the German girl, knew how desperately she needed such a boost of confidence.
Shinji also did well, which was a surprise to her. A positive one, nonetheless. That it did him some good
was plain to see. That Rei had some problems didn't come as surprise, because she was also treated as a
puppet. Concepts like taking command were alien to her.
All those things showed her how badly she had failed. All of them, and herself, and the rest of humanity.

Misato decided that this day was way too important to her than to sink into the realm of regrets. So,
a change of topic was in order. "And how you are getting along with the others?"

"Rather well." he answered, which surprised Misato.

"Isn't Asuka still teasing you?"

"Nope."

Misato's eyes widened as she heard that. She had made a half-hearted attempt to calm Asuka down, but it
was unsuccessful. "No?"

"No. We are friends now."

"Friends?" This was too hard to believe for Misato. She had to make sure that she heard right.

"Yes. I don't know what her message contained, but it changed her a lot. She stopped teasing me, instead
she supports me and is now my best friend."

Misato swallowed. "What about Touji and Kensuke? Aren't they your friends?"

Shinji had a light scowl on his face as he admitted that he didn't know that any longer.

"What happened?" demanded Misato to know.

Shinji told her about their visit, and what had happened. To his surprise, Misato only chuckled.
"Kensuke had that coming, you understand?"

Shinji nodded. "But that doesn't mean that I like it."

"It happened, and Mana was right. His obsession with war was always unhealthy, but that he is a fan of the
darker sides of this job was a bad surprise. Mana knows what it means to be a soldier, so it was clear how
she would react. Asuka surely knew it."

"You defend Mana?" asked Shinji, before he got the meaning of Misato's last statement. "What do you mean
with 'Asuka knew it'?"

"I defend her, because she did the right thing. As she did with confronting me with my problems." Misato
admitted, before she went to the more amusing answer. "And I mean exactly what I said. As Asuka sent Aida
to Mana, she knew that he was in for some pain."

"She did that on purpose?" he asked angrily.

"To help you."

"What do you mean?"

"He pestered you for hours, and he would have continued, is she hadn't taken that action. She wanted to
help you, and she succeeded."

Shinji scowled. "She wouldn't have needed to set him up for such torture."

"It wasn't her fault that he peed himself, nor was it Mana's. He wanted to know how cool it is to be a
soldier, and she showed him. So, don't be angry at them. Not at Asuka, because she only wanted to help you,
and not at Mana, as there was no way that she could have reacted different."

Shinji smiled thinly. "Asuka may have helped me, but in a way where she knew that she would get the most
entertainment."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Misato chirped. "And what about the others? How are you getting along
with Hikari, and Maya?"

He shrugged. "Good, I think. Sometimes, I cook with Hikari, and we are getting along well. Even if we don't
talk a lot. And Maya is barely seen. She's too busy with her new job."

"What a fine guardian." mumbled Misato under her breath, before she asked loud: "And what about the destined
mother of your child?"

As Shinji blushed into the realm of ketchup-red, Misato giggled with delight. He still had some weak spots
where she could tease him a little bit.

He took his time in answering. He needed that, because it was a complex situation, of which he wasn't
exactly sure what it meant. "It is strange." he started serious.

Misato noticed his change of mood. "What is strange?"

"Rei is a good looking girl, and I like her. Yet I never really thought about that. I see her often nude, as
she and Mana are trying to desensitizing me somewhat, and she even slept in my bed, but there wasn't anything
erotic. She is a close friend, but its hard to see her as more. I want to protect her, to hold her, to be
there for her, I can imagine to live with her. But sex and eroticism aren't coming to my mind when I am with
her." Shinji explained slowly. He wasn't sure what that meant, for him, for Rei, for the future, but those
were his feelings.

Misato had a hard time to not get a fit of jealousy as she heard that he saw Rei and Mana nude, and that the
blue haired girl slept in his bed, with him. It surprised her that this feeling was so strong, yet it also
was a part the answer she searched today. She sighed, then calmed her thoughts before she answered. She
hated what she had to say, what she had to try to do, but it was more important than her feelings, because
the war with the Angels needed to end.

"Shinji, you never knew closeness so far." A pang of guilt shot through her, as this was partially her fault.
"Now, Rei is close to you, in a way you never have imagined. It is as hard for her as it is for you. She
tries her best to help you, with her limited abilities. Not only to keep you from fainting when you see
some skin, but also to familiarize you with her body. She knows what her destiny is, and she accepted it.
Now, you need to do the same. You are afraid of her, of her close proximity, of the intimacy. This fear
kills your horny thoughts. You admitted that you like her, that you see her as friend. You just have to lose
your fear of intimacy, of the closeness it means, then, your problem will cease."

"I don't understand?"

"If it would be Asuka instead of Rei, would you have the same problem?"

Shinji thought over that, then nodded.

"And with Mana too?"

He nodded again.

"Your problem isn't that you don't find Rei sexy, your problem is that you afraid of the closeness sex means,
no matter which girl you're with." Misato explained slowly. She knew that Shinji wouldn't agree to her logic,
she had to prove her words to him. With a swift motion, she planted her lips against his. It took him a second
to react, then his eyes widened in shock, and he started to draw back.

"See what I mean?" the purple haired, ethereal beauty asked wisely. She had hoped for another reaction, but
she understood that this wasn't possible, at least not now.

Shinji nodded dumbly.

"Good. Understanding the problem is moving halfway to the solution. And, how you are getting along with Mana?"

He blinked. "I don't really know." he admitted sheepishly.

"You are living with her in one room, no?"

"Yes. I do. But that doesn't mean that I interact much with her. She works a lot, and that's practically
everything she does. Some greetings, a few teasings, but rarely any words beside that."

"What does she work on? She was sent here to protect you."

"She does as well as she can. Beside that, she has to plan the battle against the next Angel, and to work
hard to explain all the new technological concepts she had brought with her."

Misato flinched, planning of the battles should have been her work, if she hadn't let everyone down.

"At least you are getting along." she stated in tone indicating the end of this particular conversation.

Then, she nestled closer against him and closed her eyes. So, they sat until the visiting hours ended, and
Shinji had to go.
Misato went with him to the gate, then looked after him until he left her field of vision. As she went back
into room, she contemplated the things she had learned today. Not about NERV, not about the Angels, not about
the others, but about herself. Shinji was the one who was there for her in her time of greatest need.
And now, she was falling head over heels for him. If he would have kissed her back, things would have gone
out of hand. A risk she had to take, to be sure about her feelings. Now she knew absolutely that she was
deeply in love with her former charge, with Shinji. With the boy destined to father a child with Rei.
This night, she cried herself into sleep, and for the first time, she feared his next visit.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

During his way back home, Shinji pondered the events that had happened this day. Misato once again showed
that she could be extremely helpful, and that she knew him better than anybody else. She identified his
main problem with ease, even if her method was surprising.
He absent-mindededly drew with his right forefinger over his lips, as he recalled the kiss she had given him.
Sure, she had done this only to show him what his problem was, but it still felt nice. No, more than nice.

He directed his thoughts into another direction, as he had one thing to do before the training resumed next
Monday. He needed to talk with Mana. About the way she treated Kensuke, about her low opinion of Misato,
and about the way she treated he, himself. Things weren't so easy between him and her as he told Misato.
He understood that the girl had lots of other obligations as well, but that was no reason to treat him like
a stupid puppy. So, he needed to clear that up, as soon as possible.

As he got home, he was greeted by Rei, who welcomed him with her usual blank look, followed by a peck on
the cheek. After this, she blinked. For Shinji, it was easy to guess that this was in surprise. So far,
whenever she got close to him, he drew back. Not this time, so her reaction was understandable.
As he looked in her crimson eyes, he realized how unfair he had been to the pale girl. She had less knowledge
about living than him, had no experience what-so-ever with relationships, yet she tried her best to make him
comfortable in her vicinity. And all he did was push her back. He could call it evading, still, he hurt
her. She always gave her best, even in unexplored territory, only to have him treat her as if she had some
contagious disease.

Shinji smiled at her, then he drew her in a close embrace. Rei stiffened, which he ignored. He continued to
hold her for some minutes, then drew his head back to look again in her face. "I'm sorry." he whispered.

"What for?"

"The way I treated you."

"You have done nothing wrong, Ikari."

"Shinji."

She tilted her head to the side. "You have done nothing wrong, Shinji."

"Doing nothing wrong can be worse than doing something wrong. My inaction has hurt you, for this, I
apologize." he stated calmly.

Rei nodded, after which he let her go. A small smile graced her features, before she retreated into her room.
She would have some thinking to do.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

It was evening next day, as Shinji finally got the chance to talk with Mana. He had played some video games
with Asuka, and as he came back into his room, he was greeted by a familiar sight. Mana sat in front of the
computer, only clad in panties, and was busy typing away.

"We need to talk." he opened the conversation.

"Does it have to be now?" she asked absent minded back.

"Should I take a number, or ask for an appointment?"

Mana typed some final commands, then looked at him. "What?"

"Kensuke."

"Deserved what he got."

"No, he didn't. It would have been enough to shout at him. Nearly killing him, just to scare him off was too
much. He is my friend, although I doubt that after you were done with him."

"Fine, I went too far. I can't change the past, so live with it. That's all?"

Shinji blinked. Her tone of voice didn't match her words at all. Instead of telling him off, she sounded
pleadingly, almost desperate.

"No." he continued much calmer. "Why didn't you visit Misato? It would be important for her."

"No time."

"No time? Why?"

She shot a glare at him that nearly incinerated him. "Why? You ask me why?" she growled dangerously. "I'll
tell you why. I was sent here to kill Gendo, and to protect you, by all means. Thanks to your dumb head of
science, I have to explain every little detail of the data I brought along. Thanks to your Misato, I have to
plan all the battles against the Angels as well. Thanks to the Angels, and the fact that the next attack is
way overdue, the damn scrolls and the knowledge of my timeline is useless, which means that I have to plan
the battles against ALL remaining Angels. Thanks to your stupid friends, I had to clear everything with
security, and instead of working, had to spend a day almost useless here. But you had to invite them, despite
the knowledge that it would make a lot of work, so thank you!" she shouted.
During her speech, she stood up, and spat the last words directly in his face. He felt some spittle landing
on his skin. Her eyes flared, and for the first time, he was afraid of her.

Suddenly, her shoulders slumped, and she went slowly back to her chair, where she sat down again.

"Just let me work, ok?"

Shinji looked cautiously over to her, and what he saw didn't fit with her actions just seconds prior. She
looked tired, devoid of energy. Staring blanky at the monitor, she took a gulp from a can of some
energy-drink, then she started to type again.

He blinked. He was afraid, but her actions were so similar, so disturbingly similar, that he finally
realized her situation. She acted like Misato before her breakdown.
Shinji recalled the vibrant and dangerous girl as he met her for the first time, and compared it to the tired
looking female that sat only a few meters away.
Shock appeared on his face as the difference became obvious. Once again, a person who was important to him,
was on the road of destruction. Once again, someone he cared for was on the way of breaking down.
With Misato, he missed all the signs. He wasn't there for here, only as it was too late. But not this time. Not
again. Never again.

As he saw her sitting there, working on whatever shit it was, tired, slowly, alone, anger started to boil
within him. No longer did he feel fear. It was replaced by pity.
With a few firm steps, he walked to her.

"Shut the computer down."

She sighed. "I have to work."

"Shut....it....down." he commanded with an anger-laden voice.

Mana didn't even look at him. "No. I can't."

"NOW!"

She blinked and looked at him. Her eyes widened in surprise, as she saw how angry he was. Not knowing what
was wrong, she complied. "What's wrong? If its about Misato, I simply hadn't the time."

"No, its not about Misato. Its about you acting like her."

Mana looked shocked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"That you act like her shortly before she broke down."

"You can't compare that. I'm not addicted to anything."

"How much do you sleep?"

She blinked at the unexpected question. "Around three hours."

"As you came here, you told me that you are proud that are able to only sleep FOUR hours a night. You work
the entire day, and only a large amount of this..." He took one of the empty cans. "Red Bull is keeping you
awake. You are nearing the point of breakdown, and that's why you exploded when Kensuke bothered you. That's
why we almost never talk with each other anymore. Now its some drink, what's next? Amphetamines?"

She looked at him in shock.

"You'll have to cut down your work. You are here to protect me, and I hereby request that you concentrate on
this duty."

"I can't!" she cried. "Ritsuko has no clue how the new technologies are working, Misato isn't here to plan
the battles, and she isn't able to help you getting ready for the duty ahead of you. Beside that, Section2
is protecting you." she defended her point of view.

"Then I'll cut down your work."

"You can't."

"Watch me." he stated coldly, and connected his handy with the speakers of the computer. Then he speed-dialed
the number of the Commander.

#Fuyutsuki.#

#Here speaks Pilot Ikari.# The usage of the hated title made clear that it was serious.

#What is it, Pilot?#

Shinji nodded, the Commander had understood. #Kirishima was sent here to protect me. I hereby request that
she fulfills her duty.#

#Isn't she already doing that?# Fuyutsuki asked, he had no clue what Shinji wanted, only that it was
important to him.

#No. She plans battles, works on construction diagrams, explain a lot of technobabble to others, which means,
that most of the time, she is not protecting me.#

#Isn't Section2 sufficient?#

#Section2 wasn't sufficient when I ran away, so how should they be sufficient against a Terminator?#

Fuyutsuki didn't answer.

#Aoba and Hyuga both graduated from military academies, Hyuga is acting DoO, they can plan the actions
against the next Angels. And Dr. Akagi should use her own brain, instead of wanting everything with a complete
walkthrough.#

Fuyutsuki hid his surprise well. #Aoba and Hyuga can do the planning, but much of the new technologies are
too advanced to be understood easily.#

Remembering herself all too well to some of Ritsuko's superior attitudes, especially when she was performing
tests on him, his next words felt liberating. #If she isn't capable of understanding, NERV should hire
someone smarter.#

The Commander coughed to hide a surprised "What!?" This wasn't the Shinji he knew, that sounded more like
Gendo, pissed version, Agcon 2. Still, the sudden demand was unacceptable, so he tried another way.
#Why should I give in into these demands?#

#Because otherwise, I don't feel safe. If I don't feel safe, I have to go a place where I feel safe. A place
that is as far away from NERV as possible. Which means that it will be as far as possible from Rei too.#
Shinji had hard to fight to speak that last sentence in the same firm voice he used so far. He managed to
do this, although his blush was lightening up the entire room. But the Commander couldn't see that.

#I'll see what I can do.# replied Fuyutsuki.

Shinji wanted to reaffirm his threat, as he recalled that he was talking to Fuyutsuki, not to Gendo. If the
old professor said that he would try, he would. And if Ritsuko thought she could bother Mana further, he
would deal with her personally.

#Accepted. Good night, Commander.#

Before an answer came, Shinji cut the connection. Then, he sighed deeply.

Mana looked surprised and shocked at him. Her mouth open, she wasn't exactly a picture of intelligence.
it took her some time, before she managed to stutter out: "W...w...wh...why?"
As no answer came, she stood up and went to him. "Why?"

He turned around and looked straight into her face. "I saw what happened to Misato. And I saw that you were
on the same path. One time, I couldn't stop a person I care for from going the same way. But not again. You
are here for me. You freed me from my father. We were getting along. You are....my friend. I will not stand
by and watch how you destroy yourself. I....couldn't bear it again."
Tears streamed over his face as he said those words.

Mana too had tears in her eyes. She drew him into a close hug. For long minutes, they simply stood there,
holding each other. After they broke the contact, Mana smiled at him, while still tears streamed over her
face. "Let's go to sleep." Shinji only nodded.

Unseen by the two, Rei observed the hug. The commotion in Shinji's room made her curious. After she had
opened the door, she saw how they hugged each other.
A frown disfigured her face, as a strange feeling washed over her. She felt envious, it should have been her
in the hug. Mana had explained her what this feeling was. Jealousy. She was jealous.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

At the same time, a bubble of energy formed into the northern tundra of Siberia. Lightnings ran over the
ground, then, it was dark once again. A figure stood up. Human shaped, but glittering like quicksilver.
The head of it turned to southeast, the direction where Tokyo3 laid. The body followed. Then, it started
to run at inhuman speed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------

Preread by Ezstarius
Useful comments and encouragement to write by Kuracao
Domo arigato.